The Anti Anti-Aging Episode

Automatic TRANSCRIPT

Hello. Welcome to died. Smart. I'm Sammy me lean and we're here and she's thirty. I'm thirty thirty where. No, yes, we are both thirty. Now, we have entered a new decade. Yeah. You guys have really old hosts they will let you know. Like, our best anti-aging secrets do have them. Well, you know, natural antiques secrets. Yeah, we'll let you know what it's like to be no longer in our our late twenty like to have a Walker. What it's like to be more mature he dinner at four PM. I've always like eaten dinner last night's dinner at nine pm was rough yet. I wasn't even I woke up five times in the middle of the night. Like chugging water, a cut did not get a good night's sleep. Because I think I think you might have been dehydrated before because we were both. We both arrived at the really thirsty drink anything. Like, I literally like a sip one that was it. Pop. But yes, we got it just wanted to talk about because I feel we've been talking. I've literally yesterday I had a meeting and shoes. Also, the woman she was our producer for our new the show that's in the works. And she was like, yeah. Like two years from forty and we're like really, but she was like, it's another decade. I'm like she says she was asking me what it was like. And I like it it is it's the idea of turning thirty crazy because for the last three years, you're like oh shit. Now, I'm twenty seven three more years to thirty shit twenty eight two more years to thirty shit twenty nine. This is my last year my twenties Otit, oh shit Otit. It's my birthday or the day before my birthday is the last day of my twenties the last day, and then you're thirty and there's a lot of anticipation for three years to enter this decade. Yeah. I think that for like, let's say twenty six through twenty. Eighty eight. I was like a little bit dreading it. Yeah. Like, oh, my all thirties. So they don't want to do it. But once I turned twenty nine I started being like, I don't care I'm excited thirty, and I hope that the same thing happens to me when I approach forty. It's not it's not like about caring. It's about that. The thought is existing in your head. Right. But it's not much bothers you. Yeah. But it wasn't bothering me. I wasn't bothered by it. I was excited are when I know I know, but even me who wasn't bothered by it felt a shift in just like in the maybe it's like this relief of all these years. I've been like like kind of living up to it. And then Finally, I did it. And then it's fine. I also have a personal like story about my close family friend who passed away on her thirtieth birthday. So that was like a massive thing that I was like like really really had so much anxiety about turning thirty. It's like always been in the back of my head and like. Why was highly emotional for me like just there? I was just really high strung day. Even I was walking through streets thinking, oh, I'm feeling so good. But I'm like this is fucked up, but it's like I need to make it through today. And it was like so so motion. And that's why like that's why I know you guys were making fun of me. But it was it was such like an emotion fun of you. We're making fun of the joke that Donna like to actually so much younger than us. And you get really sensitive about it for no reason. And it's funny when she says things that are like absurd because she's not that much younger. But she but the joke is that she is no night body. No, I laugh about it too. I'm just what I'm saying that like I was trying to trying to be serious about it. And like, it's just it's it was highly motion for that reason for me. And so now that sort of it's okay, it's. That was like the mental emotional shift. Right. It's interesting. I got very motion for completely different reason. I was like bawling at dinner. Yeah. Just like sitting there like at the table like wiping away eyeliner with a napkin, and for me, honestly, like cry was full. Right. Pool of tears. Adding Tele we'll. Honest inside. It looks really happy. I was very happy. But I also had a very emotional dinner. Yeah. But for me, it was more. Like, I feel like I've been through a lot the honest with you in my life. I've experienced a lot of things of deaths honesty in the past three years of family members. And I think I had a hard a hard upbringing like it was not like pleasant with my parents, my family, and I felt that I was sort of like an of late I've sort of like kind of shifted my own life away from those things being defining also because once people die like you you can't just continue living in that forever. And I think that for me at all really just sort of caught up with me like all that I had experienced at this point. And almost in a way, I had to be really emotional. So that I could like leave that behind closure. Yeah. Like, I felt I felt closure on this phase in my life that like the beginning third of my life that I feel has been very not great times. And it all sort of just like was was being remind like I was being reminded of all of it. And I don't know. I just felt like I had to sort of like you're also entering a new phase of life. We're like starting our own families that that to me like the chills about because it's that besides entering a new decade, which in itself is wild like this idea of breaking away from from your family now, it's your own family, and you're starting out fresh and like in the past couple years few years, maybe ten. Ten years even your learning so much about yourself. And like you've taken all of that. That's why I I really feel like I don't I it's not just something that just sort of in passing. I truly feel it deep down that like these things that we're learning even through this podcast is very therapeutic that like it's really equipping me an us. I think to go into this next step to start our own families. Right. I mean, I don't I don't see it so much as like being about the new decade. I guess the decade provides some sort of like marker that gives it like because it more poetic. Yeah. But I think that this is something, and it just kind of gave me or is giving me like a reason to reevaluate and be like what like even like all my birthday. I was like saying to my mom. I was like I was just so upset yesterday about saying it's a her yesterday about the day before that I was just so upset about like just things like just. Really things that maybe I hadn't even like properly like grieved over or or really like, you know, had tried to put out sooner than maybe like a person needs to or should. And she said to me, she's like, she's like you. She's like, I know that you see yourself the way for the way that your life was for like most of it. And that is understandable. But she's like, but now you aren't that person anymore. And I think that you're that you're you're emotions are lagging behind your real reality. She's like, you have an amazing man who you're gonna marry you have such as successful business. So many people look up to you, you have become youthful apartment that I know. Yeah. You have that in Colombia, right? Yeah. I don't guess. Oh, yeah. Yeah. We always had this theory about you. And you have to listen to me. Right. It's you don't you're not. I literally said this is not caught up to where you like. Yeah. You think your mindset is of of Sammy at twenty three twenty five? Five. Yeah. But really, you're not like not appreciating. But like, I just think I'm not used to it. Because because I think it takes a long time like even just like in terms of the neural connection in your brain. And like neuro plasticity like it takes longer, Lance. Yeah. More than like, two years. I think to reform all those things that I had been thinking twenty six twenty years. So so sh- she's like why don't you just like try to like focus on what is facts. Now, like, the facts on the ground are things are really great. But she's like, I get it. Like, you really hot it, really hard. And I think that for many years that went very unacknowledged in my family, like everyone was always just like you have it. So great. I'm like, no fucking does my life back. Yeah. No. Yeah. That was very emotional for me. I felt like almost had to have that experience. So that I could like maybe hopefully behind again, I've only been thirty for one day. So I don't know if I really left it behind, you know, but it doesn't. But that's not the point. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. How many being thirty isn't it? Nothing's changed. It's the it's the time leading up to it. And then like the day of that you're sort of reflecting on. All that time ran then you're saying, okay. Like, how do I go into the next day with a slightly tweaked mindset, and right that that's it. And it's kind of feel so good. Yeah. It feels it feels good. But it doesn't feel. Okay. I think sometimes when something feels like a little bit too good. It's almost like I know that it's bacon. It'll go away. So I feel like I always. But this this doesn't this feel stronger? This feels like there's foundation in it for me, it still feels like quite precarious. But at the same time like I think that if I were like oh fixed. Now that would be no no one's fat would be vibe. If I really believed like just let it all go yesterday. If I thought that I would know that I was lying to myself. But I actually feel like feeling on sure about whether or not actually let a lot of these things go, and look I don't think that it's that crazy for me to have not let things go. I lost three family members within one year two of them within a week of each other. And these were like important. They weren't like distant. They weren't distant relationships like by grandparents were like, basically like parents to me and like them in like one year of each other. And my brother, and it was just really really hard. And I think that that's like not something that you get over in like two or three years, even like Joan so sure there's gonna be a lifetime of healing from that. Well, but it's also like I feel like sometimes you say, oh things are good. I can't I can't like I can't I can't enjoy enjoy it because I think something's bad can happen. Yeah. But I do feel but forever something back and have it to anybody. But I know your fear instantly for a lot of your life with like cancer financial issues, like literally like fucking experience like I fucking thing. But I feel when you're used to those things happening one after the other and just kind of like always these like deep tragic things running in the background of your life. You're not like prepared to believe that they're going to go. But you don't have to believe that they're going to go away. Right. But but you don't need you don't need to be like like you said everything's fixed because nothing is ever really fixing. I've nothing is is amazing one hundred percent in one day. But not being fixed about being like, it's always like, I'm kind of always waiting for the next shoe to drop of like, oh, I have it really good. But like I feel like I'm like what knuckling my life like gas to stay this good forever. I think if you let that part go though, like if you let go of this idea that everything is amazing now and just experience at everything is everything is chill. Like, it's like. Yeah. But that's much easier said than done when or when you have like as easier said than done, I can give you a vice and you can give me advice, and neither of us will listen to our own adviced in the same rights, flip the coin. Well, anyway, seems neither to teach medium. But it's it's kind of like. Yep. My I want to believe that it's much. It's really hard to train your brain something when ninety percent of the time that you've been alive, it's been trained a different way. Well, yeah. But training takes a lot of time training is like you're sort of go on with your life. And then suddenly you have some experience. And then you're like, I can choose to to think this where can choose to this way. And then that a nugget maybe like smaller than a nut it, and then you go on with your day and everything is normal. And you wait for the next experience. It's really just it's that and it it takes a fuck ton of time. Yeah. You might not be able to train your brain long enough until something else. I whatever may be more used to the feeling a not like constantly like for the waiting for the things tap me shoulder. It's going to ruin my life. Right. Warm. I think it'll. Right tragedy is your norm. Yeah. You are literally. Especially to always be that way. Like, you just can't. Yeah. Speaking speaking, thirty five so kessel of the producer. We're talking like the biggest change for me was thirty five not thirty because I had to in that like age bracket. I'm no longer up to thirty four a new age racket of like when you have to sign like do the boxes thirty five is like a real age like like, my mom. I remember the first Birmingham, my mother real like the first birthday of my mother's that. I remember is when she turned thirty seven, and I think about the now like, oh, she was so young at that time interesting. Yeah. I never thought about a birthday of my mom's that I remember. I just remember she had I remember she had to get glasses. And I remember. I remember. Yeah. I remember her getting lasts at thirty seven. And being like, I'm must be so old now the glasses and third grade sprite. She didn't. And I don't thank God. I have twenty twenty vision. I hope to keep it that way. My hearing on the what are you on? Why? Gary shops. What are your thoughts on like, preventative bowtie and fillers? And I know we talked about that with a gain the plastic surgeon and previous episode about like people should do whatever they want. But just like, let's take back take it back a step and just thinking about so many people are now getting preventative Bo talks, and fillers and all that shit. I mean, it's got my for the second time I've gotten fillers I had to have gained do my due note like my nose of a year ago, which I don't think is I don't really think that as a filler or botox really I've had these things that is filler. I don't think of it as as the same it because it's like it's more like, I think cheeks Moore's filler the knows who's trying to change the no shape rather than like make it even I don't know either way I have had these things, and I kind of don't want to have them anymore. Honestly, two reasons got one is that I keep noticing like p. People get something that I'm going to I've nicknamed filler face. And I think that it's almost something that you can't even really like you don't notice taxed in yourself, and it's very subtle. And sometimes I only I notice it for people, and I only notice it at certain angles, maybe a certain glimpse of in their industry where I'll see something with the is a little off. And all the sudden, I I can't unseat and there's waiting your eyes will squint, but the rest of your face will not move. Yeah. But it's it's it's high always look myself. I got it. I'm right now, I think it's really it's really hard to tell on yourself. And I kind of person who if I did keep going with this would get out of hand. I keep seeing I'm like, I really don't wanna like look like that. I I kind of I tweeted this a while ago. And I feel like getting older of choice between like looking older you're young or looking like you had work done. And I like, honestly like I. It's to the point. Where like I can't. I haven't seen anyone who has had fillers. I don't see this on like, I just see this kind of like, what do you mean? Like, I see filler face on anyone who's had work like I kind of ood. But okay. The second thing that kind of made me like rethink this. And this is so random, so, you know, into my Yang, the bigly girls. Yeah. Okay. So they were interviewing their mom. Oh, yeah. Yeah. And her and they said like their mom has never had like fillers. Bo talks. She never did anything plastic surgery wise. I obviously can't make that claim anymore. But seeing her and seeing how she was like a natural looking woman who looked good but looked like her age. Yeah. I was like, you know, what like I don't who says I have to do all this. Because like I could because I have access to it because everyone else kind of wants to do this because I do like, why don't I just try this? And this is. Less expensive and potentially better for my mental help, why don't I just chide alike kind of age gracefully naturally like my grandmother age like she took really great care of her skin. She and she aged very very well until she like had Alzheimer's and Lynn like looked not great. But maybe like, I can maybe I can just try to accept myself as an aging bursary thing to say, I think that's an important thing to say out loud. And I I don't think enough people think I think there are a lot of people who are in your camp and agree. I I might be in that camp as well. Just like great. You could look like your mom. Okay. Yeah. My mom's this nothing. But she. Okay. She does a great. I know she looks great. But. Okay. Okay. So like, I just think that there are enough people in that camp that. Will don't there aren't enough people on Instagram that are saying that for example? But what I think most above all of that is that the reason people are getting all of this filler ship, myself included is. Yeah. Does social media photos? People look perfect in one angle on a phone like when they look in a NFL modem myself, I'm satisfied, but if they turn or if they smile if the normal three sixty movements that somebody's that somebody sees you walking down the street. You don't you don't look normal yet. Another thing that I've been noticing is like I watched shows I watch whatever TV not reality TV like with actors, and there's is characters that have like like imperfect faces like it's not proportionate. And that's what makes them unique. Yeah. Whereas you look at these getting fillers and the experience of it is very much like how do I make my face symmetrical imperfect? Like somebody in the past said to me, you know, your chin, and I'm like, you know, I never noticed anything about my chin. But thank you. Like your chin is in proportional with your face like, you're more square. So the idea never know shock or just listen to the idea luck is a more longer face oval. That's the ideal oval face, and I'm like, okay. So thank you. I have I haven't face, and I hate how sleep, but can't shave my, but my, but my point is that like if I keep if I do that then I look a little bit not like myself. Right. And I think like ultimately everyone's going to as you age like everyone from the dawn of time or that. I'm aware has felt like getting older this wrinkle this this. It's not perfect anymore. Yeah. Honestly, I've never felt who released. I never felt satisfied with how I look. But okay, I could either like choose to either. And the this same thing goes with losing weight. I think is that like I can either choose to kind of like. Really try to get to the place. I wanna be in terms of the fillers. And I have the perfect symmetry for myself. And then I have to maintain it. And you're constantly doing it on your spending on the money on it. And I could all okay, I could take that route and be, you know, maybe I'll get a quick fix like all feel better one day or whatever. Or I could just work on something which I find equally challenging to deal with which is just kind of like trying to be happy with what I look like like, I just feel like if I'm going to constantly be fighting this gravity gravitational pull of aging which you can do nothing about I could either do that or which is a fight a losing battle. Because everyone gets old. I just came up with the noon for this episode. I could either fight that losing battle or I could fight this difficult po-potentially really fulfilling battle. Yeah. Where ultimately I could end up with greater self acceptance and. Like just kind of like fuck if I don't look like like the perfect symmetry. Like, okay. You know, what I've never been someone who's trying to get by on my looks like no one's ever like, the her greatest qualities that. She's absolutely beautiful VIN. Like, no, that's not really what my best qualities are on this earth. Like, I'm smart. I have we also want to see that. It is okay. To one like we're sitting here like trying to get real fit for. No. Yeah. I am. I don't look. I don't care if other people do it. I'm just saying like what? And look, I'm not saying them. I don't try to be skinny. That's what my wedding tune anything. Like, obviously, I do all these things, but I'm saying like raw realistic here. No. I know. But I'm saying like I could point in one direction, which is like the filler never accept keep fighting for it. Just right. You'll miserable all the time. Because all never actually live up to what I want. Yeah. Listed or I could orient myself in a different direction. And like, yeah, I'll have things where I kind of like, oh, this is a drift. I did this or maybe one day. We'll get a filler talks or something like, yeah. But generally the direction I want to be pointed in is like try to get less shit. That's like not kind of natural. And I'm not saying I won't use face products. Like, obviously, I like to think that that's like worth your time. And I think that just generally trying orient myself in that direction of like do less things to myself try to be healthier try to be try to be generally like more emotionally hole and happy with an happy with myself. And that's kind of just generally the the direction I want to orient myself. I think though, even even further the the person who was doing filler, she was like, you know, the real thing for anti aging is like to be very healthy from the inside. She's like if you like a lot of people are trying to correct like fat loss with fillers or fat game with fillers and trying to smooth out their faces. But really the the thing that they want is for their face to small thinner or like. I feel that you're gonna like everything about you. If you are healthy for yourself like not drinking so much alcohol. That's not smoking cigarettes like that create like these last three days I've been on a can get in this. I haven't been eating dessert like it was a challenge for myself. I have no pimples, I had pimples on Sunday. Like, what is going on my skin my whole forehead? And now it is cleared. It is clean. And I'm like this. The key is what you put in your body. Not like the injectables that you put on side. Right. I that that if we can if we can try to do that. I mean, of course, it's another thing easier, don't but again. But again, wouldn't you rather do the thing? That's like internal that is actually going to be good for your health problem is that it takes time and nobody wants to wait. Okay. But I see the filler thing as sort of like similar to the pill like how? Western medicine wants a treat every symptom with a pill rather than necessarily correcting underlying problem. I think the fillers are completely analogous to that band-aid with. But I think that like look they're both going to be hard both pads or hard because you your again, your people get addicted to this. That's why they end up looking how they look Vicki Gundel sin in the lot in this last season of OC got massive facelift where she said they lifted her face and removed all of the fillers from her past and put her face back on. And that's how I am had to basically. And now, she's all good. She looks great. So everything is perfect. That's what she. But like the I now have this visual my head of like every time you put a filler. I mean, yes, they dissolve. Yes, they do. But she keeps getting them, obviously. And so they're they're so it's just crazy. She got a doctor or move all of the shit. That's right. It clean cleaning picking so funny. But it's sort of like, yeah. Like, why is this something that we're doing like, I don't know when I stop and think about Graham, I'm telling you that is why we're doing it. It is if if there was no means of constantly posting photos of yourself. There would be maybe that's part of it. Or maybe maybe Seri is a shift in attitudes towards women as they age, which I think you see with Hollywood and the media that like women as they age kind of become s. S? There's there would be less judgment because people would see them less like those. I mean, yes, that's one hundred percent v. Like, the overarching like, maybe maybe age should not be equated with something you need to prevent like. Maybe like kind of like how we feel about thirty. We were very afraid to be. And now we are at and I actually feel good about the fact that I am it like, maybe I don't wanna think about aging something what? What? Passing. I know I agree. That's why have never like the. That's why I think I took giadonalds thing sensitively because she's always like trying to stop time. Like, it's the only thing you cannot stop like be upset about something else that you have going on. Okay. Your age what I'm saying? Is that like in the past couple years, the filler the plastic surgery, the Cardin, she not to get into this? Again. I'm going on a production run up podcast today. So guys the Thursday episode. I'm gonna have a little mini rant. Just go in to listen to it. That's just like everybody, normalizing normalizing fillers. And that's that's whatever it's fine normalize. Fuck you on. But I think that that's happened because of Instagram so before before it, we don't even filter any of our Facebook photos. We just post them in wild groupings of the same photo over and over doesn't matter. How how we look that's just how we looked. You know? And no one was learning how to Photoshop or face to like, I just knew how to use like I knew how to code my space nine anymore. But like, you know, I think that that's the that's what exhilarated the issue to where we are now. Yeah. I mean, I yeah. I think I think it's again, just go back to the car dashing rent like to to to basically suggest to people that this is something that you need. I think is really bad for people psychology. Because it's like, I'm not saying, look, I don't judge anyone who gets fillers. I'm telling you, how many I've had several this judger like a healthy conversation debate again oursel-, I'm just trying to it's not even a debate. I'm just trying to think about like how I can live happiest in my life. And I just know that there's going to be so many issues and product again, I'm used to tragedy. I'm used to problems. And like, why am I like I would rather kind of try to reframe how I think about getting older rather than try to prevent it. Whether it's abs-. Absolutely again path honestly as with everything, it's balanced. So like if something is making you feel good. And this is this is the thing that's making you feel good. Like, you look in the mirror, and you like you like what you like, you know, that there's a difference. This is helping you truly adds some symmetry to your face. Because a lot of plastic surgery is helpful. There's like, you know, like in a true reconstructive way. I haven't anti plus. But even if it wasn't like a truly reconstructive where it's just helping you feel better about yourself. I think that that's one hundred percent, okay. Because you're this isn't the biggest your aging is in everyone's problems. You know, they have a lot of other shit going. So if this is the thing that they can afford are choosing to spend their money because it is making them feel good again. No judgment. I I sort of see it. I'm not gonna really again also avoiding going into face moat. We have a packed you. Tell me if I will be able to see your face because I see you every day. You will. No, I won't. Was just him everyday has where both dogs. I won't be able to see to see your face. I see is like your foreheads fine. I'm like, okay. Hey, hasn't next. Honestly, like, look, I totally don't touch it. I've had a nose job and a half. And then I had an answer to go. Rhino plastic. I got cheek fillers. Once I had talks twice in different areas of my face. I do not I'm not against it. But it's the fact that it's honestly, I think it's almost like good that I've had it. Because now I'm like what is really didn't do much for me in terms of like how I feel about myself. So why am I just chasing it? Yeah. Like, I rather spend my money on other expensive items. Yeah. Yeah. Like other things that try to blanket are. Yeah. But then at least to solve. Got just like get over it. And leaving your back. Your closet. Yes. Big up. My other stuff. Can you give us an update on your life post space diet? Oh, it is difficult. It is very difficult to eat healthy. I'm doing it. Really? Well, I think right now because I'm very very motivated. The biggest thing for me was to monitor to write down every single one of my calories. Just everything I eat even if it's like one cookies and chocolate and like write down every single Theresa chocolate. I eat and not letting it stop me from eating chocolate and just going forward. But just knowing I'm gonna write it down. And I've noticed over time that my snack section which is the desert section is like maybe lart more calories than any of my other meals. And so that's where I was like there. I dent defy a problem. That is definitely an issue that I wouldn't notice wouldn't have noticed before. So that's what inspired me to sort of to take it back to add a little bit more control and see how I feel again just to you know, like, they always say, it's cliche for reason is that you can never really make any change without being uncomfortable. So like, that's what I'm trying to do is make myself feel uncomfortable and see if that makes an effect, and I feel a little bit better. Honestly. But I notice that I had an addiction for chocolate. Like, it's not it's not it wasn't. It wasn't like it was an addiction. Like every piece. I literally yelled I need to rest like fucking cookie, monster and. But okay. But but I notice that I didn't like that about myself. And I was like I don't need to be reliant. I've also noticed that I got a little bit more shit done because I'm not sitting there waiting to go back to the kitchen watching TV go back to the kitchen. I was like I'm going to sit with my emotions, and I'm going to sit with them whether that's stress'll or not that's been a big thing. But honestly, I feel like I'm learning more doing this. Now that office space food diet. Yeah. Then about how to have healthy habits, then I've ever had before. And it's really exciting. If anybody wants to I can give you an idea of what I'm eating not that. It's a guide of what what I've Ealing actually knows. I feel like this is like more challenging for you than it would be like I pretty much do the kind of just casual eat healthy and counting calories. But that's because I've never been a diet plan person. I like like, I always hated that plans. So you always kind of relied on these plans like tell me what to eat tell me what. On and can't have my I never I don't like that. It doesn't really work for me. So I always kind of had to finagle my own. That's what's inspiring dodgems regular or real girl. Diet approach is that it's there's no restrictions. I hate restriction. But I'm saying there are no restrictions. You can sometimes dare you can sometimes not dare you can eat based on what you like. But you, but if whatever your goals are whether it's to lose weight or not that's what you have to stay within those lines. So like, that's what I that's one of the RD's dietitians that inspired me about the real girl. Died is Alex Cora and she's coming on the podcast. I think in a couple of weeks or maybe next week as a guest on a Wednesday episode. So everybody should listen. But it is really hard. Because there are there are no there's no boundaries. So I can go for whatever I want. And I'm learning so many Fehmi the calories or the boundaries. That's always how it's been for me. That's but that's reality that that's not like a key. Died appeal yo Di it's not vegan. That's not anything that those those boundaries are arbitrary whereas calorie that's not arbitrary that's energy expenditure that that dictates whether or not you lose weight. So that that and learning how to work out properly all of these things I feel like slow slow and steady. Yeah. That's how I'm feeling. Great. Should we read an Email? Yeah. This episode is brought to you by sweaty Betty, who's shirt, I'm wearing at this very moment. So they're the London brand responsible for creating our new favorite leggings the power leggings. They quick dry their squat proof and their bump sculpting, and they're really really comfortable sort of tough. They help you get through the workout which I found yet. No, I actually love them a fresh pair of leggings of the right material is very encouraging you feel like you just feel like you look great like when I wear them. I feel like they're thick enough to be. Yeah. The feel supportive for sharp. There's a high waist, and they just offer so much amazing support, and they fit your body like glove, and yes, I've worked out in them. I sort of have I've worn them. We're to work. Yes. Because it makes me feel a little bit confident. And I also were in their shirts that I love to just say when I'm literally wearing right now. Yeah, you'll great to cute little. Utter cute. Sure. But it works for work. I was wearing though like the workout tank top that has a built in bra, and I've never been able to do that. And I wore it, and I loved it. I felt great. Yeah. They definitely know whether doing when it comes to active, but anyway, the power leggings are actually there. So amazing their best selling also. So the winning awards for these leggings everyone needs to check them out. So if you wanna get twenty percent off full price items at sweaty Betty, go to sweaty Betty dot com slash podcast, use the promo code DS to get twenty percents off your offer. Again that is twenty percent off full price items at sweaty Betty dot com slash podcast and use the promo code D, S T. Okay. Here's I'm currently living abroad for work, which is absolutely amazing. I really love my line of work, although most people, and it can be very body and health conscious myself included. I recently made a friend easier said than done, and she's really sweet. And I enjoy hanging out with her hover. Whenever we go out. Her focus seems to be on calories and health when alpha bungee keeps debating between two choices asking me, which one and more calories in which would be healthier another time. We went to see a movie with plans to sneak and halo top. And she asked me if I didn't dinner before telling me, she'd run on time and would Bill up on halo top followed by longingly looking at all the other store, but refusing to grab any she also makes passive comments about things looking good on my skinny little legs, which I found rather uncomfortable. Someone who's really struggled with being Sutin and worried about calories or health. I find the concert comments to be really upsetting. And I find myself comparing myself to her and her habits when cognitively I know they're zero need to any advice for dealing with all the diet talk. This seems like kind of similar to the last week's Email with a girl. Who she lived with a girl who's constantly making calling girls fat kind of similar similar, but it's like slightly less. It's less offensive -fensive. I think that this. But I do think the is kind of the same is that? Well, you're not living with this girl. You also recently made this girl as a friend. So when you make a friend, and you kind of don't know someone and you connect on maybe like five things, you don't know what the other five things are about them that like that are going to drive you crazy or not be great for you. I'm not saying, you should drop our friend. Of course, not. But I'm saying like this is the way that like I've known lean forever. So I just kind of know the things that we do work in early. Don't. It's like to me, those are like, just okay. Yeah. That's always how it's been. I don't even like remember dealing with it. But because this is new friend. You are right are like it's much more clear the things that bother you and don't bother. I think what would be what this girl is kind of asking for. It's like a cry. For help. She wants you to ask her about what she's dealing with. And I think that if you could bring you closer and try to understand her from a different level, maybe like relate to her a little bit in a way that doesn't make you uncomfortable is like, hey, I noticed that you're like really focusing really intensely focusing on calories in like a little more kind of an obsessive way night, not judging you I just want to know what's going on. And then maybe she'll open up if she's defensive at first you back off. But it may be you shall open up, and that's a conversation. You guys can have and then you can input like you can give some input in like, you look amazing. But like if you need any support with whatever you're doing I think that that could break a boundary of your friendship right now seems a little superficial. But I just begin exactly. So maybe I think that could be I think that's what she's like every time. Somebody says something it means they want attention about it. So they wanna they wanna talk about it. So. Ask her about it like what's actually going on with you. And that could maybe bring you closer. Yeah. And I think if you feel good about like who you are that should make it not easy. But also not impossible to just kind of like learn tune this out like people say things all the time that are annoying, and you just kind of have to. Them out. So I would work on maybe that we're on that. If you saw the face. Rubbed her whole face their hand. Like so fucking annoying. Okay. Let's play a game hate this game in a good way. Okay. You explain the game, oxen, Maya hate it. Okay. The game is called thirty flirty and thriving. That's not what I hate about. So now that we're thirty we have to start treating our bodies like real salt. So now we have to rank the order in which you'd give these vices or unhealthy habits up. Okay. The second. I read this. I felt extremely I fell flight or fight response being threatened. Again, this aliens dia plans because I do this shit out. I don't believe in it. I don't believe in in saying anything off limits. I'm now to the earliest role. Right. But the reason okay, I've had experiences where I've tried to do this. And I know how badly it goes for me and how much it went on all of that Sam diet yet. All I all that shit cutting out full anything like literally anything me want. It more be backfire set. Me back emotionally like years. It made me feel deprived of fucking tunnel. Getting this fun. Okay. So then rank the order in which you'd give up these vices or unhealthy habits. These are the options wine dairy marijuana caffeine sugar. Gluten hard liquor and truck 'let. This is literally the hardest thing in whole world, everyone go do it at home. I got in my list on okay in order. You would give these up. Okay. There's only one thing on this list that I would have a small that. I would only have a small issue giving up and it is hard liquor. So I would give up hard liquor first because it makes me feel like shit, and like I kind of only drink it because persona reasons. Yeah. When I'm like in a social thing, obviously, I like a not a believer in like. Having the option of taking tequila shot when you want. But like what that's that's like, the least it's the least appealing to me. I like at the least number two is caffeine. I I need caffeine obviouly. You can really win yourself all caffeine, very fast. And you know, I wasn't really having like any coffee. Look it makes me happy to have caffeine. I like it. I don't like to say not things three would have to say no to these things about because we're paying. Fucking. I'm just saying what is the easiest to live without. I think I think hard liquor. I think cat because I don't really like hard liquor. The reason why caffeine is the heart is the easiest is because hard liquor you're presented with it. Your far more you're presented with far more often than you are caffeine. I like I wanna copy because you're like you need a caffeine. Like, I was sick for like a week. And I couldn't really have couldn't really coffee during coffee because my stomach was really bothering me. And I didn't have it. And like, it's just it was fine. But like I enjoy my fucking coffee. Okay. That's you have decaf coffee. It's not the same. It's not the same could have. But I'm saying. For example. I don't like hard liquor like I don't even like it. Just have it to Keila. You don't like to do. I know it doesn't taste good. Yeah. It's fun. Have it socially? But what? I martinez. They're they're good for social occasions. But like am I ever to order that alone? No never will. I haven't in my apartment alone. Pro. No like as yeah. Desire. Okay. Three for me would be wine because again, like alcohol, all alway alcohols are like a bottom of. No, okay. My last one is marijuana. I would give sugar before I gave it marijuana. Oh, no sugars my last last thing that I'm giving up talk. Let's my second to us seem chocolate's. My second to last sugars third to last. Tween Laker in line curtain wide as my as my third to light. So interesting like I feel like our vices are opposite. Like to me. I'm like, I don't really get out hall. Don't I don't like to. I like to smoke weed that much. That's the difference. I love we'd like I like it. But I don't ever really like I forget it the last time. I smoked oh mine was last night. So, but yeah. And it doesn't give me a I love drink love having glass of champagne, see, I don't like the way you about that is the way feel about smoking. I love it. Go out. Yeah. I'm like what do I choose wine or hard liquor? What would I give I think you should give up hard liquor? I because it's hard on your body and champagne considered wine. Yes. Okay. So then I'm going to get rid of wine. Six hard liquors five. Okay. I have my list to go down your list of. Okay. But I to give up I spur some giving up hard liquor second. I'm giving up caffeine third. I'm giving up wine fourth. I'm giving up. Gluten fifth. I'm giving up dairy six sugar seven chocolate and ate marijuana. Think. Yeah. If I don't have. So I don't have all these foods. Yeah. But I have marijuana. No, no, no problems are signed. Because the pro my only issue with marijuana is the munchies. Yeah. But if I can't have these foods because I gave them brave you'll hate smoke. No. I don't like this the food is not what. Okay. I like. I just liked to sit on my couch and think yeah, I like to just think to come up with like thoughts. It just gives me a thrill like there's nowhere more thrilling than my head. Fun park. Like being my head is more fun to me than going to a party and drinking. That's that's a great thing to have figu. Okay. This is my the first thing I'm giving up as marijuana because I don't really I don't care about. I think sometimes, but like I get like deep sometimes, and I get really good ideas. However, then I become such a low tolerance that I become completely completely unable to move. Or actually have any ideas that I remember what alcohol I'm a functional smoker. So what alcohol is to you is what marijuana is to me versa. I come up with great ideas line. I when I drink on. I'm just like a bumbling idiot about this like this is going to be my Oscar wins. I won't say it leader. But so when we went to for my birthday, we ordered about of wine, and like I've never not polished off about a one that's on the table in my life. Only two and a half glasses between each each. We've never. I just spit. I've never got on each no-no about a one. Yeah. That's only two to pry. Yeah. Exactly. Right. So five in the bottle. But so literally at the others at least glass half left in the bottle. And like normally I'd be like we paid for that. We're drinking every. Yeah. Like, we're going to enjoy this day, we left it. This is your non scale win. Yes. Amazing. I would've normally just like we can't leave until this is gone like where we paid for this. Yeah. I paid for this or actually he paid for this. But whatever all the money's going to be combined, so whatever. But yeah, I agree. It's you feel like it's all you're wasting money or wasting the why where's this going to go and be thrown out also Mike it's not going to go inside me. They're not gonna get drunker, but I don't wanna get drunk, but I wanted to. But so with the we'd like I feel like obviously, we get a bad rap because it's illegal and like there's like whatever. But I feel like I can't really be a functional drinker like the next day like whatever, but I could be a functional smoker. So and I feel better. I don't feel shitty from it the way I feel shitty from alcohol. So why show it's like, I can't work out. If I smoke the night the night before I could smoke and then over a run mmediately, nice workout here. I parent is your head is all like loud, you go further running. It's nice. If it's nice out. It's like parts of like smoking is when you get really good weed, and it makes you laugh. That's the only thing. I love I was watching. I smoked actually do remember last time. I smoked I smoked, and I watched Penn fifteen I was crying. Did you watch fifty? Okay. The first couple episodes to get it get it. But then it gets so. Fucking funny. Once you know, the characters and you forget that thirty year olds or whatever playing middle schoolers alongside actual middle schoolers. That's so weird. It's so fucking funny. But anyway, so that's the only time I maybe those experiences I wouldn't give up to make a point about this game. It's like if I'm giving up sugar as six how can chocolate be seven. I guess it's just a game suspension, which let me go through my think, so we'd be number one caffeine would be number two. So we both up Kathy. Then I would give up dairy. Okay. Then I would give up gluten then I wouldn't get to then I would give hard liquor then I would give up. Wine, and then I would give up chocolate, and then I would give up sugar interesting. So sugars really like your top. I mean, as you can tell based on my story that I'm just like guzzling it down in my sack section of my fitness pal. But you know, I guzzle sugar too. But I guess I'd rather case smoke EMMY Noga, but I I would rather have the option. Yeah. Than the option to eat cake because cake is like not cake. I know is like not good for me and kind of is like killing millions. I need a little bit of sugar like my vice I need a little bit to keep me saying, and honestly these last three days I had is sugar considered like fruit. No, right. I think we would not count fruit in wooden this game because fruits could prove his nature reserve. So we were talking to this woman who said that she was just like I just decided that I'm going to be a person who doesn't eat dessert. She's like shoes forty five. I don't know that age forty. Forties. Fifties shoes. Just like I've had it my whole life. It hasn't done anything for me. I'm going to just decide to be rose new doesn't eat dessert. So she's like an it's been a year later, and I don't really miss it that much, and I was like that is intriguing. I could never do that. But now, I'm three bays it. Okay. Get me a chip. Yeah. I mean, I will say like there are some people who are okay with that. Yeah. Some people who maybe is older. Okay. With it. You know, I need to deep emotional roots? My mom, my parents used to punish me with no sweets every week so. Yeah. And so just again there that's deep. They're not interested in cutting anything this is the game Stanford. I know I just think that for me personally, very bad very mala facs when I do things that I try to stop myself from doing things completely. It's like, my my mind can't like manage or restriction like that. That's fine. That's a really positive thing to recognize about yourself. It's like, yeah. It's almost like the restriction makes me want it more. And I guess I'm like kind of very rebellious in certain ways like that a rebel without a car. No, I also have causes so many causes a my on. My non skill went. Honestly is the fact that I like I wrote down. Let's just try no, no desserts this week and see how you feel and so far three days in and it's that's my non skill when I've very big yesterday. We had the chocolate you guys like this one is so fucking good. And you're like, no one is good. I know you're thinking up, and I was like it's my birthday. I whatever I sit. And I said I'm not gonna talk about it in my head. And then I came home, and there was more chocolate in the gift bag. Oh, I didn't. I didn't have that yet. That's tonight for me. But I came home, and I had the leftover cake from the night my dinner. I didn't we threw that away. Right. That was that was a bad news bears. I honestly Queen and with that cake. Knock good. I was literally having stomach problems Queen Anne style. Okay. Let's read on scale. When will you read it because I have our jeez, my throat hurts. I just graduated from college in December and moved back to my hometown four hours away before starting grad school, I had gotten into a really bad habit of stopping to get fast food halfway through my trip going there and back. So if I went home for a short weekend trip that would possibly be twice in one weekend. Sometimes I would eat lunch before I left or bring a snack with me or I wouldn't even be hungry enough for the whole fast food meal, but over my four point five years of college I'd made it such a habit that I would go through the motions of getting the fast food at that spot. I started to turn off at at the exit every single time like it was part of my trip. I went back to visit my friends who are still there last week, and I made the conscious effort on the way there to stop at the gas station instead of the fast food and get a more controlled snack of homeless and. Zola's on the way back eaten a huge lunch before I left, and I got so close, and I got close to the fast food. I realized it wasn't even hungry and did not even stop. I've never thought of non scale wins before and would probably have never broken this habit. If it hadn't been for this. That's that. Honestly is such a win to break a habit that you know, we always say like don't want when you when you turn something like indulgent into a habit. That's when you know, you gotta break it, right? And it's I because every time AVI are drive somewhere. I have to get Dunkin donuts coffee like it's this weird thing where I associated dry would all the time. I know I associate driving somewhere getting Dunkin donuts specifically not start not some other crops mass to beat buck in Dunkin. Yeah. And yeah, I got a skit to like sometimes I just did that like, and I was like, okay. Well for here. I need one munch, right? One munchkin is perfect perfect. It's fleming. You're like she's giving give me too isn't. She. And then I'm like, no just one we go in the bag this having like two years ago when she gave me one fucking. Yes. To me. No, don't give you just one. Yes. So I get that is really hard because I now can't go anywhere without, you know, Dunkin donuts stop, and it's killing me. But. I guess we're going to close out with our audience workout song of the week dirty by Christina Aguilera. Good size grates on my list. Do it. Okay. Added to your list. All right, guys. This has been a really really fun episode emails DSP at benches dot com. Follow us at starts. Tomorrow. Follow Sammi at Sammy fellow me at a lean ask us anything you want via Email. That's better. If you want to answer something on the podcast. That's better. If there's any games that's just like the best way to contact us. You can definitely personally to if you want just like, but if you wanted a bigger a bigger chance of something making it into the official outline, I would say emails ESPN dot com. That's the best place to ensure that something we'll get into the show in our Facebook group. It's called diet starts tomorrow. Actually, someone deemed me asking like if I have any advice for them about finding a workout buddy. She's like I thought about that. When I listened to the tone it up episode, and I'm like, I just don't really know where to find someone. I'm like join the diets are smarter everyone on there is like down yet. And she's like, I didn't even think of that. I didn't. No about the group and she joined promote the group said, well, she was like, thank you. I didn't even think of that. So honestly asked me for some advice here to help. But join the group everyone there is a strong s bitch community batch community, and everyone is really supportive. We kick out anybody who's trying to sell something we kill. We kill. We kick. People kill you. We kick people out who's trying to who's not supportive. But so far. I haven't seen anybody. Who's like a judgmental at all? Yes. More so just relief spades. It is really it's truly safe people talk about they're like deep rooted emotional issues eating disorders. And it's it's honestly like, it's a really it's an amazing space. I think it is. So that's dies tomorrow on Facebook. And we love you also much talk to you Mehta's by. Yeah.

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