257: There Eye Am (w/ Taha Khan at VidCon London!)


Each. Listener supported W. nyc studios. Hello everyone. It's Hank an absolute pleasure to talk with you this week we got one from the archives was a little bit of a weird recording of deer handgun John. because. I was at Vid Con London and suddenly I was like, Ta, do you want to go record an episode of Deer Hankins John with me and my hotel room, and if we're being honest I was not super prepared to do that I probably should have been more prepared had to run across the street to get batteries kind of situation we had. A few episodes banked in preparation for my book tour that never happened. So we've got these old episodes of dear. John that we just don't. We just haven't released. So yeah, this one is super old enough that ve incomes were still happening the day I recorded. This was for example, last time I got a professional haircut it's just been my mother-in-law and me ever since then so sit back enjoy a message from another time and also remember you can preorder the anthropology and reviewed book now anyway on with this show everybody. Hello and welcome to deer hanging John Whereas I like to call it did ton-hunk. Casper to people usually two brothers but sometimes to answer your questions, give me advice and bringing one of the week's news from Mars and AFC Wimbledon. We might not do that today because we're recording this advance and we're recording it with a special guest talken who has just given me this dad joke to tell you and I will tell it back to him. Why do cows half of? Why why did cows have hooves because they lacked hose? A classic first time I'm hearing that. Tell us a little bit about yourself. I'm and I make youtube videos into missing late. I tweet a lot I get mentioned that in you would cost the sometimes. I make take talks and A. University? I think that's my full music videos as well. I did that for you. Nice and you did you broker have you ever brokered an an oat milk brand deal? I haven't however I am tangentially related to people who have done say Dang it have you ever brokered a brand deal at all yes. Oh, for what for I did a book Brown deal with. Penguin books there my publisher and the reason that it sounds a little. Kelly by the way it's recording this in a hotel room not in a studio or anything. It's very cozy environment. We are less than a foot away from each other one foot could have been placed in between us and it would be too much of a distance I. There are some. That would not fit between us. What's No Yeah. Some people's feet are very big. I got pretty big fee. You think you can hike is pushing a shoe between L. knows is right now. That's that's but I don't have the biggest feed. Yeah. That's true. That's true. That was an experience. Put the part of the show that is GonNa be stinky closer to my face. Understandable. You've got the to- part. Appreciate you'll shoe. Yeah in this. The thing I wanted to talk about before we started the podcast that was really that catch Apac Oh my God. My God. I know it says it was forty grams, but I would have to explain what we're talking about. We got just got room service in the hotel because we're starving and. Had a long day at BITCON. London and. Delivered along with our chips chips. Let's you'd call them some stokes doubly tasty tomato ketchup twice the tomatoes in every dollop. So that's just the per dollop. How many dollops do you think we're in this thing? It's what his it's saying it same as twice the tomorrow, the density of tomato. Ketchup is already high. Yeah, and then they also gave you a lot of ketchup someone's like. The tomato but like quadruple or eight tumble. Normal Ketchup packet. Yeah. Made in the UK I opened it up and I started support out and then just kept happening and pouring the wrightwood. Yeah like it was it was pouring like. Most packets you have to squeeze them out. At this was just It was like some it was like murdering someone. Game we came with a giant packet of Bana, is to though I feel as a man is not a little less than thirty two leaders as opposed to forty grams which. Is. I guess the volume is the same between grams and Mellitus. That's fine for Water Oh. Yeah. Yeah. Man is probably an in ketchup has soom slightly different. Than Water, this is what you'll the science guy. That's what they pay me big bucks for we only do delicious is what it says I. I can't recommend this up enough it really taste of it, which is very good but also the experience of being a ketchup packet that is the size of a mouse. Yeah. Yeah. SORTA OF THE MOUSE OF A MOUSE A. Pretty big mouse just have a big mouse lying around just to fill it with ketchup can fill it all the way up. Yeah. He was like a water balloon. I actually would if you want to imagine this, I recommend getting forty grams of Guetchev and putting notably. Think. It's like that it's exactly like that. I'm I'm going to continue to be amazed by and I want to remember that Ketchup. I want to remember that experience and I wonder if if like ten years from now, every ketchup packets going to be like that and we'll look back and be like kids today they don't how good they got it. We had we had to squeeze seven catch up to get. Yeah. We're going to have the. We're GONNA have the worst kids. Today's like like my grandparents are like kids today when I was their age we didn't have like food or heat, and I'm going to be like kids today they're catch him back. A. Kids. Today they don't know how good their Internet is saw the density of tomatoes and catch up. With Super Inadequate, deeply disgusting. I have some questions from our listeners now that we've gotten through the most important part of the podcast with measuring the distance between our faces and talking about the amount of ketchup that exists inside of Ketchup packet, and that question comes from Sydney who ask steer Hank and todd how different animals make such different noises. It makes sense to me that birds would like sound different for mammals, but it seems like cat meows and dog barks should have more overlap not the city, Australia? Sydney. I know this because my mother is named Sydney just like sitting in Australia. Up Your mother is not the city in Australia, it's definite. No I know I know that there are people who are named. Oh. Way To, phrase. This question might very well be from my mom. It does sound like the kind of question she would ask Taha, why'd you dogs and cats sound different? That was that was wants a dog and a cat the sounded the say. But turns out I. Actually think cats and dogs do. So I was like. I just disagreed with the premise of the question and I was like how do I answer this question accepting the premise Premise. Now, if I look like a whimper of a dog, right meow of a cat, not different. Yeah and sometimes my cat does sort of like growl something's gone. Yeah that she doesn't like. And I also feel like if you sized up a cat to the size of a dog right that you that you get more of like a little doggy Dogg ish style. Sounds because if you size even more, it's like a big cat, they do they definitely growl. Yeah Yeah. They didn't balk. No. Yeah. I I I think ultimately, the actual answer to the question is like evolutionary pressure right? Like barking has a purpose and like cats don't require that purpose, no cats aren't like trying to protect their clan and let everybody know that something's going on because they are not social animals in the wild the way the dogs are yeah. So dogs are communicating with one another with loud pointy noises and cats are sort of more communicating close up or with big scary noises I wonder if there's one of dog and cat is a bad example but the point still stunts because they want WanNa know what the Fox says I have no choice. Fox's make bunches of noises. They Kipper. Okay I. Think what they call it. The Fox. You've heard that one broad. Yeah. Folks in London hippos are big. Big. And they sound a little like cows are also very big. Yeah. Sort of sort of sort of cowboys but also a little bit of a pig. Pig Cow. Yeah, it was a basic how big Pig House yeah. Yeah it seems like it's scandals up and down. Yeah. But like Wellstone Nick Lowe picture is they do but they also golly. It's whatever's needed. Have you tried to? I was going to say, have you ever tried to drown another? Yeah Hold Ketchup. Back. I'm pretty sure it was alive. So we've decided that they don't sound that different and that you're wrong Sydney. Yeah, I'm sorry. Is Not. The impression that I wanted to give. The impression that I'm giving this next question comes from an who ask steering can John You're also gonNA disagree the of this question probably maybe I don't understand Fahrenheit I've heard people say that it's hot at one hundred degrees Fahrenheit but also that you have a fever when your body temperature is above forty degrees Fahrenheit No you've gotten it wrong and I understand. That's confusing. When body temperature is forty degrees Fahrenheit, you've been quite dead for a long time. Ago. When it's one hundred degrees, Fahrenheit? It's hot one. Okay. Forty degrees Fahrenheit lost forty Fahrenheit is cold. Okay. Hundred turn hype hot. Zero it was cold. Also called forty is like Chile. I thought the whole point of Fahrenheit was. When a human looks zero like fast cold and when they look at one hundred dollars that's pretty hard. Yeah and forties like Jilin Okay but it's like what jump weather? Yeah and Jackie weather is a is zero. Yeah. Well, even more. Zeros pretty hard to get to which it is I think it's not perfectly cut. It's it's actually it wasn't decided Fahrenheit wasn't like I should make scale where one hundred is hot for a human zero is cold for a human he was like I should make a scale that encapsulates all of the temperatures that occur where I live. Lived in a place where it didn't get much colder than zero ever and it didn't get much hotter than one hundred ever. So he was like, here's my scale. So what's your own height just? In High. Right. Now, my body temperature yet is, is like ninety eight ninety seven Oh. Yeah. Wow. So full fourteen Fahrenheit. Your Dad, Oh yeah we we. How Why do people say this? I remember being like I don't understand how one hundred is both boiling, but also sometimes it's one hundred degrees outside But. But yeah, it's just sometimes you get some info somebody says on the wrong and you hold onto it. So this is this is multi degree C cells. The increase is hot would be pretty greasy. Body temperature. Really. What's forty you? What? What? Do you use. Are You just Kelvin? No you Celsius. So what's forty see? Thus reluctance dot really hot it's temperature I. Think it's about the temperature vehement budget I thought I was twenty seven. And thirty seven degrees human body temperature. But if it's thirty seven degrees outside, it's like this hot. Yeah. Because the air because it's Air you get like thirty seven degrees. It feels cool. Wow. Do you want to know about why that is because there's what? They call. A. It's that it's carrying the heat away. So, if if water is like thirty five degrees, it's carrying heat away from your body. Yes. Airs thirty five degrees. It's carrying him away from your body, but it's not doing efficiently. Yeah and that's why. Because they don't carrying anything away from your body if you're in a solid block of. Thirty five degree. It'd be the main problem would be that you're inside of a solid bloc. Don't. Don't let your friends do this deal put you inside of a solid luck? Yeah. No anything like. Poor pouring. Solid Block of. You know. What's a common solid block? stor is usually what people are mold around. Youtube? Closet the then. Did. You hear about this. Is a British. Youtube. Unfortunately put a bunch of plus a bathtub and then going and I think it was like a challenge was his friends nearby. Yeah. Okay. Good. But they had to call the our engines Y- specifically. No, one not five what. Firefighters Vega and businesses and stuff, and to chip him out yet chip amount Did you end up peeing in the? Yeah. Because he was stuck in there for a while, oh I don't know. I. All I knew about is because everyone loves the NHTSA here If you don't. Fight me And there was a lot of outrage over the fact that they will wasting love resources of the NHS. That's how I heard about it Yeah. Love that I love that sorta societal cohesion where people are like don't do stupid shit. We're all paying for this. Yeah. All right. This one is from Eleanor, who asks Dear Hancock Taha I'm too good at making friends whoa. I've never got the. We've never gotten this question before this is the first. Okay. We've gotten lots of questions that are the opposite of this. I can only invite ten people to my party and they have like thirty pals. You actually have experience with this because you have so many pals should I just not tell some of them and hope they forget firth days and BFF's forever. So I was having a birthday could only invite ten of her house. Okay. But has thirty pounds this this sounds like a mass question I would get in an exam. Eleanor has ten friends know eleanor has more than. One hundred thirty friends. Yeah. what would you do? What would I d? A bunch of them don't show up. Well, you can always rule of thumb ten percent of Naga show. Right? You've got to schedule it on an important day. Yes. Sometimes when people are doing something Christmas. Yeah. I like if you go thirty pals, you should do three things and just have invite ten of them. Each id sounds expensive while you could just play board games we'll be free good call. Yeah. Yeah I was. deuce free. Let me think what would you do? You have many I like this three board game nights in a row. Yeah. Yeah. Because then you get to go to three. Best House like a perfect deal. But still I feel like we're avoiding the question. Well, I, guess I guess the question is, should I not tell them? No, they definitely not I. Think you should I think you should definitely not tell. actually yes. I do that all the time that's what you do. That's how social lives work it is you just do this all the time and then happens to meet to or I see like my friends like on instagram and they're like hanging like three people are hanging out and I didn't know about this hang out. Yeah. That was not pulled. This would happen. Yeah. It's not that I said no, it'd be I would have. Yes but it's that I didn't get a chance to say, yeah really another way you could do it is you people? Oh, when you when you free this week and then whatever days they say no to you make sure that thirty ten. Ten people ask Yes to and then when when we will. Math from like, Oh, you didn't invite me when I asked you that you were like a free you were dame we're going to. So you send out a doodle doodle. Thing that you drool in a mass book, it's also an APP it's Oh oh yeah. Start up. Yeah where you can say something what time available and then you just pick one time when only ten people are available can they see the results they can with this that's true. I don't like it has to be a new APP this dollar idea you talking about Google forms no it's an APP that lets people put in their times when they're available and then you say I only want to hang out with six people and then finds the time when only the only six people are available or you say I want to hang out. With, these five people but I want to invite ten people tell me when just these five people can hang out and Wade goes I think this will only be relevant eleanor maybe people who are good friends. Yeah. I like it. So we you got to have a million is this do you have another million dollar idea or is this one what other million dollar idea? Do you have Tiger phobic coaching in the inside of Ketchup packets? So you open up a forty Graham catch a packet you don't squeeze it just it just explodes out. It's just like just shoots out like from an artery feel it's not going to be highly pressured. Trying to make a grenade. Man We gotta do you have a car? I do you know anyone with a car? I WANNA run over one of these ketchup packets with a car. Catch, it's so much catch Oh. My God. All right. All right. I think we I think one. We have a solution to this problem not nefarious, which is that you have multiple parties and why not? Yeah. In two, we have enough area solution, which is just to plan around when people aren't available. Yes I love it both ways. Yes. Oh, another idea I'll curse you. So I do both games. Nights where invite like twenty five people but I I'm like I I'm banking on less than ten people coming because the biggest ballgame I can do is ten people. So now what I do is I have like a rolling at facebook event and I have a rolling invite. So invite some people. Say They can't come on more people. More people until I get to my tanner and then I'm good right and I mean and the other like honest thing is that this will happen forever and for always yeah, we will always make not be inviting everybody we want to invite and we should also know that we don't get invited. It's not because people didn't want to it might be. Because it's because we said no one too many times, which is something that happens with me in that I need to communicate I would like the opportunity to say, yes, because I need to hang out with people more. Yeah. I need to hang out with people more you can. You can hang out with me. Thank you for coming over to my hotel room. Having burgers with me Eating the best ketchup the best catch up only the finest job Catherine asks dear, Hanke I have blonde hair and I'd like to know why if water is clear does my hair get darker when it is wet? It doesn't seem to happen in my hair is actually in water like an pool. My hair looks the same color when it's underwater. But when I'm not under water I, Hair looks way darker when it's wet why does this happen? Pretty cool. That is pretty cool I'm GONNA I'M GONNA I'm GonNa go talk science right now. Correct. Firstly, when your hair is under the water, it is not yet. It is only wet when you when you come out to the Internet had this conversation already and I don't know that we. Get into it. But okay. So the hair when it is water in wanted his underwater it's not it's not what okay I'm going to let it go. Yeah. I don't need because it's has surrounded by at and then this. Has. Run by water but states saw not wet. Says it has surrounded by water surrounded by at. This is what has to be. Yeah. That'd be layers situation. Yeah exactly. If you're underwater, then I guess is there's a lot of water, but then there's A. Yeah you. Have to be in what you have to have. A cap on top. Yeah. Something to prevent you the air for it for not be what? Yeah. I guess I guess my son's has already falling apart however, I will power through. I would say because it clumps together and then the lights can't get through as fast. And Everyone Is the same speed the whole time. You can change the speed of light in different mediums. But that's not. Get into. A mile move validation thing. Let me think I'm going to figure this out. Are you do? It has to do with light light refracted. It's more less. It's not really a refraction. Lights is dampened water lights is slow. Light is absorbed and reflected REF- refracted verse. I decided to write a long time refracted not flexible. Yes. Oh yes. Okay. Light is reflected. Bless less when the water is. Dry. The light is reflected more light. I'm light. Is Correct. reflected. Better by yeah. But the water. More. When IT IS WET Obviously. Look. Okay. The light is reflected more. By the water nine, the hat. there. and. Then there's a tortoise and the hand that's it doesn't vote somehow. So light goes through the water hits your hair. Yeah back. Then the the light that comes off your hair's what we're seeing. Yes. As the color of the hair yet. So a lot of the like it's absorbed by the hair, and then the stuff that gets reflect is what we see. Yeah. But when there is water on the hair, some of the light as it's exiting to come back to US gets reflected back onto the hair again and reabsorbed and reabsorbed. So basically, the light has sort of a second chance to get absorbed by your hair. So some of the light, not all hit your hair more than one time, and there's some light will like it's exponential rate, and so he likes them in keep going until. It gets absorbed and so more of the light gets absorbed by the hair. So it is an increase, it is the reflection on the outgoing. So that the surface of the water as the light is going out surface between the the water and the air can reflect back to the hair. Okay. So what I'm hearing is AH, when the head is in the water. Is Wet. I mean this is an interesting thing because. Dark bike hair is darker when it's wet, but it's not darker when it's in the water, right? So this is interesting. That sounds like, yeah we've definitively conclude a water is not wet. The water is not what I never really thought water was wet. I never thought about it. Really that whole thing happened on the Internet like six months ago. I can't be bothered. No, I was just like. I don't really understand what they're talking about and I just moved on with my life. They like there were like water is wet and I was like, yeah. Water is not what the things on it as well and I was like, yes. Sure. Okay. I can see both sides. It wasn't even that I felt like they were agreeing. And I was like, okay these are both correct. Yeah. Okay that's honestly I I actually see where you're coming from. Yeah. Actually makes sense to me like both of those things are true. 'cause it's like the. Word wet is just meaning to different things. Yeah. It's like one is the property of the water is wetness. Yeah and the other one is that when it's on something, it is wet. You figured it out way too fast. Yeah. You can't tell you. You couldn't have told anyone now because then other fund would be spoiled. Yeah. They would. They would hear your explanation and they'd be like, aw I wanted to have an art you man what about the means? Which reminds me that this is brought to you by the memes mostly the ones with spongebob in them Yes. This episode is brought to you by heat. Heat for for when your cold and this? Is additionally brought to you by Atanas new APP doodle where you can go and cut your friends out of your life by sending them messages about when they're going to be available and then never being available at the same time. Somehow that's your idea it's Tara Mine. Of My idea. Okay and this episode is brought to you by small mice the size of ketchup packets. Don't squeeze art. The. Delicious. On September eleventh two, thousand, one, the world changed, but there were warning signs, but it's always easy hindsight to say it's a big mistake. I'm Jim O'Grady. I'm a reporter in the WNYC newsroom and I'll be revisiting the evidence to understand why we didn't see it coming I said, I, told you his best coming back blind spot the road to nine eleven a new podcast series from history and WNYC studios. Listen wherever you get your podcast, Tom would soon other questions from Carolina. Okay, Carolina asks. Your hand can Taha I just kind of choked on a bit of apple when I cost it out part of its shot deep into my nose. The physics of this doesn't work your nose is above your mouth yeah, e.. Like pressure as in, did it come out of them mouth and then go up? In the. Back. there. Okay. I'm with you. Coughed, out. Your, mouth. The Wall. No now from the inside. I coughed a part of the shot deep into my nose when I sneezed because, of course. Apple in your nose you sneeze when I sneezed sneezed out. This isn't a question so far, but it is. It is a good story. It felt weird. Just needs out a foreign object, but then I wondered. Did feel really weird. Sometimes I have a really big booger and I'm like, wow, that went all the way up. To the question. Straight from the question. I was hooking. You stop reading just staring at me and I was like, wow, he really memorized this question. Sorry Carolina. continues. Then I wondered, is this a foreign object and if so what do I normally sneeze is not me so technically does not have my DNA but also is not me and is me in Snot, Gazoo tight. Carolina. Who says you almost definitely pronounce that wrong I'm Uruguay an associate Caroliina my bad you're right I did pronounce it wrong. Thank you. So? It's not you you know you know about. Biology at all. Got One hundred percent in the LAS biology tested your. Yeah. You got. Biology has one hundred percent an older. My Science Jesus is everybody every British person who has the podcast just grown and was like this guy? The. Okay. But okay. Also see the lost question where we did some science, right? Who None of us did well. Okay I think not snow does have your DNA. Sure. But not because it's not as made of your cells because it's just scraping against cells. Yes. Just got some cells in. Yeah. Your spirit has like this table has my DNA on it. Yeah. Just table isn't me just like this table has some cells on it because because there's some batteries on the table. Well now now, everyone's back on your side. But I don't think it is you know because you as a philosophical. of right. My hand isn't even main the url you'll consciousness just the story I tell about myself. Yeah. That's how I feel about myself. So it's really about the story you're telling in the story you tell yourself Caroliina are you? You're not the only you can answer that question and what is the you that is answering that question? Is it your snot that thinks that you're not as you or is it? You can enact case? Are you? You're not at what is you in this case which is yeah I think that's what the soldier boy song was about you. Do you. Like that, he really pondered over he was like Oh man you. Can't quote any more of that solar song because did tie rest of it's pretty. Yeah, the apple is not you. We can say that definitively yes I like my spits not really me but also like are my fingernails me. Yeah things that army but I really feel my face is me do you feel like you faces you I think that my body is me I think my eyeballs early. Kind part of your brain. Yeah. I I guess because I don't like calm conceptualize my brain. I. Feel like. My eyeballs. Oh. Your brain isn't even you? Yeah. I don't know I don't know about. I'm looking at now like I'm looking at you right now I'm kind of upset. I've just it's become very easy for me to imagine you as just a pair of eyeballs floating in space. Yeah? I feel like my eyes alike but they still have lids just to be clear in my. mind. No I think filling is our part of the islands are part of the. Package because they're express which expression as I guess. Yeah. So do you ever see yourself in the mirror and do you have mayors and your life in my life? Yes. So you would look into the mirror and you would say there, I, am me there i. The chew is I look at myself. I didn't think I recognize it does me I'm like I think that might make you a little unusual. Just guest. Suite at Taha, he's Ad Talk Con. Cohn stop stopped. On Stop? Hey Hate Jay S. T. O. P. M. E. One last question Taha before we go. Are you ready I'm ready. Are you said the guest sending? Yeah, coin of This last question comes from Rana who asks deer hanging Tahoe my co worker has a star fruit tree and he keeps bringing a lot of star fruit. They're not particularly tasty, but we hate to waste food so far my other CO worker made Chutney with the star fruit and it was pretty good. What else can we do with a lot of star fruit. The Piranha Rana. So star fruit. I've had star fruit before and I agree that I didn't love it I. Don't know if I just had bad star fruit but I didn't find it appealing I this is so this to me bringing in subpar produce is is a is a workplace negative. When you're like, bring it into the office and be like everyone experience the slow demise of this cucumber with make I didn't I didn't think it was good enough to let it die alone with only me watching I wanted to subject everyone to that experience and so I think that your co worker needs to understand that maybe unless he's a big fan of star fruit or know some people who are that these star fruit are the equivalent of ACORNS, which is the day just go to the ground and they've all there, and then that that's that's not is it waist now? Really 'cause it wasn't like part of the food industrial system that creates. Consumes a lot of water and of energy it was just it's just a tree, the house. Now you're replacing something that might if you are eating star fruit instead of something else but I, as far as the food waste problem goes I, try not to worry about this too much. But I guess that might be because my many of a plum tree and I just walk over a lot of plums. There's so many plums it's. I mean I, eat them I eat some of them. But like this just too many homes. Appealing? I'm GonNa assignment this particular situations I have eaten the plums that were on my neighbor's tree. Do they did they did yeah and they were not probably saving for anything because there are too many plums. Yeah. What's what's stopping you from just taking them all and making them into compost? Yeah, I mean. That's also fine. You should be like odd. These somebody's gotTA compost heap to make compost with you do that not everybody has space for a compost Oh. Yeah. That's true. You pump more trees the the ad, make new star fruit and be like Oh God now problem someone else's. Heart shaped like stars. That's really good. So in conclusion in conclusion. The frame of the of the solution that you've presented by presenting alternative options to your co worker such as. Stop It. Leave US alone. I do not need more responsibility in my life. I am all I already have a great deal of that and I do not need to feel as if it is my job to handle the the final step of this tree's reproductive process. Exactly. Thank you for making the podcast with me. Thank you for having me. You can find on twitter at cons and stop. Me K. H. A. N., S. PM and on Tiktok at same thing Kgan. STF. And also on Youtube, which should have videos sometimes, there's on videos they're. US His there there's one of us don't. I'm with that was fun. Fun This podcast is produced by Roseana Halse Rohatyn Sheridan Gibson. It's edited by Joseph Tuna. Amend the music. You're hearing now and at the beginning of the podcast is by the Great GonNa Roll Up, and as they say in our hometown start forget to be awesome.

Coming up next