S2 E19: Julian Assange, Tiger Woods, Cher, Sanctuary Cities and more!

Automatic TRANSCRIPT

This is Dennis Miller option, your source of opinion stories in laughs from comedian and inactive est Dennis Miller and his guy Friday, Christian Blat, what's up Hiroshi? Let's light this candle who, ladies and gentlemen. Dennis miller. Hey, folks, welcome to the Dennis Miller option, obviously, it's Monday horrific day here as you look at what's happening in Paris. I always restricted here into that admonition at Vittoria to seek a gave to sa- feeler n she was staying somewhere on central park south. That's a moot point. But and her jewels were robbed from a room, and she called her mentor Yoda ide- fix patriarchal figure Vittorio to seek o- sobbing about the loss. And he admonished her and said don't cry about things that can't cry about you. This is probably as close as you can get to that though, obviously nine eleven when the buildings fell you knew what our loss of life at represented not the most horrific of memories this one I have not been following completely because I was out but listening to it on the radio, and I think there's no loss of life. Thank god. But this would test that theorem about don't cry for things to can't cry for such a. Amazing building in the middle of. An amazing city. Lost in a lot of its safety and beauty in the last few years due to man's inhumanity to man, and then to lose this. Hub in the hub-and-spoke cultural center of an unbelievable. So. It's I know like I said, it's kind of odd when something hits you with a left hook because I would think ordinarily architect buildings. I guess it's more about the history and all the things that have happened and all the things that it has survived. You know, the Han. Yeah. I mean, I it's just to to see it. Go dad is unsettling law on not as much beauty in the world as there used to be or indeed we've gotten so pie post about everything that were chided for maybe immersing ourselves in just the beauty of surroundings. So when you see this happen in shake show. Little you think. Wow. Didn't know that was in there. But. We'll we'll keep an can keep an eye on. So I didn't even know what I'm saying. Yeah. These are moments that remind you when you try to be wise, and this is what social media is about all that. I just happened to be doing the podcast today. Yeah. He was them in the moment is a very rare gift. And I'm I'm not sure that we all shouldn't just zip it. So I'll move on with the the podcast, noting the irony, of course that the. In. In the same wing that the mayor of south bend, Indiana, Notre Dame. Odd name like, but a witch or whatever announces he's running. It's a big Notre Dame has bubbled up in the cultural and worldwide zeitgeist for the the week with some interesting and in this case, devastating happenings. All right. What else is up Christian? How are you? I'm doing quite well, not right now Christian not right, please. Don't jump in trying. I heard Trump right away this morning say, hey, get some planes over it, not there is a builder there. You know, I- living out here in California and seeing the fires and seeing these planes come in low and drop the I guess it's a tough call, and they probably don't have planes hanging around, you know, where they can suck a hose into the Seine and put this out from above. But you have you been in Notre Dame Christiano? Yeah. It's it's been a while. But yeah, I've I have been crisis shortage. You are the ceiling must look really high. But even to me strapping man that that's a high ceiling. You're not gonna get it from down low. And so I immediately heard Trump say get those planes and start dropping water, and you thought well that would work. I see it's not happening. But then again, as I said, they probably don't have access to that. And it's probably this thing seemed to have started two hours ago and now. I was out eating chicken at the Santa Barbara chicken ranch. And I got it back in the car. And it said the spy has the spire fallen that is what I saw on drudge. Well, there you go, and it's an odd thing to see because for it to happen. I think it's eight hundred years to build the thing. I don't know how old it is. But let's say old and to be there on the day that it comes down as must be like the cats who are on the camel or something touring the Spinks today. The nose fell off you you of them. I get that big nose. Well, yeah. But she looks cells now that she doesn't have that huge knows or is fair. Con said the the nose was Farrakhan's feeling is the nose was an African nosy. It was chiseled off by Napoleon. Yes. Always remember these events that are like a micro second in history of the planet eons of the planet. It does literally happen to somebody someday. You know, there was a guy walking around. He probably had a for cod piece on and it just. Yeah. Knocked over a small raptor was roasting it and the fucking meteor hit your thinking, you know, the guy sitting there humming. What would eventually become lovely day lovely day loved that day. A little meet a little Mead kids are safe in the cave. All of a sudden, whatever they say ruined the dinosaurs hits. And using like, are you kidding me? I'm here for this day, really? So we've gone from us looking up dinosaurs one day thinking Christ who's gonna ever Trump them or so big no rule the world forever. And then the next day, they're all gone and somehow like a neutron bomb. You anybody covered in for pieces safe Illich up, and there's just a big skeleton. I gue- Christ someone on the museum people will be coming to get them. While you know that it was caused by a by dietitian. Now slab on your end because I'm pissed about this building. What were you going to say because? Dinosaurs died out because of dinosaur made global warming. Oh christ. You're right grand. Think about how much aerosols fat. If a how far it is feared what a T. Rex was an empty NADA. Just ma'am. Blow when your to pay off? Oh, maybe that's drastic park for well. We're actually Korea. We're already up to drastic park five. So you're you're thinking six Liz, you madness all the get the code off damn at wish we could see that Jesus. Did you ever tried to drive and get something off a coat got the world's easiest coat to get off? All of a sudden, I'm Harry Houdini upside down in the Chicago river, you know, in chain, mesh world's Iraqi place right now her we just to privy to it. And I sometimes talk myself down off the ledge by doing that. That there's you know, this is her find this heartbreaking just this loss of this thing. And here's the thing about it. Obviously. When there's no loss of life. You get over it easier. Yeah. Sure. It'll be a couple of days. But in the moment, you're just stunned. But there so. Little true beauty left. The neural. Did I find it unsettling, and that's the prizes me. What was I saying before that does something about my coat? I couldn't get my and get it off. Yeah. Yeah. Well, we've got a new sponsor Roman. You can get it. All. You might not get your goal. Union. Are terrible about talking about their health Christian. Whether it's a knee injury. Bad back something worse. Yeah. Like, this guys are usually more comfortable rubbing some dirt on it than seeing a doctor. Guilty of it myself. Chris you remember when you and I suffered a few years ago in the while they called her the white glove ten tour, and we're up all night dipping our hands deeply into the slurry. That is the Tigris in your frady, delta, just rubbing it all over each ourself. Ourselves south. Yeah. Come on. Let's say is true for this one. Studies show that. Quite high made that leap, but I'm sure it was assisted by Roman. Studies show. Seventy percent of guys who experience add don't oh e de sorry in a whole different tack on us guys who experienced he d- don't get treated for. It thankfully, Roman created an easy way to get checked out by Dr get treated for ED online Roman one stop shop. We can chat with licensed US physician who can treat ED and if safe and appropriate ship medication right to your door. I listen, I've had hair plugs. I talk a way about the. But I think this is invented by eighteen year old kid, and you're an eighteen year old kid, you're not going in any room. We have to check in with like a forty year old receptionist to get treated. So this is a beautiful for you right with Roman there. No waiting rooms. No awkward face to face conversations, like anybody's looking at each other in an e d waiting room. I remember one time I was sitting around. I was getting a colonoscopy and they had five. A sitting in a room and backless paper schmucks. Like eight in the morning. We're all sitting there and singing this is like if if enclosing Connors of the third kind the alien said requested we send over some losers. It's like a study what a loser in our world. In our world. The we would have been five guys, you know, Melinda. Dylan's kid comes running off and all the pilots were lost in the Bermuda. Triangle, and the, you know, the head alien who is doing that sorta dance the serial stand up he didn't Halian looked likely half inflated Dilbert loan outside the car dealership. One Toyota son was on. But he actually speaks for the first time instead of dealing in harmonica and just as we get our I can losers. We're gonna split we want to get home and study them when we're comparing this trip in rectal probes on losers versus cool guys. So we'd like to get on that right away. I know we've got a bad job here. We're like g fives. We're trying to get up to Jiwon and we've got a scope few hick assholes. With Roman there. No waiting rooms on accord face to face conversations are uncomfortable trips to the pharmacy. You can handle everything discreetly online all you have to do as visit get Roman dot com slash Miller. And that's for Roman. Of course, that's all caps. Complete an online visit chat with a doctor hopefully about the, but if he wants to talk fishing, you go, and he's got the he's got the script pad, and if the doctors I just said these so many times in our own, and if the doctor decides it would be safe inappropriate, they'll ship genuine medication right to your door in discrete unmarked packaging guys gone line. Get checked by the doctor erectile dysfunction, the problem that guys don't tackle. But with Roman. It's really simple. So take care of it for free online. Visit we got to lose it's free. Even if you don't have e d go talk to the guy about it. Go to get Roman dot com slash Miller. That's get Roman dot com slash Miller for free online. Visit get Roman dot com slash Miller. Let's me I read for the company Christian would it? What do you make of their ironically maiden would? I think that you know, you stuck to. The copy points. You were a pro. And you put in a little of that well known Dennis Miller personality that they? It was delivered are Christ. It's night in Paris. Now, they've got this thing. Silhouetted feel like I'm going to table read for les. Mis look at unbelievable. What else has happened in north at the turn class? Again. I wanted to I wanted to hear all about that sit down sit get over here cozy up, and you do let me rub that little Adam's apple years and give you some Kibble Guinea, I'll tell you coming. I K. Oh, my NIA was was hurting a little from hiking so much. I wish I had some sort of a it's my foot act. I wish I had some sort of Simeon shore up at is that I could delineate my problems too. I'm not sure if it's planner fascia Anderson just some sort of bunion thing. But I've got this or pain running down what eventually because my Kili tendon and takes that up to my well, apparently, my my general area, and I've pulled something in my foot. And it's given me d who can I talk about it? Can I get a prognosis who thank you? Dr. It has to watch these things. Erotic too weird. We still always our show our radio shows medical consult with someone we call chimp dog, and we would read these long extrapolate of series of symptoms and let and look for him to pro in Christian has never uttered anything as Dr save the simple two syllable. Grunt of? Who? I always always have to correct you a chimp doctor just travels with me and whenever he's called upon. We always turn on. And he speaks to an Lou of actually ever getting cast than anything. This is this fucking game that your acting class. It's Clark Kent some alley in Venice. He works for the daily planet. Read the liner notes. Quad your Fenian now. You were going to tell us about. Okay. So I come out of the box on Friday night at poolside at the Roosevelt hotel with my friend Ileana Douglas introducing the opposite sex, and I'm okay. But I didn't I'm always nervous on the first night. And then I actually GAC a fact halfway through Christ. I'd watched all the films together and lapsed over a musical number from buck privates, which is a black and white film with the Abbas Stelo somehow lapsed that over to technicolor classic with June Allyson Joan Collins. So there you go good ambient or good the night before big. But anyway, it went well, and I just sort of blew through it, and I hadn't confessed the sin until right now. But I have to you know, it's like telling us shrink something, you know, you tell you shrink your worst fear, apprehension rethought. You've ever had because. Yeah, my nine fifteen husband, and then you're healed. Letting the next morning was by my fav-. Well, both the next is things were my favorite. I met Barbara rush. And introduced when worlds collide on Saturday mornings. She's ninety two come last now and look at lady and we had great time together, very sweet and her daughters. Claudia Cohen who I see on FOX always in the field in front of a fire on and then last night introduced buck. Privates was Eddie Muller moderating. Ellen's why bell? And I the great Allens. What bell, and we laughed our asses off. And they asked us to pose for duo picture. And I put my arm around him. He had his hand on his hip. His what are you fucking wind Verdon? It was like a man. And we laughed, but I want to thank my friend. Suzanne is does a pay to over there. She is the one who brought me into the full very sweet me, and it's been two years running now. And I have a great time over there. Viva's a paid. I think in Viva Zapata. Brando and Anthony Clinton there. You look that up Christian. I do believe Anthony Quinn might play his brother something. And I think I've heard a story. I don't know if it's a pocket full. But Anthony Clinton goes on the road with streetcar after Brando immortalizes the role and to get them in there cranky scenes together. 'cause then Saidles up to brand on says I thought Quinn was better than. It's that fought simple. Not only. Sorry. Not only. Anthony Quinn in Viva Zapata. He won an Academy Award for it. Oh my God. Brando once he won his you get one. Yeah. I remember when I got my first one for boys town where I put lemme pre being made famous by motor heads lead singer. But I played a young kid is sort of a grease monkey named. Lemme a worked on imaginary cars because the orphanage was broke. Lemon. My I ask you were robbed when you were not nominated for madhouse. Man. Just like a vad haircut. Walk get out of that movie talk. But you're saying. Hey, you got to get work. What what what are you saying? There's my career fields the exposition eunuch and every get fucked. Never conquer anything. I never broaden out. Just I come in when they're plot points. They can't figure out yet. Say jesus. Oh my God. I've never never at my more literate than what I'm the secreting minds. What does this Boeing seven thirty seven max? Oh, yeah. I think they're canceling all those flights. They should because it wrecks a couple times in a week fucking do hire a PR firm. It's not like Mark Furman. It's fucking jet. Wait until the third time. Dennis. What's the rush? Why are you got his Lindsey are you what does that voice? We're waiting to Thais thought Lindsey getting ballsy here with a comment or something. It was that you that was me. What are you a ca- strato? It's because I haven't taken my Roman yet today. Mr. Ed, hey, they ought to do a series of ads with a horse is. Mr. he day. Horses a horse. Of course, if I give it an erection in its. The only way the same as mystery Andy harshness horse of going. Of course, you have them election. He'll win cook. All right to sprain. Storm spit balling. We're having fun. What do we did it at Christopher guest? We don't I wanted to know if you were all T Cmdr out or did you get a chance to see any of tiger yesterday. Oh, please. Yes. Of course, and exhilarating. God. What an up and down. You know triumphant moment for tiger today's devastation. The world is a quirky life is the world quirky plays. There's life quirky place. Do you think you should be able to bulldoze through things like today Christian? There's an interesting question if we were to cocktail party. I'd asked you that. And then turn my back on you and ask for the ams and the green beans, but I'd I say to you should how much should you or not at all be devastated when you turn on the news and a old church in Paris's burning because I know it rocked me and made me sad. Do you think they're bunch of? People out there who just blowing through it. Or do you think it's saddening to most? I mean, I've seen a lot of people writing about it on Twitter. You know that are saying a lot of things like they just they more. Like, I can't believe it. You know, you know, the a lot of like in the world's the. The idea that the world's a crazy place is sort of what you're saying. You know, I'm just seeing a lot of people that they're just kind of an odd that it's happening. And I think I think that it's the appropriate reaction for today. Maybe for tomorrow, I think by Thursday, you can't get out of bed at maybe maybe that's taking to heart. All right. That's a good talk. Do you think you get dim munition of the culture is best exemplified by the fact that this church took over eight hundred years too? Build and as it crumbles. It's encapsulated in an art form that has big move was going from one hundred forty two two hundred forty. Did you do you? Do you think it's a what would that be an allegory or a simplification? What's the word for that? There's somewhere that it would be. I think I usually I usually use allegory wrong. So I'm looking that. We're not before I say, that's right. A story. Palmer picture that can be interpreted to reveal a hidden. Meaning typically when we know that there's no way, it's all you big, man. Not funny that there's that magical definition for allegory. And then Al Gore means what he fucking kidding me. Well, the planet fever. What does Al Gore and allegory? This is odd that you're Al Gore. All algorithm. No allegory there. That's his problem. See what I did? There is that a new one. I want you to some mud. See you have to write that down and get some mug from now river rub rub it on my. My well, what's passing as a body, Al Gore? Good talkers. Well, I think this is a great time to go. Tell people that Dennis will be performing April twenty-sixth at fog is bring this joke. Yes. I think that that'll kill and FOX. What are you kidding me? You think if I went up on stage and said, hey, folks, where everybody else is saying what part of the chicken isn't mcnugget that I'm going to go and say, you know, what it is with Al Gore. Don't much algorithm. Not all the gory. Don't start with it. You gotta get you. Gotta work it in. I'm sure you've got a procreate point. I've seen the special you can fit it in their watch that special by the way, folks, it's called real news faked or fake news real jokes. And you can find it on Amazon prime, and I believe you can still buy it on I tunes and all those good places to. I know it's bothering me me is it you were reading some have. We finished the ads because I get assault. Tickets. Was folks come on how much the tickets, I'm at Foxwoods that are on three other places that are oddly interconnected name-wise, I think of it the Finian's rainbow Cup. I know something you have the chevalier theater mass. It's April twenty-seventh the paramount theater in Austin may first caboose called a kabuki. Right. Well now because that's Arlington, Texas may ten insurance producer. Oh, Kaba buoy. Yeah. Yeah. I just didn't see it covered. All right. It's I didn't know that was in your wheelhouse. Come on like, you said two days later, if you can't give out of bed about church fire that joke for one second air funny, bone fine. But don't go back in non still be laughing. Hey slapped you. And then Kabu that's in Arlington, Texas may tenth may eighteenth. At the Saint George seater on Staten Island, and I didn't know about this one until just the other day may thirty first the IP casino resort in Biloxi Mississippi. Wow, that's enough funny because I'm currently reading Yellow River boy IP daily. We used to do the joke in grade schools, and I wanna I joke. Schober learn. Yeah, I'm rooting Yellow River by IP daily. Unfortunately, I did that on my last Leno ended my relationship, but he doesn't have the show anymore. So like he'd go on the car show. It's fine. Actually, I'd love to see you on his car. So I would too we had an idea for a while. But then more famous people had idea. Oh, yeah. I wasn't on me. If I wanted to do. Michael musters moped show. Step up. What else is up in the world? We haven't emailed. And we want to talk about anything in particular. Oh, I had something pissed me off. But good. You leave me on a few things play. We had asked the question of people wanted interview shows and I- Lindsey was nice enough semi some of the Jimmy Connors thing. Thank you, folks. So I guess we have to do the long format once in a while. But should we do it with just sports players or should I call Joni MAC, I think Johnny Mack would be it would be a great long form guest. I know we had him on the radio show. I think that you know, maybe some current athletes maybe like eight minutes in. I think it depends on who you're looking at talk to Stomas in New York. I went to twenty one with John we had dinner sitting right next to the JJ hunt sicker booth. And I John I can't tell you. What thrill this is for me to be in twenty one? I loved that movie so much and I've seen it in so many movies, and he's there. Yeah. You want to see the best thing in kidding in twenty. He takes me over and as a racket he fractured at the US Open hanging from the ceiling. Smashed and his what's the backstory said bad call. Is work. So we do have a few voicemails on your inquiry about guests. The first would be read from Atlanta. Love your work even loved your role in Joe de well, I thought you made the movie. Hey this morning. Christians a surf Ron I'm burrowed is soon as I heard that voice. I'm like, wait. But I don't think that's gene, his phone doesn't sound that. Good. Nice. Sounds like a Paul HOGAN embryo what? Yes. To the fact that you should do into use really enjoy them and hold on for a second. I think that's why Linda Kozlowski backed out of the relationship. That's that's what crock began the son like to her. You know, I was like nails on a chalkboard. Play play the fucking Kate. Can you hear reg from Atlanta now of being constructive? Auto fo the following suggestions Dmitri molten Mike Myers. Michael caine? Christopher guest. John Anderson the singer from yes who has a new solo album out and Charro because who can't do coochie coochie. Anyway, I go to go 'cause I have to download the app comb because I do everything you told me to. I like that last or somebody. We know. Yeah. But it's it's not, gene. So I can't figure out who it is not somebody. We know you might change. Except about the com thing. Yeah. Listen, wh where Dekom comrades. Go was doing Comrie. Not today. Why isn't their thing? Com dot com is not there could you build a whole campaign about that website. Dot com. I mean, it should be it. Let me hear this. Again. There's a clue in here is possible. This is rob large. No, he he has a I I know his voice a little bit better. But the when he says, Michael Cain. I'm like, oh, he's doing a Michael Caine impression. So whoever this is. Bro, breaker Mirant tied in a chair cheer this again. Love your work even loved your role in Joe dirt. While I fought you made the movie I want to give a definitive. Yes. To the fact that you should do interviews. I really enjoy them and things are great. And in the spirit of being constructive. Auto fo the following suggestions Dmitri molten Mike Myers. Michael caine? Christopher guest. John Anderson the singer from yes who has a new solo album out and Charro because who can't do coochie coochie. Anyway, I'll go to go because I have to download the app comb because I do everything you tell me to just figured out who it is. John Anderson from you. What's thing is not like we? What else? Doraville. This something like that. For like a millisecond. I just I donate my. So I go and love myself too much. Why can't I find that the that mid mean point Christian where I'm not mean? I went just from thinking I'll dentist his yak yak yak to let's John Anderson, and I weighed loved myself, but you should you need to love your son. I I would just like to find a nice place. A calm place is still alive. That's a great question. I actually don't know she old and crumbly I'm in in by my SARS. She was she was still hot, you know, say I was leading. So do you think I I do think I'm over here saying she must be old and crumbly and thin. Have you interject there to wait for second? Hand me say, I think she's now called Charro. Well, that clearly what do you think I'm saying crumbly thin for look I don't not to lead Charro eighty percent of the time. I don't know what you're talking about. So I was just as long for the ride anytime you go to a place where it's hot. They're always selling those things right before you get on some ride to goes around in circles and Giro's, I think trolls the most up chucked food and the history and the end, of course, is my guess there you go. What do you think food has been which food? Do you think of the course of the man's time on earth has been up chucked the most funnel? Can't would be your guess. Definitely funnel cake. Phone king. Yeah. Some right because carnivals. Yeah. I'm just trying to think something else that would be what would you eat wings. Maybe sure. Those with drinking. I'm going to say wings are fun pay. And I think you were an improv troupe called wings or funnel cake, who's accent, wings and funnel cake. Because. Jello. Gimme a film genre. Peckinpah? I was wings and everybody else was funnel cake. I was the beauty of it. But then they put me on the cover of Rolling Stone and the rest of them weren't. And it was all over is this the little man, I breastfed. I hope not. We have two more Trump has Pelosi and Schumer over the White House for dinner. You see look on his face when Schumer had to preach. You her food put it in I drop room to stir squeezing it down her beak like Bobby Stroud on the rock and Birdman. Aren't we all really inside the part? We don't show to each other just wet little rans. Palmera? You shared it with them. What else we let's do two more of these calls on guests? And then we're looking at some things in the news Dave from San Diego this month. You know, interview topic? I like good interviews the one with Connors was wonderful. Some other interviews may not be as great I prefer to hear just you. All right. So he likes good in getting thought he was being a little taken too seriously. But at the end, that's most brilliant single point. I've ever heard of you make it was a little stick with that brother. He was coughing you ever want to come in here and sit in your welcome to soon as Christian clears you with his local cop friend. Did he takes care of him and Christian? Didn't you meet him? Weren't you in some sort of a spin art class without Cowlings, and he hit you to some cop that takes care of. Yeah. Because you know, AC, obviously he has pretty Dave Rolodex, especially with the boys in blue. And that's why that Bronco. Chase was just so crazy. They were listed that. You'll see we know you roll that is a trove that Bronco cross country. And he's a lobby is now in our days capital. You find a plaque out a door? The thing. We didn't realize that day is that he was driving that white Bronco straight into our hearts. We'll be right back. This is star. This. Give me the third. This is the third one Tom from Chicago. A quick question of listeners. Do they do we prefer guess or guess, hey, you know, what it's your show? Do what you wanna do when you have your friends like Anna Karbi, it's fantastic. And it was just you the last couple of shows you've been risen laugh so hard. I think I think I need myself. Have you heard of Roman, sir? Exactly. And wasn't he in the Trump member? Alexa, play Trump's in Moscow. And he wants to get you know, he wants to do something sexy. So he goes a couple of hookers over for Minsk and ask them to piss on his bed. And that's why you get across the world. God forbid, you hire the most beautiful woman in Moscow or something and make love to her. No, no, no, go into the suburbs. Let's find a couple of weak bladder wenches and having pee on the thing. I'm gonna sleep on. Really? That's yeah. So you're billionaire you're alone in Russia without and that's what you're you're angling for. News wise, I wanted to get your thoughts on Julian Assange. I don't know much about that cap, but I can imagine that room stank. Yeah. I mean, if you just his beard freaked me out, you know, you've got the Letterman beard. Maybe we'll Amati has to be carried out was there. Saturday gesture than that. It looks like he's being carried out but eight guys and his thinking Christ. Can you just get up and walk? What statement are you making here right now and? You know? I just remember every thought I had was wait a second. Pammy Anderson ends up with this again Indian, and Brooke Burke closes David Charvet. What's wrong? Ron this. Yeah. What what's what's his deal? Released secrets that put people in harm's way way. Right. But but the big one that got him out. Did was you you take the Guevara Ecuador? Yeah. And you have them in bed with lobster. And you take a photo release that he's just eating it. He's not fucking the lobster in case know. But it's just that per se. All these, you know, it's like Bernie Sanders. The you know, these cats who always are decrying the wealthy. It's the only way they could get wealthy using Bernie Sanders. You you see what a moron is? You think at age twenty? He looked in the mirror and said, yeah, I'm going to become a millionaire and you see him so fucking. I had lacked charisma so much. I'm such a shit head the only way I'm ever going to become a millionaire as by insisting people shouldn't become millionaires. I know it's an inside straight. I know I gotta draw to on the river. But that's all I got because I can't go out there with this piece of shit presentation. I have become a millionaire when you can't be a runner for the general store, and you know, Birmingham coat factory or something. So. Isn't there? A coke factor. Him somewhere in Arlington. Yes. Burlington now Birmingham. Well, that's that's the that's the British offshoot the Birmingham factory. I think the guys from iron maiden earlier. Yeah. Yeah. I can't believe we followed the threat. But anyway, he's a jerk off he's savvy enough to realize that there's a great, hey to be made these days convincing young people that they don't need money to be truly wealthy. And there's a fortune to be made off that. And that's only did the preaching the mantra of subsidize self reliance writing is ninety five theses Mark done a ninety four ninety nine in his third house, the one on the lake get outta here. You Jag off. He he's such a socialist. He's Komen it over from somebody else's head. Not much. I tried. I didn't quite heavily. But you see what I mean? But you know, you can't make those socialist jokes too on the nose because they get tired. That's true. Yeah. It's like for how many years Christian were you with me before you had to come you appeared like an apparition in some sort of Vietnamese spin fuck chair over my bed one night with a Buford pus or stick thrashing me and say every time we talk about a dog. You don't have to say seven to one we get it dog years are seven you don't have to take Rin tin. Tin salary and make it seven to one that up. Give me some oh, what was pissing me off? Oh, no, listen, I know it c- hypocritical world. And I know that critical thinking been. Replaced by hypocritical thing which is critical hypocritical linking. But for God's sakes. It can you believe a more blatant example of it, then sanctuary cities begging for illegals to come to them. Trump gets in the middle and says, yeah, it sounds like a plant every checks every box. You want them? They're big cities that can take them in. We've been sending him under Obama out to places like. Lewiston Maine where I believe of heretofore the biggest. The biggest sham that had happened. There was Sonny liston going down from the phantom. I leap punch many years ago. Was it lewiston Maine? But you know, it's okay to dump them there. But putting them in a big city. Now people I see share this morning. My city can't take anyone. I'm thinking does anybody over there killing anybody just squelched there white hot hate of Trump for millisecond and see what a bad look that is too in the same breath lay claim to being a sanctuary city and saying please come here. We'll take care of you. Somebody gets in the middle expediting that. And you say that he's being countless. I mean Christ is there. No end to the do as I say, not as I do not my back anything you wanna call it. Somebody's gotta throw up a flare over there and say, you know, I always thought it would be the the private jets to the global warming festivals or Dabo's now they just bulldozed through that never saw. But for God's sakes, when you stab list that you're a sanctuary city in its you're very it's the the strength of your community. And then somebody like I said gets in the middle of that and brings them on buses to you that you blanche and say that it's bad form. I mean, come on. There's gotta be some limit over there. You're losing the thread, you're losing most of the country. I think you're probably starting to lose some people are predisposed to be liberal, although it's such a ostracized country. Right. And I don't know that there's many of them but say there's ten seven of a must hear that and go we have been sent send them here. It's it's unbelievably frustrating. And it's what makes me think, you know. I'm a fatalist about this, folks. I I don't know what this country will eventually become I won't even say devolved to that's insinuates. I think it will devolve. There's something happening. It's it's like me trying to figure out, you know, a hedge fund managers divorce. I don't know who's going to get all the art this country. Splitting up. We're in the early stages of that. I don't know if it'll turn into something nineteen twenty nine eighteen sixty one nobody can predict that. But let's face facts. If we don't have that in common that almost everybody uniform late can say, yes, we are the sanctuary city, and we want them here. And somebody says we'll send them there. And then they say don't send them here. You're callous that. They've reached critical bullshit bass come on. Now, if I did something like that. I swear to God. I'd copped you over here. I'm trying to think what I I h-. Have copped over the years to be missing the point on things. And that's all it takes. If we're in a he'll up. Thank god. I was at the film festival this weekend. Allnutt stopped drops to the side. You know, you watch old movies. And maybe that's where we should meet up, and he'll TC 'em because those old movies, the pre Pri ironic, and you know, pre malevolence and pre you must think like me or we're not in this thing together. All that stuff. Is it doesn't exist at that point? You know when Patty Andrews breaks out and the song right in the middle of a mess hall. Nobody even looks up because they just a smile. It's. Well, you know, that's what we should strive for house about that right now, I'm looking for a fake ending. Their don't have one nosing around for some sort of cap on that, let's just said doesn't exist. But I did find safe harbor for the weekend film festival. Thank you very much Christian. What else you got? Feed me match me Sidney keeping the film festival thing. Yes. Sidney Falco match me. There's a lot of important news stories out there. But none probably more important than this one. A man has sued his parents for eighty six thousand dollars after they destroyed his massive porn stash. Wow. I don't Hickenlooper go to porn with his mom. Well, is there anything sadder than squares? Try neck hip and going away past the point of no return. It's like you look at Hickenlooper and he's like fucking fruit loop on the back of a white cotton shirt. You know that thing. And all of a sudden, somebody says brother, you gotta hip it up kids. Don't get you. He's okay. Okay. I'll try to indicate to the kids that I'm woke I want and watched the entirety of deep throat with the mother whose uterus. I came out of. Yeah. That's it. That's a good story. Really? Is there any way you can rework it, and maybe you can crown during the break between films. So they threw out his eighty six thousand. Yeah. So who has an eighty six dollars that must be Christi Brinkley's? Well, this was a this is a Michigan man, and he moved back into his parents house after his divorce and was crushed to find that his porn collection had been dismissed. Jesus suit. You didn't find my anal trunk under the bed? Did you? Jeez. Monique as mom. The the best is that there's actually punitive damages because he says the collection was worth twenty eight thousand nine hundred and forty dollars. So he has a right down to that amount. Give me that number again, what eight thousand nine hundred and forty dollars. So he's asking for fifty seven thousand one fifty seven thousand sixty six. Yes. That's right. Involves me getting on my calculator. But it was eighty six thousand minus. This. And I said fifty six fifty seven seventy six. I see. Eighty six thousand minus and I lost that dollar amount. That's the real problem because I wanna make sure I get it. We got gotta get it. Right. Because you magic we got this hour only heard it for a millisecond later in my head eight thousand nine hundred forty and that is fifty seven thousand sixty dollars. You're right there. He was more than twelve moving boxes full of movies and two boxes of sex toys. Alner film called twelve moving boxes. I was. Terry Gilliam directed. Shall I? Go on. Munchausen? Yeah. Very disappointed that that's not what that movie was about. Christian. I always play this game where we. Give porn names to regular films. They make the porn version of it. Like this week. It would have been a number one in the film was. Oh, what do you think about? I know you're not a not a Pelosi fan. That's an understatement. But what do you think about her cold diss of AFC saying that her wing of the Democratic Party is quote like five people? I have trouble hearing wing jokes of somebody with chicken wings. Never see her sleepless. It's unfortunately. Yes. Yeah. Low flappy. So I can't. I must say. I like a good chil- shot at occasional cortex. But that one I'm telling you is joke in there somewhere, but Eos CD what what man it's not OCD is when you're constantly. Checking to see if the iron is on right? Yeah. So AO CD would be you're constantly. Checking to see the light bulb is off the where's it policy related like making sure that she's taxing us highly possible. Maybe not that. But something along those lines. We'll not we'll be great ruling bust out that unfunny show Ciro. What about the Kennedy assassination? I'm. Yes. Director, sir. Jabbering Magpies over there and have a flock out any of them. That was a that was a direct this guy again in the the guy who's bigger than his own airplane. Who has all the catheters? I mean, Jim the Sierra. Somehow he's bigger than his plane. He gets in there. And I think he uses one of those things they use a golf tournament. So there's a little periscopes because he's laying inserts the catheter. He goes up and does barrel rolls for like four hours, and he never asked to p. And then they bring him down. They throw some Kyi and slide him out of the cockpit because that is tight man. Look, he's got do you like it when you're calendar? Green package. No. Chris I used to get minor red pag it's not always been stopped to make green sends a message. Go ahead. Oh. See I'm always cautious. That's why I like the yellow catheters sample pack. I remember when I was a kid every year we'd go back to school. We bury site. We get that sliding plastic door capitalist that will box and we'd roll backing we'd have our race theories. Number lead pencils, pencil sharpener and our new gyro calf. If you wanna pe- upside down in zero gravity situation, the Giro cath is there for you. We gotta go. I think we should would you get arrested yet? Would you like another a voicemail to cleanse the palate? Somebody do we have anything where somebody hates me. Oh, we have. I don't think we I don't know if we have any of those this week. This is a week where people loved you so lame on. Okay. We'll just gonna shut show. I'm trying to shut up for as long as I'm comfortable with the love receiving here. No matter how gratuitous or how self serving it is. I'm going to try to stab a record for being on my own podcasts without talking as long as they maintain a maximum laudatory quotient. Oh, a little bad that you are so down because you didn't promote your podcast on Ben Shapiro's odd cast. So I went out and I bought some yard signs, and I put them up in my front yard to help spread the word. Now a lot of times. I'll get twelve thirteen cars go by sometimes on a good day. I'll get twenty seven twenty eight cars go by my yard. So I'm really really trying to get the word. Gosh, darn it. I just noticed. I didn't put podcast. I just have listened to Dennis Miller on the stupid sign so gonna let you go. I gotta get back to signed place. But hey, keep up the good work. Guys, cadence because it was like that old amusement park ride called the whip her at the beginning of a sentence was I gonna put something exciting. Then then I go, and then it slows down the other whips again, and he'd pick it back up. That's what I thought. Go ahead that was Doug from Illinois. And then the next one will be damned from Iowa. Bye. Forty something year old is hitting you job that I was starving. Handing over has. He starts the colleagues handing you drink. Let me put an Ascott. I think this guy's coming on pretty strong. I. Forty something year old guy. Job that I. Oftentimes dread being in there. Encouraging me to put my preferred pronouns in my Email signature, and I felt like the world was leaving me behind the nicest found your podcast and you saying it's like you're I don't know one dirty spoon away from walking into traffic. Nazi real to be there. And it was the most encouraging thing I had heard in quite some time to know that even you have days where you don't wanna be at your job. Love listening to you, by the way, you've been a lot peppier lately and encouraging as well, let's change that Jesus I felt like Lawrence luck. And Bill boys in the band. Dirty split away for walking around with love. Get a t shirt made. One dirty spoon. I got my son's for Christmas. We were talking one day. And I forget we're talking about somebody on TV and. My older son said Christie's just turned into a desiccated jerky, man. And I said, it's the greatest thing I've ever heard. I said I'm getting t shirts made up for Christmas, which was seven months out at that point. Imagine their joy when they opened their Christmas presents that morning. I had made. Turkey. It was one of those things where they their initial thing was to be weirded out by they really did this. Yeah, he's been real pleased. He's just going to do it. God, you're Europe each. But the first thing is one. Why does everybody off to fire their agents? Now, it's my wife understands it better than I do because she's an actual writer with an agency fire. Everybody has to it's part of the the guild, and as they negotiate but go be above. It's. But if you still have managers, you don't have to fire them. So it's fine. If you still have managers, they can they things differentiates between the joke that Lindsey will open up her mouth and Lomb biter bottom tongue to laugh and one like that where it's a what do you think the differences lengthy? You know, the punny says gets opened sounds so terribly sexual and when you in and Christian talk dirty to each other limb fighting all right? All right. Let makes me throw up in my mouth. So that's interesting stole money was going to be at that position. We're recording all of it. All. Anyway. So yeah. So that's an hopefully for people who have agents and wanna make money and give ten percent of it away to reach an agreement listeners not signing JJ. Yeah. He got he got called out right away of a diversion as. Well, are they not being supportive of organized labor? That is why they're being chest. I said JJ rising. I would've thought everybody was on now. Once again what what is happening with Hollywood. I know not everybody loves a tent loaded with typhus right down the street, but sanctuary city, we should be welcoming these people down there, and you know, all these Bolshevik aspirations, and then they say fire agent guys won't do it. Yeah. If you were an agent, listen, I would not keep my agent if my agent didn't call me and say just do this. And then we'll get back on the other side. Yeah. Right. Isn't that the hip agent any anybody that I that I've talked about this? That's what their agents have said. Like, look, we know you need to do this. We hope we're able to work together against the hip agent whose Jj Abrams agents that he doesn't call and say, listen, you're fucking Joan of arc. Don't die on this hill. This fire me, I work on deals when we won't talk for a week. Jay. These Billy Jack me ice cream. Parlor when I see what you lose little girl. I just go Bush buzzer. Hadn't weight your age and go ahead and beat a friend doing. It'll justify it in the end. Almost finished. How about one more bit of praise? The way out the door and house about the promise. Let me see if I was Pallone. I remember this cat was he my agent for few minutes. I was hit Lizzie note in the come FU Christian. He doesn't think I remember him telling me out and get something. And then doing a swing kick or something is one of those guys who didn't you know, some guys went sun Suu? Some guys went Bruce Lee everybody down there looking for some sort of legitimacy would take up some sort of warfare. So they were able to get on phones and scream at each other. I'll rip your shit and you're for that feeling. Yes, they all mastered. Some arts, I think Pallone was a kung FU fighter. Anyone my age? I think my brother knows. Well, they don't have to find my brother. Right. He's a manager. Right. And this is only this is only writers so actors don't have to fire their agents do this. If if they said you must and this is weird. But if they said you have to kill your eight dealing out. Would it be a fifty fifty split or dealing people? Withdraw the line and killing their agent. Well, would you only need to ninety percent kill him and let him finish himself off? Because of the ten percent ary. He probably hit the nail on the head there. But listen, you'd be better off killing your agent than getting your car keyed in the lot outside the palm. Because they'll do the they don't give a shit, but you've got a seven hundred Mamer or one of those alleys. Gavin plum. Wait a second. The allergy insignia makes me wanna watch cool runnings crazy cats from the island took up the Bob sled. Hey, that's pretty. Have that? I know that's true store debt. Russia's to get. Yeah. Ever camped out on not believing? That was not a true story. And it it in there. I know I know much much if near. We all live in furniture galley why I'm going to go take a napkin that teacup flour. This episode is should have ended four minutes ago. All right. Thanks for listening to the Dennis Miller option exclusively on Westwood One. Dune into new episodes every Tuesday and Thursday on the Westwood One. Westwood One dot com and on podcasts and remember to rate review and share until next time. That's the show and we are out of here.

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