Danika Miller on a Special Photo and Other Signs She's Received from Her Brother
Welcome to signs from the other side with fern renee I'm your host burn roadway and this is the place to share stories of signs and messages received from the other side before we get to the show today just a quick and friendly reminder that if you would like to hear more episodes of sides from the other side please be sure to subscribe in Apple. Podcasts maybe also tell a friend thank you so much for listening onto the show two and a half weeks ago. Damage Miller shared a photo on twitter and said this is one of the very few pictures I have taken with both of my parents since my brother passed away seven years ago and look who decided to show up for the family photo. Can we all just believe that heaven is real in angels exist in the photo you can see Damacus? Mom Danika her dad and a light shine down as if to say. See this perfect spot right here. That's for me. That's where I'm standing. I'm still with you. I'm still part of this family. Tanaka's tweet was liked over. Eighty eight thousand times in re tweeted over forty seven hundred times and when I reached out to her to come on this podcast. She graciously agreed Danika. Hi How are you good? How are you thank you again so much for doing this? Absolutely I'm happy to your tweet touch so many people. I'm guessing you weren't expecting that. No not at all not at all I I really just shared it for. You know my friends and family that follow me and yeah it just blew up and I had no anticipation of that happening. It's an incredible photo. Did you notice the light right away? Yeah actually still when we were taking the picture like I said. I don't have many pictures with my mom and dad so we went to slippery rock homecoming. That's where both my brother and I went to college. And interestingly my brother actually played football for slippery rock The right before he passed so he started as a true freshman. And my family. And I've just always felt closer to him when we go there and he was older than me so I kind of followed in his footsteps after he passed and I ended up going to The Barack as well so we were there for the homecoming and I asked my friend. Can you take a picture of my parents than me? You know. We don't get pictures together? Often she was trying to take photo and as she was taking it she was like. There's a light in the picture. You guys moving down a little bit to get this laid out the picture and I was like. Yeah sure so. We actually moved and she was like it was the craziest thing it was like the light moved with. You was like y'all move down. She was like it just like followed along your dad's shoulder so Yeah so then afterwards. Yeah we took that picture and it was. Yeah it was just we looked at it and I was like I knew instantly I was just like it's like he's right there with us standing exactly where he's supposed to And just being in a place where you know we feel closer to him and we were watching his team play and they you know they always do a good job of making us feel so loved and included. It's kind of meant to be you know so I was telling you earlier that I was the I I do my research and you know you have to be a bit of an Internet Stalker so I was so far back on your instagram and I was like I'm like skinny. Show up on Thanksgiving to the family. 'cause I just love this family? Mom and dad seems to the way you write about them. It is so sweet. It's obvious that you're very close and it seems like you were so close with Derek instill a text from him one of your birthdays. That was so cute and showed your closeness. Were you very close growing up? How many years apart are you? We're three years apart but two grades Yeah so we yes. We were so close growing up. I mean I followed in his footsteps in everything that he did so like when it came to sports we were both athletes throughout our elementary junior high and high school so any sport than he would try. I would try to when his friends over. I always be running and trying to keep up with the boys you know the the most I would say. It's a blessing and a curse but we were definitely our closest right before he passed because he was twenty. I was seventeen. It was like we were getting older. We kind of grew out of that phase where you now have they buy a little bit and you know they got on each other's nerves and and my brother would constantly like play tricks on you play jokes on me and You know I was always so annoyed but yeah that was obviously like when we were in in high school and stuff but when he named away to college you know I would just like. Oh my gosh I missed him so much and he couldn't come home often because like I said he played football so Yeah but when I could see him and when he was home for that summer Right before he passed we were we were so close which is a blessing and a curse. It's such a blessing because you know either way like I got to spend that that special time with him and you know grow that bond even more before he passed but then it it almost makes it. You know even harder to have lost my best friend and brother all in one but signs have you received. I feel like I've received so many Though just like little things that you know I kind of a tribute to him would be like cardinals and stuff like that but but even like deeper than that I was on my birthday and I was. I was walking in our cafeteria getting my lunch and at slippery rock and there was nobody around me like no one around me and I felt a tap on my shoulder and I turned around and like I said there was nobody there. So what's wrong physical touch that like? I attribute it to him because there wasn't anyone around me at all. I felt the crap so strongly that I turned around to say like talking to me. He wants to say something and was going around me. It's so that it was on my birthday. Yeah exactly that's exactly what I was just GonNa say we always say on this show? You know something happens and you're like could it be and then there's always something to to validate it like it's a special date or it's it's always something like they come in twos to say like if incase. Uber wondering if is this is the confirmation. I'm wishing you a happy birthday. Yes exactly and you know. I've had dreams about him. That are just still real and I. I think I mentioned this. You know I had a lot of backlash on my tweet saying like you know. It's a ray of light it you know. It's just the glare from the camera and I'm like you know. I understand that people have their own beliefs. You know that may be different from mine but if this is what gives me peace and this is what gives me comfort. I'm going to believe it. You know it's it's how I got through and you know there's certain things that have happened to me as far as signs dreams that I don't even second guess it anymore. I'm like Oh that was him. That was definitely him. It's coral and though you know dreams that I've had of him where he just talked to me and had conversations with me about current things going on in my life and you know just letting me know that he's okay does Does it feel real like they say the difference between a dream and visit dreams kind of had that underwater feeling? And it's kind of like weird things happen and it feels like not tactile but if it's a visit it feels tactile like you could touch them. You could smell them. You could hear the yeah. Yeah and see that. I've had dreams where he wasn't speaking to me me almost like I read his mind like I knew exactly what he was telling me. Exactly what I'm saying the rather dreams where I could hear his voice fully I've given him hooks and they felt so real and so like solid and like it was no lifelike and they're just they're so comforting and I feel like in every dream. He has some kind of underlying message that he's telling me and it's just so special another thing that happened to me. This is probably one of the biggest things that had happened to. The this was two years ago I was. I woke up in the morning and was feeling very anxious about something that was going on in my life. I was sad I was missing my brother a lot and a lot of times when I'm going through something even when you know my brother was still alive. He used the person that I would talk to. 'cause WE WERE LIKE. I said Super Close and would share those things with each other so now that he's gone. I don't let that you know. Take Away I. I still talk to him when when I'm going through something and on that morning particularly I was talking to him out loud and I was like you know it's not fair that your God and I wish you were here. You know this hard for me what I was going through and I was just talking to him and letting him know that I loved him and Tim and I got him car. Probably two minutes after this and opened up my garage door and as I was backing out of my garage my sensor on my car started beeping. I looked in my rear view mirror and I saw him across the back of my car. It was seven in the morning so I saw that in my rear view mirror off. Yeah my sensor went off so I immediately looked at my backup camera and I saw a you know like a body walking past and I looked up in my rear view mirror and you know even the change of my eyes for my backup camera up to my rear view mirror. I still saw like the person so I backed the whole way out and once again there was nobody there and like I said it was seven in the morning like and nobody just walks through my front yard or to my house. You know just knowing knowing what I saw was him and I didn't see his his full face. I saw his side profile and he was like. I said he was walking. You know right past the back of my car His hands were in his pocket. He was wearing a maroon buddy gray sweatpants and he has a Maroon. Hoodie that we you know. We still have of his It works like that. Exact now has His hands were in his pocket. His hood was up and I could just see like part of his face and his hair was a little bit longer like it was when he was a junior in high school He had like longer shaggy hair. And what's weird is when I dream about him. He usually has that longer hair. Oh I mean right yeah But that's what he had was longer shaggy hair and I just knew the second that I saw him that it was him and like my heart. Just dropped my stomach and he was gone and yeah but it was just one of those things where like I didn't even second guess myself I was just like. Oh my gosh there. He is and I backed out and I was like looking for him and there is nothing else though. Yeah but that's another way of saying of him saying I'm here and I heard you and it. You know the way different signs. Come through the fact that your brother and sister and he kind of teased you growing up tap on the shoulder. This walking pass making the Sensor. Go off is these are kind of. They're kind of things brother would do to make himself known that I'm here with you. Absolutely I think another thing this is just you know. I'm not this one. I'm not so sure of but I just attributed to him. Was you know I was going through a difficult time and talking to him once again and on my drive? I saw cardinal and I was just like I was like Oh maybe maybe that same showing me as time. Because I've heard you know people Martin Luther butterflies just like attributes. These certain things but I was in such a negative mindset. That was just like you know that could have been him. But it's probably not and then I continued driving driving to the gym and when I got to the gym. I pulled up my instagram. And the first thing that popped up on my feed. Was this message. I it was from one of those like Are Drake or That rainbow salt girl. I don't know if you if you follow them. But they host these like racial close Lying it was like it was just. It was just like a written message that said like you know. I hope that you're you know you're living your life to the fullest and that you're happy I know what it's like to be sad Out My brother. I don't know if you who's gathered them from nanogram he. He passed away from suicide. So you know I know what it's like to be sad. You know I want you to be happy and live your life to the fullest like you're beautiful and like all of these things and it does. I know these words aren't coming from me. You know. I hope that you get the message type of thing and it was like. I wish I had the full like transcribed thing in front of me so that I could tell you but it was just like the timing the me being sad talking to him and it was. Just you know something that another source posted. But how it said Reich. I know these words are coming from me but I hope you received this message type. Yeah the perfect man and it was like the perfect message of like. I just want us to be happy and live your life to the fullest at a time that I was feeling very low so wa it correlated so it was me. And just like a little yeah. It's so interesting that again it was kind of two things happening like you were a huddle now. It could be couldn't be and then you got kind of this confirmation that that was speaking as if it was directly from him and I always say coins are kind of like falling in love like you just when you know you know you know that. That was him behind the car. And this message was the confirmation the cardinal speaking to you and want you to to just live. It's so interesting. After my cousin died my mom was talking to her. Kind of inner head. And she's like what he wants to do Jamie and she walked into work and there was a sign that said live. I think it said just relive that gives me chills while. Oh Yeah when you know you know when I do exactly yeah thinking. There's been many things that have you know have occurred to me over over the seventy there. Yeah these are signs Mean and now in addition to that like I've I've seen psychics. Some people believe in that some people don't and like I said I just kind of go for what gives me peace And and I feel like in that way I've received so many answers from him and Yeah because you know like I said He. He committed suicide but we didn't know he was depressed until two weeks before it happened Because he was. You know my Lee Happy. You know wants to make sure everybody else okay. Just a charming loving person And an athlete like you just never would see him not be strong and you know I feel like he put on this persona when he was struggling and my family didn't know like I said until like about two weeks before he passed that he was depressed and as soon as they found out they went and got him hope and he went on medication. And and you know from the the psychics that I've seen without giving them anything they bring up the medication They they mentioned about how you know. He says this is an accident. I didn't want to do this. You know Just not pages of things they you know they give you peace and others you know they can describe exactly how he is as a person without ever saying anything and it's just those people have such a guest can help her by other people. Peace and healing so yeah. I found the article about you from your area and it talks about how you were the recipient of the scholarship named after your brother and then they interviewed your friends. Your teammates your mom. Your Dad in everyone was quoted as saying how strong you were since your brother's passing. Did you get therapy right away? What help to be able to lift yourself because you were so young. Yeah I was so young I honestly like I just power prayer Just because I don't know how I don't know how we did it like I have no idea how I had the ability to be that strong I just knew I had to be I think that you know there were times where I had this weakness You know have my my had moments of weakness where but those are usually behind closed doors. I felt like I'm the only child now and I have to be strong for my parents and I think at the ages seventeen to I struggled with realizing that just because my parents my parents lost their son and I locked my brother and we lost the same person that losses still different for each of us because you know that their son and I didn't think I really. I don't think I realized that until I have done but you know I was just kind of forced I feel like I was forced to be strong. Not even force. No one made me just. I just felt the heated. Yeah I just felt the need to do that and I knew that that's what my brother needed from me to. Just be be Iraq. Now that he's gone and you know support my parents through that and I had friends I had friends and family who were supportive of me as well and I think that that's what helps so much. Was you know everyone lending their support? It just helps me to be strong and You know I had a lot of people sending me messages like it's okay to cry. It's okay to be weak. And you know you just never know how you're going to handle something like that. But Yeah. Like how different wacked. Yeah it is it is but I just for me you know. I never expected this to happen and I never had time to think. How am I going to act in this situation? It's it was like an autopilot. I'm GonNa be strong and what I have to do. So it was subconscious out of love for your parents almost like you had to absolutely. Yeah Yeah but I think it was to a point kind of you know strange in a way because yeah it was just like this. This odd strengths. That like you know this is still my brother and I still love him and you know and I think part of me being strong had to do with knowing how he passed not wanting to judge him for it. Yeah you know and and you even if I didn't understand it. It was just not wanting to make it look like I love them any less absolutely absolutely. It's so interesting. We don't judge people for getting cancer and and dying from that so if someone yeah like I say my father I was GONNA use my father's an example. But he has type two diabetes. No-one judges at choose to to have this issue. So no one should judge someone for yeah for for a disease of the brain and then I always say my father having type two diabetes doesn't make him acts differently but if he had a disease of the brain it would make act differently and you can by the same token you just can't judge a person for the disease that they've been unlucky enough to have inherited. Yes exactly exactly. Yeah and I heard People say that to me so many times and each time just like validates. The comfort of you know being understood because I think mental illness is such a it is there. There's such a stigma around it. That people don't like it said has such a negative connotation but like he's nuts just like cancer it's just like a heart disease diabetes. You know you can't help what you were given and tackle that it. Is You comfort when you when you think of it in that way? We've come so far but I feel like we still have so so much further to go understanding what you give to someone who loses a sibling. Because it's very different than other kinds of of loss. It is very different because I feel like some time. There's a there is something that people say about when he was a sibling. It's kind of like you're the one that's lost And the books because a lot of people focus on you know the parents losing a child and you know but as siblings you know we. We grew up. Those were our first best friends. Those were the people we you know we grew as we ran with our first friends in life and some advice that I would give and now it. It is difficult and you do have to adapt to this new normal of not having that person with you every single day and it is hard and it is challenging but I hate to say it but it really does get better and they're always with you and they're always with you Okay said there are times where I can just talk to my brother. And he'll show me that he's there and and that's what's so special and I know some people are skeptical that okay. You just have to do what you need to do for you. And not moment and find what gives you peace. And what's going to help you move forward because there's really no you know no going back. It's like this is your new reality that you have no choice but to stay said and it's so sad and it's so hard but you're gonNa make it through and just keeping memory alive keeping their you know doing what you can to honor them And always making them a part of your life like when I got married I had a seat for my brother at my wedding. And Yeah just we did all the same things we did for everybody else in our wedding and we just made sure that he had a place and I mean that was our ray honoring him and you know allowing welcoming him to be a part of it and As far as my life purpose goes I've kind of you know. My brother's passing has played such an impact on me that I'm actually going on to be a counselor for school children and mental health as well so yeah so that is like that for me is is my way of honoring him. But it's also something that I want to do. I want to be able to help people. How amazing it you know. It's interesting I look at their. You know social media so deceiving but I look at your instagram. And you've gone onto graduate college and and Mary. He seems like a great guy. He's adorable you're an adorable couple. Have Beautiful Baby. You seem to have a lot of friends you're living. You're living your best life and I feel like sometimes. When people lose a sibling they almost feel guilty having these milestones and living a good life. But I feel like you've inherently understand that that's what he wants for you yes see. I did struggle with that a lot in the beach interested. I struggled with that a lot in the beginning that you know I have to. I've been through so much since my brother has passed bars graduate in college. Getting engage getting married having a baby that has all happened for me and a man of seven years that he passed so all of those things when they happened. I know like you know when I found out I was pregnant. That was so hard on me that he's not going to be here for the men. Then I reversed the situation is. I'm not gonNA see him have a baby. I'm not going to be an aunt to his children. I'm not going to see him get married. And it is hard when you look at it that way but like you said he wouldn't want me to stop living my life because you can't and he's right there along with me. Mama journey so yeah And the thing was social media is it is so funny Social Media we definitely highlight our lives in mind. We want people to see it and I've read. I think I started struggling with image. And how am I going to carry myself because of social media after my brother passed away You know when he passed I gained so many followers on social media. People who were just curious kind of put wonder microscope of you know that's how I felt at least under a microscope of wonder how she's doing you know is she gonna be sad is she. Going to fail. Is She gonNA share this about her brother. I WanNa know you know a lot of that came and I'm not saying it didn't come from caring individual too and you just want to deport me but it could feel like. I gained a lot of attention based on that and Yeah like a semi small town and a lot of people know my family and they know my brother and my brother was like I said a well-known athlete and a popular kid and had a lot of friends and he passed all a lot of people kind of turned to me and wanted to see what my life was going to be like and I think kind of got lost in trying to uphold this image of perfect and yeah and then my other advice to you know other people who've lost siblings. You don't have to be our buddy if you don't have to be perfect and you don't have to uphold this perfect image. You know just because I went my one struggle of losing my brother. I have many more struggles than my life but sometimes social media. We just don't use to show them. Yeah our news. Yeah Yeah but social is such a great outlet though to to share about your loved ones and and you know remember them and Yes yes. See that support and feedback from from people as well so social media has also blessing and agree. I think so too I think so too. I think it helps a lot of people see like if if they lost like will. I ever be able to laugh again. Ever be able to have fun again and then they see you and like yes. It's okay to move on. I think it's I think it can give people a lot of comfort too. Yeah it has at the inbound absolutely and like you said like it it it can be a struggle. I think there were moments where I'm like. I feel so selfish for wanting to have fun especially after he passed like I. I can't laugh. I can't I can't go out with friends. It's things that you need unite laughter and it may feel audit. I because how can I last mile and such a difficult time but you need those things and you need your friends and you need your support system and you know you? Can't nobody knows how to grieve. It's so personal for everyone. I would never tell someone how to you know not to use gross examples. But this is like it's so personal. I would never tell someone how to go to the bathroom or how to have sex with their significant other. I reme- had agree. It's so personal. Exactly it is so personal and and it's a journey for everyone and some maybe longer some may take longer than others may not even choose to grieve. I know my mother asked me. You know today. New Therapy right away. No I didn't And I know my mom had said to me multiple times in those first years of like Danika unique to grief. You need degrees. You're just you're voiding. I feel like you're avoiding. You're avoiding your voiding. And she you know she hurt her then right she could have been right then. I was avoiding it. I but I don't feel like avoiding the right where it because I was still remember him and talk to him and feel him around me and you know I still cry about him behind closed doors but I think mom really felt like I wasn't grieving and you know there's been families in my area where I've seen lose their siblings and You know and I don't see them talk about their siblings and not okay like everyone has their way of dealing with it in different for everyone and yes. It's just some people's process is GonNa be longer than others and it's just about. Yeah facing and dealing with it I can though and it's interesting too that you know God forbid it. Was you know if roles were reversed? If you're on the other side in your brother were here. Don't you think you would say to him? Live your best life. I don't WanNa see you if you WANNA cry cry. Do what's right for you want you to have fun? I want you to laugh. Want you to live a great life. Yeah absolutely I I I think I can. I can tell that to anyone now. I think Having been through what I've been through and and like you said if I was on the other side of this that's what I would want as for everyone to live their best life and I feel like I've received goes messages from my brother about wanting me to live my best life and backs. That's kind of how I've been embodying. These last few years is that you know it is so important. We only get one life and you know. Hold ourselves back from anything from you know out of fear of. I don't know it's so vital for anything. Let's move forward. Live our best life and honor our loved ones as we do what I love about your tweet. In the responses there were so many people who were so it touched them and I always think God there's so many believers in the world and then there are people who don't believe someone will say you know it's just the light or whatever my response is it might be just the light. It might be the way the camera or you created it with scientifically. This is the reason that does that can exist. And it also be assigned from your brother like the two can exist and I agree with that. I agree with that because I had I had struggled so much. It's not so much but like oh my gosh I was like people can be so mean like would just miss yet is NC and there were so many nice people there and I. I loved reading every single comment. You know responding to them according me and it was so you know to feel supported until understood and and to have those people that you know even gain their own piece from seeing my photo young so you know it felt like there was a purpose for this. This was so nice but there are some people out there and and I think I did. I did struggle with not that other people believe different things like you said but you know this gives me peace. Then let me have my piece honestly and and I had mentioned it to my mom. My mom was so cute. She has a twitter but she stayed very under the radar and she was checking. She's checking like you know every hour and she would text me and be like your tweet is up to this ninety king and even though she was loving it but you know when she did see some of his negative comments like I felt so bad for them. I want them to enjoy this moment too. They're fun and they miss him and they want to. I don't want that to be taken away from them either but you know when he read some of those comments. She said the same thing that you said she was like. You know what might be true? It might be the Lens and it might be the way the lights reflecting from the camera but the way that it presented itself as a guest and you from my brother like maybe he made the sign in that way that would make the cameras the thing the cameras going to do and they're saying it's just the camera will it be yeah. Why can't it be a play? Yeah well we have that same conversation. Wow Yeah and you're I saw some of your responses to some of the people who were not as gracious in. You're still so gracious in so mature and it's attached to your character. I was like this is a good person. I can learn. Yeah it's it's hard action social media you WanNa just you know so hard to not lash out but yeah. It's so hard to not take things personally in your responses to. Everyone was so so perfect. Thank you yeah you know. I think it's just so important for us to understand a human that other people believe different things the nothing. That's okay yeah how it'll be that people believe different things from us or skeptical or you know but at the end of the day. It's what gives me peace and I can't let anyone take that from me because I'm the one who has to live this battle of losing my brother every emonet so you know what gives me and my family comfort. I can't let anyone take that away from me. So and he met Amen clearly. I know you're not. You're not on social media to to get followers if someone wanted to find you to. You WanNa give. But we don't have to be cut the snow this is this is. This is the part that I do appreciate and I do like because you know if there are people who you know want to reach out for support or just to know somebody who's gone through something similar or something. They're going through. I always want to be someone that you know they can. They can look to lean on for support. And you know I'm open if if anyone wants to talk to me about anything has any questions for me. I'm so open to that Well Yeah Okay so today. Reach out you twitter or instagram would be. I sell it to either way. And it's the underscore underscore Miller. Yes perfect. Thank you again so much and good luck in your career aspirations. I can tell that you're going to be fantastic. Thank you I appreciate you reaching out to me too. I really enjoy doing this. And and just so you know like talking about this and getting to share about. My brother always helps me to so many because seven years. Yeah seven years later. It's like some people it seems like they start to forget and to be able to to honor him seven years later and share about him so. I appreciate the opportunity. Thank you so much for listening to science from the other side. You can find me firm Rene on all social media at fern. Rene Ro and a Y. I love hearing from you and I love hearing your stories of signs and if you would like to hear more episodes of this show please be sure to subscribe in Apple podcasts. Thank you again and sweet dreams.