Thanks for listening to sex with Emily today show of talking about why talking during sex is just as important as talking about sex, and I'm taking your calls topics include. So you want to give your husband oral, but you can't get past the dreaded lockjaw. What do you do in a dream, your wife is super open about masturbation, fantasies? So how'd you make this a reality and your partner so in her head? She just can't reach climax. What do you do to help all this and more? Thanks for listening. So you all know that everyone here, it's sex with Emily loves the womanizer, but no one more than producer, Jamie. So it's kind of an obsession yet. Thank you for that under your pillow. Yeah. I mean is that bad? No. It's awesome. I'm jamie. You know, this some might say we have the best jobs in the world because we get to take all the new models home. We try them out. We review them and not so long ago. We did bring home the womanizer premium, which somehow I don't know how they do it. They changed the game. Again. I know every time I think there's no way that it can get better. And it does and the premium is basically everything I love about the womanizer already. But it's got a bunch of mazing new technology, and it just makes it so much better. Right. Okay. Hang on. Let's pick our favorite new feature. I mean, a uses the same pleasure air technology to indirectly stimulate the clitoris with those pulses of air pressure. It does it feel. Is like the best oral sex of your life. But there's no actual licking. Yeah. I mean, it's so good. And has that little round silicone was cylinder that goes over your clitoris. And the those air pulses are exactly exactly what I need. But I'd have to say my new favorite features, probably the smarts islands. Exactly. Is the best by the smart silence. Keeps the womanizer silent until you touch a to your skin. So it's discreet and roommates stone year it, I know, and I have so much. All right. I mean, it's amazing. So I don't know I have to pick something different. I'm gonna say that the thing I love besides the smart Thailand is the entire toy is all bodies, save silicone and its luxuriance to hold. I know it's really nice. I really I don't. Okay, jamie. Thanks for sharing. My obsession for the womanizer. Course if any of you haven't tried the womanizer yet, now's the time to see all of them, just go to sex with Emily dot com slash womanizer. That's my site sex with Emily dot com slash W. O M A N I Z E R. The eyes of. Is that our secret? Cruel is they call bygone only. You got a boyfriend because many here he just got his heart broke, anything kind of cute standards. The women know about shrinkage isn't a common knowledge, they mean, like laundry shrinks, not talk about sexual kidney. Oh, my fierce show won't be in bed. Those pretty good. But, you know, Emily's not the kind of Joe you just play it. 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Hope you enjoy the show. Here's the deal. Cestari alert. I mean to me, I know this, and I've talked about this. But I always think sometimes we can back things by science than maybe you'll be like, oh makes so much sense talking during sex can lead to a more satisfying sex life. According to science. My top communication advice for you is when you wanna actually talk to your partner about something sexy about your sex life. That is still best do it outside the bedroom. I think I know but the actual experience during sex like in the we're talking communicating during sex verbally and non verbally. In fact, there's a lot of non verbal during sex sexes, also helpful. So the study was polish it said that people who communicate in bed. Some however, they do it are more satisfied sexually in their relationship. So to clarify, you know, you talk with our body are nonverbal cues. In fact, they say that most of what we say is number Bill so moving your hand like if you're in bed with someone. He's wanna move their hand where Licko you know, what I actually think if you much better if they actually hit my clitoris, and they moved over there. They think that my pubic mound is my clever. So the side of my leg, and you can move their hand or moaning moaning when your partner does something that you like or, you know, moving your head when something's uncomfortable or like kind of pulling away with those are all the communications are also when you're wondering if your partner is having an orgasm, there's always a confusion around that is she Fagin is not faking. We'll typically like your breath quickens cheeks flush, you know, your heart starts racers. There are some signs, but more can be, you know, there'll be really pay attention to it. But there are so many cues. So so the use of verbal nonverbal communication. Is is important during sex like it's also about your communication style. So I think that what happens now is either people say nothing during sex, which I think is because if you're feeling something and you're feeling good. I think Mon let your partner know that you moan. But then I think there's also the porn generation people who the only sexy ever saw was porn. And then they make noises that are not commensurate. What's actually happening in the moment? Or they're not even commensurate with who they are. They're kind of like, this is the how this porn star was making noise, or this is how I think I should. And so they're not like genuine. Moans from their own like an act. But I think we all can find our voice in the bedroom. Like how you speak in how you can convey your partner about what you're into. And I think the reason why people aren't talking during sex is because it because we think it's going to be embarrassing, and it's going to ruin the mood. I think we're all so afraid to do anything during sex we over in the mood. But I guarantee you you're not even in the mood. If you're already thinking something else to happen. So just by thinking that means that you're out of the mood. So you might as well say something during sex in the sense of like that feels really good or moaning affirmations or moving their hand and saying, you know, let's let's slow down for a minute since Sex's. So taboo and weird to us. We just some people become ute during sex. They don't make any noise. I feel like sometimes men are a little bit quieter just when they orgasm. But like do we want keep commit? I know we want to communicate throughout the whole experience moaning or dirty talking. It doesn't get to be dirty topic. It's big your ashville so good this feels so good. I think that we don't take things because we don't really know what what to say. Or it's going to sound. We're a bear with. It's gonna feel. We're gonna be embarrassed. And we think our partners not gonna respond like do you ever think? Like, I think you think you moan you do something weird. And then maybe you look at your partner's face. And maybe they make a weird face nothing to do with you. And then you think I could never talk again or something like we're also concerned. But once you get to that point sexually where you just don't think you're just in your body, and you can't help but make noise is so freeing during sex and actually enhances orgasm for women and for men if someone's like, overtly quiet is there a way they can kind of cause maybe it's not natural to them to make some noise is their way to kind of make it feel more not forced. I think I think the best thing is to practice like maybe during masturbation makes noise. Like, okay. I never make any noise when I'm in the bedroom. Why is that? Now, I'm Lynn brought that up tonight. I was driving. I was listening to show. And she said something, I'm making noise. I never do. And then just do. And then you'll realize it like you just part of natural part of the experience. And in fact, I believe that when you make more noise, and you breathe mortaring sex, you actually, enhance it can enhance your organs muscle signals to your partner that you're enjoying it. It's all about letting your partner. No. Because I think otherwise we're like blind. And the people don't say anything like I've been with guys. I remember this one guy. He was like, I don't even know if he had an orgasm fuse enjoying himself as he was still alive. Like right after like, I would come thank God. And then he'd be like. That noise. It was like it was like. Excuse me. Did you just in that? That was how we orgasm. I'd be liquor you clearing your throat. Like, what did you end that? How did I knew he was his eyes were closed like, dude? Like, you can it's okay. Let's speak up. I mean, this is before I knew how to communicate effectively in the bedroom. I probably does it was annoyed by it. Or like just thought. Like, why are you not talking? What is your? I think they actually said something to him. Once I was like, I love to hear you like, you're really quiet, and I probably said it wrong. Like probably did what everyone does what you do. I probably said you never make noise, and I've probably like him out as a fifteen year these like, oh, man, which these weird. But I think if it's worth it. I think it'd be just like everything you talk about sexually. I think it'd be so hard to hear you moan. I think that would be so sexy. You know, I love hearing your voice, you know. And I think the more you do it. Then you're going to realize it like if you just try it out you're going to realize that you and your partner going to get into a group. I wonder if you guys do you make how do you feel about noise during sex? Do you make noise? I think that a time where it is. Slightly appropriate to be quiet is they you are more. So like more or less like more loud in the bedroom with your partner. But it's you're in a position where you can't make noise. I think that that could be really hot like your hands over your mouth or something. Yeah. Something like that. Or like if you're going somewhere with like family or something like that on a trip, and you're like, you know, in your in your bedroom. Yeah. I mean, I kid. Yeah. Something like that. You can't make noise because he has Bandon over your mouth at that time. That's hot. I think there's something to making some. But like, even we are you have to be quiet. They're still noises that can be more non verbal nonverbal. Yeah. Yeah. Like like kind of like just like like, you could just sort of show them. How you like things are take grab their hands. How great it is or grab their like if you can't make noise and make more non verbal communication, letting them know that it's great. And I think that could be like grabbing touching or showing them where you want to be touched. But I get it like you have kids or you're singing someone's home. Yeah. You gotta be perhaps a little more, quiet. But that's why I never stay with anybody ever. I'm just loud. It's actually I think I've gotten louder too. And I have to say, I'm not confidence. It comes with confidence. Because I literally don't care. I mean, I don't care I partner things I'd rather to thinking about it. I'm like, I'm truly in my body when I'm having sex, and it's loud me. Sometimes I'm there, and I'm not saying the whole time, you're like yelling and screaming. It's just it's just it's just something that I feel like if there's a reason why you're not let's say that. If there was a reason I've held back or. Yeah. People have. That to me if you're like thinking, right? Neither listening going. Yeah. You know, what partners at to me? Once why don't you? Or I am holding back. I think it's interesting to look at and say, oh, I wonder if I really because there's so much to the act of sex. It is all your senses are being engaged to not it almost seems like you're you're holding back. If you're not actually vocalizing I hate when like I mean, this is just like really I'm very passionate about this subject because I really just don't like having quiet sex. In any way. Because like because I am very verbal till? And I've been with partners last couple where I say stuff and the like don't really say any back or they don't they're so focused, and I can see in their face that they're really focused that they're like what? And I'm not going to repeat myself. That's unseen. You're so hot or something music. Why don't you think? Oh, this feels so good like your Cockfield. So good like things like that. You know? And it's like you're not gonna do anything to respond to that. So now, I'm like, oh, yeah. Just will. Fuck me. Right. Well, I guess you already doing that. But. Right. Exactly. So not think they go. You've gotta go what babe like during sex. My ex. Usually, what did you say? Settle the time. It was I don't know. He doesn't smoke. He's what was he was his eyes closed was he found that was eat somewhere else. No. I think he was just focus even when he's like God's down. No. You'd be going down on me. And I'll be like saying like, oh, it feels completely stop. And you'd be like what? And I'm like, no keep going. But like if just model tasking is hard for people. Well, it's my job multi Plato. I now thank God. You're good at it. Because there's a lot going on here. Throw a lot of balls around. Got it. I think to like it helps because when you are being verbal in some way, you have to use your breath. Yes. Exactly. And so you guys remember that a lot of us hold our breath during sex as well. And for a lot of women and men he was holding your breath at any point is is not is not a good idea. And that's what caused a lot of stress is a lot of us are be registered breath are shallow breeders. We don't learn to actually breathe deep into our bellies. Like, you know, die for breathing breathing like three deep breaths in all the way down. Like, you're inhaling your accelerate three deep in three D bag. That's a Kana breath when you do that during sex like that helps to enhance your pleasure move your orgasm through your body. And so I think breathing and moaning and all those things are kind of part of the entire sexual experience. Which is why people are saying like, oh, yeah. It's like all of our senses were engaged in really connected. And that's our report having more satisfying sex. It just makes sense. And so they also found so here's the thing about. Now, the reason why women make noise oh faking of not this. The researchers found that many of the women did did make noise, but not Nestle rather having an orgasm. So sixty six percent women do say they moan to speed of their partner's climax. I think it helps speed up my own climax. Yeah. That's the thing. I agree. I think that this is a missed. I think it's true. But I think this is for women who may be aren't as aware that it can help you as well. I've totally been there. Like I've made like when I know they're gonna come. And you just are louder have you? Yeah. Oh, yeah. You're coming. But I think also like baby. God. That's when we fake it. Sometimes we should never fake it. But I think that. Yeah. Women can realize it like if you can speed up their orgasm as well. But if you figured or not women are not tech this out. We're not the only primates who vocalized during sex. I love this Cosa research in the animal kingdom reveals that female babboons, for example, have a variety of copulation. Call copulation calls which appear to relate to their fertility. So they're vocally their vocals, Asians are more complex when the females are closer to AVI nation and very win a female females mating with a higher ranked male baboon. So yeah, I remember Eric sexual anthropology. It's true. And, you know, your partner like if you're with a higher million book, whatever you monkeys make. Yeah. That was a good attempt there. So female Macau monkeys. They give a shout to help trigger their mates orgasm too. So that's our primates. They'll like come on like. Monkey so vocalizing. Yeah. You guys. And I also thank you guys. Have to say that helps women the more vocal, you origin life disturbed to get more. We want bet that's my monkey. I love your searching more animal to Russians. Oh, no. I've I've so many skills. More animal impression. No, I'll record them. Rough put them on your. That was the most adorable rough. To say rough. Speaking of okay, did you know sorry. This is a completely random fact has nothing to do with what we were talking about. God. Cat's meow not really because they need to meow. But to mimic the sounds that like people make to each other, and like babies, usually babies, yeah. Exposed Davies crying. And they they learned to like to me out over time domestic cats to get the attention of their owners in that crazy. So I'm like, so you can so especially those cats that are always just like every five seconds Feiger just like, so you're really weird noises. Really crazy. So I'm like team on noise. And I'm like what is going on in the bathroom. A great old time catch to their meowing to manipulate us. Really smart. They are really smart cats are like, no where the owners your lucky dogs are like, I'm so loyal. And I'm so lucky to be here. Cats are like you're lucky that I'm here pretty much. I know I feel like I'm more like a cat. And I probably I hesitated getting a cat. But I go that's the better animal for me. But I want dogs need a cat. That's because a are independent. You just need a dog. That's seasoned. I need older, Don. Yes. Season dog who knows everything and just wants to cut him. It's true. Art guys won't take quick break and Lincoln come back. We're going to get into your calls. So Jamie up thinking picking a new toy is conduct finding a partner. I mean, if you're going to spend that much time together the bedroom to the right one. That's very true. And never really looked at it like L, and there's so many choose from now, and there's the whole like bigger better deal around the corner. People say that about dates and stuff like is this person going to be better? But when you narrow it down to the right toys, those are the only ones we talk about here because it matters. I don't want you guys to make mistakes. That's why we're so excited to welcome caliber, exotics to the podcast. And to the show, they're one of the very first founders of the American toy industry, and they still run still run by the woman who started it. She's awesome. So they definitely know how to get your needs met. And they're they're a cool company. Like, we went to sex toy expo, and they were there. They had a Tiki bar setup. And they're just very inviting. And they were Jamie loved their free drinks. I did. But it was like everyone else there's children while they're like, a quality brand they've luxurious toys. Okay. So their new poverty line. Oh, so pretty guys they're gorgeous. Like, this is the kind of toy you legitimately. It's a great gift for your friends for your partner. It's like they're bright turquoise kind of like Tiffany's box, and it's like what you've been wanting. But even better, honestly, like I guess like titties once and the best part was opening the box because some weird it wasn't even with a key keychain. But the point is this the thing about the box. But these toys you open the box, and then they have little diamonds on them. Like, not real diamonds, obviously. But that would be a million dollars for the vibrator put they like, there's just so cute. The Povey Maryland, it's a dual motor rabbit massage are adorned with crystals and offering thirty five sensational vibrations lot thirty five or five. Army? Don't ever tell me you're getting bored. They're in the bedroom. And I'm getting thirty five settings. What else? Do you need me to tell you to dial taking a week off, by the way? Yeah. I know. I don't care if you guys your dry toys out of town. But you guys if you also want to more controlled way to play. With your partner. The Povey Diana is the perfect travel size vibe to get it done. So I'll maybe I'll bring that one on my trip. Oh, yeah. Because you're leaving. You should see the toys I'm traveling with and this is one of them. So if you want to treat yourself to one of these incredible toys or get one as a gift, this is the thing if you wanna get with my partner, but she might be worried about these are beautiful and amazing and reasonably priced check out the full poverty line of toys, but going to sex with Emily dot com slash Calix that sex family dot com slash C, A L E X. I wanna tell you about one of the oldest and most trusting relationships in my life. It's probably the only one that's like never really let me down. I'm talking, of course, about the magic wand. I mean, the magic wand was a big part of my life, even before I started the show, and it's not going anywhere in my life or anyone else's. I mean, you want to know why the magic wand has been delivering pleasure for fifty years long time and still the best selling massage Wanda in the world. I think it is something to do with all that power. I mean, they don't call it the Cadillac vibrators for nothing. Whoa. It's a good one. And even though it's not easy to improve on something so timeless. They did it again with the latest version called the magic wand. Plus, an it is awesome. So like the original the magic wand, plus is a full-size plug and massage want. If features a soft silicone head easy to use controls and variable speed that lets you go from a low rumble two O M G with the push a button. And if you don't have a magic wand near life. Trust me, you should there are now three models to choose from original rechargeable and the all new plus you can see them all and go on for yourself at sex with Emily dot com slash magic wand. That's my site such Stanley dot com slash magic wand. So lemme tell you about my first time buying us extra. I was twenty two years old living ins Everett Cisco and I walked into a local shop called good vibrations. It really blew my mind, I pictured sex toy stores to be these dark dingy places, but it was so open and well let it was like an apple store for vibrators so walk in and one of the workers approach me. She immediately put me at ease. She was like. Hi. So let's talk about your dozens you would think stranger asking that would make you nervous. But she mmediately made me feel so comfortable and help me figure out. What would be best for me? Thank you pucker rocket at the time. I wasn't even aware that my life would also become devoted to helping people with orgasms and sex or that I be fortunate off to war with good vibrations later down the line. This is why am so excited to have you guys get to know them as well, if you don't already I mean, they do run some of the best and most respected adult batiks in the country. And now with their online store you that same shopping experience and expertise without ever leaving your house seriously, guys, they just know quality. I mean, the have it in their store. I trust it. And if they don't I have to question it a bit more. It's not just me that feels this way. I can't stress enough the standard they set in industry, and I'm even more excited because now good vibrations runs the shop with Emily page on my website. So being a lookout for some great, sex, toys and sexy and now. Admits to see everything good vibrations has to offer just go to sex with Emily dot com slash good vibrations. That's my site. Sex family dot com slash G. O O D V I B R A T. I o n s. All right. Let's talk to Maria. She's fifty New Jersey. And she wants to know how she can please her husband or Lee. Hey maria. Let's do that. I I I'm so glad to hear you guy. We're back. This is my second marriage. My husband is great. We've been together almost a year. Okay. So with fill in the honeymoon phase, the sex is amazing after forty fifties. Even better here. I love him rea-. Yeah. But I'm having trouble like my to please him or early. Okay. And how do you know that because my jaw teeth blacking up? Okay. So he did he tell you that it doesn't feel good or because then as we make our we like assume they're not enjoying it. And they do, but you're saying you're having some pains jaw pain. Yeah. Okay. So now, he he's happy. But I wanna make him happier. Right. Okay. I get that. So what's happening? So your jaws hurting. So here's the thing. I love these happy with it's a really this is about funding a comfortable position and some techniques for you to make it feel good to both of you. So the most important thing is that every. Blowjob was once like an orphan hand jive. If you think about like, there was a hand like the hands are very very important. If you use a lot of lube and take a break from the sucking and use your tongue in swirling around his head like the tip of the penis is the most sensitive, so the head of the penis where the shaft meets the tip is the friend Ulum on the underside of the penis. There's like this little area that you can use your thumbs, and like tickle, you could use your tongue MB enthusiastic. You've got to take the brakes though, from the sucking. That's why you're getting it. So you could just even just use your hand up and down. We had a good show their penis. It's called a it's a podcast. It'll be on our site. It's called hard at work hard at the penis. Do that was the best title. Harder work. Maria. I just did a whole podcast about this. And it's all my favorite tips. But if I really think that just don't, and maybe you should make sure you're at a comfortable position and a lot of loop. And you don't have to put your mouth and soon get tired use a lot of hands play with his balls. Ask him what he likes? Also, we're going to put a we'll put this show in the show notes. So you can listen to it. If you go to sex dot com. Thank you sound one. Okay. Good maria. You got this girl. You'll you'll be great. All right. Thanks for calling. Let's take an Email. All right. Okay. Let's one comes to us from Frank who is thirty four in California. Hi, emily. I love your show been listening for about a month. Or so my question is how can I get my fiance to feel more comfortable about masturbating and also be able to fantasize as well. I want her to share with me her deepest, desires and fantasies. So I can help her achieve them. I love her and want her to be more open with her sexuality. Thank you for always hoping so many out there. Emily. Oh, thank you. Frank. Thanks for the Email. I love that you really want her to experience pleasure. The question though. How do I get her to how to get her feel more comfortable masturbating and fantasize you have great intentions here? Because it's true you guys happy fantasy life is part of having a healthy sex life. And so as masturbating would I'm thinking Frank is she's going to have to with your support kind of figure out what that means. It might take a little bit more time than just one conversation, or, but there might be a reasons why she doesn't masturbate does a lot of women. Who don't who? Never have for many reasons. I'm mean shame guilt. A lot of women. A lot of women think why I shouldn't masturbate because I'm going to save it. Why should why do I need to masturbate? I have a partner to do that. And it just it's not even part of like it never occurred to them. And I know some men they're like, really know. But that's just how women are often. A lot of what I I do years to encourage women to take a look at you know, to start to start slow start thinking about things that you know, things that have turned you on in the past. So MRs white BYU can help our own one more thing. I want to say is that another the other wildcard here is if women or men have experienced any kind of sexual trauma. This is also something that she's going to have to get therapy and worked through, but let's assume let's say for here. Let's just talk about getting her more comfortable with fantasizing and masturbating and all those things make it something that you do together. So how you're going to get it. How are you going to be able to to the you know, what I love you? You might my beautiful wife, and I really like one of my goals one of my duties as your husband, and in our relationship is to make sure that we continue to grow and and. Prioritize our sex life. Let's make a plan. Let's talk about things that we can do together that would really make it amazing for both of us. And now, she might not even know what that means. Like Chevrolet Guatanamo, everything you're doing is great because I know I know that when I used to be ASO's questions before I knew stuff about sex. I be like, oh, no, it's fine. Whatever you're doing is feels good or I don't know what I want is this good. If like, yeah. Is this good yet? Like, they'd be touching me. Because I didn't know because I didn't do the work. And so it means that you could go on a mission with her to explore. Maybe just ask her this. What is the top three times you've had sex? And y you remember the most, and then that would tell you. She's a idle fantasize, she might say, well that time you pay them up and kissed me from behind you that I didn't know you were home yet. And then you through on the bed went down to me or the time. You bought me that beautiful diamond ring or the beautiful, jewelry and something. So you need to we were on the beach in Mexico and the waves were crashing. And now, you're gonna know, okay. She likes being away. She likes on vacation. I mean who doesn't vacation sex real. Maybe she likes touch when you kiss her intimately and there's four play. So I think it is a matter of getting comfortable with the conversation around. We're in this together we are team. We're going to make our sex life. Great. And then the masturbation thing mutual masturbation going to a sex toy store together and going shopping and being like, what looks good to you listening to the show. A lot of a lot of couples just sit down with the podcast if you're not into podcast. We've got thousands of them wherever you listen to them. They're free. We also have all the shows on the siriusxm app. I think they're good for week. You can download them episodes. We have ten so right now download them and listened together on a in a row Chipper at the house because it's hard talk about this stuff. I get it. But sometimes listening together, you know, she'll get inspired. So then she has to hear it enough. Jayme. You've mentioned people, you know, that are close to you. That are listening in. They're like, oh, yeah. You know, maybe I should masturbate, you know, a friend and so. After a while during the stuff, you're like, yeah. Why aren't I masturbated, dammit? Like, I deserve pleasure and orgasms. They're good for my PM apps. They're good for my skin. They're going to put me in about our mood. Sign me up. There's health benefits to orgasm. And then just, you know, the more we master mate, the more we the more. We know our body the more we love ourselves. It's literally called self love. Because I think we could you know, it's loving ourselves. And I think we could all stand to love ourselves a little more in every way. So I feel about that Frank. Let's talk to Laura who's twenty eight in California. And she wants to know why can't hurt girlfriend orgasm? Hey, laura. Thanks for calling. I am leaving through taking my call horse. I had called like six weeks ago. And so I just wanted to say thank you for dot com. Sation I was asking how to make them though, newer. Yes. I am. Yeah. You told me to just ask can I kiss you? And I did that. And it was great. Oh my God. And sixty later, you're so well dumb. Sometimes just got to ask. Good move. Right. Awesome. Okay. I'm glad that helped electrical. Yeah. I mean, we're like a great match in a lot of ways and we're exploring like kink together. And you know, having open conversations about what we like and wanna try, but she doesn't come with partners. And that's like her thing. Okay. And we're still doing our thing having fun exploring. But I guess I'm just trying to figure out is there anything I can do to like support her in maybe being able to move through that to she's never orgasm from anything. You've done to her. You've never seen an orgasm yet Ray. I mean, I've definitely seen her like, I don't know how to call this. But like when there's like just more lubrication. Yeah. He's been turned on or. Yeah. So. An appoint a might not mean of you arrest or why she thinks that is or she just like that too. I am I don't come with a partner. I asked one of your questions that you probably told other people to try of like what works for you when you're alone. Yeah. And she said, it's nothing you're doing or not doing. It's just I'm in my head. Oh, okay. Initi- bid another relationships before with women. I think she's newer to it. I think what would be really cool is. If you guys had a night at home where you guys are playing around and do some mutual masturbation because that is such a if she's comfortable with that, which I hope she would be we, you know, when you're both kind of getting off, then it's it's hot because then you're looking at her get herself off. But then also you're seeing what she actually does and how she touches herself. And and I know she might say, no, I can't even have anyone in the room. But I think that's a loving way for her to kind of try it out again without the pressure of orgasm. So that would be one way. And I think she wants to be able to orgasm someone let's just say that she can't she hasn't yet. And why she might not. I don't know. Like, maybe she has some some shame around it, or she's there's a million reasons like she could feel like she doesn't liquor orgasm. But he's or she's embarrassed. She asked us a vibrator every time or or maybe she's never orgasm for all. We know. I think if if her so those are few things, but then also she said she's in her head. And so when when our head it's really important to and you said you guys are getting into some kinky stuff. What's really lot of people weren't too like Bedia Sam and kinky stuff it actually helps take them out of their head and into the moment because you're focusing on pleasure. Pain role. You're playing spanking or receiving or talking dirty, and so you really actually present. So that might help you and then also just general mindfulness like you guys are like making eye contact breathing together. You're you know, you're listening to y'all your student. Gauge all your senses. So you've got a candle lit that smells. Great and got really sexy music. And you know, she's feeling the touch on your over hands on your body and just practice slowing down and really being intimate together. And maybe she can help move through some of her mind stuff if she feels really connected and safe with you can I follow close to horse. Yeah. We're trying these things I think we're both trying to kind of take the pressure off of like making sure she can figure out how to get there. Okay. But I guess in terms of the like mutual masturbation thing, or, you know, supporting her in mindfulness like is there a way I can talk to her. Do you have a suggestion of what to say that might help feel comfortable like trying those things out? Yeah. I think what you should say tourist XM you hemisphere. Not when you're in the bedroom. You guys are hanging out and having dinner, you know, breakfast to say, you know, what I the six weeks have been amazing. I think I I really I really love, you know, the connection we have. And I I know we've talked about this before. But it would give me so much pleasure. Or really turns me on or you'll know her language like I would love to go on a journey with you where we can figure out. What turns you on? I mean, I think it sounds like maybe you said that because he said you already did the not pressure thing. But I think it's a matter of saying you're safe with me. I think it'd be really how it out the pressure. But like, I would really be turn. On helping you have an orgasm, and helping you get there. I think it would really connect us even more, and I want, you know, I'm here for you for for anything. Am I think it'd be fun to try some new things out? And if any time, you don't feel comfortable, you know, I think it'd be really hot to see how you touch yourself, and we can light some candles. We can take a bath together. Just kind of just kind of lowering it, you know, your tone, and it's kind of making it more. Like, hey, what do you think about that? But I think it would be really hot and without the goal of orgasm. How about the goal of exploration? So and then also you could say, yeah. Does that mean like, I think because trying mutual masturbation me, which one of those do you think she'd be into I? Maybe the mutual not for be. I mean, honestly, you could say I was do tell you listen to the show. I heard this thing. And I just I think it's a really I think it would just be so great because I could see how you touch yourself. That would turn me on. You can see what I do. I think it'd be fun to play together. I love you know, if you guys are into kinky stuff to me that would be something that she might be into because it's really hot. And so I think just putting it out there. There's a page owed. So we're going to do right now. I have a page of my book called hot sex, and we're going to take a picture of it. And we're going to put it in the Instagram stories about mutual masturbation. So if you go to swipe up you can check that out. But I think it's really just talking to her and let her know that it'll hands both of your you know, that you just want to help get there and all that and you support her find out more wine. So yeah, I hope that helps. Yeah. Thanks, Laura back happens. We'll help you with the next things that come up because they always do. All right, guys. Hope you enjoyed the show. I love doing this show. I love all of you. Thanks for calling in thanks for supporting the show. Thanks to amazing team can Michelle producer, Jamie. And Michael was a good for you. Eat them feedback at sex with Emily dot com. I am so excited to let you know, you can now hear sex with only live five days a week on Sirius XM radio, you'll find me and stars channel one. Oh, nine Monday through Friday at five to seven PM Pacific eight to ten PM eastern. But don't worry the podcasting right here. 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