Scrooge Goes to a Baby Shower
Welcome to round three of the parenting roundabout podcast for the week of December twenty third. I'm Katherine Aleco. I'm here with Terry. Morrow Hello Hello Nicole. Eric's hello we're moms of teens and young adults and when it comes to parenting we've been there done. That bought the T shirt. But we're so waiting for that day. When will reach the finish line in have no further need to lay down in a dark room with a wet rag over our is worrying about something or other so Wednesday is complain Blink Day here on parenting roundabout end? We do not even take time off from complaining for Christmas. We today are going to talk about. Put a recent article in the Washington Post that talked about the need to Kinda update the baby shower It says new parents need childcare. Child care help meals and groceries therapy social support. Steer your friends and family toward helping with support costs instead of shelling out money for chop a line new Stuff so in this season of gift giving is a good idea like do we just want to hand over over a little onesie and be done within or as we do I mean as a as a giver at probably would but as a new parent I definitely would have. I mean you do need stuff you have rights stuff but getting help is really important to like one thing that they talked about in this article like right at the baby shower setup the like meal train for bringing the food when the baby comes which I think is pretty. I think that's GonNa Cause anybody who brought me food. When I had babies I was extremely all it might question with? That is who is coming to this baby shower. 'cause I've recently been to a baby shower for somebody somebody who doesn't live near me. She's a daughter of one of my husband's cousins. I see her only at weddings showers. I don't I don't even know where she lives but I'm pretty sure it's not in meal toting distance and I know that she would want a meal from mean random she barely we knows. So this assumes that you have a warm personal baby shower with your immediate friends and relatives and then it's fine but I you don't WanNa just I mean I guess if they said here goes this go fund me page and chip in for a lactation consultant Okay a upbeat easier than getting a gift card for maybe place which I probably would be doing but least here in New Jersey baby showers have a sort of a broader Guest List You know than what they seem to be talking about here and also. I'm not sure that I've never. I had an adoption shower but I never had a baby shower. How much do you as a young person having your first baby? Say No what you're going to need in the way of have support a you know. Some people might need a lactation consultant. Some people might not some people might need a night nurse. Some people might not want it. You know it seems like what it's going to be some older relatives saying now. Honey you're going to need this and this and this you don't mean that fancy baby stroller that you want. You don't need all those clothes as you need this and this Stat sheet presents. I think this woman was talking about her shower from the perspective of being a mom uh-huh and knowing what she would have needed when she was actually having met shower if she would have been psyched to get this stuff. I'm not right. Well I really liked liked what My son's friends did for their wedding this past summer. They they did a combination. There's a site tie the nod or something that where they can put down. You know physical items that they want and experiences or services that they they want so like that option as a registry basically Yeah it was like a registry. Yeah and so And you could just like donate money online line and they would get the money somehow but see for me personally like I would prefer to outsource and have the you know like say for example Uber Eats Gift Card Because I I feel like well. There's definitely a trend. That's moving away from collecting stuff. And there's that whole reuse recycle up cycled kind of stuff which in some cases good and not so good But I feel like when it comes to these personal items like yeah we there's a registry but then like I feel like New parents wanted shoes. Exactly what they want right so I would like to have the option of of getting services and yeah 'cause I think that has like just as much value. Yeah if it can be done in a really sort of generalized way. Okay but it's like you know you may what are they. I'm not sure what they mean by like experiences but like for some families might be cool to. Have you know a membership to a museum museum or a trip to Disney or whatever but then you have your baby and it's premature or it's got special needs or whatever and then you need a whole other set of experience as as my gift card for a speech. Therapy can have given or you know Uber Uber to the hospital back to visit my kitchen the nick. You It's it seems like if you're GonNa do it this way maybe what you WanNa do is have the shower after the baby is worn when you know specifically what you wish you had give you give the new new parents a month and then throw them apart. That's what we did I had I had my baby shower with Madison was a month old. Yeah and then that's also so a better way to do a a shower or a celebration for a second or third kid. Yeah you know 'cause then you do you've either. You do know you do know Angie stuff yeah were you. Don't really need stuff. But if people brought you like frozen meals and and You know diapers and yeah Here's all the days that I can take your older child to the park. Or whatever like that sort sort of stuff is I think even more when subsequent child definitely I had I actually after after my daughter was born. I had a Hired a Dula like a postpartum. Do Oh my God. That was the best thing one of the best things about having a child being but it was expensive. I couldn't afford to have her all the time but It it was so nice to have somebody come in folsom. Closer helping you know something that was going to change into diaper. This is a really nice kind of support service kind of thing that was recommended to me so kind of the type of the thing that like a family member might have done. If you had one nearby right yeah exactly So I I would hit the option of having an it being socially okay to give alternate forms of rights because I think he just get stuck in this traditional they gotta give a baby blanket. But where else would you like that to expand to. We do that with like Christmas this gift of all the things that are under trees as people are listening to this podcast. Are they looking at them and going. What are really rather had you know yes a trip somewhere? Who if we could take all the money from the stuff that people gave me that I didn't want and they just bought me a made you know aerob- a day at something or a you know pal? I kinda took charge this year. Yeah like we're we're gonNA take the money that we spend on your gifts and put it towards a family experience. How I and will idea I am so over buying them stuff that they you can typically get themselves that we could get for them or if they're just by yeah they they just going by and it doesn't whatever I get my husband he doesn't want anyway so So we I said Yeah. We're GONNA take that money and put it towards something as family so yeah good idea. This year I always have so much trouble with Christmas. Yeah they're older. That helps also Christmas presents and then my husband's birthday is in January. My son's birthday is in March and my daughter's birthday is April so it's a lot lot in a short period of time and my son as I've said before often can't decide what he wants that I'm getting him like double at his birthday because can and can so this year. We're going to try something. New which is just where each member of the four of us is going to buy the other three something with a maximum price of ten dollars so so we're just going to have a very small little fun from the heart sort of a gift exchange on the day and then you know anything that I thought I would get them for Christmas. I can get them for their birthdays. Because it's coming right up afterwards So I don't feel like anybody's getting slighted that much and they don't really it's not like there's a ton a stop. They're not little kids with their is full of toys. It's like sometimes pulling teeth to get something do so. Yeah we're all going to go to this one replace. It has stuff and we're just all going to you know. Buy some little trinket for each other. We'll see how that goes may maybe next year we'll do something some sort sort of experience or by some streaming service for everybody in that will be bad but it. Does you know the gift giving especially with the older kids. It does get kind kind of diminishing returns Yeah I my daughter. This year with her skating team has so many expenses like there's all clothing and just supplies in you know a special backpack like all this stuff that we have after by. Please just put that under the Christmas tree because my expanding so I just I end she she gets it like she would find with that but all right out of it you know. I didn't necessarily have by Christmas sore. I had it way before. And you know or hers. Coach distributed like. Yeah when they got it so it wasn't and working out. Well you just write it all out on a card yet abo- on the card and put it under the tree and say look at all the stuff I got for you for any much. Well there should be a better way and certainly I think everybody who goes to showers and everybody who gives gifts for anything else wants the thing to be as useful as possible possible. You know not an fairly easy also but not something. That's GONNA turn out to be an unnecessary expenditure of funds. So maybe maybe this sort of trend will be helpful eventually. But I'm still not GonNa Cook Meals for somebody. Se twice. I don't think they would while I wouldn't cook the meals. My husband yells blood interesting ideas. And that's it for today's round three tune in tomorrow when we'll obsess about foods that beat stress and then come back on Friday to see what we've come up with for a roundabout Rondo picks weak dollar episodes of parenting roundabout dot Com and talk back in the comments there on our facebook page on twitter. 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