Consumer and they have the AC in them so that's where all I will be doing was fucking like AC is where do you go there. You pretend like you're going blaster bates so I'm in the boom number masturbating. Welcome back to the first episode episode in our new studio girl's. GotTa Eat Padre Pio my home studio. It's so much okay thinks Babylon for supporting girls' gotta eat get to Leggings for only twenty four dollars. That's a ninety nine dollars value when you sign up for a VIP go to fabric dot com slash gg and take advantage of this deal now now also things to native for supporting girls' got eight native makes safe simple effective products that people use in their bathroom every day for twenty percent off your first purchase visit native Deodorant Dot Com and enter the Promo Code G. G. E. during checkout. Yes also thanks to figs for. Supporting girls' got eat figs is an amazing company that makes stylish functional scrubs for the people who deserve it most fixes offering you fifteen percent off your first purchase by using our code. G G at where figs dot com also thanks to buffy for supporting girls' gotta eat for twenty dollars off your buffy a fee betting visit buffy dot co and enter Promo Code. Gi we'll talk about all the later. Buffy makes more than just comforters guys get ready. Why am I still continue. I mean this. It's more than covered as comfort. Whatever you throw at it. Okay Oh man new new apartment new apartment right. It's so beautiful. I can't believe you live here. I walked courtyard to get here. I don't belong here on like I. I mean the stuff. That's already happened like. They're like how to describe it in here but we made it fam- or here we about to let someone else in here. Let someone enter new studio trait. The far actually like spoiler. We already recorded with him. He just laughed so we recorded record. We already recorded now. We're going backwards and doing the intro so you guys get a really timely intro. This is like the day before the episode drops you as a real excited about this gas yeah. You're in for a real treat treat. You have all deemed us about it. So we have a great episode. We have dared pay from Bachelor nation on so we posted them on our stories and stuff like that. You guys are wild for this man. It's you especially got a ton of DM's. Everybody's like Oh my God one of us to fuck him. He's so hot ran and you have to please talk. Oh my God the amount of you that I'm working on it. Relax working on this for a while but I am so I'm so excited cited. This is our first episode recording and we have a guest so he is worthy of the apartment finally find someone took something really special before we would allow the apartment apartment legs to obese. Brad not really. I've been here a week but yeah. I don't know I don't WanNA spoil. You guys like no-one no-one. no-one fucked Eric in this apartment. No He's just a nice boy from Iowa Yeah. It's all yes you guys are so crazy but speaking of the fucking in this apartment there is something. I've been wanting to tell you okay. When I went to Atlanta a couple of weeks ago I went to Kelly's modern mystic shopping. Pinot we had Kelly night on the show and she has this great shop in Atlanta and she was like what do you want in your new apartment. Like what do you envision. You want to help well success. I WanNa give you like a rock or crystal or stone or something and I was like i WanNa get laid a lot and she goes okay and she was like she came stone. First Sexual Frost way already. I have to tell you I was looking at okay so guys like full disclosure. We make like no it's about. We want to talk about every day and one of the notes is sex rock and I was like I won't ask her. I'll just find out because we haven't shared. We both jumped into it. I was like I'm not ask what this means a lot of times. I make my separates but today I was like fuck it. She knows I'm GONNA so Kelly was like here's your stone. It's Cornelia and I can't remember remember. That's called Karnal Ian. It's it's really pretty amber color and she was like put this. She goes put this under. Your bed like this is crazy. I don't have a rocket or my bed. Okay you Kalima. We're right about everything and she was like Aussie. You can hold it when you masturbate. I wish it was a man during more than half of the people I've slept with Jerry. Jones texted me and she goes. Hey I need your address. I'm going to send you a gift. It's supposed to bring you lots of sex. I'm like this is embarrassing at this point. Oh people are really roasting. You actually get more. No it's ever offered me a sex rock. They know what's up. Get your rocks off anyway. Guys modernistic shop. You can get your own alien sexton so bad. Why don't you guys like what is this and you're doing drags down dead from outside I do have you seen me. I'm shit. He's like that's a beautifully polished stone like Oh. They have them in the courtyard luxury. It's a luxury. We don't have real rocks here. We only of course amethyst crystal. Oh my God I wanted to just talk about the move at length but I mean moving to super stressful and it's such a it can be such a pain in the ass and it can ruin your life. I The best moving company I wanted to give them a plug. Their called flat rate moving. They were wonderful. I really I put this instagram story of you. Guys have an issue but three guys came. They packed my whole old apartment packed at all like like I just I thought I was going to help and I was like I'm here to help and they didn't even acknowledge me say that and then they just went to town like the sound of like the tape and the boxes was deafening gene and I just left and got coffee and then I came back and I'm like can I help and they're like no and I really couldn't. I was like in their way and just sat there with the blankets all those blankets to wrap stuff often. They didn't need that many because I didn't have the Mitch sold a lot of it so it was like sitting outside the apartment I just sat on the stack of blankets and drank coffee while they finish the move they have my whole apartment packed up load in the truck and under chew hours than they just drove over here. Everything was just it was in twenty minute. You're here by noon yeah so they came at nine. Am done by noon fully moved in and and we got this cute picture. It's on my instagram do we do. We just pose like a champ never thought I can't recommend them enough. So I'm just a big fan and I think you know there's tons of different types of moving companies but obviously if you flat rate what I like is the name of his flat rate like there's no hidden fees. They're not like you thought it was gonna be this much. It says much. I really like that about them. I mean I back in the day. When I was more in budget like in Atlanta I would is some crazy moving experiences. I that uses company my very first move. When I hired movers it was so cheap and I found him somewhere where they were called. Danny delivers unmarked truck. The most unprofessional ratchet dudes moved my staff. When they drove off in the truck I was they could literally just go like I had the sickening feeling of like they could steal all my stuff a week later. Maybe a week or two later. Why did I see in the Atlanta newspaper. Danny any delivers one of his employees murdered. Danny and I was like that was the moving company. You just hear horror stories so you can afford it because it's not it's. I think it's worth every penny and I think fire rate is a pretty reasonable from what I thought. It was going to be what they quoted me. It's worth it. Oh my God. They do everything I mean I. I've only ever movers wines because I I couldn't afford it in the past and there's a huge range like when I moved into my new place I will say you have dealt with moving light years better than I have. I've but I got everything from eight hundred dollars to four thousand dollars a huge range and so I'm guessing tons of hidden costs also the people that I use you can probably just a lot but like they sent somebody ahead of time because I thought I needed thirty boxes and they said I needed one hundred boxes. She's GonNa have that'd be flat. Rate is is great because like there's no surprise costs. Yes so anyway but I just throw that in highly recommend they were great. They're they're fun on social media. They were posted on my. I stopped love the pictures of Dewey. He's never seen him smile like that. I've never seen anybody smile like that. It's like you photo shopped his fame. We the vision was like I was. GonNa have him lay across these is to medium sized boxes and the big boxes or behind and I didn't realize I didn't even really realize the boxes. Weren't that fall like. They weren't books that were keeping them. He looked right. Nfl they look so happy like you need a box locum home little angel care so how come here. I do it all for Graham. I'm well. I'm glad that worked out glad you handled moving better than I did because I had a historical meltdown for six weeks and you handled it in like forty eight hours so Kudos to uh-huh and your sex rock I was like what does that mean does yeah do you WanNa do the announcement stupid. Live shows us. Oh my God. Can I do it here for it. Okay holiday. Show guys Friday December thirteenth at townhall. ooh. If you guys don't know what this theater is if you if you watch crashing they did the final episode there but it is like an epic like Broadway Performance Theater Yeah in midtown I now. I don't know if a lot of people have seen crashing. That's the first time I saw it and really caught my eye. The Berry Finale John Mullany performs there and Pete Holmes as well and it's like this beautiful theater one of the things that they promote is that there is not a bad seat in the house because we were really looking at a few different venues and there was one. I'M NOT GONNA name names because it's a great venue but it where I was like people are so far away from the stage like I don't even know how we would be like a SPEC back to them. This is like tiered really you can be on the upper level. I mean we obviously recommend the lower level. Get as close as you can. There's shit. That's going down at the show. I cannot wait but it's just it's really amazing. CD great views everywhere and we fought really hard to pick a venue with the right day of the week for you guys really closure. We had the Apollo theater the Monday after Thanksgiving thanksgiving and we didn't want you guys do that. Go to Harlem the day after Thanksgiving so <hes>. It's a Friday night in December December. We hope you guys loved the venue as much as we do. We hope you guys are playing holiday trips to New York around it for your girlfriend's. Tickets are on sale today yeah. They're on sale promise you this will be. They are most spectacular well. We call the Christmas spectacular holiday spectacular. I promise you it will al do last year. It will be the most spectacular show we've ever done. They won't start the show without us. Okay just for lower mater actually taking a shit last year. They started the show without us. I was in the Green Room Florida's. It was some guy and Ashley was taking a shit and Herat the redway dress Yup. Sorry gun around the runway. Badgley Michika full-blown skid marks on that dress through the whole whole show had to go get another one. The next day didn't have time to wipe her the music play and had to run up to the most exercise. I've ever gone anyway. We'll never say never I can't handle it. Actually I cannot handle it if they do something like this to us this year. They won't their great. Yes so Friday the thirteenth easy to remember yeah and get those this month we do. What is the Niagara Now. This Friday is Friday thirteenth. My parents are coming. We'll it'll be good luck June. Hang on my dad just thinking honestly honestly this. Lee so much got some new lesbian porn. I guess that's what he likes. Okay anyways a couple. Tickets left in the fall for these shows it is the most host amped show have you guys have never seen our shows. You've never seen instagram videos of our shows and we're actually working on stuff like that. So you guys can see those videos by it is the most ridiculous Jiechi last night out people get so let come through obviously get dressed up. It's amazing anyways. There are tickets left in Cleveland the first night and Columbus Pittsburgh Charleston Charleston and New Orleans so that's left to the fall and the very last thing if you have tickets Lanta the first night you can add a meet and greet on and that is still available tickets are sold out but if you have tickets you and and that's it we'll see you guys throughout the fall. We have a tumor weeks in town. Let me hit the road again. Yeah I know and I can't can't recommend these all the shows obviously but I mean New Orleans and Charleston and Pittsburgh. Obviously those are the big theater shows and they're going to have all the entertainment stuff like that Orleans man. I can't wait yeah titties out to somebody was like it is so nice how supportive byard Ashley Always Bullhorn when she talks and I was like. Aren't you like that with your friends. That's so funny my blanket like it. Oh Man I can't wait at Charleston. I love chart one today's ever yeah actually both as New Orleans and trump walks in Pittsburgh city but New Orleans Charleston air to my favorite cities of all time you went to vacation there with you. I know I can't wait. We're GONNA extra days all right. Well stupid. Live show dot com girls. GOTTI PODCAST DOT com on shows are eight Raina he right introduce our hot guests. I love intro at home nervous about the first intron this apartment so in the house studio with us and do we have our very first visitor visitor from Bachelor nation. He was on the Bachelorette Joe Joe. Season he also was on this current season of Bachelor in paradise. All of you slid into. RDM's about welcome to the House Studio Derek Pave. I always feel like uncomfortable when people talk me up like welcome to the studio John John Paul Jones. We have been idiot here Derek. We couldn't get someone more famous so your hair actually texted me last night like hey man. You roasted me so hard last night. I was like we'll make it work any day of the week at anytime you go. This is real desperate yeah here. We are on a Saturday morning. Derek had four expresses. Those are both doubles. I made you two doubles three hours a night of the week and a half so but you're I mean. Let's see how this goes. You've had a lot of caffeine but you look great great. I don't feel great. You know you've been here for or an hour and a half I'm like do we still have anything to talk about talking. Shit we have. I do have to say my I do. Have your number saved by the way rain this is she was like Oh. I don't know I didn't save this number. Who is this to Faulk with her. I actually think you would explain actually goes. Did he agree and I go. He's either Florida with mayor. He's kind of fucking weird. I don't know ah I can't believe you humbled or she needs it. I know he's really big league man. I was like girls. GotTa eat and he goes. Is this a cooking show. I'm like we we. We've been you record your podcasts bright you when she showed me the screen shot and I was a kid does our podcast right actually listen like you know every every couple of weeks so thank you thank you so much. I want to say right off the bat huge fan of the franchise. I've watched every episode of my favorite season of anything. Species and Batra Paradise has been so incredible. I feel like this is really what took you to the next level like you became an icon on this season. People want you to be the bachelor all that kind of stuff but I want to stay right up top that this is not going to be a total Bachelor Bachelor in Paradise podcast episode at the end. We're going to ask all these questions that people submitted so it'll it'll come up but like we know you guys want to know all these things and we crowd source questions and we're going to do it at the end. Is Our little game with you going to be like it's part of my life but it's not my whole life. I talk about it at all. Let's talk about your finance job. Honestly I could do that. I want to be a little too boring but I do know you're like what's your life true story like what what is it. You have a real job. I work for a bank and like our big thing is student loan refinance so I travel around two hospital systems like bigger companies and sell student loan refinance at a lower price for employers. This is so boring. I know see that's what I do. That's my that's my normal life and then at night. I go to cool events. They never sleep. I have to live. I live too long. You really do live a double whole life like I don't know are there. Do you know of other Bachelor Bachelorette people that stole the full career. Most people either like fade away or they go all the way into it so weirdly crossed. That's what I'm yeah. You're you seem different in that way. You're not like pushing sugar bear vitamins but you're like what I will do on the gyms. It's like I have boxes but don't you think I don't get how they can through. Some people who think is like their holier than it. It's like oh I would never do that that kind of stuff but that's just stupid this free money that people are offering like why would yeah when I first started doing like ads on instagram for like one Hungary jail L. Sal out. It'd be like okay. Maybe your too good to take Burger King money but I'm not certain so. I'm going to take this free money. Also have you ever heard of commercials like this is how our world our life tariffs like. I'm out here. Giving you is free fire content with E. Selfie is GonNa pay for this phone. It's not free so you were on Joe Season. Who What we already talked with us before we start recording. I think she's the hottest bachelor of all time so you got lucky there and then when was that was it like two thousand seventeen or a couple of years again ever since then. I was just been a blur. It was like three and a half years ago so yeah two hundred sixteen gene. I quit my job to do that. Oh job the story at sorry I cut you off. The story of how you actually got on. The show is interesting because I think a lot of people are are dying of on reality shows and you're like they had to beg you right did yeah. I kind of fucked. Boyd them unintentionally like I didn't mean to but it was the perfect made accidental made it probably even better had it happen a little sister so my friends watched the show and drink wine and I was actually living in Florida at the time little sister percent my information in and they call in the middle of my workday and working in a bank and yeah my suit somebody he calls and she's like hi. This is Kelly from the bachelor. I want to know if you're still single and in my head I'm going this is not a normal molpus like this is not an actual call. I'm getting this house. Somebody Prank calling me like adding radio. Show whatever and so I'm just right away. I'm just like you have my email. Yeah just email me and hung phone. That really big league makes me why you so bad. Kelly's like what pod distant who had to go tell her boss like he just gamy is e mail and hung up on me like what and the whole franchise was like we gotta get. I'm Chris Ericsson's like put me on the Guy <hes> and so then they kept trying to get me to go places the drive two hours to come to some what they were. I don't even know what they call them this. She asked it'd be like Nana doing that. So they know joke. They came and it was two blocks away from my work hotel. Just took me personally other people they but yeah they had cameras set up in a hotel room and now this sounds like something. This is a Harvey Weinstein Weinstein situation. I'm getting and they're just like Oh. You're so comfortable in front of the camera and I'm going to end because I don't care if the the person who cares least has the power exactly especially in that so you like well for anybody out there. Who Does the whoever wants to go stop trying so hard yup everything I guess tell people dating a guy like you do nothing. Nothing love yourself babies the hang up on them. Give them your email and hang up. We need to make that a new thing like yeah number my email. You have my instagram handle. What was your relationship life before that. Were you newly single has been single for awhile. I was like I kept going back and forth with this one girl for six years and both of us were just horrible to each other not not actually not mean to each other but we would just be like Oh. I can't wait. I want to spend the rest of my life with you and then and then we'd be like but there's this other person I'm going to go. Try things out within just see because I'm not sure about this yet college. No it was after college fat hat but yeah it was six years worth of that. Oh man so then when they called I was. I was like this will be. The final cut to be like I'M GONNA quit. This job. I'm going to move from Florida is going to change yeah. Wow Okay and you had a real relationship from Bachelor in Paradise Taylor. Oh you as you really put her instagram. Alon considering. I Dunno some probably are less real than others like you guys. Is that a relationship right yeah and I think I'll always be the person I'm assuming who waited the longest or knew somebody the longest before like the engagement part happened because we did it. The after show everybody else does at during the show so like paradise whatever four weeks of recording and like the Bachelorette right. It actually are like ten weeks. This was like four months of dating basically before we did that so it was. It was definitely gauged. Yeah Oh Jeez. I didn't realize is this a touchy subject now broken engagements. What's up broken engaged. I didn't know that no by the way Oh rail your cases co host for the PODCAST. No I would say they found so there's so many more people that have been through that again once I did that. I had like eight friends who I didn't even know. They'd been engaged at some point in time we get it. It sucks and we're here for you yeah. I never knew anybody. I was a little younger when it happened to me. I was twenty seven. I'm at that age I mean I didn't know anybody that didn't go through it and so I was like so humiliated and I would never tell anybody and people would say like. When do you bring this up on a date and I'd be like never today. I'm like it's just in the past I know. Do you think like people should know that like divorces in and what instrument yeah I don't know. I don't think it should matter. I don't think you should lie but I don't think you need to open with it. I don't think he lied with it. I agree. I don't think my take on it as if it comes up when you're dating somebody in getting to know each other comes up but I think we always talk about this like it's weird if somebody's like purposely omitting information but it's not something to hide. I don't think I think also just got kids too so I think that's a wall. People put up sometimes times. 'cause I have friends who have kids now like I always tell people right away right away. Have a kid and to me. I'm like okay but I think you're that's a definite no for a whole lot of people well. You're probably like pushing people away. Who would maybe be like once. They meet you once even like Oh. I really like this person. Hey by the way I have. I have a kid. It's the first I roll sales. You make them want the product or you tell it what it costs because like on the sales. I was like how do I use. My Dad was like make people like you. Though by anything you sell while I was like okay I understand. I'm totally with you though I think that if you're omitting information that's a little if you live with your kids and like your your whole life all day long as your kids and you don't bring it up for three dates. It's a little all star daily part of your life. You're right if if we made it that far and then I found now I would be like a different. No you know a friend that took six months before she found and then went home with them for the holidays and then someone brought up the kid because the kid live with the mom the mom but he had he saw that he wasn't an absent father he had seen the kid while they'd been dating. That's a that's. The biggest red was crazy and he was like trump guy. We call him trump. Dad wrote Red Hat for me but engagement is not like a part of your life every day so I could stay bringing. Somebody brought it up with me on a date and on the first day and I was like I don't want to talk about this. This is weird for me because that's also about you in them right. It's not about the new person right why you might ask. Why did you guys break up. Do you have a like a media trained dancer. Yeah it is the thing with that is. I've never wanted to get into it because like it's an old wound that I don't think on her side we. I should like bring up and respectful of that but I always just like don't Wanna well. Let's talk about getting on Bachelor in paradise twice different one well this okay crying there one day. I think you as of anybody on the show were were the most mature older than some of these whatever John Paul Newman's is twenty four. You're in your thirties so I think you came across great but I I want to talk about this today in general and the episode of just putting it out there was I think you come across. Great is the weirdest thing to hear about when you do this because you're just like first of all I mean I I was just like living my life second of all when people say that it's usually because some shade happen to you. You know what I mean like. The person that didn't have anything happen just like in the background. They're like Oh yeah you weren't there but the person that they're like you came across great. I don't I don't agree totally surface level like you were a person person. I enjoyed watching and I you weren't like a dramatic drama for TV. Then you seem to like dorm situation like just deal with conflict and drama drama and like a very calm way. I feel like people like on reality TV. I'M GONNA be the biggest ship bag of all time you see that shit so easily like you can see through that yeah. I hate people that do you. Were like like a prominent character. I feel more so than you have been in the past a little bit like people were like really and we'll get this the end like Derek for Bachelor. I WanNa talk about this and generally only putting yourself out there. I feel like you really put yourself out there and there was like some rejection and let's talk about it for obviously it's hard it anytime you get rejected that sucks and obviously. I'm still single and I WANNA. I WANNA be in a relationship in my thirties. Now like this. It's time for me also grew up in Iowa which means from the time I was eighteen. People are like Oh. You're going to get married to your girlfriend. You know if I had friends after high school getting married too there is absolutely what else are you doing. You know get married make babies and grow corn and I love Corn Houston tons of recipes so but but like you do want to get married and have kids someday and sooner than later honestly. We're here for you right. Now are going to be just the amount of blowjob the job. You're going to get from this show. You're welcome because it's more than the bachelor so did you feel it was difficult like dealing with that especially on TV. I think that like once you once you're there for for a couple of days you'd actually forget about the cameras <hes> because you have to or you're playing shit up and then like you said it's really easy you see that you see through people that are acting getting or whatever like if you're just yourself your way more comfortable with adding after the fact that that were you if you the two different people if you're trying to play different characters that's just really hard to keep straight and your head to seen it before and people that snap and freak out. I think usually it's because of that because they're like trying to hold something think back and then they can. It's the person yeah but so all right to the break-up stuff the very first time on the very first show I cried on camera camera and it was like I was super ashamed of it right like I never cried and like years before that this girl that I was talking about before she. She told me at one point she was like you're too much of an emotional man. Because one time I teared up a little bit about something yeah they never do this. I swear it's like when girls like sleep with somebody early. They're like I never do this. You're like I know her. Cry At that point in time I hadn't and I was like Oh man. This is so shameful that everybody just saw me in and then after that like I owned it and like went to therapy and stuff and was like really changed my perception of you crying in the car. Yes it was hard art because because that's like all people knew me for the like leaving national yeah it was like. Oh you're the guy that got Jason Resnick like it's like when you man cry dull forget begat going full. Ms Knicks still to this day and so it's hard living your life and people knowing you because you cried the meeting people and they're just like you're the crying Guy Guy. You're like it came crashing ma'am. Am Derek Derek's cry phase exact but I've seen you posted. I think you did the best thing anybody can do any humiliating situation just to be like yeah. It was kind of weird and funny. I don't know that's a future thing like I yeah exactly and so they going back in in dealing with that stuff then. I was like all right whatever I don't care anymore. This is good. People should see guys cry. Nah I love that. I wanted to ask you about like the Demi staff because I feel like people deal with this a lot in real life and we want to take some of the things happen on the show in to real life and people. I don't know basically you connected with this girl on the show and you seemed like you were a little more all in because she was dating somebody else was a woman so she is bisexual. Maybe I I don't know what she would would. She would call herself. That's what I'm just going to say so. How do I feel like people deal with that in real life a lot where you're like. I'm all in for this. I'm not seeing anybody else but this other person then is kind of not. How did that feel why the funny thing was like. Did you see that comment. I guess no no I didn't not at all yeah and that's like a very surprising thing to find out because at the same time you see this bigger picture of it because because it's on TV you know that people are GonNa see this like all of a sudden. That's where you kind of take that thirty thousand foot view and it's like Oh my God. This is going to be a representation for how other people could handle this so that was like super extra stressful but in normal life you can't make people you can't tell people what to do. Yeah and that's like another thing I've I when I was younger. I would've done the whole I gotta fight for. Her and I don't do that shit anymore. Now okay now. I'm just like what if you don't want it. Go ahead. That's fine. Maybe that's the giving less thing that we talked about earlier. I don't know if that's that's a good like I don't know if that's a healthy approach or not. Maybe but that's feels gameplay depends at what point in the relationship I think early in a relationship is probably pretty healthy. I think like to just be like there'd seeing somebody else like somebody else more. Whatever it's not GONNA work out. We're GONNA do an episode about like when you're with somebody you know it's not GonNa work out walking away and like a year and a half and then I become a past if somebody didn't want to fight for it a little bit but like drew a couple of months. I don't know let's just call it what it is and if you guys don't know if you watch the show you know but if you don't. Demi Demi was dating a woman and then they brought her on the show. They let her stay which was pretty wild like. I always think about and I like to look at both sides. The man did that and he was like by the way have this girlfriend now. She's GonNa come here and stay America would lose shit but people were more supportive because it was a female male female relationship and it was felt different than I've amended that but it was just kind of wild and so you turned into this very sympathy sympathetic character of like oh you're seeing escrowing out or other persons here just to watch them. Yeah I think again like it's a it's a heterogeneous show that it's knowing that that was changing being some of that which is like. I have to let go of this being about me because guess what like the part about me is like my person so yeah instead of being matter like leading that free free now I need. I need to move on. I need to move forward right to the next person I don't know it's starts and on the island Islandia Liking. I thought you guys were a good match. She's great. I mean I've heard good things about it because that's all I have to say about her. Since then. There's just that weird other stuff that happened but I think a lot of people probably a little bit younger like maybe like more college age no break up with people and then have to be around the person meeting someone new and like. I liked what you said you want to take these brand terrell life because like that happens a lot you have to be around the person and even if you can separate you can still see them on social media and you're still it kind of around a you know. It's hard to take yourself out of it yeah. That's a good point but like what are you asking about dating multiple people back going thinking back. Take I think this is similar to either some camp or like high school college when you are always around each other because the same classes or whatever kind of things and that's I think when people are are dating multiple people at the same time which is basically what this show. This show is different ways yeah. Let's talk about it. Let's take a quick break to talk about some of our partners for this episode and we'll be back to talk about how and our whole life okay. I'm going to talk to you guys about fabrics. We are getting into lugging season in everybody. It'll be out here shorts anymore. Fuck it might thirties. I got cellulite. God Well Your Tan though if you can't own at Tanit okay so we love fabrics you guys. If you don't know how it works you take the style pop quiz for your personalized. Alpha recommendations shop from thousands of styles curated for you and then you can check out as a guest overcome. Vip We're giving you the deal for when you become a vip we mentioned up top thank you get like two pairs of. Leggings for twenty four bucks so and also with VIP fifty percent off regular regular prizes free shipping and all these additional perks their workout series and stuff like that so I love Fab Latics I think truly truly believe in my heart of hearts that it is the best quality quality you can get for. These prices like I'm a very big proponent like you get what you pay for but I feel like these are lesser prices than other type of high quality workout gear like Lululemon and the like and they they are super high quality. I love the leggings. I spotted a camera lagging that I think I'm definitely a need for the fall. Just the basic leggings. I Love Sports Bras. I honestly in some of my favorite sports bras. I do yoga pretty much a lot of workout classes I do. I just wear leggings and a sports bra and I'm loving them. They're cute. They're flattering <hes>. This picture I posted recently recently was like Oh my God your body. I was like about exports probably get from Ashley. She works out and I don't think so and I just can't recommend enough but get on this. You guys and we have a great deal with through. I love all the designs are done in house. You cannot find pieces anywhere else. You were never gonNA run into a WHO. Were at best situation out your workout class price comparisons you go to any other store. You won't get these prices. I can't say it enough. <hes> you can get an entire outfit for half the price of most traditional retailers and they do new styles. 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I'm talking about native which I haven't talked about before but why native is they make save symbol affect products that people use the bathroom every day with trusted ingredients and trusted performance so we're talking about their deodorant. There's a lot of shit into yoder and that is really not good finished. Real close close to your titties. I'm saying is that where you are what I'm saying that the aluminum and stuff that goes on. It's so close to your breasts. There's a correlation with breast cancer. You like out here like roast them like what's so basically. They're saying that there's fewer simpler ingredients so you know that it's it's a healthy thing to put into your body because apparently it's near debts. They have a wide variety of science. It is for men and for women. If you want to get some for your man it comes in these very packages that the packaging is so cute and they change the sense throughout the season <hes> they sent is coconut vanilla which Isla there's lavender and rose cucumber cucumber and meant there's Eucalyptus and mant also. I just think that like it's also one of those things like there's a billion products out there. I just wanted somebody to tell me like what's the best one is. I liked using. I used to write when it came to year van him to the apartment. Super q greater travel with thrown your bag like I also like this co good size sized to like throw in your bag for the day a like teeny tiny but not any time I mean you know what I mean other deodorants or like ugly ugly. The CAP stays on these aren't gonNA fall out and have all your stuff off covered. I mean this is great for college students with your books the call yeah it's good for like when you workout cops okay good call so as always we're going to be the discount you can get twenty percent off your first purchase by visiting native. Deodorant Dot Com and entering Promo Code. Dj during checkout that's twenty percent off your first purchase by going to native Deodorant Dot Com and entering the Promo Code gee-gee APP checkout. Okay we're back and is Ashley said we're talking whole life with Derek and dating multiple people in sort of the same circle Derek. What's it like to Catan of people on the show is crazy because I can't keep up and so people people don't realize what the show which is wild is that it is for a one month long so what you were. You felt like you've seen these people for days or weeks and it's been hours like it's really kind of crazy. I feel like people forget that demis relationship was what week yeah which is like okay if you we distract ourselves so much and I think it's is a good reminder coming back from it to like get the fuck off of my phone more and like not sit at home and watch net flicks need to it's not like a great thing for me or anybody and because you cut all that stuff away and you all you have is other people in like building really asking people whether it's like friendships or intimate whatever in a different way and which phone is buzzing and that's knowing my eighties acting as you're saying. You're like trying to get away from your exact. I think a lot of people the vibrates till on her phone do not me. I can't nuts your doesn't vibrate here right. It's always always ah yes people. I think people don't realize that like you guys have nothing on on on on any of those shows no phones no magazines like that's why you'll see people like fucking and working out the laying. Cabana or do push ups on the beach basically back in the thirteen hundred options. That's all all you can do is just like me. That's why people see like a couple who are just literally draped on top of each other all the time or people who are and it's really sweaty buddy working out and trying to like peacock in some way boys girls over here but dating other people. I don't know I always think back to our parents. Generation did a lot more like dating around and Dana People at the same time that I remember is in high school. When I came home by early eighteen my boyfriend that we start dating in high school when I came him and he cheated on me and my mom relax and she was like what are you talking about your eighteen. What do you what do you mean. He cheated. Why don't you kiss somebody else and she's like why who cares. I mean my parents had to kind of be like she's upset. She's really upset. I think my Mama this whole view of like I was dating someone when I met your a father like we were. We dated a bunch of people. That's the crazy thing because I may not meet whoever you can date whoever you can until you find the person you want to standstill with. Do you know there's like some weird thing I read once wants like eighty five percent people that end up like married. We're dating someone else at the time that they met the person yeah and yeah so I think we see as such a negative thing or a bad thing but the truth is that comes back to what we were just talking about before you can't force somebody to be like something or feel something yeah and why like why the hell do we have these negative views on when somebody's just like sorry not my person. That's that's how it is instead we go to our friends or like over God. He's such a Dick. You know I have a question for you. Then I think everybody will probably very different feeling about this but like when you are casually dating around your day like three or four people and we all dating apps that we can go on seven days a week and you have instagram. I'm sure there's a million girls in your. DM's every thanks John Paul Jones for making people I there was I kid you not. I got like two thousand in the course of our when that scene showed aired where he said that I that's what I do. I was like I I didn't expect this. Everyone would be like everyone was like hey we heard and they're like Oh. My God dare checks. They just like went in so that is so funny. That is very funny little slots. I'm here for it. You know what you want something. Go get it okay so I have a question for you. When do you think that you have to make the call to like be monogamous or share the information like. Should you tell somebody that you're dating other people. Do you tell people that you're dating other other people. I think this is a huge gray area. There's no right answer right. Totally I think at first like you just assume that they are. I don't know right and I I have met people who who are like. We went on a date with somebody else recently. I think it's like it's all about communication is just talking about that and that's why like I say they were surprised that I was like well. I went on did this with somebody else instead of instead of doing it and like hiding it being straightforward with that and I'm sure that because of that there's some people who I've met who are like Nope oops. I can't do that. That's fine like that's this is where I am in my stage of what I'm able to be open with you. I'm doing my thing uh-huh. Oh well in that yeah. I think a lot of it comes down to ego to people just want to be the only one yes and it's kind of like girls feel that way and they're like I'm being this guy and I really like him and he's dating someone else else and it's like well then you're going to do with somebody else like you can do the same thing. There's a point at which it's like. You can't ask other people to not even that guy. I dated all summer or like he sort of asked me. We're GONNA how he phrased it but I was like I'm not gonNA ask. You don't do other people because I don't think we're there and I'm not gonNa tell you that. I'm not either but like if if you don't WanNa talk about it. Let's not talk about it. Then you know you know many people hold onto that too and they're like what onto why they want to be exclusive somebody but they don't want to be the one to say it so I don't WanNa be resent. Some I WANNA say at. I guess it ultimately comes. I mean people worry about just like sex too. I mean that's that's that's when you have that conversation like I don't know I guess just if you don't want to have those conversations just use condoms across the board but I hate condoms just Kinda like are you fucking anybody. Only I'm only asking because my doesn't hate them but I don't want to use them at all all and if we do we use condoms or sponsor but I get mad when we say this. I'm like write. It penetrates me. I'm like I'm cleaning you. Clean also guys guys. Joke is okay as the half safe sex don't do we is healthy like we're not advising anything like whatever we could get necessary tomorrow who's to say people get all worked up about this but I think that's what it comes down to where you're like. I don't I don't want to have this. What are we conversation but I'm worried about my vagina and the health of it you know I don't know I don't have many thoughts on that yeah in my case your dog and everybody hey. What's funny still to this day here? I am thirty two years old and I still get nervous going biking condoms you ooh. I thought I was so nervous. I the first time nobody I bought condoms this summer. With this guy we went to this onto the Bodega and I was like to condoms and kind of dragging. She's like and I was like what like what are the like. Those kind of like black is using shows like magnums and I was like we don't need those writing the guy. I was like whatever small white people use and he continues data for a while also guys while Oh USA you brought them up a couple of times that next week full download and all that and just letting you know yes people are like why would you bring it up but not tells and we're and what happened next next week. Derrick mark what kind of okay we're gonNA take a pause. I'm back and do the story yeah. Let's we'll take another quick break. Okay conham sponsor. Hey this would have been perfect. Okay first up. 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That's buffy Dot Com Promo Digi for twenty dollars off anything so again uncomforter- sheets and pillowcases again great gifts great for yourself. Get a sex rock Anna Buffy Fang okay. We're back DEREK CONDOM CONNOR every three to one so this is like I was in high school and we'd been dating for like five months or something I like that you know. It was like a good decent amount of time to be like okay. I think we're ready for this. Yeah blowjob yet. Yes Oh nice. We weren't sure people were giving blow jobs in high school. In Iowa you know about that yet in Iowa hadn't come around yeah well. I I only Jewish Kosgei blowjobs in highschool inside and knowing there's no Jews in Iowa for sure. I didn't meet a Jewish person. 'til I moved to the East Coast and we don't have horns. It's crazy so I for like a month basically like she she won't you have condoms and yet and I would be like Ya. Don't worry about it but I I didn't have them. I was so nervous to go and buy scaring. Finally it was like are and are like finals tests so we knew that we were going to have in the day because you got to go home from school. Yeah like in the middle of that is when you would talk. There's still working right. If you didn't lose your virginity at four o'clock in the afternoon show late schools already at one o'clock. It was a long walk. Yeah we have it to fifteen and then you've got warm it up a little ed saying it was mid day. 'cause you had finals so it was like study hall as your parents are still working you go to. Wendy's and you get chicken sandwich and then you guys yeah but I had finally got them that morning and I go in and it's like five thirty in the morning. I go walmart going back where you got your pants pants. It's that I'm wearing really great. Josh designer and they're from Walmart in Iowa. Johnston Jogger Pant does right you love them. Don't believe these are from Mama can check the tag anyway. Take your pants. We it is way anyone's shutting me at my panic. They are expected to be the one Florida. It's me from Jacob off. Let me check the so it's like my coaches daughter. WHO's there of course so now. It's even worse. I got like fifteen things to wrap around. The box. Talks have gone so that it's not not seeing whatever so we owner house start getting busy and she's like the condoms yes S. So I run upstairs. Yeah grab them good to go. Virginie's broke in for both of us great great news good experience. Yeah had a good good. I experience yeah time to go back to school can't find the keys to the car. Go back upstairs. The condom boxes on the driver's seat. My keys are sitting on the driver's exit. Car doors locked. I'm parked in her. Dad's parking spot happy. It's like get a ride back to school and had to have as we had to. Have the sex talk <music> time why it was the most because you know like Oh. I wonder why his car thing he's going to do is look in the cars parts of first thing. I would do it daughter. I'd be like what is this little shit how it in his car first thing. I would do what he parked in my spot absolutely God. Take your daughter but yikes had you met them before. We're still friends this day once a week. Thanks so much for you. Was He. Your coach I know he was he was coach. Oh my coaches. which is that's daughter? Wow God Christian. I can feel Christian vibes of course of course Jesus I was. I talk about reality and dating like real in real life glad that you brought this up. Do you feel like it hurts helps. I I mean clearly. You're you have more notoriety people. You can people. Dm You and like you just said and stuff like that. But do you feel like there's a stigma or don't WanNa Donahue or wanted to. Do you think you have to be careful like I want to talk about all of it. It's both actually personally. It's the same thing again. Do you guys obviously talk about this all the time because it is a real thing the ones who unlike I wanNA actually date. Her are the ones who go yeah. It's Kinda dumb that you did that. That's back. You're on the show so I'll tell you story about the day that I met you. I'm like what a year ago the three of us at a party and I like saw you across the room and I was like oh he's so cute and my friend was like oh he was on the bachelor and I was like Oh. I'm not interested no no offense and then I came up to really talking and I was I had such a good time talking to you is so much fun and then I was like Oh. He's just like a normal charming guy but I feel like I don't know. I don't know if people really think it's greater my initial. A knee jerk was I would never date somebody that was on reality TV for a couple of reasons. I was like what's wrong with somebody wants to do that. Oh for sure other part is I was like I can't be out. I'm in my thirties thirties. I can't compete with the twenty four year. Olds Slat into your offer to blow you so I'm that I would love for you to talk about but that's exactly it right like it's not it's it's good in the sense like that's what you WanNa do and that was actually what the whole argument. You saw like come up. That's what you WanNa do if you even want girls that signed near DMZ want to hook up with with them. Go ahead but that's up to you. I'm not here to tell you what to do. Yeah because you're asking me that question like Oh girl side into your dams and can you do to camp you. You can do whatever you want. That's up to you man but it's like if if you're if you're trying to pass if you want to date somebody for longer than a week. It's it's it's harder because then you don't know who to trust. I think and that's like the biggest problem from a dating perspective is like I don't trust people to actually do what Oh you did by the way which is like oh I got to know him and now I know him. I think that our too much surprised is a few more times. We really data super together think I didn't get the prime. CD Like touches cheer when when Rena makes a joke acute touchy Hewlett Brad or phases read. That's probably just sheepishly. She was generally later and you could see me blushing now. Okay so you prefer somebody to be more like like not into it but then gets to know you and for somebody to be exactly exactly like Raynham okay. Wow this really happened. I only from Iowa now. I gotTa do definitely prefer somebody who like Addison Addison Yeah. I think that's like itself is enough right. I just met somebody normally and because of that. I know that they're not they don't care too much. That's really what imagine anything more than anything like. They don't care so much. It's just it's just like somebody else to them. And I feel like you can probably pick up on that pretty easy conversation like if how do you feel like I feel like you when you meet a guy on a shrimp because guys on it so you have a super huge platform to write you are. I don't know I think it I'm like you would immediately. GRANA immediately turn turns me off a little bit but then it's like. Am I being hypocritical like I put my whole life out there a two. It's just on a different format. No I meant for you and I know you talk about it every day but like if a guy approaches you specific and like if you're on a first date with a guy listener. I think this is interesting. Do you want a guy like actually I listen to your show and I love it. Yeah it's it's. I don't know it's weird things. That's Derek feels the same way. It's like you have a different level. I Love I hate to even use the word fame for us but you know you're on TV. We have this podcast but we still have a following and you know we still people know who we are and it's my biggest fear that someone just wants to fuck me so we can say that and same with you and I hate the thought of it. Do you get that vibe sometimes times of course that's ninety five of it. They thought John Krasinski absolutely do. I'm the Walmart version of him <music>. I'm where is Walmart Walmart sponsor this wall. I'll be your Walmart. Emily Blunt and that's her name. Yeah Alright Everley. By what kind do you like. People are GonNa WanNa know this okay. So kind of girls are like looks looks. Aren't that important to me. I mean it's just like obviously attraction action matters so I don't. I don't have specific thing. I shouldn't say that <hes> I think that's good. I like something like is that our is ah the almond shape or whatever the people say. It's like usually a thing yeah. Great Great Brown is kind of guy are natural tale. There's aren't extensions minor extensions Glaucoma tear. Do you feel like you've had a glow off. Have you had any worked on pause on wells the other week he asked me if I could be a serial real killer and I pause and he was like wait. Why are you like maybe I don't now resides talking about mindhunter or like he just volunteered this tale so what's the pay but like for me what it is is somebody who I'm a big personality and I want to be met like equal there yeah in like somebody will call me <music> out for things if I have like opinionated disagree basically just want them to have their own opinions. That's just such a weird thing but a lot of women are taught that like they shouldn't do that any rain and I can't. I cannot relate at all so it's also like I don't know I I mean obviously that but there's plenty of guys that just want a submissive submissive not opinionated. Oh there's a ton of guys want that wrong with wanting and I think that there's a lot of guys that say they want somebody. That's opinionated and they get it. It and they're like well. I don't want this. I agree with you now well. Maybe they're like. I wanted like on a on a scale of opinions. I wanted like a seven year like thirteen. It's too much I love those long people. The thing is the way I wanNA is someone who's not an asshole about it. Yeah there's people who have opinions and they're like no one hundred percent percent right but somebody who likes set speak their mind but then also listens to you that's huge. That's a I think that's there's not many people that do that. You guys probably do that because you're also like doc doing this. This is actually what you do day out too by the way we always word contrary and like some people just have to argue with everything. It's just stop. It like like let it go. Let me point devil's advocate here. Oh God golic and I hate that person that you're like the sky is blue and they're like well. Actually they just like come on. It's just a reflection of the scene okay John Paul Jones you. Those people go belong like on read it somewhere in their own yeah in their own subcategories avenue. Do you actually really in the well actually person you get kind of political on instagram which I like because I feel I want to say that Bachelor nation could be a little right-leaning. Just I feel like what what we've seen the people that they pick our seem like they cater to that type of viewership and I like that you. You're not like so outspoken but you stand up for what what you believe in and I do. You feel like does that to you. In a person gets more. I think the big thing with whether or not you talk about how you feel politically from a lot of like different reality stars where like anybody who's been in the public eye. They don't want blowback like they're afraid of that they they they need more fans aunts. They WANNA have more fans than that. That's because that's maybe like the only thing that they do so I think because of the fact that I have my own separate thing that I do my normal nine to five boring job I am. I don't care so much. About how many fans do I have for me. This is a representation of who I am and if I think stuff I would talk to my friends about this stuff then. I'm also going to put it out there in the same way you know and so like I don't have any fear at all you know. It's like it's laughable. Some of the opinions of people have love and I think like highlighting laughable that is sometimes is important for people to see like they should see how stupid some of the Shit that people send me an applied to my like like political thoughts or I don't know just like I feel like that's just life to politics is not just politics is also just texted impacts more like. I don't get political. I'm like do you live a life in this country. I also think if you have a voice and you don't use it to stand up for what you believe in your voice means nothing like I talked about his and people think me thank us I mean I'm really outspoken about my beliefs on social media people say thank you and I'm like for literally what like they don't expect it and for me. It should be the norm. It's like why are you. Why are you not using your voice. Why did you build this brand for just just to please everybody like I think you're always going to get ahead by speaking up for what you believe in in in not like a pick aside way but just for what you think is right. Is there anything you're passionate about that. Keeps you up at night like why are you not using using your voice yeah do you not we go out and say like well. I'm not listening. We're rarely political but we're a female founded business. Of course we're GonNa talk about abortion and things like that. We've got people come for us and say like I'm not listening to your show anymore and you're gonNA. You'RE GONNA lose thousands listeners. We're like that's fine. You don't have to agree with US and you're not to listen to our show but we're not going to not talk about women's rights and women's body just because hundreds of thousands of people don't like it. That's fine so here's my back to what I said. Yeah you can disagree if somebody but also still listen to their opinion right and that's like somebody who is one hundred percent. I cut that off. That's fine. I don't that's not the kind of person I want. I have I have people who think very differently than me who are really close friends but we both can openly talk about it and and they'd be like no nodding really derail the trails out there. I'm talking about abortion. I'm talking about other topics like what Bachmann Komo News Talk Okay Gotcha money. I WanNa talk about this 'cause. I didn't think we were going to really talk about this but we want to do a whole episode on and I'm but I'm curious to hear what you think. What do you think about like girls doing thirst traps and stuff on instagram Missouri Line. Do you find do you feel like guys are like Oh. I see what she's doing Wayne. They're like dumb and they're like no. That's hot. There's a line because there's definitely thought about. That's definitely third straps. I see and I'm like we. Let's talk about what made you think of this. I don't know Derek hough. I wanted to see him post that they're strapped strap. Not Why don't you post more. Thor's trap is I. I really don't you're guy. It's it's a weird is posing is not for me about dating APPS. Girls Girls say over and over and over like I don't want a guy with a pitch shirtless. Literally like fifteen south is doc fees and it's all them making duck face or guys looking laughed. I don't WanNa look at a guy just staring off into the distance. It's like portrait mode. Photo personnels curls weird so okay third strapless talk about him for girls okay. <hes> I WANNA say no. I don't like them but I constantly only find myself just being like okay. Let's go through this. I'm looking and I'm like all right not liking. Oh I talk with Ross recently only about this by the way Brian Dick Orient Yeah. No episode called the Guy who broke his dick over a year ago. I I guess you guys are friends. Also look masturbated both U. That's okay. What does that mean there so you can imagine talking sex with since you can't. I just don't know that I can imagine it is. I wish you could see is right now. What is eighty second episode. I've never seen rain as so comfortable uncomfortable and nervous nervous. You're usually the one making people uncomfortable. I know I can't make Derek uncomfortable. Maybe that's what it is like. I look at him and he's like you can't get to me. He really is he's. He's out doing you yeah. It's it's hard for me okay. So are you dating girl. I have okay yeah. I think like the tough the thing that is you have to not care and be like very confident in the fact that they're not also doing that because of the fact that they're trying to find new guys that that's just like the way that they get lax. Yeah Okay Yeah but the thing about that is like eventually like that has never worked out because of the fact that the if they're so focused on their phone the attention that they're getting from there so I think that's like the negative thing about it actually at their core they're like I need attention Tasmania exactly but I think there's traps here and their you know their foot fifth post or something like instagram story only what instagram program story a third strap every day and you want to read and I like I don't I wouldn't I wouldn't judge that you seem like the kind of Guy Like 'cause rain and I ah do them every once in a while and we like own it and self deprecating about it and I think you seem like you'd be the kind of guy like that like I all all it go into address the room if I'm feeling like then and I like the lighting and I'll be like they're having a half off sale today and it's just like a clear Thurs trap like I like to poke fun at it. We all know what we're doing to see my body right right but I'm GonNa give a funny caption so exactly the ones that are too much. Is You had the head wow I didn't actually realize that until just now that's the ones I have been like okay well. Maybe we'll see what's ironic. These athletes where they're like. They have a quote by someone famous. That's not at all related to what they're doing. Marilyn Monroe quote or it's like it's like a selfie like a sexy duck face selfie and it's like everybody get out and vote today and they're dead series fair like immigrants like save the immigrants and they're like the duck face like his terrible person. I can't stand because it's like twice. You're reaching for attention in one both ways. Oh it's a double race okay. Here's what I will say. I could never post something like like that and knock it roasted by everybody in my life and that's what I like about my friends. I posted something like a few weeks ago because I was thirst dropping somebody in my I- apartment I was wearing like a little crop and a pair of like boy shorts and I was just like work attire like nine. AM thirst trap and my girlfriend immediately my vagina lines at nine am Tuesday and that's the kind of people I want in my life. I've absolutely that's why after all the attention ah still the same person because my friend hasn't changed. It's so accurate. It's like your friends. Keep you grounded or your family members. I mean who is the girl out here like. What are your friends like that. Nobody is making fun of you because like I post. I like the Ironic Shit and then I post people making fun. The Ironic Shit like I posted all the text messages after that getting made fun of Sir absolutely so like I don't know make your Thurs traps funnier girls i. I don't know I mean but again. Not Everybody is funny yeah. I just think I've never in my life ever GonNa offend people with us. I don't care I've never in my life life taking a selfie and been like that's going on. The feed no even matt like every once in a while. I'll take a guess. It'll be my story every once. I don't even know like I've looked at some people speed. I'm like where is what do you do day to day. There's one that like it's all self. I know what your face looks like. It's crazy to me like someone's like there. It has nailed it nailed. It's going to be a permanent posts. What steps did you go through to. The one that like this is my the most annoying one to me and this is probably a little bit controversial because it's like it's people who probably need a little bit of support and attention. It's when they ask for that right like a whole nine paragraphs long so I've been such things. This happened this happened. I've been struggling a little bit lately so I'm just GonNa Post this because I I look sexy in this one and I'm I'm just I see that and my brain just goes. Why are you posting on Instagram. I am to get the positive like that's not. That's don't do that. It's not it's not good. That's the worst now now. You're like positive reinforcement of the worst possible bowl tension right and that's where it all starts. That's how every instagram thought was was born. Yeah what's with that post nine people being like I've been going through electorally electorally like really hard but they won't say what it is that you they get flooded with comments. I hope you're okay what's going on. We're like home for a few days for a tragedy and like we Dr Stratton sympathy say he'll maybe someone I dated and it was like the most sympathy I drop. It was like he was like it's it's been really rough but we we made it through or something like that and then all the people are like what's wrong at the same time as it is like a Selfie. That's looking whatever ever you know I don't know yet. You're so right. It's so funny where you're like that person admitting that they're looking for validation on instagram which is I hate to knock what anybody's anybody's doing but I'm also like. I just hope you figure it out. I hope you find other ways to deal with it because it's not real go to go to therapy. They don't post that on instagram yeah. They viewed looking for some help or a dog. Do you said you go to therapy. Always Always Guy Cry Derrick Derrick. That's really what it is at the catalyst you in the car and you dial therapist. You felt the release and you just go pay. Somebody let me do this weekly which is kind of a weird thing to think about. This is just like happening right now but you just said like you can't get to me but I'm also a sensitive guy like I am sensitive guy. No I just meant. I can't make you uncomfortable. I could like I can make you feel bad about yourself. Probably we start. We start the rose why we brought you here today. Yeah you're sensitive guy. Are you wearing man bracelets. I'm so glad you brought up the bracelets. 'cause I've been like where's the window to bring up the brakes. It's a new thing for me is trying it it out because the therapist she she's like try your emotional side where bracelets the first time. I put one on like all I can think of is I don't know if <unk> friends watchers but when Ross Lake tries to wear leather bracelet and his hand like blows on friends yeah yeah so awesome all that leather because I didn't happen. I was like okay yeah. I think that Guy Yeah Okay so you cried once on the bachelor and start going to therapy also. She's like a spiritual life coach for people so sweet so too. I've a sex rock on my bed. What those are friends especially when she was like what we talked about this in on the intro and she gave me a stone put under my bad for sexual prosperity and this new apartment you can check it out later yeah. I'M GONNA I'M GONNA leading after we were acquired. You could stay okay so your mom back to your mom. My mom turned into sex rock. I'm making them uncomfortable. Nice work fan correct. Saudi Saudi had to because of that. I've always been a talker so I'm the one if there's anything that happens in a relationship chip that because of I think she and I would would talk through any issues or anything like going through the kid my mom so if like in a relationship I've been issue with some with the person I'm with you know some people get mad and they have to go for a walk or something and then they come back and they're they're fine. It's all gone. I have to talk to you so right away. I don't I don't let it I can't let it go to find a good spot right not to find understanding or whatever and that annoys some people but that's I think why like I also okay. Therapies just made sense for me at that point too. I got to recognize that I think basil different as they get older. I think I've realized that my reaction to something in the moment is actually not how I'm GonNa feel in two thousand four from that's everybody but it's not how I'm GonNa feel in twenty four hours so I knew like just sort. Take a beat and separate because like I know what you're going to get for me. Minute one is like anger and in a few hours or a day you're GonNa get like compassionate and understanding so I do personally really need some space. We'll do you do you have you. Do you know the Anagram. Obviously I haven't done it yet so we should actually episode on the last ball my I yeah I don't. I only know it from reading Chelsea Handler's most recent book life will be the death of me highly recommended but I just know what I am because I'm the same as her and it's like what your initial reaction. It's based on what your initial reaction reaction is faced with conflict or something like that and it's like anger fear or sadness. I think an anger beyond so I can't react to the moment. It's not good good. I've got I've got to take a few breaths like I guess she's boring lanes without me. She's got on boys talked about. We talked about earlier and I've gotten better but do you feel like that's a flaw that are you saying you work on in therapy. No no no. It's not a fly knowing myself. I think because of that that's why I was like naturally drawn to speak to somebody to <hes> this therapy. I love talking about myself. Why do you think I got a podcast. You were wonderful on the show. At least what we saw. During is across the great came across you you had somebody coming at you really aggressively and they were also unwilling to <hes> talk which was to watch you diffuse that with this crazy person that was just in your face but also not willing to talk was very crazy. I've never evers really seen someone act that wild and I was the first time I've ever been in that intensive. <hes> you just don't even know what to call it. Do you think that it irrational DASS. This obviously amped up for television a little bit on his end but like it's just like that. I think he's just like that like I think he just snapped John and and also you know not to get too but like the way the show works is you are a little that. He said he was tired anxious but I don't know when I drink a whole bunch and you're you're like you're you're kind of a different version of yourself people on that show it probably do have like hangover anxiety and their heat exhausted and then the cameras in your face. I don't I'm not all the reality. TV shows are low like a little bit right. Let's get people in in this crazy. Stay in love them comfortable being in like a different in different instate yeah when you do you talk about relationships and therapy obviously. What do you feel like your biggest issue that you feel like you need to work through. When it comes to relationships Asian ships like we all have our own our thing my maybe she was just like walls right now because of the fact that I protect myself so much like don't trust people because of the show yeah yeah exactly that's fair. That's totally like my thing I go. I waver between like just be Thuc entrusting too much and then and be like nope not trusting anybody just like back and forth and I haven't been able to find like comfortable. I would be scared if I were you. I'd be frightened of area. I mean you really really half a million followers on national television my first thought would be what is this person want for me. Your great guy good looking girl the things but like I mean Ashley touched her leg again guys like when I think about what I want. I want somebody who's like really really proud of me and so excited and like so excited to tell people what I do but not not necessarily somebody. That's a fan hard to find that balance like I want to be be a Fatemi 'cause. They're proud of me. Not a fan like a fan girl. Yes you now. Have you dated someone since you started the bachelor or Bachelorette. I guess that was not part of the whole thing like have you have relationship with yeah and a couple girl who I actually went to college with. I'd like went the other hours ago. This is somebody I know so I can trust them. Yeah yeah well yeah. That was the whole thing. She then cheated on me later so so I couldn't trust her either. I know now and then there's there's been a couple of other people and it's always been again like somebody who is basically like yeah that shows dumb you shouldn't have done that and and then I for me and perfect you don't care but the difference is exactly what you said. Usually that has broken down to where they're like ashamed to tell people or ashamed that people come up to me and and to me now. I'm like okay. Wait a minute because that's this is a part of who I am ashamed. That's that's bullshit like. That's not okay right now. You're now like I don't understand why you're comfortable dating me because if you can't if you can be proud of all of me you were supportive of all of them then. This shouldn't be anything that we're doing in the first place. Oh absolutely I can't. I can't imagine if someone just demeaned something that I did. She has this is podcast. We don't really talk about you know like it would be yeah. No don't take that but you're not GonNa Change Your Life. I mean I've talked about this. A couple times on on the podcast but like somebody said to me like somebody is public. Public is you is my is my worst nightmare. That's what he said to me and I was like so devastated by like walked out of the bar and I was crying straight but I was a now like action talk about this so much like I'm not gonNA. Change my life or somebody so it's like if I'm your worst nightmare then that's how that person feels and that's just gonNa out how it's going to be. I'm not going to change my whole career and my life offend my friendships structure and my best friend and my business because of one person no matter what goes back to what's the perfect picture that we pay like what's the picket fence picture and how stupid that is how bullshit that is that like if people can't just accept others for who they are you know maybe this person wanted not make much money and they choose to like be a social worker. Whatever that's like if that if that's your barrier you know like I'm ashamed of the fact that they are not making whatever like six figures a year. That's that's something that you can really easily. Look at me like well. That's really shitty that they would feel that way about that person right. How is that any different than what you're talking about right now. It's actually literally the same the same thing it's it's doesn't matter what it is not like this episode. This is great it up with some other stuff as I'm sure yeah we're GONNA okay. I've gotten really deep I. I'm going to ask you a question if you I wanna take some photos now we didn't we didn't want us to be like a solely bachelor episode because he's actually this great person and he's interesting smart-looking. WanNa talk about what other stuff with him but we did post on her instagram story what people what kind of questions they had for you so we are going to answer okay actual nation questions and if anything's to private you'll tell us no spoiler okay so yeah do do you just run through them. You WanNa do it. I Okay I have I have have I just want to lob the first question to you and then she can do all the questions. I wasn't talking to you Derek. It's not about me. I'm so the first class she was earlier. We're talking about the. I have a girlfriend that one the bachelor years ago. My first question for her was what a lot of people last is when you're not like on a date or filming what do you do all day. I mean on the Bachelorette. We had a bunch of people brought guitars of course because everyone wanted to be a professional musician everyone to be a jed. Ed that really worked out and I don't think anyone has vowed kicked off a career yet from doing that so I don't know why people keep thinking they can. You're trying you do so you thirst trapped the guitarist. Oh a little bit but we haven't even talked about your career off. You WanNa follow dare at Ah there. You like you like black and white wait. I've been meaning to tell you I I didn't I didn't masturbate to this but I probably could have like like slow dancing in a burning room one of my favorite songs you really got into it John Floating senior burning room. Would you some program for this. <hes> garage band graduated and I was like this is what I love that song. That's what the song also describes every relationship. I've ever been exactly exactly anyway right. That's why I can get into it so much. Every relationship is is always a burning but here we are. We're still dancing. We're still doing it. I'm still gonNA run this crowned still smiling giving him a Bali. You can watch him singing into a microphone with his guitar. I'm sorry that's what you do all day long. You just sit around drink while you're by yourself of course and they've instituted this new thing where you can have two drinks per hour. That's a bunch of articles about that now okay but I'm just because they think they want people to not they don't want. They don't think that's not what the show is about. How Stupid Bravo show how stupid they like like wanted to still be about like the relationships and stuff so you know. Just try whatever it's doing this for twelve hours a day all day every day just talk so they want you to have truth serum but not too much true. Sierra just to to our all right. Let's go through this. I guess we'll do we have plead the Jeff. If you can't answer it okay go as far as you go. Play the fourth okay number one. Obviously I WANNA know this to you. Would you be the bachelor I yeah. I think I think when it comes down to that question you know people. There's a lot of back and forth on this. Actually I'm going to ramble on this one the time so <hes> I think this comes back to people being afraid of someone seeing they fully are on Mike in Public and trying to do the thing that they're supposed to do and that's a PR thing going back for years and years and years of course so people are always like well. I don't know it's it's like a really big responsibility and like it's the lead on a TV. Show right. It's not you're not becoming president of the United States. That's it says the same these days is the perfect launching point to the president after that. You should be the bachelor okay long as you know who you are and you don't think that that would change from being on the show if people are like not sure of themselves. They don't do it very much. I know who I am and so why would I worry about that changing me in some way. That's a super cool thing I can always go back and be a banker anchor at any time so I think it's I think it's ridiculous how much people downplay that and I think it's it's more about <hes> <hes> them trying to put a certain image out for themselves and again. That's stupid like we've had enough of that. People need to stop doing that stuff. I love the. You answer that way. I I just think people people I mean. Don't get me started the black bachelor. I have a lot of thoughts but I mean people overwhelmingly a word I think like I saw a lot of you kind of late in the game and then just so much Mike aac but Mike for the most part yeah. Mike is Commenting on Demi. lovato's INSTAGRAM's Demi lovato posted a really great instagram post showing her body on edited edited and her cellulite cellular was the Hashtag. It was really great and Mike Mike Virtually Mike got in there because these these bachelor people or dating tyler allegedly dating gee-gee he is dating or her grandma died. He went with her to the furious flew over to Europe yeah for a funeral in when he dated like major majors they are. You guys are really huge celebrities today. It's so so while I think wells broke that barrier wells walks with the girl from Sarah. Yeah Okay I have a question. I think this is funny. How much sex actually happens during Bachelor in paradise. I think originally like that. I didn't do it the first time around like after the Bachelorette because people were like Oh. It has a bad rap. It's just like them having sex on the beach the whole time you're like. I'm not going to play in this. Extra may know at the time I'm celebrate celebrate now therapy and our bracelets. God come on this show. You can't take a joke. Osso fuck. You didn't even say anything just trying going to get her back by putting my hand on her leg and she won't know what to say but so there's there's booms keep it there. We're told you stop and they have the AC in them so that's where all I would be doing was fucking like that's what they see is. All I'm doing is fucking or or do you just go there. You pretend like you're going to ask for Bait so I'm in the boom boom room. masturbating we gotta talk about look so hot and every man is is beads of sweat. Mexico in this tape. It's it's in June so it's very quickly quickly and four hours a week kick its allies. June Mexico and it doesn't look like there's any AC in the bedroom areas right. No there's noise. Why why don't they put in the bedroom? Guess fans. This is like the resort that they have which is like buicks really is but but that's one of the things they just don't. Oh have but that's that's a whole thing in a lot of like Central America yeah. It's just like to open yeah exactly thank God. Can you imagine filming a TV show at a Marriott now that they saw on point you know I'm a huge iron macy. AC basically around the clock. I love my I should be more. I mean people are gonNA listen to episode. It's GonNa be like the Dan soder episode or who was really flirting with people. Oh really liked you for Dan soder well. He used to be his dad but he's not anymore. I do is do we need a new Dan now. He has oh come on whose current DAD become body trainer. Oh yeah obviously sorry I was thinking about the guests while we're talking about talking about dogs. I have to say this tweet this favorite tweets about when people were really on twitter like Derek for the Bachelor and it was two screen shots Derek of your follows on instagram and and she tweeted. Can we talk about how Derek recently followed twenty plus dog accounts in a row. This is the kind of bachelor energy we need in our lives and also someone please check on him so I was talking with my therapist. I knew your therapist is going to come into your dog. They're like you need to get bracelets first of all because the actor and star following dogs on Instagram I mean the thing is like going back to our thirst trap conversation. I I just got so tired of seeing the same shit all the time on my feet and it was like all people looking for attention and I mean of course this is people with dogs who are looking for their dogs hawks. Get attention but I mean attention. I look at that. Inches like makes me happy. I actually recommend everybody go find as many Arkansas'. You can count on your instagram feed and you you will it's my whole dogs and Corgis and there's like eight Kuala counts. I follow him. I can let you know if you're interested and also at one time someone did Google my follows and they just probably typed in like start to type the word Corgi and like they saw at least at least fifty Corgi so dare. Oh you are doing your dad now. People really want to know just in general like just like is like that. Was it okay back. He's like that. I think like something that a lot of people to things so first of all. There's so many questions about like how scripted is or like stuffing it is that's that's so many people asset and when stuff like that happens there will it was obviously a scripted scenario. No this is a unscripted show. That's like what reality. TV is technically called right is like unscripted yeah <hes>. This is an unscripted show. We are living our lives. There's zero guidance on. They are not like you know like. Can you try that again. Can you get in a different way. Okay No. They're not actors frigging work at a bank. I'm not when an actor side an actor who can cry on command in front of a camera but not bad rap like you see shows like the hills which have so. Da You never see them talking. It's a lot of voice though is like our dream talking but they'll be filming Heidi because it's all voice overs because there can you say that in a different way ah you hear a different tone. It's really talking. The hills even feels more scripted like I think the ads they're doing now like it feels different than the Bachelorette. Well that iconic like last seen a yea. We'll all the all the all the SATS staff and I thought that was so great exactly but I think that's what started it where people people think that and I think a lot of people going back. I've always called people out for this. They make they use that and they use that as an excuse to say all. That was the editing eh that is really not the case is really really hard to get get a bad edit and that is strictly seriously like that is just a bullshit did excuse and whenever P if if people say that in front of me to that have been on the show before I'll be like you know you have an excuse that is I had the same opportunity say the same stuff you don't get to put words in people's mouth like they say those things ensure like of course. There's like weird circumstances. Whatever stressful scenarios be still get to choose. Nobody's making those decisions for you yeah. You're still working on your mouth. This is not a question. That's what it says. She says not a question but I totally let that man where my vagina breathing apparatus Addis. I don't even know what you're thinking about it. You wear breathing for autism like I think she doesn't mean. She wants her face with her vagina this. You probably can't answer this but whatever we'll ask it anyway. Who was a better kisser? Teixeira Demi twitted you kiss station. You don't want to answer. How are you called Demi. Yeah and what did you think of Christian Christian now. She seemed cool. She seemed like really like Loki. I I liked her energy like especially considering that. She got thrown into situation. She was not ready for that was crazy about her. I have a question <hes>. This girl is really after my own heart. What do they eat on Bash. Compare and let's talk about the day if it's arena. She's not as invested but they don't eat the food and they address it. I feel like for the first time on this season. That was one of my favorite scenes where they were like. You don't eat the food show Australia all these beautiful plates food. If you guys don't aren't familiar show and you never eat which a lot of it's probably because of your mic`ed up and you can't listen to you. Chewing and eating talk and eat is it. It's not it's real food if you go back and look at the earliest seasons they they actually it's not a good. It's learned from from that yeah because you're gonNA have a conversation with food and burning out yeah exactly you know when you go on a date and it actually takes you like it's a good date you know because it takes you like an hour and a half two year food gambler aww actually talking right and then taking little bites here and there so. I also like with the Mexican obviously you chew. That's going to sound super weird so they they feed us. Basically whatever we want to at the at the paradise in what's what kind of scenario is there like buff as that out or do you guys order food all day. A lot of talk goes tacos Guacamole. There's a crap services kind of thing all right so my favorite thing about so glad you asked Jay how many times that he throw up you throw up every predate on my God. I didn't know all of that so now and I'm watching it back. I don't know what kind of Yorkshire it is for your stomach but uh-huh mastercard fuck you up food poisoning at my life. Let's see I have a bad experience with that to me. Dad I got so skinny. It was right before our holiday shows. I looked amazing. It's the best I ever locked someone wrote. This is one of the questions we ask questions for you. Derrick and someone asked us our tickets to your New York show on ticketmaster real. They are guys go to master. You're totally single right now right okay. was there anyone who wasn't on Bachelor in paradise that you were hoping they would send down. They ask to ask advance because they do no not really so you know I actually I always went into. I went into both shows just like super open minded and especially more with this is actually the first time through like Taylor with somebody else like on. I don't WanNa meet her and then we ended up because you never know starting relationship because you never know yes so this around and they asked me. Is there like who do want. Would you not want basically I was just like whatever I'll get there and all your whoever are so you and you showed me that instagram you guys can go look at j.p days instagram and what Derek commented and thrown mm some shade. It was beautiful. I wouldn't say your friends correct so the funny thing together it is. We are best friends. Someone like that just is like willing to put somebody else somebody else on the bus. It's just such a shitty thing to do and plus especially like watching it back now and seeing like go around and try to control the people around you. I mean that was the I'll think about the kind of people what do that in your life that are willing to do that. You don't want it that guy. He's twenty twenty. I always think about like we've whatever I had. I've had a problem with somebody recently. <hes> who's much younger than me and I keep being like leather young. They're young. They're young but then I try to think like well when I was that age I wasn't I wasn't it wasn't like that. Ah but I think that's probably who you are your core. I'm sure and ten years he will look back on and be like that was ridiculous or maybe even like in ten days. I mean he's already put this apology out there. Are you people WanNa know about Blake or you're like okay. Nice guy handled something really stupidly. Yeah really really stupidly. Okay that's fair. I like my number one. I thought he was so hot and I loved his whole vibe and then I obviously was very turned off by the whole thing and I don't know it seemed aware that he all of a sudden it was like wait. All all I've been looking for is right in front of me Christina. Yeah I mean the joke on our podcast last week that it was like every early two thousands ROM com. Someone said Mary met that Sally fact who is your people to know who your best friend is in the franchise wells. Oh well okay. I have a question as in. Do you watch the show. Do you watch yourself on the show every week every episode. It's very weird to yes I do. I take a little bit of alcohol to help me do. It's running shoes. Yeah I do I I when I listened back to our podcast. It's like taking a bullet like what am. I saying that I'm like Oh. It's not as bad as I think. It's go now. I don't can't relate I was talking to a guy or I'll just say I was. I was talking to Francis. We've had Francis on on his podcast and he doesn't listen back to his podcast and I was like Oh. I was like oh I do. I love it and he goes well yeah but you have to edit it. I'm like no no recreationally. I listen and he's like you're crazy 'cause you. I was in back so the TV shows like Oh yeah I do. Spontaneous blocked radar and Ashley income goes like Marina but I had a spire air to be an astronaut. So what were you saying. Listen back to our podcast all the time because I want to know like Oh that was good. That was really good. That was really bad. Don't do that again that kind of thing but I definitely listen backing laugh at us by myself on the subway. I'll be like laughing wind what's going on. He listened to us on a plane because it's so close and everybody's like what is washy crying when we edit this podcast exa- I edit it exactly. I want to sound so there's plenty of times. I've gone on other podcasts that I've listened back in cringes which is something. I've said meltdown recently because I was like I hate that I came across. This way ended up. Being fine overreacted per usual so let me see nicest compliment I ever ever got was I wanna be your brain a actually in the streets and rain on the sheets they always say are you arena at Ashley an overwhelmingly. It's actually in the streets right on the sheets so so basically trash bad what they're saying yeah pretty much pretty much okay Brady. Are you ready. This means really deep. What's your sign Terry Okay. What's your birthday. December sixth December six that was Scorpio Scorpio girl like October. How is it yeah. Why are you looking at me with the intense. Look like from from what I know. You guys are can be kind of like always want a new adventure kind of hard to pin down accurate or you feel pretty stable. I think that that might be accurate. Actually I don't know I've never I don't get into this stuff so I haven't thought about this. Is this is an odd off the top of the head. I've moved like seven times in the last nine years there. It is so sad energy big energy. You guys are my nightmare. 'cause I always fall in love guys like you and then you seem exciting. I really do I the I love the circle of me making one making you. I like this Guy Rousseau long also Sagittarius. He's like a various my birthday. It's a nightmare you people are nightmares but I can't can't quit you. See something China have to have it. That's people you're my shining. What do you feel across the board. I'M GONNA ask another around that. I want to know do women say like you're so something like that. They don that is that you are hard to pin down or. Are you feel like you're noncommittal at all. No actually once I once I feel like I wanNA commit towards someone. I definitely make that decision. I'm very much like I know my nose but I don't know like the maybe yes that one. It's a small group of people that I let point so I think because of that I shut down. A lot of people people early that where I'm just like no. I'm sorry this Mark Manson on the show <hes> the art of not giving a fuck article. He said if it's not funny guest fucked now exactly how that's how my thought processes to but. I don't know I don't know well. This has been so great ten. I WanNa Saturday. Thank you for. They first guest in this apartment. I know how to give my virginity story because you know here we are Virgen. You've you've christened. Okay any closing remarks. You want people to follow you. What do you plug your podcast. If you guys WANNA find it you'll find call the biggest I guessed ever. It's called the bachelor. Google me okay mic drop. Oh My wa now. We've had people way more famous than you did not say she don't all right guys google to find visit girls. GOTTI PODCAST DOT com shows dot com girls gotta you podcast and instagram girls underscore. GotTa eat on twitter and we'll see you at all of our shows. We Star holiday. Show get those tickets. They're going in quick. We'll see you next week. Guys driving me yeah <music>.