Audioburst Search

93 - Indiana Jones and the Monkey King, Part 2

Automatic TRANSCRIPT

It's cutting into your exercise time. It stabbing you in the back nine and it's attacking your peace of mind. It's pain and it's getting in between you in the life if you want to live CD medic target your pain at its source. It's fast acting relief with active OTC ingredients plus the added benefits of THC free hemp oil. Get get back to your life with CBD medic available online and at CBS. These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA this product is not intended to diagnose treat cure or prevent any disease. MARLINS curb real cute. Ah when a script is written. That is so bad. No one will fill me. These brave podcasters will bring it to life just just so they can market. This is table reads so the movies report. Which means your script Hayworth the Buffalo Shit on a nickel With Sean Mc be Jeff Lewis Joshua Baker good evening. Everybody and welcome to table reads. I don't know what time you're listening to this. I'm just GONNA assume that this is what you do when you when you're going to bed that you want to fall asleep tower. They're making sweet husbands or lady husband melodious. That's a jeff over there. That's a Joshua over there josh. I'm Josh like like people could see. That's why I was confused. You're jeff is UH stimulate his identity. We are Josh so We're we're back for part two of Indiana Jones three quite possibly the best Indiana Jones that has ever been written. I don't know why they didn't go with this. You're already in a much better off. I'm excited to go on this journey better mood or am I better at self. Denial eight something. I think he was really hungry. I'm like I just you've grown on a lot as a person that has come a long way and your therapy maybe just forgetting shit because maybe when we get caught up. I'm going to be like. Oh that's uh-huh no he's going to get pissed in. The previous would not be the first time previously on table. The film opens with Indiana Jones. Fishing in a lake. Or maybe a lock in Scotland US immediately interrupted by a bunch of cops screaming vacationing earning archaeology professor that they need his help because they have found a corpse. Needless to say this makes no sense in any movie and even less in in Indiana Jones movie from there they go into what appears to be a haunted castle. Were Indy leads. The police around exactly like the scooby gang two of the policemen I'm in probably vanish. And turn up. Dead and Indie ends up outsmarting a dog before getting into a lengthy battle with two empty possibly suits of armor. We left offers the police bursting in and arresting the ghost behind it. All feed in dig it progressively aggressively matter is smart enough falkender. The BUCKO arrested a got damn goes spoke spoke to be fair I was. I was real mad when I wrote that fell. Sweeten are all right. So ghostly SPOOK men goes to make I think he has a name has his brother. ghostly spook different no. I went back to the first page. Don't I do that. I definitely don't want no lick the blood taste that exterior castle. Why that's too loud? I'm sorry they're coming down from the battle MHM exterior castle. The villagers surrounded the castle. There I am in the right place right. Yes Sir okay. Their bright torches are raised high in the Air Baron see Grove is led out of the castle by Indiana and the police. The crowd begins to whisper. Anxious excited as the baron has led to the police vehicle. He turns and looks at Indy. The Baron speaks in a trembling raspy voice. His eyes are wild. No jail can hold me a chill rushes through Indiana. The Baron turns continuing to the police wagon. One of the villagers shouts as a AH. Indiana Jones is captured. The that wind is not pulled on in any Indiana Jones movie. Ever what year in hogwarts. That's where it was a little bit more monty python. You Know I. I liked that read. What I didn't like was the line? Joan oranges captured the killer point one other time. When Indiana Jones is captured a killer usually kills them showed them or knock them off a plane or no ticket hit or they're Nazis book on Hitler? One time at a book burden so the crowd cheers. Indiana gives a humble nod and wave like embarrassed like. I don't know how to respond to this because this this is not a situation that I ever imagined myself being in because I don't belong in it. I wonder if he's still has the twitching fishing hat. No no he does for sure. Yeah Yeah Yeah. Because he had he didn't go and change his had the hat in the fight with the. Yeah it fell on this guy that member could these are now they buy. Yeah a imagining him now. Going through the entire fight doc insidious that makes it better. I get the bait to use the lower lower macgowan shakes. Indy's hand indy glances to the police. Police vehicle indies. Pov Baron see grove climbs into the back compartment of the police vehicle. Galbraith closes the vehicle doors. The Baron is still visible through the vehicle's windows. He lights a cigarette. It appears that the match flame shines through the Baron's body body. It's as if he were a goat. Mom you call it a did it. Fuki goes yes. It's worse Indiana turns to the others is wide shocked coasts. A hate ghosts hosts. Why did it have to be ghosts but it is obvious the no one else has seen the apparition McGowan notices the Pale expression on? Indy's face which of US was McGowan. Was it me. I think it was. Josh wasn't no it was it was me I did the really shitty shitty sounds right. Go ahead Oh shit again. We're my macgowan McGowan. What is it man? You look as if you've been screaming Dream Team. The screaming banshee okay. He's in Scotland right. Bangladesh Irish folklore. Those two countries are not interchangeable. Well only this is a fucking racist Chris. Columbus is a racist ghost. Don't respect borders. That's why the racist towards the Ghost this damn bench. It's he Chris. Columbus all white people are alike asshole. They're all like the fish. The archaeology professors or Scott men. All Fish wrote this on a fishing boat of the indie points back to the police vehicle but has already departed it drives over a far hill disappearing into the night. India is turning back to McGowan It was nothing Mac Mac. Nothing at all yet Colin Mac. That's original. Did they. Just put a ghost in the patty wagon. No no no no police. The ICAL tatty wagon would be Irish and we wouldn't make that mistake here. Goes the book. Go where does this story all of the car. That's better movie. I WANNA see him. Getting fingerprinted I got a camera. dollies into Indiana's his troubled uncertain face the barons laugh fills the soundtrack slow dissolve MHM Marshall University. A few days later early afternoon a rainy Spring Day students students run to the university doors protecting themselves with textbooks interior. Indiana Jones Office rain splatters bladders. The window of this cramped cluttered room crooked. Stacks of dog-eared textbooks in papers nearly reach the ceiling. The spindly bookshelves are stuffed with various area's archaeological relics and instruments animal and bird skeletons fossils primitive statues etc sitting at a small wooden desk amidst the mountain term papers is Indiana Jones. India's wearing a brown three piece suit in circular wire rim glasses in one hand. He holds a student seat assignment assignment card as he hurriedly reads through the term papers he furiously grades each paper to make matters worse. The offices crowded with ghosts hosts auto. Sorry House the offices crowded with students with countless others flooring out into the hallway. All of the students are anxious to get inside. They are badgering complaining. And Moaning at Indy Dr Jones. I took your class instead of all the others. College works. I coulda had professor needles. Professor Isan smidt professor. You promised you said you'd have them graded by yesterday. My paper finished yet. Name's Virgil Vector. That's Virgil old capitol. V are. My parents paid good money to send me here. Do you know how much they shelled out your class. He doesn't care about us. He only wants fame and fortune fortune. We're just a bunch of peons to him. Tap It'll V. E. K.. Indiana continues to grade papers trying to ignore the verbal assault. This would never happen anywhere. Why the room always grading pose a Tommy Gun guy who the fuck is like? Oh office hours are win the fuck ever like when I'm grading papers. That's my office hours. Just stop on by Deprive S. e. will greeting term papers. Or maybe the ghost. My parents will kill me again. How much my parents shelled out for your class? Well if 1937. So what eight bucks. Twenty Bucks Indiana continues to grade the papers trying to ignore the verbal assault betsy tough. It pushes her way to the front. Betsy is Indy's student assistant. She's twenty one years old with thick luxurious black hair brown eyes and a small framed. Athletic Body Betsy is a tough breath. Brash a Brooklyn Kid. She moves close to indy her hair brushing his cheek. This music really setting a different tone than I think. We're trying to get a Indiana is very cam. Continuously working on the term papers jess. I'll I don't really have a good girl. It'd be money if you retire old. Indy large MoD sent Dr John. Dr Girlfriend all friends now. I'll do betsy. Hello Dr Jones. Not Now betsy look get all those papers please. I want me to come by later. Help you know me grade. Yeah sure it by Dr Jones. She exits fucking hate her already. Worst indeed female indie girl was call him into girls. Is this the same one that was baton or love Ya eyelashes. Adam and raiders. She's like closing your eyes. And you know what I'm GonNa go out on a limb and say yes. That's her I've bought you a new tackle head. Now she's a student assistant his worms character progress. She exits indie size again. The obnoxious student shouts did you get. The name Virgil Capital V. I. R. IT professor. Thad priestly enters. Pushing Virgil aside. Priestly as a young wisecracking greasy haired acquaintance of indies he shoves a photograph beneath these notes. Moby Dick. That's what I named him. ATTEN atten. That's what it said. The biggest fishy ever saw Indiana glances to the photo. It is a picture of professor priestly dressed into. Fisherman's the white people and again. Oh my God we named the fish in and the music is a picture of professor presely dressed. Fisherman's outfit standing on a appear holding a giant fish. Indy steams priestly gives him a manly slap on the back. What about you Jones E? You were over in Scotty. Lamb for two weeks. Did you catch the big one. Look free sleepy. I'm real busy. India suddenly interrupted by a hard slap to his his face. He looks up a beautiful blonde student. Rebecca stands over his desk. She Screams Phiri's tightening best third Indiana rubs his jaw startled Rebecca continues. How occurred you? My own mother in my own bed slaps him again. I've had it with you. It's over like like that but it's mom aren't you find. How Joe Fisherman your boyfriend I thought you were just a fisherman. Knows how to move them worms dig for bones. Mr Priestley Lehideux's chuckle. Rebecca throws a shirt that obviously belongs to Indiana on the Indiana embroidered on. It obviously belongs. Lungs to Indiana fishing. Technologies got got an axe marched on my neck. It's got like the the dashed lines all over it at least right down dude if if found belongs in a museum God. Where's the shirt shirt that obviously boiling sandy on the desk and storms out of the room. Indy shakes his head and continues working. The students are still harassing him. A loud voice echoed. Ah I'm sorry. The students are still harassing them. She came in slapped him in the face twice called him. A two timing bastard and no one's like oh unjust This is V. Surgeon. Who'd he tom on Rebecca okay? He's fucking Rebecca student and a student mom an probably TA and V. They used to be. That's why he can great all these papers so easily like fucked her and he's still harassing him. A loud voice echoes through the rules rule. Special Deliver Aid Dr Indiana Jones. A burly postman stands in the doorway holding a thick enormous brown envelope. Indy motions to the postman. The Postman tries to make his way through the crowd silly to Tom Burns slap. We're in a tiny office and we have introduced no less than a dozen the individual characters with names and there's another one coming up in the next line of dialogue. I see this is out of hand now. You know how he feels. He made Harry Potter just because there were enough characters in there for him named them all he was reading the book going. Oh my God. There's so many characters thing I can do this. They're all in one classroom. because my favorite part of filmmaking is casting uh-huh I'll spend six years casting this play. Pretend with me makes his way through the crowd when Indiana goes back to his grading but is suddenly interrupted by a loud tapping noise. He looks up Dean Claude Coventry. A stately Elderly Wunderle gentlemen wraps a steel ruler on Indiana's desk. The Dean is upset very serious Dr Jones. I've had several. It had complaints from several of the students the postman interrupts dropping the heavy envelope onto indy's desk the postman shoves the yellow paper in front of indy sign in here in designs Dean Coventry Continues Lecturing. They feel that you are knowing them that you are distracted. Indy gives postman the signed. Paper me distracted. What's this be? Plus that's how you sign your name. Indy grabs the paper. He signed a B. Plus on the line where his name is supposed to appear Sir procured. Indy crosses out the great and signs his name Professor Coventry. He's still lectures. Indiana Marshall University is not the place for sloppy behavior at that moment. Indy opens the envelope. A large amount of water pours out delivery. What are arth now Chris? Columbus doesn't understand how envelopes work one of them bubble wrap 1937. Yeah there were this. This is like you uh-huh ups just why is any of this way. This is so upset. A large amount of water pours out of the male saturating. The papers on the desk. This is followed by an enormous dead trout. Pass it flops onto indy's desk. The student exchange startled nauseous glances. Indiana removes moves waterlogged. Note from the envelope it reads a McGowan's word is truer than an angel's kiss. Indiana uses a tissue to wipe some of the water water from his desk dean. Coventry shakes a finger at indy. I have one final warning for you. Dr Jones phone rings interrupting the Dean. Indiana quickly answers the phone. I'll fuming dean. Coventry impatiently waits to finish his threat. Indiana speaks into the receiver. Yes Oh hello marcus but can you hold on back to dean. You're saying sir either. You Begin concentrating writing on your. Yes Marcus I'm still here. Just hold on. I'm I'm very sorry Sir concentrating on your teaching duties or damn it. Marcus I'm standing. Then he redeemed what just how important it is. Okay five minutes yeah. I'll be right over but this better. That'd be important. Marcus Indiana hangs up. It gives an embarassed look to the furious red-faced Dean. You Own Probation Jones. Ten days if there are no improve as no improvement you will be dismissed. The Dean storms out of the room. Indiana gathers the wet papers. He begins to exit the room explaining to the students as he makes his way through the crowd. I promise by tomorrow. I'll have all of these grated and dried Indiana continues making apologies in excuses. The obnoxious student again shouts at him. Virgil vector capital V. I. R. F. Virgil Stares at his paper adorned with a large red F. Indiana exits the room. Take that Virgil and thank you for leaving this room wide. Interior History Museum prehistoric room so they call it when you walk in and stop got prehistoric room. The this is the prehistoric area. This is the history museum. This is the pre history the origin of history. It's just a big question. Mark in the middle of. I don't know what happened. History Museum. We have the large room is filled with skeletons fossils and statues dating back to the dawn of Man. Dan Indiana his arms cluttered with soaking term papers. Hurriedly enters the museum with Marcus Brody. Marcus is very anxious excited excited. He carries a sixteen millimeter metal film canister beneath his arm. Indiana is very impatient is is dark to a full-size skeleton of a Tarantula source. Rex a tyrannosaurus rex from the dawn of Man. It's a tyrone Soroush REX. If you read it it is so stories. So it's it's just an awful australopithecus name to tyrone no bliss seriously. Let's go back to where is said dating back to the all caps dawn of Man. Here's a fucking dinosaur Chris. Columbus does not understand Indiana Jones male white people Scotland and Ireland fishing or museums ziems and time and cheating on women with their. I'm super excited. Wh How markets explains the way that he was on the phone in any. Maybe the History History Museum. I've got a movie. We need to finally came in at the blockbuster. Sixteen whole millimetres. Oh I'm glad you rushed over. I guess I could have been getting this on the projector while I waited. Nath breath meet him halfway. This better. Be Important Marcus or the museum will be soon displaying. My bones teaching career is in danger of extinction. You will not be disappointed. Indiana Indiana Jones is always making those puns right so he's into ponds and he says all the time. Yeah Fuck you Chris Columbus. This is fishy. See y'all laugh more than they did. The one that was written this is some fish email. Something's fishy and there's none of these girls. Thanks Jeff. I'm GonNa read the he can stop talking to close up an ancient painting. The Watercolor Features An upright wrinkled face song king the Stone Monkey King but the monkey is not made of stone. He appears to be half human half half monkey. His face is wise is coal. Black Eyes are penetrating. He wears a lion skin in robe and holds a tall Golden Hoop staff. Son Mu Comb. I said King before tonight I I meant Sunroof Kung sorry. Sunroof Kung stands amidst garden of luscious ripe peace trees a is surrounded by a heavenly glow. A Bright Ray of light that emanates from an opening in the clouds Familia camera pulls back. We are inside of the museum boardroom. Marcus holds the tattered painting haning before Indiana who sits desk still feverishly grading the wet term papers after he finishes each paper independent to a nearby. Oh by bulletin board for drying he glances to the painting of Sun. McCone Sun will come that stone. Monkey King big deal. I was ten years ago. Marcus doing back asks the papers wanting to change the subject. Jeez Heller kids got the worst grammar. Ten years or fifty years will always be in your blood. They don't believe this. He spells repeat with to ease. Think Back Indiana. Remember your desire your passion remember. We were holding a Sixteen millimeter film canister. Not Painting kid gets the fuck is this kid gets a on content. A dion form Heart is too hard this man. You can't bury those feelings forever. Indiana finally looks up from the papers. He glances up. Marcus then looks at the painting camera. dollies into Indiana's face he becomes very serious use somber is is our empty memories of failure. Fill his head two years nearly two years of my life looking for the remains of that monkey a piece of his legendary golden rod or some sign of the law city. Nine men perished on the journey rest of US nearly died from starvation or one of the many horrible diseases we discovered. It's still came back empty-handed one mustn't give up so easily Indiana now. He's threatening the projector so the film does come into it up Marcus. We spent thirteen months in China. Another seven in India but none in Africa. There was no proof archaeological or anthropological to indicate that some movie Kung ever visited Africa. uh-huh until now marcus turns off the room lights. This is hey this is footage of son. Who Come in Africa like passing asking a welcome to Africa signed? Oh also he's looking for a half monkey man wearing a lion skin. He spent two years of his life looking for a half monkey man from a painting. I mean it got some. I'm good as drugs. It's nice to help me with something you know. I work in the film industry. If I tell you at any point in the future culture that I'm being offered a position on Chris. Columbus fill stopped me from taking that job because I will go to prison. No I'm I'm I'm going to harm this man you if you could improve it. You could fix them. Yeah yeah he's a broken man. Yeah Hey my papers. He won't look make better movies. The Great and you're Indiana Jones script capital I and it brings us his resume down the Indian germ ipod with table reads. All we read this shit come back you owe me come back. Call me and five hours when you finish. Tell me I didn't fix it. Oh God until okay. Marcus turns off the room lights. You are already read that they my papers starts the projector a black and white image flickers on the far wall we see pygmy standing in what appears to be a grassy area. Uh the pygmies name is tikey. He is adorable. A little over four feet. Tall is body has taught muscular. His long black hair is shaggy. His eyes are wide and bright. Almost childlike is faces. Cute impish you're describing child Covered with very inquisitive expression tikey energy is boundless. Your child it's not a pygmy it's a child this the textbook normal trials. He cannot stop moving out. Are We know his name is Tiki. His name tag take pygmy agrees Amos Tiki. That's how we know cannot stop moving standing beside tight Tiki is Dr Clare Clark. Thirty two years old a tall strikingly beautiful woman. She is commuting communicating with Tychy in sign language. The woman is Dr Clare Clock. The famous zoologist list. She works in Africa studying animals in their natural habitat very interesting marcus. Now if you'll turn the lights back on three weeks ago Dr Clare. The clock discovered the cute little fellow Tiki a pygmy of an unusual race related to an unknown related unrelated to any known African. Try Try Marcus. The lights not the clock believes that Tiki cones from the law. Civilization of Sun Wu Hung Indiana pauses. He he stands walking closer to the flickering image suddenly interested. What but how did Miss Doctor Dr Clark how did she arrive at such a preposterous hypothesis? The big me speaks in the language that had no African origins but bears a strong resemblance to Chinese means is nothing. The rivers of Africa been plagued by various oriental pirates scavengers since the sixteenth century. Not much evidence. Marcus there's more the pygmy what's found wearing an ornamental peach stone around his neck relieved to come from Sunwoo cones legendary garden of immortal peaches. And Done Marcus Marcus. There are countless undiscovered African tribes all with various obscure beliefs and practices. One tribe may wear peach stones and other may wear banana appeals. I liked it. He put a parent in their smirks. Like yeah I'm Chris. Columbus I'm gonNA tell Harrison Ford win to smer smile when you're talking about fruit Harrison and you're talking about my stones. Don't Indiana walks back to his papers. Marcus pauses there is one final bit of evidence enlighten me. The pygmy is over two hundred years. Old Indiana adjusts his spectacles. He stares the black and white image the cute pygmy appears to be in his mid twenties. He walks to the camera staring staring into the Lens. tiki examines the camera with curiosity. That's impossible Dr Clog has done a considerable amount mound of testing on the pygmies clothing. His sandals everything was over two hundred years old. He's probably wearing his great grandfather's she cut him in half and counted his rings. Take you tree camera. Pans back to the projected image tiki begins to unscrew the Cameron's the picture goes out of focus. The film runs out. Marcus turns off the projector and flips on the overhead room lights. Indiana gives gives marcus a puzzled. Look what dissolve this have to do with me Dr Claude Watson. The wants to mount an expedition to find a lost city. The of Sun Wu Kung. She has quite familiar with your reputation to like you to come along no chance there will be money involved. The Museum Zia is willing to fund the expedition. Sorry Marcus I burn this bridge. Indiana turns and begins to walk out of the room. Marcus Calls Him Indiana. Indy turns he waves the papers. At Marcus Marcus please. I've got to finish these. You've got to finish something much more important. You you crossed the threshold over a decade ago and it's been tearing at your insides ever since my friend. If there's even one law iota of Truth and Dr Clocks findings then you can lift the where the veil of mystery that has surrounded the Chinese legend for centuries you may uncover the secrets into a lost civilization and possibly to man's never ending. Search for Immortality Indiana stares at the painting of Sunroof Cone Indiana. Hannah can you afford to pass the single most important adventure of your life. Indiana has no answer for Marcus. Indy picks up the painting of thrilling expression. Slowly covers Indiana's face. His eyes glimmer filled with a long lost excitement. The soundtrack music accelerators to Tim Reeves returned it. It is brief word from our sponsors. What's up dachshund dockets Trevor Thompson? The self-appointed Linden's critic here. And if you like old cartoons and watching online reviewers dissect awesome and you'd probably say the same thing I did about two years ago. What the Mayor Watch party? Every Saturday morning I do a brand new commentary of Warner Brothers Short all throughout the month I do video essays. Say's examining the history of these cartoons. Catch my videos on YouTube dot com slash ferris wheel house to just use the Hashtag looney tunes credit. Now here's Eric Thousand. The new avoids the Bugs Bunny looney tunes critic pros like you know. Trusted brands have a hand. In helping you nail the job op start with Lowe's where you'll find those brands and savings to stop in today and pick up a new MATAB. Oh HP one and three quarter inch fifteen degrees roofing nail for twenty bucks less now to sixty nine and get a new dwelt tough grip. Fifty two steel shank screwdriver. Bits set for just fourteen ninety. Saving you five bucks for even more ways. Low Saves Your Business Money Stop by the pro desk and talk to our dedicated dedicated protein today. Whatever you need to get the job done do it right for less start with Lowe's offers valid through eleven six? Uso Me Burg Roll Movies report. Which means your script Ain't worth the buffalo shit on a nickel back to table reads? Sorry I keep interrupting so much guys it just. It's still bad. There's the ghost. Ghost is gone. The whole Scooby Doo newness of it is gone. They put him back in his natural setting as an archaeology. Oh Gee professor and yet it's still doesn't feel like Indiana Jones. It all know. This is so interesting. This is an artifacts like Indiana Jones legends always built off the McGovern's in this on there just like there is a monkey man. And he's like Doc. Dr Clark Clarke the famous doctor argue. I'm telling you you already know who's like he's just dropping all this bullshit about this monkey king that has never been discussed in any the the indie movies where he was like all of them two years in the Monkey King Forest. Yeah and what year did did Temple of doom take place. I don't remember like semi now. I'm commuted her. Oh you guys talk real quick while I look that up because I'll be Kelly today so a really enjoying the. The office scene was was insane but I do like that. He didn't try to spend too much more time there than the rest of the fucking. It felt like a cartoon I would see on Saturday morning. It or easy so easy so disillusioned by artifact finding out the guys like giant monkeying A.. C. I am a professor above all allegation later. Feed in. He didn't let my type five on and we ran out of music. Signed with the folks get going. Close Sop the stack of term papers. The papers are slightly crumpled. Still wet a drop of water hits the Papers Camera Pans upwards upwards betsy tough it. Indy's student assistant assistant sits at the desk grading papers. She is crying her falling calling tears. Soak the papers. We are inside of Indiana's apartment later that evening. Indiana stands in the background. He's hurriedly packing his bags. Ax is familiar. Gun Hat and whip lie on the bed beside the suitcase. Inter sir police chief. He's crying. There's a gun in the with on the bed. I was his favorite student in your mouth health. Do you notice that betsy is crying. He walks to betsy. Indy puts his arm on betsy shoulder attempting to comfort her betsy snaps indie. You can't do this to me. Come on that's relax. You're getting them all wet again. That's what she said that is what she said. But you just can't go Away I mean. Africa is so far away. Well I love you indy. We agreed this was supposed to be casual. What happened last night? Casual my dear. A momentary lapse in the passion does not a love affair make momentary lapse. So that's all I am to you. Betsy shoots tour feet walking off screen betsy wait you know what I really feel like this. Indie this womanizing Indian script is going is more like a a willy wonka going. That's the way that's the way I can't believe you fucked. So many of his students like all of them if they're hot like he's like Yup the temple student. This is my final conch. At least in the movies he was like there. Russillo teacher thing where he's like no like bad feelings and then he'd just go fuck somebody in another country. Yeah this he's like this. INDIE FUCKS INDIANA. Sighs his I catch is one of the temp term papers. It begins to read making a few corrections. REC- Betsy Hand Removes Indiana's whip from the bed. Indiana continues to correct the papers. Suddenly suddenly there is a creaking noise. INDIE turns his face goes white. He runs offscreen. One end of Indiana's get his whip is attached headlamp. What the fuck? Oh no camera. Pans down the whip. The other end has been formed formed into a noose around Betty's neck. She stands on a wooden chair. She kicks away. The chair suddenly gagging Indiana grabs grabs betsy in mid air. He takes news from her neck and places betsy on the floor. Why is Kelly not here to weigh in on this fucking bullshit right here and the thing is Chris? Columbus thinks this is cute. You know he does. He's like oh she's going to try to hang herself with his whip because she's so in love with him and you know it's true because Josh hit me with this next line with everything everything you got. What's the matter with you trying to ruin my whip? Yes this might be. descript breaks me Thanks for tuning in the last episode of Table. Stupid and ended by. Sean Mc be occurred like the rest of 'em raise. You forgot to put your name on the on. The on the wall was his next line. There's a fucking gun right there. Ask here all cock it for you. What a what a way to leave your apartment? You've got tickets to Africa like talk if you're GonNa do this. Don't do it in my apartment. I believe in ghosts. Now there's a number to mark. Yeah she jumps off the chair. She jumps off the chair and she like as she passes out and then she turns into fish and splashes splashes Oh my God I think we missed a little bit. Though Indiana grabs betsy midair. He takes the news from a naked places. Betty on the floor and then he says what's the matter with you trying to ruin my whip like it have you. I don't want to live Indiana tosses the whip into a suitcase. He pulls up the chair and forces betsy to be seated. He pours her a tall glass suburban. Drink this feel better. Indiana walks to his suitcase continuing to pack. His back is to betsy see. She raises the glass to her lips. She pauses reading a message on the Bourbon bottle. It reads danger contents flammable. Double Betsy beams in idea. She lifts the bottle overhead. And begins to douse her body with the lift. Oh boy wow this is getting it really bad. This is amazing. Self immolation now I mean he is going. He's trying to find a Chinese monkey king. Brace Warner Brothers was like if you guys read Chris. Columbus is Andy Script. It's real great. He's going to be the perfect choice to direct wrexham kids movies. This is the guy for Mrs doubtfire because we want Mrs doubtfire fire to like ended up murdering her kids right and eating them raw archer just delicious. No seriously you you looking delicious. I'm going to seize the original moaning Myrtle Kelly would be pretty mad. Yeah yeah she'd be about what she'd be fuming since Al Josh have to make her listen to this. Now sure all the crazy dame nita was to get drunk that fixes everything especially when these women have the vapors or in Indiana is busy folding his clothing suddenly we hear the flick of a match stick. Indy turns he sees the Bourbon covered betsy preparing to light her body on fire. Indy dashes forward. She blows out the match moments before it sparks betsy clothing indy shakes shakes betsy by the shoulders. You know how you deal with a woman. Come on Betsy get hold of yourself. You're young there lot of other guys not like you uh-huh that's true but that's no reason to stop living the sides. I'm too old for you. By the time you're seventy five five. I'll be that'll be disgusting. Indy turns finish his packing. Betsy sighs she. She notices an enormous stone. African earn the hundred and fifty pound antique sits atop a section of bookshelves. is she going to try to cave her skull. Colin meanwhile Indiana makes certain. His Gun is packed. Good boy he places the familiar hat on his head and begins against the close the suitcase close up the African earn. It is wobbling shaking moving closer and closer to the edge of the bookshelves camera camera pans to the floor. Betsy lies there. Directly below the trembling urn betsy shakes bookshelves causing the earn to tilt and Shiver. The urine is nearly halfway off the edge. If it falls the earn will crush vets head. This scene is like a sequence from an old mickey mouse else. Newspaper Strip from like the forties or the thirties. There was literally a week where every day Mickey tried to commit suicide in a different way eight. It's really the best Mickey Mouse Worth Air is like I know how they were going to try to shoot the scene like it's hectic like she tried to hang himself and then he stopped back like a suicide comedy right right. Yeah you know safari also standard suicide comedy scene guys is come on your suitcase. And he's like whip gun. I got a plane the CA- hey you'll be fine. Just just go out in the world feeling like this. It's fine drinking bourbon first. Not My girl. No Problem Indiana struggles with closing. His tightly packed suitcase the earn falls headed straight for Betsy. Indiana etta suddenly grabs the urn in mid air inches before it strikes betsy 'cause when something weighs a hundred and fifty pounds. You do that out of the air. I remember that inches before it. Strikes Betsy Indiana rests the earn on the floor. He Helps Betsy. Let's see two feet. Betsy wraps her arms tightly around Indiana. Here let's go just have a bath. I'll make you a bring you a toaster so you can make some toasts into comfort you. While you take a bath. Everything will be fine. Don't leave me in the India. Indiana picks up his suitcase and tries to walk. No Indiana picks up his suitcase and tries to walk to the door but bets. Let's he's arms are still tightly wrapped around him. Finally Indy stops his eyes burn through betsy. Look you're just a flighty kid. Twenty minutes I walk out this door. You'll have a date with the College Romeo two hours from now. You'll be madly in love with him by tomorrow. Forget I ever existed. He'll never perfect. I exist Indiana Jones that ass. That should be the next line. Thrice Kurt Betsy removes her arms from Indiana. He gives her a quick kissed the cheek and hurriedly exits Betsy glares at the closed-door a tough angry expression covers her face. Never underestimate the determination of a Brooklyn girl Doctor Jones never so yes hold on. Let's let's just work through Chris Columbus characterization for a moment so boyle moon he introduces this character as tough Brooklyn girl. That was all in caps. You remember that And then like the instant via instant he he doesn't want to marry her and live with her forever and have eighteen kids. She's like I know I'll murder myself of. That's the tough Brooklyn one thing to do and also in just the most horrific ways imaginable. I don't see I've seen the descriptions options coming alive to determine not once twice three Tom Right next to each other and she shows the witch br exactly tough Brooklyn birth. Some kind of push yourself. I'm going to hang myself. I need a little little bit of time to go. Do they have a noose tying class at that college. She just tied to turn out real fast and that's why they got together. Are there in the first place you can see the headline now Brooklyn Girl Killed By one hundred fifty pounds South Africa turn Burns on the second page down Bourbon. With a whip hanging. From the David Carradine's apartment was raided last Thursday nation. Scheduled ashes expected to be put into another one for this shelf. Has The for all the women who are self immolate. He's got they clear out that this somehow learned a little too much from his encounters with Hitler. Look if you WANNA kill yourself just go open the Ark already faulk. Nothing beats a bourbon. Burn dissolve all too long shot in oceanliner longchamps. Does this movie ever made the Silhouette of the ship's sails across the water. A beautiful orange sky fills the background. Indiana Jones stands aboard the ship's deck. It is a typical thirties. Luxury Ocean liner filled with vacationing tourists. Indiana stairs into the sunrise is faces faces studying concentration intensity. He anxiously awaits his adventure. Our hero waits thanks for adventure patiently on a cruise ship here we see our or hero patiently standing knowing that just three short weeks from now he'll be on the adventure other lifetime exhausted from being stoic holding a tiny delicious fruit. Punch my tie with one of those tiny little umbrellas. Dissolve to map of the world moving Red Line Traces Indiana's journey across the ocean toward award. The red line comes to a stop. NBA It central Mozambique Vera a hodge sunny afternoon chief port on the coast chief or on. Oh this is the chief port on the coast. It's his name port on the coast. Hey police chief was a title. This is the is what should have been there. Chief Port on the coast gateway to the Zambesi River river soup. I got through Zambezia. Just fine Stumped me busy reverse gateway to the Zambesi River River. uh-huh rate to the Zambezia better supply shift sailboats. And Rafts Line Marine just a guy on this is the only way to get down the river Live Marina the dachshunds with various merchants and sailors unloading their goods. Small shops and restaurants clutter. Clutter the waterfront behind them. Rows of one story low square homes tall healthy palm trees around the area. An ocean liner has angered it along the shore several passengers exit from the ship. Indiana steps onto the ocean liners exit. Ramp he is unshaven wearing his traditional leather jacket. Get in hat. India looks around expecting to meet someone that would be great in east. Pov The duck. There is a loud car horn crowds of pedestrians leap out of the way a rusted a yellow model t barrels along Ricky Duck. The word taxis crudely painted on the car's trembling doors. The car's tires waddling loose thick black smoke pours from the cracked exhaust pipe. The ancient car rattles and grinds upon seeing the car. Indiana smiles at the foot of the ocean liners ramp the car. screeches to a stop scraggy brier Indiana's his friend and guide the one. We're introducing for this movie and we'll never see again just like short round jumps out of the taxi. SCRAGGY aggie is a rough unkempt African man an elderly fellow with the energy and vitality of a youth is snow white hair and beard or wild spiked spiked. He wears tattered dirty clothes that are many sizes too large for his skinny body. Homemade crocodile sandals flop on his feet. scraggy suddenly breaks into a wild grin. He Spots Indiana. scraggy shoots up the exit ramp running through the crowd of people. SCRAGGY stops stops a few feet in front of Indiana scraggy waves his arm before him as if he were blessing. Indiana following this scraggy leaps into indy's arms Indiana China cradles scraggy like a child speaking with Portugese accent. scraggy exclaims I gotTA commit to this. What the fuck of Portugese accent like? I know it's kind of Spanish. Is it also not well. Not In Africa Indian Indian united. Okesene go gotta friendship. I thank you for. Granting my wis- I oh I don't know that's about all I got for joining that. I'm I'm more Indiana Jones. The damage scraggy. I'm more baffled by this. Like weird hero worship that everybody has for indie except for the dean of course right and Virgil Virgile. Version was AUTISTIC V. Aw I'm letter do you can tell but just the six. The indy rests scraggy back onto the ramp indie. Not scraggy back it all right. Let's get those begging you down. It's been a long three weeks. Risk dragging back onto the ramp. SCRAGGY moves to assist Indiana with his luggage before picking it up. SCRAGGY raises his arms over the baggage. Again he blesses the suitcase scraggy. Then picks up the bags. Indy chuckles I see. You haven't changed scraggy Mahood mic God. uh-huh goodness say before body make contact with foreign object. You must cast out bad spirits or or bad spirits will enter your body. Yes you AH excellent memory. And they should last time we saw each other. You made me wear the same clothes for three weeks. Straight NEVAREZ Everett body from clothes or bad spirits will hide in your pockets doc. It's in other words. If people never change clothes there would be no evil in the world. Exactly I miss still. You're crazy philosophies scraggy. They're not so crazy indy. These days there is much evil in the air everywhere Indian scraggy continue to walk down the ramp moving off screen camera pans to a few feet behind them. Cameras stops as the screen is filled. It was a large blazing red swastika. Scranton camera we see that this is the sleeve of a German soldier soldier. Cameras stops on the face of Sergeant Helmet Gutter Bug. Oh my God. It is good or but Sergey Helmet Sergeant. Arjun Helmet shutterbugs thin skeletal nutsy. He resembles the angel of death. We all know what the Angel Death looks like. Right we've seen Nazi gutter. Bugs Faces Narrow Sunken. His deep set. Eyes are frightening light blue. His complexion is Pale emotionless. His hair is blonde stringy. His right arm appears rigid. It rests stiffly at his side. Gutter bug follows Indian scraggy eighty through the crowd the Nazi removes something from his pocket. It is a tiny mechanical item. It resembles a cockroach. We see that it is a mini. Any radio transmitter. That's her bug whispers into it off making contact I'll be gutter bug. Oh because I want to do a German accent okay. We it's all like no it shall be clear you'd be clear. Okay okay women and not a good German accent since I'm excited. This is German English subtitles. But I'm just GonNa read it good off the making contact the mechanic the behead. Oh we can't get mechanical roaches. Blinks red daughter bugged gives a chilling a smile. Meanwhile Indiana and scraggy arrive at the taxi. scraggy begins to secure indy's baggage to the roof. Indy opens the rear door of the cab. It begins to climb into the back seat. He is met with a swift kick to the stomach. He falls to the ground. The wind knocked out of him. You've scraggy runs through the open door. Scolding the person inside the clock. Why you kick Dr Jones Dr Clare? Clark steps is out of the shadows of the car. We recognize her from Marcus's film but she is even more beautiful in person and in colored. She's the same age as Zindi. Her hair is bright red to removes her glasses revealing sparkling green is. She is very prim. Very proper over. But extremely intelligent and quick witted. She is dressed in khaki she better redhead. And no Kelly. Dammit you hear me Kelly Kelly mad at you. 'CAUSE you're not here deserter. He's of said deserter. It's what I do I get upset. It's like my whole thing. Yeah the emotional guy man. She is dressed in Khaki slacks and shirt like an indie girl must be. She speaks in a slight British accent. She hurriedly assists Indiana to his feet. Dr Jones forgive me. No sweat thought I was being attacked by degenerate sailor. No just just degenerate archeologist. Your appearance is deceiving. Likewise they exchange a handshake and a smile immediately attracted to each other Indiana Jones calling passenger Indiana Jones. Indiana turns ship quarter walks through the crowd pushing a large barrel on a doubt Dolly indie waves to the porter. The porter stops in front of him. You left this aboard ship. There must be some a mistake. I didn't the porter points to a section of the barrel that reads deliver to Dr Indiana Jones. That's you if this is more fish I am going going to burn my house to. I hope it's Betsy mccaw art. I'm seating professor bit this is going to be good well. Yeah but DOC DR. Puerto drops the barrel in the Porter Dr John. Edward Order of the border drops the barrel in front of Indiana and hurriedly walked back to the ship. Sergeant Gutter BUG CONTINUES TO SPY ON INDIANA. The Nazi hides a few feet away in a dark alleyway. What the fuck a puzzled muscled? Indiana begins to open the barrel. scraggy shouts a warning indeed. Remember Ma Mahood Nick God of goodness before body make contact the voting logic. Indiana ignores scraggy and begins to pry open the barrel. You must cast off bad spirits. Indiana still ignores scraggy his struggles with the barrel he he struggles with the barrel. Top flirting with Clare may call you. Clare sees well clear. We've obviously got a lot of notes. Compare let's get started tonight over dinner. I'd like that very much friend of mine owns a cafe. He'll get us a nice quiet table. No disturbances just the two of us at that moment. The barrel it is off the inside is if filled with old brown around Manana meals. Suddenly Betsy your head pokes through the peels. Indiana is shocked. SCRA- I hope it's just her head. Did she decapitated herself and Milner Cheryl. This helps you find your monkey. Suddenly Betsy said pokes through. The Indiana is shocked. SCRAGGY sighs are won't you indy indy. You must always cast out bad spirits a dirty unkempt. Betsy leaps out of the barrel. She throws her arms around indy precious. Yes yes oh my God. You're alter my assistant his girlfriend a child. It's nothing really. What the hell are you doing here? Proving My love for you how terribly Sordid hoppy love skirl. Google Skull Score regards Dole girl for sure cowgirl schoolgirl crush. She'll get over it never. This proves that nothing can come between us not an ocean not to separate continents. Think I'm going to be ill how I mean. How could you stay alive? Hey I'm from Brooklyn and that solves that but we been sailing for three weeks stowed away in a banana. Barrel eight my way to the bottom shawny handy. Who's the Babe your intellectual and emotional superior? Oh Oh fuck writing. Old were riding need that match anymore. Yeah well you get on my nerves. Miss Miss Dr Clare Clock but see tough it. Aw as in Kurds way listen sister you better stay away from India. I don't know how I didn't hit on this voice immediately for her crossing in Harley. Quinn listen sister you better stay away from Indie my dear he has no interest in me. I've already celebrated my tenth birthday. Oh Shit Indiana shoots Claire. An angry glance indy India removes a wad of bills from his pocket. He gives them to betsy. Look Betsy why. Don't you get back on the boat this time as a passenger too late indy scraggy points toward the ocean liner. The boat is several feet from shore. It's sales back out to sea Indiana steams. When's the next one out about two weeks Indiana grumbles in amused Dr Clark gets back into the car indy shoves betsy inside he is is furious before Indiana gets into the car? Gutter bug steps out from the alleyway. He tosses the tiny mechanical cock roaches. Indiana the Roach attaches itself to Indy's trouser leg. The tiny transmitter is very light. Indiana can feel nothing. He gets into the car. scraggy blesses the taxi and gets into the driver's seat Gutter bug watches as the better model. T drives off the Nazi turns turns walking in an opposite direction. The camera follows Gutter Bird Gutter bug as he enters a seedy waterfront hotel. Fade out okay. So you just did you read ahead. The only like two lines too busy. Though or was that there was a blind guests. That was a blind get. That was a guest nostra. Don this over here yet. It lost her. Dominance Lawson gesture dominance. y'All go to. I don't know shit about anything. I forgot graduation. Josh you beat this script Oh I win you. Also that porter new pitch was in there. That's true he put that thing down a he booked. He's like outs. He's like Bella. Got Some shit to deal with She was arguing with the banana peels. y'All think that sergeant shutterbugs is thinking with the Intel that he just gathered from spying on them from a distance from the alleyway. He's like he's like he has smuggled a small child. Dr Jones Dr. The joneses very astute and very very into the panties of the young women alleged to have a woman love him when he bill not play her tickets to Peeping Ping in Banana Peel and then give her money. She ate her way eight to the bottom so presumably whole no she got further down got covered more shit this shit and Piss in those this she was no bottom up. This sounds like the hell movies movies needs to remember. The people. Do Go to the bathroom. Clean your own way. Complete pitch black darkness. Oh you do not leave covered in SID news whose line fewer visible founded Gora report. The ISOZAKI Americans are hopeless. More devious imagine. Save a love your shies upon Pau waiting for more of this guy because I'm really looking forward to reading his hair star. I think you got another one coming up you. Can you can rock German. UH-HUH I like German. I'll do German. He has like entourage. Hey Jeff Yes sir you are not on Social Media Nope. That's your plugs done. Josh Josh Baker. I've been making lots of Fuckin- Videos Lali. I got like three contracts over the past week so if you want if you also want some video work done you can send me an email. E me at Joshua J. Baker or DOT COM. I'll make commercials for instagram. Social media content whatnot Nelson do voice over on the side. alrigh- you WanNa film a fantasy of your girlfriend offering committing suicide Paul thank. I don't make videos like that Jeff. He got any more B. Roll of banana barrel. That's that's the name of the video actually enroll barrel bureau at at the corner. Guys you can follow us on instagram. At the table reads on twitter at the table reads on facebook at facebook dot com slash table reads. And and if you want to know any place where you can get this podcast. Go to table reads podcasts dot com slash. Listen we have a list of dozens of links. Were you can get this show on any platform you like and subscribe. Do that come back next week. We will be here for you and until then and we will

Coming up next