218: Micro moments for macro shifts | Kelsey Patel, reiki teacher & author
Welcome to the MY BUDDY GREENE. Podcast objects in walkup founder. And cosio of my buddy green and your host. Today's episode is brought to you by my buddy green and our incredible museum plus sleep product before this product. It took me hours to get to sleep and end up tossing turning than hitting the snooze on the alarm as woke up in the morning. Yes I slept but it really wasn't quality now with magnesium plus I fall asleep faster I stay sleep and I wake up rejuvenated and without an alarm clock. Look we all know when you don't sleep. It's pretty brutal. And it is terrible for your immunity in terrible for your health and yeah I slept but it wasn't quality sleep and now I never knew that sleeve could be so good. I hope you check out our pioneering sleep formula at my green dot com slash museum. That's Pretty Green Dot Com Slash Museum Chelsea Patel is not after Rakia healer and spiritual empowerment coach. Who's one of my favorite people as she has a meaning energy? And even though recorded this podcast before coded nineteen her message that she shares the title of her first book. Burning BRIGHT RITUALS. Ricky and self care to heal burnout. Anxiety and stress is more relevant than ever you. I had her on the podcast episode. One Zero Seven. You're going to want to check out. It's great to have her back today. Kelsey welcome hi. I'm so happy to be back grads on the new book burning right. Thank you thank you and so we have to start. It's the titles burning bright. Yeah so let's start with burn out what is happening. What is happening? You know I burn out now. It's funny because when I had when I was writing this book. It was probably a year ago in burnout was not anywhere near as mainstream as it is. Now where you hear and see burnout articles everywhere and it's real and fortunately we have things we can do about it and unfortunately. Bernas not going anywhere right now and I think that the book but more than that all the practices that are available to us. That maybe aren't as mainstream as going to a doctor and different things. They are available to us all day every day. And it's about creating micro changes for the macro shift in your life and that to me is how the only way that we're going. Start to shift burnt out. I like that micro changes macro shift. You're one of my favorite lines. Catch Myself as an entrepreneur who we always attend to like you set a goal. It's like okay. Let's let's go reach the goal and you get to the goal the next goal and when he talked other entrepreneurs wherever you are on the business however people define success whether it's by revenue or headcount or profitability. People say oh. I can't wait till I till I get there and what I always say. You know your problems. Don't go away. They just change. It's not like we got to a certain level in this having done this. Ten years is is a metaphor for life to like your problems. Don't go away you are common denominator you know and I think that's that's exactly it is. Striving can create the sensation of the same mechanisms that people use for survival. You know like you're constantly going and doing and needing more and more and to me. It's like this idea of. I WANNA see achieving become over achieving. You know like I'm done giving really needing to have a shift in our mindsets because the truth is you know burn out is there but burnout is also something that is more or less for most people. It's needless suffering and it is self induced. And if you don't start chipping away. And that's what those micro moments are if you don't start chipping away at the ways that you are showing up in the world to achieve the things that are your goals and dreams. Then you're never going to be present for the moments when something really great happens to be able to like take a step back and see and feel and be in the moment of it so that you can give yourself space and permission to know your rhythms if you've done a big project or big output. It's like a wave. It's going to have that crash and you need to be able to take time to give the rest and repair instead of this hustle and grind mode all the time. So do you have a breaking point? I wouldn't say that mine was like a fall to my knees moment where it was an epiphany it was my burnout. Built up gradually and it became so What's the right word? It was so slow in its graceful presence that I don't think I recognized the signs as I was in the midst of burnout just dealt with it. I had you know as you know I had really bad debilitating back pain. I had a lot of anxiety but I didn't think it was anxiety. I thought I was a super achiever. I thought I was a get shit donor kind of person that I just had a different bead in a different tempo that I had more desires than when I say it now it's very ego maniacal but it was this idea that I could keep going and what I didn't realize is that I was suffering in the process. What are some of the signs so some of the signs at least for me and many different people that I've worked with over the years? It could be this feeling that there's always more to do and I think many people feel that I feel bad. Yeah I still feel it. It's a but in those moments. It's not it's noticing it and noticing if your mind is just continuing to race and if it's even if you do have a to do list which great many of us do it's about knowing that you get to also turn off and have the quiet space and the moments where there is no need for doing because you've done enough So people to me who experienced burnout don't have good sleep. I mean really burn out comes from stress right and stress can impact so many different parts of our lives from sleep to sex drive to our health. Our physical health our blood anything. You run a blood panel on somebody WHO's stressed. And even if they're eating the right foods they're still going to have deficiencies in certain areas are inflammation in the body that can be fogged brain fog. There can be lack of mental clarity. There can be exhaustion. I mean the list goes on and on for people who have burn out but the burn out is coming from stress and I think one of the biggest things that people don't talk about is mental burnout. We believe in the physical burn out like A. I'm so exhausted but people don't realize that M- many times that physical exhaustion is coming from the mental fatigue. Because you've not giving your mind space and permission to get quiet so in terms of getting quiet finding that space. Is there a minimum? What you think. Is there a certain amount like he kinda need for example? With regards asleep there are many will say functional medicine doctors like okay. You need to Have your electric sundown no TV LIGHTS DOWN DEVICES OFF. Temperature like it. It just creates. There's a there's a ritual to that but sort of gets you in a quiet space getting ready to to go to bed versus is what a lot of people do. Tv on Netflix narcos. I just watch Marcos Mexico too so it was pretty good. I just love this like all the stuff really happened. It's not not not optimal for great sleep but We have asleep product for that magnesium plus it helps but like it's like but. I think so many people do that. They're binging on netflix watching. Tv checking social media texting not ideal. But where I'm going. Is I feel like that. So many people are constantly doing something. How do we create that space? And how can we incorporate it into our day without having to One extreme to seven David Pasta. Yeah I mean as a great question I again. I go back to that micro-moments for macaroni shift. Because it's not. Oh if I have a morning ritual and I have an evening ritual than I did it good and then I did enough. It's what is your day entail if you have a lot of interaction with a lot of people and you're more of an introvert and not puts your system into a stress mode. Even though it might be a joyful experience your body can still interpret it and have different triggers that go off in those moments and it's really about meeting yourself if you're on a retreat. You might not need the same morning ritual an evening ritual that you're going to need when you live in New York City or you have a big upcoming event you know to me. It's about finding those down moments throughout the day. Even if it's taking a break from work and going for a five minute walk and not taking your phone with you and breathing really taking some conscious breath. Sits you know in the book. I mentioned something as simple as a hand washing ritual. That very appropriate Tuesday's very appropriate. Wash there yeah exactly but not just washing the hands for that moment of what we physically need to wash off but also energetically so. It's you know it's Energy Hygiene. It's mental hygiene. It's physical hygiene the same way that you would go to the bathroom every day. Multiple Times a day. And you don't think about it. It's connecting to yourself each day and asking mentally. Do I need a little break right now? Oh physically do I need to stretch my body right now? Those people want to believe that it's much harder needs to be more regimented than it actually. Does it's really getting in tune with yourself getting radically curious about how you're showing up to the day about what triggers you in distress. Your may not even be aware of it and then finding something that you can do for yourself to help shift that vibration so that it's not this compounded stressed it's built up throughout the day. It's and then you take it home and you're like I can't. I gotTa Watch Netflix. I need to have a glass of wine. It's not letting build up into the red zone is my my opinion and what I practice and also what I teach people. What if you're someone like me like you really passionate about what they do? Love love what we do. I think when that happens you just end up working more because so true. I mean look. I've been in New York for six days. I told you today I just woke up with a cold sore. But we're not going to get it right all the time. It's not going to be perfect every time but we can learn over and over and over again and to me in my life. I'm not going for perfection. I'm going for as much peace as much ease as much grace and as much Compassion for myself and my humanness in the journey. And I messed up all the time and people that I know that are like you and so many that want to do well in the world and they want to contribute to the world and they WANNA help and they wanNA show up in integrity. The what I would say to them. And that's what I say to myself often almost probably every day as a reminder is you can do what you love and you can do great things and you don't have to suffer to do it and I need that constant reminder win. Let's say it's the end of the day and I've had tons of meetings and all I want is a hot shower and meditate and read a book and I know I need to come down because my energy has been really high all day and I'm happy I'm not stressed about it. It's actually joy because I feel really great. That's not every day by the way but on those days I'm actually aware that I'm still on the mouse wheel and so I have to do everything that I know. Works for me to be able to give my mind and my body permission to unwind from the day and some days. It looks like laying on the couch watching Netflix and just laying with a blanket and a cup of tea and some days. It looks like having a dinner with my girlfriends and just talking and loving on each other other times. It's being alone and telling my husband. I'm GonNa go journal Army now. Go have a bath even though my mind wants to post instagram stories and write a newsletter to everybody. Because I'm feeling so passionate and fuelled and I know that that's not good for me so I choose not to step into it. Does that make sense? You have to comment. I love the hotch our because you know cold showers cold bass or all the rage everyone talking about the health benefits and I'll just modern do it. Yeah just does not bring me joy. Yeah when I go to the Korean spa I'm happy to do a cold dip. You know I'm happy to get in the cold water but on an everyday basis if I put my body in cold water I actually stresses goes. I'm sorry Wim Hof sorry. Everyone gets the method Olbermann fast for longevity but the long cold showers cold baths and just some for me that no they self. That's what we know about ourselves right now. So you're Rakia. Hiller and in the context of Ricky you know where does Ray Kief into to burn out? What are some of the tools that we can use from rocky in in real time some of those micro-moments to help help manage all this absolutely so ricky to me is just one of many tools that I hope everyone allows themselves to have in their tool belt right of life and for me? Rakia was the thing that really helped me understand that I could move energy in my own physical body Without needing to book an appointment which sometimes can take a long time. It can be expensive So for me in the book which I'm really excited about. I teach people how to do Rakia on themselves so that you don't I mean. There's a beauty in getting an atonement in an having ricky certification. I teach it as well in the world but I wanted people to recognize and understand that two minutes of breath and connection to source and allowing yourself to receive in clear out. Energy can make a huge difference in the next moment of your day and we're all energy were all composed of energy and the energy that you show up within. The world is going to be reciprocated. So if you give yourself. These mini moments of connecting. Breath is a beautiful entry portal into releasing stress and energy rocky is connecting you to your breath and connecting you to source so that you can ask for support and receive that support so that you don't have to walk around throughout the day and become a martyr or believe that you have to do it all on your own and as the only way that things are. GonNa get done so when you go to a cocktail party. You're traveling and someone says what do you do you mentioned rate. What are some of the more interesting responses from people? And how do you hold that space and provide a an answer not fills with the ball right right? I you know it's funny. I still feel weird calling myself a rocky. He'll I don't ever really like to say the words like I'm Hueller or I'm a reiki master. It sounds I don't I don't know what the right word is. It doesn't sound It just doesn't sound like it's it's me as much and so I tell people that I am a teacher or I will call myself Spiritual empowerment coach or and. Then they'll be like what you can see their brains firing and figuring out in the neurons where that belongs and then and then the west side of La. They're probably like me to towards whereas if you're visiting your parents and TACOMAS. Oh 'cause we call the police like what is that. Is that a cooking method like a cooking method. It does yeah like a way that you it kind of is you can rake your food As I teach my students but I would say for me. The funniest moments are my husband is in a very different profession than me. And we'll have dinners with like J. P. Morgan or Goldman Sachs and they you know in the beginning. I mean I've been doing this now for a decade almost so ten years ago people were like what what is that and now it's so much more common. Joyce and people. The term is is definitely a lot more A lot more out there and we had dinner recently with our friends. from J. P. Morgan. That were in. La and one of the guys. They've now love talking to me about it. Typically our conversations are more geared towards my work than anything else and one of the guys on the trip head on when they were there said he and his girlfriend recently went to a retreat in Mexico and he had rocky for the first time. He couldn't wait to tell me about his experience. So I actually have to say now in twenty twenty. If I'm on a plane or anywhere I am people want to talk about it. People WanNa tell me their experiences even if it has nothing to do with Ricky. They WanNa tell me their experiences with the Shaman or with their acupuncturist or a meditation APP. That they did which I love. Because it's just making it more common and it's making it more conversational than ever before. Well a lot of people will say money's energy at probably peaks interests of this fellow J. P. Morgan well. Also they're burnt out. The is that people are you know I think it was eighty percent of people. I have a bunch of statistics in the books. I also really want to talk to people from fact based what's the okay all right rabble stats off to you guys. So eighty percent of people say they have worked stress and forty percent of them say that they have extreme work stress. So imagine what? That's that's a lot of people right. stress cost employers three hundred billion dollars every year horribly vaccine manifest itself and yet healthcare costs ninety percent of doctors visits are for problems related to stress stress. I'm sure you know this stress can shrink your brain shrinks the prefrontal cortex which is part of the brain that manages our highest cognitive abilities over time stress disconnect circuits in this part of the brain causing confusion brain fog in trouble concentrating. Chronic stress can also strengthen the parts of the brain that default emotional responses and impulsive behaviors. And then this is one of my. When I saw this I was like I have to get this book. Out into the world in the nineteen sixties Americans had among the highest life expectancy in the world and today the US ranks at the bottom of major developed nations and for the first time ever recorded life expectancy in the US has dropped three years in a row and it's mostly because of deaths of despairs deaths of despair which is actually related to stress. Its drugs alcohol and suicide and part of that and talk about this in the book. Is this idea of loneliness. Low in of yeah and part of you know in the book I talk about the try it at home. We've all heard mind body spirit and I changed it in the book to Rock Paper. Achey and you know rock is the body. It's the physical connection with Earth. What we eat. It's how we how we connect with our physical bodies how we take responsibility for them. The paper is is. The mind is looking at your thoughts on paper. Figure doing journaling exercises rituals intention setting just really getting into your mind how you absorb information if it's reading because everything that you do and I do is based on imprints. It's the imprints of our life. It's what we've experienced what we've been taught know what we've been taught by our families and then the last community rake it's not just about rocky but it's about spirit and spirit is also to me considered community it's a feeling of belonging it's a feeling of connection. It's a feeling of that energy of being so loved and feeling that you can walk through the world with a sense of support. Some people call it faith. You know sure so. I'm glad you mentioned. Uh Hilo loose up. We had Celeste. Hudli another great author on the podcast recently. And we talked about you. Just call me a great author. Yes author first book. It was unreal. You're on the PODCAST. You gotta be agree with that. But I'm just saying it feels so cool to hear my name in the midst of authors plural during the go while Celeste Headley was on and we talked about the loneliness up Amac and she had a essentially a great tip and theory loneliness. It's not it's not necessarily about The super deep connections or having taught friends. We talked about. Dunbar's number. Like this idea. That like you sort of Max out at like one hundred fifty rounds of my face. Your friends on facebook really don't matter but what was interesting. Is the idea of that conversation. You have on the line at starbucks with a common stranger where it's just. Hey how's IT Goin'? Her symbols that or would flavor. Did you guide? Or how are you doing today? That banter if you will is such a huge benefit and as we think about the loneliest Democrats. Simple Hullo is just enough so I go back to. So what's The rock paper Rakia version of? I'm on the line at starbucks. How do we take this a step further instead of just you know hi? Good morning how are you doing like what? What's your version of that as we look to fight the loneliness epidemic? I I'm not get the quote exactly right But there's a beautiful mother theresa quote and it's about making everyone feel happier after they've been in contact with you right. This idea that to me you know with the title burning bright it's like walking around in your essence of brightness. And if you are willing to do these little micro acts for yourself every day. You get to walk out in the world from a place of fullness where you aren't needing anyone else in the outside world to give you that energy you're not seeking it from outside of yourself. You have this well in resource from within and if you have that then you get to go out in the world and help spread it and we're all Mir's to each other right so I go into a coffee shop happened today. And the person that's across from me at the counter or next to me. There's were smiling at each other. How's Your Day? It's great. How is your mighty great to you? Know it's just this. It's the human connection is you say and I think what a lot of people forget is that you do have the power to fill yourself up and sir. We all need support sometimes from people. I certainly do as well from anything from a massage to a phone call to whatever it may be but I do think if everyone takes a little bit more responsibility for their own wellbeing then we can walk out into the world together. And that's when you can actually lend a hand to someone is because you're not annoyed that they are taking forever to walk through the grocery door because they are trying to get their car out. You help them. You know what I mean. It's it's really about filling yourself up and then you can go out and fill the world. So what's your non-negotiable for anyone listening right now. Like they must do like starting today doesn't matter what's go on your life. You have to be able to do this one thing. Check in a daily Self check-in if you don't know what you need. How the Hell is anybody else going to? What is what does that look like so to me. That looks like One of my favorite things and go through a whole process of this in the book. But it's as simple for people with their morning rituals. There's a reason everybody talks about mourning. Rituals is because it matters and I know that there are parents. You certainly you and clean have two small children. I mean you have to find the moment when you can get it. It might not be right away when you wake up because you might get woken up by your kids correct right so it might not be the moment that you would normally want but you still get to be able to make that moment for yourself. It could be sitting in your car before you go into work and taking those five minutes. Those two minutes and that Self check-in looks like a few deep breaths scanning your body seeing if there's any areas of tension or if something has just caught it self in your body from the beginning of the day or from night what your upcoming day is anxiety might start to build you breathe you send breath to that area of your body and then you can place your hands on your heart and ask yourself what's oneself loving act or what's oneself loving choice that I will make for myself today. That simple the do you take in Tori at the end of every day since like hold yourself accountable and can but to me. Sometimes that's like more of a to do list. Thang is two. Oh now. I've gotTA DO my gratitude list. And now I've got to. Yeah and then it's like oh I didn't do it yet The energy of that inertia to me. I just want people to be kind and gentle with themselves and show up for yourself because if you don't then you're going to go out into the world with that energy and hope and expect for other people to show up for you and you're GonNa get disappointed so my last question. We were talking about this before you came on but you travel the world you work with all sorts of people individuals groups like. What's The craziest story? You've heard or seen witnessed firsthand. What the power of Rakia can really all my God? This one's crazy I went to a I went to Marianne Williamson Talk That's crazy right there for some people listening before she was running for president. This was years ago. This is probably two years ago so just to be clear. It was two years ago and I was so excited I was going with my friend and as we were walking in she. My friends see somebody. She recognizes they say. Hello in the women's kind of like hobbling and she has a Santa Lan with something wrapped your underfoot and she goes. Oh I'm so she's like I had to come tonight but I I was getting out of a car. Had the most freak accident today. I sprained my ankle. Her Inglewood swollen and I felt this energy comes through me and I we just met and I asked her if I could make her ankle. Were standing outside the theater. And she's like Oh my God yes please. So Rakyat her ankle for probably less than three minutes. We go in. We HAVE THE EVENT. We all leave sake by the next day. My friend texted me and shared a text from her friend. Said who was that woman. Because I woke up this morning and I am completely able to walk. My swelling is gone and I know I had a sprain gone. I don't know what happened. She was so weird out about it. and then there's a little silly ones where the other day. I did a workshop and a girl. It was like three thirty PM. She had a hangover and she said she cried every thirty. Pm exactly maybe. She needs more than the rookie has young and she had a full workday and she said she had tried everything that day. That quote unquote cures hangovers. And I had done ricky workshop. And she's like my hangover is completely gone so I'd never had tried Rakia and now I am an absolute believer while yeah professional sports teams ever reach out. It's funny I've worked with. I'm trying to think of I've worked with athletes before You know they're so. Athletes are so sort of trained in the the matter now So I would love to work with Roy so some of them will try anything to like especially when they have an injury. It's like I'll do anything absolutely and look it goes with everybody. I mean I think there's so much in be Rakia so much more beyond the physical too. I mean ricky kin has I've watched it clear Traumas FOR PEOPLE. I have watched it Especially coupled with the F. T. emotional freedom technique tapping And just overall like micro shifts in practice. I've watched people shift from like a horrible divorce and bankrupt to an amazing love and abundant. You know just. I've seen the abundance in the shifts for people in many ways I've helped not I don't mean to say me but I've I've worked with people who've had a newborn baby and they've had an insane fever and I've sent distance Ricky and the next day the babies out of the hospital you know. So it's just I think part of its intention and prayer. And it's the ricky itself but to me. Every one of us has this ability inside. And it's not something that anyone Needs to feel that there is a barrier of entry to so really last question. I mean at this time. How do we taught how to? How can we all tap into that? We all feel like how do how do we happen? I think I it's a choice. You have to be willing to choose to be open to this. The you know there's there's a willingness because as as you've I'm sure seeing and I know that you like energy work as well and have had your own experiences with it if you weren't open to it and you didn't believe that it would be supportive of you. How much do you think it was actually going to help you right? So it's like anything in life. If you don't think that it's something is possible than it's not going to be awesome so to me. It's it's a mind set it's really a willingness and I grew up Catholic and there's a lot of people that reach out to me asking me about how to balance being religious and having some sort of like a traditional connection to faith and also rocky and practices like Yoga and different things and To me I I have all of it incorporated and it just feels beautiful to me in. It feels abundant feels very connected to be mutually exclusive. Yeah not at all and I think the same thing with doing this on yourself. Ricky might not be the thing for you. It could be a positive meditation and could be acupuncture. It could be a really amazing Kunda. Lena Yoga class it could. There's so many different. Avenues could be walks in nature. There's so many different ways at each of us can tap into this the source energy. It's just about knowing yourself figuring out which one feels right for you. Which one feels like? It's going to be the most supportive for where you are right now. Amen thank you Jason.