146 - The Birthday of Lee Marvin
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Plus they feature behind the scenes commentary for every single episode and also for every single episode brand new illustrations from the amazing artist. Jessica Hayworth don't forget you can pre-order signed copies from steriods galaxy books the deadline to preorder a signed copy is April twenty fifth. So do not delay on that all of that information and more at welcome tonight, Ville dot com slash books. And hey, I love your taste and shirts. Every evenings disappointment is the next morning's hope. I'm Lee Marvin locum to my birthday. Doc planet of awesome size lit by. No sop. An invisible titan hall thick Black Forest and jagged mountains and deep turbulent oceans. It is so far away. So desolate so impossibly terrifyingly dark one day. We will go there. Imagine the feeling of the ground beneath your feet on that planet. The soft cold grit of sand that once was rock once was mountains. You won't be able to see the sand. You won't be able to see anything except the faint glimmer of the stars. There's always liked somewhere. Just not here. What does it smell like on the planet? I wonder the salt Tang of invisible oceans, the bitter sap of ancient forest. I don't think it smells of rot. I don't think it smells a fire or of food. I think it smells empty like a home that you lived in for many years, but if cleaned out and repainted, and you're standing in it from the last time, and it is once again, a stranger to you. Then it gets most like that. I'm Lee Marvin. After of some note, it is my thirtieth birthday today. Every day is my thirtieth birthday. And yet I do not age. This morning on my birthday. I had a vision. I was walking and the ground became wet. Then the water rose up around my ankles. But I kept walking. Around me were the trunks. Mighty trees. Hundreds of feet around the water felt cool. But the air was war. So it was nice to all through and still the water rose, and I was waist deep. Now. I didn't know where it was. I was going toward or away from there was a fierce bicker of birds somewhere far above the water roiled, but I was not afraid. Just walked waist-deep in that water. Perhaps I walked forever. My morning routine is like so I wake up at five AM. I know this because my digital clock tells me stark red against black about the same cloth for decades. All of the labels of worn off the buttons. I would know how to set an alarm, but I don't need to. Whatever I wake up it's five. Maybe my waking causes time to happen. I have the same breakfast. Every morning. I don't mean I have the same kind of breakfast. I mean, it's the same food. I know because the apple has brooms shape like a witches hat new the stem same Bruce same size same shape every morning when I pour the serial no matter for how long or short it's the exact same amount of cancelling of counted them again. And again, even if I porno serial it all if I refused to touch the box. There is still the same number of cornflakes in the bowl sustain breakfast. And I eat it again. And again to celebrate the morning of my thirtieth birthday. We were not meant to last forever. There is no peace can eternity. What shapes all of this? He's the boundaries the birth. Death even the pain in the knees. The forgotten. You are bounded. And so within you. Boundless without boundaries. I have no shape. I have no pain in my knees. And so I forget I have no forget my body. That's all. I just wanna remember my body. Doc planet of awesome size lit by. No, son gets orbit is wild. It's serpentine through space even with the most powerful telescopes. We would not be able to find it. But at some point, we will see it clear and plain our own faces and blue sky. We will look up on a day where we had a dentist appointment where we had to pick up the kids by four the basketball game was on down at the bar. Then there will be a planet of awesome size lit by. No song. An invisible tighten all thick Black Forest and jagged mountains and deep turbulent oceans, the planet will be so close you will be able to see details on its midnight service. Although cities that you see opponent fast and cavernous cities empty windows empty room no-one built though cities, but they are there. I'm Lee, Mark. I've always been. It has always been my thirtieth birthday. This afternoon. I had a vision. I was at a conference table in conference room and a building full of rooms exactly like that one place of business where money is not made. But as procured from those who deserve it less. I wanted. Search those offices all of my birthdays after I ever find an exit. But I did not search. I sat at the conference table. Across from me was an unsmiling, man. His hands were folded in front of him on the table. I did not greet him. Because I felt that we had already exchange small talk. Now, it was time to get to the meat of it. But I didn't know what the meat was. I didn't know what he wanted from me. Neither of us said anything from either side of our conference table. Tinted window looked out over a parking lot. Full of identical silver sedan. My after noon routine is like so I put on my hat, and I go into tau. I do my shopping and say Hello to the people. I know and the people I don't. Here is still somehow people. I don't know even after all this time, however, much time it has been. They often wish me a happy birthday. And I say, thank you. But what I mean is pleased. Place. No more. Sometimes there's a party, and I poke at the cake with side of my fork, I go home with my groceries, and I put them in the fridge throwing out the identical groceries. I had bought the day before. Then I have enough to noon coffee out in the backyard staring at my long, which remains green and lush. Even though the heat is intense. This time of year, even though I have never in my life watered it. Grass is like me. I spit a little coffee on grass. Imagine having no shape, no form. Imagine a clumsy endless nece. Magin me picture. In an emergency. It is recommended that you look for the nearest exit. That's all I'm doing here. Looking for the nearest exit. Dark planet lit by. No sun and invisible. Tighten all thick Black Forest and jagged mountains and deep turbulent oceans. I feel I walked there once on ago. I know the bitter crunch of its lifeless soil. I know the ice fizz of the waves along its shores. I know the smooth glass of its mountains. The dark there is complete. I wish I could take you by the hand and together you and I could step onto its surface. We could know it the way one knows a home. We could find warmth, and it's absolute chill. We could make light, and it's total doctors. But that won't happen. Because when we visit that planet, we each must visited alone. We can take comfort and those who have gone before in those who will come after. There's a dark planet lit by. No, son. And one day, we will go. This evening on my birthday. I had a vision. I was climbing chimney of rock. The rock set tight around my shoulders. Hardly room for my body. Edging myself outward, I was able to make myself stable and then wiggle myself. Just little bit higher. A little bit higher after that. I knew that my climb would last for the rest of my life, and that the rest of my life would last forever and still I wiggled myself an inch at a time. Far above me was a dot flight. Pail on of sunrise or some set it never changed. Son was always setting or else. It was always rising. And anyway, I was far beneath wiggling my way up a chimney of rock far below. I could see cave water. Absolutely clear and impossibly deep and brutally cold if I wanted. I simply relaxed my body and fall through the rock into that cold and clean water. All I would need to do is relax for one second. But I didn't I kept climbing toward the sunrise or else the sunset. My evening routine is like. Listen to the radio to hear the news nod thoughtfully what world is up to. I'm not involved. I take off my socks, and I count my feet feel against the carpet living. Living. Sometimes I hear voice from the living room. All. Boy sounds. Must be more than this. The wall says to the me in the chair. I wish it were. So I say to the me in the wall. Could you could you help me out here? I think I'm stuck says the me and the wall shake my head. Sadly could've helped myself would've already. I don't like to sleep. So I'd binge an old ninety sitcom like five and a pit or the thin, man. Commences? Don't folks leap. I know. I don't I count every hour until the next day. And yet, I find myself waking again in my bed, and it's my thirtieth birthday as it is always my thirtieth birthday. If I'm not giving them boundary. I will have to create a boundary for myself. I will have to be the inventor of my own end. Listen against the window. You hear soft murmur of the weather outside. Prophecy. With this. Up to you all manner of dental true. Kitchen payments? While your windows. Two. Marrying? Say that the time is near. Coming in loud. Victims out of the. Starting to. All the talk. We heard was true. We all heard the whispers raum the star. We. Mild land mine. Ready? Wait to see what you see. I have lived a very long time. Perhaps longer than anyone. There's still so much. I haven't done. I've never been to Poland or Livia Zealand or spits. I've never been to North Carolina or North Dakota or north Florida or Germany. I've never seen a giraffe in person. Or a boar or praying mantis or eagle I've never been to space. I've never been in a coal mine. I've never tasted kale or Kim. She or lamb. Dickey? Oh. There are big things. I've never done. I've never written a book or recorded and now boom. I've never built a house. Choosing the location and materials laying down the foundation, and constructing the framework upon it putting insulation installing drywall getting permits from the city. I've never led an army over a mountain pass saying to them today we go down in history. I've never gone down in history. I mean, most of us haven't most of us won't. Me too. I guess. I've never been to the dark part of the ocean floor. The sun can't reach the sheer liquid mass, and the strange creatures live whose beauty does not rely on our sense of beauty because their existence does not rely on our sense of existence where the volcanic vents pumped heats into the blue black abyss. I've never been married, although I have been divorced. I've never skydived or even been on a plane. I don't know what flying feels. Hi, magin feels a little light trimming a lot like waiting. There are small things. I've never done. I've never had a picnic. I'm never made whole wheat pasta. I've never parallel parked or spent a few hours picking up litter from the side of the road. I've never pulled a we'd have never bought a hat have always owned this. I don't remember where I got it. I've never driven any car but dodged wrangle. I've never seen a single movie except forgetting Sarah Marshall, not that new remake, but the original nineteen sixties classics starring Frank Sinatra's every character. I can't imagine any other movie being better. So I've never bothered. Exotic things I've never done. I've never time traveled Holo. I do get the brochures in the mail each week. Like everyone else. I've never danced in the ballet. Although I've daydream of it many times, I've never printed counterfeit money nor order to hit on anyone or otherwise committed a crime. I've never been bitten by vampire or by where wolf or by a child. Simple things. I've never done. I've never mailed a letter. I've never owned a dishwasher, I don't know what a sauna feels like I've never been in hot tub. I've never kept a flower in a vase long after it was time to throw it away until it is the Brown memory of flower that once was. I've never done Pelotas or yoga or cross fit. I've never taken a run. Although I have always owned running shoes. My life. Like all lives is more of a list of I never. Because the world is bigger than we can reach. Not even if we spend our entire lives reaching. We clear a little circle around ourselves. We sit in that circle. And that is our life. But it's okay. I don't have to do everything. I will leave an endless list of the knock done on the meant to and the should. That's fine. After all. Ass performance is not a predictor of futures. After all death is only the end if you think the story is about you. After all after everything. After it's over. Good night. Luminary is a free podcast app launching this spring. And you're like I've heard of luminary you definitely have they've got all the podcasts. You get on your current catcher with features like a simple user interface, and personalized content recommendations, it's probably better than what you're already using. And you don't have to pay a thing. But if you do want to pay thing luminary also has a new service. Unlike anything else in podcasting luminary premium delivering a network of over forty ad free podcasts that will only be available on their platform. I'm going to download the free app and sign up for luminary premium because I am dying to hear John Cameron Mitchell's fiction musical podcast extravaganza anthem hunky Lous as well. As Hannibal birth is stories from the road in handsome rambler sign up for luminary premium before April twenty second. And take advantage of some amazing presale offers at luminary dot link slash night. Vale that's luminary dot link slash night fail. Terms apply. See official rules at luminary podcasts dot com slash. Terms referral. A couple years back. I went to the hair salon, and I sat down, and I said, please make my hair look like Frenchie from Greece. When she gets kicked at thirty school for flunking tinting, it's an Easter egg pink. And it's really gorgeous and super cool. Maybe you also have super cool funky colored hair that you had to bleach to get there. It's worth it to cool, but it also completely ravages your hair other things completely ravaged your hair to like me when I t's the crap out of it to give it a boo onto do night Vale live shows. But you know, what I also do that helps my hair stay healthy sugar bear hair. You want your beautiful hair back give your hair what it craves, and what your hair craves is a gummy vitamin that has everything you need to have healthy, stronger, more beautiful hair. But are you a total garbage monster who doesn't sleep? Great. Well, now, you're not because they're sugar bear sleep. It's the new edition to the sugar bear healthy family of products. It's still missus. It's berry flavored and they help you fall asleep faster and give you the best sleep. Ever sugar bear hair for longer stronger, healthier hair and sugar bear sleep to fall asleep faster and sleep better. Order both at sugar bear hair dot com slash night, Vale sugar bear hair dot com slash night. Vale that's sugar bear hair dot com slash night Vale, and I hope that your hair also looks like an Easter egg a healthy Steg. Welcome tonight is production of knightdale presents. This episode was written by Joseph Fink and Jeffrey Craner and produced by disparition. The voice of Lee Marvin was T L Thompson original music by disparition, all of it can be found dispersion dot info or at disparition dot band camp dot com. This episode's weather was Sicilian crest by the mountain goats from their new album in league with dragons to hear songwriter. John. Dr Neil at night, failed creator Joseph think have an hour long discussion of this song. Check out the new season of their podcast. I only listened to the mountain goats wherever you listen to podcasts. Comments questions, Email us at info at welcome tonight, fail dot com or follow us on Twitter at night, Ville radio or live your best life, whatever that means to you. Check out welcome tonight, failed dot com. For more information on all sorts of knightdale merch we have from logo shirts too low. Ago earrings to shirts that say sleep like there's nobody watching today's proverb. A group of chihuahuas is called a committee. A group of labradors is called a jumble. A group of golden retrievers is called a butter dish. Hey, Dylan Merrin, and this is conversations with people who hate me the show where I call up some of the folks who have said hateful or negative things about me on the internet. You can listen to Dylan's conversation wherever you love listening to podcasts. Just search conversations with people who hate me. And remember there's a human on the other side of the screen. Ex-?