Dealing With Adults

Automatic TRANSCRIPT

ramble. God Hi. Everybody welcome to anything goes. This is weird. This is weird. Let's set the scene. I liked to like. Set the scene for you. Guys, so you know what? It looks like when I'm recordings. Had maybe you picture in your head or not? That's up to you. It's midnight. When I'm recording this this is so different I normally record these at like eight am. But guess what? Today was fucking Shitty. Actually. Wasn't that's it wasn't a bad day at all, but today was like not that kind of day. I was having a really lazy day to day like I woke up pretty early, but just felt. Tired and Headache Ian. Just like whatever in then. I just like couldn't be productive all day and then. I took a nap. But then after my nap I was like you know what. Yes. It's like eight PM but. I'm just going to get everything done now that I was gonNA. Do earlier than the day. In Fuck it. You know what I mean, and now I feel so much better because they got everything done. Even though it's late at night like I still got everything done that. I wanted to get done. It's all about adapting baby. Okay, so I adapted, and now here we are. In it's late in recording this and. I kind of an interesting topic today that. I don't know. I don't know I. Don't know how many be able to like I. Don't know if I'm going to be able to talk about this. For a long time, I hope so. We'll. See. But this is actually and idea that my dad gave me today and I thought it was Kinda Good I. WanNa talk about being a teen. and. How to interact with get along with. Adults. The thing is really interesting is growing up. There's so many different types of kids right like in so many different types of kids in ways that they were raised and I've noticed that there's so many different ways that kids deal with adults, some being good in some being bad, and now that I'm almost in adult myself I mean I am technically, but like I'm also still a teen, so whatever, but now that I'm you know almost an adult. Fully like I feel like I'm starting to like I'm in this middle ground where I. I understand both sides and I feel like. This is something that. Maybe, some people might need advice on. So. For starters talk about something, really interesting that. The last few years I've been kind of realizing. and. It's put a lot of things into perspective for me and I. Don't want it to get misconstrued by I'm going to do my best. I think it's so interesting. I want to know if you guys can relate when you're a kid, you think of adults as being like perfect almost. Even if they're very far from it and. All of them are. But you know there are authority figures, and you look at them as such so. You know all your family members. Your parents, your teachers, you think of them. All is like the perfect role models almost. When in reality, That's all an illusion. And when you grow up, you start to see through it. I think it all started for me when I was like probably fourteen. and. I started to learn more about. Things about the adults in my life. and. The veil kind of started to lift and I started to realize like Oh my God. Like a have lake almost dirty secrets. You know what I mean that kids don't know about until they get older whether that's like a teacher. They got fired. Nobody knew why, and then later you find out why or Whether, it's like a family member and you find a secret about a family member whether it's like in their pastor like even in their present like you find out about. All of the different flaws of these adults. And in addition you start to understand. Humans better and you start to become aware of adults flaws you know. Where they're flawed in the way, they're wired in a sense for example. Now that I'm older. If like I'm having an argument with my parents or something. Or there's like kind of you know league, a little tense moment or something, and if my parents. Do something wrong like I'm in front them and be like that was rude or like that was wrong or whatever, and as a kid. You just kind of assume that everything that every adult does. What is supposed to be done because they're an adult authority, figure, but. In actuality there a human just like. Everyone else in if anything, they're just big babies adults are just big babies. But it's so interesting how the older you get. The more you start to realize that. Age. Does in. It kinda starts to disappear almost. It's like you could meet a thirty year old. That's. One Hundred Times wiser and M- you know. Better of a person than maybe some seventy year old. and vice versa but like. It's about life experience. It's about. Who they are as a person in like age, just kind of disappears it like some people never mature some people. Behave like a fucking frat boy until they're. Fifty, you know what I mean. And other people. Become a responsible adult. You know what I mean. Not that frappes aren't sometimes responsible adults. I'M NOT GONNA judge y'all I mean. You know. I know a few FRAT boys. From my high school. there. I think probably pretty crazy right now. Probably going a little crazy I don't know. I just drink water instead of coffee. That was so weird. I'm so used to sitting here with my coffee. Another thing I mean that's kind of enough that. The, you get where I'm going with that. It's just so interesting. How the older you get, the more you start to realize. that. Adults aren't perfect, you know. which kind of leads me to my next thing, which is more relating to parents? There was like a lot of things that I think. I was angry at my parents. As, a kid. Like if they've made mistakes, because as their normal fucking human beings, they've made mistakes right and I used to be so mad at my parents for the mistakes that they've made whether. It's things that they've said that. Hurt my feelings or things they did that seemed inconsiderate to me at the time. Don't get wrong. I love my parents, but again these things happen. It's normal. Just recently. I had this realization. Okay. I'm only my parents to an. Unrealistic Standard. My parents are human beings. Not like. These, the`real role models their normal human beings. And they deserve to be forgiven. I always was like well. You guys are my parents, so you have to be perfect in raised me perfectly and never fuck up and never hurt my feelings or never do something that's inconsiderate. That was where my head was that. I was like you. Guys have no room to fuck up. But as I grew up, realize and within literally the past month I realize. They are humans. They think about things. Normal brains! They. Aren't going to be perfect all the time and like it's natural. Fuck up and especially when a parent like I mean, the responsibility is like insane, and it's impossible not to mess up here and there you. Nobody is the perfect parent. But I just never thought of it like that. I was always like no parents are supposed to be perfect. That is not true, and so just recently I've forgiven my parents for some things that they did that bugged me in the past. I mean I went through my parents. We went through a divorce when I was younger, and there was things with that that upset me. And just recently I've been able to be like okay. I always thought that this divorce was all about me. I mean not really but like I'm always thought about how it affected me I. Never thought about how it affected them. So of course, that was probably an emotionally turbulent time. And I mean we're through it and we have a great thing going now, but like you know those were probably really tough times for them as well and I never thought about that and so. Anything they may have done while trying to work through that that that has bothered me. That's not their fault. They were going through their own thing, and they were still really young. I mean they really in there like what mid thirties maybe early like? They were young. That's only like. Fifteen years older than me and that's not that much. I mean it is, but it's not you know. And, so I finally forgiven them for things you know and like. Stopped holding them to such a crazy standard, and if they like do something that upsets me like I. Am a lot more understanding now and I'm like you know what. I'm going to. Give them room to. Learn grow just like they have done for me as their child but. I also need to give them that space. You know what I'm saying and not opportunity. because. They're growing every day just like I am you know? And I just think that's something really interesting that I've never thought about. I just think it's important to. Do your best to. Be Forgiving with your parents. I mean obviously when it's necessary, there's. Obviously situations. Where like there's you know? Where it's a, it's a larger problem but I'm talking about things that are more harmless. Not. Invalidating anyone's feelings including my own because you know even some things that are technically harmless. They still have caused me some upset that his lasted me some time, and so like I'm not invalidating map, but I'm saying that. Coming to terms of those things and learn learning how to forgive? especially like with parents is really important if it's possible and having that conversation with them. I don't like going to the grocery store. Big shocker nobody is surprised probably because I don't think anybody really likes going to the grocery store. 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That's T H I v, e market dot com slash Emma to start your risk free membership and get a twenty dollars towards your first order. That's thrive market dot com slash Emma. Thank you thrive market. Love Y'all the most. Moving on I think speaking parents I wanNA talk about give some advice if I can on have a better relationship with your parents. When it comes to communication, I know the communication can be really tough with parents and I've. I've. been really blessed I have really great communication with my parents. Because number one. I'm just opened bug with pretty much everybody I. Mean Anybody who's really close to me in. My life knows that like I. Do not shut up about everything. And I'm a pretty open book like I. I'll talk about just about. There's very few things I won't talk about but. You know some people don't feel. Comfortable doing that in I in. That's super normal, but I want to try to give some advice on how to. Learn to communicate more with your parents. I think that a lot of parents are actually uncomfortable with the thought of communicating with them with their child themselves. Like I think that a lot of parents actually are terrified of that and uncomfortable by that which is interesting to me. But I think that. With everything in life, that's uncomfortable. It won't be uncomfortable forever. You just have to push through the uncomfortable times. I think that. Making it a priority in your day to day life especially when you live at home to be telling your parents about how your day actually was and talking about things in your life that you're interested in the you care about with your parents, instead of just being like. Yeah, I'm on my day was good and then walking upstairs and like. Not Talking to your parents of the rest of the day. Making that effort to. Talk to your parents and have conversations with them even if it's uncomfortable and not. Just dismissing now to something, that's not important having a close relationship with your parents. If possible. Is something that's important. And if you know if the only issue with it is that it's uncomfortable. That's something that can be worked through. But just have to make it a priority. To have those conversations that are uncomfortable? You know and to tell your parents that you don't WanNa. Tell them sometimes. and. Let's say you're afraid of judgment, right? You're afraid of your parents judging you about something. But. You WanNa tell them. This is what I would do. I would say you tell your parents about whatever you're afraid of being judged on. And then if they start to judge you and you sense that, be like listen. I would really appreciate it. If. I could talk to you and communicate with no judgment because. I want to have a close relationship with you and I wanNA feel safe to be able to tell you anything in everything that I'm doing and. That I care about in that I'm thinking, but if you're going to be judging me then I don't feel safe to do that. And that's not what I want I want to feel safe to do that. So I'd really appreciate it if you could give me. Advice or criticism? That's constructive. In a way, that's non-judgmental because I don't. Think I'm GonNa feel safe to tell you these things moving forward. If I'm just going to be judged for. and honestly I can guarantee if you told a parent that they would be like Oh shit. There right. That's not right I? Mean obviously every situation is different, but. You know. I think for a lot of people that would really. Change, the dynamic I really do. Having a good relationship with the adults in your life. Takes Practice It's not gonNA. Come overnight. You're not gonNA wake up one day, and it's like not going to be weird. Talking deer family about like. You know the drama going on at school or like who you have a crush on or you know. Whatever but. Here's the thing that I think is so special about it. If you can find a way to have a very open communication with your parents. It's going to help with the trust. In the freedom. That you'll have. Because I think a big reason why a lot of parents are really protective or Really controlling their kids is because they feel like. They don't know what's going on in their kids lives. They feel out of control. They're like I. don't even know my kid so fuck. No I'm not going to let. My Kids sleepover at Jeremy's house. 'cause I don't even know. Jeremy is for one and for two I. Don't trust my kid because I. Don't have that relationship with my kid, so am I supposed to trust my child to not do something stupid if I don't even know who they are. If you can build a relationship where there's honesty and trust. It's going to be so much healthier and so much less controlling. But. That has to form through practice. It's not gonNA happen overnight. But that's the benefit of growing that relationship. The whole thing is going to be so much healthier and you're gonNA. Have a lot more fun because you're going to be able to like. You know have sleepovers. Strict and let their kids have sleepovers. You might gain that. Privilege of being able to have sleepovers. If you gain that trust with your parents. because. They're going to trust that you are not lying to them or that. You are going. Be Smart and that you're not gonNa go do some Dumb Shit, right? They're going to have that trust in you and. Also being honest of. Also, being honest about? What you're doing, you know what I mean being transparent. Being like. Listen I'm? Going to this birthday party and like there's GonNa be boys there. Or. There's GonNa be girls their league, whatever, if like, your parents are protective about that stuff like being transferred being like listen. I'm not GONNA do. Anything stupid whatever. Being transparent and honest. And then proving that to them right, so let's say okay. Let's say you're going to a party and there's going to be alcohol there and you're like. Hey I'm going to this party. There's GonNa be alcohol there on knocking to participate I just wanted to let you know I'll be home at this time. Is that okay? They're like. We. Don't know like we don't want you to get into the like. Trust me. I'M GONNA. Prove it to you that I'm not gonNA. Participate you go to the party. You don't participate you. Come home, and you're clearly. You clearly didn't participate. Now you've a little token a trust in your parents because you prove to them. That you keep your word okay. Now, they're going to be like. Okay well next time. Our baby wants to go to a party. We now trust. That they aren't going to do something stupid because they have proven to us that they. Don't do that. You know what I'm saying and that we can trust them and that we can. Rely on their word. Just something there's something to be said for that for sure. I think we're done with parents for now I. Mean I definitely got some questions about it, but. I! Kinda, WanNa, talk about. Relationships with adults in like. Other settings I think school is a great example. Teachers in authority figures in that way. Can be a real. It can be a tough one like I know for me. I had kind of a tough time. Dealing with like my teachers because I felt like they have this. Power trip going on sometimes that was like there would actually end up making them really disrespectful in a way. That like wasn't fair and I know that it's like kind of a little bit controversial to be like. To be holding adults accountable for being assholes, but I mean. There's something to be said for it like. Teachers and adults in stuff. Being assholes because they're adults in your kid, but. If you feel like you're being disrespected by an adult in, you're a kid. Stand up for yourself. Okay, if you're at school like I, remember. I had this one teacher. That Lake was so fucking rude to me and with just like single me out in class like kind of bully me a little bit. And I remember one time I like clapped back, and I was like. Why do you single me out? I. Don't exactly remember the story because I feel like it was kind of traumatizing for me and I literally blocked it out of my memory, but I kinda. Put them in their place for you know singling me out and I know that you're not supposed to do that and you're not supposed to talk to a teacher Blah Blah Blah, but if you're being disrespected lake by anyone. Communicating that respectfully and being like. Hey, you're kind of singling out here and. kind of hurting my feelings like this is Kinda not fair. Even, though they're an adult, you still absolutely have the right to communicate that. If. They don't respect that they're assholes, but I guarantee that something. A teacher would go home and be like damn. I think it would take a very very mean person and adult. To like not. Take something from. Intake. You know learn a lesson from that type of confrontation. So as you guys know, my cats are very important to me. They are my children. They're my best friends. I spend a lot of time with them and. As much as I love my cats. I am not fond of what they leave in the litterbox. Think you can do your math there and figure out what I'm talking about. Cleaning the litter box and trying to cover up the smell. Is a constant battle, which is why I've been using pretty litter pretty litter is kitty litter reinvented. It's not like traditional litter. Pretty Litter has super late crystals that odor and released moisture, resulting in dry, low-maintenance later. That doesn't smell. A dream come true for us cat parents. And to make it even better. Pretty litters virtually dust free. It's manufactured with a specialized deducting process, which is so nice because dusty kitty litter is so frustrating. 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If somebody's like clearly kind of acting like. You can tell when somebody's not being themselves. Okay, and like. Maybe they're trying to be funny or they're trying to be like loud and outgoing, but like you can kind of tell that there's like a missing piece. It doesn't really feel genuine. It is cringe a little bit because you're like at this. person's not being themselves in. It's showing. And I think that. That's why like maybe you acting mature. Make you cringe a little bit because you're not being yourself, so don't you don't need to act mature act like yourself, if anything that is more mature than acting mature because acting like you're something else is not. That's not the right idea. You know what I mean, so just be yourself. Okay next. Somebody asked how to talk to your parents about your relationships with your significant others when they aren't supportive of them. When you say not supportive I mean there's a lot of ways I mean. I know some parents are like against. Against Dating in some parents just don't like the people significant others I mean both of those are. Common. I'M GONNA. Touch on both, so if your parents aren't okay with dating. This is a tough one because I feel like. When you're living under your parents roof. There's like a fine line like obviously. You know you deserve to experience those things at a young age and I don't think there's anything. I personally don't think there's anything wrong with dating when you're really young. I mean I had my first boyfriend in fifth grade and I didn't learn anything from it, but it's a funny memory Like fogging getting him like Valentine's Day gifts, and like being nervous, like give a damn and giving it to his friend to give them like amazing story, but like I mean didn't learn anything from it I. Don't think that it's harmful. But some parents do and you know when you're living under their roof. There are certain things you need to respect. I guess. But. You know I also think that you could. It never hurts to try to have a conversation and to be like hey. Let's try to find a happy medium here? Like what are your guys concerns? Why don't you guys want me to date? And can we find a way where I? You know I really liked this guy and I really want to date him. Can we find a way where I can date him? But you guys will be happy with it like whether it's promising. You know fucking. Not to have sex or something. Or promising like. Have I, said the word sex on the Internet. We am scared. When I got a big hit now. But made me scared. Let me be scared. Anyway whether it's like promising like you know. Not to like. Do X Y and Z or like you know even if they're like, you can date him, but you can't. Kiss him leg. Whatever things like that? Finally happy medium when it comes to your parents, not being supportive of somebody. You're dating like because they don't like them. I think that this is again. Another conversation that needs to be had where you're just like listen. I! Know that you don't like this person, but I am in love with them. And I'd really appreciate it if you could just. Be Kind of a soundboard for me to van off of like. Let me vent to you. in give me advice. Regardless and like. You know I'm not probably going to I. Don't Know How long I'm GonNa be with this person, but like right now. I really liked them and I can't really turn that feeling off so. Let's agree to disagree on this and I'd really appreciate like if you could. Still you know, be maybe not be even if you're not supportive of the relationship, you can be supportive of me by giving me advice in being a support system for me. Getting like being with this person in general. You know what I mean. And I think. Communication is key with all this. Just being like listen. This is how I feel and I can't change it so. Sorry about it, but also. Is On my fault. Because you can't control your feelings I mean I. Think People Forget that sometimes like. People so you know I think adults can sometimes. KIND OF INVALIDATE Young People's feelings when it comes to like love and stuff because they're like God. You've even been in love before. You don't even know what that's like. You're not even in a real relationship you're you know crush on this guy is dumb. You're not even going to care about them in a year. But those feelings are still very real and I do think adults kind of forget that so I think reminding adults like. Hey like this is a real heavy feeling that I have like being in love with somebody. You're having a crush on. Somebody is fucking heavy that. Weighs on your chest when you're trying to fall asleep like it is a lot, it's very emotional and I think reminding them that being like I. Know that. I'm young and I. Know that this. May seem insignificant to you because you know that there's a bigger picture and I'm probably not going to be with this person forever. It doesn't matter because right now. This is how I feel about this person. There's nothing I can do about it. And you know how heavy that feeling is. You obviously felt that heavy about somebody that you married them. And now you had me so. You know not, that's always out you know. That's not always house. Situation is, but just you know stereotypically. But Yeah I. Mean I think? Just reminding them that your feelings are valid. Okay somebody as how do I tell an adult something uncomfortable. Or. Come forward with something bad. That has happened to me. In parentheses, love you. Love you so much. The thing is it's like ripping off a band aid. It's GonNa be uncomfortable and you know you kinda just have to swallow that pill and be like okay. You know what I know that this is going to be uncomfortable, but. This needs to be discussed and honestly I can guarantee. That once the conversation starts, and you kind of get into it. The awkwardness usually will disappear and uncomfortable will usually disappear. I mean. I've had things that even made me. I mean I'm pretty close in my parents, and even I still have things where I'll come to them and tell them, and it makes me uncomfortable sometimes you know. Like bad things that have happened to me, and sometimes their emotional and I start bawling my eyes out, and like sometimes you know whatever and it's uncomfortable, but the thing is is that. Once you get it off your chest. You'RE GONNA. Feel so much better. Think about that feeling. Think about how good it's GonNa feel to get that shit off your chest, you know. and. Think about how good it's GonNa feel the. Hopefully get that support from your parents. The you deserve. The chance that you could. Connect with your parents over that uncomfortable or that upsetting thing that's enough to make it worth it to try. Think about what you're gonNA say maybe planet out. Or just wing it. And like I mean both options, I mean I think sometimes planning on what you're going to say. Can kind of site you out a little bit, but I also think that if you're kind of your brains in shambles like. Right something out and kind of just look at it on paper and realize okay, this is. Going to be okay, you know what I mean. You have one life. and. Communication and Hugh in connection is one of the most important things that you're gonNA experience. Even. If it's uncomfortable, it's always worth it to try. So just rip off the damn band aid. Next. How, do I talk to? My parents were mental. Health issues I feel like it wasn't as normalized back then and I feel awkward talking to my mom about it I, love you. I think that actually a lot of adults are starting to learn I agree. I think the mental health problems. It was not discussed. I think that a lot of our parents never. Even considered having those conversations with their parents, and also I think a lot of. Our parents dealt with mental health health issues, but it wasn't as talked about so they. Didn't even really know what they were dealing with time like it was almost like okay feel really sad every day, but I don't really know what this is and so I just guess I'm going to get over it. You know which has probably caused them some mental problems that they have to deal with to this day. WHO KNOWS BUT I think you know. Explaining it to the best of your ability and being like listen. I've done some research. I've kind of figured out that. I may be struggling with X. Y. and Z.. Whatever that may be. Let's say it's depression. You know I've done some research and I think that I'm maybe depressed. and. I, don't WanNa live like this. It's uncomfortable for me. It makes day-today life very difficult. And I need support from you in help from you, so that I can get through this and hopefully get rid of this or find ways to manage this better but I need your support. And I need your help and I also think that if your parents are really uneducated on the subject, send them some resources. Send them some links to some videos that explain it. Send them. You know in article. Find something that you feel like. encapsulates what you're dealing with. Send to them in. Let them. Do their research on their own. You know what I mean and kind of learned about it from a source that. May Be can explain it to them in a way that makes sense rather than you know. It's hard to explain mental health problems. Yourself you know so. Use The internet use the resources that are out there so many and explain that to them. I really think that. That will solve all the problems, but I also know that some parents are like. No, you're fine. You're fine. You're fine. When you're not some parents like to invalidate you know and be like Oh. You're fine. You're just being dramatic. He I know that there's a lot of parents that do that and. That's especially a time to be like. Listen. I'm struggling. And I had the courage to come to tell you about it in for you to invalidate that feeling. Is extremely hard for me because I'm already dealing with this on a day-to-day basis in I may be covering it well, but deep down like I'm really hurting and. As my parent like I would really hope that you would believe me and that you could help me get through this. You can also be like. Why are the fuck would i? Be Lying about this like this is I. Don't WanNa have to bring this up. This is uncomfortable for me, but I'm desperate in I. Need Help. And I think that. Confronting your parents on invalidating those feelings. And not just letting them do it. We'll hopefully. Get them to rethink. How do you talk to your parents when you guys have different beliefs? This is something I've is super important. Right now because I know that there's you know a lot. Of You know a lot of kids are starting to learn about. Things like politics or you know whatever things like that? and. Backing cause some tension households because. Not. Everybody's going to agree on those things. There are some things that are really I. my I remember. Somebody always told her it always. Used to be a saying like. That like I think it was politics, religion and one other thing. Will always cause an argument. Within like you know a calm like usually within conversations like they're just things that. Sometimes you just have to agree to disagree on because people are really you know people aren't. People believe what would they believe in? You know some people aren't going to they. Can't understand your point of view or You know and they're really passionate about it. Those are things that people are very emotional and very passionate about. Something you need to remember. But I also think that. There's I've talked about this in a different episode. You can do your best. To. Explain your point of view. To your parents in explain where you're coming from and explain what you believe in to your parents. And they might not agree. and. You might feel as those your responsibility to convince them or to change their mind. But. I hate to say it, but. It's not always gonNA work. You know what I mean. But that's okay. You don't need to have the same views as your parents are the same opinions on things as your parents or anybody else for that matter. And, it's about respecting one another and the way that they. You can't do anything about it. You can't change US somebody's going to think about things you can try, but. I mean the best you can do. Is You know? Share what you believe and if they don't agree. Then, that's a conversation that maybe you guys shouldn't be having. I think that. You don't have to talk about the things that you disagree on. You, know what I mean like those topics. Can Be. Ignored or not ignored, those conversations can be avoided. I think that one it comes to relationships with parents those are you know that's an important relationship and so if you have differing views? Agreeing disagree respectfully is the best way to deal with it because it's not like you can just. You shouldn't not. Respect somebody because they don't have the same views as you or the same opinions as you. It's about finding a happy medium in agreeing to disagree, but that has to come from both sides. So both you and your parents both need to agree to disagree that you're going to respect the others opinion. And just not talk about it. Anymore. Because If you, guys are both stuck in your ways. The conversations never gonNA. Get anywhere. You guys are both just going to be fighting with each other about trying to prove the other is wrong. And it will just be an endless nightmare of cycle. So instead don't talk about those things and talk about other stuff that you guys agree on and that you guys can bond over. And I think that's going to be really helpful, and you know a lot healthier as well. Okay next. Hey Am I know you have divorced. Parents says wondering if you've ever felt that, you drifted with one of them, and then now you've reformed the connection for sure I think that throughout like my. Growing up process, I've kind of like. I think my relationships with my relationship with my parents. Each individually has had its own fluctuations in its own struggles. I. Know at one point I. was you know my mom? And I I was kind of like a moody teen phase and my mom. was you know had her own struggles? And so you know us together was just a fucking explosive mess. And and we would argue quite frequently and I kind of resented my mom. Because you know, we would argue we'd butt heads because you know. She wanted the apartment a certain way and I wanted to do. They might do this my way. And she and we just didn't respect each other I think. And we weren't like open minded and we didn't want to listen to the other person and I think that that causes us a lot of tension, I also think it's normal between mothers and daughters to. You know, have that attitude with one another and I think that we've both both of us, not just me I. Think we've both grown through that in learn to communicate with one another and respect one another in a way that we wouldn't have otherwise without having that. Little time of tension you know, but that now my mom and I are closer than ever. You know what I mean. And if one of US starts to Kinda, behave in that way will put each other in check and be like. Hey, you're kind of. You know you're being old defensive or you're being kind of argumentative. Check yourself you know what I mean and we do that. And so you know it's kind of like this little checks and balances thing going and now we don't really have that problem anymore and we have a great relationship. Those types of fluctuations in parent-child relationships are so normal. Next Question How do you make it less weird and awkward when meeting Your Bays Parents? This is awkward. Always, it's always a little awkward, but I think just being like you know showing enthusiasm about meeting them, and being like you know Oh my God I'm so excited to me you I. You know this is like you know. You have an amazing child you know. I'm just so glad I get to me you whatever being enthusiastic about meeting them, but also trying to start a conversation with them in you know trying to bond with them I think really helps because the sooner that you get over that awkward humping. You guys kind of talk about whatever like that's when things. Settle down and it's not uncomfortable anymore Trying to start a conversation about something you guys have in common I think. We'll just really get all the jitters out. Next, Saudi as we how to tell your parents know without them grounding you. I think that a huge. Reason. Why parents get really angry is about how? Kids. Tend to communicate with them. Okay, it's all about the way that you communicate something. If you start to raise your voice if you start to get angry if you search screaming if you have an attitude, that's when your parents are GonNa. Ground you if you're respectful, calm composed. Thoughtful about the way that you communicate things. That is key. I can tell you I used to be a little bitch. Sometimes I'd fucking yell at my parents and being astle. And then it would just cause an argument and I just get in trouble, but once I started to realize. Oh my God, if I treat my parents with respect, and communicate with them respectfully, and I don't raise my voice, and I'm nice and I'm like. And I'm composed like. There's so much more open minded to whatever I'm talking about. If I'm like either agreeing to disagree with them on something or I'm asking them something I'm telling them no or whatever. It's all about the delivery. Somebody as How to get them to understand the disagreeing with something that they think is not disrespecting them. I think again. It's all about delivery and being like. Listen I respect you and I respect your opinion, and I respect your beliefs, but I also have different ones and you know that has nothing to do with how I. Ever with my respect for you, but you know we're going to have to agree to disagree on this, but I still. Respect you and I respect your opinion. You know and not like fighting them on it right? Because then that's going to seem disrespectful, but more just being like. Listen I think that we're GONNA need to agree to disagree on this one. Next visit out to talk to them. In. Make them see that you're not a kid anymore. I think. Talking to them about. Responsibilities. and. Talking to them about. Like things that are maybe more mature topics like having those important conversations with your parents about like you know new responsibilities that you're. Gaining as you're growing up whether that's going to call Jim moving out or getting a job or whatever like talking to your parents about those things I think. Help take to the next level because they think that it shows that you are growing up and it kind of clicks in their brain like Oh shit! Wow, you know. So and so is getting their first job like okay. You know they're becoming an adult. Whatever and also I think communicating with them. In a like calm and nonchalant way is also a great way to share your parents that you're growing up and not being. Disrespectful or rude I think that being respectful and being. Polite shows maturity more than anything. God. I'm getting tired. It's one in the morning. The latest I've been up in for ever kind of losing my mind. Neck somebody says hi, Emma. I've always been the youngest of the friend group in the family same I'm. I've always been at least one of the youngest. Girl Anymore, but my family tends to treat me that way. How do I stop that? I think that it's really tough because you can't really control that, right. I'm I've always been the same way. I'm the youngest one in my friend group. I'm like one of the younger people. My family I'm like the third youngest and my whole family. Out of lake both sides. Youngest on my mom's side third youngest my dad's. I think that it's just overtime. They're going to start to realize like. It all kind of the age thing kind of evens out at a certain point like I remember. When I was younger like round seventeen like I was friends with. Kids that were older than me like more around twenty. And like. You, know I didn't have I an eighteen years old so like I needed a fucking parents permission to do anything. which is like funny to think about now, but? You know I was the baby of the group, and it was kind of annoying, because everybody like didn't take very seriously, and whatever, but now I'm nineteen, and then a few years later and I feel like that's kind of all disappeared i. feel like everybody kind of now. I'm friends with people who are fucking. Ten years older than me and it feels like normal because I just. have adapted to like being friends with people that are older than me and like. They've gotten used to it and now I'm not the baby anymore because. I've proven that I. CAN FUCK keep up! You know what I mean over time and now they don't really think about that shit anymore, but it's about like. Showing you can keep up and. I guess that's that's a hard one to answer because they feel people always want to do that. So, many asked me if adults scare me. No, you know. It's actually really interesting because I've. Always like not I've never really I. Mean of course sometimes adults intimidate me as do fucking kids to like. Some people are just intimidating in general. So I'm not saying. I'm not intimidated by anybody but. There are definitely. I. Definitely am not that intimidated by adults. I think it's because my parents. Raised me in a way, where like they never treated me really like a baby which I'm really lucky for the like. That's you know. I'm grateful for that. They always held to a really high standard, and they never babied me so. I kinda always just like. Felt like I. Fit in with adults. Even when I was a kid because my fit, my parents made me feel I fit in with them and they weren't. They were talking to me like I was. An adult in a sense they weren't talking to me or anything like that, so I felt like I had that confidence to. Keep up with the adults whatever but I think that. You know if you don't have that feeling of comfort. It's again. It's a practicing just realizing like. They're not judging. They're like at a different stage in their life. Where like they actually care about shit a lot less than kids do in if anything, I think other kids are more intimidating than adults. Adults don't give a fuck over that. Most of them are like over the whole judgmental stage like they're not judging you. Some of them are, and I'm not saying they're not. But most adults are like actually kind of over that and they're just kinda chilled out so. Who Cares what they think? You know what I mean. Well not that that's not necessarily true. Who cares what they think, but Don't be intimidated by them like. They're probably. Not. Looking down at you if they are, they're fucking asshole so. Somebody said I've terrible social anxiety especially when socializing with adults. I struggle with ordering food on the phone talking to my doctors literally if you're older than me I'm scared. How can I call my nerves when needing to talk to adults like improperly communicate with them. This is tough because I think that like. This is something super normal, but I think that it's like putting yourself in those uncomfortable situations, instead of being like Hey, mom and dad. Can you guys call my doctor for me? You know what I'm. GonNa fucking do it. It's all about facing that fear and getting it over with and realizing Oh wait. That was not bad at all. Like nothing bad happened from that. And I think that when you push yourself through those uncomfortable situations enough times, you will just realize that it's really not that bad because it is in, and they're not judging you most of the time, and they're not even thinking twice about you're thinking twice about it. They don't care. People are super concerned with themselves. They're not concerned with what other people are doing. They might be a little bit, but barely you know what I mean, they don't really care. People are concerned about how they look and how they sound. They're not as worried about you, so don't ever try not to worry about that. Somebody said what are your thoughts on the phrase? Mother knows best. Do you think that adults always know what's best? How do you explain to adults that what they think is in your best interest. May Not actually be in your best interest. I do think that you know there is something to be said for the wisdom that have and for the experience that they. have in life. But. That doesn't mean that they're not the. They're definitely not always right and they definitely don't. Know Best. There's definitely still things that adults. Don't know. Everything about? Nobody knows everything about everything you know I. think that you should definitely give your parents. Or you know authority figures are people who are older than you the chance to like. Cut My earing is stuck in my fucking ear. I think it's infected. HOW FUCK! God, this is not good. There's pus coming on you in blood discussing. I think there's only be said for giving your. Elders a chance to like. Give you advice because there's a good that they do know what they're talking about. But I do think there's some scenarios where they don't and I think that. Maybe asking more adults. For more opinions and seeing if like everybody has a similar response. And not just listening to like one adult maybe like. Looking it up on the Internet like seeing what you can find like. Going elsewhere and being like okay. Let's check the credibility of this fucking advice. I don't feel good about it i. want to see what everybody else is saying. And, also thinking for yourself, too, you know what I mean at the end of the day. It's your life, and these are decisions that you're making and so. Don't worry about trying things out. I mean as long as it's harmless. Don't worry about trying things out that. Let Yourself? Make your own decisions as well. But I also think that you know. Parents still have good advice a lot of the time and they do know what they're talking about. So in sometimes our advice, you might not even make sense in the moment, but down the line will regardless. At the end of the day you're gonNA. Make your decision for yourself. Follow your gut. Do we think is right? Somebody said I get really sensitive when I'm arguing with my parents. How can I avoid that? There's nothing wrong with being sensitive and vulnerable with your parents I think that's really normal and I think. You should let yourself feel those feelings. But I also think that with practice. You can learn to take what your parents say with a grain of salt. You know what I mean, and if they say something, that's hurtful, you can learn to be like okay I, know that there, my parents and this things a little bit worse than normal. But I'M GONNA. Take this with a grain of salt in not take it too personally. They might just be angry in the moment and being impulsive in saying something that they don't mean or saying something that hurts my feelings. I'm going to confront them on this and. Try Not to get too emotional. You know what I mean. But I also think that there's you know crying and being sensitive. It's like. That's part of being human being. It's pretty hard to avoid. All last question. How do I start to talk to my strict parents about growing up so as being more responsible when every time I do, they shouted me and cry. This is another conversation that needs to be had. Wow image is like all she does is just tell you guys a fucking communicate, but. I think it is underrated. Advice because communication is absolutely key. I think that the parent I think parents biggest fear. Is that you know? Their baby is growing up in that? They'RE GONNA lose their baby right. And that you're going to not care about them anymore or something, or you're not going to like check in with them anymore and that you know they're gonNA lose you in a sense i. think that reminding your parents like hey. Just because I'm growing up just because I'm becoming independent doesn't mean I don't need you and doesn't mean that I. Don't love you and doesn't mean that I. Don't appreciate you. X Y and Z like that is not the case I'm just blossoming and like this is an amazing thing but I. Still Need you and I still. Appreciate everything that you do for me, but this is a normal part of life and I'm really excited and I want you to be excited with me and I think. They would be like what you're fucking, right? And on that note I'm exhausted. I only ever recorded this hour again. Do you could see me right now? My eyes are all swollen. Shut like I. Literally Look Like Shit, but I'm starving some go myself. A weird one am shredded cheese. On top of a piece of bread type meal with like a frozen fruit on the side. because that's all that is available right now. or at least I have the energy to make at this time. I know that this was helpful. Dealing with adults is very like case by case thing lords like really like you know it's. There's so many different. Things that we have to deal with when it comes to dealing with adults as kids, whereas like young adults but I think the communication is key and that practice makes perfect and. Push that uncomfortable Shit and you've got this I. Love You all so much. I'm here for you all. If you guys want to ask me questions or tweet me topics to talk about, the twitter is at Ag podcast. Don't forget to rate review. Subscribe on Apple Podcast spotify anywhere. Your podcast eight for always forget to say that because I. Kind of hate to say it, but like also I really appreciate it if you do and. Because they're also awesome imperfect. I'm going to bed. PISO y'all.

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