Bob Saget

Automatic TRANSCRIPT

I they j.j Gilbert. God ridden would you like game per? Video shoutout from me, Gilbert Godfried of course, you would net y you'll go to cameo DOT COM Slash Gilbert? Godfrey. For birthdays weddings, anniversaries, graduations slowed stop go do cameo dot com slash Gilbert Godfrey. It's the perfect gift. Would you be surprised if scientists learning how to fight covid nineteen from Welshpool Crop? Told you that I could spoil almost any movie based on who uses an iphone or that the cute animal crossing virtual world has turned into a capitalist nightmare that people are spending tons of real money on. Did you know that Disney apparently has a preoccupation with butts well, that's wild wild tech, the Post that brings you the. Most bizarre the most interesting stories about tech and how it's shaping our culture while tech is hosted by Jordan Erika Weber that's me on me Joshua Rivera and every week will uncover infamous stories. Input Culture and tech will learn from the experts and talk to the people who lived through these stories like when the to computer programmers decided to create an ai that made billions of melodies justice rep, the world of copyright law when they made Steph curry so good in NBA Two K. it broke the game or the time when you know what you should just listen subscribe to wildwood. Tech for free on apple PODCASTS spotify or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi. This is Gilbert Godfrey Niches Gilbert Gottfried. Amazing Palazzo Show my goal votes ranked Santo Padre gets sweet. Were turning to the show for more abuse after having appeared with us way back in two thousand sixteen he's an actor writer, the director, Cajun? Own Mutes, H. and a podcast host and one of the funniest and most provocative comedians of each generation. You've seen him in feature films like half, baked. Critical, condition. Dumb. Laura I meet wally sparks I was in that. Read My. I. Who It is we're for forty. My name I, swear to God my credits kill myself. You've seen in films that no one that saw the over at least the last paragraph all director dirty work. But to. Say here whatever wherever frank though what I say you were also in the aristocrats that bats Were you. You're responsible for it. Your. Paragraph K.. Snoop, I'd cast it's called Bob. Sagi- year for you and he doesn't know it yet but he's going to tell us the story Rodney Dangerfield and Orange Star Ron. Jeremy. Boys welcome back our old friend. Man Elijah and the only other person but sides yours jearl lean. On the show who's the put trade Abraham Lincoln are POW. Jagged. That's true. Thank you. Daniel Day Lewis did a job not as good as my roast of Abraham. Lincoln you're sensational. It happens. was. All Jeff I just sat there and took abuse like usual and other people got the credit of the actually the the forgot the name of the amazing comedian. The did Harriet Tubman. She crushed it the one that I was on Gilbert you're on one of them I Wish Hitler. Nice roasting, Frank. That's really good. It adds to the resume stays in context with the rest of your work. I liked it was tasteful. I agree. I would say something really foul right now but I can't. I tweeted something I'm going to get in trouble with us. It isn't a bad doctor because I just had to get Cova test because I'm doing a television show on Friday so they wanted to come to my house three days before i. do the television show which means I could definitely get Kobe by French kissing a ups driver tomorrow but they don't care. They just wanted it today and I wrote in Twitter I. is it a bad doctor because the swab is supposed to go in your peanuts whole right? So I'll probably be banished twitter. On A and I don't think most people call it a penis whole I think they say you're Retha. throb. Medical people were you were you were almost doctor. You should know this stuff I was I was a proctology just on corners. Job. I set it up as a punch and judy puppet show and people would just put their but up into the curtains and just go in. How're you doing what's going on with you guys? Well I remember for a while we were sending each other. We were sending each other emails back in yes. And each one got dirty and perverse and last one. Yeah we can't any of it. Yeah and we both had the idea. Let's put this out as a book. Yeah, and it was going to be my my. Conversation by conversations with Godfried by conversations with God yeah. I sent it to my manager. Go ahead I think you're going to call it to stay with Godfrey. Good. Yeah. I think that would we could we into a whole series of books that will put us in prison. It would definitely ruin whatever else we've tried to row with our careers. And my manager read the emails and said. You need to destroy us. They're not on my server, but I have them saved on a hard drive somewhere. So one day in thirty years when everything is. Doesn't matter anymore. We can release this to entire society of just derelict's just terrible. Horrible. Perverted people that fans that's the rule of law we have to wait thirty years Bob Yeah, it's really that bad. Bob Unlike me as worried about preserving his career. Well. No you Gilbert. You did something lovely and your documentary people should see what's it called Dilbert. How'd you come up the name? A hell of a business for miniature toiletry products and it really was a good. And I just think that people should see that because that. You just a sweetheart and You do what I do, which is we say the unthinkable because life. So painful that. The option is we sit there and actually have the feelings and cry all day. So instead, we talk about doing horrible things to people that. Are. The kindest people. You know that's where we say things. You shouldn't say you know the we were the kids. The first people that would hear God forbid a Helen Keller joke back in the day in elementary school and we've told those jokes and we were wrong but it's only because it's so horrible. It was like I'm the first person that would go how you wouldn't do this but I would how a person with Helen Keller's problems because I would. You know she was a genius she was she she went through a lot more than you or I I mean I wish you were blind and deaf and dumb. I. Saying I'm saying I wish you were the the new Helen Keller. Where did your dark? Where did the darkness in your sense of humor come from in part from your dad who would tell you dirty jokes at at It was Har. It's what about when you're five year I was just talking about this with my podcast. with I call people sometimes I talked with one Gilbert I need to have you on my podcast so we'll talk about that. You're now. Okay. then. Fine, you can't do it, but it's it's videos well, so you'll need to be looking at me. I know it's hard for you, but you're going to need unscreened. That I know that just your eyes are very very. You know you've got an issue with the sun. A great career would spotlight Senate to stand there. Obviously sensitive is I, think Mitch Hedberg tinted glasses should've come your way ten years. You should go on stage like George Shearing Gil I. I mean earlier hold onto that Mike, two hands because you can't see anything in your afraid the ships going to sink. So I truly suggest that you get some kind of tinted contacts or realize that your chosen field. Once you're allowed to go out and perform again I know you will get those scholastic, both Dean Martin and Ed Mcmahon Wall late call the swifty Lazar know. What's The court of a glass is. Permission. Yes. You should have them and they would be made of lead. So it pulls to the bottom of the ocean when they grow you in. Budd Friedman dill. Buds. Okay, right. Yeah. I hope so. Yeah you. We we know him a long time. Always. Yeah. He's in a wheelchair now. So if you in here by the DOC, if you sitting on his lap, I'd push both in. Do you remember meeting Gilbert for the first time and wasn't at the Improv? I think it might have been ed catch I. Think it was at a sperm bank and he was. He was a receptacle. No I think because of the height he and I got along. Great. I think it was it was a catcher as much. Yeah. Catch and he had. Had the JU- fro and A. And I had a font. I had a big old boo font that looked like I work. In the clinical area of of an administrative. Doctor's office I. Don't know what I'm saying I had a big big old hair I remember. Hanging out with you at some hotel. In La, I was doing something for Latin and you're doing something full house. And a waiter walked by with the desert wagon. And in the middle of the conversation, you said, Oh hold on a second Gilbert and you turned around and farted hunt this survey. No I didn't you who I'm not capable of doing that. Sure. Covered I. DIDN'T I? In public. How this a long time ago. So this is like twenty five years ago. Yeah. So this was you had that talent back then Oh, what I remember it was a carrot cake but I turned into black forest cake. Cap. Trickled the cake. I. Did you sure it was not love it somebody that we know of it. Maybe. Maybe zeal into. No don't start that again you trouble your. The way. Gilbert Gardner I you have caused me some trouble because I will post something sweet about you know about. Kids you're being a father or something nice on my instagram or twitter and the response is on Youtube I'll talk about stuff and my podcast and you say young people actually believe what you're bit was at my Rosta comedy central. And? Ninety. Stupid people are is they don't know irony sarcasm or the wickedest thing is the thing you say to the nicest person now you're finding humor in this time. The rose I was like Oh God. This is funny because we're all the bad boys club and it's normal. Donald Sitting There Jeff Arlen Lot of our friends Jim Norton people that we cared about and Lawrence Lieberman, clorox, Leach men, and Suzy S men, and a lot of wonderful friends of ours and everybody's laughing because it's the worst thing. What's the worst thing you can say well, the times have changed. So anybody. It's listing that has been to such a a heinous experience. You know this was not meant to make light of that. It was meant to make fun of me in the most horrific way. Possible. The sad part is is that we have to explain that now. Near the guy that looks like he wouldn't have done it. I'm guy who's the father on TV and they're nineteen year olds sixteen year olds that actually believe it's. Because I used to have a joke that men can breastfeed I actually read that and then I went. Okay. I wrote it down and then I read it and that's where we're at. We're at a place that was a joke but that's what I said. But we're at a place where anybody read something anywhere. They believe it's fact and that's the news. That's the news. Somebody's write something down someone reads it. tweets it and it's fact and it's just a world full of shit bazaars in. The world it's it's the it's not just the media human beings. It's it's. His Gilbert always done things of reverence cancer question Frank. I had people die every year or two. So I had a cousin die of cancer when I was like nine I had uncles die every year different uncle died. So that was kind of like I didn't know how to deal with death. So we started joking about it and people that have had death don't joke about it unless there is skew I was because that's how I dealt with it. My Dad dealt with it the same way he was the oldest of four brothers and a sister and he outlived all but his sister who passed away a couple of years ago. But I got her remains in there in the yard. See if you're listening just one the see. You're listening. Yeah I love that you listened so. I I. It's funny to me like when you have to apologize for any joke, make nowadays because. When they say like that. So tasteless well, yes I. When you tell a joke like that you know a stay sleighs. Ten, no, and especially at a roast I mean that's that's the that's the stock in trade of roasts. But also Gobert stand up in my standup I mean right. Before we went into quarantine I had new hour and twenty minutes ready to do a special one. Then here I am not until I'm able to go back. And a lot of it was already happening the PC of it all. So if I want to say something bad, you know, I, take a long time to tether into it and then tether and then and then come out of it. So I'll set it up and say it can't say this anymore here's something I can't say then I'll say it and then I'll say this is horrible because it affects These people and then I'll try to do some little funny asides afterward. But I I gotTA buffer it in bubble wrap it because it's not meant to hurt anyone and you have to clarify that it's not and it's still hurts people I don't WanNa hurt people you and I wanNa make people laugh Gobert. That's just a fact you WanNa hurt Gilbert a little. Don't you bob very much. So tweeting nuts. How I got a real question, an honest question to you. And it's going to be very honest I. Hope it's not invasive. How Tall Are you? I think last time they measured me, I'm like fi four. Okay This is a serious question. have. You really found that your nut sack has grown has. Doubled the land? Is it like botchy? Balls is like? What are those things called that go back and forth those. Things on somebody's desk? Yeah. Yeah. Glengarry Glen Ross, the movie starts with. The wonderful movie version of David mammoths play people listening to play is something that people go see in a thing called the're and and then it's a great story by a guy named David. Mamat. WHO's a great play right between t writes down the play. So it's not a youtube video and it's not a sitcom or show on net flicks. It's actually in a theater. I don't know I lost your listeners. I. Think they call that thing a Newton's cradle. Does that ring a bell? Bob That sounds. So. Are they hang in longer? kind of like. When you're young you WANNA big bulge in your pants and when you get older, you get that at your bolt. Or goiter. How? You have. How I'm hoping for one. I didn't know when you started. You did you had a guitar it's part of your act for ten years. To when I was seventeen, I want a radio contest. For W. In Philadelphia and sang a song about. A seventeen year old singing a song about bondage already he's GonNa be fine. Gilbert what was your joke? Like you started at seventeen or something right Yeah. When I started I was basically like you know Frank Goshen or rich little. You know a was like. Off Impressions or Pro Yeah about that. Wow, I forgot that you did Sullivan. Never, on. stage. You did it off stage. Stage constantly by. Who who did you do? Who Did you who your impression Oh God? Humphrey, Bogart Laurie, Boris Karloff even better. Stop everybody could appreciate. That is dead. Dead. Dead when you started bill. Maher. is so disturbing and Do a bit that had both Richard Burton and James Mason and they both died within two days of each other. But you should write more bits about people that you want dead. Bob You're a fan of the old school comics. Obviously you knew Rodney, you knew rickles biden them. Well, I mean Rodney. was very close with and he started when I was twenty four. And put me in the young comedians specials. One of the many starts in my career I've had a lot and so I was on the one Sam Kennison and use them to Sam Kennison. And Sam is the thing that exploded out of that special and then and rickles I became I put him in the movie dirty work that I directed nor McDonald's movie and minorities and Bunch of great people in that and. Don and I became friendly through John Stamos really made that happen because John was close. He had had older man thing and introduced me to so many people I got to close with because of John Gary. Marshall One of my dearest friends in my whole life right now is Norman Lear who just turned ninety, eight, ninety eight and he's he's a a fucking genius. He is on the PODCAST. Yeah, and I see him all the time we do zooms with all of our guys. We have a cigar night with a music company that owned for years called concord after he stopped making television but now he's back making television. Yeah he's doing so much. He's got a new show that I can't talk about, but it's he's ninety eight and. He told me last year A. His show one day at a time came back to the Latino version and it's doing really well, it was canceled by a Netflix and then picked up by another I think pop. I'm not sure but it's really good. It's got a great cast read. Moreno and Hector Sandro is just a special special show. Any said he had to sign a three year contract at ninety seven? Can you believe. Her contract at ninety. Seven. He's in. And if you look at the Norman Lear and Instagram, he gives Monday his morning messages sometimes. Yeah and the human face when he turned ninety eight, he said I. Wish I could dig a hole and I got scared at the setup and then he said I wish I could dig a hole for all the gratitude I feel how deep that whole would be or wish I could fly on a Plane and go as high as I can to show how much gratitude I feel for every day that I have a live and for how much I appreciate all the people, all the love that I'm getting on my birthday and that's how we should look at Life I. Mean we've all been to shit I mean Gilbert you've been to a bunch of stuff I've been through a bunch of stuff. Franken or know your story of you've been too much of stuff. A little bit here and there what's the worst thing that you don't WanNa talk about that you've been through. Oh God co hosting this show with. You ever have almost lethal prostate exam. It's early yet Bob I'm hopeful I remember. There was a picture. That Allan. King had where he's with Martin and Lewis when they were back when they were team and they're all young in it and smile link and he titled The picture. Back before anything bad or sad happened. About the Web. That's nice. But I mean, he probably wrote that when we were pulling our troops out of Nazi Germany. Yeah I don't think there's been a time. In mankind where they haven't been just a bunch of fuck watts in the world, you know I was talking today about it on my podcast because I don't mention my podcast enough. It's called Bob Sag here for you I don't know how they came up with the name. But What's the name of your podcast? Number two you know Gilbert. Gottfried. Gymnasium call. So podcast. Name Aries. Gilbert. Guy You're renting. You're in Documenta right. Berkeley who did a wonderful job with that documentary there's also you and I are on bumping Mike's with Jeff. Rossen Dave attell on net flicks and you and I sat next to each other Andrew directly just rolled film or whatever the hell it was hard drive. And said that that footage. Is a special by itself. That you and I talked for like a half an hour. So I want to get a hold of it because. We just did this and sat next to each other and. I. Think I talked about what made you like how you are because we've had this conversation before I'm like. Did you have grandparents in the Holocaust your parents who was affected and it's like you said nobody in my answer was then why? An excellent question. Because it's almost like you have to go through that or have family that you go. Okay. I'm gone off the rails in what acknowledged Rodney by the way you brought Rodney up who who you were close to four year. Gobert teased I mean he teased it in the intro. So yeah, forty well, fortieth anniversary of caddyshack this past weekend. Yeah, and and Gilbert celebrating anniversary do you want to congratulate him on thirty years of Problem Child Bub? That's so fantastic. You Know People Love Problem Child Yeah. Kill through eight. So weird because when it came out, it was on ever critics were film lists. But the public loved it. I M people like every day. Practically they're in love with problem. You also have John Ritter. and. You got along well with him. Great. Yeah. He was store if. He is one of the biggest losses I am so sorry, he's gone because he was. He was such a beautiful person. One of the kindest sweetest and my heart goes out to amy as Beck in his kids and you know and I did a quantum leap once with her. So I kissed her on a quantum leap Cheswick. Here with us a couple of weeks ago, I love her and. And show. You know you don't get over losing the love, your life. and she and he was just also so talented such a good actor and. You know there's a lot of footage of him onstage with Robin Williams and that's That's amazing. Gilbert. You spent time on stage with Robin, right? I. Yeah. I mean one of the great honors is he would always come into the comedy clubs and a number of times would say or Gilbert come up here. And then we start ripping and it was like I like I said he was. Both exhilarating and exhausting at the same time. He was a missile it was unbelievable, and then when you think everything's okay, he would march down stage of foot and a half or March upstage a foot and a half and like this. Don't exist. Yes but the whole point was it's a play date and I can't control myself and that was the point of all of it and we're not talking about drugs. We're talking about a guy talking about all of us were guys WANNA play. So when we're together, there's a delight with Comedians with Robin when I was on stage with them, it would always because I was hosting something whether it'd be my Scleroderma benefit that you've been gracious enough to do. One night. At Caroline's in New York we did it and you performed and the performers were Jimmy Fallon and Robin and I was hosting and a you N. up and. We all just stood there and watched you and cried because you because we you know we get you so much and it's so hilarious. Who you are and how you do what you do, which there's only one you and and I would be unstaged with Robin. I would resort to this. He go ladies, gentlemen, Robin Williams he come on stage, and we'd maybe do a couple of lines back and forth I'm talking. Clever lines stayed dialogue and then and then I would literally dry hump and that's what I would do. I would just. Try. And he would go stop it. I'm to Harry Getaway I'm sweaty and and then it was the only thing but it was hilarious to him because it diffused And he is. A when you say his name to people, people are immediately sad because he was and will always be for. This hundred years that people are living One of the most beloved people whoever got on stage whoever did a movie? Whoever did comedy? With. All of his devils and with all of his he was also this amazing human. Replaceable People Ritter and Robin. Yeah, we got a bunch of. Those. But yeah, those two I gotta ask you one thing I heard about Rodney can't talk about. Listening listening to your podcasts and you were talking about Rodney and wondered if Gilbert would relate to this that Rodney compared doing standup comedian doing stand up comedy to being a border guard. Yeah. That's what I talk about. Rodney would say. Doing. Stand up man it's like doing trying to get a Nazi Germany. So you do six minutes for the guard at the border and you're if you're funny, let you go not shoot you in the fucking head. He looked at stand up comedy and that's why he was always sweaty always wanting to kill always feeling that desperation and not treated with respect for so long. Three names. Jacob Cohen, Jack Royer and Rodney Dangerfield and talk about them a lot because he's a legend and he didn't get caddyshack till. He was fifty eight I know Lake career very late movie career I remember him on Stage one time and you new material limit was bombing and then he stopped and looked at the audiences. It. And went. For anyone tells you your a hot crowd Ju- spitting netface? I. Do. You want to tell the Ron Jeremy Story since we teased it in the opening both yes, sure. I was I tell a lot because. I had heard it before. Yeah. It's a nice when it's good for the kids. Kids kids got laugh to. What happened was supposed to go to dinner with? Rodney. And I was GONNA take him to the palm which he had mid to for ten years because he was mad at them because one time he went there and they gave me one big claw little claw man. There was an insult. The lobster King Came and he went no man was not love to came. They purposely gave me a smaller. I. Think so And then he goes. Hysterically. He goes I went to pick them up seven o'clock goes right on time he was. In a robe and his balls or hanging out because he was always have. Hit a big cut down his chest because he had surgery took out all my guts man they made them next to me and they put them back. Look up fucked up it. He's got this jagged scar in the middle of his chest and he says to me. You didn't call to confirm. I, didn't think you were coming I mean we had a date. Yeah. and as I walked in his wife Joan was leaving with a friend and so they were going out on the town I. Think 'cause Rodney was going to be with me and. then. Rodney goes an I don't the. I got Ron Jeremy Coming up here with two hookers than I gotTa have him sign this release and it was first book and then I look at the release on the table and it's two sentences. It just says Eireann Jeremy. Allow Rodney to use me in his book, and then it's a you know an open blue dotted line firm to sign and that's I. Don't know if you've got holds up in court but. We want to stay and hang out and he's smoking a joint am I don't think. So Rodney everytime you shakes my hand I worry were his been I don't Wanna I, don't WanNa. Do it he goes all right. Man I'm sorry man I'm sorry any. He walks over to the elevator of people that don't know Ron Jeremy was. Still is I guess porn star who is very well known for being able to. Pleasure himself with his own mouth because he's like a Roly Poly Potato Bug. So It's not a pretty picture not something you want to see but that was one of his talents of besides being a big fan of comedy. So Rodney. Walked into the elevator which led just to his apartment. And Rodney is standing there and I see the scar in his chest than he says to me. Sorry. I'm really sorry. I didn't know I. Went. You know I just WanNa know how you're doing and he goes you are no harm doing I'll tell you home and you're leaving and I'm waiting for guy can suck his own cop that's how doing. And then the elevator doors close. And I literally. Laughed out loud. I could not stop laughing on. Truth. and. The truth. Funny Rodney was Rodney. And I loved presided over his over his funeral service. Yeah. Guy. and. I was insulted by some comedians. Jim. Carrey. was very kind to me after Jay Leno got up I. J said to me I gotTa Five o'clock flight to Vegas. Think I can go on early. Yeah I'll put you on early J. Edge atrocities funeral. And, but he must be sincere. Wasn't being mean about it except he did say eighty four that's that's a long life right and when I don't think so not from that perspective no, I don't think so all right. So but that was he wasn't there wasn't malice j you know. Yeah. Joe's always nice to me. I know people have had issues, but he's always been kind to me did my benefit and I was on the show when he hosted all that crazy that goes on in his stupid competitive business but and then he did do a comment about me which pissed me off he said. It's good to see Bob at working again that's pretty said. The Funeral. Out there were no other Roasti. kind of jokes it was kind of the only. Cruel joke. Nobody laughed because. It just was out of place because it was very rodney. Rodney wouldn't have liked it because Rodney really didn't like roast humor very much cheats interesting just like good jokes and he liked helping young comedians. Then Jim Carey when upright after and remember this to remember that Bob because he realized that I just been put down. At. Feud. Off. And I'm like and Louisiana's and put his hand me and he goes he doesn't mean anything by Bob don't worry. Very loving Louis is very loving but there was a heavy duty funeral. It was very painful. And it was sad. We couldn't do the prayers we want to do I felt bad for his kids who Brian. Beautiful Melanie and they gotta keep in contact with her I got a contact, her I feel kind of during Cova Union quarantine you kind of think. But the people you want to reach out to and you weren't one of them Gilbert. You reflect on your life. You know we had Garrett here a couple of weeks ago Bob and we were talking about how we all grew up on the on the Carson show. How was event television when one of these comics come on? Growing up in Philly we're you the kind of kid that would stay up late to watch carson to see infamous Rodney to see when when when rickles liaison absolutely watch the dean. Martin roasts, which we all upset I watch all of it but before that it was he johnny Carson was ninety minutes long. That sure told I am so I was in Washington DC staying at my cousin footsie's house and cousin tootsie. God bless her. She had always say that before you say seven terrible she had a holy. Savior laps and. And so she was on crutches and she was really mad at me Shit a beautiful apartment with. Her husband Jules and A The tyskie and I went to go visit them in Washington DC and I had dogs all over my shoes and didn't know and she had light blue carpeting much like the White House has although now i. think it's all orange. I'm not sure. I track dog shit all over and cheers she came out with her crutches and G by. Carpet she had a very strong southern accent sounded like Felix the cat and Mickey Mouse and she was actually loved her a lot and I stayed there alone. At nine years old, they left me with juozas sister, my aunt Becky who was senile. But she was taking care of me and I watched Johnny Carson New Year's and I lit a sparkler all by myself. And Johnny Carson was my companion at nine years old about that because he talked so like a person. And that's what a great great broadcaster he was said, he brought solace to a nine year old kid. and made me feel like I wasn't alone and I think the whole country felt that way about him. Dead. Airs. I I heard you talking to Jon. Hamm on your podcast about Carson and you still you still revere him. EH? Everyone should there will never be another? He was amazing. He was incredibly kind to me. And he was probably in an Letterman was also one of the best that will ever lived and also took his cue from Janis. Greatness. and then everybody we have. Now I'm enjoying I don't enjoy zoom television but. I get solid sometimes in Stephen Colbert my friend Jimmy Kimmel and you know. Sometimes you you get something that feels good when you're watching. The guys in doing late night, we could use a lady in there. Almost Arsenio bit read I think there's a a lot of open holes just in Gobert body alone. We will return to Gilbert Godfrey JR amazing colossal podcast after this support for this podcast comes from state farm with surprisingly great rates. State farm is the real deal when it comes to home and car insurance state farm agents are always ready to help you personalize your insurance plan. You can create a policy that fits your needs. You can manage your coverage, pay your bill or even file a claim right from your phone with the State Farm Mobile. APP, and you can always call one of the state farm agents in neighborhoods across the country. 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T it up a lot more careful but I. think he went out before this happened and I saw his show near the end. I loved him so much. It's. You know he was full of love I'm sure he was always kind to you right Gobert. Do, you know I've never met Don rickles. Oh. That's right. He told me by choice. I'm really sorry I'm sorry I brought it up. What was what was dinner like with him when he was when he wasn't on Bob Well, who's being? Honest with me I know he was always trying to get you John to settle down that was important to him. He'd always tell us this. You know stop. Stop dating kids. You know. You would always make jokes telling thirteen year olds can't say. You can't say that. And it was all his his act was. You know making fun of everybody and it was it came from. A place of bad time and a place of love. I think a good example for people that haven't seen it and talked about it before is if you WanNa see Don rickles and get what he meant. And get where he was coming from watch. Denzel Washington on Letterman guerrilla. Yeah. Watch the whole lot. It was a whole thing has denzel on for three segments and then don can you believe you wanted to stay during my segments and Donna's like a little kid? He says I can't believe it. Oh my God does he get me? Does he think I'm funny and Denzel's there and done. Comes out and he says stuff to Denzel like get my car and things that are. Just horrific and and no one else could should or would say like that and Denzel is crying. Because what he's doing is he's would ends impossible to explain. Yeah but he's making but it does it does for some people that does further racism and for other people, it's shining a light on it right? Because that's what he meant to do. But eastern a different generation where the rat pack would do impressions of Amos and Andy and when I hear that now. It doesn't sit well with me. When they do that all of the frank and dean these guys I love the rat pack, but don would do it some but not it was different with Don. Don? Spent. A lot of time also. Eat every, ethnicity yeah. Jews were not spared. Waspy people were not spared, but you can't do that at my friend, Jimmy car- WHO's on my podcast This week. And Jimmy. Come Funny Comic Jimmy He's very actually love. Is In our vein, I mean the one ARPITA says. He's he's wonderful. He's in Britain knees he's fantastic and he. Had A great joke I'm not GonNa do it justice and said you know everything's changed you WanNa do things at a prolific PC and? If you're. Jewish make fun of Jews if you're black, you can make fun of blacks of your Asian. You're the only one that can make fun of Asians and he went through an another couple of. People, and then he said, take me for example. When you're a pedophile, you can own and then stops talking. To basically he's just calling himself a pedophile that's basically, and and that word you know I'll say something that's irreverend or some dirty or the reference a you gave me on your roast a my rose that you said that horrible thing and then I'll read somebody say Peto, and that offends me a lot. It upsets me a lot and when I was single I got divorced twenty five years ago I dated people that were. Like younger than me, they were all legal there over twenty one but I was forty, one, forty two and I went to a little bit of a face, but I didn't do. I, never was a Predator people had that you know this covert you're like this. Also women had to throw themselves at me I'm sure you went to that a lot of Darah where women would literally throw themselves. Physically literally. And throw to the ground and their their their reason was to crush you to crushing. Then destroy you. I was like Kat city. You were. was you're like Butch Cassidy? Jumped, off the cliff. You talking about that clip of rickles and Denzel Washington. And they was funny when you watch it rickles is making these rate Denzel one point. What are you hear the after sweep up afterwards And then Joe Washington is honored by it. Yes and he's trying, yeah, he's crying and he's slouching in the chair more relaxed than I've ever seen him on anything. And you can tell the don revered him. because. Don also was an actor and he wanted to be an actor and wanted to be bigger and movies. And he knows the Denzel is and will always be one of the greatest actors. Of all time. And you know I mean I was within with. I wished ends up but unfortunately don, not. Doing his humor and it's not good as Donna dinner and Sidney Poitier walked over. And he did the same joke, he said they, Sydney. Versed he came over and they hugged each other and then Sydney, at that time I think it was like eighty seven or something and I don't know how old he is now, but he's he's he's one of my heroes for God's sakes and and done said, get my car and. Then he's talking to you know one of the most beautiful human beings that ever lived in changed. Movies and changed acting for. Black actors. And he was one of the very few. It's it's. Had Whoopi, on my podcast and we talked about it had been thirty five years forty years someone. African American was nominated for an academy award. Howdy mcdaniel I think. Yeah, been a long time. So I mean that's that speaks volumes and I think. The change has happened and it's GonNa Change More and There's something very special about. The difficulty of this time I think I think some wonderful things will come out of these incredibly painful moments were all living through and. And there will be more unity and there be more justice for people. That's what I'm I'm hoping for us. Hope. Let us hope I know that dawn wants wanted to be honored by the Kennedy Center. And it never came for. Jimmy Kimmel really tried. Yeah. As. Blood, with the Kennedy. Sold history. Now. I think it might've been. It could've been part of the content of his material could have had to do with that I'm not sure I. Don't know. But he was honored at the Apollo Theater and I couldn't go to it because I was working and wished I could have gone and it was a beautiful night and the was treated. was. The beginning of the Apollo. I thought it was the Apollo I'm not sure but it was a beautiful honoring and. A lot of people spoke and paid tribute to this incredibly funny guy. He did things to me that were just hilarious. He I I've told this story many too many times told on your podcast back in the fifties. He he? I hadn't seen him after dirty work for a while and he grabbed me by the head in a restaurant. And he comes up to me and he goes I. Don't Miss You all. I. That's comedy. You know that's just that's what it is. That's what I love. Can I ask you a couple of questions from listen. I'm really sorry I'm under a agreement with. A operative. Homeland, all of it, all eight years. So I'm really looking wow, eight years in three weeks. This terrence stackhouse wants to know how much better would full house have been Gilbert had played the role of Uncle Jesse. Well. The point of of Go Jesse was Hong. So obviously with a Lotta prosthetics and a WIG and. And maybe be standing on a movable cart of. Play Joey but it would have scared the children could have been. As part on C., Gilbert, with a mullet. Able to work with Scott Y. Her again who was right He was. There you go and you're the voice of the parrot. Kaka. Parrot. COCKATOO. What's The. On Me Ongo IAGO. For like a fellow. O. IAGO yes sir. What's up fellow? It's from fellow. Because our fellows, a different word entirely here's one from Andrew Luck Osha what is no him and you want to buy the law do what is ops favorite memory of course, leach men at his comedy central. Roast. Just how nice she was how excited she was to be there because I you know I would I snuck into watch Mary. Tyler. Moore. Show and Bob Newhart show when I was young Oh and and I got to watch her work on Mary Tyler Moore show and I couldn't believe what I was watching sixteen or something fifteen maybe and then I Frankenstein. Has a block or Chooses. Unbelievably genius comedic genius said what she did and such a great actress and so I was excited she was there and she was excited because she had great material I didn't come here to roast, Bob Saga I came here to Fuck John, stamos. I mean know. You can't use an. I remember US lower sleet men. When she got up to the Mike said. You'll excuse me if I don't know if you are I'm older now and all I do is watch TV go to the movies and read magazines. And then she put down on, you youtube stars and all this stuff. As though all those people have no talent which we know they have amazing talent. Of course, some do some do some Youtube Star Watch what they're doing I'm going holy. Shit. Director. Movie. Ones I go. Everybody wants to be famous. That's like the weird part. That's. Mark, Arnold wants to know what it was like working with somebody Gilbert work with a great. Jack. Warden when you directed dirty work oh God having it was amazing. All I could think about was heaven can wait and and being there and all the movies that he was. Yes I mean I worship his work what what a consummate actor He was hilarious. He was so hilarious and so strong. Remember the producer was annoyed because he had to keep going can you give me a horror and a producer kept saying? Can you get him say or? And I went nobody's saying it old school. It's his way of saying it here there. And I went over to Jack said the producer wants you to say whore and he said, no, you also speaking of your directing Bob. What's this I'm hearing about a Martin Mull documentary. Yeah it is in process. It's been a bit on hold because of covid. So it's hard to shoot more, but we've had a lot of great people we've interviewed for. A Martin Mall is a guy that I always looked up to of people don't know his work they're missing something he was one of my comedian Mutasa musical comedian so he would write the best comedy songs we Fan Gobert of Martin's Oh. Yeah and I those albums you were on were you on firm with tonight I wasn't on Fernwood tonight I worked with him on till death. Okay. So two episodes that. He. Is An amazing artist and that's the theme of the documentary and Kevin Bright's to producer and I've been directing and. Or we both do both and. The point is to give Martin is do his art is unbelievable and it's so socially relevant because he's always been ashamed to be the whitest man in the world. And And grew up in Ohio and a very vanilla life and yet his show fernwood tonight. With Fred Willard, he and Fred Willard teamed up and it was beyond brilliant and it really was about. Like rickles thing it would. It would have they Fred Willard's character was racist how and we just say this stuff delightfully and about Jews and blacks and this and that and but it was meant because there wasn't. There wasn't a racist bone anywhere in that show and Norman Lear produced it who of course it all in the family and? Good Times in the Jeffersons Maude so is coming from a man who is. A for the the human rights in American way of good people show ahead of its time. I Martin Mall One said when men get older, they look like Sean Connery when women get older they look like Sean connery remember that. He was unbelievable and. So far, we've interviewed Steve Martin, and Eric Idle and David Alan Grier oh Many many people that Love Martin. Any also physicians plays guitar and Touch Mattis Life did a a great thing years ago. Believe it was on showtime, go the history of white people in America right television and it's you know can't be done now it's one of those shows that can't be done now but it's making fun of white people. and this documentary if you look at his art. In really deals with racial issues and how people black people in America have been held down. And that's his paintings. He is one of the most beautiful souls that I know and very prolific. Just he's writing wrote a book and he's finishing it and it's What I've read is just perfect I actually did the warm up for show that he starting called domestic life and Steve Martin and he were executive producers and Martin was the father and it was really good really good at had that wry sense of humor. Would have been like a home improvement type of show, but it was very smart and very didn't have a lot of hooks and it had Martin's kind of low key rise sarcasm and I did the warm up I remember doing the warm up with Steve Martin. He grabs a Mike and starts talking to the audience and. I had a mike also that was like an honor and I was trying to make Steve Martin Laugh and I was twenty. I. And I said, is he this jacket and Steve Goes yes I go ten thousand dollars and Steve Laughed I was twenty four, twenty, five makers, Steve Martin Laugh, and. He's one of my favorites also in life. have. You had him on the podcast Gilbert. Now have not had good Morton you gotta get bigger. You gotta get really. We had an Arkan couple of weeks ago and Arkansas goddamn genius. Yes, he is. Yes, he is. A movie with him? I remember one time. That comedy festival I was invited to be on stage with Martin Mullen Fred Willard. Where they were interviewing me like a what's my line where they both put on blindfolds and they were asking the usual question? Are you a singer? Are you a dancer is trump and then they said, all right we don't know. So it taking our blindfold saw and they both took their blindfolds off and looked at me and said. Are you in business. Ask. Oh my God how did it end up? Oh dressed like that like they never guessed who was own know how? is going to be dirty work sequel there. And will you will you include the donut seen I? Know people would not have old footage it'd be a new movie psycho. I talk of it by can't say more than that interest but there is talk of it and Norman I have been. Wanting to do it for a long time and so. We're we're at we're we're doing what you do. During this time it's hard to get things set up. You know Hey, you know no, one can work. Let's. Let's go to. Let's go make movie. I didn't know they were out of the theater and watch zoom of. People doing. What was happening is people are doing reboots. They're doing zoom reboots, your favorite things even Hamilton's coming up. It's going to be a zoom of the whole cast you know so. A lot of TV shows are doing it. They couldn't do the friends one. I don't know what happened but I'm sure they will at some point here. Here's one for both of you from someone who obviously listened to your first appearance here Bob 2015, fifteen. Brian, Hunter wants to know who gave the best head Ernest Borgnine Dan Blocker or Claude. I don't know who he's talking to I have to throw that to Gilbert. I think. That's an easy one. It was lying all add. A SILENT FILM STAR was what you'd want is you want WanNa silent film circus they won't talk about it afterwards. Time you were on, we were doing a questionnaire. Back Online who had the hairiest wall the. Best that, who gave the best task? We would want one of those gentlemen. blockers good name because it would be a cocker so you'd rule him out. You actually ask Gilbert who who had the most disappointing penis that he ever put in his mouth and Gilbert you said Richard Karenna. I could. Go there but I would say gig young. GIG y'all that. Sad actually yes. He actually took his own life. Horrible. Great. Actor Great. For twilight tones. I. Think what happens in it walking distance that's right. Whereas car breaks down from his town grew up in and he goes back there and he's back in time. And meets himself as a little kid. That they do that in every show on television now. But Pretty special. Yeah. Yeah. He is a great actor. There's so many great ones. Do you remember speaking of the Arkansas you remember making a Werewolf movie with that I was the first thing I did Larry Cohen Gilbert Larry Cohen I now. Was Great. He was great. He was made a lot of those movies. He also made that believe made blacula. Yes. I. Think he did he made a lot of blaxploitation movies with. Fred the Hammer Williamson. I don't think he made blacula. But he didn't are you sure I don't think that was one of his. He was already too good to be one. William Crane directed BLACULA. There you go. Yeah but but Larry Definitely He he that was genre was. That he moved around well in. Very comfortably, he was a total character 'cause every. Really was. Go ahead now I you're saying just about everything he said on the podcast you go. Okay see telling the truth to right now or is this total bullshit? Oh, so you have Larry on. Years. Scoring. He was wonderful larger than life. That's so funny. There's another one for you. Bob You had him on. Is Hilarious oh. Yeah. We love those guys I mean we you know we had We had Richard. Donner, here too. We love those director star. Jeffrey Dahmer Jeffrey? Dahmer. I remember that one guilders David Berkowitz cancel that. To who's who's your favorite guest you've had on besides me. Wow. So many we've I mean I I loved. Nielsen DACA. Jacket I. Love. Bob? Einstein. He's huge loss by. Another irreplaceable. Derek Long So we're. Talking about people that we can never replace but Bob. You're also talking for an audience that is hundred. So that's this show. This show is your audiences a hundred years old. Well, we're trying to teach seniors download the podcast. Sponsors we do. A is it mostly adult diapers and stuff all exclusively. Earlier louder and catheters. God. We. Blew. Commercials that start out are you aware of how expensive funeral convey? Bought this, you ever work with Pat McCormick. Would say shit to me because I was on the tonight show. So when I see him, he would come over to tell me real dirty stuff. Did you have them on? No, he went. Longtime he was a guy now the story about him as an old couple in the valley came over is, can you tell me how to get to Sepulveda's and Burbank Boulevard supposedly took out his penis and goes okay being encouraged. Any use that as a Thomas Guide. There's a reference Thomas Guide yeah. Right. Here's one that I haven't thought of in twenty years. Amanda Steph Stefaniuk says I've got to listen to the Bob's original episode to Jog my memory but I would love to ask him what was going through his head as nor McDonald performed his legendary roast. Seemingly cribbed from an old joke book. Well. I talked to norm on the phone about it and we had decided that he said I can't make funny in you're my friend went norm you have to do we do it rose, which is you got to criticize me or I'm just kidding me jokes from nineteen forties joke book and I went. DACA. Offers, you can't do that anyway I don't care. Don't make fun of my friends and. I went okay. I should say fuck at least is like Nah I don't WanNa. Do that. and. So it's hilarious. He ended up doing the craziest twenty minutes. If you remember Gobert it was just I hear. I remember he said. And I took my friend Gilbert and. I said this door backstage that says gentlemen well pay no he you can go. Right. Paying no heed. Doing. He was literally talking like Robert e Lee. Robert, but it was doing jokes from nineteen forties joke book, and at one point he's visited. Bob's got a face like a flower a collie flower. And then no no response because I'm saying you gotTA fucking dog face. Okay and then got a big laugh and then I'm like notting like, yeah. Yeah. Curse narms going to work and then he was doing his carson thing and then while everyone else was roasting me, he was reading the sports section, which is pure norm. I disagree with what Gender Gobert that was so much fun. We went to dinner with norm and Jeff Ross and you and me yeah repayment. Yeah I remember it was in La. Was in Jones Jones at Formosa. And it was just non stop laughing and joking now whole time and then. You and I were doing our our joke. Two Day. I saw the dummy window. So we were in that over and over again and Norman others is great. You're doing inside joke from last night's dinner. He was he was. Understandably annoyed you know. So. Funny. I love him very much he is. Obviously one of the funniest people alive route. But I went to the Friars Jeff Ross took me to the friars. Were you spent a Lotta time there right Oh yes. Yeah. A member. You it's well, I never. wrote out a check to them obviously and. League. Obvious. Show. Showing this Jewish person alive is that your thing show because? y'All I felt that any event where I could get a free dinner at. They eventually make me an honorary member right what. What will they needed? Needed up. there. So what happened? What happened you go there all the time I? Yeah, I've been I've been. Rose. Still there is gone is a they'd done I don't. Cove it before quarantine and they go away I think they shut the place they were having financial problems and they temporarily shuttered even before covid did someone steal money there was some embezzlement. allegedly. Night that's so nice. Allegedly I heard like the. Guy Actually showed up and we're taking records at their files records like famous Lenny Bruce. Martin Muller Records. Oh that's funny. I wish Frank Fontaine songs I sing on their Jackie gleason. Joe. Hi You. CARE and. Then Foster Brooks. On. A destroyed. Now. Try To do a Jong Act nowadays another one. You, know there's a lot of people that are when you get on stage. We will return to Gilbert Godfrey. Amazing Colossal podcasts but first a word from our sponsor Bob, how you enjoying being podcast. It I. Love It. I, guess I'm thirty six episodes in something that. I love doing it and it's doing well and I'm lucky to have my friends on. which I understand why you don't want to be on a Gilbert and You're also dispensing advice to the public. which whatever they want to talk about. You know sometimes it's advice sometimes it's just. A just trying to make them feel good because life's not easy. You know so I'm trying to help. And whenever can and I have conversations a lot it's not funny. It's just conversations because a lot of people that are lonely and. I've just been reaching out. Of course. stamos. Was My first guest was audio only now at Zoom and then I put up on I don't put it up, they put it up on a youtube page I never had. A Youtube Page Gilbert. Oh I've got all those things and. Look at it. He's on trade talk. Yeah. I might talk to. My thirteen year old daughter is in. The Youtube people give nice comments like. I, hate both of you. I WANNA delete them, but it's like I don't have time for that. You this let them be morons or. JUST WEIRD STUFF CASANOVA GETS POLITICAL BECAUSE I won't be Goldberg as a guest. So they're like they don't they all we talked about what's wrong with the world why can't people this love each other and people don't want to hear that you can't say why can't people love each other go fuck you. Outraged the. Conversation so I'm just trying to do whatever I can last question for me. Bob Bill Cosby actually advise you to not work. So blue. Go Yeah he always. He always did. But I got it out on stage and he got it out and people's faces. Do Do you know anything about? I'll yes this one of the writers of the Cosby show when I was when I did a guest. told me that cosby had it in his schedule that an hour was set aside did teach comedy to Asian models. But that makes sense that that sounds. Here, that's why you hear. So many Asian girls gone. Wrong. I. My friend. Over You know when you see pictures of him now he doesn't look happy I don't understand. Any idolized him. That's the weirdest part. I really did look up to him when he was on I spy was his with his albums. Influence you know I started cleaner, and then I don't know what happened I kind of blew up by TV imager did more what I did before I got. Family shows and I still my I guess my ex less blue than it used to be a the air my act whatever I'm rolling right now and stand up is not as blue Trying to do what? I find funny and I tell stories and I love a good deal I mean who doesn't? WanNa. We also want to thank you for being part of our sixth anniversary show with your nice video congratulations that you sent. Then Oh that was really heartfelt but I faked it I know. I. Love you Gilbert and I like you frank is an acquaintance thing. And I love Darah and I don't know Matt but I love his screensaver. Up. I wish right now Gobert is for your health and your safety and. And don't let people come over and do their nose into your mouth. Where you get it. Don't go the hospitals into the Cova testing room and get all of the swabs in south on them. I would say that'd be really stupid in dangerous or. You. Don't don't go into the intensive care and just take deep breaths and go out. You know. Do stuff like that and be safe and. All these people that don't want our mask takes their freedoms of they really should wear them because they're really ugly there. Most of I haven't seen a really good-looking person screaming about. Michelle pfeiffer complaining. Mask. And they just look really they look like one of the statues that are made tinfoil they're taken down. Why are people have said we're taking down statues that are hollow like a Easter bunny chocolate you know those hollow Easter things. Are you don't know from eastern you don't. Talk The bunny. Gilbert, do you ever eat a chocolate for the big chocolate? Easter bunnies I had the chocolate bunnies. Had the chocolate Santa clauses, and of course, the Hanukkah Gelt. Yes. Role in aluminum foil and the. Was, the outside was nice. All of them and the chocolate was the cheapest shit and the words Shit. Chocolate was made a wax. Yeah and yeah, it was I think there's Watson it not unlike those things that were filled with sugar water that were wax and kids would eat it. I remember that Your Lips That ship was in those fake. Easter Bunny. Santa. Claus when you got Santa Claus Chocolate is the first thing you would eat would be Dick. You write for Santa's ass I look out his ass all. You need is sack and swallowed toys well, first night world. My face against sent. Because so So Christmas sure that I loved him. Right Did you believe that he's not your I rubbed my face. The Heat Easter bunnies balls. because. They felt like cotton balls. Collymore worse they were. A teenager I would call a supermarket and say you, it's an old joke cotton balls. And then they would. The punchline would be that the guy was saying, who do you think I am Peter. Rabbit. For. Nobody ever finished it. Did you ever write letters to Santa as a little kid? I, hope that you could one day eat is chocolate of all. Well I was never witty I would. Say Death and say. Look Lick. This shit at Iran's all. The Santa. Santa. At the north. Pole I wouldn't worry I. Fear Bunny I'm not an idiot bunnies regan every bunny. Santa how were you? Will you wrote? Fanta I. Think I wish to. And what exactly tell me the wording out got you wrote the Santa when you were to dear Santa. Can I lick the Shit at? All. You ever answer did you get your Christmas wish we I we were at Penn Tiles. Really. So if you say perverted stuff in the letter to Santa, he writes back and then then I wrote him and said I Lick your big sack. I. Think you'll I think we're going to save this for the Christmas episode. Going to hang on. Hang on. Copy and paste. Yes only July but we'll we'll. Don't cut this from the episode. Gosh. No. These are gills we're going to plug. It's Let's let's also plug your book from two from two, thousand, fourteen which. Don't do these old credits. You're causing a lot of pain dirty daddy. Book available now on Microfiche. So. You can get where you can get Gilbert's book. And Guess Dirty Daddy's in paperbacks though and they will. We will look for the Martin Mull Doc when all this shit is over and the podcast called Bob Sagi- here for you. And that's available wherever you get your podcast. Apple or spotify, your grandmother's house, and finally, what do you know about Cesar? Romero. Mino- that my mother saw him in a parking lot and said that he hit on her on nine Jeez in the valley years ago and my mother's gone for years. But twenty five years ago she says, she saw Cesar Romero not dressed as the joker from the. Batman and he? came up to her and he was wearing a black leather jacket bobby I'm not. On, get a drink with me. So my mother apparently was attractive back then of my dad was sexually abused by Frank Gorton. Tragic Yes. Riddle me this and then what he did, but his penis and his penis shape question mark. Ask. What's your grandmother abused by David Wayne? I think you've hit a nerve. You knew that. Yeah. My Grandmother was actually David Blaine encased her in ice. SLABS OF ICE. Did Your Grandmother Ever, go down on either Julie Newmar yes. Yes. Yes. Yes she went down on my grandmother my bubby. went down on everybody. Everybody and that's how she got to America from Russia. Fuck, I forget earth that a wife who is the? Earth? Yeah I don't talk about my my. Way But? Yes. The answer. I don't I. Don't talk about it that way. What about the victims? Bueno. Buoyed Harrow. On on Batman. Question about him in my and. He called her. King King Tit. She's no more and I loved her very much. Now that we've talked about her so respectfully. Gilbert. All. I love you very much Gobert. Very, very much. Frank. I. Would say I, tolerate you. rickles would say Matt rigorous would say Matt not so much. And dare dare. I truly love you're very lucky man Gobert. You've really outdone yourself. Please don't touch her and. And you know you'll. You'll make everybody. Happy. Having more kids. All. Do Hope Sandoval will come. I. Hope Santa comes in my ass all. Ask. was. Just. Math. Fill no reasoning. All started. Humanitas prize skill. Definitely going to be the your this is going to submit one. This is a good one. But this one for the peabody. For the Peon me is. Four. Spur you're in consideration to listen to the shit give our best to Michael O. to Bob I will and Gobert. I hope you get what you want for Christmas. What would that be be? Santa's what. I would like I. I don't WanNA, keep saying it over and over and over. Shows, includes that normally not me? You ruined my reputation that others. I would like Santa shop his cock. Mike Astle and common my ass for Christmas not the other holiday, the other holidays rates. Would you want the else? It'd be like. Holing you're holding something you think. I would like to show up all of the else ach centers has. Their big the hurt. And While Chevy Nam. Appeal. I want said to. Haul all. Does. It sounds like Ed McMahon. Jolly Jolly. While you're shoving elves of as asphalt. Ship. Reindeer. How route got that read knows. He was the last one out. It made a sound there was like. It was like a suction. Out there was when that reindeer came out of Santa's Asshole it was like the day the clown cried. That Analogy Bob. Thank you. Well Happy Christmas. Thank you so. These snobby. Yeah, and we'll save your list. There's I. Hope they're alive by the time this is released. This was like a Perry Como Christmas special. Really it was like match very much. Being gross be by the fireplace. Grow his children into. I hear he was a Good Dad Oh God. I don't know if that's true every. I don't think that's true. I think there's just like now so much tabloid stuff I think shadow know someone has. was talking to Buddy Hackett. About, being cross we and Bing crosby say. You WanNa know you are now like being. Pink. Cake because being quietly clicking Gerhard. Without. I think people that do abuse people are because they have a sexual problems. I would think. So they're angry about something maybe they heard this podcast maybe. Hate to. Listen to this and then go beat someone I. Hope Not. All right you've. Heard. I've got. That'd be a good song right now he's done. He's saying his. Just before we leave I, just want to ask one more time to their any other wishes that you would have win. Santa. Comes down your chimney. I like like making Gilbert. Laugh. I'd like best what would be the most dramatic exciting thing Santa could do for you for Christmas. Well, I love dish out. And this mouth 'cause he's got that big beer. Show they would feel like I which fucking midst. But you wouldn't want to touch Mrs Claus you. Just. WanNa. Do it to Santa. Yes. Yes, I am. Self respect. Right okay and. I was GONNA save more of the the ten days of twelve days honecker. I don't know. All the children are snuggled like sugar plums. You don't want that I'm standing in the house. I. I'd like him to lick my sugar plums. You'd like you would like Santa Teabag us. I. Hope. Gill. You might want a disclaimer on the end. This. This podcast is not for everyone and then dot dot dot wait for. One last thing what would be your favorite. Christmas. Most Per You would make the happiest on on. Christmas. I wake up Chris you wake up. Christmas morning and. Santa. It's squatting up my face. Taking our tremendous shit up eight. After eating the thousand Candy Canes. Thousand. What candy. Case. That's that's the one. WHO When he's done is gone on his sleigh yelling merry. Tastes. Lance log of shit comes out. He goes merry Christmas to all. To all the good. So They. tied. Logs. HAPP. Well before we go, we want to thank our sponsor hallmark. Thank. God. What if Santa was constipated, not be able to get your Christmas. You were on vacation with baths and it was Christmas time because some people in show business gone up to the say Kobe over two years from now you're on vacation you're just a to you and a beautiful romantic spot and Santa Shows What would be your Christmas wish at that moment on your beautiful Christmas vacation. Well, I I'd say Sate Nick, would you like to take some laxatives dot? then. Them hold it in actual. Possible. Showing. Asset. Gilbert. Does. Something explosive that happens. It would come blasting out. That's not the reindeer all it's his propulsion. Diarrhea and Shit. What's So all the houses are covered as he flies off into the night. Somebody's gotTa edit all this together. I don't think editing required people. A couple of pounds shit. I, Love You Gilbert and thank you Franken. Thank you Darren. Thank you. It was a pleasure being part of your spectacular soup. About guys you? Got To. Say that good nights and then if you could do an idea for us. Ok. Well, I'm Gilbert Godfrey Been Gilbert Godfrey JR amazing colossal. With my co hosts Frank Santo. Padre we been talking. Man whose jerks off incentive. Beard. Scott. Different doing different. The evolve Senate. Nineteen. Ninety. Go ahead and come on. It's Christmas in in in July and August. One more. Oak. And then Bob. Do. Nice. Promo for us. Oh, it's going to be is. We've been. Fucking we've, been talking about jagged. Thank you Bob Thank you my God we're all going to prison. That's all. Around on this show. Show. Sean. Red. Cap On his head. Of Cast. Pretty Sad. Speed. This big. Sounds like. Claw. Grow. Careful site. Rain. Fast. Survey. Run. surprised. Donald. Shown by. Da.

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