THE PUZZLE CALLED LIFE | Warrior Week: Parables From the Pit | EP 068
All right. All right. All right. Welcome to this episode of Woody week parables from the pit my guess, Blake's lawn. Blake will come to the show, bro. Thanks, man. Thanks for having me were you. We sixteen and were you week forty eight six sixteen five six shit forty forty worry? Agreed not thirty weeks apart. Crazy in between massive changes there. And then came back in a cyst at forty eight. Oh you did. Okay. So I knew there was something went for you. Yes. So all right. So, yeah. Since one but sixteen and then came back to thirty six sit down relax, and we're about to we're about to get into very interesting show. That didn't know how lost I in. While you're. And we are back where week sixteen men are. Let's go back to. Let's go back to that. First time we picked up the phone and you contacted warriors. They listen broad. I gotta come here. What God you attention Blake, and more importantly, why man? So I'll never forget the, the whole kind of breakdown of how it happened as era hope I'd seen him kind of transformed before that. And I knew something was different. I couldn't tell what it was in. Ironically, gear it actually showed up and people, you may know in my Facebook way, this twenty fifteen and I was like, all right. I just I saw some stuff at friend back in any accepted. I think he didn't have thirty thousand Facebook followers or whatever. But then all of a sudden it was like the next day assault. The video and he shared the video, and I was like holy shit. This is this is what I've been looking for an ad. That's always in a blaze were on the outside. Everything looked amazing, right? Business looked great. Making tons and tons of money ended just had nothing just did the Forbes thirty on thirty at that put on the inside though, hours ours. It's fucked up. I was miserable. But the I was thinking about even today when I came back in those actually Laguna today is kind of like emotional looking back out while was right there at the old like age Q, and I walk bother just to, like, feel it, and I was miserable on the inside I'd so much pain. But I did not even really know what the problem was. I just really resonated with the video really resonated with what GARRETT'S message was at that's on and looking back. I was like almost emotional today, just even walking back through their kind of thinking about that. And it's crazy. Because if we roll back, it was generally, it was January two thousand fifteen that's where where you worry week was, what January two dozen fifteen belief fifteen or sixteen kidding, remember, now, it may have been over fifteen in January sixteen right? It's like yeah. It was. It was fifteen. Yeah. January fifteen sixteen and then 'cause yeah and so. How old were you then so thirty six now was that thirty three thirty three? So I, I remember specifically. You. You were thirty successful in business. You are in a relationship at that time which you seem to be happy and successful in at that time, literally there was like, yeah, you had, you know you had ten fifteen pounds here and there. But it wasn't like crazy and spiritual, you Warren that disconnected. So, like, literally, it was like okay like on the outside. Nothing looked wrong at all. And yet you talk about on the inside and it wasn't until what do we forty six that we even looked on the inside because sixteen was more of empowering. Experience forty six more more more of an indepth finding the inside. But even after like, and we'll get to that. And even after looking at forty six like there, there was nothing fundamentally wrong with, like, would you lie for that? There was nothing wrong with the past, you know, great parents growing up. Awesome environment. There was no trauma drama in the past that you could link yourself assay while, you know, my life deviated, because of that, right? Which brings us back to sixteen unlike like now, there were sitting back and like interesting enough looking back both you and I much wiser at the Blake that came into sixteen. What, what was this thing because, because it's interesting that you mentioned what the fuck was this inside thing that was not happy because there's a lot of thirty two year old dudes that are out there that feel exactly how you feel den today. You're wiser much wiser to look back. What would you say that could have been a thought about this a lot in? So I'll never forget. It was like this emptiness this aloneness in this feeling that was fucked up, right? Always thought that I was crazy in. So in the way people always try to put me in this box out always either be too intense or not intense, or in. I feel like I was literally crazy would I could not ever put words on what that pain was that, that inside banging that, that constant you know, just wound up as a top. And so I would hide it not hide it not hide it, and then what would happen, you know, build up, and guess what? They're not fucking explode on people, and those that I loved, and I really think that, you know, what really resonate with music, you know, GARRETT'S video initially kind of put words into what the pain. I was feeling was it's not just new out fucked up. I didn't know what exactly was wrong as knew something wasn't good. And I knew that there's a lot of things that were just just totally not right at all. And you know, just the pain of business the pain of the pressure. The pain of everything switched. Just got balled up and bottled up in longer. I wince the more people just kind of said some wrong with you work too much. You worked you are you got this? You got that. And so I try to back it down. And then ultimately have the inside just build up in Boyle up until exploited on people out loud, people at work with my family and looking back, Manala just wound up like a giant, you know, fucking top really that just waiting to explode do it. And then guess what? I do that and not feel guilty about it. And I don't know if shame and blame and all this stuff. And so as vicious cycle of pretending Kana that everything was all right. And it really wasn't at all. When you look back at, at that time, what was, what would you say, particularly was missing in your life because you, you, you had you had money. So it was. And that, you know, you had to struggle for money, obviously, you had to work hard and business businesses business. You have to be shot in business. Right. So that took a lot of energy and focus. You had a, you know, you had your girlfriend that you say whatever you had your your, your significant other den, and you like you had status. So what, what the fuck was missing because was was it was it other dudes in your life? That was missing was there. Another was their friends. Like, really guys where you can share some of the stuff that is going on with you. Right. Or was that missing? Would you say so I think for me it was just the, the lack of anyone that ever understood the amount of pain now going through right from from a business perspective, and people just screwing you over and all these things that come with running a business at a high level. I feel like that always just no one understood. Right. And you could try to talk to people that were my friends, and they had they had no clue. Right. They would never. They say they would understand. But ultimately, they would never really truly understand the. Pain on the insect. Right. All the letdowns all the different things that you went through and really kind of the sacrifice ASU made to, to be able to, to grow business like that. So for them was like, hey, man. What are you complaining about you, making money, right? That they to say it in a way to hurt you. But that's what the limitation of understanding was like no one understand, or understood like the hard decisions, the conversations of letting goal someone that has worked for years, and, or hiring new person. And then realizing that fog you paid all this money, and it just didn't win anywhere. And, and so many other decisions that are made daily. Right. Or expectation that a set from clients and returning clients, and, and conversations that are taking place about you. That is not true in the market blaze between clients cases that you have to fuck and feel that you have to put all your energy to defend yourself in a place like, why, why would I fuck and even the fen while compliance is another thing being compliant and, and. Just legal and getting sued and, you know, having someone like just attack you out of nowhere. So all that pain that, that, that comes with owning a business, and also dealing with fucking payroll men, like every two weeks is like, who fuck rights to write that amount of check out right over and over and over and all that think about it. It's an emotional discharge I at one point as a business owner, and you're like, okay this one I'm doing, like, right. There's my purse, I'm doing this. I'm putting food on the table for others. And you know, this is why I'm here, but you can't you, you cannot deny that it's still an outgoing amount out of your Bank account. Right. Which if it's visible to you, it can kind of fuck with you. That's why most business owner kind of handle it to, like payroll department and it becomes like this invisible thing. Because if it's constantly in your face you constantly get triggered and you're gonna fight. Find someone is not doing the work in the company and say mother fucker overnight, a fucking bang. You. He was like that, because of that came from and got a decent childhood nothing like crazy yet. But I, I have been on my own financially since seventeen and so I had to start from zero. And so I think there's a huge fear pressure of his giant wave that, that never feels that goes away to matter how big you grow. And whatever it is that I don't ever want to go back to zero. And so that pressure built up and builds up, then obviously through lawsuits, and legals and all these different things that you deal with I just felt alone in our trying to think like what was the there's two massive big takeaways, I had from sixteen in think, for me the biggest one by far was, I think that I got permission to finally be all of me. Right. The dark side in the light side, and for me, I'll just going back and thinking about that is I used to be ashamed. The dark sat right? Because what would happen is by the time out ever, let it out. It would be such a, a rage, and anger, and that, that I would nuke everybody around me. And so I had this fear and set Bal Bal up and then explode. And so they're not go back to try to be the nice guy that they wanted to fit me in that box. What is horrid to be the good, businessman or anybody? That's a a big player. Whatever you wanna call it while you're trying to it's a hold that back. I'll never forget, you know, two or three evolutions that we went through that really allow me to have all of that. And I had this shoe Jehad like you know what fuck it? I'll be all me to good into bed and from that day on Phil like a my entire life was different just finally having the permission to do. So in allow me to kind of see all that and actually had lunch with a friend recently who was normally for that long. And he's like do I've just seen the biggest change if you ever since that will your thing. And now it's like just so you know, I finally had permission from myself to love myself. Yeah. It because I was shamed of who that person that came out was. But once I was able to give myself permission to harness that power in that person who is the dark where who gets shit done, when things are tough, and you have payroll and you have the legal. I finally did that. And then all the sudden I felt freedom now felt you know, a lot of that for even obviously, I've finally feel like I wasn't crazy, because I did legitimate think like I'm fucked up man. Like, and then all of a sudden, we got around the bunch other guys are also fucked up. Right. And right, right. We're like a brotherhood of the guys who felt like that. And finally, there was something there that could help you understand that pain understand that process in kind of really make sense of all this chaos ahead my life. And so that was kind of one of the biggest house for me as a whole. So sixteen was was definitely. I remember that, that was definitely a shift in sixteen for you and just just, just okay being you. And, and, and you walked into this as a humble student, and you continued with us for a period of time, and I think a year or something right? You were almost inside of the game with us. So I did a we had the. Empire we empire for a while. We kingdom empire for at least a year, I guess it was a year later. And so, so you went on, and I remember like you were weaponized, right? And you were patronize you know, you like you definitely find yourself and, and we like you were doing. You're saying you're always like fan. But then there was there was a spirit of time when you not that active inside of the group about your you always a distance offend. Right. And. Well, what would you back where you con- where you're con-? Yes, initially it was just kind of, like I think there's a change or whatnot. Would it happened in? I just step back for a little while there. But I can feel the energy of not being plugged him. Right. And there was there was something missing in regards to connection. I was in these other like real estate space who had real estate masterminds, or whatever there is nothing that really every kind of helped you, you know, get back to that association that we have here that connection that we have here. And so as we're con- that brought him back and after speaking with you, and I'll may not a new rows, right? Beco-. So, you know. We, we can you being here and even inside of this conversation today, like the Pat that brought you here, sitting on this chair was never fucking coincidence. It was not, because although sixteen everything look good. But deep down inside. There was a lie in your life that you weren't even fucking aware of, and you're rolling with that you were rolling with that. And it was a massive huge lie in your life, that was kinda hijacking. But it is it is strange because it's as if you always knew it, right. You know there was. Some people may call it hesitation. But I think you there was a part of new that knew about that. And that's why that part has always like, kind of commended you too. Take your time. Right. And you tell us what that was as we're talking about that. But it's important to link that because truly, you know, people say what is, what is what do you like warrior? Is this conversation of the truth? Right. Warrior is, it's just a pathway for Mant pick up the fucking mirror and to look at himself every couple of miles. Right. Right. And so although it was massive amount of group, and I was witness to that mass grove in sixteen and massive shift. There was an absolutely transformational shift from the guy that came to worry week sixteen week later and who, who was operating, and who was becoming more, and more. Right. But yet inside of that, even the advice you were getting from from Garrett and all the other guys was to actually go and act upon the one thing that deep down inside you knew, but it wasn't manifested yet. So bring us to clarity on that, because that's the important piece of the puzzle in our wanted to. There's actually choose separate ones in that, where we forty six I didn't even really know I guess, you could kind of word that has buried them, you know, like it was a new someone zehr. There's two things on their forget. When we talk about the pit to there's two big ones in, when we went to the pit, and it was so damn cold and those nights, and we, we had the fire, and we went to that process in, when I close my eyes, I shared this with you since then. But I saw my dad and literally my dad passed away at that point. He's been dead for three years. But there's a whole history there of what happened when my parents got divorced. My dad cheat on my mom. He wasn't showing up as a husband and father and on her the next thing you know, gone within one day, and it, obviously fucked me up a little bit. I had to grow up that was seventeen years old. That's that point when I kind of had to grow up, and he ended up going with the lady yet and affair with who? Who obviously did not like me. And so we kind of had this tumultuous relationship of trying to connect with my dad for years. And I went there and keep trying and she will go like slammed doors and make this big scenes. I'll never forget the girl house Dayton. At tom. She said, why do you keep doing this and said, I just said, I just don't want to regret not trying one day, well shortly, and this is years before warrior, she, she created this argument between us, and basically quit speaking, and then all of a sudden, I think two years later got a call. The say, hey, you're dead has got cancer. He's about to, to pass away and so long story short. There is period of like this void. I think I just blocked it all out, emotionally. Well, when visit him in a, you helped them out, you know, he need some, some help on Anchalee did some things, and I thought we'd reconnected beforehand he basically had, like two months, and the, the lady must step onto that Tom created another huge issue, woodland speak to us. He had the he pass away shortly. After would it have a funeral. We had no clothes. No, nothing. She basically just took his ashes and disappear. And so I had this fucked up thing inside of me this, abandonment, this thing that, that I didn't even realize I was curious until we got to the pit and I, I don't know where it was. I hadn't thought about it before. But when we I closed my eyes and that process, you know, evolution so my dad's face look back and it was the craziest thing. And that was something I think that was creating law disconnection anger, and frustration for me for years that you knew outs curing, nearer Z's things that, that from a trust pointed people because that was the person who I looked up to the most that clearly debated me at that point my life, which obviously looking back with a huge blessed because that forced me to level up as a man, and all these things, but I had no idea that that was even still an issue until we went to that process with you. And that was the first part, I think a lot of he told myself was that I was passed all that shit, and that it was really a blessing and all that, that was the story I told myself wasn't to truly investigate the truth. That are real. Is how much that was holding back on the inside. And so from that day on, I filled a huge freedom of that, that they're allowed me to kind of connect deeper in feel like Alice. You know, wanted to be a father, even deeper from from a mainstay point. Yes. And so that was the first part. So it was obviously very powerful for, you know, the whole huge forty six was just a much deeper level. I even know a had a of connection and just fulfilment because I was able to get all that shit off my shoulder. I didn't even know was it was kind of like it hard in my heart, because I went through all that shit as a kid, and it was able to told me back from just that's all I did was Dryden, right, grinded, because I was really kind of masking that fear of abandonment, all these things I went through and sell it the huge Hoffman, the second one to go and go to the I guess. Sure. Because I'm going to link them together. Yet in the second one was guess very similar. Right. Which you kinda helped me come across in the evolution there in. And that was obviously to do with, with my, my gauge meant that I had that was a field engagement. And you know. Obviously, I think the story would relish running that house over that knows okay? In old timidly wasn't, and that was kind of the big that you helped me through layer after layer of working with me. And thank you challenge me and colliding with me. And I, I didn't even know that was it. I had to go back like six times a figure out what that you made me go back and redoing, go back and redo it. And had this thing that ultimate was over what happened in and it wasn't. So we went to that process that I, I realized actually wasn't right that same feeling of abandonment in the fear of connection. All these things in, I'll never forget, I don't know much. We hear about that. But yes, I mean the, the, the, the pressure was taken off me. Once we went there process, and wrote that down on a piece of paper and burn that she was like, the one of the most liberating things I've ever done March our life. So the, the. I'm link this together for you to see that. Like, like dude, you you've been the architect of all of this. Right. So at seventeen your dad leaves the scene. Right. And he leaves the scene under the influence of another woman right? And so the story is like, okay fuck you Joe San well, whatever, okay? I'm gonna go grind on you built. And so there's once once thought a story that gets built Ave was a blessing he left because, you know, it's the positive way of thinking, I built myself, I build this motherfucker, right? Great. Okay. Then on the other side, this is the undercurrent story, undercurrent story is there was a female that took my dad away from me. Right. That's another the undercurrent of the stories that there's female energy that came in stole, my dad away from you get inside of a relationship and end that relationship that you were beginning, you thought that this was just like everything is fine. Everything is okay. And then there was a lot of pressure on you and like why you're not marrying this woman. Why not getting engaged with this woman? The underlying current story was actually, preventing you to do that, which is like, don't trust this fucking female based on the other female that did this, right? So this is the under under at the end of it, when you think about it, and this exactly it's the fucking truth. That was actually, preventing you from making any any further bigger engagement, or commitment, right? The truth was that it was this bitch, that took away your debt. We can put the fingers and say she did it or he did it or it's not a blame thing. It's the fact the fact is that your dad was heavily under the influence of this woman? Now, we can say we'll fuck. It was your dad because at the end of it his responsible I get it. But did he have any other guidance that dad, did you have any other perspective appointed view that that was? He shut down to everything else. He didn't seek for help man. No, you know what I mean? So he stepped into a situation and just like most powerful men in history Caesar. And you know. Under the influence of feminine charm. Right. Like dude. It's, it's, it's a massive influential power right right to the point that you're actually going to stop talking to your kids how to present. So, so he became the complete victim of that story, right? I can't put the finger at your dad, because that's precisely the fucking problem with trying to solve today, which are men are fucking controlled and they're not weaponized hundred percent. And that's what happened. Right. I mean think about it. If your dad was weaponized with some perspective. Some way of thinking he could have reframed a story one hundred percent. That's why I must have played in my head a million times of having the tools that I had today or you know, like man. What if he just fuck it had something like this in that ripple effect that it has in my life? No one has had in my life, and everyone else from mom to it's anything else. And so I looked back at him and he was a week, right? Us week at that point in life. And you know, in your nail it because he had nothing like that there was none of the, the, the processes and tools. And nobody nobody was alone. Yes. Because if there would be at least one guy that I would just have a walk and talk with him. And say did you fucking went to war for your marriage, right? No. You're in this. You're about to leave your wife and your children. Like, are you going to abandon them without even going to that? There was no awakening that was brought to him at all. No one to Colli with him to be willing. Dude, you are fucking up right now in the least Nolan any power. And there's a lot of that you and I cannot blame him. No. And that's that's, that's what's so difficult for somebody else right now listening to this that has been betrayed by their dad, and then like you fuck that fuck that motherfucker did it. And he, he abandoned me, but the point is have you taught about how he felt den? What tools that he had, who was he connected to that guy was fucking alone hundred percent in he had no in afterwards. You know what I collided with him at that point is angry teenager in these things happen. I think that create this energy, where he wasn't able to fully come back and just shame and killed executive, if your dad would be on the podcast right now, it would be me, you and your dad here. And we saw our Brown, like, okay we figured out we're not calling you out. But dude, I know you were fucking loan. What was her dad's name John, John? Here's the fact, I know you were fucking alone and your son, you'll be looking in the eyes. So data, I know you were alone. So why don't you just fucking just wanted you just drop the ball man and just drop the gloves and just share what was holding you back. I can guarantee you. He will list down a number of things that he was guilty of, and he filled the shame of one hundred percent. I mean, there's this in looking back, and obviously having these tools to analyze it, and you could just see where he was aided in. Just for the went back even from from that era or time that it happened. You could just kinda see feel and then all of a sudden you start seeing the pieces come together like hoesch it, this is kind of what was going on there before. And after he was exposed for that. And looking back there's a million different things that should have been done. If you just had the tools that we have the things that we have is crazy to even think about because relook at it. And you know, this, there's no one in this world that knows by you, right? There was an unspoken communication when you went to see him. Yes. And with everything that you're trained and everything that you've done for yourself, not for anybody else. How you weaponize, a sharpen your sensors when you were in his presence could you could you not feel that an unspoken communication of guilt, and shame that he was carrying, oh, I could see even back then almost afterwards. I mean you could just feel it. See it just constant guilt. And I haven't had a conversation look man. Now it's what my dad back. And so. Hold that tots. Now, I'm gonna bring you all the way to forty eight. Right. Because I forty eight you played a different role. I'm forty eight. You came in as part of our certified trainers, and you played the role of training and you went inside of the game observing, what is happening to a man inside of this process, specifically into the pit and coming out of it, and the entire fuck enduring. Right this, this week that he talked about this where week like literally which is one week of our life, given to this fucking process that no one on the world will understand eight, you've been participant in it, or you have contribute to it somehow. Right. Right. And hey, listen, if you're listening on the other side of the podcast, and you're listening to this like these are the parables from fucking warrior week. It's a week that, that men go inside of a place and inside of that place is elated. There are parables and truth. That's gonna come out of it. And we're telling those stories these are stories of the men. The book is out. The book is going to be out next week, okay? Every man leader that talks about all the parables, right? And all these podcasts are talking. About that parallel, so forty-eight you come in as a trainer and inside that game. Now, you can you actually witness the guilt, and shame that adult men were were carrying just like your dad on the other side. Yes. The difference is only time the difference is only twenty years ago. Your dad nineteen years ago. Specific new right? Yes. Nineteen years ago at seventeen nineteen years ago, the guy that you guys that you saw forty-eight into fucking pit were Representative of your dad right hundred percents. Welcome on, I'm carrying his shield guilt, and shame like, but Dan, that were going through a process to identify themselves, and you can see the similarity in a way there's all that guilt, and shame. And actually, at that time as Irving, I had a huge moment, connecting all this, and this is something you've seen of, of how much of everyone's issues in guilt, and shame, even came from their fathers, correct. And their fathers who is like a huge Han even ask. Jesse? That was really. Hey, how many of this is everybody's fathers? And also at mind that thing, and it was such a huge wave of just constant pain, creating more pain pain, creating more train was was it at your Willie because if it was fucking freaky was that at your were you week? When guy, one guy quit, that was the one that I assisted with. So the guy walked away from the whatever the garbage garbage county area. Yes. Okay. You won't tell you what the fuck happened there. You want, you want to tell you exactly what he said. Yes. This is fucked up that it's not fucked. It's fucking miracle that we're talking about this. He, he came to me, he wanted he wanted to quit, and he wanted to quit, and he came to me, and he said the following he was right after the experience of the pit right? He came to me, and he said, hey, man, you know, gear J wide is a fucking frog. The bla-bla-bla seven years ago, I was in class. I know exactly what his teaching. I said, bro. Do see Garrett here tonight. This is has nothing to do with Gary tonight. Right. Right. So. And then he went to the flag say, you don't want men like I have I have no fucking daddy issue. I've, I've spent hundreds of thousands of dollars dealing when my daddy daddy issues, but blah, blah, blah, I said, listen, bro. Like, hey, we're going to give you money back. We'll give you some hot soup tonight, we're going to transport you back in, in, like so anyway, it was a it was a clean cut out meaning that we give him his money back. And we brought them back. He was cool. He just didn't want to continue forward. But it's crazy why he didn't want to continue forward. He didn't want to dress that he don't want to address that one thing which you brought in this conversation is crazy that you were to witness right to see that to see that, that guy in that ultimately could have freedom freedom from from that. And just crazy to see anybody experiencing like this is I mean, it's been so much weight off my shoulders want to see the connection into just fucking dress it. Right. Because he carries it right. It triggered a fuck out of him because he's carrying it. He thinks that he's been hundred. Dollars solving that obviously, it wasn't fucking solve if it triggered a fuck out of it. I remember seeing feeling energy of him. And it was it was. Massively defensive, it was, you know. I could see him feel it. I was obviously right there watching the whole thing go down. And you could see obviously, it's an intense time that everyone goes through. But may, it's so crazy. You're right. So see that connection that too. And it was when I was at that for one, what assisting, it was crazy to have the connection because I'll tell you, when I close my eyes at that night in the pit the last thing I expected to see what's my dad's face. Yeah. I mean, I got chills right now even just just talking about it because it was just the process that finally boiled up and expose. What was truly hold me back in so many years of my life, specifically allowing me to love at a deeper level to connect with someone that, that really truly was trying to connect deeper with me. Yeah so inside of that. Right. We got this undercurrent story and it's actually shoot. Hey, this female energy came in and took my dad away. Right. Right. So now you get an inside of a relationship, what appears to be successful beautiful woman, you know, very popular, whatever like on. The outside looks like a perfect fucking couple. Right. Right. And there is some and then there's the pressure of committing. There was a pressure and you're not understanding where this pressure coming in, because he's not coming in naturally, it there seems to be, of course. Now we can look at it now. But then you were just confused. This seems to be some underlying agenda. Read you did not understand right? Walk into this few years, later out, or two years later into it, even what the pressure that was put on you inside of warriors say, hey, man, if you're committed you gotta commit right? There was an undercurrent. It was a truth that was always pulling you aside said, bro. You know, your own truth and inside of that, obviously, you didn't know that this was it. But this happening two years, you've found out that fuck. This woman has been just like fucking lying to you. And then just abandoning your trust shooting me for for years for years, and then day you were somehow fucked up because like fuck, I've just been betrayed it. But on the other side, somehow proud that you didn't go all in on that because it was one thing that was holding you the right. And there is. I think poor that truth was, and obviously, there's a lot of work that I had to do with my relationship in that process. And look back before warrior man, I was I wasn't asshole. Right. I was I didn't know I wasn't asking about thought just because that produced a lot, you know, obviously, she should just respect me. Right. If we all do that, that story. But the reality was, I had a lot of investing to fix invest in the reality. I was all on trying to fix it. But she has specific caveat of, you know what she had to have or this or that. And I went all in on eventually pressure. You know, went in engaging and months later is exposed that she'd been cheating the entire way before one time. But if in looking back year cure, it gave me freedom from that. He said, here's the deal because there are some things that she was going to change. Basically, had a certain had to be engaged for sheer changing. Hey, call her bluff on that. Right. And so did that all in guy engaging? So that allowed me to be able to, to away move on. At least I thought it was move on, at that time to, to, to basically because I didn't I did go all in. With engage in exposed truly what was underlined that current you're talking about. But if I wouldn't have gone all in finally, and done that it probably wouldn't have expo in our just, you know how this guilt and shame for for not doing that. But there was something inside. And I was not that soon with the voice back, then I was trying to learn and get deeper. And so there's just something that wasn't. Right. It wasn't. Right. I couldn't prove it is, like, well fuck it I'm all in. And since then, you know, just at Seoul's of having warrior, sensitive have been massively different in how just look on any relationship. So, so for years, you operated with this background at. If female energy and stole my dad away from abandoning. So it so you linked female energy to abandonment, and you operate it from a place of not wanting to be abandoned ever. Right. And that's the operating system inside of that. You know, this relationship came in and to your own journey of warrior, and everything that you've become you realize that fuck. Okay. Well, the one story, the one story that, that I had with me. All these years, actually protected me in this process, but today, everything's exposed the girl is exposed the stories exposed, my relationship with that. So all of it came together, and it freed you from the story where you being inside of your relationship right now, and engage with, with, with with your fiance right now. That is purely, like, all of you, right. Story free. Right in right now. Right. Oh, yes. So that wants because once once you weren't able to get the current story, right? Then the Blake that, that is in that relationship is a story free fucking Blake. Yes in the crazy shit is, so had this thing where wanted love deeper, right? Yeah. Figure out why could not look deeper. And I knew that was what needs to have an obviously, having someone who is truly amazing. That was loving deeper. I can feel the wall of me and like I couldn't go, and I'm like, what the fuck man I, I should be going deeper without can't. But it wasn't till that was uncovered in, in forty six that kind of realize holy shit. And there was two of them. Right. And so you helped obviously did the process. I mean it's amazing process whereas only me explain a process, you go through your through the gifts that, that you finally tuned in her so good at allow me to get there. And I'm thankful for that even for you colliding with meat to, to help me expose that to must self as change everything. Even just. What life than anything general? Because looking back at what happens today from a capacity standpoint, a look back at like all the things that go through, you know, as a businessman as anything in general that man, I couldn't imagine going through life, without have needs tools, and these things that we've learned through through the process of warrior. Yeah. And it was beautiful to witness how you were able to let go of stories that have kept you captive from going, all fucking in with all of you week, sixteen you figure out. It's okay to be all of you. You got that permission where you week forty six you'll learn to go all in with all of you. Right. And inside of that, one of the places that you need it to go all fucking in with all fucking you all of your part that can love right, right? The all of all of all of you all in of all of all in the ability to love to a point where there is no limit or restriction or reservation, the keyword is reservation right? Because if, if you're. Listening to this and inside of your relationship, you have the slight level of resistance or reservation to consume someone your life, just in case to not go all in blindly inside of your relationship, then there's a under. Current story that is holding you captive not to go all in, because today there's no fucking reservation of giving love right? You're a channel it goes through you and he goes to the other person. Right. I mean in the other part of that, too, is like in all parts of life from next standpoint and looking back at so having some of that anger fear. Whatever you call that holds back connection was all kind of from employees from people that are know teams who everything because, now having that weight off feels up capacity and space inside me even to feel in love and connecting Alvis you can see those things that people true. And so is so crazy to think about not just this and something else thinking about earlier before coming in is I was teaching with our organization else talked about, and we teach obviously all these things in the rental, we could go on for hours about the ripple effect of just how this is impacting the people in my organization, but we talked about, you know, once you come and go through Warwick in that process is literally. Literally, like getting out of the fish bowl come in the air, and you just look in the fishbowl, watch everyone else, the pain in the things you like men, you can just see it, and feel it just because you've gone through that process and free yourself from these stories in this bullshit in the shaming guilt. That's held you for so long, and so many areas. And we talk about that, and we've gone through that even in my organization, but looking back, I see it now I was just talking about an event and San Diego last week. And I could see and feel and people immediately just a two minute conversation. And so it's not until you go through a process like warrior week that you even can even I guess comprehend the feelings and the things that, that you're able to let go so you can finally see against some clarity, amongst the chaos that we will have in life when when you look at this big puzzle called life. And when you, you look yours at least from the perspective of everything that happened from that pivoting point, when, you know, your dad kind of left and to the point of the relationship where you're. To our everything needed to happen. All these pieces of the puzzle needed to happen in the person that needed to put the fucking puzzle. Together was you like it wasn't some fucking audio from Tony Robbins, or from anybody else. Any motivational? None of those things would have done it for you maybe would have guide you conversations of that would guide you maybe be was years of listening to Tony Robbins that even had you even open to listen to worry. I guess that was my case because right? If I would've Don the twenty Robin event in San Jose that happened like where we walked on the fire. I wanna to be even open to these kind of conversation, 'cause I was the kind of guy that was like listen man like my relationships with my relationship. Like I know how it's my wife's nobody's fucking business. So no one is going to advise me on my wife know what is going to advise me. Right. Like nolan. I wouldn't take. No one's fucking advice. Right. Because I'm supposed to be the man. I'm supposed to figure this out so everybody else is a fucking pussy that needs help. It's so true. And there's a fine line on that, where I didn't really look at it. The perspective of like maybe opened me up to that because. But that's so true. Because look back hundreds of hundreds of books in coach after coach and house in all these hollow. Mash is, Dan Kennedy twenty Robbins? I did all the Tony Robbins business mastery. Although stuff, nothing all those together could not touch the transformation that I had through warrior we either one because I worry week you literally took the last piece of the puzzle, I want you visualize this piece of puzzle being fool metal, right? Right. And it's burning and fucking fire and lava, and you had the balls to pick it up knowing it's going to hurt you hand pick it up put it in the puzzle. Let it cool down. And as equals down on, on Friday you're like holy fuck. I can see the full picture a hundred percent. I mean in again, that's something you could even see before much less have the balls to pick up and then actually deal with it. So you put the puzzle right all came clear, and, and you made a commitment in what was the commitment. There's, there's one more. Okay. There's one more thing I think that may help some people out there that, that was massively impactful for me just was a process of Atarot we talked about. Yeah. Yeah, I want to talk about that, man. Was shared ad because just last week, I met a guy and I referred like I referred your story to him. I'm the guy that was on that. And I said, I just told them your story, so. Yeah, it's important because there's a lot of guys on it. And this is something that I had struggle with, but as a big producer in business, you know, I prescribe Adderall through Dr almost don't even know, males early twenties in dollars taken one thirty day right now, obviously that starts to wear off to. Well, so then all of a sudden two-thirty thirty today, and he prescribed me, eventually have me up to three thirty per day, which is ninety milligrams of Admiral which is like, you know, I didn't really know what the hell it was ultimately like methamphetamine, obviously, you know, way from I mean similar family. Right. So I relied on over and over and over, and I knew and there's a process, and it's Hamilton through where I would take all those in our just basically get the day. I couldn't sleep. So then guess what I would do. I drink six to ten to twelve beers at night just to sleep. Just to wake up and do it again. And wake up and do it again. And I knew that and your body never recovers men. That's why that's why you were fucking fatigue. That's what I did my blood test afterwards after forty six you know, in that regard, I basically made a commitment on that mountain. We made a commitment to stop and haven't had touched it since and. It chain Montero. How many years, you, you took that at least fifteen I mean like it's everyday kind of thing. Oh, yeah. If you don't take it. What happens like what would happen? Would you be name badge? Cyril moods hired sluggish. I wouldn't take it on the weekends before, but I wouldn't do shit. I'll just laid around right? Because I mean I try to think, but from a production standpoint, I will just try catch my breath for the next Monday. So when, when you take it, it, actually makes you focus on doing shit. Yeah. Laser focus. I mean it's very, very tense. But what what happened was? Is it burned out, Madras and okay? Okay so, so I know why because you're adrenaline glands and like, apparently, apparently you don't need some shed you getting somewhere else. So we're gonna we're gonna shut down the fucking business one hundred percent. And so after after where we got I was committed to a man like I don't give you know, because there is not right before where week, I couldn't sleep, my heart was exploded, in my chest, and it's going over, and I prayed to God in this, how powerful this stuff is our prayed to God that, that if I could live through tonight. I would it wouldn't take Audie more and. And I did. And then I didn't take it for like a week. And then I was well, just try just one little bit this before, like that'd be warrior or January February, and then my worry we present March, and at that point on my fucking dumb, but even to break through the night and do that. And then take the shit again to showed how powerful it was from an you know, I'll say diction standpoints I didn't if I wasn't working didn't really take you. But obviously is addicted to just trying to win at work. But correct. Either way at that point after we said, I'm done cold circuit, boom, and having touched sins and that's the one year and six hundred three months. So the reality is, again, my blow work done, and Modrinic were shot. But thankfully, you have enough time that I went with holistic doctor we started doing, and guess what? Now, the drills are coming back naturally through adapted jeans, and there's much better ways out there. But I would not have had the pressure in the process in the lead up to where you're weak. And obviously we even talk about that. The, the entire thirty day lead up to warrior week is what kind of helped me devotion Saudis over and over and over this has got to be the time to stop. Thomas and other proof that, again you did this when you choose to know when you choose to seek you're the one that went to see the doctor is wasn't the doctor that came to you. And but you went with a different attitude, you win wet. Okay. Let me understand how this thing works. Right. Okay. Apparently might glands told me to fuck off because they had my body had another supplier for for me looking back. I mean it's amazing. I'm even still alive. When I tell people took and people here, even people that take a holy shit. Ninety milligrams a day. And that's just what my doctor prescribed over time. But like he must have been a fucking idiot, Doug. I mean I, I think he just did whatever you said. And he would just write it more. You know. And so it's one of the things I go, some he just asked me about real estate, and I'd tell them about real estate write the prescription. And so the reality is, like, I was literally killing myself, and it wasn't for warrior. I mean, and here's a crazy thing about it. I don't want to get to deepen. But in the lead up, it's so funny, I want to, to sixteen I was back through, like we're con stuff. I think when I did forty six hours doing. Certify trainers vice pretty good, you know. And I think the first day we like what's going on in the videos, like nothing's wrong, then Sam just laid into my ass thankfully over and over, and I was like, what the hell nothing's wrong with me? And you is crazy. I had bullshit of myself so much that I didn't think I really had a problem except this one little thing that was hidden away, which was looking at it all this crazy, man. And if you would not have collided with me, both in the front end both during that lead. And even getting so pissed at me made me grow a beard. You'll a good sent me a long time. So it's even girl like a little patch. But the reality is a was it until you kind of helped me collide with me to expose that I even realized it was their actual problem because I was so balled into my own bullshit about what it was right. And that's me think I live by this code. But ultimately, it's allocating credits to say my life term, because I'm not a twenty year old chicken anymore. The reality is, you can't sustain that type of self when I went to the doctor afterwards, he's like, dude, your blood. And so we've been on a process for the year and a half to do, so when it change my mind, so I was so anyone out there, there's so many things that you may not even know that you have struggle with Atarot or things like that, man that should we'll kill you. Eventually, I would go to this is not previous story, then I went to two I got a cold went to the doctor I hadn't even taken post war week forty six I'm sorry. Previous before forty six I was still taking out a role. They took my blood pressure, and they rushed me into the back to EKG because they thought that, that something was wrong. While I'm like, oh, no, it's always this, and it was because of all of that raw took all the time consistently literally. I mean, I'll just kind of a welcome Tom on. And I had no idea man. So there's so many things that if there's fifteen million books, and it would never have changed that outcome all the beauty. This man is the falling like sitting here is one thing. Your hundred percents are is that you're on your you are your own fucking supplier, one hundred percent of knowledge and of love of everything out there. Like truly you sit here today and you are. Person that is one hundred percent your own fucking supplier, right? Disorders of love source of your fate, the source of your knowledge in business knowledge for you not like you are hundred percent right? Your own fucking supplier, and everything. Yeah. And you're so funny, just as we're thinking just talking about this, like a being in this process for so long. I went to the forty six while you're we thinking I was like fuck. I'm pretty good, right? And, you know, and three mass, and that's just three of the major ones we're talking about right now massive massive breakthroughs. That were holding me back in life that I didn't even know us deal. But it's not something that I feel you can never do on your own, right? You need someone like you or someone that process and you need. There's nothing that I've ever experienced anything about walked through the coals at Tony Robbins. You all that stuff, nothing will compare to the actual environment and the energy the frame, and the pressure on, you know, what goes on that process. And putting you know putting yourself mentally in a place like. Heuer week that makes you deal with those things in the pit and ultimately things that you don't even know you still have in the pit the truth of it is know worry week has always been you put a week of your life. We'll fucking match it right hundred percent because that's truly what worry week is we match. It would love energy. Unlike you put a week of light your life into it wolf fuck and match week of our lives. Right. Right. And to get her to get her you, you become your own fucking supplier hundred percent in a bunch of different ways in every single area to find literally life-changing pivots, life-changing moves that allow you to and it depends on, you know, this is the second time which I wanted to think all this just to get the certification. I don't I don't need to go. Another one really fuck it change my mind. And when you look at when you look at the massive amount of love that you supply to yourself in, like the next step is to supply some, some and other person all that love. Right. Once you fill yourself with all of it. Right. Right. The natural processes to to, you know, put it in someone else. Right. Right. And so. Talk about talk about your relationship post worry we with your current fiance, and what happened there. So the, the reality of I mean, obviously sheared some of those things in that aspect of what happened, but obviously feel a deeper level of love for me in that regard. But, I mean, just in, here's obviously their slave ship. Came post understanding warrior initial tools and the process. I mean we talk every single day about how thankful we are in regards to what the tools that we have our versus friends out there. Sure, she's almost kind of where she's out the fishbowl to you kind of watch and see. And you know it's funny, we'll be like sought some better. Sought some better friends, you know someone's got this going on. They got that going on. And I'm like, oh, actually this is going on this happening. And he's probably doing this, and you may be actually, you know cheating. So and so, and she's like, oh, there's no way as possible. And then ultimately two weeks later, you ain't going to believe what let me guess exactly what I told you what happens. He's like, yes, a crazy, because ultimately once you're outside that fishbowl from the warrior, tool set of the warrior aspects. I mean that's something that. Has been very, very different. I guess awesome. So you made a commitment a week. What was that commitment virtual on to your love life? In regards to get married. Yeah. Commitment. Yes. So is that happening on it will be it? You got a date. Yes. Not not, not from that standpoint. We'll have the date soon though. Okay. You have date soon. Yes. But it's happening. Yes. It didn't have any time for him that you wish want him to happen. Yes. But there's some other things that, that I he'll deal with the legal issue came back, and there's a few things that happened that, that deal with, but hands down the best place I've ever been from lifestyle almost were felt like even being here just fill like, like. Almost surreal from from a life standpoint. I mean, even to have told you add spent three days here, just just like taking life in before this this, this next. If it we're having here, obviously, for warrior, the reality is made a happy place. Oh, one more commitment. I made at where we can just real quick that change all on simple thing. And we're talking about that. So you made a commitment the data's coming soon. Yes. Okay. And you also made another commitment inside of that to me. Yes that we haven't you're invited. We're having the Buffy, right? The slider book Noman of what time. Oh, midnight, but fucking me tonight Fain buff AB midnight briefly that is happening. Yes. I mean just. And just talk about Arbor sent it is the reality to talk to them. Why the midnight face so important for I say, no, but why is it over go to winning music is awesome? Everybody survey parties and has all these things and obviously at the end. There's just this wind down. Right. And everybody's been drinking and no one has the midnight buffet. Right. Sam. Hundred percent wants to have with that. And so that's something that's feeds your soul man reserve. I literally. And so that's a commitment that, that makes him as well beautiful. We're going to talk about the second thing I've already weakening. So there's just a small little shifts in me. So obviously workaholic not prior to warrior. I created space, and there was this other small small commitment that, my, my people helping their Colin head. And I pretend she I've been working till nine o'clock at night, eight o'clock at night. And one of the treatments I made on that same mountain. I was like you know what fuck this. I'm beat a home every day by six o'clock nine so simple. Right. This is so simple. And in this is years after, you know, I don't have the phones after work, but I'll, I'll creep into seven creeper date has had this going on that going on. So I made a commitment for the entire year that was supposed to be last year. Twenty eighteen right, that I would be home at six and Alice kind of scared about that. Yeah. Figure wheels because I was that leader that lead to the end ten o'clock and crazy did. And so what happened? I've started doing that. And to this day. Every day. It says Clark guests. Wow. Guess what happened or company has grown? Yeah. It's crazy. Right from from revenue standpoint from employee standpoint from a net income standpoint from everything standpoint because the warrior week forced me to make commitments such a simple commitment that changed mean everyday. I'm home by six o'clock. I mean it's the craziest thing from a connection standpoint. Yes. From from anything. And so that's something that like small little things that ultimately, it's amazing. You invest you invest a lot of fucking time your business, but you match it at home. I mean how can you match it? I home if you come home and nine you'd like fucked already, you know, I'd make these just us right with just this one time, just this time in old, smidgely Republicans. And there was this also creates is a rhythm in a certainty, and these things every night, this thing to together or go eat or go on the doctor time boardwalk and all the looking back like I wasted so much fucking Tom tattoo store that had to be there for that certain town, when ole timidly, apologised, Leadbetter, just get more clear and set that clear. Line in the sand. I mean looking back at just as one year those hours in connection with creating the happiness are pretty just from one fuck and commitment on the mail. Beautiful. And so I mean I I'm just on great thirty six your appreciate admit don't. Every time I have to appreciate that, because, you know, that comes deep down inside from my heart just witnessing the changes in you. And I never forget you. You spoke at warrior con when you took the Mike and you had you're on a fucking role, bro. Right. And I fuck I gotta find that footage. And I will I will just let me what cardio one. Was it or too? Well, anyway, you tell me later, I have to find footage, but you took the Mike you shared, and you were on a fucking roll, man. And I think I came to you and they told you how much certainty I signed that. Yes. And how proud of the flow, I was. Yes, as that flow, fucking captured everyone the conversation went like five six minutes. But everyone like you collapse. It time in that conversation man. Oh, it was. It was it was just a match away to obviously be able to share back. Some of the things I've learned through through you all geared, you know, you everybody, here's changed my life. I mean. Unrecognizable, but even it's yours some of those tools and business, and how the core four has changed power, my life in regards to certainty and business. And I think that was one topic was just having certainty in business in all that was was tools from warrior, and I mean, like I said, just the things that have happened since then, and problems in issues, things that used to stress me out, so much with think was the end of the world. Now a cigar. Okay. Here we go. Beautiful. Final word as we put this together if there's a guy that was a Blake Sloan in two thousand fifteen prior to you coming to you. I worry if there's a guy like that right now that you, you know, better than me that is sitting on the other side, and is somehow listening to this, or maybe this was forwarded to him by one of the people that he's actually listening right now is like fuck, you know, I've got a forward this to this guy because I pink this guy's dealing with a common front on the Blake is. So if he's been forwarded to, and he's been listening to a so far, like what would. Your dial wrecked conversation with him. What would you say to him that's gonna fuck in person is hard right now. So when we met said before we came out over and over and over over and over and over the message, I got was that there's someone that need to hear your story today because he's been listened to these, he hasn't taken action yet. And he knows deep down this time to finally reach out because he has that same pay that same pain of not knowing not knowing why the pain is the way it is people around him, not understanding the pain that he goes through because I feel that we didn't. And that's why I'm telling you, those things there. And some of the have told you yet, and I'm telling you, if you've gone to that pain, you feel alone, and you need that brotherhood, you just don't know how to make sense of what you have going inside your head. And once you got going on inside your heart just reach out reach out the same come think about warrior week. At least investigate it differently in deeper because it will change your life. Even when you think there's no other hope you think nothing else can happen because it changed mind multiple times already. And beautiful. And for those of you resonated with this message you can find out more about this podcast audio video transcript on warrior week now dot com. It's obviously on YouTube as well. I tunes. I mean, and so many other platforms. But one of the new things that is out right now starting in about two weeks from nights a new a new adventure at starts online. It's gonna be the man challenge. It's an adventure is going to take you through six weeks of self-discovery and get you introduced to some of the conversations we had here will Blake an inside of the warriors way and the belief system that is behind that. And you get the experience that from home. Literally at the cost of fucking going to dinner and you get to be part of that, and, and that opens so many other doors after you've gone through that experience. So if this resonates, would you check out be the men dot com and you'll find all the details that starts your journey from there. If forty week is something as a must in your heart worry week dot com, it's by invitation now we only do a few year. It's an ultimate place that a man needs to get in. Blake has been a part of it three times, once as a trainer and twice as a participant and continue to be hit. I wanna thank you for your time being here. Know I truly honestly from the bottom, my heart, I want, I want to tell you that roll, like you've been a hero of mine living the warriors way at like, you know, going through what you had to do and inside of forty six. Just getting rid of what, what was holding you back. And letting you be who you are. And inside of that truly feel happy doesn't take away your problems like you have problems. Eyebrows. Wa fucking problems. Okay. But, but be happiness out of be happy guy, solving your poem. That's the key thing and create new fucking problems because that's how we fucking grow. Oh, we bigger problems with obviously a much bigger capacity. In last thing I just wanted to say, thank you for you for all you've done for me. Like you've been super close Houston, sixteen man. You've had a massive impact on my life gear massive impact on my life. And I'm just so grateful for for the movement of warrior, and everything is done for me and the ripple effect. It's had for everyone in my life. And so. Super, thank you may not appreciate you. I appreciate that. And lastly, don't forget, my fucking midnight buffet Brophy sliders. Yes, sir. The slightest thing. Does a body good brawl? All right. Thanks for being with us. Thanks for listening to this, and we'll catch you on the next episode because there is a story that was one two three maybe four maybe five other men that were worth it and the rest of us. More to praise their journey praise your own journey. Praise him. Put Noman between.