Toxic relationships - How and when to go no contact

Automatic TRANSCRIPT

It's cutting into your exercise time it stabbing you in the back nine and relief with active OTC ingredients plus the added benefits of THC free heme boil get Doctor Judah here Dr Ginny W. t. f. and tonight's topic in my practice who are bound up in a toxic relationship cut the ties so we're GONNA be talking about toxic parents and talk I just I run the psychological healing center and we do a lot of work in Sherman we have a little office in Beverly Hills and lots and lots of patients who contact sorry it's Epstein our our marriage five grief therapist and he is just beginning to learn the mind map system and other via a mind map so just a little bit about the mind map and how it random occurring a vet where whoops I ended up with someone who is in your life so let me shrink it for your little bit via the mind map the eight four three to eight to six and I would love to hear how to do it and I also have a lot of information on this subject clearly this is a hostage situation and please feel free again to share dysfunctions get laid down from early years of life and the mind left out of them setting better boundaries making better choices the effect of other people and at the effect of toxic people up of three panels of the mind map you will see wound this is the control the neck neglect there's obviously physical elect whether it be physical neglect or be emotional neglect that way of of of really disconnecting from your children and causing shing show up as what is happening in the middle of the fight back then it's again it say it's a no exit plan or lying sidey and even psychosomatic disorders to emotionally bleed and react panel number by encoding of the fiber of of of definition conclusions about the world and so depending on the type of injury we Hi what is your name please hi dawn had been there before it's a beautiful state and is a cooling down yet do oh wow okay okay so tell me a little bit about what you yeah I didn't know this until not only your videos but others do you how do you define Narcan path what's your experience okay so tell me what he was like and how you experienced every way he could okay so when I listed off the five childhood last three letter word that I don't like too much didn't sexually abuse occurred okay where my I call them enemies sibling I'm too I've finally wrote them very long dissertations than them black sheep so are my ex has been amies friend's yeah because they don't see me finally go enough okay well congratulations talk about all these elements because as you might know I have a lot of videos on sibling vote so that they become flying monkeys to the parents and it's not your side okay so whatever understand how these toxic bonds are formed so when we were abused were soaking it in we're blueprinting were getting the the messages the people that are our emotional source or so we hope they a father and so they will therefore as Alice Millar says abuse or neglect because they would rather be the batch child toxically tied to your father because you need them he's your father you WanNa kind of a a horrible deal here will where you need him and he there's and so on and so forth and then and then and setting you up for partners who may do similar to that energetic force and then you take the ride down into okay so so all right so now you're therapist only briefly she was saying that they want so badly that they're trying to bring me down anyway they can the color of the collapse of the system because if you have a dysfunctional system so rental system the Blue Ribbon standing for dad the pink one for mom if this is all an unhealthy foundation than the house is a house real good scapegoat and you're stepping out then and they don't want to reshuffle the system because they already got the system and you're part collapse it's GonNa Father Your father will not have his his his his aggressions out or or to esteem himself they incentivizing you with to keep you in the family structure I have no interest in doing from you know not liking that they want me to return to their church I'm like I've been out for so so did you pick as your ex also similar sound like it gets much worse what what does he do to top this off age yes order line okay with the borderline rage alcohol but he is a prescription drugs yourself from the situation we disagreed on everything I in our class these are signs canaveral like that service animal or not and I just two thousand seven okay and well he's long I don't know how to me okay so your father's been long gone okay so let let's just instinct PhD is your relationship toxic and you've mentioned of destruction of a relationship and the contempt is just bubbling violations the cruelty the sexual violations the Okay but there's enough there to to know in this case isn't it and in if you're in a toxic relationship is very difficult because there's also injured you and you never repaired with them or you never repaired in therapy you and so you keep chasing and chasing and along with the chasing becomes relief of the person coming back and repairing and re esteem by them changing they're gonNA now restore you to wholeness thinking to all the negativities it's hard to to you know there's so much peer pressure the thing is that just because apparently gone it doesn't mean they're gone from your head so this Paul dots a huge problem and oftentimes I call it active blinks or the Flying Monkeys Aka agents of something similar you know at this point there's really not a point other my my my co worker my boss or whatever should so if any contact is mentally so unhealthy for you that it's time to leave no turning back in the sad part because it's been set up that way so there's no there's no comfort zone here I'm down and if you don't get out of the pathway it'll fall on your pervert tiddly easy it's just my brother and have 'em just barely right so they're taking on your father's traits I'm GonNa move on in a minute you should go people how these bonds are formed and then your head okay so if you don't already have a copy of my book get from through to from the injuries through deconstructing them and morphing bat and the main thing is that you complete the psychological or or lovers or coworkers or her anybody so just after so long had you know enough is enough enough what is your name please Pat I can't how you talk Well I was born in twit histrionic psychopath okay so she did a lot of acting out yes yes okay so that's the history onic they used the act out a psychopath okay so psychopath is when people crossover it's borne out of childhood wounds I believe I don't NBA that I'm not a geneticist I'm psychologist and I get to watch major inorganic cause of psycho pathology so what are you suffering from given this background I don't have to trust or support or women even men it's like I all the action that you name call you slut I guess yeah I mean I just keep it's pretty intense so do you think that to her and you're younger than her obviously you're her daughter so yes that makes sense that makes sense okay okay so I mean that they create a kind of sense of norm even though it may fear of of of of mistrust than it's no surprise for the first stage of development the Ericsson model trust versus mistrust the only feel the pillars I'm using panel three now day builds you up rather than repeat out you don't get that then you are more something they're not gonna like it so does that make sense to you that who your so if you were to hazard a guess that how you perceive yourself how do you perceive like get to a point where like I I have golds just by myself properly now but matching matching this imprinting yes so he right feel like you're worthy or or all of the things that our parents be lowered your expectations of the world will be lowered and then you will become again you know you spin out and recreate and you was unsustainable and toxic so I never had a family and my parents are passed on emotionally ABC's skipped a few parts. I mean I don't think you can really evolve something this all of this well he remarried and a- As you know the family punching bag crazy stories about me that weren't true like like even looking back Zazi being like crazy stuff like seeing another town nick part of it so she literally turned everybody against you and who's your friend who's your enemy can you trust people is I think a lot of it is and I experimented but I say I just live more in isolation and Dan giving your worldview and your your family dynamics it's tone biology if a cell is being infiltrated with poisons and down so what happens to sell when they're too permeable no one there's a poisonous environment and their protective layers been penetrated you're you're membrane as a child was permeable nutritional so to speak however that's not what you received penetrated you see and so's the result of that you have to build the wall with the wall up is what you don't get I loved and you also don't receive the nutrients so in an ideal world we hey so that we're we're alone we want to somehow since that that vulnerability was already violated it's so you see where this the stuck for you are you are you currently in therapy I that's how I actually found out that I had PTSD and I guess I just I don't know I guess maybe that's the only me or request and you can email anybody could email me doctor daddy on the team and just know that the journey is not an easy in cognition and behaviors is just not going to be sustainable I think you you I hope now have you now have a better understanding eight and your father's gone and so became so how do you get out of the double dungeon of darkness as you got a source the pain be and then reboot the system right okay so to your your friends your family it's free and it us of childhood injuries and how they create a horrible we're having these reactions to what happened in this is not who you S. thank you so much GD welcome it's my pleasure and Ori everyone else feels like they can not feel so alone you know this is not just a gloss over kind of therapy fun it is just that it's very ultimately releasing and healing a two eight two six and the the point here is that psychosomatic when you feel your shoulders tense when you get a headache when you're feeling well then you know that something's really off and so trust around this person because they're your boss or their your child or their your if it comes to the point where it's absolutely making you sick and aw I'm sorry Jenny Hi Oh my parents are yes I can hear you I was wrong you know what why don't you why don't you turn down has my paintings are narcissist so and I know alley my father Okay callback Oh assist my dad's a narcissist you know we all right I see and regarding bowl where the people are just being used to satisfy the needs of call it the disposable disposable consciousness so and so what has this left you with the hand you know okay up curious to know how you do it where well I feel like I know when people like cops tendency aw you said you do give them or don't give them the the has no empathy that you just think about themselves even though for goal look you said you were an impasse and if you're the type of person of your softness are going to regard you as how how and when to let people go we have to understand that we're co creating of allowance is the way I'd like to put it so if you allow people to talk to you like that yeah exactly to do it too if they those options you know it's I don't know yeah because they have like you know McCullough Pendon Like I have I'm not very hard what I was just GonNa say the way I like to think about as GI ownership being in a relationship is a matter of earning that relationship you oh I think a healthy relationship is symbiotic one where this since wellbeing not just taking from the system because when you take take that's a train the child is steaming the child they're using the child to steam themselves so I just WanNa hit up one other topic which is how to leave the system you you you just gotTa you know somebody's the domestic violence I have to you just have to let them go not necessarily mm-hmm I because maybe they're just not in the state of mental health where they you're pretty balanced and

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