Blankety Blank - EP 288
I turn the fan on in here. You know I'm I love our fans. There really and I got no. I got this costco. It's big it blows me. It's black seat thinking. It's a big black fan which C._J.. was before he was a co host anyway. I got this at Costco and I hope it doesn't affect the quality here. Listen everyone just sh- listen to like is he can hear the fan in the room. Turn it off. It'll beep and then see if it makes a difference for the audience. This is this is with it on. I wonder if they can hear that now. I'M GONNA turn off. Hello motherfucker did he can make the sound difference. That's off. We can do the C._J.. Get to talk C._J.. Yeah Ah I think it won't make a difference if we're talking okay because if we're quiet and you can hear it and it sounds like Blake audience reason I bring it up is because this remotes not can you just push the turnpike on the only reason to bring you up is because the truth is I don't give a flying talk about that the quality it is so hot here in L._A.. That I'm GonNa just get those stirrups women when they get pap smears and get stirrups. I'M GONNA GET STIRRUPS installed in my T._v.. Watching Room and put a fan right on yeah right right off the bat. I gotta say Ross gave me some like what is this some lip balm and it's called Pussy send to me and I thought you'd like it wasn't a gift bag. I love the name. Let's just put it anyway. So the point is this is so hot and it's that time of year and you've you've been listening to the podcast of the program you know it you know he get to this year every year when I start complaining about the heat. I don't like it listen. I know I live in Palm Springs. It's not that I don't like the sun you understand. I like when it seventy five on Christmas Day in Palm Springs Right. What I don't like is when it's like one hundred every day in L._A.? One hundred ten every day a imposing. I'd like to wrap the summer up. I've never been a big fan. The only reason I like summer growing up because admit no school right but I'm always a fan of layering. I'm always a fan of a cardigan again and again. You really like seventy seventy five at Christmas cold because that's Christmas is all about no I don't mind I'd like I like in Palm Springs that I get to go in the pool on Christmas Day. Yeah I like that when it comes down yet chimney to tank top I just can't with the heat and I wonder I know I know it's bad on the east coast to feeling for. Everybody has haas everywhere my mom. She's like Oh. It's a scorcher Mount Vernon days. I got to eighty two okay do for for eighty two degrees. So how are you keeping Miriam during cool. Well you know it's been tricky this whole I'm not used to do you have central Air C._J.. In this essential air here mine are these wall units so I'm trying to get a windy in a window when I wanted my bedroom and I have one in the diners. I'm just trying to figure it out and it's hard to figure out what works you gotTa do the Dan's my recommend recommend as the only GonNa kiss kiss to that would be to hyperfocused in one room right. It's very loud in my room so song it's loud. I'm sorry so it's hard for me to sleep with that thing. Only you know yeah so white noise yeah. Why put your plugs in last night now is okay? There's a little bit better yeah. Oh we'll riveting so nicky. Boyer is the cooling. You're C._J.. Darlene Darlene. What are we going? What are we call your place A._J.? Darnold Jake's place darling you have central air but that you have a big place so you keep it all cool what I would do if I was building a home. <hes> and I am by the way this is my announcement starting my own contracting business where I'm going to be building homes. It's called home sweet home and so what I would do is I would. That's not real. I would filthy laugh I would build the audience knows not to look that up that I'm okay what I would do is I would put just I would have to air conditioning one for the house and one for the bedroom 'cause at night. I gotTA keep a cool but I don't WanNa yeah cool my kitchen. Hey C._G.. Clear Kitchen. I don't want Kuma kitchen when I'm sleeping. Yeah I think about it all the time. I haven't thought about that with center central air. That's what you have to do you. It'll be on throughout the whole how close some Vince too so close invents sorta push them air to areas yeah. What do I really think again riveting? Why do I have to do that dance mother nature just chill Sheila bit? I don't know me let me tell you what am I plan is. I've been thinking about it. When I retire like a minute and a half my plant of this I'm going to have to keep hooker darling palm springs right and then I'm GonNa get a place like in either San Francisco Cisco or Seattle where I can spend the summers in mice and cool so my whole life? Is it about seventy two. That's what I would like an air conditioned retirement K.. You know what I mean like a perfectly seventy two degree retirement argument yeah. That's what I want not too much to ask right nosy be in palm springs around Thanksgiving like okay and then get out of there because hey hey Siri Hey Siri. This motherfucker never answered. Hey Siri theory. Hey Siri you fucking. What's the temperature can tell you right now the temperature in San Francisco? Let's wait. What do you think it is? What do you think temperature is in San Francisco? You're saying seventy two J rod. I would say around eighty to eighty to eighty two vaccine. I agree with C._J.. Eighty two this is now turning Mount Vernon right now the temperatures seventy one degrees beautiful in Seattle seventy one degrees in in San Francisco. The temperature right now is a warm fifty nine degrees and a high at sixty three today and let me tell you a mere six hours away. My balls are cooking on the sidewalk sidewalk like a cracked a ball soup. Okay I am making today's jour is ball ball shoe. I bless you just you. That's Liza ordering during ball soup so anyway my whole point is my whole point is. Why can't I have an air conditioner life luck to get you today right? We were also. We're also getting together in the morning which is right. I have coffee as we're doing. Usually we do it with a Penal Greasy Team Street from the gym. Oh who's Jim all right. We have lots to get to do it is a very Nikki is to lots to Co.. He's the gay best friend you wish you had and no you need this top love money now. He is raw smack in the voting Mumbo jumbo. Who Will the program really phenomenal show we have today? Let's do a quick reach around segic mischief hi good morning. He came gliding in good morning. Good Morning Radio Show so brazen. You know what I mean it up. The Roth Matthys Jay go all the way he's looking for doing. During the theme song we can return are Mike Sound so I can say things like I said to him. It's like why don't you take Nikki's might cause Nikki and so he's now Nikki is not here. Nikki is visiting Mama Boyer the Mama Out in St Louis right right Nikki's birthday was the other day had this whole plan of. I was going to actually do a party for because usually we never do fucking anything for his birthday just because I don't know like and so this year is going to do a whole thing and then she had already told me she wouldn't be here but even yesterday was planning what I was going to do and then I always like ocean not going to be here so the one time we were actually GonNa do some day she he decides to show up Jay Rod so she can't complain about anything. No I was we Nikki. We missed you and happy birthday. We'll celebrate in the birthday next year after I was in Fresno all week <hes> phrase yes. I've never been to Fresno. I was your first time even Fresno. What did you think Oh okay? What's hot? Fresno is three hours north of L._A.. Sort of inland England north northeast a little bit you know what I mean so it's like desert hot rope. I was doing a show that I can't talk about if it gets on T._v.. I'll tell you and if it doesn't I'll tell you but I can't now understand pilot. I I love the show was really fun. I got sick though thick did unit hundred in to temperature in one hundred degrees. That's the worst yeah it was bad and I just work through. It just worked at that. I went to urgent care. Yeah you just powered Howard rights. You know what I was thinking about to. What did they do on the prairie before antibiotics right like say you know like I mean so Laura Ingalls in little house in the pair so she's just like going about her business? Just you know <hes> maybe she's working the summer for Doc Brown you know or Reverend Alden Yeah. Maybe maybe Nellie Olsen and her are out too late one time down pump creek and you know what I'm saying I do so the question is what did they do when they got really sick what this is. My question is what do they do when they got sick on the prairie who to call when they got little sick on the prairie and they had to call doc brown. What do you do Brown quick? Come Quick Lorestan exploded something awful. She got a fever. She needs a hill. That will fix it. Doc Brown says I'm sorry Mary Laura is going to have to wait it out right right so fucking Laura Little Laura Ingalls half pint is stock with swollen white tonsils fever chills aches and pains. It's not a damn thing you can give. Her paws point his hair out caroline ma she's baked. I can't tell you how many biscuits just had a worries. She's going to sell them down. <hes> Hero Township Pump Creek Park bring is bringing up Mankato way helps. I can tell you what I think they did anybody. Do you know how much little house I've watched. I know I know her. Those are all actual reminds me when Mr Edwards brought me at ten cup happened sugar stick and read mittens like he had a tweet grownup Tennessee but you watch you anybody who watch the house. The pair is dying laughing right now. You Watch the reruns of it because I up watching it when it would come on T._v.. I also okay let me pause. I read the books growing up. This is a true story. My mom got me all the books at a garage sale and I read every word every book more than once a little house on the prairie loved it. I I loved it and then I would go into the field near my I mean this is like how country Bumpkin I I basically was little Ross on the prairie rank so I would take the little house on the prairie books go in the field across the way read them and then close chapter and think about it and then I'd find four leaf clover clover in the thing in the back of the book I would put the four leaf clover eight in close and they would dry and I would like collect four leaf clover Murray plus. What if your mom's still has those books they are somewhere the little four leaf clover today are can I just back up to what what they did when they got sick and they didn't have you know what they did? They prayed but leeches on them. No they prayed remember. They'd all around the bad why little Mary was sick and sweat and they got in prayer works. Timeframe was this was in the eighteen hundreds when the west where the woods what they did and then Paul had a dream about out west and even though mas family was there and that's all the all the country they knew you decided to move out West and dream the American impossible dream <hes> not for gold but to build a bigger better life on the wild frontier. You'd think you would survive back in those time shorts. Certainly I'm street SM- prairie smart okay. I'm trailer smart. God Okay I. I know I would have been great in the prayer. I would have had a wife. That's true she. I get that portly Gal because I that's my type yeah all right and we would be you know we'd have children. I would have gotten the job done. I certainly certainly one of the outcome on the prairie job of Ben. My job would be the local prairie gossip columnist it'd be called the watering hole and it'd be in the local men canine weekly and you'd be probably obsessed with Nellie and her mom. Oh my God I are the main source say Harriet also has been listening into calls telephone was put in and in headquarters are at Olson's mercantile and you do that that was that was a one on one with Nellie problem. You'd have no Nellie would be my source. She was telling myself you would give it all up Kelly Ed. How would you circulate this news? Though how would I circulate it. I invent printing press for starters. That's how we make my my hundreds and by the way that goes a long way on the prairie. You've heard about millionaires back. Things need to be one hundred year yeah so you would have for the for the Mankato Herald and what I would do is I would have the watering hole should be like you know I'd say things like little spouse on the prairie you know about that'd be see the marriage reports a little spouse on the PRAIRIE UPDATE TURNS OUT NELLIE marrying that Jewish man who came in and huddled failed building diner in town little troll and the prairie angel on the prayer. That's what I 'cause. I would hate somebody I would hate. Hey Mrs beadle because I'd be like she's so kind. Though it's fake dark side door Miss Beetle Talk Shit the second you leave wow would be your first three advertisers my first advertisers. That's a great question of course Olson's mercantile. L. would be <hes> because they want that status thing I think the would mill were pot works would also get in there right I do and then the blind school where Mary he goes with the Hester sue go tell it on the Mon.. Um have any competition whatsoever none none no fucking prairie style killer motherfucker who came after me throw member Billie Joe tried to do the man Kato talking about making this when Billy Joel's are just tried to start another man Kato paper. I took him out back in a shot in the face base fucking prairie bench little dumb bitch on the prairie so you feared you'd be Oh yes I would be. I'd be ruthless ruthless on the prairie church every Sunday of course on my alden succeed front row. That's how they talk C._J.. On the prairie let me tell you you'd have avenue hope on the prairie I don't. I don't think he has the disposition on the prairie. Kindness is currency. You know there's nothing you're not kind but you know you need to stop by just by. There's no texting. It's hard to get a signal in prayer. You have to pop by and check in on folk. I don't see you doing that. Checking in on people do no not in this not. It's not that you don't I mean hello please. We go to Yonder Gay bar on the regular but it's like how do I say this talking to towns people just because you just have to make the rounds. Would you be willing to do that. Would you be willing to get near Buggy. Go Oh down to the Anderson farm and this. I'm talking about a three hour right <hes> k just to pop in <hes> you know bring him. Some eggs got you know Mrs collected too many as long as they wouldn't lynch me. I would would know what's flinching you on the prairie I can see I think you'd be very sweet and I think it'd be very kind and he and his family bring gifts to people. I can get out and do this. He'd be out around weekly point C._J.. On the prairie now listen now VACC- just said a buzz word around prairie folk and this is up and this is a polarizing issue. What did you say way to him? You said Bonnet now that abondoned polarizing issue in the parade just a hole in watering hole. I just did a whole expose on Bonnet. It was called Bonnet and Clyde because because anyway clydes would you wear a bonnet and let's go around one by one. Would you wear on it on the prairie prairie my answer and I I've always been traditional but motherfucking I never did the Youtube Ross. Come on Jay. Writing giving gave me a free membership. I lost it. I don't know how to get ads. I would wear on in Perry fantasy. I would insist that you were born and you know I would wear Bonnet and happily where that Bonnet and enjoy it. Yeah yes certainly would C.. J. Bonnet or non. Nobody Know Bonnet Nj rod what are the advantages and disadvantages of wearing. A Bond I have abundant would keep the sun out of your is also. There's something demure about a bonnet that just sort of says Ya. I live on a prairie yeah. I'm going to say no now my next the question the reason I bring that up on the the reason I bring this up is because telling you this is good. You know I lock into businesses. I knew this podcast would make make us millions bubbly brunch. legit is a business right the next thing I think we should make in yonder market street talk bonnets. Oh would anyone wear them off the shelf. If we did a live show again I would wear when live show what if we what if we did a little straight talk on the prairie live show C._J.. Can we get a brunch in like Montana Wyoming coming straight than we did little prairie and everyone were Bonnets Calico print addresses right on top of it. Who is your favorite Olsen? Let me tell you this Nielsen Alison Grim Right yeah she played Nellie my I love Nielsen and when I was at drag con in L._A.. I looked up in my line and Nellie <unk>. Alison Ingram was in the line to meet to take a picture. I go you never need to wait in line. You get here I mean she is. I asked her if she come on the podcast she said Yes you imagine what does she like. I heard she's a comedian. He's still she did a local show called a prairie bitch <hes> she did not traveling show. I saw it here locally not only it was really funny stories about being on the show but my favorite character of course is without a doubt Mrs Olsen the best yeah no campion being guys so I mean just the iconic iconic. <hes> didn't know how much that would hurt my throat to do that. Don't push them still. He'll yeah I have to shoot a T._v.. Show later today and fortunately it's not little hormone prairie which by the way I'm pitching networks now can you imagine little home on the prairie is about this that would be the gossip columnist who moves into the prairie. Life isn't the eighteen hundreds. It'd be like Oh my awed. He's totally just a home. Oh yeah and I don't think it's a time machine situation. I just think I came from like Minnesota. Yeah the big cities I came from Minnesota but then everyone it gets into me. WHO WOULD I be in the per on the prairie like would reprise homosexual replies actual on the would reprise the role of Harrison Thank you oh no your Ma? You're caroline. I am so not monitor Caroline ingles. I'm not hard to you want I probably want Nellie no no no mood play who would play Nellie then audition auditioned for kneeling C._J.. tweak a great rate. Nellie you think no Seton he has God what was his name. Pause friend with the beard all he was sexy. I thought he was sexy. Mr Edwards yes Mr Mr Edwards Yeah Great. Did you ever watch it. You I know who we're talking about. The audience knows some. Do they have demo out there. That certainly does we should put out on. Hello Ross Pon. We should put out a guide to a little homeowner prairie. Just so people can swipe sort of Mr Edwards is C._J.. We'll split screen. You don't always say what we're going to put the social. I forget that nobody who's I should do that. We should do what we should do follow through C. J. So C._J.'s Mr Edwards ah you're Nelly Nelly thank you. I'm the new star the Little Homo in the Prairie Nikki would be blind Mary. Oh she'd be a good blind mayor where she caroline the mom Oh. That's a hard call Mary Eh she's by Nikki's boy. Mary all blocked off a prairie. J. Rod is Albert Albert member the kid that PA and Ma adopted because they needed someone younger. I forgot about him. Yeah that sounds about right it was they extending. They were all like forty like the kids forty. Yeah it was like middle aged on the prairie actually on the prairie. That's the Middle Ages like Levin. It's not a long life on the anyway didn't talking about that when we come back. I have another business idea. I WanNa put you in involves C._J.. Making it happen and fancy working okay and I think it really legitimately is a great business plan. It's for a idea in palm springs business. I had it in the pool. My shoulders are so burnt by the way really yeah I covered my head and glasses and everything and put sunscreen on your shoulder. I don't know what I was thinking to Swim Shire's a C._J.. So I'm going to pick great gardens conferences so when we do do you know remember when I when we came up with bubbly brench together and then you made it happen I so you've got another brilliant billion dollar idea beautiful. Will I need a Yay or an yes or Mesh. When we come back shoulder? They shouldn't judy. Oh my gosh. She's playing on my p._I._N.. Agrees you. Do you know how do you. I'll tell are you taking lessons. Online through skill share skill share is an online learning community with thousands of amazing classes covering dozens of creative and entrepreneurial skills. You can take classes and everything from photography and creative writing to design productivity and so much more so whether you're returning to longtime passion project challenging yourself to get outside your comfort zone or simply exploring something. New Skill share has classes for you when people think they stop up learning once they've finished school in new honey we learn everyday joined the millions of student already learning on skill share today with a special offer just for our listeners get two months of skill share for free. That's right right. Skill share is offering straight talk listeners two months of unlimited access to thousands of classes for free to sign up go to skill share dot com straight up against skill share DOT com. I straight talk to start start. Your two months free now. KILLED SHARE DOT com slash straight talk show played again. You know he's as way easier to get into shape with a personal trainer. Somebody who can help whip you in shape. I don't know about you but sometime just so clueless right. Yes I fell asleep on a bench press Lewis. I am but I mean like when you learn to drive. You have a driving instructor because I don't know right when you when you jump out of a plane you have a skydiving instructor so maybe when you Wanna get your body together. You should have a instructor just makes sense right like somebody. It'd keep track of your progress and a place that has a support group to keep you motivated book. 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It's all in one keeping you accountable yeah and teaching you what you need to do to reach goals. I liked it yeah so like if you're in line getting a donut and you know you shouldn't be eating it. You can go on this and make a support group. They're and they're like doughnut. Get that is designed for results. It's out with the old habits in with the new sign up for your free trial trial. Today at noon is laughing like just neum is designed for results if out with the old habits in with the new sign up for your trial today at noon and O. M. Neum neum dot com slash straight talk what you have to lose visit neum dot com straight talk to start your trial today again neum dot com slash straight talk start losing weight for good. You Want Mumbo Jumbo John Abobo Jar and there's only one place to go. This is straight talk with Ross. Man is welcome back to the program everybody. It's a million dollar idea. I I have a theme song. I don't know but I've written many award-winning theme songs here. I was on a date somebody from from a British who we do right and ah a man and he was like you need to try and he was like Oh. There's this there's this T._v.. Show you heard a blankety blank in the U._k.. Likely by always and it was like no no so he played me an episode of blankety blank. I don't know if it's on anymore. Drag clean hosted it blinking blankety blank <hes> it's her drag queen was named Louis Savage but the thing is the theme song for blankety blank sounds like I wrote it and you have to hear any really has has like I think somebody I think I did write it and then somebody stole it from me so when you hear it see if if they were and maybe either listeners of the program and they were influenced by my work yeah see the see if this is it in fact ladies and Gentlemen Yeah Yeah Okay. Do you think these just listen to the words one more time. I think it's the subtlety in the lyrics that really will tip off that they've been listening or stealing. He's like you can hear an artist issue. No it was written. I feel like right lyrical genius genius. Yes yes yes. Yes yes all right. Here's blanketed link. Listen just warmer times. You can pick it C._J.. I want you to pay attention because you're my new lawyer doc and then again and that's a trick here. The genius and I think this is what they're seeing for. Me Is almost we didn't get it the first time so they repeat yeah I can eat blink Blink Lincoln Evening Ladies and Gentlemen Miss Lillies savage and drag me comes out yeah. I don't know what to say about that. I think they're just really trying to drive home. Blanketing playing wait. I get my marketing when I get my game not but when I get my game show the theme song will be repetitive and simple. I wouldn't call that simple blankety blank blankety blank. That's it's not offbeat though like your songs are yeah. That's the one thing they missed. It should have begun blink eighty yeah. Oh yeah that's true but I'd like to Redo it. Maybe we'll read you know what I'd like to come up with a game on our program that could be called blankety blank that I could use that theme song. I know what about this. I hide things under blankets kits and you have to guess what it is. It's the game just roll something and under a blanket time play role that in coveting the blanket. It's time to play what the blanket you know all right ladies and gentlemen. Please welcome Ross Matthews. Thank you so much everybody C._J.. Welcome Frisky C._J.. Thank Rabin into where are you from great. What do you think is under the blanket C._J.? Is it a zebra it. Is it a zebra so let's check with the judges. No it is not zebra right next we go to Jay Rod J. Rod. Where are you from super-duper? Thanks for being here. What is under the blinking we ask questions from? No no okay is it. Is it an airplane an ears it under the airplane. Oh that's a good and sir. Is it an airplane judges. No it is not an airplane no trying to tell you the mile hike up here on blogging <hes> <hes> next thanks thanks for being year. That's my new things. I just ask question. Don't weep for the what do you do all right. What vendor the blanket well well? When I think of blankets I think of a blanket on bed so I'm going to say quit sucker click? If you remember now you remember we listeners sent in a freaky fags. The last week Saguenay had purchased a new secretary called eclipse clip sucker Nikki WanNa try it affects. He wouldn't try it. I would though let's go to the judges isn't he. Under the blink is a clint sucker under the blanket. You're you're win win the blanket yeah that's not the clips off the bleak and win the Clintons win the blanket. Everyone no longer playing yeah yeah. What's under the blanket? Yeah no it is. I'm telling you I didn't plant believe it or not. People at home listening island clan that bit either so I was in palm springs and I neglected of course to S._P._F.. My shoulders which is not usually how a role you know what I'm saying I'm S._P._F.. I am but I was thinking you know we started the bubbly wrenches and I had another billion dollar idea C._J.. I want to pitch it to you. Okay C._J.. What I have for you as an opportunity of a lifetime? Okay you know we've already cornered cornered the market on bubbly brunches inexperience that once you've had it you want it again and again where you just have fun right. It's dragged brunch. I think we could expand the bubbly brand end listening in Palm Springs. There is so much to see so much to do such deep history imagine if you will Ross Matthews presents bubbly tours I buy like Van Okay decorate it fantasy malone hosts it yes or runs it and curate it and we have <hes> Drag Queen hosted and it's tours you can do you could do seven two hours a day eight hours a day throughout palm springs so you get some historical knowledge some fun you stop at bars that we partner with. It's a whole older an hour and a half experience right and sometimes I joined the tour this. What do you think about Ross? Matthews presents a very bubbly tour thinking with all the success. We've had thankfully with drug testing bubbly. I think this is a great step in the next direction for us now. The problem is this the business plan is flawed in this way and I'll tell you the van would probably see twenty and can only be done in palm springs. Thanks since but but I'm thinking so say you charge what would you what would you pay for an hour and a half two or four I've done towards palm springs like a bunch of them and I've paid about forty dollars but what we do you meet a person they give you a glass of champagne. People you can get on the tour so I would say that could be a fifty dollar thing right so we have a van fits fifteen to twenty people and we do seven to eight day. Someone get a calculator J. Rod what is Fifty Times Twenty Times Seven Fifty Times twenty times seven seven and a half seven thousand. Let's do six six tours of zero five towards a five tours so fifty times twenty times five if a person five thousand dollars a day yes. That's that's a lot of money. That's really good for now. How many days are an ear three hundred sixty times five thousand times three hundred sixty five one million eight hundred twenty five told you two million dollar idea? Divan that's a million dollar idea right. How about that well? You know I used to give tours in Hollywood on the wet and I was insane on that thing now okay now. Let's go back to the money thing because really we're not going to be interesting to five days a week ago. We're going to do it Friday Saturday Sunday right so there's three okay that's three days a week. There's fifty two weeks near so what's three times fifty two three times. Fifty two is hold on sorry out the calculator one hundred fifty six okay so that'd be hundred sixty year. We'll do it now times that tons five thousand and this is what we'd make if we did it three days three days a week five two hours a day seven hundred eighty thousand okay not a million mm still good so what I'm saying is and you could sell merch on that to add merged. That's right. My shoulders got burnt buddy seven hundred thousand dollar idea Baker. You might be smart if we're legit about this. Take it off their monitors and week. I am legitimate modernism week October. So what I need to do is really dig deep into the history of homes me. I don't want Willy Nilly. I want you to get facts like I'm I remember C._G.. took me on a tour. I've lived in politics for a like ten years. He took me in a two or three less palms and it was like this is Elvis's house in Elvis and Priscilla had to leave this house in their manager picked him up in the house there. She kept her firs across the street the tour when you imagine and then also stop at my stars everybody can take no but that's good. That's what about also a special tour that may be kicked off for the day of the bubbly like a leading up to drop them off at the bow the on Sunday to certain for certain yeah. There's so much you can do. Do you like this idea of really good one hundred percent. Can you do coke it on God. Yes I would. I would have so much fun being a tour guide on that everybody. Oh my God on the left is where Jacques a board of can you even have a whole thing and so the only only overhead would be paying our host paying driver and Van Upkeep and eventually success. We buy bigger van or another van so we could do a day a weekend or you know what I mean day during the weekend you double that number. Now you're at one point four million dollars. A you'd be a bad idea you to get right in that might or might not be a bad idea to partner with a tarp too because then you can parked van behind their meet their so then you can sell merchant there and it brings it is totaling yeah so good because you need a place to park the van. Keep hockey then you know what I'm saying the parked van you fucking park downtown on the street all day all week. Just move at night so it's advertising because we're going to what would you call the tour roses bubbly tour. Oh that's right. You're right Ross bubbly. Tour Ross is believed believed to you'll have van ride of fun. You know the tour you know. The van drives really Lee well okay. I think there should be a little like music playing in there with you coming on with soundbites there'd be like e when I was fired at when you do you do the tour of Universal Studios and a T._v.. Comes on undertake Jimmy Fallon high so it'd be like oh my picture video. That's great effects the host we do a shirt like the Hawaiian shirt but all the cartoon yeah I would love to sell visors quick advisors on it. They should all wear bonnets. What about what if we made for the tour eight Bonnet visor hybrid right so it's like a bonnet in the back advisor in the front visor on it? I thought you know Vomit Bonnet Advisor Bonnet avant it. I've I've on jet vaunted what trump should make Maga- ones like vomits so could be avant at trump. Oh my Rossi's bubbly tour Ivana trump okay so we're in. We're I'm in. We're in yeah okay. Oh how man Nikki's not in she's cut out of this business deal your mom k. The other thing I have to talk about is our everybody is talking talking about it. I don't know if you saw headline news everywhere when it was released. Is Our photo shoot if you didn't see the new official straight talk with Ross family portrait there's two of them. I would recommend you Mosey on down to Hello Ross pod. We the last thing we took pictures it. He's like a willy and a Brenda and so it was time to take brand new picture right and so we all I happen to be taking the cover from my book the picture of that cover which by the way the cover is great and there's an event coming up. It's going to be a cover release party. where the everyone's invite the public everybody here in Los Angeles okay you know until about it in August stay tuned Dili's? It'll be free to come. Everybody who just calm. We're going to release the cover fund. The title and pre-sales will start that day. We'll be live on all social media. That's the people can start the pre sales. Okay side note because I'll go into this later. If you pre-sale it really helps me out because then all those sales for the pre sales go to that first week of sales and that's how you get like my last week was a bestseller. That's how you get on the bestsellers list is because as you said <hes> <hes> was oh so we are shooting the cover my book and I thought Oh my God. Let's also shoot a new family. Photo and <hes> Albert's Sanchez is a <hes> listener and he's a podcast and he's also like this prolific photographer. I don't know if you know who shot you but the guy that shot our pictures shot like rupaul for Viva Glam that Matt Campaign I mean if you look at his stuff. He is extraordinary photographer and shot everybody every famous famous person every gorgeous person now at Ross Matthews to that list he shot my cover and he shot all of you so I asked if you could all come at the ends we could shoot her family photo and then I had an idea in fact Z.. The whole time I had this idea it was like are you serious about. This idea will yeah well. You want to tell them okay. You Walk me to tell I called you instead. What you okay you called you said I have an idea for the photo shoe shoot? I want us to all wear denim and white shirt and now that is your typical photographer like standard thing they ask you to wear when you go to like sears portrait studio where white shirt maybe some denim because I think photographs well so I heard this you kinda get gold. I let it go and I'm thinking about it my. I wonder if you serious I call him. I say Ross. Are you serious about this denim idea for the photo shoot kind of Ross one hundred percent. He was serious C._J.. When he came up with the Denim idea I thought I didn't know I've thought would I be was he just doing I would show up in Benham and no one else would would? I be made to play the fool you were serious serious because I up and the land with family mulling Leandra if they're one of my dear dear families I love uh-huh consider the family and they really fancy Nice House and up going up the bannister where all the family pictures from like portrait's like not pictures portrait yet and they were always done up in themes matching themes and I was I always always like off because when my found the one time we got a portrait I was like in third grade we all dressed different and so I like the picture until I saw what rich people did and then I was like fuck are picture we none of us match. I was in like a yellow oh sweater yellow yellow and so I always so mad about that and so when I decided we were going to another photo I thought do it like the landrace. What would the lien? They'd be like denim done in sneakers but the fact that you were one hundred percent behind this was took a lot of confidence. This is a bold move. If it's GonNa work thank you get. He goes a one hundred percent and when I saw you all show up in Denim and why it made me so happy because I know none of you wanted to do it but you have to admit it looks great right facts C._J.. What did you think we saw the photos? Oh great very look really great. I mean I was running. It was hot gonNA squeeze. It came out great but I I like that you wrote. I look high as fuck you hi. I wish I was high really I was just coming from way on the other side of hang up and running in get dressed. We had two seconds yeah. You did look really high fucking you but so much better story if you were high wish you were maybe outside and I forget Oh. I don't think he was high. Thank you were high. Thank you were J rod was. Do you know you're looking at. You'RE GONNA take out no. I don't think he was high yesterday. We're talking about. I'll tell you something people you work C.. J. Something that that Jay Rod people people notice is on your jacket your denim jacket it says are WM on it because that is my denim jacket that I did iron on patches iron that on that's cute. He got to wear your coat in the high school. Pitcher mark is wearing hugh you'll notice mark is wearing a denim jacket that is also denim jacket him to take home and then fags is wearing a denim shirt. That is my denim shirt that I gave to concern the icing. It was just what I needed. Yes can we talk about Margaret Second because there were two pictures one where he looked like a goof and then there was one that he kind of like a model but they're saying online that you can't see fee. I know where are marks lay there there. We were all their he the he was he was there but you guys on the comments like where's marks feet and I was like seriously that's what you have to say from this picture and I go back and look at the picture and I was like we are marks. Fees arcus Marcus a floating ORB e._J.. pull it out floating torso. There's two pictures one of the four of us of Nikki C._J.. Fanzine me and the one of the whole family England J. Rod and Bobby the monkey so look at Mark's legs K. People were saying it's Photoshop. The shop photoshopped him in with no leg. We wouldn't let him in the studio. I make room and then marks coming later 'cause I can't be in the same room at had him and then. Did you get along the load. Oh Oh like you how long we take a look here. I can just show you here. You got to show that to C.. J. Where are marks leg my legs behind you look like a little company crops look at a little person his neck you zoom in on the big family behind me because I'm sitting and it does look like pitcher so somebody Rob Beck and look at everything is so funny. Do you think mark this is marks favorite picture of him ever taken he looks good. I saw this select so he that's the only photo he looked like that is looking. He looks guerrillas Dallas Great. Yes stamen every photo Nikki looks by the way how gorgeous is nick. Gordon was struck by Mickey Be Cropping Nikki posted the pictures on Instagram for some reason didn't do the thing where the picture expand so like flaxseeds and C._G.'s heads just not in them and then she left it and I brought in their Nikki be proven but I text Nikki cut my head off. She can back to you. She says Oh my God I just re tweeted. I want to Redo it and I said please don't repose. I love to Redo it. No I love that are really way any no. She left at home Mike I can we were you post that and be like look at a Nikki Nikki crop. It's really funny. I'm okay also. Can we talk about my shoes because my yes like people are so much drama in the comments about fancy shoes. You must go. Hello Ross pod. Look at this photos. Share your thoughts as well. Let's go into the great to be okay when you told me one hundred percent. I'm like I'm in right go to Walmart. Get all my white denim stuff and I saw these horrible like nine hundred eighty four sneakers and I'm like they're only five bucks. This is camping and funny any so I wore them in the shoot but people are like those shoes that you should. The one guy made me like are those shoes you flee the fire in. They should burn terrible. It's Joe I wanted. I bought sneakers. I wanted them so why I didn't want a single dust particle on them and you and I went for the same kind of thing that's right. I kind of like an awkward family photo to trying to be campy with those. I wasn't there not my but now I kinda WANNA wear them for real yeah. I'm also somebody in the comments section said they were GonNa Photoshop themselves into our photo and so I would love it. If you all would do that if you photoshop yourself or something into our photos and tag us <hes> we will reposted hosted. Okay Wear Denim though it'd be fun if you're wearing. Where'd you if you wear but if you WANNA put Godzilla in our vote you WanNa put anything a big P. bottle and put Barbara Barbara and go nuts? We should do a couple to get people you do a couple of with lies. I'll do it tonight now. Super All right everybody okay and Nellie Olsen when we come back. We're GONNA go balls D- have a little blackness a jared going to get saucy eighteen and what else we anything freaky. Oh good jokes John Good super-duper that much more when we come back. Is there something interfering with your happiness or preventing you from achieving your goals honey. We've all been there yet. We have well better help. We'll assess your needs and match you with your own licensed professional therapist. You can start communicating almost right away most get to talk to therapists and under twenty four hours so make your account and at anytime send a message to your counselor you'll get timely and and thoughtful responses plus you can schedule weekly video or phone sessions. You won't ever have to sit in an uncomfortable waiting room with like you do with traditional therapy you know that's the part attrition therapy. That's always like like I gotta go and you sit there and say oh hi in the lobby yeah exactly but better help is committed to facilitating great therapeutic matches so they make it easy and free to change counters if you need it it's more affordable than traditional online counseling and how about this financial financial aid is available you take care of your physical health honey Medicare your mental health to no stigma and it's important better health wants you to start living happier life today. visit better help dot com slash straight talk that's B. D._t.. T. E. R. H.. E. L. P. Better help and join the over five hundred thousand people taking charge of their mental health with the help of an experienced professional things to better help straight talkers. Get Ten percent off your first month at better better health dot com such straight talk. That's better help dot com the E. R. H.. E. L. P. Better help dot com slash straight talk ten percent off your first month little. I've always wanted to read you this on because there's no words it just goes do it and then just do the hustle always not it'd be so much funnier Hewitt. If it the be instead of said do the hustle it said do the butthole too much do the behold. It's so funny. I love the song growing up. I used to do it everytime comes on because I do Donald on Pandora does not gonNA summer but it's always comes on and I go do the baffle they do uh-huh full the bunk whole everybody pothole see what would that even look like yeah work work you Bana like that. What would the behold looked like? Show your about whole to going to have to take it <music> Jira yeah everybody. Yes put your hands in the air driving yeah. I'm hopeful. I'll do the Bohol whole yeah I love there. Were I knew it'd be hit. The Bible tells you a stranger. Welcome back to everybody as we are continuing to thrive without Nikki. I mean we Miss Miss Nikki Boyer here on the program <hes> it is time though to Jay Z.. Choice right. We're either doing balls deep or Freaky Rickie fag see so what is it today okay well. I do have some good bad jokes C._J.. Magsi please okay. I have one freaky vaccine now. Listen if you want to buzz house out because sometimes these frigging get so freaky we can buzz out so if it's getting to gross for you Jay Rod or you see or even me Ross Matthews you can plead to me. I am I alone. Control the Buzzer so when if you hear sure this sound that's when I'm buzzing out you understand okay great now facts on your lover Blue Ball if you hear your left of blue balls if you hear that noise fags e you must what yes all right the okay this this one this one is from our friends Seth Comey Crap Seth Oh guy who wrote the that but this one poses a question for all of us okay. I will remind the Audience Comey Crap was Disgusting Story. That is the reason I have created the Buzzer all right the BUZZER did not exist until set disgusting was yes it okay so that Buzzer was created for that story. Facts please. It was from south hurry freaky bags a year so free sexy freaky freaky eight my senior year of college. I maxed out my federal loans. I was in nursing school and on top of going to classes had clinicals twelve twelve to three days a week twelve hours three days a week needless to say I had little time to find a part time job. I had to be creative and find another way to get food money. I had been lurking on chatter bait for a few years now. Tighter beat mock me through that chatter bait is a website website and which I'm just now exploring because of this freaky vaccine where people you can go on this website and people are on their cameras with these these keyboards from nineteen eighty-four and they're like being filmed masturbating and you can like chat with them and tell them what to do. It's really fascinating fascinate. Do you pay for this service. You can tip them and then you can go into like a private room with them but but but I didn't know you could just on the website and watch the whole thing it's free now and when you went in there. What did you see anyone? We knew I you know what I had I was looking for. I didn't see anybody we knew but I found good-looking guy because what if you just like you tuned on and it was like Oh my God mark only on it yesterday fags Eli Jade what did you were you looking at men or women women. We were looking at women. I thought I try and it sounded just like remind me to please. Can you got your mind need to give tricia arrays. Does he really was on chatter. Yeah I had been lurking on chatter bait for a few years by this time. Watching amateur guys jerk off on Webcam was a favorite pastime of mine. We should have straight talker beat where it's just like always one US Andrea masturbating. That's really visual always on all of us will take shifts. It's all right T._J.. You're up Gogo visual okay. As I was jerking off. I figured as he he was he was jerking off. I figured a jerk off anyway. I might as well record myself doing it and make money so he may I'm off is we'll be making money out yeah okay so to make money. He's GonNa go on chatter bait and earn a load. Yes okay I was really nervous. At first I kept at however and eventually got a small group the people that would watch and tip me regularly however the tips weren't nearly enough to pay for any anything meaningful. I was approached by an older gentleman who wanted to support me and be my food sugar. Daddy who is sugar day hopped on that opportunity like blanche on C._J.'s Dick. Oh my God on route sugar diet sounds like a high shook sugar daddy he was he was super sweet. I would text him. Throughout the day jerked offer him over camera. During the night. It was a weird relationship we have but it filled a need for both of us so what what would the older men would to provide what he he would here we go. He got he got whole picks and I got whole foods gift card. This went on for a few months until like picks I went on for a few it went on for a few months until I graduated and got a big boy job. I WANNA show support for Hor sex workers out there some do it out of necessity and others do it because they want to. There's absolutely nothing wrong with it. As long as it's safe and consensual sex work is so wrongfully shamed in our country. I think this needs to change. I believe that it should be legalized and regulated. What are your views on the legalization of sex work and how that might affect the industry and the people in it? I think this is a fascinating question well. I think it is to it comes. It's loaded question because let's just be upfront. There is a lot of sex work that is not consensual. Human traffic it is disgusting is not now. No we're not talking that that is vile in discussing and nobody he should meet me to do something they don't WanNa do especially with their body absolutely final period bold italic underlined everything right now that being said if there are two consenting adults who want to enter into an agreement. I don't think the government or I by or a Bible or anything should be able to get in between what to consenting grown humans wanted to if I'm going to sell this table to you right and you want to give me amount of money. Sell this table the year <hes>. I don't think that anyone should tell me that that's wrong. Era and you want the table and I want to sell it. That's right and I want to do it and you want to do it. We've agreed on a that's reciprocity well. I've always agree you agree. I've always felt that prostitution should be legal and I know that's a controversial thing to say and I don't mean it in a dirty way. I just feel like you can have safe sex with someone and like I just think that's just my feeling like I think it should be legalized. Sex Work yes again. I just want to highlight and neon sign disclaimer so we are. We know that that's out there that like I said that's controversial. Prostitution should be legal is a little controversial because you know back in the day used to be so frowned upon and you are women are taking back that power and presenting an away. If you look Cardi B. You're making the stallion in the way that they presented and then it comes off powerful but not like I'm a whole but you know here's what it is so I think to Toronto Point one hundred percent agree there. There is human trafficking. Yes that is wrong and those should be burned at the segment do that but if you're a powerful and you own your body in men consent and you both then by all means Cardi B. was a stripper she worked in the sacked she did it and she's very open about and I I would imagine I'm not talking about Cardi B. But I would imagine a strip or two has done a sexual favor or to to put the way through nursing school or two guys on only fans. I mean all day long. That's only fans. It's like if I'm I'm me if you're having sex we both agree. We want to have sex on camera. We set up an accountant and people would pay to watch our video so you could do little subscription. Sometimes it's five thousand one. Sometimes it's twenty a month then so I like hey guys have a new naked photo up. Go to my only fans and you'll get it. Oh my God guess what it's only fans is the brand of Fan I bought a costco says there long fans get that. That's a callback. Already is another freaky. I just had one forgive. Do have some good bad joe. Oh ooh good to C._J.. Okay now we get the computer. It seems really low J. Rod. Can we running. I'm GonNa Sanford good bad jokes where you listeners submit jokes that are good but bad C._J.. Reads them in Valley girl. The voice and I translate God good fat Joe to share on straight with Ross Matthews I eat it what it Cinderella do and she got to the ball. What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball? We heard this one before I think I know I think in reading she got. I just do this. This is that what do what you got to the ball and you go next. Did you hear about the guy who dipped his balls and did you here about the guy who dipped his balls in glitter pretty nuts kiss kiss pretty nuts like this. I like this I didn't see coming to should we try to solve them. Hold on continue next. I don't understand people that can understand erectile dysfunction. I mean it's not that hard not that with a nice little softer than the other wire as the first to leave place as the first to leave a place because they're sets already pat hollow aw anal sex jokes. We got one more okay last one. What do you call a hippies wife? What do you call hippies wife Def- Mississippi Mississippi Yeah? She's share. I Gede it was so okay. It's time for the black <hes> in in protect your magic news. I'm just going to say I don't know who needs to hear this but you are loved to quote the amazing pack the bells. Somebody loves you baby and you know who it is. So if you're listening to US you're here. You're having fun. Just I know that you were allowed to got a bunch of great. deums people saying that last week's message really touched them side just went to let you know you're at loved also randomly take some time to check on five random friends in your phone. You know what I mean. Sometimes it's good to go into the text and maybe just scroll up really fast and stop topic and see somebody that you have in reached out to longtime because sometimes those people need a message and you don't need to get deep conversation that quick hey thinking about you. Just hope everything is well and put a little hard Emoji. That was that will make somebody's Day at truly will just like randomly do that. It means a lot. Can I time out right here. I'm taking something back I said earlier because nobody is better at the Rando. Check in text than C._J.. Was Gonna I was thinking that when he was saying that and so now I'm going to take it back. You would do great on the prairie because a prairie tax prairie text is a wagon right to to a neighbor or rock through your window. We didn't know think about violence on the better. That's a prairie dry by right rage works. Whoa just I'm all about nurturing the relationships in the friends that are like sometimes we get very kind of caught up in life and you know and I know things get get dark in time but reach out to those people they will reach out to you and you know it's good to kind of built that family and that's just all what about love and that's it simple as you should run for Prairie Mayor Berry see that prairie mayor for sure do prairie tours? Oh I would love that renewed in a wagon. That's that would be fine. Yeah y'all tipping over and people come to the Prairie Ladies Prairie tour welcome to the Perry Ladies and gentlemen on the Left. You'll find the Olson's mercantile stool. You know why you look closely. You'll see Nellie and her mom Harriet. Oh look right over there. There's Mrs Beetle. Everybody say hi to her. Don't trust that a bitch over Gods and there's blind Mary. Can we slow it down the wagon down a little bit. There was blind. I was was upset. She went blind but most of it. I know that story line but I think it was also storyline on the bugs. It was like his yeah. She went blind the books for real but it was a bummer major bomber. WHO's bummer the only one to ever get an emmy nomination out of all the actors <hes>? Why do I know that why is that taking space in my head? Don't know all right. Thank you C.. J. J. Rod now. Do you WANNA get saucy. Okay okay. Let's do it all right so I don't know if you've been pay attention to news but <hes> my Commonwealth Puerto Rico just basically overthrew governor not very very proud of him. Did you see that that was amazing because they're governor Republican governor. He's Democrat Republican. I believe that's what I turn on. The News. We're talking about. Him doesn't matter at the <hes> he if I'm wrong amount but he said horrible things they were chats that came out about his people <hes> disgusting things. Why don't you love homophobic stuff <hes> he was calling a bunch of officials whores he was disrespecting women a lot of misogynous tweeted? I'm very I'm proud of Puerto Rico to come together regardless of party affiliation and just overthrowing this type of bigotry and I feel like we can learn a lot from that just saying that is <hes> listen what I love seeing where people in the streets in mass I do protesting speaking truth to power not being complacent. Yes I think maybe we could take a yeah tip from less people. I'm a huge activists. I like marching and things like protests that good for Ricky Martin and he was right off pride flag up breaking more. We keep my I I love Macri Martin O.. I met him recently yeah. It was great. He seems like a really nice person. I'm not I'm rick. I I don't mean to insinuate anything I just met him and then I realized I met him somewhere. What yes I'm a sucker for job? You know what because I can't even talk about so right after Ricky Martin Pug pride flag that other so we will puck that do can you make note right now looking and I'll say love Ricky Martin lovely alright everybody buddy. Hey so just a reminder. The bubbly branches are happening this weekend in Chicago. I will be there. How do they get tickets to go to Ross bubbly branch dotcom? They're still tickets less or selling out also with yes Russell Chicago you could still we'll get tickets. Go go go bakersfield. We only have eighteen tickets more. I'm sure they will be gone by next week. You're selling show is fun. Say San Diego just found out today. We probably only have thirty four times left already know August eleventh August August eleven seattle. We will announce soon. It's going to be Labor Day weekend. We're just working out the details. We're good on our side but we're just waiting. Are we doing a bunch and the podcast. We're waiting on that. That's more wrench for shirts. The marches text is happening. I don't if remains a branch so stay tuned by next pocket. Just I would imagine either Brench for sure and Seattle Labor Day weekend for sure or Brunch and podcast Labor Day weekend and then also to we're going to I guess we can physically officially announced. Tickets aren't familiar but we're doing in New York officially again. September fourteenth 'cause pop up to kick off real privatises bubbly brunch and so and that's going to be great great and anywhere Columbus Columbus happening. That's where we're announcing. Stay tuned up because I'm getting emails from people so all these cities are are coming and happening and and for people in the group looking for dates and when they can get tickets. Just make sure you're following the instagram. That's going to be the best place to get information. We get everything there Ross. Bubbly branch on instagram also Ross bubbly bunch dot com links will always we'll be updated. It is updated. Just keep checking back for that okay. Let me tell you to cast from New York is kind of and this is in Brooklyn but we were live show we initially signed off and everybody dusty ray-ban was going to host. Oh my God for real. We have honey Davenport work. We have Gigli Kellyanne. No we have a Lexus Michelle. No and we have a rookie the one that climbed up Brooklyn Oh my God that's an amazing lineup for booking and what does that again September fourteenth. We're actually looking talk to brunches now. Oh great good all right because that's great news all right. Hey listen if you WANNA follow to follow Ross bubbly wrench if you WanNa Paul C. J. C. J. Life C. J. A. Y.. L. Y. E. C. J. Life why I because he's a very mayor Malone Fancy Malone yes can. I say I want to thank everybody for the feedback on afterglow boyer was my last guest S. C.. J. Will be my next guest Clo- so we'll be recapping this episode and also I'll be at the crystal shrine here in Burbank giving automatic pen readings Saturday from eleven to six P._M.. And you can go to automatic pin writer DOT COM to book. You don't have to not not local you because you've been having streetwalkers readings Internet yeah and the response has been extraordinary. It's because I do it on facetime so I switched turn the camera and they can see everything that's happened. It's your drying and then do they get the notes that you all the sketches I draw you send it Tyson talk. That's amazing yeah good automatic writer DOT COM also it's a gay gay podcast support that <hes> do do listen afterglow. It's comes up in the street. Talk Feet and it's really good. It's really funny inciteful. Well done thank you. It's fun after after show. The official Jiji Rod is Josh Underscore Rodriguez Underscore Nikki Nikki Boyer. I am Hello Ross and the program is Hello Ross Paul Do.