366: The Truth About My Messy Journey
When you're back up against the wall. You have to do the thing that you don't think that you can do. And for me that was facing my fear and figuring out how the after earn some more money. And I am so grateful that this happened. Welcome to the earn. Your happy podcast. I'm Laurie harder founder of the bliss project. Three time fitness world champion, fitness expert and cover model turned self love junkie lifestyle entrepreneur and author each week all bring you a guest or a thought that will help you bus through your fears. Connect your soul and get focused and clear so you can elevate your life business and relationships we don't wait until we're ready for someone to tell us. We're good enough. We take what we want and we annoyance ourselves. Get ready to earn own and on apologetically rock your happiness every single day. Are you with me? Here we go. Welcome back to earn your happy podcast. And it's time for another quick because there's always time for inspiration. And I love seeing all of your stories of where you're fitting this in whether it's getting ready in the morning on a walk or on your recruit to work, whatever that is. Thank you guys so much for taking me with you. It's always Superfund to know who I'm talking to when I see you guys on stories. So today, you know, some things I really realize sometimes I don't share is. I live so much in the present. Or in my planning of what I want to be doing. And I've done so much work around the old stories and the old limiting beliefs as I know you guys do the same that sometimes we can completely forget to share the actual journey. And I think that even though I do share a lot of my journey. I don't really get super granular. And I thought that this would be kind of a fun episode to be able to take you guys through the actual. Time line of my life. So I'm gonna take you through the pretty much the middle section where I want to show what the journey really looks like in how long it truly takes to either form new beliefs or new habits or really dig yourself out of sometimes that really dark place that many of us are either in right now or that we have visited in the past or were afraid to go back to and I want to start out with just saying, you know, in the I'm going to basically start sharing from like sixteen on. But I will tell you. I just had like a download of how important it is to tell people that whatever you see now is absolutely you know, in anyone's life in anyone's life. Whatever you see. Now, it's a beautiful reward for the journey that they've been on and to never ever ever judge where someone is at right now because we do not know. What lessons they need to teach? And sometimes you have to go through some really crazy. A gli awful experiences that we could judge really really really hard. Whether it's our self or others in order to come out of the other side and save people who are either in or going through the same thing. I actually had an amazing podcast. It's going to be coming out in a few weeks really talking about some some of her journey who I'm not gonna say the name yet. But really some of her journey that a lot of us could really be judgmental on. And I will tell you that I have so many parts of my journey that I'm not even prepared to share yet. But they will probably be shared in the future that I know I had to go through certain experiences in order to teach share and have massive compassion for everybody who's going through them right now and to not judge. So with that said, I will tell you growing up from zero to eighteen I was in a very small town called Marquette Michigan. And it was like literally. What felt like three hours from anywhere with like a real mall just use mall as a reference point? Because it was like we called it the north woods, the we actually have a name. It's or a nickname for who. We are. We call ourselves the Ubers in there's an actual if you wanna know my life in nutshell, I just want you to Google da. Uber's DA why I believe it's why oh PR s in that was a band that pretty much just sang about what it was like to live in the upper peninsula, and you can just listen to one of those songs, and it will summarize pretty much what I heard growing up and my life. So. Lots of trees, lots of immagination, lots of playing outside just to give you an example when I was sixteen I was on a road trip with my friend. It was like an hour road trip. And it was in the middle of the night. And I will tell you. She was not the best driver. She was a pretty crappy driver, but I will say I can't blame her for this happening because I my my eyes were peeled on the road as well. We were on this road trip and it was during deer season, which means that a lot of the hunters are scaring, the deer out of the woods. And there's just a lot of deer at that time and one out in one hour, we hit two deer and one bare do not worry not too many animals got hurt during that time. But it was something that you absolutely could not avoid like, they literally jut out in front of your car. So that's what the UP is like with that said, I wanna tell you just the journey of kind of how my work life and. My life generally went and we'll see where this goes just so you can see how your journey may be matches up. Maybe you're in the middle of it. Maybe you are feeling like you're on the other side. I know that I'm still in the middle of it, which is really really exciting because growth is what we're here for no matter how much that hurts. So all right at sixteen years old. I started working at a coffee shop and the coffee shops name was being Orell is and I learned so much about just being a really amazing employees and going above and beyond. And also how important recognition was for me. It made me so excited to make somebody proud, and I also took so much pride in my job over making really good coffee because I was obsessed with coffee. I also learned that I really liked I liked hard work. And I liked when I could kind of like set my own tone. So I would always bring in my CDs and put him into the. Cd player, and I wanted to create an atmosphere for people. So at a really young age even at sixteen years old. I was all about like, how can I create a really good experience for people and looking back. I think that's so funny because it's something I'm obsessed with now how can I create a really great atmosphere and experience for people at an event. It's one of my favorite things to do whether have people over for dinner, whether I'm doing in a bent, and yeah, I would bring my fiance, apple CDs. And just like be like, oh, if I love this everybody must love this, great coffee and a great experience. And so that was my sixteen to eighteen job being rela at eighteen I ended up moving out because I did I was raised in a more restrictive religion. And I was like just felt like I was held like s spring and at eighteen I was just I was I'm Terry issue. Guys, like us the opposite of what you wanna do to aside. Terry take away anything that feels like a freedom. So I was like get me out of here. I need to go. See the world I need to be able to speak my truth any figure this out. Out. But before I did that I got myself into a lot of trouble because after being in a more restrictive lifestyle, I balanced around like a spring and just went wild for a while. So with that said when I was eighteen I moved out on my own Wissam roommates, and I worked at a TGI Friday's because I had no education and didn't have any, you know, college degree or anything like that. So I was like, okay, I can be a waitress, and I can, you know, just really really hustle to make great money. And I remember my rent was two hundred and fifty dollars. We split it down the middle. So is five hundred dollars split to fifty and her, and I roommate her and I shared a one bedroom. So we both had are like twin sized beds in this one bedroom apartment. Well, TGI Fridays wasn't really cutting it I was working, double shifts. I was exhausted and a girl that I knew who worked at TGI Fridays said, hey, I also work hooters, you should come work over there. I make X amount of dollars in tips. And it's so much easier. I was like, okay. I feel like this is like oh my God. If my parents found out, they would absolutely kill me. And I went over there for an interview. I ended up getting the job I still worked at TGI Fridays and I worked at hooters, and I ended up working. I ended up quitting. No sorry. I got my third job because I was like ready to just make money I was spending money faster than I could. Then I could make it. I was drinking every single night probably partially because I felt bad about taking that job in lying to my parents. You've I never told my parents I worked there until last year until I was thirty seven years old. You wanna talk about suppressing your truth that would be living a double life suppressing your truth. So that was me living a double life suppressing numbing feeling so bad about it drinking, you know, trying random drugs just because I was so so so like just in that exploit. Ration- phase and also massive guilt. Phase over just the the point that my life had ended up in but also not willing to not keep exploring because I just had zero life experiences. Really at that point. So worked at TJ Fridays worked at hooters and someplace called Muskie lounge all at once. And I remember I was driving from Muskie lounge was like a like a dingy on the lake like cocktail place that people went and they pulled their boats up, and they would like have late night cocktails and you serve food in metal buckets like French fries, and you know, fish and chips and things like that. So I was slinging metal buckets. Like, I would carry them on my arms, and I remember one night in this musky lounge job only lasted like three months, so as working three jobs for about three months or something like that. I remember going from TGI Fridays to Muskie lounge, and I was in my little geo metro, and I was so tired, and I was so. So hung over. And I was so depressed in my executive was like through the roof, and I just sat and I would cry in my car up until I knew I would be late for my next job in new I had to go, and I would just drag myself in from place to place to place like is this even an existence like what is this? I'm eighteen and I feel like I can't drag myself through this existence. So what ended up happening is. I kinda hit a wall. And I ended up quitting all of them except for hooters. I went fulltime hooters. And it was just a lot of different experiences there, and I'll tell you. It was hilarious because my boss was always like you need to sit down and talk to the guys more you'd make more money. If you were flirting more, you'd make more money if you actually made them feel important, I was like the most on interested hooters girl ever. I would just be like, hi, what's your order? So I didn't make as much money as the other girls. But I was not. Well, I just couldn't do it. I was like I can't like I'm just going to be a waitress here. I will give them good service. But I just I'm not that person. Who's like the networker who can sit down and some girls. I mean, you guys it wasn't just about the guys in flirting like some of them were just like they were just like sales people. They were so good. It was insane. So I learned a lot about sales there to be honest because they would upgrade, you know, they it's just selling food selling beer selling food selling yourself, basically selling your personality. So learn. Earned a lot there. But just had a moment where I was like, you know, what great experience my soul's, totally done. Here. Gotta move on. Like, I just was being I knew I was made for more. So I up graded my life. And I got a job at a somewhere in the mall called T S are wireless. So this was in Madison, Wisconsin and TSR wireless was a cell phone pager company. Now, this is right. When cell phones were getting popular. So like the very very very beginning. You guys I sold pagers. Like, I thought it was so incredibly cool to have a pager in the cell phones that were there were like most people weren't even buying cell phones. It was selling pagers. And I remember like my God. This pager has like a clear case. This is the coolest pager I've ever seen dropped like I don't know about you. But I dropped so many pagers in the toilet because you wear them on your waistband. But with that said, I learned sales that was the first. First time that people took time to actually teach me true sales. Like, what does it look like to close the deal? What do you have to say to actually get sales because I was pretty much only paid on. I believe I still got an hourly there, but then I was paid on commission. And then when cellphones got more popular, I remember, it was like ten dollars per pager that I would get paid and then like seventeen dollars per cell phone. Oh my God. I had no idea what motivated person I could be when I was actually, you know, counting. How many different things that I could sell? So I ended up doing really well at that job from eighteen in or I'm sorry from nineteen intil about twenty and they moved me to Milwaukee. They're like, hey, the Milwaukee area's really growing there's a lot of opportunity there. I wanted to move to Milwaukee. So I moved and I moved out on my own completely on my own was the first time I had my own place. It was a one bedroom apartment, and I started that job. And it was probably only a month or two later. I'm terrible with timelines in. I was at work this this place was again in the mall was in Brookefield mom in the center kiosk, and I had just gone in for an evening shift. And I think I usually reported a net three or four and they were like, hey, they called me up. Hey, you can close the kiosk early tonight. I was like, oh awesome. That's great. And they're like, well, it's not really great because this is a permanent close the company is going out of business. And I was like what like I just moved here and got my own apartment like I had all of these responsibilities. And so I was freaking out because I had nowhere to go. And I had already gotten in with this company, and I was really worried because you guys I really had zero like background and education and here, I am in Milwaukee. And I'm Mike how? Am I gonna make money? I was doing great at the sales job. This is how I was affording. My rent how was affording mice my car and so got on employment right away. And it was one week later while on unemployment, my car, got stolen. So I have no car. I have no job, and I'm like completely desperate and out of luck on my own in Milwaukee. My parents are were always in debt. They had no money to give me I had no one to borrow money from I had to figure it out. So what ended up happening is. I went back to my old boss who was running that company. And I was like where you going. What's going on? Is there any job opportunities where you're at? And he had kind of paved the way for a lot of us who had gotten laid off. And he was like ham going over to AT and T. I'm going to be a district manager over there. I'll put an good word for you. So a few weeks later, I ended up getting that job. Thank god. So from twenty to twenty. One I worked at AT and T selling cell phones. And I can honestly tell you I learned the art of closing people and taking people through a sales process, and you have to ask for the clothes, and you have to tell people what they need and you have to tell them why. And you have to tell them why you think it's important in different. And why they just told you have to get to the pain point of why they want this and why they need it. I really learned about that. Or I would starve so with that said I was like I won't be eating or paying for a new car if I don't figure this out right away. So I even scraped rides together. When I started that job because I did not get a car right away had no money for a car so scraping rides together. Asking friends taking the bus whatever that looked like so twenty to twenty one and then twenty two what ended up happening. Was I had moved back in twenty one. After my lease was up living on my own for a year. I moved back in with roommates because I felt really lonely, and I happen to move back in with some people who were not super awesome. And there was some just crappy stuff going down. And I needed to pay off I needed to pay off a lot of credit card debt, I needed to just get my life together at massive credit card debt, like I said, and I also just was in a really bad situation. There were people coming in and out of my house, one of my roommates made keys for different people. So there were like strangers or somehow they got keys they were like different strangers that I would wake up to in my living room. So I called my dad, and I said, hey, I don't have to give you all details. But my life is like kind of falling apart right now. It's a massive shambles. I'm like kind of scared for just crap going down around my house that I do not want to be a part of. And I need to pay off my debt, and I'm Ben. In the night. Don't know how I'm going to get out. I was like at complete rock bottom. I had destroyed relationships in my life. I was drinking every single night in debt over my ears. Like did not know what to do with myself. Just felt like a loser. I always the way that I would talk to myself was you're a loser. You're disgusting. No one wants to be around. You. No one's going to accept you. Like what is your mouth function like in my higher, self literally? I could still hear it. But I was numbing it out in the more that I even heard my higher self say, you're made for more the more. My lower self was like really look around at your life. No, you're not you're never going to amount to anything. And so twenty two moved back or twenty one twenty two moved back to Green Bay Wisconsin ended up starting to work with my dad doing kitchens and bathrooms which I'd done when I was really young or always helped him out at a shop. Sanding countertops. And he would teach me how to put in cabinetry. You're finishing work on cabinetry year flooring or things like that. So I worked with him for a while. And ended up paying off a lot of my credit card debts and move back home. This is when I was still not really, you know, telling my parents what went on or what I was up to because moved back in and again had curfew because I was in my parents house in hearing him at like twenty one twenty two years old. So from there did the kitchens and bathrooms was starting to pay off debts ended up meeting. My husband, but started also in the interim working at a place called Joe to go which was a coffee shop like a to go coffee shop in a little hut from twenty three to twenty five. So when I got married at twenty four I still work there. So Twenty-three to about twenty five I worked at Jodi goes, slinging to go coffee. You guys it was actually an amazing job. And I make great tips. And I like again like loved making people's day loved memorizing orders love like just being that person that they looked forward to at this point. I knew that I wanted to be a personal trainer. But my and my fear and really believing that I didn't know how to like I really thought it was dumb. Like, I labeled myself like I was I truly look back. And I know that I was such a hard worker because I thought that was so stupid that if I worked hard enough that it would make up for my lack of intelligence like book smart, and I'll tell you that one of my Grandpa's his passed away now. But something that just was left with me that was kind of a painful memories, just he celebrated my sister for being so book smart for being such a brilliant human being, you know, she was like straight A's on math. And she's like was a genius in school. And my grandpa was always like, oh, you know, Celebes. Reading just smarts. Because smart see like that. Because he was a scientist at the Pentagon. This was my adopted grandpa or the grandfather who adopted my dad when he was thirteen from an orphanage. And so I remember he was teaching my sister something and he said to me he's like, oh, no. You wouldn't understand this your sister's your sister smart just stuck with me for ever like, oh, I'm not the smart one. So a better work hard. So at that point I wanted to be a personal trainer. And I ended up trying to take the test and never completed it like, I never even completed the studies, and I kept telling myself, I'm like, I don't understand this. And I'm never going to understand it. So I quit. So I kept going at Joe to go. And then at twenty six we ended up moving and to Minneapolis. And again, I wanted a better job. I wanted to be you know, I knew that I wanted more. But I was too afraid to go out and try. Get anything. So instead I worked at an Ulta which is like a big makeup store. I did the checkout counter I would low or unload the truck I would stock merch and I ended up doing makeup there as well. And that was like, Ooh, I get to do make up. This is so exciting, which was freaking awesome. But I didn't get to do it all the time. It's like they're like or your great on the truck. So we assigned you to the truck again. I'm like, oh my God. They know I'm a hard worker. I should really start slacking. I didn't know so then from twenty I ended up just like could not handle that job anymore. So at twenty seven I started in a salon, and I was the receptionist guys twenty seven I still was way too afraid to follow through on my dreams. So while I was at the salon. This is when I did my first fitness competition. And this is when I started getting a little bit of confidence by doing something that really scared me. And even though it wasn't a job. It was something that really made me face. My fear of fear of stage and being out in front of people innings -iety, my anxiety was through the roof from probably twenty to twenty seven. But it really took a massive turn it like twenty five twenty six you guys where when I was twenty four twenty five is when I started taking all of the anti depressants into exile, eighty pills and realized that they were completely numbing out all of my emotions, and I had to end up. I ended up quitting those cold Turkey, which I do not recommend some people really need to stay on medication. But for me, I had ended up on so many that I had a moment of realizing that I had to face this things -iety in fear, or my life was going to continue down this insane spiral that I had started of avoiding everything like I thought I was going to end up in a padded room because I started to become so even socially afraid to go out and even talk in front of our friends like I couldn't even hold a conversation in front of four. Four or five like of our friends at a dinner table without experiencing a panic attack. When attention would be focused on me. So with that said twenty seven I was doing my first finished competition working as a receptionist, and then let's see where was I'm writing this. Or I wrote this down at that point is when Chris's job when the economy in two thousand seven took a downturn. He was in mortgage and finance and he ended up losing his job. And we ended up losing her house. We ended up losing our cars, and we ended up being a few hundred thousand dollars in debt. So guess what happened when your back is up against the wall? You have to do the thing that you don't think that you can do and for me that was facing my fear and figuring out how the after earning more money, and I am so grateful that this happened. So something I wanna point out if your back is up against the wall. Thank god. Because it's going to make you rise to the freaking occasion. And if your back is not against the wall do something to put your back against the wall. So I still do things to put my back against the wall. Like like financial things that make me show up. So whether it's hiring a coach or whether it's going to an event, or whether it's putting money down on something or whether it saying I'm going to start a company or whatever that looks like right now, I literally am like how do I make my higher self come out again because it's real easy to get awfully comfortable in your comfort zone. That is actually starts to be suffocating. So I'm always trying to do things to stretch me. So let's see at twenty seven ish. I took my I ended up going back and getting applying for certification course, and going through the certification course, and then taking the tasks and I failed then I went back week later and. I'll tell you when I first I was like you are such a loser. This is not for you. And I was like if you don't buck that F up, you are never ever going to get out of this horrendous rut, and you guys I just got so sick of my own bullshit excuses. Like, you know that point where you can't even like look in the mirror because you're so over making excuses. That's where I was at and so twenty eight I ended up having my personal training certification and got a job at LA, fitness. Well, they weren't hiring trainers who didn't have experience yet, but they were hiring sales people. So I ended up doing sales at LA fitness for a while. And from there the sales converted into training spots opening up and I became a trainer. Well, the training. There was six dollars per thirty minute session. And I was hustling so hard to make no money. Now. It was the best experience I've ever had in my life because. Is to be honest with you. I had never been in more fear over training people feeling like I was super inexperienced. So I remember my worst fear was what if I get like a doctor or what if I get what if I get a chiropractor? What if I get these people who know, I don't know anything like outside of my test. And what happened my first few clients? I add a chiropractor, and I had a doctor and they loved my training. And here's what I focused on. I was so freaking nervous. I was like they're going to know. They're gonna know they're gonna know that I don't know everything about the body. They're going to ask me what this muscle what this muscles name, or what this joint does in which way moves, and you know, because I'm thinking from the personal training test. They did not care. They just want to know that I'm going to keep them safe and give them a good workout. And by all means that was my focus, and I knew exactly how to do that. And I just focused on making them feel good and giving them a good workout. So wherever you're at right now, don't focus on the fear because something great will come out of your way. Worst fear actually coming true. I promise you so decided I could not do that hustle anymore. But didn't have a way out. And I started to share my passion with the people that I knew in my life. So I didn't even know I was doing this. But you know, it became the best thing that I can look backwards and share with you. And I'll tell you what I did. I was telling my clients that my dream was to own my own studio. My dream was to really make this like a fitness Brent like a big fitness brand or be like a fitness celebrity who could really help a lot of people in. I told us to one of my clients who was a chiropractor. And she said, I just opened my own chiropractics office. I have a basement that is unfinished like exposed beams, and wires and installation and all of the things, but we can trade my sessions in the first couple months until you can pay me rent, and I was like done a week later. I was in that basement exposed beams with. Some closet MIR. Do you know what I'm talking about the back door the MIR's glued to the back of your doors? I glued three of those up one ended up breaking right away kept that up for the whole year. You guys I put down that foam padding that you buy from target like where kids normally play like those squares. And then I got some elastic bands. Like for elastic bands helped me those what do we call them? Whatever bans for working out. I got a bow sue ball. I got a stability ball, and I bought some weights. It's all I could afford. I had no money Chris. And I had no money at this point. So we invested in this gym that was downstairs, it was clean. But it had exposed beams. You could see all the wires clearly in a basement, and I just started taking clients, and I told them that I was remodeling or I was waiting to finish this basement because we just moved in. I had no intention of finishing it. I had no frickin money. So with that said trained for one year, and I ended. It up making such good money there that I opened my own studio. So at thirty years old, I ended up or thirty one years old. I opened my own studio thirty two I found network marketing and decided this was my way out I was going to make a bunch of money doing network marketing, and I really really really decided that this was going to be the way that finally gave Chris and I break in that. He would join me, and I will tell you that it what it it became that. Because I was so fired up, and I was so incredibly in my y and just for timing sake. I wanna tell you that I ended up working so hard at network marketing knowing that this was something that I could do no matter what I could share something. I freaking love with people. And I loved loved the company that we are still with as Eissa gen-x and loved this company and loved with this did so much. Much that I decided it was going to be the thing that created the platform that all of my dreams could live on. And that's exactly what it did. We did not quit until we created the lifestyle in the income that we wanted. And until we knew that we did this for other people as well. And I will say that staying in that staying with that for the seven or eight years that we've now been in it and really taking that money and creating other platforms, and creating these events and being able to have e courses be being able to help so many different people has truly been so foundational for us that you know, where no matter where you're at right now, it's about remembering to always appreciate the money. That's coming in from the thing that you are doing now, and I've had to do that. So many times I wanted to close my gym early. I wanted to stop my some of my different programs that I have early. I wanted to stop training early. But you have to wait you have to wait until you can transition into the thing where you get the money for the next thing. Or if you know, you're that person that just tears the band aid often is in so much pain that you have to make something happen. Then maybe that's you. Maybe you can take the leap, and you know, that about yourself that you just have to make it work because your back is up against the wall. But you guys I'm so grateful for you. I I will continue the story at another time, but for quickies time sake, I know that I'm already over the thirty minute, Mark. But I wanted to tell you about what that journey really looks like and a half to pick up where we left off at that really the network marketing point into where I'm at right now because that's a whole second half of my journey. So let me know if you wanna know the rest, I can absolutely create a podcast or quickey off of the rest of it. But I want to know do you feel this way are you in the same journey as me are you what point in your journey? Are you at let me know your takeaways and share this on your stories new guys, I'm sending you so much love today. And until next time earn your happy Bivary one. Thank you so much for spending this time with me on the earn your happy podcast. I am. So glad that you stopped by if you could take one second to share this episode with someone you think would love it. That would be absolutely amazing. And we would be forever grateful. Also, please leave us review if you feel so moved by going to I tunes and leaving us an honest thought and honest comment, tallest what you think tell us what you want to hear more of it would really help us out on our journey to helping thousands and thousands of people until then don't forget to earn your happy thanksgiving guys. Bye. Bye.