A lot of us are in a transitional place.


Welcome to the MISFIT STARS PODCASTS Tour edition time. I'm standing curtis and on Jamie Hill Hi everyone one hi Shannon. Hello Wow hey hey guess what happened just about fifteen minutes ago well. I know they were driving in this car right now about to report our podcast for this week. I guess what listeners haven't we cross the Columbia River which means that we crossed back into the state of Washington for the first time in months and where we live on our who's bed. We're going to sleep in tonight. Our own bed our own bed. Oh my gosh she's bed. We're going to sleep in a weird question Hey Man when you're when you're a real easy. Who's better you in each night hard to know risque but just seventy. It's not elect it's very exciting to be just so very close to our own house. We're still in addition though because tourist done over even though we're staying the night tonight in our own bed in her own house we still have a a handful of more shows to do this week and through next weekend and then sort of a couple of outliers in a week or so after that but we are we are so excited back in the state of Washington Yeah. It's wonderful and we love it here here. We haven't seen it in two and a half months. I know and it's beautiful and it just it feels like home which is pretty awesome because it is home. That's fortunate hey so Do you want to welcome our new listener. Oh yeah you know what thank you for that open door Shannon. I would love to walk through it. Yes inside this welcoming room. Welcome all of you new listeners right nine. If you are one of the people who picked up one of our glossy misfit stars postcards this week on our pop up store table. Thank you for that and thanks for tuning in super cool and to a new supporting members. Oh my gosh. Thanks you all new supporting and we're very grateful for you in case you're listening to this and you're like what's a supporting member. KNBR. Here's the deal. This podcast is largely free. Listen to you just go to apple podcast. You'RE GONNA stitcher you go to our website. Whatever and you listen to it. and we want that but if you want to use it as an excuse to support what we're doing and also literally to support the podcast. This is a listener supported podcast so if you want to self select into that rarified group group of special people special cast your lot in with our our stars we do your are stars. Is that a little corny hell. Yes it is yeah. Is it very sincere and earnest. Hell yes that too. Is this the place for that. Hell yes always present as you probably have picked up on. I'm usually the more sarcastic one Shannon's usually the more honest one but I let her ernest gravitational force pull me toward her side on this kind of stuff because that's important from Shannon there are times when earnestness is not not just okay but actually the appropriate course of action and I really feel like with are supporting members. This is one of those times because we take seriously that you take us seriously yes and you know what we do new. Ernest as health stuff sometimes in his podcast and in the private facebook group that Oh by the way you get access to if you become a supporting member if when rights they were chanting so so we would love it. If you want to become part of our stars the way that you do that is it's very easy you go to misfit stars dot COM mm slash join and you just follow the instructions you find there you pick the level of support that works best for you five hundred twenty a month people and they're like visit sticker pack you on a guest. She can get that t shirt level. You can choose that with the basic levels five bucks a month and and you will get all of our exclusive exclusive members only content from time to time discovers only stuff on youtube but there's nothing else to seven with. Eh went with no. It's okay also will be invited to join our private facebook group online and you can get to know smother stars and they're pretty great. We we have the just the most supportive conversations in there. It's really seemed to want to use that area as a force for good and I'm here for here for that too and Shannon by the way is wearing her misfit stars T. Shirt today I am because we're the ones who made these t shirts. We made each of ourselves one. It's a great it's good shirts and you know what now that you've worn for like ten months or so and launder repeatedly you'd like it really holds up. Well ages well. It's a good Eric really ties. I'll just throw that out there again. I WanNa get yourself a teacher. It's a level you can do that so thank you those of you who decided to join us as as members and later in this episode. We're going to talk about the absolutely incredible day we had yesterday in Salem Oregon where we got to do do a concert for a center for housed youth. Yeah the center serves mainly a youth population ages eighteen to twenty five. I took we were. We're GONNA talk all about this second half episode it was I mean this sounds kind of over the top in that what I'm about to say here but it in in a lot of ways my experience there yesterday kind of felt like a kind of a life changing day in some ways like a really shifted my perspective in some really deep and in profound ways and so it was an eye opener. We're going to talk about that in the second half of today's episode so stay tuned for that but other than that. Where did tour tickets this week. Jamie well the first thing we did since we last spoke with our listeners as we celebrated your mom's birthday we did celebrate. We were in northern California on on my mom's birthday lovely her with her and her boyfriend friends great it was wonderful. It was really really nice evening. It was and then we drove just an absolutely beautiful drive day from northern California up to the Boise area and we had a show in Eagle Idaho. We shirted which is not exactly a suburb because it was one. I found that out there right. It's an older neighborhoods for the area from Lake was incorporated. It's been around forever but I think it was incorporated. As a town like in the seventies seventies seventies western town vibe it's cute as hell up in the hills and we've been going there for a number of years now to do house concert with our friends. Nicole and Mike and and so the Nicola Mike we were indoors this year because we were you know getting close to fall and the weather had definitely turned and so we were inside today day today at that show but you don't realize this when you're like in California but the rest of the world switches over to fall yeah you're kind of late summertime anywhere roles like Oh. It's chilly and I can wear socks but Nicole and Mike their house holds the distinction of US performing. Maybe one of our hottest concerts ever the the first time we ever did a show at their house one hundred twelve degrees outside and I was sitting in the sun and it's a miracle. I didn't die the miracle. We all didn't die listening to her. I know it was really really hot but yes we've been doing shows with our with our friends day for a number of years now and and it's one of those situations where I feel so so grateful with year after year getting to know these people better in deeper way just wonderful feeling closer and closer to them as they continue to invite us into their lives and into the into their community it's really remarkable and privilege thing to be wonderful. you know they're just they're neat couple. They've got two wonderful kids. it's just a really cool situation. getting to know getting to know. Both of them has been just such a joy. Nicole is sort of more forward in that way and might play cards a little closer to the best yeah and sort of you know unpeeled his layers and sort of getting in like he's got this warm tenderhearted share and it's just been such a privilege against the no a side of him he said the most touching thing to me. I always take the hosts right before. Guests show up just to a private place. It's prep on what the show is going to look like that year. Refresh them on on what day of show host duties are and in that little private time. Mike said I just said thank you so much for continuing to invite us back is really special and Mike was was the one who said you know. I don't think it would feel like summer. If you guys weren't here which only my gosh you know what I mean. It's it's just such a profound thing to me. We met met these people in someone else's backyard because we travel around doing music and now like these are dear people in our lives and I feel that way about them to we didn't see them. I I would be disappointed totally. It's just really nifty magical. I love being able to grow with people in that way and getting to know your families Their daughter is remarkable like I'm sure kids are great but their daughters older and we've just gotten to know her little personality over the last number of years she so wonderful. I'm sure that the the Sun will get to know in that way to yeah just a little boy yeah for sure like toddler age just sort of and so yes this year their daughter there there hung around quite a lot. She was there for soundcheck. Yes she's she's been sort of like. They have in their basement which she's been playing. She's never had lessons ah but she we could hear her playing down from downstairs in the basement like playing left hand and right hand at the same time you know versions of Mary had a little lamb and a couple of more sick. Song Doa dear dear yeah I also taking out to the ball game yeah and so she's not had lessons but she's figuring out the piano and clearly has an intuitive sense of with pianos all about also deer and take me out to the ball game are not simple songs harmonica speaking to intuit those melodies. You have to have an intuitive understanding of the idea that there are internal modulations like she doesn't have language for that but those aren't necessarily simple melodies to pick out. It's not like they're all just on the white keys. Amu- and she has the rhythm and she she has all of this figured out. She's eight by the way she's not like. An old like fifteen year olds like she's a young human being and she has been figuring this out for pretty needs. She's been teaching herself apparently notation but like she doesn't know what her own notation yeah yeah. I know figuring out system for writing down how to play on the piano. We most people who learn music. Have it's notes and you know it. She's figured out her own. System is so amazing we had. She asked if she could play my piano and so after soundcheck we had her up on the bench and she was just just playing notes. She wasn't playing a song of any kind she was just kind of playing a melody with her right hand and some other notes complimentary mentoring notes with her left hand and it was musical and it was like it was it was pretty neat to to share that moment with her and I was telling Nicole after the show a ways after the show like you know. I just telling her like she's got you know she's got some some intuition around piano. She's a smart girl and and and Nicole shared with me some stuff. It was really just really cool she. She was saying that it's really important for her. She she recognizes that she has an old soul. She's raising and also she. She was sharing with me. What a what a big value it is of hers as as a mom to give her daughter experiences where she sees strong women doing work. That's meaningful to give her daughter the notion to instill in her daughter the idea that women are strong and can do whatever they want to do in the world and she she shared with other experiences that she's given her daughter just giving her exposure to different women doing doing you you know bold stuff in the world with their lives and I was just like Oh man like this is how cool but one of the most important jobs on the planet is the job that are for. Nicole is is doing his mom of this little girl. I'm raising a daughter. That's you know we'll be able to to see what's possible for herself. As as citizen of this world and go out there and you know she's going to save us all to approach parenting a daughter as a mom with that sort of intense analogy is so powerful to me you know not just the idea that you can do anything but that specifically as a woman you can do anything and I am going to show you examples of women doing stuff in the world in strong and powerful ways and what an honor by the way for her to include you in that I've a high fell nearly honored to be included in that group. Gosh I sure that it was it was an interesting parallel for me that night between that conversation in one other conversation I had with a guest at the show this woman who I think she's probably in her sixties. I would guess I would I if I had to. You take a guess at her age She's she was it was her first time seeing one of our shows and talked with her for a good long while L. after the show and she was sharing with me a little bit about career transition that she's in right now. She's you know she. She told me she was retired. Tired and then I probed a little bit more about that and it turns out that her last job ended just like a month or so ago and so she's technically retired but looking for the next thing uh-huh and kind of unsure what that's going to be and then she sort of like shared with me how she's thinking that maybe the first time in her life or her career as a working woman woman. She's worked your whole life. The maybe for the first time she's able to look for something to spend her time. Doing that is meaningful and feels like is something of purpose for her but that she that she has spent a lot of her life and her career working career doing jobs that she quote unquote thought she should she was supposed to do yeah rather than sort of being purpose driven or passion driven short and she also she was in our conversation. She also shared with me. about how she has a step daughter who's in her mid twenty s and she was sharing with me how much she admired her stepdaughter for being a young woman who does seem to be making decisions about her career and her life based on on on look ideals strength and passion and purpose. You know choosing to spend her life life. You know doing things because with those values in mind and she said something at some point that was sort of like this a wistful comment like I wish I I wish as a younger woman I would have been enabled to or a known. That was an option for me to choose to do things the way that she's doing them and you know I think this is a direct correlation to it. We're seeing with our friend. Cole raising her daughter. You know like the fact that this stepdaughter is is aware of the fact that these are choices available to her is directly attributable to the generation and of this sixty something year old woman that I was talking to who has made it possible for for those coming behind them to know that the options are there to to you know put cracks in those those glass ceilings women like her experience matters her experience even though she maybe just now figuring out that she could make some of those choices based on her own passion and purpose the work that she has done paving the way for the rest of US matters and counts toward toward our world becoming one in which women are empowered to do more than generations previous. CBS Stars have been able to do exactly right. You know so that was that was just a neat tie in that night. I felt like I left there feeling like I'm just proud to be a woman girl absolutely no and just feeling really great about about the women in my life life. The women that were we've encountered encountered all summer who are out there doing new things trying new stuff living in their truth living in their strengths and changing their worlds. You know the words with the people around him as a result yeah so go girls girls. I mean women not girls girls colloquial. Okay that's true as intended in a pejorative way. It's okay. I think so too well from Eagle. We drove. We drove West Toward Oregon beautiful drive day. Yeah you know we're in the Frick Buni. Leave the Boise area in Idaho Idaho. There's not a lot west of there and then you enter Oregon and there's a whole lot less fair because we drove through some just really remote desolate areas it was a gorgeous drive and it was a lot of it was new road for us gas which is highly difficult to achieve in the lives of two people apple who've driven pretty much every road drive in the United States seriously yeah but you know it was once one medium scared destination to another mother medium obscure destination you know through a not very well traveled route and so we ended up in Bend Oregon during that drive and what a beautiful place place. I haven't been there since I was a kid when I was when I was like an elementary school at some point my family took an Oregon vacation and I remember that we went to Sun River Oregon remember. We're having a t shirt that I wore at school felt very proud of that. I was like back in wearing my T. shirt from out of state in elementary school and we got back from summer vacation yeah yeah. I remember being having a t shirt from somewhere where you don't live years old yeah totally and so. I kind of feel like that frankly. Oh do you. Oh really yeah. I've got my outsiders house t shirt from Tulsa Oklahoma. I've been wearing that proudly on tour. That's true to our friend. Danny boy that's so true so yeah you know bend is is beautiful and it was a really unique situation that brought us to bend one unlike any that we've really ever had on our how artur touring career someone who would our hosts. Lawrence Sauce perform at House concert in Gresham Oregon earlier earlier this summer a phase high and when we extended the dates for our late summer and fall dates she wrote with a really interesting idea. She's like you know. I don't think that I can that. I got the ability to get your your minimum thirty people to come to a concert but I have a different idea. What do you think about this instead and what she suggested is that she wanted to invite twelve of her closest girlfriends to her vacation home or family vacation home in bend for a whole weekend getaway of which the concert Saturday night was going to be a centerpiece of the night and so she sponsored the show and and then had her friends chip in for that sponsored show rates so we could do this performance for a smaller more intimate group of people and it was magical. It was really really really really cool first of all you were. The only guy had that feel. Oh great very very comfortable for me. I think I've talked about this in previous episodes of the podcast but like I have surrounded myself largely with women in my adult life from age eighteen onwards. I've sought out the company of women. I've lived with only women's since I I had I had a male roommate my freshman year of college no remain my sophomore year had one but then he wasn't able to come back to school so I just had the room to myself on a junior and senior year three and five women respectively in those years and have only lived with a female roommates for the entire time since then and I'd just feel super comfortable in in a female environment and I feel very comfortable being the only the only guy in a female environment. It's a role I know well and can be very comfortable in us and so it was great for me. I love it you are you currently have sparkly toast. So you know like I said we got pedicures and I didn't get a color. I just hadn't put the sparkle stuff on yeah. It's real discreetly from certain angles. You can't even tell I forget and then I'll catch him in the morning like what the either sparkle toes so this. This episode is turning out to be a whole lot of women. I love it. I love the women energy here yeah but this this women energy at this at this cabin in bend was a beautiful beautiful night. We're up in the mountains. They're allegation like three eight thousand feet and you know because these women had gathered together with the intention analogy of spending time together and then sort of having those Saturday nights centerpiece of if they're gathering concerts and it and we were up in the mountains it kind of felt like camp you know like do like getting away to it also sharply for House kind of backs up just to a nature preserve exactly but it's just like there's a wetland area that kind of just goes through the land of the terror river yeah ends and so had that we're out in the boonies at camp feel really accentuate because like you go out to her back patio and it's just like reads and deer runs and trees yeah yeah a lot of other houses very cool in that way you know when you're when you get away to a place like that like you know whether it's for a vacation or weekend getaway or right when you were kid and you went to camp you know there is something about being in nature and being out in a place where when you look up at night you sued the stars. You know it just makes you feel. I don't know it makes me feel a little bit more able to be in touch with things things outside of my everyday concerns yes you know and to be to be in that environment with those with those women doing that. It was just really special. We got to talk with abundant. We stayed forever and talked and had so many conversations with people and one of the women said me one of the first conversations I I had somebody afterward. Actually she said you know a lot of us here. IT TURNS OUT WE'RE ALL A lot of us are sort of in a transitional place in our our lives for one reason or other and she shared with me what that meant for her and then in the subsequent conversations. I had with a number more of them. It was so true and like the people are going through big stuff from major career changes to going through divorces to you know pondering a a a significant move new location just major lifestyle stuff. That's not that that you know. Oh getting away to contemplate would probably be really good idea you know and and get some perspective yeah life like getting away affords you perspective on your life. Yeah it totally totally and so just you know that this group of people I don't even know if they knew that everybody so many of them in this group were going through so how many changes in transitions right now or if it just ended up being that way or maybe that's something that the odds are you know this age group of women. Maybe that's it happens more frequently. During that phase of life yeah potentially knows I'm not even sure if that was intentional or not but here they were I can't processing their transitions friends and we got to be a part of that and that was really special that was really really special and for her to use your songs and the show you of created and this thing that we do energetically in a group of people as a focal point for that was a real honor for me absolutely oh you know what I do like you could tell that she knew that that's the energy that because we bring energy and she knew that she was going to be bringing energy to in that she thought that those energies would be a good fit for one was a spot on and be super cool. Yeah thank you Laurin yeah. It was a really special nights. It was the following day we drove some more new road from Bend Oregon to Newberg Oregon over a mountain pass over the cascades. It was gorgeous. Just be youthful will and we ended up at the new big. Blue House occupied buyer dear friends Darlene Lennox and I should say it's not a new house the house from like nineteen eighteen o six but it's new to them last year and they Charleena's somebody that I met way back in two thousand ten then when I was on tour with a two other songwriters and a drummer that we had hired we called ourselves the band end of songwriters we learn each other's songs and played each other played backup for each other big shoutout to Aaron Beaumont. GT Spangler Nick Beer. That's right and we went out on this tour around the Western. US and that's when I first met Darlene we played it was actually probably the maybe one of the first house concerts I've ever replayed with band of songwriters back in two thousand ten. That's where I met Darlene and She invited us all to stay at her house that night. which was great? It's the guys took over her kid's bedrooms where they were bunk beds and that meant that the only spot left for me to sleep in was right next to Charleen in her bed o the very first day that I met Darlene. We shared a bed together sounds very racy but it was not at all but we've been we've been dear friends ever since then share a bed with somebody you gotta remained friends. That's just the role. Oh yeah sure so we've been different since then and a few years ago she married her sweetheart. Lennox who's just an amazing soul wonderful and they they have been working toward toward dreams dreams in their lives toward goals that they've got as individuals and as a couple and this big blue house where they moved into a year ago is a manifestation station up so much of the bounty that they have been just welcoming into their lives and it was so wonderful to be there and celebrate that with them in their news so ooh wonderful it's yeah it's just amazing. I mean 'cause we have known darlene through a bunch of different versions of her life. Yeah Darlene for instance is yeah. She's an incredible nurturer. She laid the very definition of what it is to be a nurturing human being She has raised her own kitchen. Ritchie is also raised a bunch of her niece's kids. just out of a need that arose in everyone's life she is just a wonderful person a wonderful mom just caring soul and you know she is always centered other people in that way and so look for her now to be a place where she doesn't they don't have any kids currently living with them right. Everyone's kind of out of the House and she and Lennox get to explore lake. What will what are the what are our dreams. Raza Copeland what we want for our say and they really wanted a space where a that felt like a sanctuary for them to have a space for Lennox to do music like a real intentional space not like the corner of a bedroom somewhere but like here's your music space. I we relate to that. We're those people to and space space for her to do the stuff that she likes to do and then also space for guests in space for family and just for it to be a sanctuary for not just then before anyone who wants to be able to come to spend time with them and just decompress which is such an amazing thing and it's this beautiful house from like the early nineteen hundreds with this amazing woodwork and he's really high ceilings in that very classic western American architecture kind of way it's beautiful. It's wonderful and it's just it's spacious but not too big. It's big but still comfy. It's just wonderful she shared with us that she's been wanting to host one of our house concerts for years and this is finally the year that she got to start doing that and they. I mean they told us next year I think we're going to be. They're going to be on your schedule next summer ever which I'm so excited about. I think it's I think it's it's already an annual tradition also they're living room sounds really good. Does is true like old plaster last laugh. Oh my gosh does good things for sound people. Can I tell you my favorite moment of the whole the have several favorite moments one of my favorite moments of the whole night was was when Lennox got up at the end of the concerts to sort of give closing remarks at the end of the show and I end the the show with a song called infinite lines which is on the new record and I introduced the song as being my love song to possibility and he got up and he remarked about that. He's like you know I'm i. I heard you say before you put that last. Song that this is your love song possibility and it was so fitting because over the course of this evening I fell in love the possibility that is just the most rewarding thing that I could have possibly heard from any human like seriously. That's that's what you know. When I write a record I write I write about the stuff that I am personally wrestling with snow or needing in my life you know like this record. It came directly out of my own experience of you know understanding that there's a lot of really dark stuff happening in the world and in our in our lives all the time but that I need I needed to be able to focus is on what's possible and put my energy towards that and find others who want to do the same thing as we can propel each other forward toward a to a better place than where where we are right. Now you know what I've needed and and you know if I could have. I didn't really articulate this so much before we set out for the tour but if I could go back in time I would. I would articulate my goals for this tour as or my goal this tour as being. I want a whole bunch of people to fall in love with possibility and he summed up for me in a way that I didn't even realize that's that's what I hope is what is needed in my life and I and I realize over the course of sharing me songs with people that also need is other people on that journey falling in love with that idea at banding together to to move forward. I agree with that completely. I mean because there has been is pervasive subtext for us as a society over the past couple of years and that's dread and foreboding and lack of certainty and worry about the future and I I know that for you and for me part of what we really were very conscious about as we were working on designing this record you know Oh in the store and this whole experience was the idea that we really needed a center positively into central joy yeah and to and to really explicitly not have there be heaviness S. or darkness but really have it be a celebration yeah you know and we'll because we have a lot celebrate Yup. We really do. That's it. We have a lot of celebrate and we have a a lot of really great ideas to make our lives in this world better than they currently are and we're not gonNA ever achieve them. If we Wallo hello and I know that we doesn't mean you need the world in general that's what our ideas in the world that are good and that we can act on. Yes yeah and we need really to be focusing on that. You know it's really easy to feel divided and focus on the negative and I think it's sometimes really hard to feel like there is that sense of possibility and that there is something something positive that we can all focus on as as a body politic yeah absolutely so that was really fun. It was a great night can't wait to go back next year same also they've had the cutest kitty ever. Yes that's so true and I wanNA give a shout out to misfits Dr Scott's daughter. Abby who you showed up. That's right yeah. She losing area came by that was so fun great good for the shutout human being so we're GonNa take a quick break and we are going to come back after the break. We're going to tell you about the the concert experience that we had yesterday final concert in this last week's run of shows which was a really unique and profound experience for us both revelatory even yeah so stay tuned after the break wait for that we'll see since Unisex. Uh We're back back which means we're still on. I five driving. Could you tell or driving date of Washington barreling towards coma where we live so so sorry tonight sleeping in our own bed alleluia just for one night to start but I don't want to rush into things you gotTa East back in Yeah. He's back in mm-hmm but yes we're back. We are here in the second part of today's episode to talk about the show that we did yesterday which a little bit of a little bit of background out we'll get a backstory couple of different parts of the back story I will take the first part of the backstory which is how this show came to sure go for it in the first place so every spring we make a new record which which we bring out on tour with in the summer and fall and each it's spring we also do a an album fundraiser to run to raise the funds to make that record kickstarter and we have a community the people over the country in the world that participates and you know people choose the level at which they want to participate one and a levels that we've had for the last couple of years which has become one of my absolute favorite favorite levels sport. It's just the best is a level called the gift of music in which somebody who contributes seven hundred fifty dollars. That's what that's what the price tag was this past year anyone who could be seven hundred fifty dollars for this gift of Music Package we will will in their honour gift a concert to a group of people who would not normally be able to be part of the the kind of concert experiences that we give to folks around the world so around the country so the idea. Is You know we would do it for you know last year we did it for a group home of of somebody who lives in a group home and actually the indigent afraid group of group homes so it was you know clients people with varying physical disabilities who are the clients and the group homes and their caregivers offers and their families all came when we got to a concert for them and it was so special rose amazing physical and emotional and mental disabilities kind of represented so it was just as magical metrical medical day so the the intention is to give it to you know a group of people like that so this year room of donation based concert would just not be a thing exactly exactly so this this year we have a member of our community from Canada Wendy Mae who gave us the gift of music contribution this year ear and she asked us to choose the the group that we would be giving this concert too so that's great for us was we can kind of keep our ears. I the ground about like where where my you know this work in with our schedule. Who might you know who. Who can we give this to an earlier in the summer? we ended up at a house concert. at our friends santas house. She's been hosting us as a host for a number of years now and we got talking with Shanteau Dante about this new job that she'd been have that she'd had for the last the previous few months yup just got it and and in talking to her about her job. We realized Oh man this could be a really cool place to give a gift of music concert said. You WANNA share shanties part of it was yes shontae it has as a few months ago being the program director for a place called host H. O. S. T. and what it is. This is a transitional youth shelter transitional shelter Slash Services Facility for an housed youth so youth like when I was a kid we will call them homeless but I've learned that the we've learned that a better term is in house which really kind of makes sense because it's like just because you don't have any indoors place to stay. It doesn't mean the you don't have a home like these people's homes Salem Oregon. It's just they don't have a house to live in in their home right of Salem Oregon right so they're announced and specifically its youth aged eighteen to twenty five and it's just an amazing amazing place. There's a there's a number of different things they have going on. They have a twelve bed ed like many dormitory where people can stay after a trial period of one month for up to a year as they sort of transitioned into kind kind of being more integrated into sort of normative society you know light rain would have a job and a place to live on your own and you know just all that kind of stuff so place where they've got a roof over their head is secure place to sleep every night while they are also accessing services from this center to if they need to work on getting their ged he completed up do that or job training for you know figuring out what kind of a job they want to. They want to apply for figuring out where their next housing housing might be in like how the you know save up money for first month's deposit. Tana anybody airy skills like all all the life life skills that like if you don't have a stable parenting situation in your teenage years you don't get taught right and so many of us just take that for granted right like we just get mentored by our our parents. you know in all this stuff. We need to just a simple stuff like if you get paid twice a month. How do you not blow your paycheck on video view. Games a TV and then not have money for food for a week and a half right just like the stuff that you know to do those of us who taught seems like common sense but for someone who has never been taught this excuse very abstract or been modeled behavior that you know that you can learn from that way too so there's this shelter aspect of it but they also have a walk in center and they get you know dozens of people a day come in for They can make appointments to take a shower do their laundry. They get food a meal hot meal counseling so that people can talk to them about what where they're at and what they need and see if there's any like other services can look them in too yeah yeah we met one woman who's been working there for seventeen years one of the staff people and she mentioned to us that she every once in a while someone who was was her client you know years and years and years ago will come will pop in because it's been in the same location for seventeen years. An old client will pop in and say hi and these are people who who are now living successful lives. They've got families. They've got you know they're they're. They're they're doing well and they you know credit at the time in this transitional place for having given them the leg up to form those successful lives. You know it was just Sunni deal yeah so so yesterday. wh- we saw earlier this summer we learn about what she was doing at the center. We're like well. Maybe this we we asked her. Would this would a concert experience like this. Do you think be beneficial to slash you know received by the population of people that you serve and she jumped on it. She was like yes absolutely we would love this right and after after after she had hosted the show like that evening so she had seen the show yeah exactly and so we've been planning this with her for months and we showed up and so. I have to say it would before we arrived. You know not knowing knowing just just from having heard what the center is all about. I knew I thought I knew what what happened. What happens there you know and I think I started to think it's myself. Oh Gosh is this you know is what I have to offer really going to be applicable to relevant relevant anyway. You know how I started really question doubt myself and I realized you know in in some of those self-doubt moments that like that is something that happens when we enter into something thing this unknown previously in an unknown situations easy. You just say clearly not easy but when we're entering a previously unknown type of situation sure her bass for me like when the vulnerability feeling kind of kicks in and known like well. Maybe I is what I offer to be you know and and I started to think well should i. Maybe like do a truncated version of the show should I you know I wasn't sure if you should scale it back. It's really it's really touching you all like anytime uh-huh Shannon's in a situation where she's feeling insecure. First instinct is maybe I should cut the show well sweet. I guess there's never cut the show I don't know if and if the description of sweet that's not it's not sweet. It's just it's it's my self doubt and then there's nothing sweet about that you know. I suppose that's it's. It is my my humility about. It's touching to me okay well. I appreciate that but you know I had I I realized as we were approaching the actual concert like okay you know I'm not sure how it's going to be you know and they'd set out like you know twenty or so chairs and by the time concert time started you know so there were probably six clients. Maybe four or five staff people who hung out what's really intimate group. Yeah and there were more kids apparently early sitting on the patio outside listening who didn't feel comfortable being in side in that structure of environment that many people which again like ten people will in a space that could hold forty. You know what I mean right but I I get it. You know like if environment feels overwhelming overwhelming absolutely and we spend some time hi before concert time getting to know students they showed up at three thirty roughly and we have a half an hour to kind of like hanging clients. I said students science because they're yeah exactly. Sorry yeah totally so we we hung out. got to know them many of them most of them introduced. US introduce themselves to us with their street names. Yes I took me off guard. I've not I've not had experience living on the street so I I that was like something I had to process in in real time like a fanciful nickname. Oh yeah like it makes sense that you know if you're if you're living living in a vulnerable type situation that you would protect your self a little bit with check your privacy however you can absolutely true so and they were all very people who interacted with very friendly and you know being jokesters each other and a little bit with us but there were. Oh worm there were welcoming and then we sat down to do showtime and I start performing and the room went quiet. They just pin drop quiet and somewhere in there. I made the decision to just give one hundred ten percent of what I am able to give you know and not hold back in any other ways that myself dot was telling me to and again you know like uh-huh that self-doubt thing can creep up anywhere at any time so it's not like it only happens in situations like this it can happen in someone's living room and does yeah and I often have to make the choice like a conscious choice. Okay Shannon. You're here to give of yourself and what you've prepared now. Sit Down and do it and don't hold back you know and so somewhere in there that we did that and Tang. These people really received us in a really open hearted way I. I think that there was part of me especially as as we were talking before the show about like asking them and what kind of music do you like to listen to and Mike. What are they going to think about a middle aged woman sitting by the piano singing songs about feelings. Are they. GonNa receive this and it's so interesting because I had that same sort of wonder too late. You know beforehand like house is going to relate. I figured it wouldn't someway but I wasn't quite sure how but like as I was listening to you perform the show in real time and do my thing too it also like listening to the words as they came out of your mouth and realtime whole different contexts. Oh yeah just like sitting getting in that room with those kids. It was like oh my gosh. This feels so relevant yeah so much of it felt. I mean specifically relevant like I was because I'm super super empathetic. I always when I'm in a group of people doing what I do for the show which is shaped the sound shaped the experience therefore the people are having in the room and I can really shade it in a bunch of different different ways to share. If you're me you can shape a sonic experience in a number of different ways and you're an audio manipulated audio manipulate and so I I have to be really really empathetic and so a skill that I have developed around. This is really to be so intentional about reaching out with my little antennae and feeling appealing. What is the energy in the room moment to moment. What do people need where people at how can I better connect Shannon's experience with the experience that they're having in this moment yeah you know and what I was picking up on just imagining trying to put myself in their shoes. That's what I always try to do in a crowd like put myself in the shoes of the crowd and like who are these people on what they need and how can I best help them with that you know and there seemed just in that moment to me to be so many things that you were saying that. I thought I thought this was a show about how you know optimism or maybe a metaphorical way. This is the show about ideas from you. Know the new deal or something like that. Take a metaphorical layer there but this somebody there's so much of this show is like this is a show about how in having how you overcome homelessness like so much of what you're seeing it just felt like it was specifically in that moment applicable in a way which is very interesting to me. Yeah I found myself you know when I was talking. There's a song on the new record called crushed which is a song that that I wrote based on just notes I jotted down on my phone when I was having a nasty internal battle with with a feeling of scarcity Yup Yup and I introduce that song by talking about that moment and and what it feels like for me when I'm dealing with with scarcity with a feeling of scarcity and sharing that story I'm like I have never experienced scarcity in a real way right like these people in this room have experienced scarcity in their lives. Yes you know they are currently living in a dorm or on Rosary on the street yeah like they. They have come from this from the street. Even if they're living in the dorm they have lived on the street and that's certainly has not been part of my experience and you know to to he's singing. Those words are saying those words with that. Lens in front of me. My face was just I was pretty profound and you know. Put your money where your mouth is kind of moment. You Know WanNa sing about scarcity in front of these kids. Well you better fricken. Put Your heart into yeah. Exactly you know you cannot bullshit scarcity to a roomful of homeless youth right right and so you know and there was a part of me that actually was feeling right before that moment like do I what white eight to I have to talk about this issue in front of this group of people you know there was a part of me that in in real time was having this debate within myself south and then it occurred to me as I was performing it so the song crashed in this show we transition from crushed into a song from a few records ago uh-huh called slowly break which is ultimately a song about the first bulk the song is about the idea that that our hearts break slowly over time via just the life pounding hounding us over and over hopes being dashed over and over going about doing what we just doing the routine and not finding joy in anymore more. That's how our hearts slow thick with unhealthy behavior patterns and attachments on that too. Yes life can grind you down yeah the very end of the song it it transforms into this moment of then. I remember that I have everything I need within me and I can take a breath and let it go and redemptive moment redemptive moment so at that moment in that song I every single night on tour. I make I make an intention an intentional act of trying to make eye contact with as many audience members as we'll do that with me you just look you look over every single person in the space as I'm delivering that last redemptive moment of that song right and having gone through this this whole thing and like you know. Do I have the right to talk about. Scarcity with this group of people will and okay. I'm doing it and giving it all here. We go pouring it all out. I get that last verse of that last that Song that set and I start looking around. It's the first time I've made eye contact with these with these folks you know span of Tucson whole songs right and as I'm going from face to face every single one of with them was looking intently back at me with an overwhelming amount of openness nece to what it was that I was offering to them. Yeah not a stitch of defensiveness for for callousness Orlic street hardened like emotional armor and it was all I could do to just not burst into tears at that moment a saw before me these faces of people who forever they have every reason to not trust the world not trust the people that cross their paths is because especially adults yet where the age of the parents who rejected them yeah and we should talk about that as we learned over the course of the day a lot of sort of some the back stories of some of these young people yeah I and so I was kinda shocked like almost everybody we met their story was that and it was the same story with a bunch of different shapes taken yeah that they to a person everyone but one that I talked about this was gay or bi or Trans and had been kicked out of their home typically in a violent and abrupt fashion yeah by apparent who wouldn't accept them when they realize what their kid was. enemy in some of these stories were shocking this one kid was sharing with me how his when when he came out as Bi to his parents his dad went and got a twelve gauge a cockpit put it in his face and said get Outta my house right now. I'm blowing your head off right and like I mean not like you've got thirty minutes. Pack a bag like Louis from from there to the street in in fifteen seconds and that's it and now you're homeless right there was this other Kid who was showing me this little slight guy showing me had multiple bullet wounds healed up and I and and multiple stab wounds including one in his chest. stab wounds just barely missed his heart which is why he thinks now he has some heart problems not that he's received a bunch of adequate healthcare but that's his like self-assessment right and it was the same kind of thing. I mean he he was on the street after coming out as by to his family and got taken in by an older person to him you know someone I think in their thirties who started injecting him with heroin while he was asleep conventionally found out in a in an effort to get him addicted to to make him more pliable apparently just like super manipulative in really devious actual ways just just insane exploitation behavior. We met a young on a trans woman. who came out to her family trans and again was it was taking the league at the F. Out of my house was driven by her uncle from this rural town outside of Salem where they live to to to Salem and dropped off at a men's shelter. I guess they just like founded on Google or something. You know what I mean. It wasn't like where's a good place for a young. Trans woman was like here. Here's a men's shelter alter right so it's just like a bunch of the way she characterized it was it was me. I walk into this room. Full of a bunch of fifty year old alcoholic man not exactly exactly the safest feeling environment for like a seventeen year old very tiny very petite trans woman who's clearly clearly still existing in the mail container. She was born in you know which is not a safe way to move through the world for most transpeople anyway you know moving to the world is a trans. This person is fraught under the best of circumstances and it's like the worst of circumstances. I I was really struck. I know that I've heard stories about how a lot of an house youth the Lacob a very large percentage of the une house population are people who are Lgbtq who have been rejected by their families and this is why they are living on the streets yeah I think I was not prepared for the personal stories of of the vast majority of people we encountered. They're yesterday and it's really easy for those of us. Who've not had that experience of of being without a home without a house you know to it's easy. It's really easy to make assumptions about what that population is like. I mentioned to somebody a couple of weeks ago that we were going to be doing this concert with you know the Center for announced youth describing what kind of services the center provides for these people and the comment back from this person. I was telling this to was we'll. Do they have jobs. I'm like okay. We're just missing a whole lot of layers here of understanding and compassion like like an Arrow pointed that comment was the of the subtext was the reason they don't have homes is a lack of personal responsibility exactly. Can we just stop with all of that like mm-hmm. I goddamn baby boomers bootstraps GONNA. Just you know my heart breaks. I and I want to scream all at the same time. You know for those of us who have not been in that position. You know what maybe just. Let's shut our mouths until until we have gained a little bit more understanding about what people have been through an are going through yeah in the world because you know I I like to I think that I I like to think that I I try to be that kind of open minded open hearted person and seeking understanding I and even I was taken aback by the the experience that we had yesterday and and where these where these folks have come from in their lives and how they've ended up in this yeah I know I think it's probably ease. It's easy for us. Also ah to caricature populations that we don't know a lot and a hands on way like in in sympathetic and empathetic ways also trying didn't give him almost. I was GONNA say too much better for the but that's not what I'm trying. That's not the right way to say. I'm I'm. I'm thinking this through in real time okay but like I kind of in my mind I think had imagined that there would be more pathos in the room that it would be a sad experience somehow that they would just be this this bottomless well of need every single person and well absolutely these kids do have so many critical needs yeah also still kids there was so much joy in that. Gosh L. so much youthful energy and creativity and silliness like that doesn't doc in a person just because they're also an incredibly need in their life. They're still just being a human being in the world. They're still just being the person they are. It's just that they're doing so under. You're so much more of a burden you now but it doesn't stop you from being the person you are right right and from and from and from being able to be a person who can experience joy and and love and connection with other humid midst. I think that was probably the one of the most profound experiences of yesterday for me was in in those moments where I got to share that like intentional contact with everybody in the room and then in the hugs that every single one of them gave us afterwards leaving. I mean meaningful deep hugs. Sir Not clinging any clingy needy hugs snow just like connective connective what I what I I was not expecting acting to experience a group of people for whom the world to whom the mets Amos redway. It's okay okay. The world is treated them horribly and yet to a person in each their own way. They had an open heart to the world ruled that I wasn't expecting yeah. I saw them each able to receive the love that they deserve like they still they still they have not yet closed themselves up with an understanding a misunderstanding they they are somehow not deserving of love they were able to receive it and can. I just say that I've been in living rooms with grown ass this adults on this tour that don't have that kind of openness in their lives so sure that that have closed themselves up. You know I don't know saying we've been through through living rooms with like everybody's like that but we encounter adults or all the time. ABSOLU- have had way more advantages than these kids have had in their lives uh and yet have gotten themselves to a place of belief that they don't deserve connection or they don't deserve or they're or they're scared to death of it do do and aren't open to it. These kids aren't these kids aren't they're. They're they're ready for the ready for love and possibility in their life and it was frigate inspiring to be there with them. Yeah really was anything else you. WanNa say about yesterday. Well actually yeah because this is going going to err on Wednesday and and this thing that we're doing it might still be going on an cool so another feature of this this transitional sessional youth center host is that they they have a music room they have they had there's an extra room in the building in this little building in that they have dedicated to be the music room and I mean it's like you know eight by twelve with a weird angle bitten off it's just like the weird odd and end room and it's a music room and they have a bunch of donated aided like a few acoustic. Guitars Electric Guitar Amplifier Keyboard a decent keyboard in in fact a microphone Kerr phone. There's there's stuff their sheet music all this stuff and there was just. W- there's a young man in particular right now and I know that there have been others in the past because this this building's been there for a long time several of the people we encountered yesterday our musical in some way yes that's true. There's there was a number of them. There who are musical. They've got beautiful. are are the Trans girl that we met. She plays piano beautifully trained another young man he was. There has a beautiful singing voice. Yeah there was this one man young man particular who wants to be a music producer right. That's what he wants to do and he doesn't have anything to produce music on but he has all these the ideas and he was showing you like a legal pad with pages and pages and pages of handwritten notes not just of lyrics but also like separated out into different groupings like like these ones would be panned these ones we'd be in the left side of the headphones and these ones will be on the right side ahead because it's one of the voice of the consciousness one's voice the subconscious and and all the music would be right up to center as a way of grounding these two experiences like you had all these thoughts written down on paper because he has no way of fixing them in any kind of tangible will formally he doesn't to record that. There's no recording equipment. They're right and so we got ninety S so we got this idea because that's what I do right. I fix fix things in a tangible medium the way you do that these days excuse me with a computer a computer and you have software on it. you know perhaps it's a Mac with garage band. You know it is sort of most barebones but also still really good level and they don't have that and we were talking with Shanti our Buddy the program director about that a- and she says that it's you know it's on their list but I mean there's things on their list lake any organization like this they have more ideas than they have budget always and budget constant issue you know and they're always working to make ends meet and you know and things like this like a computer for the music room. Never necessarily is in the top five most urgent things right right and so so we got this idea. I got this idea like well. What if we could leverage the power of our community. Maybe to buy these kids amuse. He's a computer the computer for their music. You know get them a used AMAC that has garage band on it and get them a recording interface. Pardon the honking someone almost to the side of our car racing. Now we're okay. We're okay don't text and drive drive in Washington d curvy so late last night so last night I put out the word on facebook yeah. This is a dream we had to try to raise money money for music computer and some year for them to be able to make recordings. Yeah I described the situation and I and you know I just made an appeal like hey. Here's here's a here's the situation. Here's something that we feel could really be helpful to them. What do you think you know and as this recording as this recording according is more than funded for the base level of what it could be yeah which is really really really exciting. I had sort of set a provisional barebones. Goal is seven hundred bucks. That's enough to by like a used. I Mak a pretty decent one. Actually I mean granted sixers old but a six year old computer for this kind of thing is fine and you no and and an interface interfaces what you used to get sounds into the computer interface between the the real world the computer world you know percent for sound and so we already have that covered people continue to pitch in and here's the deal. I want to encourage anyone listening to this podcast right now if you would like to be a part heart helping improve the lives of these on house youth in transition through the healing and restored power of music and the unbelievable pride cried and sense of self reliance and satisfaction that you can get from activating a creative idea of yours into the world fixing it in a tangible medium you know I know from my experience with with alcoholism and homelessness that that music is one of the things that saved me that gave me a purpose it gave me something to get up for when things were the Darcus Arcus in the worst and I know that you can have that power and I know that it can have that power for these kids. we already have enough to do the most barebones version of this but you know if we can go bigger. Eric Great Lake if we can put more ram in that computer so it can be more responsive and more engaging to work with wonderful if we can get the version with a bigger monitors that they can see more things things at the same time and it's easier great if we can put a bigger hard drive in it so more people can store their musical ideas on their great bottom line. Is that whatever you if you decide. Did you want to contribute to this project with us. All of it will be going to to this effort of creating music studio for these announced Youth Center. We'll be taking collection for this for another few days. this airs on Wednesday. We'll probably wrap up on Friday. So if you're if you listen to this new want to pitch in do so you Venema me at at Hill Jam H. I. L. L. J. A. M. You can cash abney. My username is dollar. Sign Hill Jam H. I. L. L. J. A. M. You can can pay PAL me. My email address is hill jam at secret agent Audio Dot Com if you need to find another way to get money to you can messenger injure it to me. There's all kinds of ways There's no wrong way to do it. just let me know that you're sending me money for that. and I'll just put it into the pot and whatever the pot ends up being the weekend we're going to buy these kids set up for great. It's all happening. It's happening and those of you who are listening who have already contributed. Thank you so much. It's such a joy way to with you. Get to do this with these kids for these kids. It's pretty awesome. Thank you and thank you to Shans. Hey for welcoming us is to host and to her whole staff. That was just you were also remarkably warm welcoming and the work that you're doing there is clearly just of such great value. These are saints Amman us and S- thank you for for what will you do dedicating your life doing everyday everyday. Thank you Wendy Mae who funded this gift of music and really opened up this whole possibility to all of us and you know. Oh kind of overarching thank you to our community. you all just astound me on a regular basis. I with how you open your parts and you open your lives to others to us. people in your community folks that you don't know I A and really glad to walking this planet at the same time as you all very very very lucky with that episode passers. You'll sign off for the day. I don't want to Brag but we're like twenty five miles away for tastic Gosh. I have news for you that you're GONNA have to make a piece me before I get there. I'm honestly shocked to go this far relief miracle well. Thank you so much for spending the last hour or so with us. It's been in just a joy to get to to share our experiences with you. if you have thoughts about any of this stuff if you are a part of our misfit stars supporting according member group on Facebook we would love to hear from you. if you're not you could rectify that by going to misfit stars dot com slash join who takes like a forty five sixty seconds tops you can sign up you can become a supporting number. Basically here's the deal. If you like what we're doing in the world and you would like us to have five of your dollars per months to do a a little bit more of it than this the way that you can just sort of give us that support on an ongoing basis so thank you to those of you decide that you want to do that and listeners thank you so much for giving us figures for a little while we will be back next week with another episode which we may record into Canada as possible. Abyan International Episode Road Wants Misfits Without Borders a catchy so until then you I'll take good care of yourself and good care Arab each other and we will see you next week can't wait tightly then love. You guys bye bye.

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