Ora Nadrick -- founder and president of the Institute for Transformational Thinking
Hi, everyone. This is Dr Carson, welcome to living regret free a program that shows you how to live a better and more joyful life. As an added bonus. I invite you to listen to an introduction to my mindset matters program, which ties into this sub. Well, go to WWW dot SOB, mindset dot com, it's free. And I know you will enjoy it if you'd like to contact me personally drop me a line at Gail Carson thirteen at g mail dot com. Or go to my website, WWW dot spunky old broad dot com and sign up for my weekly newsletter. Hi, everybody. This is doctor Gail Carson. And you know that we are talking about living regret free today. But I'd like to offer you an invitation to have a private consultation with me if you would like, and if you go to spunky old brawd dot com and sign into my contact page there and request a conversation with me, we will do that. No obligation just to getting to know you a little bit. And you getting no me. So I will forward to it. However, I have a great guest today, and she is aura niche. She is founder and president of the institute for transformational thinking and author of live true, a mindfulness guy authenticity. She's a certified life coach a mindfulness teacher. And she specializes in transformation thinking, self-discovery and mentoring new coaches as they develop their careers. Well, first of all welcome or how are you today? Hi gail. Thank you so much for having me. I'm wonderful. Great. Well, you know, the big buzzword now is transforming and transformational everything today is about being a transform Asian a leader or leave living a trimming formed life. So why do you think right now that you're? Message of living authentically, you know, especially now for the times, we're in is so important. Well, I think it's what you just said. I think the times that we're in you know, when we start to hear things like fake news, and people are really at a loss to know. What is real? What is not? What is you know, social media interpretation and people feel blitz creed. With just way too much. Do you know, it's it's just overwhelm and many people not only feel bombarded stressed confused. But they actually don't really know how to discern or delineate between what is real. And what is not? That's why I feel it starts with us. We need to know, what feels real and authentic to us. And are we living our lives that way? Because if we are and we're clear about who we are. And what we believe is true. It's going to help us be able to discern it outside of ourselves. Well, that is so true. And you're right on about. All the mixed messages. We get as a matter of fact, I was I don't know. I was just on not even on a, you know, anybody's website. It was just on. I don't even know where I was on the internet, and I saw the same article four or five times with four or five different celebrities, headlining it. And of course, I'm sure there weren't any of them that were endorsing this. But because it kept changing. So it's true. I mean, you really think that something is real. And it isn't so yeah. Yeah. You wanted to say Samak, and here's what came to mind Gail when you were saying that it's interesting. You know what I call him? I first book says who automatic thoughts thoughts that pop up in her mind, very instantaneously. And it made me think of when we were little I don't know if you remember this or you played it remember there was a game called telephone. And you would you would sit in a circle and. You would whisper something in someone's ear like a sentence. It could be a prompt. It could be lyrics to a song. And by the time. It went around to the last person. It had changed. I do remember that. I didn't know the name of it. I didn't know I believe it was called telephone. It could be called something else. But to me, and the mind you I we played that as children, and what was really the goal of the game was to make sure that you kept. What was said to you intact. Yeah. It was all about on. I mean, you were passing the sentence along you were reiterating. What was whispered in your ear? But really what came down the pike was very different more often than not. I think that's a great metaphor that by the time. Things are translated interpreted weighed in on in specially today because we are bartended. It's just too much too much. Yeah. You know, it's interesting. And then you talk about another buzzword of today, which is mindfulness. And I remember meeting someone gosh, maybe six seven years ago now, and she was all about mindfulness, and she was about bringing mindfulness into companies. And I thought oh man she is going to starve to death because they don't want to hear it. And yet today she is going strong. So what made you so passionate about the power? Of mindfulness and out of this come to you. Well, you know, I my trajectory my path, you know, very psycho spiritual for very long time. I've studied many teachings many modalities, many techniques technologies, etc. Because I've been on the path of you know, you said that we're transformation self realization, self actualization. You know, you know, that old quote knows I self, you know, I've been very interested in the workings of the mind, and for me in particular, my story stems from having a sister that was mentally ill, and which was very devastating and she's no longer with us. She was very very special soul. But, you know, her breakdown her mental breakdown really impacted me, and it really just changed my whole world around if you will so it so I went on a deep deep search for that meaning mindfulness with. That I discovered along the way and once I became aware of it. And also as a meditative because I started meditating young, you know, to sort of, you know, understand how to calm the mind down how to head observe it. And the mill thousands of thoughts we think in in that head of ours. When I came upon mindfulness, it just immediately resonated for me because it really was a way in which we could observe ourselves. And this isn't just about sitting on a meditation pillow or yoga mat where you sit for twenty minutes, and quiet the mind. This is about all the waking moments of our live and mindfulness for me was such a powerful, you know, understanding of the self and I became a certified mindfulness teacher in a mindfulness meditation teacher, and my work really is devoted to that. And it's an integral part of all of the work that I do it was part of my first book says who which was having. Mindful awareness of the thoughts that we have. And with that mindful awareness, we can then change them. And that's how I created the says who method and now my new book live true, a mindfulness guy too often Tissot is really all about the understanding of who we are. You know, it's it's really getting to know ourselves better. I think it's really important to do. So so that we can be clear and healthy and wholesome and have healthy thinking habits, which is something I go in, you know, deeply into both books. Well, it's interesting. I have to confess I am not a meditative. I have tried. I've tried but my mind is just going all the time. And so, you know, when I sit there, and I I tried to empty my mind. You know, then I fall. Then I got this shows, you how relaxed your you get, you know. And then of course, you know, I just did a workshop at one four four multi versity in Scotts valley in northern California called mine mood and happiness with Dr Ron Alexander. And a woman came up to me because we were teaching meditation that was part of the workshop, and she said that very thing. She says, you know, I meditate a lot, but then I start to fall asleep. How can I stop that? And then that takes you to a whole other level of being aware of when you start to be tired. So that you can bring your focus and awareness to that. Like, oh, I'm about to fall asleep. And then you become aware of how not to do that. So and by the way, you not being a meditation imitator, and being honest that I think is great. There are millions of people who feel like you do they don't meditate. They don't know how to meditate they don't wanna meditate. But I really encourage taking time in are very very busy days. Even if you're. Someone who doesn't wanna meditate and that's perfectly. Okay. No judgment. But try and sit for at least, you know, I encourage like ten minutes just just sit quietly somewhere. Even if you're looking at the out the window and seeing, you know, the the leaves on a tree moving or, you know, a sunbeam coming through your window or anything that you can stop the business. We we need to really incorporate that enjoy day somehow, I agree with you. I think that's important. And of course, when I look out my window. All I see is water and boats, but I will fight. I tell pretty Gail it is it is. And then of course, when I fit my catch come on my lap. And then I love petting them. And that's very relaxing to me. But you know, you also talked about training yourself to become fully present. And I know that there's a lot talking about just the power. Power of now, you know, the power of being right in the moment. And right full have a really difficult time with that. And you know, that's well, it doesn't matter. What happened in the past? We don't know what the future is the only thing we can control is right now. So how do you tell people? How do you train them to become more fully present? Well, I talk a lot about that in in live true. And I say that we oftentimes spent more time than not in two timeframes that don't exist. We go back to the past which is already come and gone. And sometimes we lament what we wish we did differently or it happened different y'all. I think we ought to Louis we do, and that's a total waste of time and mind, you this is very different than reminiscent. Or you know, remembering fond memories, that's not what I'm talking about. Here. I'm talking about how we go back into the past. And we can stay on what I call the hamster wheel. And we we really do spend an inordinate amount of time there or we are thinking about the future, which isn't even here yet and our mind gets occupied with the what if what you know, what could happen. What might happen and it creates worry and concern? And exactly so where we. The least amount of time isn't the president. I mean, it's just amazing to me that we try to wiggle out of the moments of our lives, and what's really sad. If you will about that that life moves very quickly. And before we know we've wasted a lot of time. And you don't want to be taking your last breath. Wishing you hadn't done that. Do you know? So that's the power of mindfulness is really to bring that awareness to people. And basically say look the moments of your life are really important. And if you value them, you're not gonna want to hurry them along now that can be easier said than done. So your question. How do you do that well, mindfulness which its definition definition is being in the present moment with total awareness and to add to that is with acceptance non judgment, and I what I like to call the cherry on top with self love. And so if for when you're in a moment you and I are. Talking. We're engaged in this conversation. I know I certainly am. I'm not thinking about what I'm going to have for lunch or dinner. And I'm not thinking about what happened yesterday. I'm really here. I'm present. I'm in this conversation because I want to be you know, you have to wanna be present. You have to one of value. What you're doing enough to also what I call show up for it like a hundred percent. So this takes training this takes practice, and you know, not to go be hard on yourself. But like if when we're starting to get out of a moment, how often do we listen to people, and our mind starts to wander, and what I say is the minute you start to see yourself thinking about other things no to know to self. And I I have a lot of note to self in live true. Oh, my mind is wandering let me bring focus in awareness back to this moment. So that I can really listen to this person who's talking to me and really. Give them my undivided attention, which really shows that I'm respectful of their time. You know, these are the act of mindfulness, which is really an essence being thoughtful person to ourselves to others. So. How is the steps of? I'm aware that my mind is wandering let me bring my focus in awareness back to the moment, which is really the essence of meditation that when your mind starts to wander you bring it back to the breath. And it's helped the mind to be disciplined, really. But it does take that it does take discipline. And it does take that ability to to get started like that. And but it's a challenge it's a challenge for a lot of people. And but I think it's a necessary challenge. And and you also talk about. The judgmental inner voice. And that's when I shoulda coulda woulda comes in. And we always say, and that I guess it goes back to what you were saying about, you know, not not remembering things that in a good way. But lamenting what we have not done that we wanted to do. So how do we get away from a judgmental inner voice? I mean, I would assume a lot of it comes from first of all our upbringing, and what we were radio than being told whether we did things. Well, are we didn't do things. Well, and whether we were smart or whether we were dumb and stupid. So how how do you get away from that? It's so true. And I talk about that a lot in says who my first book because so much of what was told to us in childhood. We bring into adulthood, do you know? And my second question of a says who method is have I heard someone say this thought before because a lot of the people that I've worked with will connect to the first. Time. They heard something in childhood when they were told they were stupid, they told they were, you know, absent minded, they told they were told they weren't going to be good at sports or they weren't pretty enough or they weren't thin enough. And unless you really work through that you're going to carry those what they become our core. Believe into adulthood. So we all have the inner critic. It's there it's real we all have negative thoughts. You know, my teachings are not about the fact that oh, let's just positive thoughts all the time positive positive positive, and we're never going to think negative thought again, that's not real. But we need to know how to work with it. And we need to know how to you know, to use your your first word is those those those op pop words today transformation. How do we transform negative thoughts into positive thoughts? Again, it's being aware of when that negative thought comes up and to what I offer up and says who is a a technique called release. And replace if you just. Released negative thought and replaced it with its positive counterpart. You're starting to build a a healthy new healthy thinking habit, you know, which bills new neural pathways with all the neuroscience that they're discovering and how we literally can change our brain. It's fascinating. So what do we do? We take these little steps we start to be again mindful of when we begin to tell ourselves I'm stupid. I'm unlovable. I'm unworthy. No one's gonna love me. And never going to get that job. I want on and on and on. And by the way, what I say in live true is substitute. The inner critic with a constructive advisor. Do you know we can tell ourselves how to do things differently? But let's be constructive about it. Let's not throw ourselves under the bus. Let's not sabotage ourselves. Let's not say these horrible things stores of what good is it. It doesn't help us. It just makes us feel worse about ourselves. So. Even these little beginning steps. And this is really what it's about Gail. You know, we all can say, oh, that's so hard. Oh, that's so challenging oh. That's never going to change. But I can tell you with out any doubt that if you stick to this, and you practice the skill sets daily, you will see a change in the way, you think. Well, I totally agree with you. I happen to be, you know, a very I happen to be a very positive thinker. Everybody that listens to me knows that. But it's you know, it is kind of a difficult when you've been raised a certain way, I was really really fortunate. My my parents were it was amazing people really were amazed. They were they let me get away with things that most parents would not let them get away with and gave me a structure that was still strict I remember at the age of thirteen I was coloring. My hair and everybody said, oh, how can you let her do that? And my mother said, well, this should be the worst thing. She does. And it's fine. You know, and it was and you know, I always kind of was out front with everything that I did. I was a tomboy and just lots of things that I did. And she said, well, that's okay. But when it came down to a how I answered the phone or the fact that I had to be nice to people or that. I I had to say thank you, and excuse me, those were thinks she was serious about. But the other things she said, look, you're you, you know, or like all my friends were if they got a good grade, they got money, and my mother said, no, you don't get money. You've got the brains, and you come up with a good grades. You know? So it was it was just a different kind of parenting and it worked really well for me. And she just, you know, the a lot of things as I say that most parents would be upset with. She just said, no, that's hard. She's expressing herself. And that's okay. So it was very very you're very you're very fortunate. Because what I what I hearing the way you described the way your mother brought you up which I think was very balanced in that. She let you be you, which is really a lot of what I talk about live true about the authentic self. And I think that's a great way for us to bring up our children, and I try to implement that myself. I'm a mother two sons. And I always say, I let my children let me know who they are. I don't tell them who they are. Yeah. Yeah. It really is a long with those disciplinarian. You know, what I wanted to say is whether it's rules or vice again about how to be a conscious kind person, which it sounds like she was teaching you that? But also letting you be who you are and expressing yourself. And that's to me a very important way to bring up our children because you know. More often than not we see these very, you know, sad situations of people that talk about that in adulthood that. My parents wanted me to be what they wanted me to be. They didn't accept me for who. I was. Yeah. People like that. She was not always happy with my choices. You know? I mean in the late fifties. I moved away from home. You know, I finished college in five days later, I was in Miami. And she wasn't thrilled about that. But I had always been told, you know, when you finish college you have to have a job. And so this is where I wanted to live. And this is what I wanted to do. So you know, she wasn't thrilled about that. And I remember my my dad making or my mom somebody made reservations or something on a on a train. And I said I am not taking two days to get to Florida. I said I'm going on a plane, and I had saved up some money, you know, and I got me my plane reservation in down I game. But let's tell our people at fell our audience how to find you up. So where can they go to find you what your website and very easy? Yes, go I was gonna say an where can they buy your books? And if there's something you want to give away to our audience. We're certainly open to that. Well, first of all born Adrian, which is by name or a NASD R. I C H is the my social media handles across the board. That's how you can access my website. You know, all the social media, you know, Twitter Instagram linked in Facebook on all of it. So it's my name again or an age rich and as far as getting my ebook. I'm on all the book outlets, Amazon Barnes and noble. You know, bookstores carry me, I don't know where people live and what's local to them, which can be ordered. But I find the fastest way to get my book, really is Amazon and or Barnes and noble. You can get my book in like two days later, I think so that's pretty fast. And you know, Email me, you know, I give away as a matter. It's something that we're working on right now. I did thirty audio meditations. Because I've thirty meditations in live true. And there's so beautiful. And now, they're on the the there on the music platforms like I tunes and Spotify and Pandora, and you know, if somebody wants them, they can reach out to me, and I I will give them access to it for free. Even though you can go on those music sites. They're just like I said, so lovely we've just completed them, and they're absolutely beautiful very calming very soothing. I might add it's to music, and it's a beautiful visuals. So I'm more than happy to offer those up to two people fantastic. So again, if you want to find aura, again, it's not complicated or O R, a Natick N A D R, H dot com. And she's that way across Twitter and Facebook and Instagram and so forth. So you can find her anywhere and. You can find her books on Amazon or Barnes and noble or wherever you want to get them or at her website as well. And I want to remind everybody that you can go to my website spunky, oh broad dot com. And go to the contact page. Let me know you'd like to have a little conversation with me, and there's no obligation. I would love to be able to do that for you. And I will be happy to get in touch with you or this has been absolutely terrific. I think that people really need to understand what mindfulness is I think people need to be open and willing to transformation, and I think that absolutely they have to be much more present. You know, let's not itself hard so complicated in our world today to not be concerned with what was and what will be but just to concentrate on. What is we just be so much stronger? So much happier. So I really think. Yeah, you're providing a really well needed service. And I can't I can't stress that enough because people need people like you. You know, I'm very linear, and very this is the way you gotta do it, you know, very linear, but I got to. But that's good to Gail. You know, we need all of that. Yeah. But we really need you to. So I wanna thank all so much for being with us today. I know our audience, and our listeners really got a lot out of it. And I wish you only the best in the future. Thank you so much guilt for having me. I so enjoyed it. Thanks for listening. And I hope you enjoy today's show. I choose my guest carefully. So if you have someone you'd like me to interview, please drop me a line at Gail Carson thirteen at Jamal dot com. In the meantime checkout. My intro program, mindset matters at WWW dot SOB, mindset dot com. See you next week.