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What Are Coronavirus Parties, And Why Werent We Invited?


from the onion public radio. I'M LESLIE PRICE. And this is the topical as an audio journalists. Nothing fills me with joy more than filling with dread and despair. Let's get this party started here. Today's top story. President trump is ordering the CDC to research his investment portfolio for a potential corona virus cures after touting the Anti Malaria Drug Hydroxy Core Clinton as effective treatment for Covid nineteen trump is now reportedly asking the country's leading public health institute to take another look into whether an hour or two Gulf force could significantly reduce the need for a ventilator trump also added that in order to expedite in process. All further study would take place at the CDC's new state of the art facility facilities inside. The trump international and territorial disputes are escalating today after Taiwan reportedly placed an inflatable water trampoline to the South China Sea. The move comes just days after. Maritime budget cuts forced Indonesia to remove their giant rope swing from the contentious water region opening up the opportunity for Taiwan to make their own recreational advancements however many experts believe Taiwan smooth could be seen as an active aggression and expect China to retaliate with their own fleet upon tune boats. Jetskis and the coming wings. If you live in a state where you're allowed to go outside too bad we've got more news. You need to hear after the break. Sit Down and stay with us. It's a dangerous new trend being attributed to the corona virus pandemic. That's gaining popularity around the country. And no it's not zoom be. Dsm Orgies. Those are safe as long as they're consensual and everyone's having a good time and you're not on mute when you need to say the safe word. Sorry Camille No. These new disturbing trends are so called Corona parties and I'm joined by OPR investigative reporter. Kenneth Neely to tell us a little more about them. Good Morning. Kenneth Hi Leslie. Apparently these parties are held with the explicit intent contract corona virus based on the logic that by participating you can speed up herd immunity to the infectious disease but authorities and medical professionals are calling such events misguided and even irresponsible. Wow and who's having these parties of all kinds of people even friends of mine which makes it all the more curious. Why myself haven't been invited to one yet. I spoke with stephany collar a so-called friend of mine who recently through a Corona Party to see what the experience was like. Oh it was great. We had lots of Barbecue and fun. Little themed cocktails like might tie and Trajkovic Martinez. Oh and there was a dj who is dressed like a doctor. It was so much fun. Sounds like a blast. Yeah so why? Wasn't I invited what? I didn't think he'd want to come well. It's kind of impossible to know that unless you ask right I mean I don't even think I have your number. I only know US remark. And we've really only met each other like twice. We're more like Friends of friends. However further investigation revealed that it was way more than just close friends who were invited to this little get together. I managed to pull up. Stephanie's facebook invited over two hundred of our friends including mark. Were invited to the Saturday Corona Party titled. Get ill and chill with Steph. I mean where does she get off? Kenneth Anything of actual value to add regarding these corona parties. Or did you just bother this woman the whole time? Well yeah I mean no I mean. I learned a lot about the parties all right. How many of these corona parties are happening throughout the country? Well it could be thousands but I wouldn't really know since I'm never invited to any and I learned that they can be really unsafe and not just for the people who get to go. I spoke with epidemiologist. Dr Vance Landon to find out how dangerous even just one party like. This can be viruses expand so a party of this size I imagine has the potential to eventually spread the virus hundreds and hundreds of more people many of whom will become incredibly sick and suffer long term consequences or even die from complications not to mention put further stress on our healthcare system. Right like first of all I wouldn't have even gone but it would have been nice to be invited whatever. It probably wasn't even fun. Well the guests were kind of annoying all the song requests. Wait I mean were you the DJ but from my medical point of these parties should not be happening. Wasn't just inviting close friends. She was totally lying. We'll technically he was hired non-invited still not only. Does this woman barely know you? It's obvious that she doesn't like you and doesn't want to be anywhere near you. Did you ever think that? Maybe that's the reason why she didn't invite you because she hates you. Oh God you're right. I'm so stupid. Why does this always happen to me? Why do I push people away for starters? You have terrible personality. You aren't fun to be around. You probably have corona fires have to talk to all these people enter terrible fate cryer. This was the time we'll be back on. Set the fuck up Kennedy sometimes. I wonder if I'm just wasting my life here. Reciting a bunch of news that you could easily just right for yourself somewhere online but then I remember. The show's not over yet. Here's what else he needs to know today. Amusement parks might be shut down due to the ongoing pandemic. But that's not stopping six flags from doing what they do. Best the Amusement Park Company is reportedly exploring virtual ways to make people feel nauseous. According to the six flags website WanNa be part goers will be able to buy an online pass that will treat them to videos of rotting food and maggots among other disgusting imagery as well as daily email reminders. Have how parks used to smell? All of which six flags is confident. We'll make the whole family queasy. And grub hub is taking extra precautions to make sure their customers stay safe. The food delivery APP will now offer new extra contact lists delivery option where you can instruct drivers to stand outside your window and eat your food order while You Watch. Hub is calling the new option. A Win Win for customers and drivers alike since this is typically. The only way they're drivers can afford to wheat and finally graduation season and a new poll out today is found. Eighty two percent of colleges would like to know why you still haven't framed your diploma. You've worked really hard for it. According to universities that participated in the poll. All of which were beginning to wonder. If you aren't as proud of it as you should be the full findings went on to conclude that you paid enough for the damn thing at least. Koch tape it up on the wall. And that's the topical for today. I'm Leslie Price. If you haven't received your stimulus check yet. That's probably because you haven't subscribed to the topical wherever you get your podcast and if you want to expedite the process you could leave us your direct deposit Info and a review on apple podcast as well and don't forget to tune into tomorrow's episode where we'll have the story of a nurse could where snoopy scrubs and a face mask who clearly thinks this pandemic has just one big job. It's about time these bad apples. Start taking the shit seriously. People are dying God damn now. I'm all worked up again. We'll see you tomorrow.

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