1709: 6 Life Areas Youre Avoiding: And 4 Ways to Face Them Head On by Ingrid Y Helander on Overcoming Avoidance

Automatic TRANSCRIPT

This is optimal living daily episodes seventeen o nine, six life areas. You're avoiding and four ways to face them head on by Ingrid why Allender of Ingrid why Hollander M. F. T. Dot com and just a Malik hope you're having a great weekend if you're listening in real time and welcome back to optimal living daily or the O. L. D. podcast where I read to you from some of the best blog, I can find get permission from mostly covering personal development and minimalism. On this show, we cover a bunch of other topics in the optimal living daily podcast network, which includes four other shows definitely subscribe to those if you like this one. But for now, since you here, let's get right to today's post and start optimizing your life. Six life areas you're avoiding, and for ways to face them head on by Ingrid Y Hollander of Ingrid why Hallander Ellum T. dot com? You might call avoidance being lazy unmotivated, depressed freaked out or disliking conflict. But if you are human, you probably know the warning signs when you start avoiding avoiding can become a way of life. If you're not careful robbing you of time relationship money fun and other pleasures here are few target areas and examples of voidance that I see in my office every day. Work Life. You're successful career requires consistent task completion, and suddenly you are online shopping. Crazy. Physical Health. There are two wasteful hours before you get ready for work and rather than going to the gym you roll over and go back to sleep. Relationship. Small disagreement happens and use sullenly walk away from your partner. Social. A friend's invitation weights in your inbox and you tell yourself you'll think about whether to attend or not later. Spiritual Your Yoga, Mat and journal sit in the corner and you daily pass them by. And? Financial. Six bills said in your mail pile. He said Masai knowing that a simple check could pay them tomorrow. Sound familiar. What's happening when you avoid and what can you do about it? Avoiding is seldom a fully conscious choice. Elizabeth Scott s explains this frustrating tendency. This way quote avoidance coping also known as Avoidance Coping Avoidance Behaviors and escape coping is a maladaptive form of coping that involves changing our behavior to try to avoid thinking or feeling things that are uncomfortable and quote. Basically avoidance is bitch will coping skill aimed at reducing pain that is reinforced each time you do it. Sadly. The more you avoid the parts of your life that feel uncomfortable. The more shame you're likely to feel about those parts of your life to shame intern causes more discomfort and hence more avoidance. If you tend to worry in are easily overwhelmed, it can be significantly difficult to simply face tasks and situations and do the thing before you is not your fault and is not a joking matter. Just do it is a great model for selling shoes, but it's not so easy for anxious people to implement. So. What can you do today to head on face those things in life you tend to avoid and do so without crumbling in a corner later Here four ways to face her avoidance had on. Now and very gently. Number one acknowledge avoidance without beating yourself up. So. Yes. Maybe you don't WanNa talk to your loved one about a particular topic. Perhaps you have not exercised or prayed or meditated in many moons maybe the bills are on the back burner your friends wonder if you don't like them anymore, this happens to the very best of people simply acknowledging own that part of you is avoiding with as much compassion for your human self as possible if you get very upset with yourself or anyone else in this process, stop breathe and offer yourself at least one moment of compassion. Number. To write down everything you imagine you'd like to do if you weren't avoiding. Off of the suggestion for a few reasons, some people feel like they are lazy or. When in reality, they're getting nearly everything done in fine fashion for people who are highly driven or perfectionist, but don't own this about themselves. One way of keeping on task is constantly telling yourself that you are avoiding things for others. There's so much shame beneath the surface. This exercise can help you get a glimpse of hidden pain and allow this part of you to be seen by you. Then you can access more help with a therapist to get feeling better. And finally you may just be so accustomed to avoiding that imagining moving forward in a more confident manner is a wild new concept if soul be much easier to move toward the picture that you create in your mind's eye using all of your senses so play using your imagination. For example, in my fantasy world i. Any bill, write a check and send it off. Take my wife's hand and talk it through when I feel stressed wake after eight hours of sleep hop in my Wesson and head to the gym. Just play with it. The purpose is not to make you feel guilty. This is an exercise to increase your creativity and curiosity. Let your body and mind enjoy the play and possibility of doing everything in a way you would like to do it. You may feel inspired ready to embody what you imagine or maybe the thoughts feel to threatening and cause increased. Shame. Conversely, you discover that you are in reality facing a large portion of life, but you habitually use the mantra that you are avoiding. Just notice and write down. Will you discover? Number three start with a small change in the easiest of the six targets. See found some area of avoidance and you can see how you'd like the situation to feel different. Great. Begin by choosing from your list of avoidance is just one little action. You can take thou fuel really terrific or at least good when it's done, make it one with just enough challenge to pursue but not so much challenge that it is emotionally overwhelming for you. You really want to succeed on the smaller items here. So feel free to break any task down into a smaller portion. Maybe, spend one minute meditating this week rather than entire yoga or meditation session. Perhaps, he do fifty push-ups before work. Instead of going to the gym, you could write your partner, a letter of appreciation or reply to a couple of work emails. A small change is important and totally enough in this situation repeat this change often and celebrate every time you replicate it, remind yourself that you're aiming for cellular change, not an earthquake like shift. Number four respect not only your new behaviors, but the parts of you that have been avoiding for so long. Here's the thing parts of us that avoid are not trying to make life difficult avoidance trying to save your system from pain granted avoiding things and people creates more pain over time. But in the moment, it can feel pretty darn good show respect to the parts of you. That learned way back when that this was a good way to feel better love them and let all of you know that as an adult, you can handle more than you could as a child. When you feel the need to avoid take the time to identify what this feels like in your body or mind. Breathe and offer a pause to your system when you make any tiny progress on what you were formerly avoiding celebrate because celebrate by writing down your calendar with the huge elementary school style star voice recorder accomplishment in your phone memos or call a trusted friend who's on the secret to share your success whatever you do allow yourself to be at least. Okay with what you've done and you can feel genuinely pleased go for it. Avoidance doesn't need to run your life and you don't need a push away or harshly blame yourself when it happens this time took a few gentle steps that move you forward confidently and begin building each new challenge on those. In time you'll see when you truly need a realistic break and take it without avoidance or guilt. Also begin to gain strength and self confidence as you step into the life areas you were once avoiding. Sassou. You just listen to the post titled Six Life Areas You're avoiding and four ways to face them head on by Ingrid White Hollander of Ingrid why Hollander L.. M. F. E. DOT COM. And as your Wifi struggling to keep up with your streaming work gaming video calling and more what about all at once when you're connected to your world by Wifi be shirts the best bring your Wifi up to speed with or be Wifi six from net gear or be Wifi six is best and latest in Wifi covers your entire home with the fastest Wifi for. Uninterrupted. Streaming video calling and working and learning from home on more devices than ever before in any part of the house is WIFI perfectly engineered ready for the best Wifi ever find out what makes net gear. America's number one choice for Wifi at net gear dot com slash best wifi that's net gear dot com slash best Wifi and have that linked in this episode subscription. They get Ingrid. These are great tips for procrastination to which is a common struggle I see from listeners of this show. So take these gestures from England to heart and in many areas of life. I particularly like the journaling idea more. As she says, specifically, writing down everything you imagine you like to do if you weren't avoiding the great tip if you've listened to this show for even a month or anytime. Longer you probably know of mentioned the power of journaling before and so many different. You're only exercises can have long lasting caused impact on your life. So definitely Selena try bullied at that hope your weekend is off to a great start. If you're listening in real time, they were being here listening to me and for subscribing to the show, I'll be back to our reading to you where your optimal life awaits.

Coming up next