The Comparison Trap - Thoughts from Kevin
Welcome to all Kevin Friday where we take the audio from one of our remarkable TV and put it here for you on the podcast. Hope you enjoy them. You can look at the videos all of the past ones at blog dot Kevin. I can vary dot com slash video but for now on with the podcast. Welcome to the remarkable leadership. Podcast we are here each week to help you lead more confidently and make a bigger difference both professionally and personally. This episode is sponsored by thirteen days to remarkable leadership a free leadership video series. Based on Kevin's book. Remarkable leadership sign up by going to remarkable PODCASTS DOT com forward slash. Thirteen days and. Now here's your host Kevin. Hi I'm Kevin I can vary and I'm here to help you reach your potential as a leader and a human being. Welcome to remarkable TV today. We're talking about the comparison trap. Are you ready? Let's get started? We're talking about the comparison trap not the parent trap. But I'm using my parent my father as the example for this episode into set the table for the idea of the comparison track. Now you may or may not know that. I grew up on a farm and my father. I spent all of my time around my dad on the farm and he was tremendously skilled mechanically. He had great hand eye coordination. He had great visualization skills. He had a tremendous set of skills that allowed him to be highly mechanically inclined. He could look at something and see how to fix it. He could hear something and see what was wrong. Long before he picked up a wrench so I grew up with someone who was truly outstanding in these areas. So I grew up thinking that I had zero mechanical aptitude because in comparison to him I did have zero or very very little mechanical aptitude. I had that belief throughout my young life all the way up through high school and all through college all the way up until the time I got married got a job took a bought a house and met my neighbors when I found out that. Wow I have more mechanical ability than I thought. I have a lot more mechanical ability than a lot of people that I am now. Interacting with suddenly what looked like zero aptitude suddenly looks like maybe the seventy fifth percentile of aptitude around mechanical skills and inclination yet. I was comparing myself to my father. Who was maybe at the ninety eight percentile in the skill area? And that is the comparison trap. The trap is comparing our relative weakness to the great strengths or greatest strengths of someone else and when we make that comparison when we fall into that trap some bad things happen for of them specifically and let's talk about them now when we fall into the comparison trap. It saps our self-confidence listen my confidence around mechanical stuff was not high for some conscious and subconscious reasons but the reality is. I didn't have much confidence in my abilities so I didn't want to tackle things because I didn't feel like I'd be successful at them. And of course if data was around I just handed them to dead anyway. Sapped my self-confidence number two the comparison traps saps our energy. We don't have any self confidence and we don't think we could be very good at this. Like where's our energy level really low and so without self confidence and without energy? What action are we gonNA take very little not much motivation to take any action? The comparison trap us to be cynical. Let's the logical advancement of the first two. I could never. There's no chance. Why would I even try? And lastly the comparison trapped leads us to quit whilst the logical progression and no self-confidence I have no energy. I don't think it's possible and so why would I even try? And so we must avoid this trap because the trap comes because of us again comparing our relative weakness to the greatest strengths of someone else my ability to be mechanically inclined as my father was never going to happen but when we solely focus on that thing and say man. I'll never be as good as them. We miss the chance to learn from them. Our job is to avoid the comparison trap and focus on continuing to strengthen both our strengths and our weaknesses if these are our strengths and these are weaknesses. This is what we want to build. On both strengthen both recognize weaknesses recognized drinks work in conjunction to build them together. See Our opportunity. My opportunity to learn from my dad was to learn from him not to try to emulate him or compare myself to him in that particular area because for every area of strength that we see in someone else's I sure wish I was as good as them as that. They've got something that they're thinking. The same thing about u. Our goal is to learn from but not emulate or compare ourselves to others. Beware the comparison trap. Let me close with today's tweet. Comparing your weaknesses to the great strengths of others is a losing endeavor. Strive to learn from not try to emulate others if you like this little story. If you like this idea of the comparison trap we do this every week. Right here you can go back. And binge-watch remarkable levy or. You can make sure that you get every new episode every week and you can subscribe right here on this page to do exactly that. I hope you'll join us whether you do or whether you don't know we'll be back next week. Where another remarkable TV?