From workhouse connect in. Aj Benza. Vein here to be walked on a leash and play really dirty kinky. Sex Tapes is the GUY. Put the COP in the peacock network? Okay Bitch Hey everybody. Aj Benza. Here with fame is bitch. This is your show from Monday April thirteenth twenty twenty. Well listen to say I've been a little down would be an understatement and I don't mean to be You guys put up with enough of me being. We be I'm not going to be weepy here today. So don't worry but it is a special day today. Because April thirteenth is my mom's birthday and this year she would have been a hundred years old born in nineteen twenty. How about that? I just? I can't see her that old Maybe that's one of the only good things by parents who die before their time they. They still look good. You know even though they were of a generation that seemed to age more than we do but they still look good when my mother was lying in her hospice bed and the downstairs guest room of our house. She always like to break my sister's balls and she'd raise one leg up in the air and say look. I still have beautiful legs. And she'd asked my sisters to Stan buyer and then all show their legs and she asked me. Aj Who's got who's got better links. And before I could even answer my sister's would scream. You know you have better legs than we do. Stop you always have better legs and trustee my sister's killers great legs great bodies the whole thing. I don't WANNA sound like trump talking about vodka. You know my mother terrific legs. You talked about legs. Lily benzes legs from what? I've heard people tell me. Her legs terrific. So here's something special. A year ago I read a story I wrote on this podcast about my mother. Way Back in nineteen ninety. I think I wrote a story for Newsday. The paper I work for about how every April thirteenth iced steel daffodils from the elementary school across Crete from our house. And I'm a give her a whole handful then because Stafford those were favorite flower and I would steal them. Obviously I'd cut them down ripping out and I stole them because I was a kid. I didn't have money to buy flowers but after I did it once or twice it. Kind of became the tradition. Even when I did have money it always felt better stealing them from across the street so I stole him every year and I'd give them to her and she buried her face in them and she'd say all these smells so beautiful. I'd say my daffodils don't have the smell and she'd say bullshit these data those have a wonderful smell so you could see. I stole and my mother lied. Okay you got a problem with that but this little guest room that we're staying in right now. This is this AIRBNB. I try not to complain about it because it's a place to stay and right now. The world's fucking on edge and it's not an easy time to find a place but all this shit going on not to mention me have my income cut in half and my wife not being able to work as a nanny anyhow. Now that the rain has stopped I finally went to sit outside on this nice patio. We got back here and I saw some daffodils coming up. How about that and with all this shit? That's gone on lately. You know seeing a little daffodils sprouting up makes me makes me think my mother is maybe looking down on me. And everything's GonNa be all right. You know how else would you take that sign and lost in all my initial misery when when my little dog lily died? I didn't even bother to think what her April death met and it turns out lily which is also my mother's name. Lily died four years to the day. Our last pet die we had a rabbit named missy and missy died on that same day for years earlier but now I'm starting to believe or at least hope that my little dog died. Because maybe she wanted to make room for more wonderful things in my life. A lot of you listened for a few years know that when I lost my Yorkie Chancery on that airplane back in two thousand three me and my wife who was then my girlfriend. We were so distraught. We went back to my apartment laid in bed for two days. All we did was cry and drink and screw. That's it and then she had to go to Oregon to see her mom and pick up her son. We didn't see each other again for like a month and a half and we did the math and it turns out that when she got pregnant with Roxy Days she have conceived. Our daughter was the two days we lay in bed grieving over treasury so as I said in the past I always felt chancery knew that daddy was about to embark on starting a family and I think he felt after ten good years. It was time for him to move on. I know there's no science to it but it sure it sure works to make me feel better. But that's why I think lily leaving that there's maybe a reason to. It may take a while to know but we'll figure it out and my crazy for thinking our dogs you know no things about us on some spiritual level. I don't think I am so the Daffodil I saw really made me feel even extra positive because signs are everything to me. My mother usually sends me songs at crucial moments in my life. I've told you about those moments. I told you about being in Cuba with no money at all. We ran out of money. We had so much fun spending it and we had to get to the airport and fly home. We had no money for food. And we're sitting there in Havana. Vieja and We were laughing about having no money. You know. We couldn't rob a store. What can we do and all of a sudden a one man band some guy symbols on his fucking knees or harmonica around his head and a good tar and you name. It comes down the street and he starts playing a song. I just called to say I love you which is a song that when my father was dying in bed in nineteen eighty five my mother would call him and seeing to him because that was the hit song back then and once. I heard that song in Cuba with this one man band. I said to my buddies. Don't worry we're GONNA be fine and of course. I went to the airport stall some sandwiches. We made it back to Mexico and the rest is history but after those moments everything always seemed to work out just fine song taken this. Daffodil to mean something. Call me crazy if you want. I don't give a shit but it's nice to live in that world because once I turned my head to gossip and what's happening in the entertainment world during these trying times. It gets me even more depressed. You know sometimes I read things I hear things and I wonder. Don't these fucking celebrities have families and they do. Why don't these families speak up and tell to shut the fuck up when they're not making any sense case in point? I'm looking into Jennifer Aniston's instagram story. And you know America's sweetheart sure did get a lot of follow as when she decided to join Us Commoner's on instagram. Remember that about six months ago. She's got tens of millions of people who await her every move. I'M NOT GONNA lie. I follow it too. I think Jennifer Aniston is adorable and she certainly whether the tabloids storms over the years. I've seen a running across the pch to avoid `Paparazzi. We all know what she went. Through when Brad left of for Angelina Jolie so I like survivors. I like Jen but Jen Chan. What were you thinking the other day? Chalk her up for another tone deaf celebrity who actually went on instagram and bed us for money. She said her buddy the real want any pain in the ASS. Mark Ruffalo Mark Ruffalo started an initiative called support our crews and she went on to say that our crews other backbone of the industry and they all play a vital part in the stories we tell they are our community and they need our help during this time. Excuse me our help takes a lot of fucking balls de Initiative states. It takes our village raising funds to support the people behind the camera. Who Bring our stories to life so in other words guys? I don't know what you've got going on. But Jansen and Mark Ruffalo and many others Naomi Watts to she did the same shit on her stories. They would like us all to send money to the professionals who work on crews that make. Tv so that these multi million dollar actors can go back to work so that they can make TV and save us from the doldrums. I never thought she was this fucking dumb. I knew Ruffalo was an asshole and the Omi Watts is like whatever? The fuck an airhead. I thought Aniston got it but no either way guys. What are you say? We'll take our money and listen. I know a lot of us are out of work and others have lost half their income and the rest are just plain concern with money. They still have. Let's see we can't send them some money. What do you say those poor people? Don't forget the sooner we do too soon. We'll be able to see the magical friends reunion show. You know the show. We're all six friends of it'd be back and they're going to sit down and just answer questions about what it was like to work on the show. That's that's the show that's what America clamored for. And that's as much as they're gonNA work. They're going to sit down and answer questions and talk about the show now. I know each of the friends is gonNA clear upwards of four to five million dollars a piece just to sit there. S down and talk. Listen guys before you get less. Pay Their agents. They're going to be their manager. They got lawyers to pay. So by the time these poor slob sit down in the vultures. Get Cut Jan and Courtney and lease and Matt and David and Matthew probably only gonNA clear two and a half billion for one knight's worked come on. We can't expect them to donate money to the folks on the crew and we. What do you say we do apart? Make sure these people are fine. Check your check your bank account tonight check. Your sock drawer finds something. Let's get these fucking crews back working guys it's important. You know that all celebrities are suffering right now. I think I think it's plain to see I mean the cast of Grey's anatomy even ended their season early because of this Chinese flu. So you know they're hurting. And just because the star Ellen Pale once said she doesn't want any trump supporters as fans matter of fact she actually said trump supporters can go fuck themselves aside from all that. Shouldn't we still support her? And that show this. This bitch used the water my fucking plants when we both lived in the same building New York City. Ninety five Horatio Street. She was living with a photographer. She was miserable. She used to come down. A hall is to give her wine. We talk and she get all cross you get all teary about what the position she was in. She had some headshots she wanted to act. I said hang in there. You could do it meantime. I said if I go to L. A. Next week and you take care of my dog and you WANNA my plants. Of course I will. I'll give you one hundred dollars. Oh that'd be great. Aj she was a nobody trying to get good fucking head shots at the time and was thrilled for the handful of money. I gave her Boy had they forget Ernest. Beginnings TRUMP SUPPORTERS. King go fuck themselves. Well I'm one of the supporters. Who fucking paid you to walk two to one of my plans. He forgot she forgot she. Don't give a shit. She's too big anyhow. Have you heard what? Abc's doing combat this glut of shows. Well get ready to lose your shit. They have corralled a bunch of stars. You're ready this is going to make you feel great. This will lift you out of any fox in bed mood. You're in. They have brought together a bunch of stars to sing that favorite Disney tunes to all of us Americans who are stuck at home. It's something called the Disney family. Sing along I'm GonNa put a fucking dot my ass all and pull the trigger if I use ZIP and he do it's curtains. So Derek Coffin assisted Julianne Carryanne Inaba Kenny Ortega even John stamos. They're going to sing to make us better guys these celebrities. They really know how to get us through a hard time. Don't they are things so fucking bad that we need John Stamos to sing a song from frozen to end the doldrums? But that's not all guys is seeing an isn't your thing. Well then you're surely GonNa love what they've got planned for us with Amy Schumer thank God. Amy has founded in her heart to do a cooking. Show for the food network. Because you know so many young Jewish professional women really not a whip up a great fucking meal. Don't make dinner. They make reservations. We all know this and they settled on a name. It's called Amy. Schumer learns to Cook and she and her husband Chris Fisher. They're gonNA fix this brunch and tacos and Pasta. I can't wait to see the pasta recipes. Amy Schumer teaches this Italian now. Wonderful you see guys help is on the fucking way. You just have to be patient. I knew the celebrities would help our survived this pandemic seriously. I know for a fact that amy. Schumer hates that she's doing this. She remembers a time when her show inside. Amy Schumer on comedy. Central was the hottest fucking ticket on. Tv and she was the biggest comic breaking in the country but then she felt like if they like me in little doses. They'll love me if I'm everywhere. No no shit had. That's not the way it works and she made that movie with Goldie. Hawn call snatched that was an abomination as I said it would be then. She went ahead and made I feel pretty in two thousand eighteen and then we knew she was really fucking done and now she knows me overdose on her vagina jokes and her jokes about getting blind drunk in college and having guys Bangor in bed and its just. It's gross the story the jokes disgusting. They're all about guys taking advantage of her and leaving her and her feeling bad and eating her eating or fat face off because she was miserable about banging. Strange guys were drunk. That's her at not to mention all our instagram stories of her puking with morning sickness. She so desperate she now comes up with his show where we get to watch her cook and Shove Food in her. Gin Blossoms face. No thank you but wait if that's not your cup of tea. Don't worry because there's some really thoughtful and wonderful shit you can watch on instagram live. Yeah the celebrities are really doing all. They can to help us guys. Like for instance. Wouldn't you love to watch sophie? Turner apply makeup to her. Jonas brothers husband. It's not gay. It's just to make us happy personally. Very relieved that Joe Jonas and Sophie Turner have reached a new relationship level while they're in quarantine together and because of that. He has finally let her practice her makeup skills on him. Yeah if you believe this is the first time you have no fucking idea what you're talking about and look it's going to turn out to be Great Joe. Bravely posed for photos wearing pink and purple is shadow and Mascara and and highlight all the only. He's playing video games. It's very masculine. You GotTa Watch this. What isn't he just blow Timothy? Shallah met while he's at it to really entertain us. Not only that this loving couple will also let us watch them. Cook together. They're gonNA cook together to to mazing. I never knew how much watching these assholes. Cook would cheer me up. I also did know listening to Justin Bieber in Kendall Jenner on a video chat in which they talk about how blessed they are would make me. Forget all about my problems. You guys have to try this. I mean yesterday was Easter. And since we're in this little quaint AIRBNB. Listen I forgot all about the fact that all I get to cook in his tiny microwave because I got to hear the beeps and the KARDASHIANS LESBIAN SISTER GIVE. Thanks for all their millions. You have to hear this shit had bieber. How blessed are we to be able to like a lot of people? Obviously in this time have a crappy situation you know like they look at us and like obviously we've worked hard for where we're at so it's like you can't feel bad for the things we have. How perfectly put was that and then. Jenner replied. We're so blessed I think about it all the time really well. That's comforting to know. I feel so much better knowing that. Not for nothing. Kendall Jenner did not work hard to be model. Her mother paid her. Her mother paid to get her to be a model and she can't fucking walk a runway to save her life. Go look at the videos and deep down inside. Justin Bieber knows. He reminds people of a lesbian. Who passed prime. He knows he's a one note artist and now that all the teenage girls who carried his ass and grown up. Nobody cares what he does on top and I'd he's going to have to admit one day that he only married Hilary Halley Baldwin while he was in a drug stupor and he wanted to make Selena Gomez feel badly he basically basically married his booty call and now that the drugs have worn off and he knows with no prenuptial agreement by the way. He's gotta stay with alley or else lose a ton of money you see. We're all in little hell these days but this is what celebrities look and sound like when they become starved for attention. Can't make movies record music anymore. Well let me take some of my unscripted thoughts and share them with the world because they must know how I'm doing. This is what goes on in their in their stilted heads every day. It's enough to make you sick. And if you're still not ready to puke well get yourself a subscription to clube Q. U. I. B. I. It's that new platform that has ten minute. Tv shows and listen. If you thought a half hour of Chrissy tedium was too much. Maybe ten minutes of her acting as a judge will be just right and wonderful up your alley. Chrissy court whatever the fuck it's called. Chrissy Teigen is going to is going to judge situations and NBC. Somebody with the gavel in a robe. And she's going to charge arguments and lay down decisions. This is the latest show. She's been handed after she is the height man on lip sync battle. Then got to be a judge on some comedy competition for stand-ups now she's a judge. Chris. Court these fucking people. Just keep getting things handed to them over and over and they've done nothing to warrant it I don't have anything snappy or or wonderful to end this show. I'm talked out. Today was Easter was a lot going on My voice is kind of leaving me if you want to hear an interesting patriot. Go to Patriotdepot DOT COM slash famous bitch. And listen to what I'm telling you about Dr Anthony FAUCI and his connection to Bill Gates. It's disgusting but it's something we all have to know because it's very real and it's being played out every day on TV so get with it. Check the patron of an tune in tomorrow. I'm about to drop I'm dead. I'm not sleeping sleeping like four and a half hours a night. I keep waking up and thinking my dog is next to me when she's not then I get said I gotta check my phone and watch videos over. I know I'm sorry if I'm boring. You would all these dead dog stories but it's getting to me so while not crying. It's still flashing across my eyes every day and not sleep. And so that's why sound like Shit however tomorrow's a new day and then anoc another park tomorrow. So that's it for now guys. I made that was a show for April thirteenth. Twenty twenty to talk to you. Thank you for listening. Fame as a bitch is an AJ Benza. Workhouse connect production featuring the endless wisdom insightful commentary and sometimes fucked up perspective of AJ Benza executive producer. Mike ACA vino technical producer Brian Vasquez.