#243 - Danny's Getting Circumcised

Automatic TRANSCRIPT

Where do we go from here? Sarah Lacina neo feeling smiling for feeling. Okay Oh sort of the show Blake Rene to welcome back to the basement yard pop desert on which which flavor you drinking polar today. It's Raspberry Lime Rasma. Line slaps yeah. I'm drinking Mandarin Bro. So basically the Asian language. There's a there's a flavor of polar that's orange cream. This tastes a little creamy. Not Cream in here. There's Mandarin it's it's basically like drinking cream schools. This this is this tastes like I'm drinking one of those Sherbert cakes. My mom we used to be poor and my mom would buy this Sherbert cake and it was in the shape of a loaf of bread and you would cut it like a loaf of bread and it was not good. Did it like did it ever like satisfy though you'll eat shit. Yeah Dude like you'll eat shit that you know is bad but it still satisfies you for some reason if my mom. It's time for dessert and Fed me a horse's cock. I'd like it. You make it work you make. I mean just because it's a desert and it was. It was cake and it was ice cream so two of the world's best things my mom told me I used to make a deal with her at dinner. Like like she'd be asking me to finish my vegetables or whatever and I'd be like I can't. I can't finish all these. Ps and then I'll and then I'll ask her to to cut me a deal like mom. I need to make a deal. Yes so she'd come over to my plate and she would like be like all right if you eat just this amount appease this amount of Broccoli then you can have dessert. Been cutting deals since you were like five years old. I've been fucking. Yeah starting on my mom on your mom. The let's not forget. She paid me back with that whole Wang situation so we have a history of business and we don't have a great business relationship now reporters off the reports off. The report had a great business relationship out cutting deals about vegetables and then she went in. She fucked me in the whole Alan Wang thing but Shah Wang wherever you got off Scot free fucking bastard invested that money is probably riches. Shit now hell you imagine injury Yang. And that was that was like his pivotal like business stories. Like the does Ted talk about. It was like I'm running for president but I'm just finding the basis of my wealth is great. I got a fifty dollars dollar bill. You ever watched Ted talks and you're like none of this is inspiring me though. Ted Talks are so stupid. They have a million different things. Like here's a Ted Turner. Here's a Ted Talk. Why They Kill Cal cal cal I thought Ted Talks. Were strictly for like Bill Gates. Warren Buffett right right right right one percent of the world and they're not there for like anyone now like they have. I'm pretty sure they have a Ted talk about how to draw a perfect circle or something like dumb shit. Even Kid Cudi's got a Ted talk and I watched it dumb. Didn't say anything rows like Nice. He just told a story. And it's like it's like people always look at you I then they'll see. How strong is your hand shake? This is a story about being left handed in America. They'll fucking talking about the growing up left handed. It's all a metaphor for yes. Yes that's all is people. They say people who are left handed are also ninety four percent more likely to be racist another statistic that you should know is that. Mexicans tend to be lefthanded. That's all I'm saying wait. I don't know if that was part of the little bit you're doing or if that's not I duNno. I was a bit bit bit all bit all bit. Yeah I'm just GONNA let everybody know I can't stop losing weight now. Starting to get afraid why what? I'm like two hundred and twenty pounds now so little concerning just because you've been telling many stories about running two seven eleven to get pop tarts which don't really factor into weight loss too much. Well I've that was the last of it. I said no more bums no more pop tarts of cold Turkey. I'm Bob we did everything we did everything out but this place down here public up semi some stuff to public S- with the fuck. I thought they send you some stuff. I'm like what that's major supermarket. Yeah Yeah Yeah No. I have like a public hat and stuff which is cool but I want more stuff. They have this thing where you bought supermarket merch. Yeah you bought Super Super Super Suits so so who? You're moving today. I'm like a bird you ever see videos of of like parakeets doing this and they're they're oddly on beat to Parents know what's going on. Parrots always know. What's going on? Did I ever tell you? There's parents loosen this neighborhood. Yeah I've seen one. It sounds like pterodactyls flying around I was. I was about to go on my run yesterday and I go to put my headphones in and right before they get my ears. I just here your like ducking I was like damn. You'RE GONNA tear dinosaurs out here man. We talk about the picture you posted yesterday. Oh yes please Wayne for this. Now I know Joe Yeah. I know that wasn't a real picture. What like like like like you didn't mean suppose like you're like jokingly posted that picture right. I didn't wait. What the one where you're like. Oh I know the picture right joke you a joke. That was a joke right. No that was serious off dead. So I'll do a series. Is Cancer All right Josh? If you make this into a clip police throw picture in there. This picture was so add character for you. I loved it because I'm all about the FLEX train. I love flexing hard. Why wasn't really flexing flexing? Power stance said five miles. You're all fucking wearing the same clothes and shit what this lady like. I'll tell you this right now. You know how sick I am. You wonder how sick of individual I am thousand. Five Mile. Run right to get to that. Point was two point seven miles where I I knew at like one point two miles where I was going and what can happen when I got there really meditative pick. Okay I do have to say Frankie. Frankie has one of the Best Collins I've ever seen. Yeah it was like I love you. But this sucks dude. I love you but this picture sucks so much. Oh listen you're trying something different. You're trying something different dude. First of all let's not ignore the fact that like although you know obviously it's a very dushi picture picture. What that a very nice. It's very nice picture. It could be in a magazine. I'm not gonNA say that it can't be but it's got shrimp all over it and I'm the king of Post Indu. She picks well. Yeah takes one the no one? So I'm saying Yeah. Of course you would you consider yourself douche outwardly. Yes put inside of me. No you know you're not a Douche but like you have no problem being portrayed as a Douche I think that sometimes we all have you know times where we're like you know what I think. I'm just GonNa you know flex my arm in his for no reason. So let's let's get real. Let's get real personal on here. All right let's all right. We're GONNA go It's go deep. I've ever posted a picture on instagram. Or you're just like what is he doing. Most of your pictures I would say. Eighty seven percent of your instagram stories as well. This is like Danny by new pair of shoes. And he's like I'm GonNa fill me stepping out of this hoover. Why what the fuck is going on flexing so hard because you want to know what it is. It's like I do this thing with Joe I like to see which pictures of mine he likes and I know he sees all my pictures I know he does. I'm going to go through them right. And he doesn't like any pictures so all right not enough. I'm finish let me finish. The question like is equal to ten thousand lakes so if you really get Joe swoon. Enough to be like all Dan. That's a cool picture. You know what I'm saying like. I took a really cool picture in a Santa Gado studios sweatshirt with blue lighting. Outside of the Cleveland on Ocean. Drive I said this is GonNa Joe. This is getting a gel one for sure fucking days days. I waited for this like it. Never fucking came so now. I'm just under the impression that Joseph Pictures Again. I Joe's pictures all the time. I like the picture scroll back. Oh here we go April. Twenty fifth hasn't liked one of my pictures since April twenty fifth June. It wasn't a picture. It was a video of this. That's what I like. Say you know it's I? I'm not a big liker. I use the things that I like are usually like sports clips shit but I just Kinda just. I used to take it immensely personally. Well what else if you guys don't know on the most sensitive person on the planet do you think I'm overly sensitive? I think I am. I think I am for sure. You're no I don't think you're overly sensitive fucking say that because yeah never mind. I'll take it back. No I think that your debt for sure sensitive. I'm Shit I'm very moody I think you. But here's the thing. I don't think you over analyze things which I find more annoying than anything. Yeah people over analyze situations that bothers me beyond belief. But like you don't do that but you're just I guess you're just sensitive but I don't really feel like you're not that sensitive because if you were then I would feel like. I can't say certain things Dan to react a certain way or this or that. No certain people you're like I can't even fuck and bring this up because they're going to lose their minds on. My brother likes like that is he. Yeah fucking fucking fireball cannon. Love Mike the Death. Love Him to death expert. Yo Mike what's up on your shoes like a little dirty your fucking faces dirty on my God and a like your mother. Sturdy MOM DUCK. Same Mother Yeah. Let me ask you a question by the way because I was thinking about this I So I went and saw my new nephew. Obviously I'm an uncle now and thank you granted yes but so I. We went and saw the kid and we were like we stayed. Far Away. Like whatever Blah Blah. I mean they say boy. I don't know because I haven't seen as painless and you know I don't i. Don't you know I'm not ready to say anyone's a boy until I see their penis? Here's how I do things so I don't know but then I already that cock right so then but then I started like think and then while we were there. My cousin texted a picture of his kid to my brother and their baby was naked. Right and now I just WanNa know. Here's my question. How do you feel about naked babies naked? Babies are fine. Listen I grew up around a lot of babies so I saw a lot of naked babies and then I worked with children. I saw a lot of naked children. Well how how are these children that you working with your teaching them how to swim? You're also seeing their penises. You ever see a kindergarten or first grade. Try to put their fucking pants back on after swimming in a pool. No I haven't Danny Kinda hard naked kids all the time. I saw naked children time so it doesn't really bother me. I needed to know though. Did you check out your nephews deck? No that's what I'm saying. I haven't seen his paintings. I don't know anything about him. You think. He's got a rod on them. I don't know he's got big feet. Some worried aw probably got huge. Still saying I don't WanNa know how thank God he was. He was worried he was like a blanket. He was all wrapped up. I was like I can't see a pair of fat balls right now. I just kill my confidence can ask. Personal is is he cirque so cert. Yeah Cert- I thought we had another one. No no no no. Keep it in a family now. I got another crazy question though. All the people in the comments. Now you mutilated this. You that traditional mutilation are my nephew. My family's Dick will cut it if we want. Yawkey my family. I'll cut the kid's head off if I want but I go to jail for that would also if you cut your nephews pianists. I'm sure you'd go to jail to not unless I had a certification because I don't know if you know this but they do makes circumcision practice kits that you could buy online the hundred dollars and you do circumcisions. We should get that in and do a Santa Ghana Studios Video. That'd be the first one back. Who's the best at circumcise? Who's the best? So it's not GonNa be you know I have no. I have no prior knowledge. I would wonder how painful it would be for me to get circle so dude. Someone's cutting Jack. Would you pay for my cirque? No it will probably be free with the insurance you got my insurance is probably you know. Be Dollars Yeah. My insurance covers everything which is thank God but think about it. It's not a lot of skin so it can't cost that much. Hey Man we're trying to say I got a little hood saying no one's gotTa dig big enough that the skin just going to be like it's a four hour surgery. I can put on a black on your track team us much. Yeah there was a black football team in high school. He got circumcised while. Because fucking Dick with stretching hood to the Max. I don't I could not I haven't seen his penis. I don't know if he's a boy. I really wonder how long the recovery is has to be an outpatient procedure. Yeah I don't know I think you you ever take PP's and like a little part of your to be stinks. I'm sorry you WanNa say that. So I understand. You're saying like every piece. Have you ever taken a P and at the end of the P your your your p. whole stings a little bit? My your wreath. Yeah I thought I think the soap has been getting into my my my Paul and it's funneled down there so every time I p pass it hurts wait. So you're just Burning Ping right now. No no no no no. It's not burning peeing. Burning Ping like it's the end of a P. The end of the just feels a little weird. Maybe they have like a uti so the final drip hurts find your final drip age the fire. Yeah the final boss. But it's not like it's not like but right it's just like a little like Oh okay yeah they have you ever had a ut. I I have and it feels like that. Yeah so I think it'd be. It'd yeah I'm afraid to go to the doctor because I don't want them to be like. Oh you have like a kidney stone in there you wouldn't feel that at the tip of your paints you would feel that like in your body. No it's it's a kidney stone you feel it in the tip of your penis otherwise it would be out. No it's not in the tip of my more at the base of my Sean Dom. Oh it's like underneath. Yeah it's like right where the P. performs like about to come out of my whole the drain. Wait on your tip. No not on my tip. Where is this pain as he's at the base of my cock? We're talking against your your whole. Your were your pubis is yeah. We're like my where my balls meet my my cock like. Oh Yeah my niece. I'm afraid I have a kidney stone. I don't think he had kidney stone. And it's it'd be it would be way more painful. Yeah or maybe they're just small and I swear to God. I P the other day and something came out of my penis and went down the drain. I swear I don't know if I thought this I don't know if I thought this in my my brain is can. I can manifest things but that was kind of strange and then I felt something. Hit the water. That wasn't water that it was an adamant object and I believe that it came from my pain. So you're pissing seeds. I think I'm pissing sees like I'm just shooting little fucking pomegranates out. Dude did one of these guys that almost stab you like sucker Dick or something. I think the spit travel for my back down my crack through by into my whole. Yeah because that's what it sounds like. That's that's the only thing I could possibly think of right now. That would never going to be like. Oh Danny as a sexually transmitted disease. No I don't. I've been highly tested in many labs by many many dudes many men. Man U S CD in Quarantine Dues. I have to. It's easier to get corona than se. D Right now. Yeah Yeah House New York Corona. I mean I don't know I'm not like check in the streets. Not or no cuomo coming on and talking to. I haven't I've this is myself from the news because I don't Wanna I whatever thinking about thinking about it is just like it's the same thing every day it's like you know the schools. Jospin and I'm like I you know. Just tell me when I can go get drunk at a place. What was the question you wanted to ask me though it was how you feel about about naked babies because Oh yeah yeah for me. I'm like like look my brothers baby like there's only one degree of separation there right so like. I don't mind that baby being naked but like if I go to my cousin's house and their baby runs through the house and they're just you know swing in their little beasts thing penis everywhere. GonNa feel weird. Why not that? I'm sexualizing it. Because I don't want you know these fucking people either over here being like well. You know if I'm not you know I'm not doing that but I'm just saying for a second when I see someone who's naked. I go wait what's going on. You know we're are you doing over there? No actually I'm bringing. I'm trying to find how much it costs to get circumcised price of adult cirque. Danny you don't have to look it up because no one's getting out listen. Adult or cosmetic circumcision is not covered by your health. So I it's probably not adult circumcisions prices from fifteen hundred to three thousand easy. I'll do it you your pay for me to get circumcised hundred percent. I'll do it as soon as all this is over. Are you really to part with your hood? Yeah why not wait so if I pay for your circumcision you will get it. Yes I will shake the block and I will get and I will get my circumcision done. This is this is incredible. Yeah let's do it you're going. You're going to slice up that Ham. Yeah if if you will pay for me to get circumcised that will go in there and get served but you don't even know the recovery time or anything like that. Let's look it up. Wait do you have any interest in being circumcised? I don't want to mutilate you I don't Wanna I don't WanNa like pushier some mutilation if there's no valid medical reason. It's a thousand dollars yet. That's talk patriots dot com slash Baseman Yard. Pay For instance. Dick oh I got it I got it. We'll do this. We'll do this okay. I'll get circumcised. And then you get your my own put on your Dick. Now we're talking the old switcheroo no right now. Currently on patriotic we have two thousand. Four hundred seventy four patrons. Okay okay if we get four thousand right if we get four thousand patrons is going to get circumcised at one hundred percent one hundred percent down. I. I'm floored by this honestly terrified four thousand. I'll let them circumcise my cock guys. Please go to Patriotdepot dot com slash the baseman yard and sign up. If I was you I would sign up for for the second tier. It's ten dollars and do the morning meeting and Dany is going to be doing some content. I haven't told him God that on there but there's a lot of content on here. You got every episode a week early Dan. He's GonNa get circumcised so we're trying to hit four thousand patrons if that four thousand patrons I'll cut his. I'll I'll come leader. I am so floored by this. What I'm just saying like listen people. I've never grown up ever being like uncircumcised gross like Iraq. Oh my shit like I don't care but for the love of the game I'll get snipped. I'll get sniffed hot. No I think it's one of those things I'm trying to find out. What can you return? You should be able to return to work or school shortly after the procedure since the discomfort is slight can be buy over the counter. Pain Medications. Do I'm getting my fucking Dick Sniff. What is this? Are you down on your percent for doing anything? Four thousand patrons get circumcised guys please for the love of God four thousand patrons so like I said we're at two thousand four hundred seventy four thousand patrons dany a grown thirty year old man. Thirty one thirty one year old man is going to get circumcised Yup and look the anesthesia is. It won't affect fertility. Will it affect my sexual pleasure? Know what kind of anesthesia will be used circumstance? The put me under. I'm not doing it. The surgeon will utilize local anesthesia and numb the area or general anesthesia pain. Yeah just let them know my cock long. I don't WanNa go under because I'm afraid I won't wake up how to prepare for adult circumcision. Tell your medications. You were taken and follow doctor's instructions. What the stop taking before the procedure what to expect during an after adult circumcision circumcision safe minor surgical procedure. It's minor what tools are involved. Oh my God you can't look at the tools that you're going to back out. I mean my tools annual matter. Shit sure it's like you know. I saw six. Sharp tool is used. Cut Away the foreskin. Searchers are used to close the edges and various other tools are used to administer the chosen anesthesia. What medications are involved over the counter? I they make it sound like a layup. All right now are into the risk and complications of adult circumcision. Here we go. As as any other surgical procedure there are risks associated with circumcision but complications are rare and rhys are easily minimize. Some scarring as possible. Yeah but then I have a battle-hardened did however scarring can be reduced using common plastic surgery techniques. If I have to have any follow up surgery you have to cover it. Did you have to cover covered. All right what are the potential rewards or benefits of adult circumcision? There reported health benefits of circumcision including improved hygiene. Decrease risk a urinary tract infections. Which I might have one right now. I'm helping Your Dick. Health decreased risk of sexually transmitted diseases and decreased risk of penile cancer. No these are beneficial but these benefits are controversial. Urologists can help you weigh in with benefits and risks and also if you think. I'm just going some fucking Chinatown urologists. You're sadly mistaken. I'm going to the Doctor James Andrews of Dick Cutting. Yeah I mean I would to listen. I'm not kidding at all. I I do this for us. I'm honesty but like I don't WanNa be a part of this. I don't WANNA be held responsible for no. You wouldn't be held responsible fiscal. You'd be responsible. I'd say I'll say this I was joking and anything seriously so I don't WanNa be responsible here for joke. I made but I of course if you will pay for me to get circumcised. I'll be in and out bang. Bang it sound like it's like getting a cavity filled. That's honestly I think. Probably getting a cavity. Filled is probably more painful. Hebei man maybe. Oh there's GonNa be like cert- sutures is it searchers or sutures but yo can you imagine that at some point you're going to have a different? Dick than you've had for thirty one years. That's the ultimate flex. Ma fog is out here by chains by whips by kicks. I bought a new GIG mother fucker and I bought it for Boys Day. I dropped my hit convertibles. Dick top of. Oh my God is hired of it. I'm tired of how to pull my skin back to P. I'm tired of three streams back. I'm tired man quick showers. I'm ready to rock dude. I I cannot believe this dude also I make I make too much money now to be on circumcised. I think you're going to be closer to Jewish. Yeah I got to be closer to Jewish. Takes too much. You gotta read learn a language. Shit but you get circumcised. Your credit goes up two hundred points. That's a fact. Yeah so ready for that. This is insane. I'm down four thousand patrons. I'm wit guys four thousand patrons okay. So here's the thing if I'm going to be held responsible here. So are you guys? So we're all going to earn this. Okay we're all getting something out of this okay. We're getting four thousand patrons. Danny's getting a new sleek Dick. God I'm GonNa Fuck in love my cock Bro. I love my Dick now like I have a very pretty penis like I've been I've been told it's very pretty but if it was just a little bit top sleeker tightened it up a little bit. I think we can really shake the block like change the game. That's like with me. I think that you know I started taking my next step. Towards you know in hotness when I started getting like fades so like you just can't affair your first face getting a high top fade on my cock. This episode is going on right now. What's happening right? So listen mini golf. You backed out dire hair but I did something I backed out. I didn't run the mile right if this happens. We cannot backout no. We can't because it's now there's money involved. Yeah and I'm willing to do it. I'm willing to do it and I'll tell you it's a win win for everyone. I get cleaner Dick. You lose a little money but you save a friend I I can I gain. I get so much from the the fact that I could say that. I petitioned way into getting my friends. Dick circumcised is I mean and the Jewish community is just absolutely going to be. You know I'm GonNa look like a hero and so are you going to be elated. We're going to be we're going to beat you. Heroes all my God. They're going to be so fucking happy. So we're we'RE WE'RE THIRTY MINUTES IN TWENTY US. Hammering out a deal to get my penis circumstance. That's how you do business. Let's get down to business all right shit out but you brought up your mom earlier right on. I need to get to the okay. I'm going to take one last final. Look at my penis I gotta sit apart of my digs going be gone. Hold on keep it. I'M GONNA get a Lebron's or dipped in gold and put it on a chain okay. I'll say we're make my foreskin into a pinkie ring. What okay that is gross gross? But it'd be fired though. No one else will ultimately flex you. You can keep foreskin by the way really. I think at least tell me your brother kept steals for no no no no no but I think that you can keep it because I feel like a movie. They had that was it. You read the thing that the Rabbi Sucks you Dick After you get cut yeah rabbi subpoenas maybe some. I don't know if they still are sucking penis. If rabbi tries to suck my cock tight well rabbis not going to cut your Dick Adopters. GonNa cut your Dick. I want the doctor to be Jewish though that I can't promise you won't address famous Jewish. He's going to know how to cut that. Dick I'm not going to some Puerto Rican doctor because all of us are walking around on snipped right. Okay I could do a forty like do take a little weight. Alan opie I could take a little bit off the. What if you want this is to commit to call someone else to you my friend? I think it'd be all right though. But yeah all I know. Is that rabbis? You suck those penises back in the day as some ritual to suck the blood out of the baby and You know what data in there? Yeah man that's all right. Let's make this is like all right these these rules one. Rabbis like tackles just a little bit. Sicily don't bleed all over the place. That's just my two piece. Might do pace the laud. Dr Gabe bullets wants to suck leaders out about one get published in the Tora. Wherever and then I got. I got to tell you about my mom. Yeah you guys. All jokes aside the Patriots on you get every episode a week early you get you know every morning or around every single morning we have the morning meeting segments. Like fifteen to twenty minutes. I'm content every day and we're going to be adding more stuff to it so you get a lot of which Joe won't let me on for some reason. No that's not true. I think he's very comfortable. I think wants us to be his own thing. I literally we're going to have a conversation. We I forgot to have with you beforehand. But we're going to have a conversation where there's going to be more content on on the Patriot on so they're not only will you guys get more content. You'RE GONNA be a driving force to a man thirty one okay. I'm ready or maybe honestly he's going to be thirty two and circumcise which makes it even funnier. Because it's going to have to wait. We're in a quarantine at the way we're gonNA have to wait. God I'm down. Can you imagine they're like so? What what a what made you decide to get this know. Cool on all right cool told ahead a pretty Dick but now I want like hot dig so now. I want to gorge gorgeous. I wonder if I have to get hard. I don't think so. Probably make it easier though you know. If like if you're ripping something you tighten it. I think they could just pull the skin. I don't think they need you to Yank your peop- What are you doing? You try you try and right now. I'm thinking of if I'm gonNA feel anything I'm GONNA feel some I'm GonNa but I just wanted to. Like maybe make a keychain out of it swam finger what you do with your now severed fucking force up to you buddy. Yes yes. Yeah that decision. You're making on your own all right. Cool all right. Let's get through these Sponsors here which. I don't know how we're going to be able to move forward but wait I got some for you know after the is Oh okay I was like okay. I don't we have better health better. Hope is online counseling. 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I mean I have a bunch of them in the background. You can't see them obviously put I have a bunch of bags of them in the background. I usually have them like if I know I'm going to be drinking a lot. I'll have one earlier in the day and the next morning I wake up and have another one and I feel totally fine like I never get like headaches or anything like that because I have all these whatever they're called. What does that word? I'm looking for electrolytes or electrolytes baby electrolytes though the hydrated bitch hydrated and they're amazing. Your favorite ones the Berry right crush the berry and the lemon lawn to the lemons good. I actually liked the passion. Fruit PASSION FOR ASHES. Are Good too. That is my stuff right there. Packaging immaculate yes. Immaculate Packaging Immaculate Packaging Liquid Ivy is donating two point three million servings in response to covid nineteen products are being donated to hospitals. First Responders foodbanks veterans and active military. Also a lot of people dehydrate domino three out of four people. So that's a ton if you want to try liquid. Iv GO LIQUID IV DOT COM and use the Code Baseman at Checkout Twenty. Five percent off. Anything you order when you use the Promo Code Basement at liquid dot com but yeah again twenty five percent off anything you water liquid liquid I-I'VE DOT COM. Use the Promo Code Basement. Twenty five percent off. Okay Bom Iraq ready yet are cool so I had a dream last night and it was like a regular normal dream at first like nothing like to like. Oh I have to remember this but the one part of my dream. I do remember them flipping through an old playboy magazine right and I get to the centerfold and it's my mom and I'm like and I'm like I'm like Oh my God what is happening. What is what is this. What's going on. So I see my mom's tits. I see my mom's tits and I fucking flip out I go. Oh my God fucking discussing from the seventies because my mom was a playboy centerfold model and I'm calling everyone in my family my dream even people that aren't in my family that I've never met for for some reason. They're in my family. My uncle Jerry. Like there's no jerry you fucking know this about my mom and he was just like it like everybody knew like your mom did that and I was like I didn't fuck annoyed. Did this. Then I went to my mom and I confronted her right arguing with my mom and my dad's like he's like she was. She was a woman. Let her do what she wants. And I told my aminist. Yeah Yeah Yeah Feminists Dad even made it into my dreams and he was like mother's business. What you care and I'll all I remember is looking at my dad and going. I saw my mom's tits and then we'll go damn dude. I saw my mom's tits my dreams last night. I mean at least it wasn't hustler. Saw like crazy stuff. Yeah Yeah my dad would have been in it too. It was hustler. Yeah there's some sex going on so this is what brings me go. Go ahead what would you do? If you found out your mom was like a porn star talking about like kids now some Katie. You say Yo you know your mom's like well. The thing is the porn star now. Basically everyone's got a fucking fans. There's like the kid with the long neck. The skinny kid with the long neck on instagram. Scott he's only fans account. I gotta get on there. It's fucking people online. It's crazy once something becomes a fad. People are just like I'll just do it like whatever it is and to the point where now it's like they're making amateur porn. Only fan slap like that though. I'm not paying for fucking Porn Dude. No but like but that's the thing like do there are girls who have large followings like millions of followers on instagram right. And if you think about it right if you like because some some women don't give a shit if people see their tits or see they're like naked photos or anything like that and at that point if you've gained such a mass following on instagram like dude good for you like only fans where people are like. I'll pay fifteen dollars a month to see your tits and you're like I don't really can't come to my body. I don't really care. And like I look great. And whatever and they make millions of dollars millions of dollars could you date someone with only fans? Yeah I mean I feel like if you if it's not secret and it's like whatever I mean you're asking me right now like I don't really know anyone who is really like that really one person who dates somebody with an offense. Yeah I don't I don't know but I said seems to do okay with it i. I'm I'm cool. I couldn't date someone who's again pounded on camera. Like if they're like a porn star or something like that can do that but like if they just feel like you know. I'M FREE WITH MY BODY. And whatever like who am I to tell them what they are going to do with their body or they like you know whatever so. Yeah Yeah Post your pictures or whatever. I think I would have a problem with like masturbation videos like. That's that's what I'm saying like maybe like tip picture cool like if I guess but like you know there's a difference of there's nothing wrong with the female body like if you WanNa have your tits out. Have your tits out go crazy? There's nothing wrong with that. But sexualizing it where it's like. Masturbation videos is like heavy stuff. So it's like that's that's a different thing than just being like cut both your body. It's like what about what about oily tit? Ropes do this one this one. Yeah I mean like I said I think I'm not one of those dudes who's very like no one can talk to or I'm not you know. Some people are very possessive like I'm not possessive. This is my property. It's like you live your life the you want to do but like I said I think that once it becomes like sexual acts like she's like you know suck and a Dildo or something like Jesus is. This is too much here. My Mom's watching this. Yeah like Christ for fifteen dollars in the last like I want these bump it up to thirtieth sucked that fake day. Ten percent up here. You know one time. Speaking of like debate in this. Did you find the playboy? Yeah I found it so I found a playboy once in my dad's drawer is yeah and it was nice and if you think didn't go back to visit that a couple of nights. I did all right so I don't know what I was looking for. I think it was looking for a pair of socks so I went and my dad sock drawer. And Yeah and I've found a puss is what happened. No but I but I went to my dad sock drawer and he always wore these big ass socks and I was like where I can't wear these. These will come up to my fucking thighs so searching for smaller stocks you know and then I get to the bottom and I see this green magazine. I'm like what is this my pull it out. And you see Naomi Campbell's and her fucking hard nipples laying on the cover. Hershey Kiss Nets so darkened nice. Nice yeah funny. Because it's true you know. Yeah it's I think it's like a very Like FAMOUS OF IN WHATEVER. But yeah you know. It's collector's item. My Dad was a collector. I remember I was just through that thing and just you know just just Poland. He's pulling my pain is sometimes remember jerking off. The magazines might go back to that. I haven't seen a magazine in so long dude. I see them in like Bodega and they're so old. Are you see like the national enquirer? It's like Oh Tom Cruise fucked and alien and you're like well. This isn't real. I remember one time I was a kid and I was looking for like a game informer magazine so when my mom and it's like a comic book shop alike Slash Bodega in our town and had a game informer I was looking for. I always get game. Informer's see what video games are coming out this before. The Internet and I see a magazine says busty Babes. Bust the beavers lovely so I pull it out. And there's this woman with these big fat tits. Oh yeah big fan of big fat tips and the biggest fucking Bush I have ever seen. Yeah man these love. The Bush magazines Bush in hard. And I'm talking like you know like the clean it up like towards like the top like this was square. The circular yeah. It's like a minecraft character like that and I was just like. Oh my God and I remember just seeing that and being like this is this is what I'm GonNa do. GonNa have to get this magazine at some point so I actually went back to attempt to steal. The magazine. Couldn't couldn't pull off the ocean eleven. Remember when you would steal share as a kid and everything was like an ocean eleven like type heist. Yeah it's like Frankie. You Watch doors Keith. You fake strategy clerk and then you do it and you get outside like that seen in fight club after they like cut that guys balls off or whatever and they're like Yeah Nice you go that way go that way split the only successful. Ocean's eleven poor magazine job we ever did. It was me my brother Mike and this kid joe shock where we grew up and we stole the China Playboy when it came out. We were huge often. You gotTA steal that. Yeah so. The collector's item. So we were just like gotTa steal this China magazine and we stole it. We pulled it off Mike. Watch the door this kid. Joe Distracted the clerk. I swiped it balanced. We went under the boardwalk and looked at it together it was cool and then we rotated days where people could have it and me and Mike had the same stash spot for where it was like. You'll you'll listen it's right here under the third tile in the ceiling because we all office tile and our basement so he's the put it up there and my my brother was jerking off. I would go to get it and it wasn't. They're nice and vice versa. But yeah we pull that one off proud of that heist yeah. Yeah we used to have so the. There was a thing that we had you know. Speaking of jerking off to magazines. Not well hold on. There used to be a garage at the top of my block right. We have the alleyway. That's like the back of everyone's houses. Then you go up to the top and there was a garage there. Now if you walk and it's just like made out of stone so in the back of it though. It was like a like in the alleyway. There was a parking space right. And in the garages in the front like on the street so if you go into the drive into the driveway to the left in between the next house and this garage was a small space right. That was like maybe this wide you could fit through so we would just fucking sideways get in there and there was a crack because of erosion right. We're talking about the earth here and we stuff the magazine in there. Thought you guys went through jerk off. Well we went there and we put a playboy magazine there so sometimes you go back and you know. I don't know of anyone jerked off there. I know that I didn't jerk off because I was afraid. Shocking Jerking off the Blair witch house. That's literally it was. Yes it was it would be like jerking off in like under the deck of one of those old Georgian homes. It was like a crawlspace. Would you have you ever jerk off in pub- no by myself now me neither You've jerked off like in your car or something in my car. The hell what. Yeah jerk off my car. You've you've mold. You've mobile baited mobile. Not Now not while driving. I've pulled over Jack Off. Well of course I mean we just do to. That's like this thing if you know but I'm saying driving in Jersey it's like ever Jada in your car. No I never jerked out of my car. Dude it's awesome the rush. The rush is Russian getting caught. That's what the comments it's not sexual yet. But it's the rush right but like where do I you know? There's a thing that happens at the end of jerking off. Yeah it's a situation. It's more about the chase uber being. Yeah okay chased by. You gotta live a little bit jerk off outside. Wants to go change your fucking life. I don't know why I'd ever have to have you ever jerked off on a beach. What do on a beach alone. Yeah like when I was twelve years old. I used to go to the beach where I used to live before moved here in sixth grade. I remember going to the beach one night and just jerk fan right. That actually sounds it was at night. It was that night and it was peaceful shit here. The waves crashing waves crashing. I'm common I'm just looking up. Stars the stars while you come Bro. That have happened fly. Changing I've had sexual relations outside. I've seen stars. Yes I've heard crickets you know gone. You know the country the country not off. Yes you know what I mean. This is a big episode for me. I think I might have a UTI. I think we talked about your Dick most of the getting circumcised. Apparently and we'll definitely and then a jerk off on a beach in sixth grade. Never Forget it. I think I fucking cried after I mean. Hey that's a very You know that's a heavy mental moment and you said You'd never been caught jerking off right not to my knowledge. I've been caught jerking off. It's known brought it to my attention. So how'd you know you gotta call it because my mom walked in and stared at me for like two seconds and just shut the door. Maybe that's happened that I don't remember but I feel like I would. So that's why I say no. You suppressed it. Well it's like when you're a kid you think you're fooling your parents and they're like this fucking idiot but like I don't know if they knew I've said this before. Nothing was think about how rare it was for us to have the house to ourselves. How Rare Yeah. I would have to like fake sick. And that's when I would take advantage and I would just be absolutely slamming this thing like. Oh my God full volume to see. I would never do that because I started worried about the neighbors hearing because the house in New York connected if I had a single house where it was just just my house. And then there were some yard inbetween houses. I would have been blasting porn on like a Bluetooth speaker or something. Like a beats pill. Just fucking let reverberate. Have you ever plan to jerk off? How far in advance are we talking? Warriors like a plan like basically like you know you're leaving an establishment to go jerk off. I've this is the first thing I'm going to do you soon as I get. Home is fucking jerk off literally. You're saying I two people people up and you're like all I know. Is that first thing? I'm doing what I'm going home is coming so hard. The the last this happens so much because whenever I go on vacation with all of my guy friends not jerking off in that house. Know when we're at the airport like yoga is CEO later. Don't ask me for the next hour. I need time to get home. Pull my things down. Take a shower saying see. I feel like a guy's masturbating is like gross to people and my girls masturbating is like a beautiful thing magical moment you know it's like. Oh this magic moment yes just like like. They're exploring themselves like us. We're just discussing to smack in our dicks around. Well they are exploring they have to excavate they have to go inside and kind of figure out what's going on well not always some of them stay on some of them stay on the surface but some of them do enter the Earth's crust and yeah. Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah last. We're just pulling a lever there over there. They gotta dig. They gotta you know. They got to play around different thing. They're digging. We're pulling different category of masturbation and I think that's why guys get a bad rap. I think also get a bad rap because like I think we think about Grocer Shit like like I feel like women are like Kinda like in their own head when they do it. Obviously Women Watch porn but like they're in like their own head about like more. Maybe like like I wonder girls fig about game like rail of course I think so I believe that. Yeah what else would you think about like? I don't know people just like the sensation. Maybe like a like smells like Oh my God. Fresh laundry smell like that smell. Yeah Dude I could your first laundry could to just the feeling of like you ever had like. Did your mom ever do this where she does the laundry but she takes all of the laundry like fresh out of the dryer and puts it in the living room and does it in the living room? While watching Oprah Dude I used to just take the laundry that was like super warm and just poured on my body and just feel that warmth pissed my whole body felt so good something. That's super warm and smell super good. It doesn't get any better than that food. Close candles gasoline well. I don't know if I could jerk off the gasoline. Do you think gasoline is the best smell ever? I know we did a thing about smells on the Chanel. No it's not. It's it's a good smell but I think the reason why people like casual because gasoline is is a unusual it's not typically categorized as a nice smell but people enjoy it for some reason so I think they play that up but I'm sorry mucosal coconut coconuts fire. I like I have a coconut shampoo in there and it smells so fucking good. Do you think or Vanilla Manila Never Fox. I love this shit. I love that Shit. Love the fuck out of it. The other thing I love the fuck out of two is every time I go like A. It's like a bakery fresh pastries and you feel and you smell fresh pastries. Fred is fed fresh West Patriots. Fred Three Oh my God. Speaking a pastries safe rush pastries five times fast. Don't do this to do it. Fresh pastries fresh Try Right fresh pastries pastry pastries pastry. Fresh price. Trees Mega fresh pastries fresh pressure for fuck fresh pastries pastry for patients pay. She's for patients. These warriors about pastries when you buy pastries pastry watching the other. The member that old video that woman. Who's like go to the judge gets a fudge? You've never seen the video woman. Go to the judge and get some fudge. She's like are you an MD. Dm Guys like do you know about twitter. She's like Yup. Never seen that. Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah go. To the charge. It gets a fudge. Did we ever find out what was wrong with that woman? I don't know man. She's probably drank a lot of mountain dew. She goes md. And the guy goes my Dick. Where are you going to say about pastries? Oh I haven't been able to have any. I had a creme Brulee though the other day though slamming shit was fire to Shinzo fires. Y'All know there's nothing better than a torch just oh to burn it. When did we start burning foods? Love it if I have a raw piece of meat and someone comes over and just torches it. I'm like yeah give it to her. I Love I fucking love that you ever have a day where you're just like all right. I'm GONNA eat healthy today but on Saturday I'm going to get fucking gross. So tell me what your healthy day of eating is then tell me what your gross Saturday is ideal so I'll I know it for sure because I've been there many a time so my biggest problem with eating healthy is not my meals because I have healthy meals. My snacks are horrendous. That's that's how I've been losing weight. I don't snack anymore. I think I ate an entire package of chips. Ahoy cookies in less than twenty four hours and I did the math. Twenty four hundred calories really. That's not bad. Twenty four hundred calories all through day. It's not terrible. That's a taunt also on top of everything else that they probably. I ran five miles yesterday. It's like close to nine hundred calories so only like a third. I ran five miles and two thirds of a chips. Ahoy fucking Bang still in me. So I'm shit. Caloric deficit kits calorie foods low calorie foods but so if I snack healthily with just like celery and Hamas or you dose Chickpea puffs or whatever those are healthy days right and then when I'm like yo I'm turning up it's like there's a couple of things one is like just straight like Papa Johns. I know it's a racist pizza but like they have that garlic butter common. It's so good garlic. Butter knows no knows. No skin tone. Yeah it doesn't. It'll yes so I usually do that. I'll have maybe five slices and then just have like all those little fucking cheesy bread this bullshit. Oh probably have ice cream that day. We'll have an ice cream fucking on a bad day anyway or I'll order to Penny Avocado Slices K. From the pizzeria over here and and a thing of their jumbo wings Oh so good when it comes to jumbo wings. What's Your Go-to Mine? Hot teriyaki everytime getting wakes they have just like this Buffalo Shit. That's fire. Buffalo is fantastic. Don't get me wrong. I Love Buffalo Wings but hot teriyaki in butter toss fried wings. Get the fuck Outta here. Then you get one of those freedom fries or a waffle fry depending on what fucking weird state. You grew up in dip debt in the Buffalo Teriyaki sauce. All my God beaten on tonight. Yeah I got yeah faulk. If I'M GONNA get gross get gross. It's Thursday fuck it dude. I work out in the pool. Now are doing synchronized swimming doors. A really good swimmer. I know that so I swim. Do my laughs and then I have kettlebells in there. I do kettle bell workouts in the pool. Nice How's your therapy? It's great now. Did you get the actual? Thera- gun or did you get the pro? That's like six hundred bucks. No the one I got I was like Like to seventy or something so thera gun but because they have like the Thera- gun like Puerto one that's small. Yeah get it. Oh my God third on your tits. I'm going to gun might neck right now to see gun. Your neck auto to is also did. I also bought this like sleeve that you put in the freezer because I haven't haven't really bad shin-splints on my left lake and Just not stretching enough to be honest with you but and my ankle. Mobility is trash. Eventually that fucks up everything but so I bought that. So I've been icing my leg and gunning my leg and it's helped like yesterday. My life was totally fine. Can here Oh my yeah succinct singer. T pain so What's what's the drink now. What was the first one? Oh ready SPA out. The I almost felt like I'm gonNA throw up for some reason but you ever like just gone in these legs. You know this feels like when you make When you make mashed potatoes going around wapping what what did you say? Okay fuel so weird right now I just oh okay anyway. That's really all I have to say to you. I don't really have much more to talk to you about. I think this episode has gone off the rails long enough. Yeah and I think we crushed at the only other thing the last thing I wanted to ask you a creating more work for myself. I don't care I'm going to say did you see the video. The goats running around. Yes would you be terrified or would you be like? This is the coolest thing I've ever seen. I'd bring on the goats I would need to try and ride one of these goats. You can kill it. Go like that you can. They can't support now. There has to be a a goat that could support twenty. I mean I'm sure there's a massive goat. Fuck mega a goat. Like a big goat out there. That could decade. Hold you up but I also think that you know. I'm not trying to go up and if you see a whole bunch of goats right yeah and then you just fucking see me all the way in the back on talking mega go. You're like this is the ultimate flex fucking circumcise. Fuck off light sneakers riding a goat into battle through the streets of San Jose California. You're killing it. Yeah that is that is incredible stuff and you have OSHAF. You just have like a weird fucking like like a hat that like a wizard would wear killing i. Damn I don't even know what that is. This magic Dan. What yeah that'd be what? Yeah I need a ride an animal. It's been too long and I think I'm doing when quarantine is over is going to ride a jet ski in an animal. Same Day I need a ride in animal so bad dude like camel or something or like you know horse her horses they hurt your groin. I'll just put up with it. I just want to thing moves day. I WANNA go. Whoa WHOA and stops go now. I'd be afraid you're being on a horse. That's sprinting. I'd be so fucking scared dude. I don't know how a horse is real. Have you ever touched a horse's head it's huge and it's and it's solid it's granite? Yeah took anything. Faster than a game of Thrones Trot would make me Shit my pants if I was on a horse. And it's like I'd like we lose. I mean I'd be fall off but like you had to like you have to run. You do the tone like you have to accept arrival. Ticketed this. Yeah you can't be up there otherwise you're going to be drunk girl in Nashville trying on a ride. A mechanical bull thrown off that Shit which was very fun it. Yes but you have to. You have to ride this horse as it rides you. It's it's a mutual ride pound my sack it would. Everyone thought I did write a horse and had the call my dad to get verified. Daddy not ride a horse because because you said you were mad young and I'm like why would anyone put a small boy on a giant horse. You'd put that on a pony. Just thought I saw your dad walking around the streets Fort Lauderdale for you have no idea. How fucking hilarious and probably possible. That would he's wearing. Ny empty shirt. He looks just like your fucking Dad. My Dad the other day called goes he's goes Jill. Listen you know when I go the supermarket. Now they have these things that you gotta stay six feet away from people. I said work two months into a quarantine I know like the whole world is. He thought he discovered this fucking. Oh my God the Walmart at my house. Has this amazing thing. I'm like Dad. No one can go outside. You GotTa get him on Morning Meeting. Oh God be the longest morning meeting in history. Trying get on there. It would be a morning fuck an morning and evening meeting shadow. Papa Joe Yeah all right well I think we can wrap it up here guys again. I'm going to reiterate here okay. Four thousand patrons Danny slices. That penis cuts the skin. I'm witted the lotion on the skin on with it. Yeah you have to come with me though. I wouldn't miss it for the world. I'm going to start looking into New York doctors now. Twenty Twenty one point been getting ready to get. Yeah Dude. You're not gonNA have a fire dictated. Yeah have a fire. Dick Elliott Ro. I'm losing weight again. My Dixit fucking glowing up Danny Twenty. Twenty one season is ready. Bro. Gloves season is ready. Well where can they follow your Your progress here. You can follow my progress Dangelo Priori on instagram and twitter. Please make sure to go. Check out the PODCAST. We are uploading Patriot episodes every week. Now so that's very fun. New episodes every Friday on Youtube youtubecom slash sustained also check out our patron patriots dot com slash thanked podcast and join our patriots up. Pay For my Dick both ridiculous. Yeah go check out. I've been driving videos on my Youtube Channel. Youtube dot com slash. Joe Santa Gatto. We're recording other people's lives now without becoming out at the end of. May which I think it'll be out by the time I don't know but make twenty eight or something. I don't fucking know in two weeks but yeah anyway. Go follow us on Instagram at the basement yard Patriot again patriot dot com slash the basement. And not as all. So you guys. Next time stiffs.

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