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If you're ready to take action and prevent hair loss, go to keeps dot com slash guide receive your first month of treatment for free. That's K. E. E. P., S. dot com slash guide. Hello, and welcome to the complete guides. Everything a podcast at everything I'm one of your host Tom. Tim Tim Mary during this week Tom I am full of lettuce Whoa is that a euphemism or you actually full events ladas? It's both enchiladas are sloppy food am I, right? Yeah. But here's the thing. If if you know how to approach it you're gonna be okay fork and knife don't try to. Like a monster I know but that but the thing is the Burrito is such a beautiful invention because of how you can eat it with your hands and anytime look I like enchiladas. I don't WanNa be on the wrong side of history here but I enjoy. Holding a Burrito, cradling it in my hands and I don't anytime I've tried to. If I've gotten a Burrito that started to fall apart. And I approach with the knife fork. It's no good but you're right an Enchilada I can with a knife before because it's just inherently messy. So it's fine. Yeah. To things Tom I don't like cradling a big Burrito in my hands as I'm eating it I love reason. I don't like doing that with like a big messy burger like when I used to love five guys burgers The problem is diarrhea right after no stop it sats talknet all the time big problem man I'm just telling you from my perspective that that's my big. That's why I never have five guys. It's delicious but I love five guys. But, my thing is I. Get anxious because I think I'm afraid it's GonNa fall apart. So idea put it down Oh yeah and I wind up eating. Burger in like literally less than two minutes and I do the same thing with big Burritos, right? I Never WanNa, put it down because as soon as I put it down some of the stuff like falls out of the top, and then it's not the perfect Iberians I do that a lot with I'm a big whopper on a road trip guy. And if you're driving and eating a whopper. A you're taking your life in your own hand. But you put that offer down. There's no place to put it down. But if you put it in your lap or you handed to someone, it's immediately going to start falling apart making a mess. And that's GONNA. Make it that much harder to eat while you're driving your. Your original grip has to be the grip that you stick with. It falls apart when you put it down, it's just when you pick back up your regrouping it and that just that screws up the structural integrity that you had established with your original grip. Yeah. Yeah. Keep that I grip tight be smart about that. I grip and I would suggest if you're driving don't make your first grip a two handed grip because. Trouble. Javanese they. They just had one of these stories about. The, I like talking about the news like. Like an old man. Now we'll get on I have a Lotta man things to say today as you may hear the new thing the new thing that old people say is it was on facebook. From. FACEBOOK's Cesspool. Did you see on facebook this half is I. Know I know. I would sooner take like a baby boomers word if they told me, he was on four. Chan. IVIG. Can consider the source was on facebook well, and it's like well I think at least four. Chan. Even though that's also accessible doesn't have like an algorithm to promote the worst thing. You have to go out and find the worst things on four Chan. Whereas facebook will just. facebook knows. A person look I should not be friends with this person anymore but a person that I don't even know in real life them facebook friends with that I hate that I can't stand in facebook understands that and Sansa push notifications when this person has posted to facebook because they know like wait till you see the shit, they posted today. Could you imagine in highschool somebody told you like you'll carry around a device with you twenty four hours a day in this big. Company run by this weird. Man. We'll send you notifications at the most inopportune times when you're going about your day. About somebody you hate posted something. About somebody you hate their opinion on some right. Their opinion that that machine has figured out like, ooh, he's Tom's going to have the opposite opinion of this. Let's tell them about. Parents will use this stuff. A little love. This company that does this. Well, and also. Yeah I if this were what like fifteen, twenty years ago. Twenty five years guys like well, tell me more about this device. Oh, it has a camera that is the most unbelievable camera ever seen. It plays video games that blow away everything on your current device. You can read any newspaper in the world on you can read any book in the world. You can watch any movie. There are services, Regis, pay a few dollars a month, and you can watch a movie music, Oh my God ten dollars, and any song that's ever been recorded. You can listen to but you'll primarily use it to just view opinions you strongly disagree with from virtual strangers. So it's a wonderful world we live in. Yeah, and the device is expensive and there's monthly fee associated with it. Yes Oh enchiladas I you were saying. that. There is a story that they came out with a story. About enchiladas I don't know if can tell we started talking about facebook Oh I don. Oh, talking about driving with your knees, oh. Yeah. It was a story about. How? Couple got pulled over were going ninety miles an hour I. think Canada. Maybe, and they were both asleep in their tesla with the with the with the driver and passenger seat reclined all the way both episode sound asleep. But the car going ninety miles an hour down the down the highway could you imagine having a having that much faith in anything learn Elon Musk a guy who if you crash into something you just go. Slow. They must have been pedophile. They must have been pedophile sears a me my made about it. Tom This was the first time. Eaten and she'll lettuce white. No I've never I never saw a need for them I. To exotic for you to ethnic, you know what? I didn't I couldn't wrap my head around. Saas yet is a lot of sauce. It's just it's literally drowned in Saas Yeah and to me I was just like. Click I'm a saas man. You know me they called me the sauce man while you're more of a dip guy. Saatsmen carruthers which I think the difference between a dip in a sauce is wider than you would think because at dip is You have control over dip. You don't have much control over a sauce if the if the sauces put on before and you getting pre apply a sauce, you cannot reapply dip. But. You choose how much of the dip you're applying to the to the thing you're dipping with every single day that that's what I'm saying. With the sauce I don't know I can put as much sauces I want on something but on an if you're like, well, you made these enchiladas at home. Heke down. There's a pandemic on. Well, I'm just saying if you ordered enchiladas. You get whatever amount of sauce, the CHEF teams appropriate. That's true. Yeah. No I made them myself and nobody can say a chef can't can't just mandate like now this is very dip heavy. There's GonNa be a lot of. They can try they can give you a lot of dip-. and very few chips or vegetables or whatever to encourage you I. feel like they've been doing that to me lately they begin any. A Lot. Let's. Ship. Say you're referring to the deep state? Tim? Have you been on facebook too much I. I don't know who the if there's some sort of collusion in in amongst the kitchen staff at my local takeout joints. Yeah. But if something comes with with a Chip of some sort and a dip. Their light on the chips these days in heavy on the dip. To load every chip that that's one of things I miss most about restaurants when you're at a restaurant where. You can tell you can tell when you're at a restaurant where they make their own chips and they're heavy handed with them and their free with them. You know we're the chips flow like wine. And they don't care like a good Mexican restaurant. They don't care of a really good mix really good Mexican restaurant. They won't even ask if you want more chip still just bring you more chips and that's heaven. That's my idea for nachos. Only restaurant was. It was maybe two or three different the. Very small menu and there's a few different types of of Nachos but everything came with also just aside bowl of plain chips. Yeah. That ball. That's good restaurant. So wait you order Nachos and then he side of plane ships with them. Yeah. Because don't you always want it when the when the first nachos fully loaded I'm talking about. Yeah come to your table. It's all the toppings wet and Dry Lake on there, right? Yeah. Sometimes like where's my angle here? Offers peace out there. If you have completely dry chip and you just treat that the top of those nachos seven layer dip get you started kind of cut through that. It's like a archaeology archaeologists digging up dinosaur bones. You can just kinda excavate their exactly. It's a much better situation. Exactly. I agree completely But yeah, I dismissed places with boot. They should look any place I've been to where they just freely give out chips. I love and I remember but places shoot advertise that they should advertise. We're not stingy with the chips. That could be a slogan for a place. That's GONNA. Be My Goddamn Nacho please If if you know they're all these like quick serve restaurants like Chili's and an applebees TGI Fridays if one of them just change their slogan to we're not stingy with the chips, they would become an monopoly. Honestly they would. Overnight, they would to speak on the government would have to step in. Yeah. Maybe, we should do that famously great time been a restaurant. Tim luck. This week's episode is I. Would I would say it's a very special episode of the complete guide to everything. This is like the Enchilada discussion no not because of the. Discussion him because last week people might remember that I talked about being on the Kito Diet and then mentioned that I got gout as a result of the Kito Diet. This is the first time we've had a multi episode. Character Arc. That's true. We've had topics that continue on but but honestly, the characters of Timid Tom have not not progress very much. Yeah. No, this is some great character development. This is like in the last season of Frazier Win Niles had a heart condition and they turned it into like very special episodes of Frasier. I think I tuned out by then Yeah I. Think it's like season nine. Yeah I was probably in college and. I guess I probably shouldn't be watching frazier anymore. Tabled for frazier. For the forced. The first sicko adventures. Doctors Crane Yeah. It's not so much of a farce anymore. It's getting too true to life but Yeah. So I mentioned that last week would I did not mention because it had not happened yet is that What I was calling Gal was gout ever. It was nothing compared to. What happened that night and the next day which was? Extreme Gout I. Probably not even extreme couches. Actual doubt Ho. My God. It was horrible. Tim. Now Tom Yeah. I'm trying to tread lightly here because you. First of all I'm sorry. I'm sorry that you're you're you're experiencing health issues. Yeah Allah. Let me also say that I'm I'm. Like. More or less completely better now. Okay. Good to hear. Happy to hear it. I feel like this episode might be a trap. Because I feel like you're trying to set me up to make light of doubt, right? You're about and you'RE GONNA, YOU'RE GONNA trap into being like you're gonNa tell me how many people die from it or you're gonNa tell me that like certain portions of the population are more susceptible to it. So I'm not gonNA try make any jokes. I'm GonNa give you a forum. To. Tell your story. So you don't trap me and get. I'm not trying to trap you get you canceled yes. On the on the grand scheme of things I'm trying to trap you get canceled one daddy that's. One day whole of this podcast. Yeah one day I. Hope to do that but I don't have any. dispersions that is going to happen deny tonight, just part of the gradual building up it'll be. You know like an exhibit Z. in in the trial for Tim's cancellation one day. I don't think people die from it. I can't imagine you dying from it based on what it is but. How people die from all kinds of crazy things if people die for it, it is not very. Common for people to die from it. Apparently according to the gout killer come. Well, of course, they're going to be biased him. You can die of of gapped. I that's what I said I you probably can but I don't think very many people do. As I was googling, do people die of Gout? As soon, as I type do people the first thing. The second thing. DO PEOPLE EAT POOP? Based on your previous searches Tim. So this duck duck, go my friend. Yeah. But they can they can. They're look at your Ip. Pretty. We don't like to use people's past history exception to they're they're like, we? We know for sure what this guy's looking for. Tim Will. Effect one to two percent of Westerner, stirring their life and that's not just cowboys I know what you're thinking. Yeah at first I thought. Wow, that's pretty cool town. You are pretty cool. So wrangling. With Your Chap's let me explain what it is. And why I got it through this Kito Janik Diet. It. Is An elevated level of uric acid in your blood. Uric acid is expelled through urine tim. Are you going to be mature enough to handle that? Yeah me talking about urine. Again Tom I'm. Not Making any jokes speak. Oh I guess it's not that much different than every other week. Go. Ahead. So story. You've got too much. Uric acid. Here's where the problem comes in this uric acid you're getting rid of normally through your PP. When it hangs around too long it decides to turn into crystals. Is this like a kidney stones? Yes. It can eventually turn into kidney stones. It's the same exact type of thing. But. What would what Gout is is that it? Normally happens in your feet for a lot of people in their big toe it did not happen for me and my big toe but. It's because like that's I. went to market. It did happen in the piggy went to market then the big Joe No, this Olympic you into market this little piggy came on this Olympic speed. This'll be it happened in the low piggy that didn't have roast beef and a little piggy that when we we we we all the way home, your little toe and your. Ring. Ring Yeah the toll. On all of your toes so Misleading. But if like a place is like we can have total rings on in here, I'll take them all off except for my ring to-. Right? Right. So the It's basically what is furthest away from your heart. That's where because your hearts pumps, all the blood we're. We're the year gas it just kind of get the builds up. You know it's the end of the line and it builds up and when it comes back. Yeah. But it comes back slower. You know what I mean it doesn't have the same velocity coming back from your feet as it does from like the other from your head or whatever. It's it's a little slow and it's it's leaving some some stuff behind some heavy stuff like uric acid. That turns into crystals and now tim you might think wow, pretty cool crystals I love crystals and crystals euro talking about the healing power of crystals. So yes, I'm shocked that you're claiming that crystals somehow made you sick but when uric acid in the crystals you know what these crystals resemble Tim Microscopic needles. They, basically into little tiny needles, we'll take needles inside your feet. Now when I told you yet got gout. was suffering at that time was a feeling it felt like you know when? You run a lot and you have like a lactic acid in your muscles or like you're you're working at your pumping iron. Just, you're. Tired. Now. You know that like burning feeling in your muscles. Times I, don't know I guess. It's like a burning feeling and it's just Kinda like sore. And that's what it felt like the night i. Feel like I could run like a hundred miles without getting sore. So I can't really relate but go on. That's what it felt like the night I spoke with you however later that evening I woke up in the middle of the night in unbelievable pain. The. Next day I had I swear to God the worst pain I've ever experienced in my life. It felt like somebody took my foot like a giant like Andre, the giant like my foot and just snapped it in half. Was it broken. No it felt like he was broken though it felt like every bone in my foot it felt like somebody dropped her refrigerator on my foot. From like five stories up and then I wasn't allowed to take the refrigerator off my foot. That's what it felt like it was unbelievable him. On, dear well. What I did ice it. fucking ice did. You think of icing it. I wasn't suggesting of it's just trying to. You've been talking for forty five minutes straight. I was going to interject I know that you probably iced it. That was probably the reasonable thing to do is just trying to trying to get a word in edgewise here. Well, you said, we're GONNA make any jokes I'm not making jokes I was asking you if you did the thing that you probably did I'm going to talk about the remedies tried and what finally worked later in the episode Tim that's called a tease. Wow. Okay Now, this is a bunch of pseudo say interest. You're saying like you're talking about blood velocity here. Compared to the blood velocity from your head no I mean. It's pseudo science pseudoscience that I made up. Yeah exactly. But that's not like pseudoscience just like. You haven't done any research into the no I tim. You have no idea three o'clock in the morning. I was up I would have thought I was. A graduate student at university the amount of research ailing you drag googling do people die of? Gal. Because he would have been alarmed by the resolve. Look I wasn't jumping rate to whether I'm going to die or not tim. I'm not fatalists I was trying to figure out how to solve my problem right away illicit trying to prevent yourself from dying. And then that would take care of what would knowing if people die from gout have solved ten know if you have to if you should consult an actual medical professional. I always frown upon that regardless. Nice. Gal It's been around Tim for thousands of years which I guess makes sense. There's this guy I want to read this quote from you his name was. Alice Cornelius sell us. And this is in thirty the year thirty. Good records from there. Must have. been. Wacky. Back then like, Oh, boy, I remember when that happened back in twenty one. Remember that yeah. Najim being born in the years zero. By. How old you are? Yeah. Oh this guy, this is three years before. Jesus. Bit, the Big One. That's not how it works down. Why wasn't Jesus Year? Zero know. What. That's what it is. You he then you think. Did. You think years zero was when he died. I don't know. Eighty one. yeah. I don't think there was an eight zero. CAL counters been screwed up ever since anyway this guy I guess he was like a doctor. Dr Thousand Years Ago and just trying to figure out what the Hell's going on with anything. He wrote again, thick urine. The sediment of from which is white I don't think that was urine pal indicates that pain disease or to be apprehended in the region of joints or viscera joint troubles in the hands and feet are very frequent and persistent Baba these seldom attack UNIX or boys before quite koshen. Kotas, like codeless Code Code Sex Sex with the one or women except in those whom the menzies have been suppressed have become suppressed. Some have obtained lifelong security by refraining from wine mead and Venneri. Adventurous No Bonin. Okay. So the virgins don't get it just saying. Yeah to answer your question. What was my question whether or not I'm a virgin still. Great, glad we had this conversation. But. Oh, I want to say so I was looking up like what causes it and a lot of it was like I said last week is I was in Ketosis and I guess like the the Kito. Whatever cells are like, Hey, get out of the way we wanted to get out through the P. And then you don't piano the the uric acid like normally do. You just pee more I was trying to pay as much as I could. hydrating. I thought I was, but apparently I wasn't Would can all of this been avoided if you were like super ultra hydrated. I don't know. It. Certainly can hurt. I think honestly and you're GonNa make fun of me but well, no, I'll tell you what happened. So let me. When I was looking this up, it said the top foods that can cause us our shrimp. Organ meat. Dried mushroom seaweed and beer yeast chicken and potatoes also appear related. To big problems the first one. All that shrimp Activity was free all you can eat shrimp. Man I've talked about the time I went to red lobster during a shrimp fest. All, you got out. I didn't get Gal but like. I you know I, see the commercials I can eat shrimp and you're like, well, that's interesting. I'd like to see what that's about went to red lobster. Not by myself that time. And I was eating shrimp and they tell you okay all you can eat shrimp. Here's how it's GonNa work. We need there I think like six different shrimp dishes. You tell us the first two you want. Now it's like and they sat all I can have just like variations those soon they're like, no you can have any of the six, but we just need to know the first two, and then once you eat the first one, we can get started on the third one basically. Yeah. They're looking at not waste food. you can't say you know at the start off all of one hundred shrimp. That's fair. The problem is that also there aren't any. Stirs Take Part in this deal. Because when I was having the shrimp, they were like on top of me like woody. Alright. What shrimp do you want next back? All right I guess garlic shrimp or a you had one of those. Do you want X. Popcorn shrimp and then finally I got shrimp. Blue One, hundred percent not cooked. I say guys like it's okay if it's going to take a minute and I think this restaurant was just like so used to being screened at for like. You're trying to fill a buster my all you can eat shrimp you're trying to slow me down. So they served you Russia and yes because there were like, oh, otherwise, you know this guys like anybody else that comes in for this is going to blow his top if we don't always have three shrimp dishes on his table for him to eat. Yeah one time I went to happen get the unlimited pancakes. I know about this. Bully, maybe more and more DOA PUKE that the I. This week's episode is sponsored by Pay Pal are normal has changed, and we're all finding new ways to connect and continue sport supporting one another Sometimes that's you know things donating to a 'cause like Greek causes out there right now which you know we should all be donating to if were able to we've started social distancing when we spend time with our friends and explorer local cuisine, we all know that and we're doing more to support an advocate for underrepresented communities. So what we need more than ever is an easier way an easy way to support each other from afar with the pay pal. 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Here here's my tip Google if you can die from Gal Gallo. Google die from it. I do have some tips. I can tell you what worked for me by the end of this and also Tom Jesus was born in four BC. That doesn't make any sense he was born in four before Christ. How? Tim. Where are you looking at what we saw eighty dot com hell dot org you can't believe they say about Jesus. Wikipedia wasn't even around when Jesus was born. How would they know? Is Or is it one of those corrections where it's like like one year everybody forgot what year it was because it was like so new. So they were like, I guess it's like fifteen, the A, and then later on there was like Nah as eleven but it's fine it is into this is from got questions dot org. Okay. It is interesting to note that the purpose of the BBC ad's dating system was to make the birth of Jesus Christ, the dividing point of world history however. When the BBC a D. system was being calculated, they actually made a mistake in pinpointing the year of Jesus's birth scholars later discovered that Jesus was actually born around six to four BC not eighty one. When did they come up with all this stuff? That I. Don't Know Twenty Sixteen. Honesty hard to believe the Ha if it's if it's on Guy Questions Dot Org and I guess I have to believe it. was just an educated guess on my part. Sit Tim. Beyond not peon enough. Why? What Caused Mike Out? And there were two things and one of which is your fault. The town I haven't been in the same physical space if you in six months. We've been in the park together and we ran into each other outside by that's true. the the first one is that I, went from. Essentially. So my girlfriend's a vegetarian and you know you're a vegetarian though like I like vegetarian food I don't mind it. So I had been eating essentially. So you're you're classic soy. I do like soya I won't I can't lie about that. I do like Tofu Louis admit that you are a classic soy sure I'll admit them a classic soy. I. So I essentially went from being a vegetarian to eating like a ton of meat all the time when I went to. Kito, south because you have to eat a lot of fat and then the Kito Diet became a carnivore. Yeah, I was trying not to necessarily. But that just wound up being easy because again like I then was not eating the same as my girlfriend. So a lot of times it was like all right. Well, I'm making food just for me and if I'm not making food for somebody else were if somebody else's making food for me then I'm GonNa just. Make. The laziest meal possible. So as not only. Meat I was eating a lot like process meat. Like beef jerky and things like that. Diet where Beef Jerky. Diets it's mostly like deceit fat eat as much fat as you can and I thought I was doing an okay job at that but I guess I wasn't Her maybe I wasn't. It just wasn't doing enough. So I'll tell you I wasn't I wasn't eating enough vegetables. That's definitely a big part of it now is that is that the part that was my fault? No. Although the night after I talked to you, I ate for dinner just a bowl of Brussel sprouts and that didn't even solve anything. The part that's your fault is that I think it was the beer I had the night I was talking to you. Not Talking to you doing the podcasts. That's what like really kicked into overdrive. Did I buy that here no. But you told me that I have to drink beer when we record or else y'all. And then you always trail off. I've asked you just the threat is implied. Leave many times not to drink during the podcast I've actually gathered in the past groups of your friends and family members. Yes. Those are bag you to stop drinking. Those aren't real real friends and family members. They don't. They don't know they. They're getting a small picture of it. So anyway, those are the two things that I think took it to the next level. And like I said, woke up woke up just in. Unbelievably horrific pain Tim I'm sending you a text right now I'd like you to look at your phone. I do I WANNA look at this look at your phone check out this tax I see it's an image. My God you're okay. See your left foot. It's a picture of your feet. Yeah. Where it's Because your your phone I know has is just full filled to the brim pictures feet. Because my feet though. I don't know. I don't know about that Your left foot seams nice normal nice. Thank you. Normal I'd say. Not Grotesque Yeah compared to your right foot, which is swollen and red the end. Frankly. Quite sickening. Yeah. And that wasn't even as bad as it looked tim, I was expecting a much more visceral response from you is surprising you at that text message. I guess it's not that grossly again. There certainly grocer pictures online. Yeah no and when I started doing research. Just to see if I was allowed to try to make jokes or if like you. To people die from couch. Yeah I saw some some some truly disturbing pictures and I figured you know what? I'll just let Tom. It's one. So that's what my foot look like and it like you could see how like my it's all like a curled up my foot. Yeah. That was that was just what it was. I could not walk on it. was like I I don't have like a crutcher Kane, but I could've used one because I. Just I. couldn't put any weight on it it, which is unbelievably painful like I said like somebody dropped her frigerator on it. But you do hop on one foot everywhere. No. I. Didn't even do that because like I know it hurts so much. I couldn't even hop on the other foot. I didn't trust my balance. So I I because you were drunk. By then I wasn't drunk that was the worst part. So I heard looking into remedies and here is a list of about. I have like twenty remedies year I tried baby like fifteen of these. In desperation I one this is in the middle of the night last. Last Thursday. The night into the morning. I one we all know this one ice. Okay Yeah See. I try. Jerk for for bringing it up. because. I wanted to. One thing. I tried ice it helped a little bit. It didn't help that much though. Then I tried during a lot of water. That didn't help that much and also then at a p a lot. So I keep getting up, which is a big problem when I couldn't put any weight on one of my feet when his park park yourself on the tear `let. I've lost too many days doing that as it is Tim. Looking. We're GONNA spend my life on a toilet. You know they spent they say we spend a third of our lives on toilets. That's. True. Of Our lives. Yeah. Tim. Learning. First Day. Yeah. Look it up. So wait does it all just like catch up at some point? He's I haven't been I haven't been. Our it's Oh. Jeez that doesn't give me much. To look forward to now. Yeah. So. Then, I used Ibuprofen. which you might know from its brand name advil. That I don't, I, don't take advil time. Jim. I can't tell you how many times on this podcast you've mentioned that you don't think aspirin or Ibuprofen work, and then later in real life or on the podcasts I, he works my God like I had some pain and I took Ibuprofen and the pain went away now it's not true. It's not strong. It's not very strong and like it doesn't. People take it too much. Oh, absolutely like it's not good for you to take a lot. Because again, give stomach ulcers and stuff it's tough on the Old Tummy But I took a you know a bunch advil that did help a little bit a little bit. It took the edge off for a little while. Then I took some magnesium, I had some magnesium pills took that to see if magnesium pills tim, I have like a pharmacy in my home. I have every type of pill you could ever imagine. What yeah. Prescription and nonprescription I don't have that may prescription drugs. But. Magnesium just seems like a weird like I could see like I got Sudafed I. Got Nyquil I got wall on Aspirin I got advil but like freaking. Him You should try take him magnesium Timmy pry don't get enough of it as a vegetarian i. take a multi. Yeah. Well. Okay. So. Yeah and I'm sure as magnesium minute. Yeah. But I think only a psychopath. Pill. Bottle of magnesium pills, it's not but. What was the game when you bought imagining just like a silver metallic pill that I? Read that made you go out and buy at. Him I. Don't know and honestly there's so many different like supplements in my bathroom that I'll look at them and Mike. I don't even remember what I ordered this for but I think you would turn you into ironman no tim would be iron pills you idiot Neil that's why I bought all those iron pills. apples and bananas. I didn't have any apples and bananas celery. have. Hundreds of magnesium pills the moment. fucking apples. Well the magnesium pills keep tim apples don't keep. Salary I did have salary I ate some seller. Really Yeah. Using the celery for I was eating the celery with like almond butter or Kranz. Yeah, well like I kidnapped advance. You can't have raisin snake in every season. No no fruit really at all again, have fruit now. See. Many carbs too much sugar. Yikes it's you know having some fruit is better than having like a Hershey's bar whatever but still you gotta manage it. Yeah. Make sure you don't have. The whole thing is you don't want your blood. SUGAR TO SPIKE RIGHT? That's what you're apt. He goes. Yeah. this Kito Diet almost killed you. It didn't must kill me but it did I mean is one of the most painful things like I said you put you in the most pain you've ever been. It was going to say it's one of the most painful things I've ever done to myself but no it absolutely it's the most painful thing I've ever experienced and it was a one hundred percent my fault. Fish Oil I took some. Some fish oil that didn't help. I'm not even done in one night. Elevating your leg. Eating your leg ever work. Yes. I don't think so. I might not get long enough when your foot hurts. Cesium pills right. I did not have ciders. Does does it accelerate to the blood? Who that kind of makes sense actually not your average was making. Making Fun of you know it does make sense savvy. I had the uric acid my foot. If I hold my foot up, it's GONNA fall out of there. He didn't have a Tom. I've been taken. A is I call it apple cider vinegar. Every night before bed. I. Never liked the idea of apple cider vinegar only because when you buy it, it's as apple cider vinegar with the mother the mother. Yeah. You gotta get over the fact that it's with the mother and that's just like a clump of bacteria. That is in. That's the thing. It's not only the grossest way to refer to something. There's also the grossest thing you can imagine yes. You shake it up enough it kind of breaks effort. You pour a couple of tablespoons into some hot water and you'll be okay. I understand why you're not doing that. You might be able to break up the mother, but he can't get rid of her. Now I mean I. I, I'm actually surprised. I don't have any of that on hand but that just always and look I understand that it's very good for you. But is one of those things that suggested as like a cure for so much that I just don't believe it does anything. Yeah, as a gag gift because I was taking. So much of it my wife had gotten me like a Hippie book about the healing powers of apple cider vinegar. Yeah and it was just like every like every ailment. Users seventy pages in the book and it was every ailment and it was like dosage two tablespoons. Right, litter is that okay. So if somebody. was minor aches two tablespoons brain cancer to. Exactly. And like so I. If I just took two tablespoons of his every day I would be invincible. Yeah. So that's why I never really trust that but I I have. If I had it, I certainly would have tried it. He ever had acid reflux Tom not? Really. Really, it that. I take it. Tonight is in the ENCHILADAS. I had a bunch of water with electrolytes. I have an electrolyte powder that I was drinking. That did a lot of powders in your in your home. Yeah. That didn't really do much either lemon juice I had. I. Did have some fresh lemons here. So sucking on lemons and drink and lemon juice. That didn't do anything. baking? Soda. Put some baking soda in a in a glass with some water and drink the baking soda that did do anything. Do you think all these remedies canceled each other out? Now, because from. Seeing it sounded like all these remedies are. Yeah that they wouldn't cancel each other out that they're either attacking different elements of this. Like some of these remedies. They're causing your body to produce less uric acid. Some of the remedies are breaking up uric acid some are flushing your system. So i. felt confident that you know what I'm just going to throw and I was a little bit worried at first because I was like I'm just GonNa take everything in them not going to know what the hell actually worked. But I was in such extreme pain that I could not give less of a shit. I just wanted the pain to go. Tim I'll tell you the two things that worked. The first thing and a surprise because again, this is one of those things that you know is is held up as a cure for everything CBD. Now I tried CBD cream. That I have see oh yeah I tried cbd cream and I try cap sin cream like heat cream I couldn't even feel it on my feet on my foot that's how much it hurt. Caps in is that is that that's a can't line. That's like what is in the seeds of like a hot pepper? Yeah. That's like the hot the IT's not icy hot it's just hot. I tried some of that's up remember I had that stuff tim when we were in London last year I had like back pain 'cause I was like. Slept Weird on the plane and I bought some like role on cream and that I was telling you like it felt like I was going to go to the hospital because Oh. Yeah you got. The Heat Green. Way Too hot. They gotta get some more regulations over there because they shouldn't be selling this up but I put it on my foot couldn't even feel it. And then the CBC cream can feel it. I. CD. tincture that didn't really do anything what worked was I had some CBD flower the actual like just pure cbd and I smoke that. Like it were marijuana itself that helped. This story. Seem suspect why? You smoked just the legal part of now idea because I wouldn't have wanted to get stoned or anything like that would have just made me like paranoid about. Then I would have been googling. Can You die from doubt? I can't smoke pot because my my baseline. Can You die from? Not. Paranoid as a step up from that no this CBD So I had it for a while because mostly out of curiosity of wow. This is wacky and just by CBD, that looks like we'd like it is just the actual flower whatever but I was like I'm so desperate that was like, let me try smoking some of this and it did it was the only thing that it did not fix it or anything, but it did help I'll tell you what your kids drugs work. Legal drugs were legal legal in all fifty states. I'll tell you what actually did work tim steroids. Steroids. Do you have steroids at your your no I did a tell. visit no I did telemedicine visit. I sent a doctor the same gross picture of my foot that I just sent you and I, said Look I've made some dietary changes and I think I've got gout. And this really hurts. Is there anything I could take for this and she said, yes steroids and she said I'll have a man come bring empty your apartment, and that's what happened and as soon as I took the steroid. Send them to you. is like a courier service like oh. Wow. How long delivery? So the the actual like. telehealth thing I think didn't come onto like nine am when I got a response I was up all night and then the first delivery available was noon. So that was when I finally and even that I was like there's like a pharmacy on my corner I should have just done there and you gotta consultation at nine am yeah. And the drugs were delivered to your door by courier service at noon. Yeah. And they say the US healthcare system is is fucked up and all I have to do tim is I pay about seven hundred and fifty dollars a month for that healthcare service that. Then allowed me to not have to. I didn't even realize I didn't speak to a doctor I sent her a text message and a photo, and she sent me a text message back saying like, yeah. All right here steroids. Nice and then gets better drugs through that way to pretty easy. Yeah, I don't know I've the only thing I've used this for is that an asthma inhaler but you're right tim I should try and see. What I could get out of this I was at the point where if this woman was like you need some opioids, our that like that sounds great I will risk addiction because this hurt so bad I just WanNa. Saw My leg off. Sounds like you're in a tight spot. Wasn't a very tight spot I can't tell you. It was unbelievable I. Can I have so much sympathy now for? People that deal with this and like. I'm not get forty. I will be sooner rather than later. But apparently it's it gets worse over forty did get gout and is the most common form of arthritis in people over forty. I watched the film. This is forty last night. Yeah. Oh. Yeah. Phil I it. I saw when it came out I remember really liking it and I was thinking about it somewhat recently if like. Would this be super depressing to watch now? I mean, here's the thing I think polera is like forty seven when he's in that movie. Yeah. That was the other thing I was thinking about like he wasn't forty. and. It's also like, but also when you're watching the movie or like this guy is at forty, twenty seven. But also, it's kind of like this is forty if you're like a rich, Hollywood guy lays like. himself. He's playing just appetite essentially. So yeah, that's true Yep. Jet Apoptosis wife in that movie. Yeah. and it's just like L. era my like Vanity Record label made me. Rich. Man. And my wife's store that nobody ever goes to putting a the you know that's putting us in. Financial distress we might have to sell our giant home downsides a little bit and like that's Presented as like the worst thing that could ever happen to anybody is it present now I think that's exaggerating I may have seen awhile but presented as like the worst thing. No, it's presented as. The thing that's putting a strain on their marriage probably like which. Realize that's happened to yeah exactly. But like it's very, it's definitely difficult to be like. The stakes for viewer who is not A Rich Los. Angeles resident is just GonNa like. Buy a slightly smaller house like your house is huge and beautiful and like you're talking about your money problems and then you throw yourself in insanely lavish fortieth birthday party. Things you can do to take these stresses off like I. Feel like if people I know are having financial problems it's not like. you. Might have to move in with my parents. Yeah. I was GONNA say. I find that in in why goose I even stories in real life to that there are things where people have, what kind of store she running in that. A clothing store. Yeah. But so things like that where it's Kinda like a vanity project almost where it's like Oh, this business hasn't turned even close to a prophet in three years as like Oh, well, then that just doesn't work. And people that don't have Yeah. Infinite money or whatever earn I. Guess Not Infinite but does like deep pockets realized that much sooner and are like, Oh, I have to shift something or stop this try something else yet I look I think it's a great movie and feel like a lot of it. Centers around the problems that result from financial stress and that's not real financial. You're right because the end of the day they're still rich people they might just have to get rid of like like one of the things is Albert Brooks plays the Dad. And? They're like, oh. You lent your you secretly lint. You're dead eighty thousand dollars and that's why you're in. Trouble like he if I eighty thousand dollars to lend dad and also to lend secretly we're like, yes, nobody will notice eighty thousand dollars missing. Anyway, it's a great film, but it also feel like I still watch it as a thirty eight year old and be lake. Like man grownups lives even complex. Does he forget to see gig out in that movie at all get out? Yeah. There's a part where is like looking at his bottle right in and I don't think happens in the butthole Jesus Christ I hope not the last thing I'll say about gout the thing that I like the least. Is that The term Gowdy is a thing like a medical term. Gouty, gowdy. So like if you came with Gout at a hospital, they would say, Oh, I have a gowdy patient. He has a gouty foot. I don't. Say He's got out. Just say. Out He has gout in his foot. Yeah. that was worse than the pain that was knowing that there were couty exemple worse than the pain I've never felt I've never experienced before my life. Yeah. Well Tom. In conclusion. I'm sorry you got out. Thank you. But I think it's very funny. Look it's funny to me in retrospect like I'm I'm more or less fine. I've been having a real problem taking the steroids when I should just because it's hard. It's not of those I gotta take it every two days. It's one of those like take seven today and tomorrow take six and. So I don't I'm taking them it's fine I feel A. Like I said, as soon as I took it, I felt much much better. I slept for a few hours because I hadn't slept woke up feeling more or less normal. I'm well on the road to recovery I know a lot of people were probably worried about me last week but. Assured I'll be back in fighting form. Now. Now I'm sorry. I'm back back back. Ready for. and. If you like the show, you can find more t dot com you can check out our facebook facebook dot com slash complete guide follow us on twitter I complete guide. You can follow me on twitter and Instagram at Tom Reynolds. Phony, at your pal ten, Watt support the show checkout Patriot dot com slash complete guide where our patron is for books podcast this week, we're doing to sweet valley high date with a van with a Werewolf. I went on a day with a Werewolf I forget the name is Sweet Valley High Book One Oh five if your date with the where a date with aware wolf finished that book be talking to Tim about it and then next week we'll be doing Another Sweet Valley High Book It's a lot of fun pager on dot com slash complete guide. You get all the back episodes too. So not too bad. Not Too. Shabby. Tom So are you is that play? That's all that's all I'm GONNA. Buy Some. Fram, stuff. Not a sponsor this week. But shirt, I, know I dislike Fram Are you still on the Keto Diet I'm not but I'm hoping to go back on it. I'm hoping there. Because other than that I, it was good other than that I liked it. Other than that like I felt better when I was on it except for. The worst the worst you've ever felt in your entire life. Yeah. But just in one part of my body, the rest of my body felt great. Right I mean like I said last week I'm at the very lease. Trying to cut out a lot of process carbs. Yeah. So I think you should eat more vegetables. Yeah. Oh, hundred percent and My girlfriend was fantastic taking care of me when I was sick and then she just. Made like a huge roasted vegetable thing for dinner that night with Tahini, that like I always like to begin with. But then it was like exactly what I needed just like Broccoli and peppers. Kale other vegetables, vegetables that I like I do like vegetables. You got a funny way shown it well. There were certain vegetables I could need on the site, and then the other ones were difficult to cook and it was easier to just eat beef jerky. Since you're GONNA end this. This episode by farting loudly saw that's I. Don't think that even showed up on the final episode. Did it. Now. Get here when I muted the you. Maybe, that'll be a patron exclusive here last week's Fart. Right, CNN. That was a hit gum podcast.