Episode 39: Diving into Dadding! (w/ music producer Ruwanga Samath)
Hey. She got him but this one. is so so. Let's take them bed come on. Hey remember back in a black in summertime when the sidewalk. So. That the heat from the street almost Moshe flip flops. Shows and leave. You will hosing your socks a city slickers. There was no voter response. PORNA- Mr Warren. Off The KNOB on somewhat. Vocal welcome back Oman. Do Data's future fathers, potential parents and everyone else tuning in, and this is dad hard with the podcast as always i. am your host Mogi Green Happy Quarantine? Hate saying that every week, but it sounds so good. We're going to keep it going, but anyway what's going on this is dad hard with a podcast as always to connect on a fatherhood, brotherhood, shoes email that potter mill dot Com boss on Instagram at Dad, hard pot and check out the website. We that hard dot com facebook also fees dot com slash dad, hard pot What's up before we jump into this week's festivities I wanNA give a huge huge major shoutout to all of the wives that. That participated in the Father's Day Extravaganza episode so that it was that's episode thirty eight. This is episode thirty nine. So it's the one that's going to be right after this one as you're listening to it if you did not get a chance to listen to that, it is spectacular specifically, because it was a surprise for all of the Dads, who got tribute tributes from their wives on on the podcast, and as I, sent the link to them individually, just seeing their surprise and amazement me an appreciation. Of their wives, being able to come on and do that was absolutely fantastic. I've got some stories back Oh my God you spoke such a motion. We started looking at baby pictures and just thinking about it. It was it was a cool experience? An episode is just really fun. Was it was a complete switch up for what we normally do on here. But it was very meaningful given that it was father's Day so new definitely was the definition of extravaganza forefathers day You. Know if you'RE GOING TO CELEBRATE DAD'S Got To do the same thing you know, so I just wanted to celebrate some of the that I've on the show to those. That did it get those special tributes. Don't worry. I got some surprising too bad for you guys to you. Just wait with that said. This is week forty six. Doubting for me and it just keeps getting reeler in reeler that my daughter is about to turn one years old, and I have actually been this thing called. For a year Sometimes it feels like I've been a dad for three weeks. Sometimes it feels like I've been a dad four twenty three years but the reality is is that hasn't even been a year yet. We're still about six weeks out from from my daughter's first birthday and. It, it's such a cool thing to just be seeing her. Grow and I talk about it every every week. Parents, you know exactly what I'm talking about watching growth progress and this year mark is really kind of for the benchmark, the big benchmark too big benchmark for the for the child, but it's really a big benchmark for us as parents because you know what we kept. These frigging kids alive for a whole. Year that's fifty two weeks. That's three hundred sixty five days. Do you know how hard it is to keep them in a lot of three hundred sixty five days? That's completely your responsibility. When you've never had any type responsibility like that in your life, it's pretty difficult. It's mom wrecking. It's stressful parents. You can attest to it. We can all attest to it. So it is an incredible incredible feat that you know that first birthday. One of my guests JD marlow. He said to me. Because, he was thinking about We did a quarantine episode and he was talking about how he was going to be celebrating his daughter's birthday in quarantine, and it was kind of upsetting because it wasn't just the first birthday. And we started talking about first birthdays. And he said to me, he said listen that first birthday is for the parents, and it's true. You know you have mother's Day Day, but this first birthday is really a chance for the peers to celebrate themselves that they've kind of made it. Obviously, you're celebrating the kid. Obviously you're celebrating. You're happy. Everybody wants to celebrate because your child is now turning a year. It's their birthday. It is not your birthday, but that first birthday is is to celebrate your success as appearance. At least that's what I think, but that's just six weeks away. We will talk about that when we get there. For Right now. The the developmental process in these last three to four weeks like these forties. Forty. Beyond it's just crazy, it's not super. Over, the top and like. Like big developments, but it's like fast-tracking. Small developments and just enhancing those two like maximum capacity. Almost if that makes sense, so for example, you know, she's not seeing any words, but she went from just saying God Baba. Route up, you know just random sounds to. Imitating cadence. imitating words that we're seeing I'm trying to actually say the word you know like when we say something. She's now imitating it. She's trying to do it. You know one thing. She started doing this week. We've been trying for ever to get her to give us kisses. You get mommy gets. Didn't do it never now now. She actually is going through the whole. Of puckering her lips, and putting it to your face, and she's not like giving it, but giving actual kiss. Here's not better, but she's doing the action of doing that she is. She's not saying bye. Bye, but she'll go Baba. Daba, she'll she'll. She'll impersonate and copy the cadence and the syllables that you're saying you know. She now knows what things are I said this a little bit last week that she was kind of starting to learn what things are like. We got her. These picture blocks right. This is a great thing like once they hit like forty forty two. This is a great thing to start to start getting your kids just as an FYI. At least it was a great thing for us. That have you know? They have numbers letters whatever but they also have pictures of different things. Cats, dogs, grapes, flowers ladybugs. Butterflies what have you and it's been phenomenal for her to start associating words with things? So when when she now has her blocks, we can say. Where's the puppy and she'll go and she'll pick out. The dog won because you know we've said it so much. She's learning the correlation between what we're saying. And what things are furthermore when you say, where's the puppy? And she goes find the block. She can also now associate what that puppy looks like what that thing looks like with. Something else. That is the same thing so if she has a stuffed animal. That is also a poppy you can in now. We're in her room, right? The blocks out of the picture you can say. Where's the puppy? She'll look for her stuffed animal. That is a puppy or look for a book with a puppy on it so on and so forth, and she's starting to really make these correlations between things that it's not just one particular. It has a puppy that means puppy. It means that the picture on it is. Is a puppy. You know the dog outside. That looks like the picture is a puppy. ETC, etc, etc. My favorite thing about that is when you do a cat and you say meow. She again is now. She's putting off together right. She's she's seeing that. It's a cat, so she's picking out the cat and you say what? What does the cat say? MEOW? She'll say. So she will now copy of now. She's learning how to put all of these things together to understand what a cat is in full for lack of a better term or an extremely high level version of of that. You know she's a. she's putting these things together. where she just starting to understand things, he's starting to understand processes. She's starting to understand when something doesn't fit into specific space. She is now really into. Taking out kids are always into taking out more like dumping out, but she's so. She's always been into like dumping things out parents. You know what I'm talking about soon as they hit like four months, they WANNA do is just turn everything over and taken out, but now she's finally getting into the mode of putting things back or putting things into other things so all of these. Shape block containers that we got the right name for those are on the idea, but released. These chic blocked containers where they have. The different holes is one. The Star ones a heart. One's a circle blocks are shaped the same way, etc. She never understood that you were supposed to put them back in now. She's trying to figure how to put them back in and put the circle into the circle and the square into the square or try to. If they're color coded. Try to match the colors you know she's. She's understanding the processes of things the other day. She had this ball that she was putting into these. We have these cardboard boxes that are blocks, but letters and pictures, etc.. And they're all different sizes like a Russian doll. Open it up. They get smaller and smaller and smaller and smaller so like that with these different boxes, and she's trying to take her ball and put it into this one box. That was too small for the ball. She was getting frustrated, but then Schinder sturge the. Came to this realization then wait. This doesn't fit. Let me take it out. Put It in this speaker box, and then we if that if that fits in this bigger box, maybe the small box will now fit into the big about. And now she's putting back together this Russian doll block box set and she taking it out dubbing it out, and then putting them back together one by one figuring out how the sizing works to get them all back in. It's an incredible thing to do and I say it every single week I'm still convinced. My daughter's a frigging genius. She's able to do these things. But the best thing that happened this week. Is My daughter walked to me. For the first time now. I'll be honest. She was walking with a Walker, so she had this little pushcart walker that she was doing. She wasn't walking by herself. She's walking by seven eleven months and really genius level type Shit right there, but no. She took her first steps to me. She was holding her walker. She was going to come to Danny. Come to Daddy, and she walked all the way to get to me, and it was the most incredible thing that I have ever experienced in my entire life. Other than you know a bunch of other stuff that. That she's done or being born for that matter, but it was so incredible to watch her. Take those steps to come to to to beat with me. You know what I mean I. It was it was a surreal feeling. I may or may not have shed a tear I'm may or may not immediately of text forty of my friends to tell them. Half of them didn't give a shit, but It was an awesome, awesome, awesome thing. I can't wait to experience her walking like that without the assistance of something because I, just got a taste of it, and now I can only imagine how insanely incredible it is when they take those steps without the assistance of anything. It is really really really awesome. And that really. Chose the growth and the development in their entire bodily function thing you know the bodily function mechanism I should say that when they start taking those steps. That's when they're kind of putting everything together to. Be A full-fledged, being human being I should say. and. That was super awesome. In that's kind of where she's at. It's Kinda putting all of these things that she's been doing. Individually! Now, she's kind of putting the whole picture together. It's almost like she's trying to put a puzzle together. She's not yet. They're putting puzzles together. We've trying, but she's starting to put the puzzle of things and and mechanisms altogether. And starting to gain that understanding, and it's incredible to watch because again before you jump into this parenting thing. This is the thing that you don't ever think about you. Don't think about how they put things together to make your full throw thought processes a person. We just remember that we had these processes. You're seeing the development of the full range of thought process at this moment right now. These weeks forty, two, forty, six I'm short escalates even more until week fifty two, but from forty to forty six dot has been like. A huge compilation of development, acute compilation development package. I will call it. Right there is them learning how to take all the individual individual things that they know that they've learned that they've been trying and now putting them all together to have it start coming full circle. She's still got a couple of pieces missing, but she's getting there to to to end the loop, you know. That's it putting the mechanism together. That's week forty six were at where we're. We're like I said a couple of a couple of Arkansas shy, but she's very close. and it's a fantastic in an unreal thing to watch. With that set that's all for this segment of that hardware the podcast we're going to jump into a musical break on the other side. We have another returning guest. When he was on the first time, he wasn't even a dad yet. He wasn't expecting dad, and now he's a full-fledged father of a month old daughter. He is a music producer extraordinaire about Mr Rwanda, mop and speaking of him. Being a music producer extraordinaire the month of July. Just because I feel like it. I am coining as music. On here on Dad, where the PODCAST because this starts the string of several different music oriented guests that are going to be on the show over the over the course of the month of July so. CHECK THAT OUT! That's that's really cool, got a bunch of really really really awesome people that are beyond over the next couple of weeks, but we'll get to them when we get to them for right now. After the musical break, we're going to jump in Mr Ganga to mop and I will catch you on the other side. Particular. Is Patrick. Got, her? Teaching. Burke. The hand? Back in. Just. On. that. Before you had brings. It just. Sandbox. Felt saying. The ban being of. Spots in? The Small Mike. Shit. We are back with this episode of Dad Heart with the podcast, and as always you know when that music break hits, it is time for the guests segment of the show, so no further ado. I am going to welcome our Second Perspective Dad that we've had on the show who is now coming back on after having his first child he is a longtime friend of mine, and like myself just celebrated his first father's Day. So happy Thursday to you good sir. Let me welcome news producer, extraordinaire Mr Rwanda Soma. Th you brother man. Some. Happy Father's Day to the man. Thank you very much. Thank you very much. How was it for you? Give any was good, my. My baby goes on one month old, so it should choose beautiful legis. I don't think she knows what's going on, but I had a great time. That's what listen. It's father's that you're supposed to be the one that has a good time. You know what I mean like. That's what. Every other day they can have a good time. You could be all about them. Father's Day this all about you. Out just go. So Yemen your one month in when we talked last time. You were I. Think your wife would maybe six months pregnant seven months pregnant something like that. How Yeah! How has the whole experience been for you of like making that transition from normal human being into father? While that's. That's. Crazy one. The whole process was super stressful for me. Because we had to have Ashoka emergency session which we were not prepared for. So that thing kind of like. Are you even before that? We were in the hospital soon fourteen days. That's how how long? Entire process took forever to get here. So by the time she got, we were so tired. I mean it was unbelievable, because obviously not like hospitals couch twelve days out of fourteen days. Which is a nightmare, but after them. You know like honestly I feel like the first couple of nights. You kinda find a groove and. Out Now feel like. Sullivan, but with somewhat settled in until things really start to pick up and they really stop sleeping and just like not listening to anything that you do. Then it gets wild it's funny about kids that are that young like newborns. Because just when you think that you're settling into a groove and you've got it down, Pat. They just evolve on you literally overnight. It's wild. But no man happy that you guys have gotten into this group so far. That's really tough to do. In these first couple of weeks like getting that adjustment and I know you hit me up a couple of times. You like Bro. I'm not sleeping. What do I do I? Still the same thing she she's She's like an angel. During the day during the night time, she just WANNA party. Around I me. She just wants to do everything at night electoral three in the morning. Are you guys doing breastfeeding you doing formula doing Combo, work not. Hundred percent breastfeeding from the breast, so my my wife is taken care of. It's a lot on her. Yeah, it is. How? That hasn't gone everything everything smooth, smooth sailing so far so far soon so far so good, but I don't think she has had more than like. Three or four stretch of sleep for the whole. Month, maybe like six weeks even prior to that. It gets too when you're doing the breastfeeding in like one hundred percent from breast. is so rough on the mom because they have. Do they just have to be up all the time? I did like every time. She Falls Cape. Time to figure again. It's so it's so wild the, but it shows you how strong the female being is. It gives you a whole new appreciation for your specifically your wife, but for women in general and everything they have to endure just so that we can be here walking on the planet. You know what I mean. Democracy the singular the biggest thing that came to me you know that I got out of the whole experience so far it's literally my respectful women just skyrocketed because it is actually unbelievable washing my wife to what she does. Nuts man Just, the carrying this human inside them for nine ten months and everything they go through physically with that then they have to somehow get it out of them and. Just when you think that's the that's the climax of the movie. They now have to figure out how to take care of this thing. You know what I mean it is. It's not man, but beyond the non sleeping in something that how has it been for you I? Know that you are fully in love with this child. Because it's everything that you post about on on your social media, these days are in. Did you expect that to happen like? Did you expect the love and the feelings and emotions that you have now with your daughter in the world to expect that to happen for like I literally spend hours, serenade her. It's it's. It's been I've never I've never been disliked This much I don't know I've. Felt love for anybody like this in my life before. And I'm with a dude. I'm just. Think light is her like I can't even take map. I should be take times. I should be taking a nap of. She's little is wanting to be next arena. So yeah man. I kind of I was I was expecting there, but by. What I didn't stretches How deep it grows as time evolves. And there's A. Layer of like purpose as a new purpose are found. which is amazing, which which gives me access to almost stike on like a couple of couplets guests I didn't have departure was here interesting. Have you been? Have you been working still doing music? Wow! Sh after she's been born or are you kind of taking a break? How is and if you are doing music? Do you find like that extra gear that you talk? About is injected into the art. So just because we had a meal of lockdown overall I haven't had sessions for a while as people physically coming into the studio. And the people that would normally that I would work with you know. They were in the middle of protests and stuff like that, which is great, but I have a newborn, so I can't really bring people into the house at this moment. So I've been you know in that sense? I've been Chilin, but I've been still a lot of music. wait a minute I completed. I still Admin deal. Slash like a publishing deal in the middle of the nose soon as she was born. Some trying to get that going a lot of zoom, 'cause lot of a lot of work. Democrat it. Just it is tough, though because I wake up super early unusually make music in the morning times. But now mom, one time the super groggy like I'm so tired that it's it's. To work part, I'm still trying to find. Find a nice girl for but. You have your mom play music for yet? You have your mom performing for the little baby. That that happened like especially your days. I knew what I knew. She would come in straight with her with her keyboard and just start seeing singing and jim and out for her. That's that's awesome do. So like. Let's. Let's talk about this thing. Man, your dad, Bro, can you believe it? He's either your dad's like the two of us where we were, we were making music together. What ten years ago we'd be in a studio up all night and now we're still up all night, but it's because we have children. It's it's. It's the honest man I feel like. US In our and other other friends of ours that have big Com blessed to be on the side, and it will have like amazing family. Amazing wife at a healthy babies. It's Craz Mesa trip, but it's I feel blessed. You have to your wife, do you month ago? Did you deal with any like complications? In regards to the covert situation that was going on did that make anything more difficult was where the regulations and things that you guys had to abide by the like mead, things more stressful or worked out of the ordinary. Yes? I mean just because we had the whole. The whole Labor session was stressful to begin with. You know because she had low fluids, so we had a staff at the hospital usually I was I would have been able to go in and out liberty. But this time I was kind of stuck at the hospital in because the the. In out was great difficult. Anna and all I mean plus like it would just high unidentified time because there was no family around. The baby came home. She? We had nobody will just me and her. While, because they wouldn't allow family into hospital, though nobody could come just manhood, literally the from from the time we check tend to like we had the emergency selection the recall rates. Everything. We got cleared to go home. That's when we saw people I mean. That's how long how long were you guys in the hospital after she was born? Like five days. Yeah, that sounds about right with a section yeah right. Cheese and you and you guys can leave. That's the kind of the craziest thing You're the second person that I've talked to on here. That gave that went through the birthing process during the Kovin pandemic and Dad. I think is the is the craziest part for me is that you're not once you're in the hospital. You're not allowed to leave and then come back. Once you're in, you're in and then when you go out like you can't. They're not letting you back in. and. That's such a that's such intricate part. Important part I feel like the post birth. Process. I was able to like a grun- back to my house and like go get extra clothes. Go more comfortable clothes for my wife. Go get towels or anything else, or whatever might be that like the baby needed. Go get snacks and food and all this from outside. It's crazy that you guys couldn't leave or that. You couldn't couldn't go in and out. That's wild, just kind of stuck in that little room. Them that. Stuff and my can only like three blocks away from my house Oh my God. I will literally like walk there and it, but you know I I live a couple of times. You just have to be really forced the gun back then for sure. Did you guys get tested before you would make you get tested when you came in? Now every time I went in. They did like a like a de temperature. That was at, but are found a couple of loopholes in like three months room that you could go in. Some other places out, but eventually do. because. I was there for twelve days coverall. You get to know a lot of people and at some point they slow. Your situation ended their conical with you. That is actually the great thing about about hospital staff when you have a baby deer. Accommodating to because they're not so happy for you, and they know like how stressful it is, and you're a new parent and all that type of stuff, so that's that's fantastic that they treated. You treated you well on that front. How is the first night whole? you do. Homeless was. It's crazy. The first night of the baby being born, we were literally like Oh my God. We have the best ever like she's asleep through the ninety little noise. I was just like this is incredible. Second is was crazy. She went like. Buckeye I've never seen somebody just cry for like hours in you know. so I I had homeless Osama shoot. She was just really really fussy like really loud and he was crazy. That, did you have to either of your parents? Stay there the first night or was it just you guys? Mom Dad and parents. Only too far, so they will hear about honestly like we wanted to be We, Kinda wanted to continue that a lot of times the the grandparents com, somebody family members come, so you don't really find. A groove yourself because there's always. Knew other people in the House that normally they wouldn't be Yup. Yes, so my whole thing was we wanted to be even though she had a safe section. She was really down. We wanted to be as independent as quickly as possible, so we kinda everybody. Go Home Aflac four nights. But It was easier. Did they give you help. Those first four nights with that was at least nice to have that there for those i. You guys didn't do baby, nurse or anything like that, right? You're just doing kind of you guys. Like there they were here and they brought like molex food in. New. Health with everything else like breastfeeding goes to my wife like. The diapers so the newborn. That's what Ali do. Change diapers that feed her amber the. So! You don't really be too much help at that moment i. don't think just the food part. For sure. It's funny, my my wife, we found that when our when our family came over right a lot of them hurt. My my wife's mother was great. My my mom was was really good at helping and trying to get things together, getting food, doing grocery shopping for us, but like you know a lot of times when people when family comes over, they just want see the baby, and like do the stuff that you can do yourself that you don't really need their help for you. Know and want to get into the groove like you said yourself. And you know my wife was reading or talking to our pediatrician or something like that and she was finally like listen. If you're going to have people, come over. Make them do the stuff that is difficult for you to do while you have a baby. HOW CLEAN THE HOUSE! How Cook Food You know! Grocery shop all that stuff so that you can spend time at the baby, so it's good, 'cause a lot, a lot of parents in a lot of visitors. They don't do that. They just want to see the baby and stuff, so it's good that your. Grandparents on on both sides were like down to do that and like. Take that load off you, so you can try to start learning how to be parents. Yeah I mean like you said, but honestly they just WANNA kick with a baby to. Of course, that's all they want like honestly just felt like. My wife is like. She's really struggling and and everybody just wanted like called the baby. Everybody wants one chance their time with the baby. And get another another thing. I ran into I don't know if you guys did. Because both our parents on both sides, they grew up in a different concert and it was completely different time period you know. So House journey that was. Like differences like you know like Nejib, wake the baby up every two hours to feed. That was back then. Oh Wow so were they like getting getting on? You about do net. That's something be i. didn't end sped that? We will run into, so they had there were so opinionated on, but things were all the time so different bill really both you guys sleep through the night. We're like well. We have to wake the baby up every shoe hours to feet. And back in the day like days, give babies water. Now. They don't really give Wadis. Breastfeeding Let formula. For Sore. That's wild is so being that that's the situation that you guys have this kind of like blended cultural family now going on right Other than that type of stuff, his that kind of inject itself into how you guys are planning to to raise your yard daughter. Are you trying to do it a little bit more traditionally for each of your cultures, etc, or are you kind of listen where American? This is what we're I mean we're American now I guess like this is what we're doing. We're we're. We're going full throttle with this whole This new age culture that we're living in. I think. Obviously like. A project the best of our coaches, whatever realm and whatever that will help her. Dad. I'm really right preparing for the future you know. And it small I I. Liked him us as whole you know. We're just getting better. You know weekend new technology new information new everything, so you might as well. Go along with the time at really practical at least for me. Put my daughter, so that was west to calm. For sure, that's definitely true you know I, it's interesting because I find that I've talked to a couple of people that have you know immigrant parents or or or or immigrants? Themselves not born here whatever and when they have kids that seems to be the answer a lot of times, which is funny because I think I just feel like the older generation like you said once it. Wants the kid to be raised under the culture that they were. They were brought up in, but you know we are just like not man like we. We're so far past that and a lot of know for a lot of people that I've spoken to that been like a point of contention between parents and grandparents I. Assume you guys are only a month in Iceland. You haven't hit any contention points as far as that is concerned. Maktoum Nunnery. No district because like. Here's the thing if I'm sure. Can we know when I grew up in Sri Lanka? Only people associated with. Right. That's call. Know everything about the beautiful thing about being in America is that you get to meet different people from different cultures? You get to see like different ways of lives than you could. Really they can choose the best of all. You know sure sure that's like. Yes, so I have the have from every different background and Dino, some some of their culture. Some of the things from the MAZING I wanNA. I WANNA. Take. You know pick-and-choose. and. Give the best Dr Not just like what we grew up in for sure what's been the? Most difficult thing about making the transition for you besides the sleep. Obviously, this is terrible, or lack there of asleep, but what's been the most difficult thing for you transitioning into this new life of yours? Answer like getting back to work might is probably a little bit tougher than expected. just because the because wearing the creative space You need to have a fresh mind. And and I rarely get that. You know it's only been four weeks and my my wife's just now getting back to normal Yeah, maybe that that has been has been a little bit bit of a struggle. where? That's. Like getting back to normal in general is is kind of. Mind Fuck for lack of better term. You know what I mean. This new identity now as a parent and trying to get back to what you were before then is always is always super difficult. That transition is just. It's a weird thing because you're so emotional like you mentioned. You know what I mean like. Throw many motions coming through when you have this thing now. Having to think about going back to normal life is wild. Are you reaching out to a lot of people for for advice for help you find your. Exterior. That's true. I definitely I am. That's that's code into I'm. I have I have. Like Parent Friends of mine that have that I different stages like you. Sound like you because you're a few months ahead of me. Like the first few months is a long time. Massive difference so it's good to have like you. Like you know people like you and I have another friend of mine today that I will reach out for an asked him like hey, like what's going on at two three months. That was like that. For, sure. For sure well with that with that said I know that one of my favorite parts about having you on the first time is that you really flip the script on on me when we were doing this chat and the just ran the Rimi through the gamut of asking me questions so now the Task Actually Dude Rome this. Is You just ask you the question about reaching out to people? Reach out. I'm giving you. What what what? What can I help you with sir? Yes, so. How long did it first of all? How long did it take quite a session as well hold on. Did it take for her be? Complete normal. Probably about six weeks probably about six weeks. To be like functionally normal right? When she went back by by the time, she went back to her six week post op appointment, she was cleared. Choose physically fine. You know still little bit now. She probably has some. Probably. Not I WANNA. Say complications and I don't want to say. You know injuries or hurting, but like you know. Her ads. Her core is definitely a little bit more. Than, it used to be like when exercising and stuff like that, but she was back. She was back pretty much to normal after six weeks. Got An awesome house the. Like you said I three months. What Kinda Ross right as our sleep, schedule and everything. When does he get somewhat like? Look said right before we got on, you said you said Hey. My daughter just went to bed our early out. What's what's usual time seven? I'M EX-CHAIRMAN PM. What time did you wake up like selling and I kinda got jealous man. Of course well. I was twelve hours. What that debt doesn't even seem real man. So when did this so happened once? We moved her into her own room. That's when she really started sleeping through the night. because we like you. We had to wake her up every couple of hours to to eat. You know for those first three months. She had lost a significant amount of weight. In her first month, so we kind of had to play catchup lot for those nuts, too. But, as soon as she can roll over herself, you take you know you're supposed to take of Waddell because if they roll over in Swat oil, they. Can't get themselves back over. Early so they can actually end up on the stomach to suffocate. You know in the mattress, so you know you wanNA. Keep them swaddled on until they can roll over so suk basically as soon as she was ready to kind of roll over. We try to put her in her own room. Maybe like four months four or five months, and at that point she started pretty much sleeping through the night like those first couple of nights or first couple of weeks. I want to say we're rough man. They were rough because she just didn't want to sleep in her own room so getting. Her down was really tough if she woke. Woke up in the middle of the night. 'cause she likes spit out her pacifier, or was used to eating in the middle of the night, shoot, cry and crying, crying whale, wail whale, and it is so hard to let them cried out that I. Think is going to be in this first year. That's the hardest thing you have to do. As a parent is listened to them, cry, and just knowing your head that in the middle of the night I'm talking about you'd have to know in your head. You just cannot go in there. You have to let them cried out or else. They're just not gonNA sleep through the night. That's going to be tough. It's tough. It's the hardest. Remember something something that I never saw like. Babies are really loud when their sleep right. Would it be loud. Like she makes noises like the tyrant, every fucking noise wakes. Coward one time with an hour I woke up twelve times checker. That's. Does she sleep on your side of that show? She got the snore and she's on. Our feet. Are is like A. Private. So I literally I'm such a light sleeper, so every little noise she makes it could be like breathing for whatever is at nighttime noise sounds terrifying like I feel like she's choked. No matter what she does in my history Shokhin I gotta say. To I used to do the same thing. My my daughter's. She always slept next to me. We also the snoop. I think actually told you that. We this new and that inspired you to get it when you're less. But we so she's always slept next to me even now I. Sleep with the Monitor next to me, so it's still like she's sleeping next to me, but yet those that first couple months every sound every here in the house. You just think that something's wrong with the baby it's it's wild, and but that first month right especially I two months. They're really trying to figure out what this breathing thing is. You know what I mean how to breathe. Their knees package passages get really like clogged or not all the way clear from the NBA fluid and stuff like that, so they like make a lot of noise in their in their sleep. And stuff like that. It's terrifying like you're living in a horrible because you're just constantly waking up to like check and see if she's she's breathing matrices. Okay with that. It's a wild things, even when we have the opportunity to get sleep. I still don't get any sleep. 'CAUSE you're waking up every four minutes to make sure everything's cash. Hundred percent I am I. Am I'm a? Five seven minutes just Jig on debate, because just because she sounds like she's choking. Just because there's like trying to figure this whole thing out. You know like you're trying to figure out how to be a parent. They're trying to figure out how to be a human. Crazy crazy another thing. She does not like a pacifier. Really. Every time I put it on. She destroyed essentially just experts at out. Interesting. That's you know. We did actually I. Don't think she was into the past fire too much the first time. For the first little while we give each a a glove like like a rubber glove, the US early texts glass. And put it on your pinky. Or you have glove on, and you put your pinkie in their mouth for them to suck on, and it's really kind of calms them down a lot. Yeah, it worked a lot. We learned that in the hospital it was fantastic to do. We used to do that a lot when she would like cry and like be out of control crying. We didn't know what was going on. Latex Glove pinky boom. While dude I'm going to try that man because she just gags. Every time we try to the things she gags any just it just not a good luck. Yeah, it's a pacifier. That earlier a little. Because like I said they're still trying to figure out how to be a human which includes how to breathe so like. They just don't really understand what's going on, but the sucking really soothes them. You know my mother-in-law was a a like a like a speech therapist and she actually told that to us from jump like Sh-. They don't introduce the pacifier so much like you can do this with your pinky. Because the sucking mechanism actually soothes them relaxes them. It gives them some calm so I'd recommend trying that for sure argued I'm guessing that. Try to what you said. Three months. That's when you move. Your dotting on Roy four I think it was like four for us like four and a half months. She's four and a half months. We started sleep, training her and putting her in her own room. Got It, and he said he was terrified right at first. Alone. With the most terrifying thing ever you think waking up in the middle of the night like hearing your daughter make meek sounds and thinking something's wrong as terrifying. Imagine! I should say wait until the only way you can hear your daughter is your daughter is through a monitor. Best horrible I did not sleep the entire I. Think the first four days that we did it I did not sleep a wink. I was up all night staring at the Monitor. Making sure that everything is fine. And then I actually went one step further. I would like to go and sleep on the couch so that we slept because we kept my daughter's room door open so that we make sure we hear if she cried out sleep on the couch with the Monitor, so that I would make sure that if she was crying in something was wrong I would be able to hear it. Wow. That's something I will I might actually camp out in that room without Hanoi Dude, but then who wants she sleeps once she does do the sleep. Getting out of their bedroom like when you're putting them back putting them to sleep at night. It's like it's like mission impossible. Like making noise and disrupt Oh my God. It's over so for you. You'll see. You'll see that deal with now. We like the finally. Get Out Room and creek the door. She's freaking out because she knows I'm leaving. Another question. First couple of months. How often did you guys like beds are like. How often did you wash? Once every couple days. Know. Once every couple of days now we. We give her a bath every day like it's kind of like. It's part of her bedtime routine. You know she'll eat dinner. Take a bath. Then we start getting ready for bed and sleep but at that point we probably every once every two to three days probably. Because you don't want to dry out their skin too much, you know what I mean, right? It's one of my favorite things to do is bring to the studio and I play music. From different eras that's awesome. That's my fair thing to do and so far she's responding anywhere like eighties. Big Neck smash hits. What! Life Toto Africa like Collins huge smashes from the eighties south, and she loves rap rap. Sheets when she's being crazy. Some rap music, she the Stan Jason That's amazing for. We did the same thing. That's how we kinda got her on Like on a routine calmer dow and changing her diaper is we got her we. We would play music. Alexa is the greatest the greatest invention for child care ever in the history of the world because amazing. My daughter knows now as soon as I say Alexa. She knows that one of her favorite songs like coming on so what I used to I used to every open because they still do when I wake up in the morning. Or I'm the WANNA. Get up with her in the morning. I always start off the day with Let's stay together by Al Green. And she loves then. She just knows she knows sick. We're GONNA do this. This is going to be awesome. You know and. I like tickle her on the side like like during the during the same parts of the song every time she like the whole routine, getting into music as part of their daily routine or like. Going to bed routine waking up routine is is super helpful to like. Get them in that in that vibe in that mode. You know what I mean. It's amazing man. Yeah Frustrations Michael Jackson. Why t number one is this love? By molly and it's usually a steady one great nice. that. Not just want to get the best of the best. What what's you like routine like the? Could you give me a quick rundown like when she wakes up at seven? Like what do you do? When you're getting up. Now. Listen during the weekdays. My wife gets up with her 'cause I'm clocking in clocking in for work like nine am so like getting at seven and doing the morning routine and getting real difficult makes the day real long for Daddy. You know what I mean. That's real dad hardship over there. You know when that has happened. But you know. I, do weekends and. Up We re change your diaper to some Al Green. You know we we hang out a little bit I. She's nine now at the point where she's standing in the crib up on maybe some music and she'll start dancing in her crib because she like knows like so excited. Open the curtains change her to Al Green that will come out and she'll like play with her toys and stuff like that in the in the living room for a little bit And then I'll. We'll get breakfast ready. She's eating real food now so like Don. Waffles and French Toast Eggs Yogurt, lot avocado. Peanut Butter Avocado with. Peanut Butter Bananas, whatever. Breakfast, and we, and then she plays for a little bit more or will watch some some sesame street or right now she's into Pete. The cat the youtube videos pete the cat, so we'll watch. Maybe watch pete the cat if she's like a little bit on the side. And then like by nine o'clock, she's ready to go back down for I nap. So nine o'clock boom bottle bed. Later! It, then what time she wake up ten about ten thirty eleven. Yes she takes a two and a half two hour nap. and then you know then we start with the day. Try to get outside, you know. Go for walks on weekends. We're trying to go to parks and stuff like that kind of sit out. Relax, you know. Get some fresh air and stuff like that. Yeah, but the the mornings those mornings are kind of like a stringent stringent routine. We got to start the day. Start the day off. Right I mean do people. On ABC's Especially for manned by like for me like I, don't start the day off in a certain way. My whole day becomes kind of fucked interesting. I am not a morning person so i. don't know about that life You Know I. I- Mornings and me do not get along I'd rather just I'd rather wake up late and go to sleep late. And like do everything. Late at night, which is also kind of works for me and my wife's like schedule wise I waking up with the baby. She's a morning person. I'm not so she'll do stuff in the morning. And then you know once the baby goes asleep. She's like I'm clocking out. I'm done. Rest is up to you so I'll do dinner in and clean up in and dishes and all that type of stuff. and. We'll as well right. With down. You guys are both working from home now, yeah! Okay vets. It is, it is. It is an experienced? Cool is one word to describe it, you know. But, but no, I haven't in honesty is just crazy. Thing said only seen like physically seen. My parents her parents and the baby now the baby by likes, GonNa. Have seen people. Sick crazier that you know how. How is our now? She's. She's like eleven months. While that is. Like what's crazy to me that from one month eleven months? It's like like nine and damaged. She's like in a different stage of life. That's just so crazy to me that that to grasp that crazy as soon have videos. From the first few nights of my daughter opposed to now, but she. It's so crazy how? Do you look back at pictures of her from when she was like. I don't know even like six months and she's just so different now then I look back from the days of the first couple of days and eight is like what I don't believe that you ever like that. Tiny leg I don't even remember that it's crazy. It's wild watched the whole evolution of them. And watching them just grow and evolve and start doing things. And communicating different ways. It's just a beautiful beautiful thing. At this age of highlights like eleven months. What's the biggest thing biggest challenge you run into? You know. That's a good question Mr Rwanda. The biggest challenge with her is keeping her stimulated enough to continue developing at a good pace. You know what I mean that's that's like that's the hardest thing in finding new ways to stimulate her. You know what I mean without having a by like a new toy every four days. You know what I mean. That's that's the that's the been the most difficult thing about this stages is. Being creative enough to. Do Different things to to keep pushing the evolution for development. I. It's an I mean especially with the lockdown. that's. That's been a tough one for sure. Because you can read i. mean kind of like restricted like your home or maybe the park. RIGHT UP, yeah! And like not evenly playground park like just open grassy knowles. and stuff like that it's. Like visitors to come see her and I was thinking to have any play dates. That right now. Not really mean like. Recently we started. We started branching out doing some interpersonal like face to face. You know, hang out stuff, but always like open air, Park beach you know walks on and stuff like that. We haven't had anybody in our apartment. That is not my wife's parents. Okay Gotcha Yep because a lot of people. That that. Don't even live too far. You know they WANNA come. See the baby, but like. I really can't. I can't take that risk. She's only one month you. How is that? How has been dealing with that? 'CAUSE LIKE I? Know it's like A. It's a weird thing when you I have a kid and you have friends like family. Fine, but when you have friends that want to come, see the baby. Even Kovic stuff unrelated. It's a weird position that you're in is apparent, because like hugh also don't really want everybody in your house around this newborn baby. That doesn't have any shots doesn't have any vaccinations. No immune system at all whatsoever. I don't know what you did last weekend. You know what I mean. Whatever how is it in now with this specifically with the covert lockdown or covert lockdown? How has it been not being able to like? Allow people to come and like. Friends took to come and see them has been tough on you. You've been like. A lot of shit from about it from friends. Yeah, everybody wants to come. See the baby, and it's been you know I have to shot down every time is, it is I mean. I put my wife's. Mom she she went back she. She's a hairdresser. She's. So he went back to his shop because it. and. She's on content. So she hasn't seen the baby for the last two weeks. To work and I'm pretty strict on that and I'm pretty strict highlights. Keeping people away from the baby and it's been. It's been a little tough, especially in all like people. Are Seen as you should understand mason baby like you know unless you have this shots to the Iran Schmidt. Ask Ac-, I agree, and you know what you only understand that once you become apparent. Right that for sure you know when you're not a period, you don't get that. You're just like dude just like come on. We you're my best friend. Let me see your fucking kid and you're just like as a parent. You're like I. Dunno, Bra like you know. She has never shots I. Don't know. It took us a long time. Actually when Aurora was born in this, you know very much. Pre lockdown took a while to start being comfortable with like people openly being around the baby, also just in general, it's a it's a weird thing, but I always I always want to know about from from different people how it is. And for you with the lockdown, it's probably tenfold because you have to lock it down which also? A good excuse. In another way the lockdown do help just because you could our spam the to. But that's. Just about to say, probably like a good excuse to just be like. Did Cova Lockdown Kent Come Sorry Bre? Could always be like hey, man with the Kobe. Nineteen doctor said. Don't don't have anybody around so. I'll let you know issues clear. Right exactly once. Normal and it's lifted your all grits and gravy man. It's a crazy time. Crazy in general. You know while time to be kids in man, this is I'll tell you one thing twenty twenty a year that we will never forget you. Both you and I right because we have kids, but because we had to start having kids in this. Brave new world that we're living in It's just been a wild year brow, but room in I'm I'M GONNA. Let you go here in a minute. And, but I'M GONNA. Do is I'm GonNa, ask you this. I ask every dad this when they come on, and now that you are officially part of the fatherhood. Brotherhood, I'M GONNA throw it at you. It's only been a month, but what has been your favorite thing about being a dad. Man are it's hard to say one thing, but I love when she just liked. What you now there's there moments where she just locked at locks eyes with me. I will start looking at each other for like. It's only probably you know. He's fears that for hours per probably on the minutes in reality like that's probably like Event if I would capture those moments understand that for the rest of my life. Exactly what you're talking about. The way they look at you and you look at her and it's just. The whole everything around me just disappears. I mean I have. A joy like this to be honest. Rancher have like a baby girl like that. Just Stephen hold her. There's You know. Being by like, it's very hard to explain what it is. You know I I don't think that the the English language is is we have enough was described. The exact same, so you go through when you actually hold your child I I agree with you that it's a new like it. You alluded to it in the beginning of the conversation. It's a whole new gear of emotion that you. Arise Zach. You know what I mean, this whole new level of love of emotion of caring of you know. Of everything you know what I mean, it's it's pretty pretty pretty nutty. And the. Hundred I agree. I agree yeah. I mean like I also think like up like my respects. Women sounded like a whole `nother. I rela feel like a woman. That's have somewhat of a career with child. You should definitely get paid like why triple your salary! Audience hundred. It's a crazy thing. Man, so yeah so. I'm sure are behaving up. You know a lot. I already have the last like four weeks I'm constantly text in your by this dad of says first of all is great friend. Light you. That's you know that that decided to jump in the pool before I did. kind of land from you like you could tell me now. This is something different you don't you probably don't need to do this or you should do this? It's like right now. Like from just from this conversation I know how to put like lakes glove on and just super with my Pinkett as he's trying. To See if it works. It helped a lot. Yemen Santa is really good to have you. As a friend Bros, Rian for Shechem and you, these podcasts amazing as well I appreciate it man, and you know you. My Guy Rotted rotter die till the end man brother from another mother. You know congratulations on on the on the baby girl. And and thank you for. Taking some time out of your first month with your daughter to to do this. You know I'll be talking to you, very. We'll be talking all the time just like you said and man keeping join that baby man. Thank you for having me on absolutely not Soomro. And that was my main man. Rwanda Samah Music, producer, extraordinaire and the brand new father of a baby girl. That's offer us for this week's episode of Dad hard with the podcast to connect on a fatherhood brotherhood. His would email dad. Hard pods email dot com follow us on Instagram at Dad, hard pot and check the website with this episode of the podcast will be blamed right at the top. You can listen direct. WE DEBT HEART DOT com. That's all for us until next week. Same debt hard. Tom Saved at our place where out. Back. Just the. Brings a kid about your wave? Could. Be a little kid A. Things, free service and all that. The playground. Played on the monkey bars or whatever? Go.