Your (and our) Offseason Goals


The. Welcome to the shutdown. Full cast ain't got no games this week and got thank God nothing to live to talk about the LSU football dot net. TV schedule is is is dang near dang near empty until next season. Yeah. So what we're looking at y'all. This is the first podcast of the college football off season just to just go around the horn because occasionally we do like to introduce ourselves. You're listening to the dulcet tones of Spencer hall. But ever I do ADS Bs type person and Espy nation. Joining me as always round the Horne. Geographically, speaking. Next to me is Holly Anderson. That's that's the job scripture. I supposed to you won't my are we doing that introduce yourself shit again, though, do just did it, Doug. How often do these introductions is it like a quarterly review and Lee always Spencer who wants to talk about who wants to be the Campbell. You know, why? Because Spencer doesn't remember our names or what we do. And and and you are in currently playing Nintendo and and cannot really complain. This is that thing where you introduce your your partner to somebody. And you're like, oh, this is Sharon it because you don't remember who your immediate thing. And so you're hoping your partner will just sorta bail you out. Now that one could gracefully just, you know, own that. Yeah. It said doc own that. From from beautiful Kennesaw, Georgia. We have our college football. Minor Domo Jason. No, I love baby Oshii. That's again Holly's introduction is ongoing. It'll just after the end this duck and pair a Beatles. Hey, jason. No. This is good. This is better than anything. I had to say. Yeah. That's Jason's introduction. Fuck shit. Did you see how close I was to get Yoshi? At that Ryan nanny and beautiful. Brooklyn, New York. Albany knows what my job is. Nobody has fucking clue. People think this podcast is my entire job. And that sad. They really do. They do think like we pulled listeners awhile back. They thought like I think Ryan is Spencer's boss or Jason's bus or they are Ryan's boss. Okay. But beyond the org chart, which none of you are right about because we don't even know Brian's actual department. I don't even think any listeners have any idea. What it is. Nobody seems to and that's fine. You know, like, Mike not even the it sound part of the company, let alone. What he does there? I that's fine. We're all in a Mexican standoff bosses, right? Just one gun pointed at the prove, my vacation requests, you improve my vacation requests, while we know Spencer as a squirrel fan is water type and Ryan is the city. So he's lightning type, I'm onion type onions. That's that's that's grass type batter. That's all a plant. I'm not a Pokemon yet to tell me what I I'm not a Pokemon enthusiasts yet. Okay. Okay. Iron type metal type metal type metal type. Okay. Metal type. I'll be I accept us. And don't know if it's an insult know, it's it's just more about these things how they counter in interplay only only one can defeat one other in it. It's sort of it's sort of a paper, rock scissors kind of thing is what I'm getting at Jason is stray dog type that would be fighting type. Anyway, we each of us is is the boss of one other and the reports to one other an no one can ever know in a managerial aura Boris. It's I think it's important that we start the off season by recognize greatness as it passed. And that would be a in a tweet from at E Wilkin twenty-five, Ethan nickname, Ethan unquote, Wilkinson, it's catchy nickname. Ethan. You sound handsome, Ethan. He is he is he comes from good stock outta we know. Well. The tweet says so just found out. My wife's best friends Granddad. A lifelong diehard LSU fan watched Alabama lose Monday closed his eyes and passed away at the age ninety eight. Wow. What a hate NASA legend. We stay a king. I like to I like to think that it is final moments. He was like, oh, man. Heavens gonna wanna hear about this or L either one. It would no matter. No matter which way, I'm going. I got news. Berlin was credit LSU grandpa. On the way out hit him with the at channel foot. Bama maginness. Maginness somebody did that. That's it like on the way out on the way out the door. Just looking at everybody. Go and bliss miles. You're cool and over on your cool. Hey, Mike Shula. You're cool. Nick sabin. Fuck. You. Yeah. What what a God. What a titan of man that. He even even when they were up nearly thirty seven sixteen said, no, no, no. This is like the end of the crucible. But with Dan Moore. He did it and he lived in ninety eight man that was the last thing he saw was forty four sixteen. Go Tigers in either case. He knew that dab owes closest friends would all wanna hear about. I mean the disciples herbs. Also, also, Billy blanks. Yeah. Got to talk to my friend Bill downing Thomas was like, okay. I know I have a rent, but did you say forty four. Yeah. I'm sorry. Billy mays. I'm pretty sure Billy blanks. If not RIP Billy blanks who is the John base down the other one who is rumored to be dead when the internet was capable of spreading malicious rumors, but not giving you a clean way to debunk them. If you wanted to. Yeah. Fortunately times. Fortunately, we've solved now we just have total information and in misinformation at the same time. It's great. And that means it's good because balance. That's I mean, really like if that's the last thing you see on the way out, you know, like if the cheese at bowl had been the last football game I'd ever watched. Okay. Like Ryan, remember when your daughter was born. And there was that period of time when we would just amuse ourselves by counting all the things that hadn't happened yet. In her world football is like how her parents haven't been alive for George national title. Yeah. That was that was mostly the one that I was thinking about only I thought we promised not to talk about Georgia anymore. I sure didn't sign anything. I really wanted to pay proper specs to this man by doing what I want my family. Earl you know, I can go like an Earl. Yeah. You know as a ranking Earl thority, we will happily claim I'll fair. Yes. Yeah. I mean, I'm thinking policies. Don't know. I'm merely co-signing. I had forgotten. Yeah. So, you know, I'll just say Earl Valentine showed row, whatever your name actually was. That's a good one. Yeah. It seems likely that this is the name that has all LSU fans. And I think a number of college football fans, including myself want next should be played at your funeral. Like like, I was born like full version of neck. You could do you know, you could if you're from Louisiana. I think you go full black the right FOX injury version of neck. The other version the other possibility is to do Ave Maria, but sneaks suck. Now tiger bitch that tired Tig bitch into it. Oh, good tie. Doc that time of mine no near my God. That's what you really want is for. That course to come over the top with you know, suck that tiger. Dick bitch. Yeah. The most pro most problematic cheer and all. I don't think it's really not. It's really not. States right there. You're late like beastie -ality is the least of our concerns. We got a lot. We have a lot of concerns. Solitude be clear. Several concerns it's not like three. No. You know, what else doesn't like three Alabama trying to? Still got it for like, it's more like a one big middle thing. The end of the show. Yeah. It's more like goalpost on. I I really really really do hope though that you know, I hope you all have an end as rewarding this what game what game that's already taken place. Would this have been for us Spencer? I know my answer, but I wanna to. Probably I have a couple of candidate. Yeah. I think the two thousand and seventeen Tennessee game would have been one. Why? Okay. The Franks hail Mary game. Yeah. The Franks hail Mary game. Just awful and be like I wanna dis. Last crafty gave I see then something completely unfair untoward happens to proper rival the only good thing they'll have all season. And then I am mmediately deceased that would have been pretty great. Actually, I kind of had the same. I was kinda going on the same instinct they're like I did not take a good game. Like do. I want to go out on the national title and ninety eight I do not I wanna go out on the two thousand nine Tennessee Georgia game when Jonathan Crompton ninety. By the way, with Mark richt, retiring lane kiffin is undefeated all time versus both him and Steve Spurrier Sunday. I'm picking Florida state, Oregon in the first college football playoff. That for the by CB to ball reminder. That's the Jameis Winston throws the ball fifteen yards backwards game that vine. We probably should have checked out during one instead of waiting for a definitive. I would have been a Super Bowl couple. Yeah. I don't I should've said. Twenty one. Oh, I'm out. Twenty eight three looking good buddy donated three by. He never knew. It's the deal right now. That's probably like fifteen or life bills. Do screw it. I'll take mean. There's gotta be a five fan who died during the Super Bowl. I mean, just think about our caloric intake, cholesterol wise, surely there was one who is in heaven just talking so much shit. Not. Here's here's the problem. The one who died in the middle was like Lord. I know this is heaven and all is possible through you and your awesome power, please allow me to see the end of the Super Bowl. And God was like, okay. I. Falcons fan. He gets up there. Like god. Please don't tell me. Let me eeking. There were also people out there trying to make decision over whether or not to pull life support a family never been a falcons fan for a while. It. I don't know your go. DNR do not run falcons offense to potato here. I got a seal. I would I think you also have probably could have I could've gone out with sheer joy, I could have gone out on this game. Honestly, like forty four sixteen just watching the unexpected happen out have been five with that old man, man. Or if we talk about the God damn peach bowl, one more time, if I could have gone, or if I could have gone out with Boise state, Oklahoma and the table. That's oh, yeah. Come on man proposes to the cheerleader Dawson. Chris Myers is about to talk and ruin the whole moment with this big stupid, head voice. And then I die right there. That's bought. How do you feel at the proposed? And she said, yes, you probably feel pretty good. Gregg question. Chris phenomenal question sceptre someday. When leg it's like, North Dakota state beat Notre Dame in the playoff national championship. And one million college football fans died on the spot. Now will know why? Because that that'd be the funniest possible results of any football game. Right. Something like that, you know, north western. That's too far fetched sorry. North Dakota state at least by their full title. You've been reading lovecraft, son. That would mean we'd have to watch. Gibson as they're so eager to tell you. True true. But yeah, I I think that let us know crash. I think any that's good though. Sorry roller. Badillo grads. The the order of the evening for those for those of us still tethered to the coin thirteen of our introduction of this hour long college football that hits the table of contents folks for those of us still, unfortunately tethered to life on earth. Earl let me get up in them appendices. Gander temporal realm. Yep. Ryan, Tom, which you hit listeners with and I didn't do it Dixon did case until him. Would you hit the listeners with folks, we have an undetermined origin for this thing of which nobody is claiming responsibility. We asked us new listeners for your the things you hope to accomplish this off season your off season goals. It's a lot. It's a long time of year. It's it's the majority of the year, in fact, so what do you hope to get out of it? And what do you hope your team gets out of all this time? I can start us off real quick. I I I think I plan to run a marathon say July, August, something like that. What's the longest you've done before? I've done the half. Okay. So it'll tattoo for it. If I'm not mistaken. Yeah. So which which one do you want to about this somewhere? I'll have to look at the schedule to see if there's anything official going on at the time. You're not gonna run like a freelance marathon, I really might. Kind of thing. I would do. But you you could you could just run the libertarian Maratha. It is the sovereign citizens marathon sorry that was me almost fallen into lava again, where it's like it's a tribute to the original or it's like I have to run twenty six miles to tell the gun shop that the libs are coming up. That's right. It's exactly what it was. It makes Greece. And see a goal for my college football team. I hope Kennesaw state continues to schedule no-one at all. I hope we forever remain the team that does not play a God damn. With of a good team until we get beaten in the playoffs. I very much like a lot of every year. It's awesome. I don't know. What you see a fans are complaining about just kick the shit at a terrible teams have a lot of fun for three or four months. Maybe when your bowl, maybe you don't let the dragon. That's dragon. I would I was going to cover. It can I can I do a reader's before two miles because I think this is really this is related to mind. Sorry. Look y'all got talk about your fucking video game for like nineteen fucking weeks. Time to pay the fiddler rents do rinse. Do towed. It. Doughnuts. Anti think we can all agree on that. Can we have that guy on the show many tech guy? She's black walk. This is this is canon. I wanted to just mention it important one beat the Kupa that looks like Spencer damn I know taking taking ELS of not inflame game man didn't even make you Morton calmed down at TC internet says one stop losing two nine year olds and smash brothers online who call me, Peter. But is that for resolution for us or for them? You know, what I'm gonna make it a resolution to start losing to the eight year old in my house who goes, Peter. But when dad, but death, but yeah. So I'm gonna do that at least good nuns off to teach your eight year old son better burns, no K because he's gonna use them on me. He's still going to be had. But that was his what was that? You let him win and something and he was like dad, but oh, yeah. Never again. Yeah. Yeah. Now, what did you let him win? And I forget I let him when in a game of what was it? Oh cars three the combat arena section of car three, and he screened capped it and put ha LL dad's socks or something. Cap which I was you let him win. I was at the moment. Like Kentucky fans, please send Spencer's screengrabs of the end of the Florida Kentucky game with that written. No friend. Yeah. To thirty eight Godfrey. I'm pretty sure he wrote with. But which is funnier. I think yeah. The other one he has another goal, which is have fun and make new friends go. Oh, you hoosiers. Fund, indiana. I know it's fascinating. Yeah. But I I wanted I want to go ahead. Be like, you know, that's not a bad goal. That's manageable that small that's that's cheap -able. Right. That you might be able to at least pizza hopefully could beat like at least one nine year old and then call them a Peter. But that that's the goal. So it's my turn. Yes. Wait. You didn't say yours were though, did you? We're gonna come back to mind. Okay. I. I had to address important peanut news. I. My goals for Florida or. I think I think like just Dan Mullen, not doing anything catastrophically embarrassing doing nothing memorable. If you can just not be Memed over the course of the off season. That would be good. I realized that like Ryan would you rather have a ten win season or Amine free offseason mainframe, free offseason? All right. I wanna find the line eleven eleven free offs eleven win season. Yeah. Eleven one. Okay. Cool janika. Sure. And the personal. So this is the time of year where because I'm deeply broken. I get most excited thinking about cool shit. We can do over the course of the off season and next year. So like, I don't have anything specific. But I just like knowing my head this is when we're going to figure out, you know, this is the time of year last year when I heard a couple years ago when I was like, okay, blooming onion, maxa thing. I wanna do this is the time of year last year. When I think we started to talk about doing a live show this. I am I am I'll go ahead and put this out to the universe. If you live near the Lafayette Popeye's, and you are willing to be an emissary. And you think that you have sort of the do you think you can do this in a convincing way? If you're gonna show up in, you know, pod cat. Damn. And you want to help us make this happen. Let me know. Like if I if I was close, I would do it myself. But we let's just make this the year. We do the Popeye's buffet live show. There's another here that our impression that this hasn't happened because we don't want it to happen. Absolutely. Not the case. That's false. Yeah. So those are those are my goals. Yeah. We've definitely mentioned before that. You don't have to tell us that we want this to happen. Yeah. Now us dear very suggestive about this chicken to Spencer, Wooding arson. Okay. My my goal is one. I would like to read actual books a lot more like I have three or four Artie sort of like on the docket. I will read them not because they're just on my like because your books are on the shelf. Doesn't mean you really have to read them, right? And I have on the shelf. Yeah. You know, it would help it could take them off. Take a sample. Doodoo? So I wanna do that. What books are on that list? Oh, you know, like I got a bunch of like stuff. I'm not gonna read that's like recommended prestige. And I really should just read what I want to what I'm like today. I or you know, what I ordered today to read there's a lot of fan fiction. That's like in heart. The Kenny stabler autobiography snake like. Yeah. I ordered that order that hard cover, and I even paid for like, you know, Amazon two day shipping because I gotta have hot Kenny stabler stories from like the seventies. They're all hot. Don't worry. Well it south Alabama at ain't coal radioactive DEA it evolves. Kenny stable, welcome to the new snake? So is going to be hot. So I just like I want to read a lot more that like, I do actually occasionally my interest. Intersex something. That's like, vaguely prestige. I wanna read that book about a theranos the blood something, right? Bloodwork rich insane people, right. Yeah. I like I like books where it were, you know, bad blood. That's the name of it bad lives. Yes. That great. That's exactly what you should call that book. Like, don't Aim High. I was going to call it in gold blood. My fairness book, but you know, I want to read that because it's about idiots losing money. And I think that you know, that's not fantas right? That was starting a blood company theranos workout plan. What actually no that's an idea? You don't actually have to do it. You just tell everyone you did it. And then you know, that's oh my God. We've been living in this all along. I know we have so, but yeah, like I want to read that because it's it's idiots losing money. And I absolutely that's the best plot for me is idiots lose money or something happens at sea. Those are you can buy those if you really the only two clubs those are the only man is only ever come up with two original plots, and those are those two plots the fire festival. Which is why I'm going to watch both of those documentaries book about this do there. Yes. Hulu beaten up flicks. Netflix is dropping today is Monday. I think Netflix comes out on Wednesday and out of Hulu had announced that they were doing documentary, but sort of that got lost in the mix, and they hadn't released a trailer anything and today who was just like boom here. It is fuck you net. Flicks. We have an Armageddon deep impact situation with fire festival. Correct. Correct. I'm still gonna watch both. I'll be busy for the next four hours. Watching both of these documentaries about the biggest collection. I do I do know this about the the Hulu one. It has somebody saying well when Joe rule gets involved with something, you know, it's real. Call John real. Literally, literally the Dave joke made real. Yeah. No. That's it. So that's that's my goal. My team goal. This off season would be for everybody to just practice a whole bunch of reps and stuff. So that like so that you know, they actually know what they're doing on every single plane. We can actually like, you know, do a little bit more offensively. That'd be cool. They were filing that they were offense. No they were five but like reps, just go. Go just like the goal for Florida's and have the most boring off season. Yes. That's it. Yeah. Off the board is great, man. Nobody gets injured. Nobody falls off a scooter. Nobody has like an outlandish firearm charge. Our coach, isn't you know, recruited away. You know, which is a new concern for us. I know but fuck a shark. Yeah. You know, what I don't really care if DEM as long as Dan mullah's winning? He can pose nude with whatever form of marine life. You wants to now. I wanna be clear, I'm not okay with that. You're not go k. What if he doesn't really boring way if it's if it's tasteful campaign for like the Monterey Bay Aquarium? Yes. So. Like, the shark, and I went to a best western. Yeah. There for one night, Dan bullets always been passionate about CR's. That's not quite the same as sharp. Yeah. That's a cute. Little little Dirk. Right. How about a sewing? No, no sea otters are assholes terrible squid seemed like they got a lot of crevices though. Yeah. This is getting Japanese eating. Let's just let's go back to the original purpose of this segment. Yeah. Don't wanna be caused the pollen fine. We're talking about ambitions. Ryan sorry. Boring off season read a lot more. My I have very very low low bars to clear this off season. Your goals are not different from like a man in prison who's just trying to serve out another couple years. I I just want to read more and no trouble. That's all I want. Or a guy who's having a house built? Yeah. I got enough going on. All right. Would you reduce Ryan homeownership the modern prison? Why wouldn't that be your golden because that's happening? Whether I wanted to or not. He also doesn't want to. He also doesn't want to jinx it like the minute. He says, oh, I want. This to happen. Is contractors go to call him. And be like, yeah. Turns out all your floors were made out of dead ghosts. So we got replace. That sucks. Those good live. Those live goes for. Goose were dead goats. Yeah. That's what I thought. I had. No. Yeah. So I don't I don't even like to talk about that. That's how superstitious I am about it. That's that. Like, I don't it'll be real like I have I am so pessimistic that I don't actually like to even consider that. This is real that. We're going to have a roof. Right. Like now, this is also your approach to Florida football into eighteen in night in. So so I don't talk about it. I didn't mean to say that loud. Yeah. Thinking out loud. All right. Jason you have some submissions from the readers, right listeners. So yeah, we've all taken a look through these various lists on Twitter and the read it and one before we before we get into some others one group. I went to acknowledge is the Bama fans because you folks, don't usually have things to worry about in off-season, if we're being honest juries, usually like, oh it lost ten. Traffic's full. They deserve it. Usually the Bama fans concerns are like, oh, we have to replace Steve are Qizheng. You know, like every team has to replace div Sarkissian that happens to every team every year. Bama fans usually don't have. But right now, you do you kinda do have some problems concerns because you just lost game by twenty eight points. And that is not a thing that teams that are in that are on excellent footing tend to do. So let's see let's just run through real quick. Marcus are Jackson on Twitter wants to lose fifteen pounds loud. People in that in that boat exiting January and wants to hire some coordinators. We keep for at least three years hashtag roll tide. Imagine Bama having a coordinator for three years. Like Kirby was there for a while. But but he's he slept. He slept. He went into hibernation during the off season. So it didn't add up to full years. Yeah. He was on. He was on that Georgia time. He went the rallies that's worth. Job peeling Alice also went to it or went to demolish the patriarchy. That's a good off-season goal. Yes. Get that done in five months in Alabama. And once Sabin needs to stop turning his coaching staff into a home for wayward coaches syncing a trend here. Hey, there have been any rumors about who might join Alabama recently have their circus back. Right. Oh, I thought there was a sexy room. A. I can't keep track. What what else do we have? Oh, I mean, this is the thing. Or not. But there were people speculating the Bobby Trina was joining staff. Oh. That's all we need to say. That's all we need to say about it that that's enough. That is sexy. You know, like bear Bryant said. Momma. Call Rammer jammer. Help time Forty-six Stephen on Twitter says wants to lose a pound or two maybe read a book, good good standards. There also has Bama to get in the best shape of their life. Stop wasting time in class study the playbook and more film study more DVD's more defense in big games. Hire a few NFL coaches analysts. I the modest goals there. Sort of feel like desperation setting in good. Keep these college coaches let in the cream. You're down here. I like this in a lot with this is accompanied with these shocked peak at you Evy with Obama hat on. Personal goal care about my team less when they get stumped by Clemson in the national championship. It doesn't hurt as badly as it did goal for Bama figure out how to not get stopped by Clemson and the national championship as badly as they did. Let's let's pause on this. I think about how wild that is that assuming you've been in Alabama fan for a sizable sizeable portion of time and all of the good you have seen and all of the success. You've enjoyed that. Even that even a historic run of winning and championships and dominance cannot insulate you from the pain of getting stumped. That's like why what happened to your carapace? Supposed to be great oppose. Just like, that's it's a little depressing. Got the the history of the sport piling up banners and trophies and accolades and all that like that's cool in all. But really when you really boil it down, the only thing that matters. It's Hugh got their ass kicked. Most recent. That's all that's life, man. Like like, go up to a Kentucky fan talk shit right now about Florida Bill laughing your face why? Because they've beaten you once in the last thirty two years, but it happened to be this year, fresh one. Yeah. Like thirty one years gone poof, it never happened. Yeah. They're baked goods. It's like, oh, man. I've had thirty two good croissants here, and they're like em, and guess what? I've last one. I got the last what it was so fresh you gotta stop eighty thirty two croissants once sitting do not it, you know, what that's the kind of list my resolutions. Yeah. That that's the kind of thinking that got us beat by Kentucky. You. Go ahead. This off season Florida football eating all the pastries. Chris volk? The bulk bull from the read it de- deja intend, dude, perhaps personal goal record acoustic album, an assume it's just Rammer jammer ten different ways of Angola. Get better assistant coaches, please. No Sark, please. Last in the Bama group from lonestar Ayla AOL on Twitter personal goal. Not eat anymore. Fast food team goal. Not have the president feed. Well, there's one way to avoid that. That's the lead Clemson take that particular bullet because Clemson went to the White House. And in case you were not on college football internet on Monday. The president fed them fast food, not just fast food, but like the most basic mediocre. The home of five guys. Surely, they at least got gigantic burgers. No, the president gain afford to buy a whole football team. Five guys are president poor. I mean, I mean that is a lot of money five guys Israel expenses are resident thousand air president. So what I'm unclear about is. There was Wendy's at this, right? It was mostly McDonald's. But like there's not a Wendy's. The closest Wendy's is like a bit of a drive. It wasn't just sort of like, oh this is nearby. And this is this is easy. Like, so they like drove past all the Popeye's into knows as a library in the White House and put an in office Wendy's like sad Yang corporate campuses. Clearly, they got bunker Wendy's like the closely, I think the closest White House the closest Wendy's I think is like twenty minutes away. Man. I know who has the bunker. Wendy's though, it was built by bainer like Wendy's is an Ohio thing, right. Yeah. He had one put in the congressional Bucker at a Wendy's foot in when you need to take the edge off after a long night at the skin tone of a man who lives on chicken nuggets. Yeah. Yeah. That man's. You know, listen three Marlboros though, I opener. A loaded baked potato. Hey, girl. Buy you a frost? We've talked enough about what John bainer is doing with his life right now. He's isn't a weed lobbyist. Yes. Super super super chill, bro. We'd hustler now. Yeah. Tells you how to get it on the we'd business, and I'm like brother, I have numerous forms of music that have you to the seminar. So of the the mini things that were humorous about the dinner setup for clemson's White House. Visit what did you all enjoy the most? I know what my personally answer is. But I wanna hear from you. I enjoy that. He was still wearing his really badly tailored coat indoors share that was poorly cut. So that he just looked like he really does look like a big vacuum cleaner wearing a human. Just. Being room, but old ones, Scott big campus. Oh, yeah. Like horrible smelling gasoline-powered vacuum cleaner from the fakir Seapower vacuum cleaner from the fifties. And then slept with like two feet of lunch meat on either side like surplus lunch, meat and cheese. I'm upset right? And then then like then like a sort of since skin pulled over that topped with a few delicate light golden hairs pulled from a fresh. Corpses. Head not a fresh for the cheese. Here's wendy's. Yeah. I like that he probably got Wendy's for vegetarians that is. Looking at the spread the salads. I believe the salads are Wendy's any has like I think these are like a wraps from Wendy's. Something like get it for what he's talking too much to get of what saying in this scenario is what I'm kind of fascinated guess, we're he's fucking cheapest. He's like oh get like twenty quarter pounders twenty a cheese polar get an armload salads. So my actual first away Reese still doing 'em. Did I interrupt? Somebody's thought because I know it's please go ahead. Like, I did a lot of talking in the in our immediate. Aftermath podcast talk about how so much of Clemson success owes to what they've done as an institution in terms of committing to this football program meant those boys have been eating training table stake for months if not years at this point, depending on how long they been on the team that much fast food is going to upset their systems. I think that this was an act of sabotage on behalf of president who secretly pull him for the tide. I will also point this out have you ever had to at the last minute. Get a lot of food for people and yourself in Hungary and stressed and panicked. Yeah. It's called going to the beach yet. This is exactly what this looked like. Right. Like when dad's got a scramble for food right to get dinner for like six kids. I don't know wherever they can ravioli, I don't know if you've been at that drive through speaker and gone how many hamburgers do you need like this is a sin. Batter to I need a cheeseburger in a coat and a cheeseburger, coats and a cheeseburger in coke. Yeah. It's when you go how many do you need you and the answer in your head? You could say ten or you could say seventy and that number is. Yeah. Keep them coming. Just give me give me a sack. That's what some because you don't know what he's sack president. Oh are like a crystal sack full inhuman for me like a crystal sackful patrol. If you put up you say expensive petroleum, and that's what pops up yet quit wizard. Ing just quit wizard and die over it is my favorite thing to think about this scenario is that so the president needs a lot of fast food normally, but and people have talked about like what is going to order is. It's pretty gross sounds unpleasant. But whatever. But when that I don't think I the I can I can look this up Trump. It's like a chocolate, shake, a Big Mac and filet of fish. Oh. Chocolate chicken flavor. Fish should actually turn to concrete like in your stomach. I hope that all that hot by on. I've got it right here. Okay. His goto. Order is too big Macs to fillet official inches and a large chocolate shake. So just like it's a lot. It's a lot. But I guess terrorists. But I get that. They're dead. I get that somebody goes out and get that, you know, probably secret service agent or in an aide or something goes out gets the food, and they probably have to do some inspecting of it to make sure that, you know, the president's not gonna be poisoned or whatever. But they had to do this for one hundred, you know, hundreds of individual fast like what is that security process? Like, how is specially during a government shutdown? How are we screening all of this? It wasn't. Now. That's what as our for knows. Absolutely. Yes. Some GI sitting there is just like, listen, I'm gonna eat it. If I die in the next two minutes. Okay. Somebody's like the things you'll do for Clemson football. They'll be like would you do that for our president hail note? Would you do that for Clemson man handed over do anything for these Tigers? They've worked hard the other thing I like in some of the photos of like the setup before Clemson got there. You know, there's the president proudly lording over his stacks on stats on stacks. But there's also nother man who is probably White House staffer who knows what who's, you know, setting things up and giving the candle bre all that, and he's worrying doesn't have the law. Bre he doesn't have doesn't have the jacket on. But he's he's got like a bow tie. And what looks like a tuxedo t shirt a tuxedo shirt rather? And suspender, and I'm like this dude woke up this morning and said, it's time to look nice clemson's coming to town put on tech, and then had to artfully arranged boxes of quarter pounders in big Macs. That's amazing. That's that's. I that's a day. A real person had. A lot of people compared this spread to the one in Talladega nights where they're they're praying to baby Jesus around like mountain, dew and wonder bread and Little Caesars. I thought of a different John rally Wilford all seen the one where they're wearing tuxes in farting in during job interviews. One like. Yeah. This is just one of the funniest meals. Anyone has ever I think? To credit to criticize this meal is to ignore the amazing comic quality of it. Yeah. Was it appropriate? No. Is it is it hilarious and therefore good? Sure. It is the shutdown focused of state meals. I will say that she's it bowl. This is this is what you give the cheese at ball champions. Think about what every other White House. Visit in every other era has gone through they go, I don't know guess rubber chicken and eight president, you know, remembered he shouted me out. You know, hey joke about me. That's fun. And then, you know, we got to look around then they assured us out, and it was over these guys get to go like me. I don't know, man. We were some busted as fast food feast with this four on. Here's the other good part. So like business will continue in the government to the extent that it is right now. So that means like Chuck Schumer is gonna come to the White House in a couple of days and the president is going to hand him a multiple Dale filet of fish? Regale you hungry. Go ahead. Visit in the fridge. You know, he's not throwing that shit out. He's meeting that ship for a week in the intern. Who went and got this, right? No dishes there being no screening. He's not being reimbursed. Not. He's sitting. He's like I dunno got like six hundred seven hundred bucks worth fast food, just got an invoice that Donna Boyce got the miles. Didn't you? Yeah. But those miles have to be reimbursed by whom the IRS this. No, you're not getting any. And even if you file it is never given back to you take it from sports writers kid, we know when you're getting fucked on expenses. The other thing is this how much money do you think Trump this caused forty bucks? Kid be either either, oh, this is only like thirty five dollars or it was like an eighteen thousand dollar yet. You feel dine in big time. Now, this is what I have on my special day. That's true. Like one hundred dollars. That's true. This is dinner for him. They literally are eating like the president. Didn't say which president. Oh my God. That's what he was doing. Let me show you the food of my people can travel from far off lands. Would you like let dine like Barros cower full man alive sumo shining splur- and the world is my food court. Aladdin? You've showed me so many things. Do you think he was bummed the first time he would see night a nation's and he's like there's no pin deke's. Let's hear this bullshit. That's a little too spicy panda express. There's no Sabar. Are you fucking kidding me? I think in his mind the United Nations. There's a McDonald's. There's an Italian McDonald's. There's an Australian McDonald's. Like how like consider the people in the room? They're Davos still had an amazing time. He's probably like, oh, man. The president. He gave us McDonald's. Those amazing. I do wish whoever had gotten this food had as a nod to the internet just gotten a single arby's item and put it by. Shout out to our buddy the gurgling cod who I'm sor- had an app uplifted fit. When he saw this ties. This college students would want anyway. Well, there's a lot of things you didn't give them when they visited okay Cup. Students would want it. Anyway. It's not a good idea. Let's let's do some more listener listener aspirations for the season. I pulled a couple from are are ready squad. I'm gonna start with this one from appropriately give pizza chance personal goal finish finish chemotherapy. And hopefully, sir teacher certification. Yeah. That's great. Good luck with that all goes super. Well. Texas technical get a signing named goose to go along with maverick and iceman. Is this true? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They do. They did. They did add a a do cO tight end whose name is Travis coons. But he goes by iceman. He was definitely. Yeah. Yeah. Fuck you gotta go get go get the goose, whoever it is find a goose, even though that doesn't bode well for that person's playing career, but whatever. Yeah. Good. I would like to choose this one. This is from at Gordon ninety three. His personal goal is to adopt a horse. I mean, I think that's noble, right? If your position to support and take care of a horse. I encourage people to do it. That's great rescuing emotionally supportive horse. No, no lie. Support the hindquarters. They're extremely sensitive animals. And but become teach it to place kick. Okay. That lu. I support the MVP. And I wish you luck. I don't you dare rain on this man's dream. I can't a horse have goals it stops here. That's saying do, you know horses have three hearts I question three times as many wishes I questioned like three points. It's destiny I questioned whether a horse can have field goals is it's got a regular heart. And then a heart for the front legs a heart for the back legs. That's what I'm. That's what I'm that's what might Gundy's looking for. I want quarterback with three hearts. I saw snake with three hearts once strongest naked oklahom-. His other goal is to is. This is for the team. I guess is a one hundred percent field goal percentage by the place, kicking horse, sir, sir. Again, I wish you luck. But if you do get the horse to even place kick. Perfection seems a bit farfetched. So here, here's the one. Downside of those. Being college kicker now sucks, right? It's a lot of pressure. You have virtually no support getting recruited is a fucking nightmare. Because college college football staffs, they have a special teams coordinator but half the tough. But you hear these stories all the time like that guy knows nothing about place kicking and your development in college may be like here. Here's a camera in my pads. What you're doing wrong and try to fix it on your own. So now on top of this. You are kicker a you go to insert school here. At your rival school or at another school in the conference. There's a fucking horse that's kicking one hundred percent on field goals. And now you're being compared to that. Do you know how much that sucks? You know, how much will suck the how people say, hey, why do you keep missing field goals when a literal horse can do it? Yeah. But here's the deal. Okay. This is what I would want to see if a horse actually became a field goal kicker. Right. Is I would want a horse to miss a crucial field goal. And for no one to say. Well, that's what happens when you make a horse your field goal kicker. Instead, I want everybody to go. College kickers, glued great moments glue, glued gluten gluten when we just bypass it. We're light real blue guy where like damage Shaughnessy. Yeah. So inconsistent since October. It's in his head because he can't look straight at the goal. Dumb ass. They got a stair. Let's kick on an angle. Do you think? Yeah. Okay. I was gonna say do you think the horses keeping horses? Can't kick front words. They gotta face away from the goal. You think they're like donkey kicking it. Their their knees. Bend in such a way to allow. I don't think the horses have that kinda hit motion. That's anybody know anything about the hip flexes of horses, Texas, AM fans, please at thirty eight Godfrey actually that do that send a ticket. That's an infant is probably written a forty two page paper on this. Right. I got my PHD horse kicking. That's what what animal would be the best kicker. Right. Like, this is appointed donkey like straight on like if you actually had to kick a field goal, and you have to have Ford flex right or rear kicking looking back. Right. The look back at it technique how how lib like if a if I train an alligator to whip its tail and hit the ball or we count that. If you can get it to do it consistently rely. Guess right. That's a good way. Kangaroo. Kangaroo kicks forward. Right. Right. I don't know if it can do like a token or it can do like a direct while it can Bama I'm gonna go with because I've seen them do this in an attack. I'm going to go with a giraffe because a giraffe has that long lever. Right. And I've seen footage of drafts kicking lions. And if you can kick a lion into the air, which they can do if you can kick a line. You could kick a ball. I'm guessing that they can decapitate align with a kick. I'm pretty sure that can hit one from sixty. I think an elephant is a good pick plan for this. And yes, recognize the Bama joke. They're not necessarily because they'll be really good at it. But who the fucks going to like sign up to black a field goal kicked by fucking elephant. I'm faking every time to the kicker. Feel it's on the field. We are running down. I don't care. I don't care. What it is. You gotta bring it down before it gets to the sticks kid. I personally don't believe in elephants. Just my opinion. How the hell you gonna call horse colored sowed even horse? Just wrap up. Okay. Second ellison's. Here's the problem. Somebody's gonna do research do their Edison research should be like electrocution, that's legal. You can have apparently if you have money you can do that. We got Nick safe. Go ahead and employ that defense fucking dark. Okay. This is from YARD. Now, this Dr quietude thirty eight on on our read it personal goals. Eat better meditate, more stop being such a pain in the ass to deal with for my wife and kids. Oh, that's step one right there. Yeah. If one. Yeah itself awareness goal for Kentucky. Well, you're Kentucky fan soon. Probably still going to be a pain in the ass for your wife. Kid, sorry, proved twenty eighteen wasn't entirely a fluke. That's a good thing. That's very reasonable. Good goal for your football team. Especially for Kentucky men have to really good years in a row. That's that'd be huge for Kentucky. Yeah. To have to really good years in a row, right? Even have a really good followed by a good that would be a lot for that program. Just like what what are we talking about? Like eight wins prob. Yeah. What go eight and five beat the right teams. Like, you know, you want those those five to fall where you where they should fall. Right, right. Lose lose lose like a west game because everybody will sort of ignore that. Don't Vanderbilt don't lose road game in the SEC rice, right, right? Like, those those add up and as long as you beat the dog off Louisville at the end of the year. I think you're good, man. True. Yeah. It don't kiss in. That's going to happen next year 'cause they're not going to be out of the woods for a while. Also have one from cash lock personal goal figure out how people with jobs and kids make time to play more video games. Do you have any advice here Spencer or Jason to play more video game? Yeah. When you have a job, and you have children. I'm gonna give you a I'm gonna give you real pro tip here. All right. You're going to have to get up early. The people approach like going to the gym more. What what if this is your goal, man? I'm not the only way to get anything done as an adult is to get up earlier. That's it. Right. Well, people go the most effective people will get up at five AM. No. You know what they're doing? They're trying to get away from everyone who want something. That's all they're doing right. And they're like, I'm so happy because for two hours, I get up, and I just fart in my chair and drink my coffee, slowly, they're not doing anything, you think. Tim Cook's doing anything at apple. No, no one who makes that much money. Actually does anything. He sitting there reading Auburn two four seven. Okay. That's what he's doing. He's like, I gotta get these recruiting tips in before people. Start emailing me about no Chinese terror of Sirois. No, right. Like our profits down. Whatever I got a follow up on this important defensive tackle. Smells on is. What matters most. Yeah. Right. He probably probably wakes up at five, and you know, what Tim cook does. He emails Gus. And he's like damn it. Gus what is wrong was wrong? Gotta give I said in my newsletter and Gus malzahn been up since four playing Mario Kart. Yeah. That's right trap since four on a boat deep sea fishing. That's right and playing Super Mario Ving playing super. Mario Kart on the switch because he's on vote Moseley is a big waste of time. Yeah. No. You know, what you're going to go to bed early. You get up early. That's fine. Right. You like, oh, I'm going to get more sleep. Cool. Go to bed at nine wake up at five play little red, Dan too. Okay. So basically act like act like a hyper productive and successful person. But actually, just you're shifting your schedule. So you can play more video. You gotta sneak productive. Yeah. Depending on what your job is. You can also frame this as executive time then. In in the residents. Call a little personal somebody asked you how you're doing physically. Be like there's never been a more fit me than me alternatively when somebody asks you how you're doing personally say got it coming out both ends, and they won't bother you. And you can play video games more. Yeah. Also, if you feel if you feel in the least guilty about this. You know, what you can do dead serious? Get you a cheap treadmill or exercise bike put it right there in front of the TV, totally serious. I've done this. It is use it in it. No, no. No, no, don't say. It's just there. It's exercise by osmosis as long as you don't like stack. Hoodies on it, and like use it as a coat Rak will assume you use it, and that's just the same as actually using it. That's true. The goal for Georgia Tech cash locks chosen team score more than sixteen versus Clemson in the season opener slash ACC network debut. Maybe stick to the video game. Goal. Now. That's good. You outscored Bama. That's a good goal. I think that's a goal for every team that plays glimpse in next year outscore Bama. They're losing their whole defensive line. What if they give up more than sixteen points in like every game? This wasn't hard. We look back like damn Louisville scored more than sixteen. I think that's a great goal for every time. I like this one from Jim Gordon on Twitter this combo personal goal. Start biting my nails. It's written as start. And that's fascinating. It's a chief -able is very cheerful. But like. As a habit. I dunno comes. So naturally to be like, I don't feel like you could just pick that up. You know, either have it or you don't. Yeah. You've you've had a long time to refine your technique in ingrain this in your mind as something that champions do. Oh, yeah. And have the kind of restraint where you're like. No, no, not going to buy them today. Lip these needed. Let these go a little bit. Sometimes sometimes you do go too far out you. No, no. This is one of my few actual bills. Yeah. Spencer hall, and I'll come bite your nails. Will we have an entire network of people who if how we're gonna get charity bowl? That's right if yeah just download the app. To bite your nails for you nibble to dot biz. Yes. Bins. Use the promo code Spencer four twenty Spitzer blaze it for twenty. Thing I found out this week our wolf stick sixty nine Twitter account is still active. Yes, they have not taken that away from us. Now. Jack and Nazis. Oh, yeah. 'cause Twitter's Twitter of roles incharge 'cause Twitter's all over the keeping it clean side of things Twitter has I had heard. Yeah. I see no reason to doubt also Jim wants to leave the ACC for the big east. I took a look at gyms account and couldn't figure out what team this refers to. So let's just say smiley, Hugh, my ended. No, that's that's reminiscent for the big east right Miami. Or Virginia Tech. Almost everyone. Actually, I actually would like that. If Miami went independent, but said they were rejoining the big east. I am. We are the biggies who is more eastern than Miami. If you went right now to like Miami, Pitt Syracuse Louisville West Virginia Boston College. Yeah. Hey, fellas we to get the band bags together. Don't they all say? Yeah. That was a lot more fun sometimes winning. I guess Syracuse would say no we've earned our place. We'll stay here. A dominant force in the ACC after they did that after like fifteen out of twenty of the last years. They have been in the gutter. In the wilderness. The worst part is Yukon would be like, hey, guys. What about us? They'd be like later flickers call. No you got to win your conference to make the playoffs. They need Yukon. Nobody needs you gone. Yeah. Man. You you you add you in there? That is nice that patter. I'm going. I'm thinking of Jason strat here. I mean think about why the big ten at at Rutgers was it to add all those TV's. Now. It's so you can score seventy points. That's right. And they've had nothing, but playoff success since them. Who'd you want man, you want somebody who has got a goal like. And I hope you do it. I'm being very serious. And I am thoroughly encouraging you to do this. And at one point, of course, take a branded selfie, you know, encouraging everyone to listen to the shutdown forecast while you're doing this you won't because you'll be really you'll be too busy like cubing sports Trink up over your handle bars to do this. Because. Although if you're able to do it while picking up sports drink over your handle bars that would be very on Brant in my opinion. D S Serik also known as the Alabama grammar Nazi hell, the title, sir. But you're p yourself. He wants to complete. Let's see the Chehade challenge the challenge. Which is I mispronouncing I'm sure but is a bike race around Anniston Alabama, which is pretty hilly a one hundred mile ten thousand feet of elevation change bike race. Esam ambition y'all e n s puke worthy. Yeah. Seriously, cordy and then for his team as the accomplishment fire, Matt Luke? Short sweet to the point. I like it funny. The focus is what I like here. Okay. I liked it off season goal. Right. I also like that you gave yourself one hard goal is bicycle race and won easy goal. Fire. The coach everyone aids. We want him fire. We want his ass outta here before football season begins. I think that means the public records are being rifled through right now. Wait, hold on it at a stable institution. Like, oh miss. How could such thing happen does? Matt Luke have the most quietly upsetting Spooner ISM name in FTS latte. Yeah. Yeah. Now, it's still it's still fat his Gerald. Is there? How much would own oldness fan pay me during the charity? Drive to dress up like a raccoon and go through Matt looks garbage. Let's find out. That's fine. I'll dress up like to nookie. Mario. And I'll go through Luke's garbage looking for anything incriminating. Like. His half and half. How about how about we just lease this out as a service, you singer, nuke Spencer, anywhere? So this is how we're gonna make charitable money happen problem is Matt loose gonna look out his window seed Spencer at Thanou key. Mario suit be like, well, guess we got a new mascot or whatever. Once they seem to be getting less and less racist. At least we breaking news. Sorry. We've now found out the land shark is racist.

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