Hi this is rachel fisher and this denikin and we host the hollywood crime scene podcast. We're really excited to tell you about the best christmas ever on amc. Plus we're every day feels like christmas morning. It's the holiday season and that means it's time to see old friends like buddy the elf heat miser and clark griswold plus you get a stocking stuff with highly acclaimed. Amc series like the walking dead and madman new series like gangs of london and the walking dead world beyond. They're all here on amc plus so celebrate the best christmas ever anytime anywhere. Amc plus is the gift that keeps on giving all year long sign up today at amc plus dot com amc. Plus only the good stuff. Israel's story is brought to you by project kishida project. Cashier is a nonprofit organization that empowers invest in women. They develop jewish women leaders and interfaith coalitions in belarus russia ukraine and israel. They deliver torres. Two women who've never held one before broadcast women's health information on ukrainian public radio and help russian-speaking immigrants to israel advocate for equal rights. Learn more at project kiss. You got you like our show. We think you'll enjoy another awesome. Podcast passport helps you understand the world one place at a time every week. Neil innocent undress barcus bring you great music incredible interviews and local gems from around the globe. Discover why ufo hunters love peru. Go backstage with jerusalem's hip hop artists and much much more. Subscribe to passport. Wherever you get your podcasts. Hey guys it's me. She will be back in a couple of weeks with a brand new israel story episode. but today we're excited to introduce you to a new podcast that launch this fall. it's called schmaltzy and it's created by the jewish food. Society schmaltzy explores the intersection of jewish identity and food through live storytelling like the dishes. These tales revolve around the stories. Come with a complex mix of flavors joy disappointment laughter longing and love what i love about schmaltzy. What makes it. Special is how it celebrates the unique power of storytelling to unite us. Even were far apart just in time for hanukkah the episode will be sharing with you. Today is called midnight. Lakas with liz newmark. One night twenty years ago loses kids pleaded with her to abandon bedtime and make lots kisses. Liz couldn't resist today. Lack gaps in the memory of that night old a deep meaning for her. If you enjoy this episode of schmaltzy. I highly recommend you. Check out the rest of their episodes in subscribe to their feed their next episode features israeli tv food personality. Gil hovav a new york-based israeli chef. Not that the money okay. Enough for me. We'll be back soon with new israel story episodes and till then is schmaltzy. Do you think that you're able to reveal your lock goes secret ingredient. When we get to a certain level of subscribers we will post the secret ingredient what level is described. As do we need to get to. The gauntlet has been thrown down. Kane netted lynch the from the jewish food society. I'm amanda dell and this is schmaltzy each schmaltzy podcast episode revisits. A personal story told a jewish food society live event. Pull up a front row seat to hear the original live stories from the stage. Then we'll go behind the tales with the storytellers for more today on schmaltzy liz newmark. Liz is a chef and the founder of great performances in award winning catering and events company that she started as a waitress staffing agency for women in the arts in two thousand six. Liz establish catch ski farm in kinder- hook new york and founded the sylvia center a nonprofit organization dedicated to addressing issues in children's health lose is a third generation manhattanite and was named one of the one hundred most influential women in new york city. Business by crain's new york some stories. You just don't wanna stop in the middle and this is one of those stories so today we are going to break with the schmaltzy podcast tradition and listened to loses entire story before she joins us in the studio. Here's liz from the schmaltzy stage at the new york city wine and food festival where she shared a very personal story about loss living in the moment and resilience so about twenty years ago my catering business was really starting to take off and it was such an exciting time. We had just moved into a great facility in hudson square. And we're getting to expand within that footprint. We had signed the contract with ian schrager and we were operating the hudson hotels so we were really cool. And every day was a combination of meet with customers and clients and internal planning and of course events and all. This was really great. But for the fact that i also had for young children at home under the age of ten and my husband constantly worked laid and when he was working late he was traveling so as you can imagine it was really hard to find balance in my life trying to juggle work and home so i realized really early on that the key to my success both privately personally and professionally was secretive schedule and a routine and stick to it now. I knew about planning. Because i was from the event world where everything has a plan and a timeline and you stick to it no deviation i had waited a really long time to become apparent and i did not want to be an absentee mom. So most days. I took my children to school race downtown. Flew home at the end of the day in order to join them right at dinner time and then we would do baths and story time. And that was the routine heels off sweatpants on and after they went to sleep i would of course get back online and get back to work and try to finish up. Whatever i'd started that day and sometimes they even out to parties so one winter nights started out like most accept this night. I had a really big presentation to finish a deadline for client. So i got home with the baths and the ready for story time. I'm kind of thinking. Let's get this done. So i can get back to work and nelson katie. My nine and eight year old daughters were in their room. They were playing and chatting and wait information. Finish up with the little too and get to them. Sam who was eight and sylvia. San was five and sylvia. The baby three had picked out. One of their favorite books called a story felina in the book. Lena's grandma shares a family fable about apple strudel. So how can i describe what happens next. You know the book if you give a mouse a cookie thing well talking about apple strudel. We started thinking about apples. And talking about apple's of course led directly to apple sauce and the mention of applesauce little sylvia's green eyes lit up and she looks at me and she says why. Don't we make lockers right now and we can eat them with applesauce. Okay so let me tell you about lakas in my family. It's not a special event food. It is not just for. It's kind of like peanut butter and jelly. But it's not because peanut butter and jelly is really quick. Lakas is all the ingredients and it makes a mess and you need a lot of time and then you gotta clean up. And i'm thinking. I gotta get back to work. And she's looking at me like and then sam starts in Grew up to become his high school debating team champion so he tells me they're hungry. Says mom will do it really quickly. And we're going to help clean up and you know what tomorrow night. We will skip stories and we will go a bit early and you know what were starving and sylvia's just egging him on and looking at me and thinking so course i said yes and off to the kitchen we go and all the ingredients come out and with expert and eager little hands. They get started and sam's peeling the potatoes and they're taking turns put into the cuisinart. Great in the onion and sylvia's cracking the eggs on the bowl and mixing in the flower and the seasoning. And she's starting to stir and it's exactly what you expect for cooking with a three year old there are eggshells. The batter and the flower is everywhere. Especially all over her pajamas and she's just chattering away and surreptitiously dropping little treats on the floor for the cat. It was great and lo and behold lot closer fried outcomes the applesauce and the feast began so with full bellies and a sink filled with dirty dishes. They finally march off to bed really self-satisfied and just reeking of cooking oil and it was a perfect night so a few short years later about four years later the unexpected happened. We were upstate. A at our neighborhood celebration. August night when sylvia starts running into a complaining of a really really terrible headache. I took a ride home and my best friend. Who's a doctor came along with us. We got home. She collapsed and lost consciousness. We raised to the hospital and they told us. It was an aneurysm that there was nothing that we could do. She was put on life support and two days later. My beautiful sweet daughter was gone so there really are no words. It's nothing you could describe. I wish that the earth could open me up and just swallow me whole. But i had three young children who needed a strong a mother and father to study their world so i got up and got out of bed every single morning. When i did my shopping. I would sometimes go down to the greene market. And what i discovered was when i was there sort of it was able to escape my pain somehow being with the vegetables and the agriculture and all that life was very healing. Now that summer. I had been taken salmon. Sylvia with me every week to a putnam county farm to pick up. Arcia say share. And i'll never forget. There's one week were there. And they are playing in the dirt with the bugs and the rocks at my feet. And i'm talking to farmers odd and i tell him you know. I really wish i could have a farm of my own and sam looks up at me. And he says big dreams so a few months after sylvia's death. I woke up one morning. And i knew what i had to do. It turned to my husband. And i said we are going to buy a farm. And we're going to create a legacy for sylvia sylvia who really more than anything else wanted to become a helpful human and had. She had the chance she would have done. Something really remarkable so we bought. We started a company and we called the big dreams and we bought land started our farm which was home to the sylvia center where kids come and they learn about healthy eating and good food because we teach them how to cook. Now kids learn by doing so. When i'm there and i'm watching these kids and they are cracking eggs and laughing and chopping vegetables and cooking together and eating together. You know what i feel. Sylvia's spirit and the joy and everything wonderful and good about the world that she really embodied and that year. We started a lot festival as a fundraiser. For the sylvia's center. Now yes. it's a little odd of fried food festival for a healthy eating program but is really a great event and it's eleven years later. Hundreds of people come celebrity judges music lots and lots of lot goes and it is a night of joy of celebration of community and it's the best night of the year. It reminds me of that night many many years ago when i could have said no it's bedtime and instead i chose to say yes. Thank you you look tired. I take it the caffeine toothpaste and adrenaline face serum aren't working. Well maybe you should ask santa for a nectar mattress this year. And if the big guy brings you another unicorn finger. Puppet don't worry because mattresses start at just four hundred ninety nine dollars and she gets three hundred ninety nine dollars in accessories thrown in as well as three hundred sixty five night home trial and a forever warranty go to nectar sleep dot com today. If you're enjoying this episode of israel's story you'll also want to check out another podcast coming out of israel a dasa uncall- new frontiers medicine is an interview. Show that good behind the scenes at hadas world renowned hospital. You'll meet healthcare superstars such as the team that the first surgery assisted by two robots the cornea specialist who reverse total blindness and many others subscribed to dasa on. Call it haddassah dot org or wherever you get your podcasts. This episode is sponsored by better help. A worldwide network of licensed professional therapists with a great variety of expertise committed to making counseling more affordable and accessible. Better help will match you to a counselor. Best suited to your needs with whom you'll be able to schedule a weekly video or phone therapy sessions as well as exchange written messages whenever you need visit. Help dot com slash. Israel's story today to get ten percent off your first month that's b. e. t. t. e. r. h. e. l. p. dot com slash. Israel's story highlights what a powerful story. We are so honored to have you in the studio with us today. I'm really honored to be here. And i haven't heard that story since we told it at the event last year. Yeah new york city wine and food festival as a century ago. Thank you again for sharing such a. Poignant schmaltzy story and being so vulnerable on stage. What drove you to tell that story in front of an audience enough. There's a few parts to the answer. I think there's two parts one is what drove me. And then the second is when lee schrager the organizer the wine and food festival told me about the program and said be great if you had a story And i first pitched the idea. It was to raised eyebrows. Like could we tell such a sad story and that sort of dovetails with why. I think it's important to tell the story because one of the things i've learned is that life is not perfect. life is complicated and it's messy and we see that in this current environment now. And that i think everybody carries a story. I have mine realized that i'm not alone. Being apparent to lose to child burri parent as we call it. So i think we should not be afraid of telling sad stories but it's also a very uplifting story and the power of the human spirit. It's a schmaltzy story for sure. Isn't that what small zach lowe you laugh you cry you know. He went to highs. You wanna run outside. It's everything it's life. It's life and i think it is these challenges that led to find people definitely so now. Your kids are older in the story. We hear about the bedtime routine. And that is the finish line for most parents. Daily parental duties on some level. I can imagine you're probably looking forward to some me time as well though on those nights so so really what went through your head when your kids you know asked you for this bedtime laka party. I'll tell you. Essentially i'm a pushover when it comes kids especially as a working mom i. I don't think they'll say if you ask them to rate me how strict i was or was not. I don't think they would think i was terribly strict but they were really good. Kids eight and i started my kids. You know when. I was in my thirty submit thirties So he found it still. Losing of control has long since disappeared from my life. And i don't think i had it then. So when kids are really they're authentic self and you see their personalities emerging. And i always thought better to have them gang up together and feel that power that they have that me to try to deflect it so when they get their act together and make a credible pitch. I might not cave instantly. I know i'm going to give it that so funny that you mentioned that because that's the unsaid rule that i have with my sister it's always us versus them and we never stray from that. So that's interesting that you thought about cultivating that with your own children but still bring me back to that moment for just one second third hanging on you. They're begging for the lot your presentation that you want to work on like. Was there a big decision in your head or it was instant and you said you know what. I'm just going to do a little resistant. Just because i think that's important not to cave to instantly. But i i. I knew we were going there. Because you know what it was a treat for me to have to have that special moment with your kids is is incredible and still sorta related. They grow up. They move out. Life happens life intervenes. You don't regret it wasn't a ridiculous requests. It was just so juicy and so perfect and so in character with everything about us that it was it was just great another fascinating piece that i picked up on from your story at least to me. Was that you set. Lanka's warrant only a hannukah food in our family it was communist. Pb and j. How did that come to be a good question. they're just so delicious and we do have a secret ingredients. There's a reason why people should have made lockers more often a little a little messy but making a lot of different things for messy. Bacon is messy but lock the so delicious. But it's yes. Do you think that you're able to reveal your lock. Goes secret ingredient. Maybe it's it's you know. It's not up there with truffles and things that come from the dark side of the moon. It's it's really not exotic. So marinate on that one. Okay we'll check back in with you. Don't worry you or something. You grew up eating in your own family when you were a child. My mom i was. I'm one of four. My mother only learned how to cook when we all got married or moved out so no they with the world's worst lots of my mother did not enjoy anything about cooking. You know. I always say was sixteen before i knew the difference between light meat and dark meat and chicken. Do you think that part of your childhood inspired you to become a chef. When did you discover your interest in food. When did i discover even real food. I had We grew up in a very multigenerational families so my grandparents a really super close to all four and my grandmother And we spent a lot of time in the summers everybody's lived together One of my grandmothers my will call her. My russian grandmother nellie Whom i eldest is named for now. She was a very intuitive cook. And if you asked her what ingredients were as she would say a pinch a touch. You know this and that you know sort of floundered around on some kitchen table making her thing. So i knew what home cooked food looked like. We would have to go out to get it to one of our grannies and this was in manhattan where your family lived on the west side. We come across a lot of recipes. That are like oh pinch of this and like one teacup of this. So that's you know that's part of what we're doing here to shoot society trying to capture those beautiful things i. I wish i knew how my grandmother nellie made them. I wish i knew her ingredients. But i don't think she knew you know it's like okay. Let me let me improvise. I mean she's the perfect chef for today. When we think about full utilization of ingredients because nothing went in the garbage can imagine not so the sylvia's center the nonprofit you started in sylvia's memory. Children learn to cook. What have you learned from watching children. Cook show it's a the kitchen is really a magical place. I always when i talked to parents and adults about cooking with kids in the kitchen. I always quote miss frizzle school bus and you know what her matas get messy. Make mistakes and that to me should be the motto of being in the kitchen with kids. It's not about control if you're squeamish about a mess don't go in. You're you know if you if you can't stand failure. Don't go in. I've been this basic rules. You gotta watch you know how you handle a knife you say from the stove you want to establish that. It's got to be a safe environment. But within that context it's it's supplies for for final and learning and it's it's where you fall in love with the ingredients and flavors and tastes and the most amazing thing that happens afterwards is and we do this at the sylvia's center maybe not a during covid But before and after that we sit together as a community and we eat. And i will say one of the maybe. It's an indirect legacy of my mother's not really caring about the food itself. She really cared about the table. And the emphasis was on oncoming together and being together and the conversations and the multigenerational give and take that happened food. Okay that was a detail. She just wasn't into which is fine. But the tables looked gorgeous. My mother who died about three years ago probably could use a different dish three times if for every single meal for the rest of eternity and never use the same twice. She had a lot of stuff and loved setting a beautiful table. So you know everybody has a little different aesthetic. When it comes to it but i i have meandered love just picturing her cover amazing amazing amazing sets upon sets upon sets of everything before before we get to the table. I was you know thinking about another part of your story that that struck me as you were grieving. You said that the greenmarket was a place of incredible comfort for you. Why do you think that that was and what was it about the greenmarket and it was the fall so august september october which is really the most beautiful peak season. You've got just fall. Vegetables collided with end of summer. And of course tomatoes and peppers and people fight for their harvests and things happen and mother. Nature comes in upset. Soul your plans for the growing season. Or it's really this microcosm of of what we have is in our human lives. There's something life-affirming abouts saying how nature works and that seasons turn one from the other and being there was also a place to escape out of a community or people knew me and just look at me with sad eyes and stuff like that and the vegetables didn't do that and and i could engage with the farmers and now is just a a refuge. That was strangely comforting. You enter story with a very powerful line. Before i ask you one last question i want to replay that part of the story one more time cover minds me of that night many many years ago when i could have said no it's bedtime and instead i chose to say us thank you today. We're living in a time where the boundaries between family life and work have never been so blurred and parents are constantly having to make a choice like you did that night. What advice would you give them as they navigate these hard decisions. Sa- a great question and really. Nobody ever wants advice on parenting. So i don't offer it now. I think there was the head of the school. My children went miranshah. Rosca at the hessel. School used to say that choosing a school was a values clarification tests and the phrase has really resonated with me. I think these decisions we make day in day out. There's times you kids push your buttons and you just ready to lock them in a closet and throw away the key and you know you just can't control your emotions and that's that's very real especially i think when you were on top of them and his all the uncertainty and said very stressful time to be doing anything no less parenting but when you can get ahead of your emotions if you can you know you have to sometimes just count to ten and run that value clarifications tests. I'm apparent because you know and just knowing that not only that life is fragile. You can't live with that every moment but but just knowing that they're going to grow up and they're going to be out of the house and it's gonna be gone so these are moments that we never get back so sometimes just have to deep find that little extra bit of patience if you can and try to say yes. I guess liz. Thank you once again for sharing your story and for being on the schmaltzy podcast. It's a real honor to be here with you and thank you for letting me tell the story. I really that that that means a lot. It's one. I think about often to be honest. Well i will give you the ingredients offstage and maybe as encouragement to your listeners. When we get to a certain level of subscribers we will post the secret ingredient has subscribed is do we need to get to. Wow the gauntlet has been thrown out on the schmaltzy podcast. Liz will be giving us her secret lot ingredient. This is a person could lock us at the james beard foundation. She has a lot of festival she will be giving us the secret ingredient. So you better tell all your friends download and listen. You can get it anywhere. You get your podcasts. Good deal hannukah to utah. Schmaltzy is a production of jewish food society made with love in nyc. schmaltz produced. An edited by alan bennett. Our our executive producer is nama sheffi and our theme music is by yuval semo until next time. I'm your host. Amanda del if you enjoyed this episode of the schmaltzy podcast. Don't forget to check out the rest of their feet. Just search for schmaltzy wherever you get your podcasts. If the twenty four hour news cycle leaves you feeling like you know everything but understand nothing. You need to listen to deep background hosted by harvard law school. Professor noah feldman noah who is like a brother to me is hands down one of the smartest most creative and most original thinkers. I knew each week. He interviews experts and policymakers to explore the context behind the headlines is the supreme court nomination process and the election dominate the news. Noah's expertise in constitutional law is more relevant than ever this fall. He presents a special five part series deep bench which tells the inside story of how legal conservatives gained power and now find themselves in the grips of a civil war among conservatives about the future of their movement. Listen to deep background on apple podcasts. Brought to you by pushkin industries. One for mom and one for me. Hey beautiful ulta beauty invites you to see the joy this holiday season with top gifts for everyone on your list including you discover great last minute gifts like menia shadow palettes from julius place fragrance sets from plumbing gift cards and more shop in store online or trey curbside pickup today also beauty. The possibilities are beautiful.