Richard Flint To Win in Life Learn to Find, Face, and Control Your Biggest Fear
When I was sixteen been sixteen two weeks I was working at an idea grocery store in Ardmore Oklahoma and I called my dad to come get me and my my dad grow up front of the grocery store and stepped out of the car and I started to walk towards the guard just like I did every night detrimental? Wait a minute when he stepped behind the car he was carrying a suitcase and he walked over to where I was standing and he sets the suitcase down beside me and I was informed that that night my mother had a decided I could no longer live in her. Life in her house has low fellow risk-takers and welcome to my worst. I investment ever stories of loss to keep you winning in our community. We know that to win an investing. You must risk but the win big. You've got to reduce it. My name is Andrew Stotz from as DOTS investment research. And I'm here with featured guest Richard Flint Richard. Are you ready to rock. I'm really Andrew La- truck. Let's do it while Richard has been speaking in changing lives for over thirty years. He's staying power comes from a strong following of corporate clients associations that invite him back year after year. As one of America's top personal development speakers coaches he travels and speaks over one hundred hundred and seventy five times per year. That's crazy that's a huge amount and personally coach businesses and individuals while on the road considered considered a well guarded secret by many Richard Flint Inspires teaches and helps people and companies transform into their power to be so they can do or have anything they want. Interestingly he doesn't without you having to set goals I'd love to hear more about that. Richard is on a mission which he calls a crusade to help people have their best life possible he knows how to his own experience. Richard take a minute and filling for their tidbits about your life and boy that bio piqued my interest. Andrew crusade. Since I started this journey now about thirty to thirty three years ago is that every time that I am Im- invested in a light speed in audience. The podcast whatever. It is in my mentoring programs. Irwin's I want three things for people in this drives me. I want people to be better. I find it so easy for people just to settle and they get trapped in their routine of sameness and once they get trapped there. It's very challenging for them to be able to break free event so one of my gifts gifts is helping people understand what it means to be better second thing is. I want him to be smarter. Mondays God did not create any dumb people people but there are people who have mastered the art of playing dumb and I ask people all the time. Have you ever thought about how smart you have to be. Played dump some of the smartest people you'll ever meet in your life are people who have mashed the play in dumb and they used that to manipulate people around their lights and smarter is not being the most knowledgeable person but being able to use. Life's experiences because I think life is just a library of experiences and the more we understand these experiences and the more we can use them to help help us with where we are today that freezes from yesterday's trap because it allows us to take the lessons and apply them and the third thing I want from people. I want to be stronger. And what I mean by that. Andrew is that I want people to able to strengthen their belief their trust and their faith in their self when you have a strong foundation of belief. Trust and faith what you do is you learn to control troll doubt worry and uncertainty and those three doubt worry and uncertainty are what paralyze a lot of people. So that's that's my crusade that I live every day of my life. That's fantastic better smarter stronger and the idea eh of eliminating or at least massively reducing doubt worry worry Orrin and uncertainty and uncertainty and I mean you know when I think about the only times that I wake up in the middle of the night worried you know. It's it's worry it's doubt it's fear it's uncertainty. It's not I don't wake up in the middle of the night because I'm so happy about you. Know How that day went and so I can imagine that if we can reduce those those feelings in our lives while it would add a lot I could imagine so that is a pretty impressive crusade. And how do people will engage with you. What is the most common way that they're doing is that to your speeches? Is that through. What are the ways that people engage best with you or most commonly? Well we also do. We do a free Webinar every month that we invite people to come in just V. Part of our Webinar we average between between five and six hundred people a webinar own our Webinar each month and then we have our own podcast entitled. Let's talk human behavior. I've also written nineteen nineteen books. I've done well over two hundred. CD's MP threes. I do several conferences a year. Where we in their small groups where we limited to fifteen people to come and spend time with me on in a very intimate setting and then I have a summer conference that we limit two hundred people and then with my seminars that I do all over the world? It's a fun life of being able to use the gift that you have God's given me one gift oft is ability to take what looks confusing to people and show them the pathway to clarity if you and I- strengthen our belief our trust and our faith in ourselves we're not limited a man. I love it last question I want to ask. I mean I don't normally ask all these questions it's about the bio but this bio really piqued my interest. Because you said without having to set goals and I'm telling you Richard The people listening to this this podcast including myself are massive goal setters and we think that we can achieve success in happiness and all of that through setting goals. Well for me Andrew. What most people right is not a go? It's an hallucination. Equal right goes because they've been taught to write goats and I work with so many people who write goals in once they ride them. They're not sure what to do. Do with them so anything you write that you call a goal that you don't know how to implement into improvement not into change. I don't want anybody that I work with to change. Because change is an emotion causes the frustration with most goals. As as we set a goal out to what to change US and watch people to change. I want him to improve so when when I worked with people. We don't look goals. We look at four questions and those four questions create the process for their life life as they move forward question number one. What do you really want for your life? Not what you want for your life. That were really is a critical word. Part for me to know what I really want for my life I I have to just be honest with myself breath. Many times goals are way of playing games with yourself. You Know I. I ride a goal. I don't believe in it and so I I set myself up to frustrate and limit myself so I have to start with. What do I really want for my life? And that's where my mind mind kicks in my creative spirit and then the second question is why do I really want this. What's my purpose? What's my purpose? Had A conversation with a gym earlier today Andrew when we were talking about how lost his life in this guy cassette goals for years but his goals are based on a moment not a journey. And what I really look at what I really really want for my life. And why do I really want this. What's the purpose of me? Dedicating my life to this and then third question is huge wjr. What price willing to pay habit I believe Andrew that everything in life has a price tag to it. What you do with your life has a price tag to it and your commitment your dedication? Your determination you're disciplined is all the result of the price tag that you're willing to pay you see when most people start a new journey. This is what I've learned in working people. They don't start because they're committed they start because they're curious and curiosity is interesting because curiosity acidy is based in a world of possibilities and if you really study it possibilities can be very negative. Because possibilities disabilities are based in the moment where I'm standing in when I'm curious I generally look at something then what I do. I could've timetable to it. I'm going to be successful in X.. Amount of time and so it doesn't happen. The possibility turns to a negative and what has to happen is got to understand. The Price Tag has got to be not to focus on a possibility but to focus on the opportunity. Now the difference between the possibility and the opportunity is my belief by trust. Rushed my faith in myself. But you'll never find the possibility. I mean the opportunity if you don't slow down look at the possibility. That's the starting starting point one of the things about my career as an analyst and my life is that I'm constantly trying to explain things and and you know why is this happening in what's my conclusion and one of the things about research. Is that the majority of the time that you spend doing research. Research is a complete failure the number of times. I've followed a line of thinking thinking that this this has this I could prove of this in the financial world or something. It's a dead end and you just don't know it's a dead end until you explore that and then eventually you come across across what you know through your curiosity eventually you come across something that starts to make sense and then you start to piece it together and you know. Sometimes you're on a tight timeframe like as an analyst I used to have you know produce reports on a pretty consistent basis. So you're squeezing that you know but then sometimes you realized that it takes a lot of time to explore to find what you're looking for so it just made me think of that but I don't know if it's pertinent it or not yet is because time is the greatest gift we have and we waste a lot of time really trying to figure out if what I'm sayin Ian is what I really want. I mean a lot of people who live in their own fantasy world and the todd all the great things are going to do with their life within. They don't invest the time and time is your greatest gift why it has an expiration date to it. Why why because it's here in dentistry gone and with all we WANNA do? Is Our life. The big question is okay. Here's what I really want. This is that's why I really want it now. M I willing to pay the price to get to it. That's where most people breakdown. It's interesting these these questions that you're asking. It seems like you start to right the first question. What do I really want and then you go to the next question and you say why do I really want that and all of a sudden you think maybe I need to revis question number one or maybe you get to question number three and you say what price in my willing to pay and you think actually? I'm not really willing to pay that much for that particular. You know it's interesting that it's an iterative process. I imagine I'm curious to hear would step forward to list of three for just one second for step step three to have powered. The price tag has to be grounded. Andrew in three days my desire by determination Asian discipline those set the standard for the price. Tag that we're willing to pay. I mean what price of my willing to pay what. What's my desire? COW DETERMINE THEM I to really make this happen and do I have the discipline. Can I hold my feet to the fire when things don't happen like I want them to hack and then question number four to me is the most critical question. What behaviors will I have to change to get me there? My biggest selling book that I've ever written is entitled behavior. Never lies is and it's based on the fact that the essence of truth is not what you say. It's what you do. How many people do you know who talk a good story? But then their behavior makes it impossible. What's the saying? Your action speaks so loudly. I can't hear what you're saying. Yeah we are our behavior. The real definition of a human is not their words. It's their behavior. Now if I bring all this to appoint Andrew where I'M GONNA look. What is the biggest obstacle? We have here in coming coming from a goal to a place of honesty. What hostess from being able to do that? It's a word you mentioned a little while ago into word called fear I think the biggest enemy that most people face in their life and their success journey is fear. And I'm not sure your listeners. I've ever heard this before but all emotions travel in threes. And you're not just dealing with fear you're I mean you think about this. All doubt comes from fear worry. Uncertainty is giving fear control the when you have belief trust and faith. You're controlling fear. I want your listeners. Business to really hear this from the day that Andrew was born to the day that Andrew Dice he's GonNa fight six fears and the interesting interesting thing about Andrew. Richard here has the same six fears. And they're not in any order. 'cause they vary from person to person but one of the six is is your number one fear of you can find face and control your number one fear the other five diminish. But if if you can't find and be honest about your number one fear the other five will eat you alive. So in no order random order the six fears the fear of the unknown. Now in your world. You've had you've probably known people who the fear of unknown had them. Step away from something. That was a real opportunity because of the fact that the unknown will not allow allows to have the clarity to see beyond that fear and what other people many people don't understand the backside of what you step into the unknown you you get into the world of adventure and when you and I live in the world of adventure are mine is guiding Suomi livered the fear of the unknown our emotions our guiding us the second of the six fears the fear of abandonment. I might lose people you and I probably everybody listening at some point in our line had been a place where we were fearful of making a decision because it might cost us someone out of our life. So what do I do. I stay where I don't belong it when I stay where I don't belong. I am now paralyzed allies in. I used to work on the staff of a huge mega church in Iran. The Counseling Division for the Church and a lot what I did Andrew. I did marriage. Counseling and I watched so many couples who stayed in a relationship that was wrong for the fear of not not having anyone in their life. I watch people who stay in jobs Andrew where they don't fit they don't belong but they stayed there because they're fearful that can't find another job and I think the proof of that is just the fact that we know through surveys Immuno. Most people are actually dissatisfied with the job. Yeah could you imagine that going to work every day and not being excited about what you're doing I ask people all the time. Have you ever had a day. That was is going great until he got out a bit Utah. Yeah you are put on this earth to be happy to be fulfilled to be free breach and if I live in that. Fear of not having tracked unknown abandonment. There's number two. What is number three failure at this is huge and again what we've done? We have missed so many people up mentally and emotionally when it comes to fear because we teach you know you're either going to be successful or are you going to be again if you can accept my concept that all emotions travel in threes. There's a third word. We don't talk about that. Word is defeat and defeat is when you don't get back up Andrew. I defined failure with one word fertilizer. Tell me the growth so when I get not down. That is an opportunity to get stronger. It's an opportunity to get up smarter. It's an opportunity you to get better and so I can't see failure as something that's negative. It is positive because it's simply a lesson that I haven't learned yet are. It's an opportunity that I wasn't prepared for. It was a mistake in judgment that I make but none of those are there to defeat me. You can't run if he can't feel it's interesting because I always tell my longtime business partner partner. Sawn set a time man here in Thailand. He and I worked together for twenty years and sometimes I propose something that he's like. That's that's impossible. How can we do that? That's hard and I always. We've learned over the years. Do hard things because so few people will do them. You will stand out and when you do hard things you will fail and you know be ready for that but then get back up. Obviously we don't want to be defeated. Yeah if we fear failure we fear taking a risk and you see failure as a positive. That's why I have to come back to my foundation. Dacian of belief trust and faith in myself and that means I got to be willing to step out based on those three things fantastic. Didn't the next one is the fear of rejection and we live in a World Andrew. Where so many people? They don't like their self so they wanna be light so they become what everybody wants to be in order to be liked in reality. No one likes them. They'd be better off just being themselves. Yeah well my number one philosophy for my life is why spin mighty energy being a carbon copy. What I'm the original and my faucet goes on brought along beside that when this never keep anyone in your life who's not part of your fan club anyone who's not part of Your Fan Club is a creek and critics are people who are trying to manipulate your belief you're trusting your faith in yourself because they want you to doubt they want you to worry? They want you to feel uncertain certain fans lift Yup. Yup they're also very honest with you. All right. Number four is rejection. What is number five number five is the fear of loss back to the Price Tag Yep and then number six is the number one fear? Andrew were seeing young young people today. The fear of success Wait a minute that seems like an odd fear explain well the parents can do too much for child now in the world of counselling. I'm GonNa tell you. They can't add a dad. Ed Bring his son to me one time. The kid was ten and a half years of age and the weekly allowance. Every Monday morning in his hand was five hundred dollars cash and sounds like he had a job. Yeah no responsibility for it and by Wednesday. He's broke no drugs no alcohol what he did. He bought his friends and I asked his dad. Why are you doing this to your child? I don't want him to what I went through when I was growing up. I said I said how can he learn if he's never given the freedom to fail at so many young people today they don't understand understand success and they fear success because of what they've experienced through their childhood I mean it's lamented the millennials. Today I don't want to get married. Why what they saw their parents go through then? It won't be committed to a job for long term. What they watch? The parents become bored and angry and frustrated rush street and they feared that success because they have a very unhealthy definition of success. Success is in bobbing yourself in your world where you can improve and you and I either inprove. Are we trapped ourselves in the circle of sameness fantastic so better smarter stronger and improve ourselves. I it reminds me of a quote. I used to attribute to my mother but she she told me not. I didn't come from me but I don't know where I heard it but I just love it and I've I've said it all my life. Good better best never stopped to rest. Continue your good is better and your better is the best and the idea of iterating through. Life's just an experiment. You're testing things and you. You know. Hopefully you're creating a vision of where you WANNA go. And you're testing things to get their listeners. This is the longest bio Baiocco that we've ever had the longest discussion and I think that it's highly valuable. What Richard is share with us and I can say that the six years have come across in many of the different stories that we've heard on the podcast but I also can say that through my life? I can NC those six years popping up in different ways at different times and I can also see when I look at people around me. How how you alluded to this? Richard is the idea that our past is probably what gets US focused on one of those particular fears like. I had a friend of mine who was particularly afraid of abandonment because they had been abandoned by their parents. The result of that was that she carried that a- abandonment that fear Banham into every single relationship and one day amazingly. She became a really the aware of this fear of abandonment. And I swear I've never seen a case where she went to see a psychiatrist. Who is very very good and they they both honed in on this thing because my friend had become very aware of the pain that it was causing her and the irrationality of it at this point in her life and I want to leave that fear left her and she reshaped her life into an amazing life of much deeper for relationships? And so you know think about it this ner what is your number one. Fear the fear of the unknown dea fear of abandonment. The fear of failure the fear of rejection the fear of loss or the fear of success. I mean as we've just learned from Richard that if you can understand you can find face and control your number one fear the other fears will probably melts away. Have I summed it up pretty well. Yep the fear will never go away. This is why people sometimes struggle. I need looses. No you need to learn to control it and Andrew. If there's one more thought that I can put in here and it is probably the most challenge philosophy that I teach. You are exactly in your life where you WanNa be and people tomorrow time. No no no. This is not where I wanna be with my life and wire you. Hey there you are exactly in your life where you WanNa be in the real sad part of this is most people put others in their life to give them permission to stay where they are in. If you want to improve one of the things you got to look at is the circle of people around your life are they. Critics Knicks are are. They fans and I don't care who they are. If they're in critic they gotta go they have to go and sometimes this is a spouse sometimes. Awesome job sometimes. It's apparent it's people who say they're your friend but they're not your friend you have to surround yourself with people who who keep you on that path to improvement and to do that you have to live in a world where he open yourself to honesty. I learned in the Counseling Center. Most people want honesty as long as it's not us. Yeah and I think that when we talk about one last thing that I would add to this and then let's get into the the question of your worst. Investment is that having fans does not mean them fawning over you. What that means is sincere? Honest desire to see you better and I'm assuming that that's what you mean when you say fans I'm thinking of a friendship of mine a guy that I know and we didn't know each of the that well well but he asked me for some advice and and I looked at his business and what he was doing and we talked about it in detail and I looked at him and I said your whole all business is a fraud. You're building around a persona. That's actually not you and if if you decide to continue to do that you're going to be living in a world of fraud now. I'm not talking about fraud as in stealing but I'm talking about fraud. What as in not representing your true self so? He actually had an Avatar on his website that he kind of pretended he was that person when in fact he wasn't at all and I was very clear and direct. You know just said this is what I see and I felt like you know. It took a little risk on my side to tell him that. He laughed but about three months later he came back to me. Said you know. I've completely reshape my whole business in that. That conversation that we had was pretty much the most valuable business conversation I've ever had and now I've come out of the shadows and I now am no longer building this business around something or someone else. I'm building it around me my passions and my visions and so I think it's important that having a fan and the fan club means people that are willing to speak honestly to you. You know one of the things that you and I learned is that sometimes we're too trusting of people and that trust is based on what we hear with our ears not what we see with our eyes. The three little words have become so powerful all over the world behavior never lie. I will hear everything you say to me. But I'll steady what you do. I'll study what you do. Entrust is built on behavior Fantastic fantastic well. Thank you for sharing so much I think at the end of the podcast. We'll also hear a little bit about what you're doing next and how people can access that but now it's time to share your worst investment ever and since no one goes into the worst investment thinking it will be tell us a bit about the circumstances dances leading up to it and then tell us your story worst investment I ever was a part of was believing someone someone who told me three things about me because they wanted to control me. And I'm not gonNa tell you the Ho- story the Andrew but I'll be brief with it. I was born in New Orleans. I never knew my real dad. If you could see my birth certificate word says father. It's blink my natural. Mother was a prostitute in New Orleans and I was the result of a one night stand and she didn't want me so when I was two weeks old. I was given even into a family where I was only adopted because my dad wanted a sung adopted dad wanted the sun by Dr Want me as she proved that to me he goes from the age of six to the age of sixteen. My mother used to tell me three things. Everyday you're the stupidest kid I've ever met. You're never gonNA amount to anything in your life and I am sorry we ever adopted. You Migrate as day will be the day. When you're you're no longer in my house when I was when I was sixteen when I was fifteen adopted? Mother told me that I had to get a job and pay room and board to live in her house and when I was sixteen been sixteen for two weeks I was working at Nigeria Grocery store in Ardmore Oklahoma and I called my dad to come get me and my dad grow up front of the grocery store and stepped out of the car and I started to walk towards the guard just ended night detrimental. Wait a minute when he stepped behind the car he was carrying a suitcase and he walked over to where I was standing and he said the suitcase down beside me. I was informed that that night my mother had decided I could no longer live in her life in her house and my dad looked at me and my dad was a very great person in his own way and he told me he said son. I don't understand this but I don't know what to do. And he said you must never forget. I love you very much. I never doubted whether my dad loved me. Not But I knew my mother did not Andrew. I have three sisters none of them are Aroo. Sisters were adopted from different families. When I was growing up I never got a birthday present? Sisters did I never had a birthday cake. Think sisters did come down on Christmas morning. My sister's would be opening presents and there was nothing under the tree with my name on it. My mother made state misdemeanors in every way possible. You're not welcome in my life. My Dad didn't want back to the car. He ran back to the car and and looked over. The top KEARNS. Said you take care yourself. Any drove off loneliest. Feeling I've ever had in my life with standing on a street corner looking at a suitcase suggests you're sixteen years of age probably going on twelve and when you do. I picked up the suitcase. I walked into downtown Ardmore Oklahoma. I went into the hotel art more and checked in. They looked at me funny but I had cash to pay for the room when up to the seventh floor but the key in the the door opened the door and Andrew never turn the light on set. The suitcase down walked across the room opened the window. Look down seven floors because there's no strings on the hotel hotel are more at. I crawled out and I said on that Ledge and for three hours I tried to make the decision to you liberty. You Die as Andrew. I understand people who commit suicide. The only time a human can take their own life is when they feel. There's no value that they bring to to life into other people and I figured out on that Ledge. If I jumped my mother would win and I wasn't going to give that lady that victory in my life next next morning Gentlemen who is two children were my best friends to enjoy what had happened. He said you wait. I'll be there and for about two hours. We talked and he asked me. What are you GonNa do and I said I'm going back home so he helped me find a room with a lady who is the editor of the daily newspaper there in Ardmore Oklahoma and I paid her five five dollars a week to live in her house? Every day I go to school. I go to football tennis practice. I go to work. I come home at the clock and I'd said it her table doing and my homework until I couldn't keep my eyes open because I knew that when I went into that little dark bedroom I was gonna cry myself to sleep. One of the loneliest feelings in the world is to feel that no one shoe and we all know how important parental loveless because children who grow up with love rupp healthy. The children who grew up without love and support from parents are always going to struggle in their life. When I was a sophomore in college I made the decision? I had to confront my mom debt. Because I knew if I didn't every beyond it for years I've had this feeling inside me anything. I don't confront I validate. And that's such a powerful lesson for people to learn if I don't confront it. I validate it. It was sixty two miles from my mom and dad for my dormitory into my mom. And Dad's Front House front door. I got to their house and drove right past it. I was scared to death offender. Sixteen pass our house. I stopped at turnaround. Jump Up if you don't do this now you're never gonNA do it Art Dr Crawford in their house and my heart was not to jump out of my chest and I shot across the road. Got Out in the rain to their front door screen door wooden door and I knocked knocked on the screen door. When my dad opened the wooden door Andrew he just turned start white and I said Dan I need to talk to you and mom? My Dad didn't bother to unlock the screen door. He stepped through the screen door with one hug. Just one hook. My Dad told me everything that ahead. He had been tortured with. He literally picked me up. Carried me into the living room and the guy was just babbling. I don't remember anything he said but I remember he paused and called for my mother who is in the kitchen to come see. Who is there with? My mother walked out of the kitchen to the living room. Should take one look at me and just frozen. Retract ax took her hand restore behind her untied her apron fall to the floor to the other hand reached over and picked up her purse which always said on that one table table took out her car keys. Walked out the back door gotten her car and drove off and I never saw her again but Andrew that was the lesson it was all about her and her being able to control. When my mother died I I had to make insurance go to her funeral arguably was my dad after everybody left to go to her funeral would be hypocrisy? So I didn't go and I went to be with my dad. After everybody had left him and for the last five years of his life he was my very best friend. As long as I didn't try to talk about what happened when I was sixteen because he couldn't handle it an android their times that I've wanted to scream at my mother. Look look at me. You said that I- stupid look at blue degrees. I have you said I'm not gonNA amount anything look at me. I'm known all over the world world. I've written nineteen books. I have an impact on people. Lookit me I m lovable and so my worst investment was accepting what my mother said as truth because parents don't lie and then I realized she had an agenda and her agenda was for her to be in control of everything. And if you got to know me when people get to know me I am probably the most confident person that will ever meet I throw parties. I'm the only one I invite parties. I'm comfortable in my own skin. Yeah so let's let's now take is to lessons that you've learned thinking about you know going back into time and what you've seen over the years. How would you describe you know a few of the key lessons that you learn from that whole story number one not everyone who says they love you lunch hence what you said before for the behaviors actions okay number two the greatest strength you have is your belief your trust in your faith in yourself because that's what allows you to be the original and not a carbon copy number three? Don't be fearful of today if you live and high in yesterday. You're fearful afloat today and the interesting thing. A lot of people don't understand there is no fearing today off fears from yesterday so if I bring the fear of yesterday thirty two today I don't have today. I have this time the tick of the clock but I don't have the freedom of today. I just have an extension of yesterday take my last lesson in. This was is big for me. Stay in tune with what God wants for your life but I do with my life. Andrew is my ministry and all of us have story for every listener. You have has a story and that story we either use to justify our free US story eager to blame others are to hold ourselves accountable in tastic. Well now let me. We summarize a few of the things that I take away from your story listeners. It's fantastic first of all. I really appreciate your ability to share the pain of that one of the first things that comes to my mind and I just wrote it down. Is that your past struggles else. Shape what you share with the world and if you go back to the beginning of this conversation without knowing you before four for all the listeners you heard the shaping you know what it is that Richard teaches about better smarter stronger about facing your fears about identifying your number one fear you finding it facing it and controlling you and now when you listen to this you know truly painful story of youth what you can see that Richard has taken that and news. Is that the shape what he is sharing with the world and that is the concept of authenticity. And that's when someone is truly authentic tick to their struggles to their to the things that shape them then. I think we truly get tremendous value. The second thing I mean is there is some parallels you know I had a loving mother and father but there was a time where I was deep in in drug abuse alcohol abuse at a young age and there was a time where I had been into a rehab and a few days after the Rehab. I started using drugs again all that my parents spent my college education money. Everything gone and then four days later I was heading on the road to ruin and my mother I I think it had more vision than my dad. My Dad was probably more he was he had a hard time figuring out what to do. and My mother found a another treatment center this one in Baton Atten Rouge Louisiana and she basically the chew them talk together and they bought me a one-way ticket I was sixteen years old. They bought me a one-way ticket to Baton Rouge Louisiana from Akron Ohio and it was a ticket not on a plane. It was a ticket on a bus and my mom. I said goodbye to me in the front. I can still remember that moment in the front by the door where mom didn't have a lot to say except except the one way ticket. If you don't get it right you can. You can live the rest of your life wherever you want and my dad drove me to the bus a station and it pained him now he knew my mom was making the difference in this case is that he knew. My mom was making a tough. I love decision but it really paying my dad and luckily for for our family I went to that treatment center. You're in the day was September Fifteenth Nineteen Eighty two where I completely surrendered and realize that you know I everything I was doing with my life was getting me to disaster and that is my sobriety date of now thirty seven years and I would also highlight that when I got through treatment and went through and got on the right track I was seventeen years old getting close to eighteen and when I got out of I ended up being in a long term treatment center I came out and my mom said well when you turn eighteen. You've gotta move out and I thought wait a minute. I I've improved myself and my mom said you know we appreciate what you've done and you seem to be on the right track but we don't want to be dragged through another relapse and all that comes with it you're going to be eighteen is time for you to be on your own and so where where this story comes to what your dad arrived with that suitcase was I found a room in a boarding house in Kent Ohio near Kent State. One hundred twenty five dollars a month and basically my dad. I packed up what I had in. My Dad drove me to that room and Yeah I know my dad at the time felt like I had just got my son back. I want to spend time with him. But he knew that. My Mom's vision of what what I could achieve in my life. Also she. She knew how to push me to the limits of what I could achieve and I arrived. My Dad dropped me off. I took that box I went in. That room fell to my knees unjust sobbed and it was a Saab of there was fear that was surrender. There was so many different things but it was really that the point where I started to shape my life and that was my kind of sitting on that ledge point to say to myself. Am I gonNA make this. You know something good and look at us now. Richard Look at us now so I think that if I think about it what I take away is the the idea. Is that for the audience. I want you to think about what is the most painful thing in your life. The most senior thing that you've fear the most in your life chances are you have no way of escaping this thing it is either going to negatively in fact you affect you for the rest of your life. It's going to positively affect you for the rest of your life and your determination of which way it will go. We'll be based upon your ability to find it face it in controlling and once you face it as we heard from Richard when he faced I his mom it disappeared and many many fears disappear when you face them directly. So that's my takeaways or anything you dad to that well Andrew couple of things. I think you can boil life down to one question. Everybody tries to to me life so complex but life can be boiled down to one question before you make any decision in your life. No matter when did this take a deep breath why because it slows you down emotionally and ask yourself. This will dis-decision feed my confusion are strengthened. My clarity and anything in life can be put to that question will dis-decision feed my confusion are strengthened my clarity. That is the one question of life and enter. We're we're doing some things that we've never done before we started a series resolve small group retreats that limited to fifteen people and our next one coming up as January nine through twelve and it's a couples retreat in my theme is tweaking your relationship now. Not Counseling couples. But everything is GONNA be in. The process of improvement. Took anything to improve has to be tweet. That's not saying you'd change it. You tweak tweaking his improvement and we're going to be at the PGA resort and spa in Palm Beach Gardens. Florida January nine to twelve. It's on my website. Richard Flint Dot Com. And then. We've got another one coming up. At the the end of April first of May on decluttering your clutter. Cluttered is the number one behavioral challenge in people's life. Show me anyone who's disorganized anyone who struggles with time anyone who lacks discipline. It all comes back to the clutter in their life. Light Clutter is anything you start that you don't complete. People are held hostage by clutter and then next summer were doing for the thirtieth with year. We're doing our summer star maker conference July seventeen through nineteen again at the. PJ RESORT AND SPA and my team is. Because I can't I think we're the only one that limits ourselves and I can. I can do it and I'd like to offer your listeners. Here's a gift on my website. Richard Flint Dot Com. I do a thing called the the morning minute at every morning. I send you a sixty second video tale of one of my philosophies of life and a piece of wisdom to go with it if you go to my website and you'll look on it. There's a replacer at. I'd like to offer you the morning minute for the next twenty one days for it's a ninety nine dollar investment for the year but I'd like to give it to you for the next twenty one days ace free. Let me have this time in your life. Start Your morning with me. Just sixty seconds one minute and watch the impact can have on your life. That's a fantastic offer that's listeners. You need to rush to that now because I'll be going straight to it and the thing and I think you really capture from Richard and this whole discussion is the authenticity of where he comes from an what. He's the change that he can bring to our our lives so last question that I have for you personally. What is your number one goal for the next twelve months? My number one desire for the next twelve months not my goal is to finish the two books. I'm working on right now. My next the book is going to be entitled. So what's your excuse and then the book that my staff tells me. I cannot publish under this title that I am committed to. It's thirty. Plus Years of hotel airplane travel stories and the title of the Book Is. I'm sorry I didn't Mean To pee on you. Well we just have to wait to hear that story Santana. I appreciate this time with you. Yeah I appreciate jai to has been fantastic and I. I think I'm going to wrap it up by telling listeners that you've got another story of loss to keep you winning and the other thing I would say you know as we end Richard. I WANNA thank you for coming on the show sincerely. I know it's painful. Talking about are losers but our listeners are learning to win as a result. And of course as you know I want to congratulate you for having the bravery like our other guests to share your worst investment and your worst experience. And you've now now and previously converted that now into your best teaching moment you have any parting words for our audience. Strengthen your belief your trust in your faith in yourself and you will overcome the limits that yourself imposing yourself fantastic andrew you and I are living illustrations of what happened when we believe we trust and have faith in ourselves. We are today where we are because of that act. That's a less beautiful. I think we're GONNA leave it at that. Ladies and gentlemen go to the show notes. I'll have links to all the things that we've talked about to Richard's website Richard Flint Dot com and. Let's keep this conversation going. That's a ramp on another great story to help us create grow and most importantly protect our wealth and our life. Fellow risk takers. I'll see you on the upside.