105: Learning as You Grow with Jessica Herrin
The Oh Santa Fe it's like a rap approach. Now number wrapped to go along with the fact that we we're doing our first ever business conference. Though I'm very excited about this rise business conference it is going to change businesses. No here's the deal is going to change lives because if you are an entrepreneur if you have a side Hustle Russell if you're even dreaming about changing your life through opening a business when you get that piece when you figure that out it changes your everything changes your life changes your finances it changes your psychology and when those things get better it affects your family. It affects your relationship your community I am you can tell really passionate about up for it and I'm fired afford in part because our business was was transformed at a business conference ourselves. Well and you know it's interesting. Here's why it's powerful be truthful. How hard has the last year of your life then as you've been an entrepreneur for the first time ever it's has been the hardest year probably of my entire life and I will tell you the one thing that has made it a little less difficult is being surrounded by people who are further along their entrepreneurial journey showing me the things that they themselves made mistakes in and what they learned from those mistakes that I can stop making them yet so we're really blessed in that? We have these incredible friends and these incredible resources and they wanted to create that for you. It's basically the avengers of business coming together. Actually actually totally is some of the best at my let Dean Graciosa Brennan Bergeford. Well your girl Rachel Hala Trump Palace. I couldn't even say your last name. Chris Hogan many of the people that is his name. We're more than halfway sold through already and we want to see you there. It is imagine the the energy the joy the lessons of rise conference France but for Your Business Imagine looking at your pass your president and your future as it pertains to your company. We're GONNA talk about leadership. We're going to get granular. What do you need to be doing in marketing? What do you need to be doing? In social media. This is is not a business conference where you just hear them inspiring speeches and leave with some notes in a journal. This is a conference where we are challenging ourselves in our speakers to give you the keys to the kingdom. What are the tactical tips and tricks that we have used to take our business to the next level if you struggle with how to sell if you struggle with understanding finances if you struggle with understanding what an email drip campaign is whatever your businesses struggling with or what you may be afraid to admit that you are struggling within your business? These are the tools that we're going to give you from the foremost experts in these fields. Would you say that this is a conference. That's great for a company that makes six sixty million dollars a year and has one thousand employees. I think this is a great conference for anyone who's interested in taking their business to the next level but in particular this is a small business conference looking for you to to get to is we are a small businesses any business that is under one hundred employees regardless of revenue and so we really feel like this is clutch for those businesses who are growing and scaling or maybe just starting out for the first it's time for more information head to the Hollis Code Dot com forward slash rise business so funny funny enough. I did not plan to interview Jessica Herrin founder of Stella in Dot C._O.. OF STOLEN DOT I didn't plan on it. We actually ended up in Hawaii at the same hotel at the same same time and when we saw each other across the way you know I did what any good entrepreneur does. I asked her to sit down on the podcast where she shares her story of how she founded this massive company and guess what but it wasn't the first time she did. It was actually the second time she built a huge company. Her story is so incredible and so inspiring and if you are woman in business girl get your heart ready. This is an episode code of the ages. I'm Rachel Hollis and I've built a multimillion dollar media company with a high school diploma and the Free Information. I found on the Internet in the fifteen years that I've been building and scaling my company. I have become deeply passionate about helping other entrepreneurs to do the same so each week I'll be sharing tangible and tactical advice and inspiring interviews with the same intention bees are the tools to change your life and your business. This is the rice podcast this is we. We have to set the scene I for anybody listening because this has bananas so we both happened to be on vacation will ish you're. You're on vacation a bit but you're with your team. David I on vacation in Hawaii and LO and behold we're in the same hotel together and so we're doing an impromptu. Sit down. I love it life brought us together and the most beautiful set honestly and I have to call this vacation too because I get to pinch me that this can be right under the bucket of your Dream Levin absolutely so for listeners like tell whole who you are. What's your story? Give us give us a dish. I am Jessica Herein mom working. I've got two beautiful girls. I am the founder and C._E._O.. Of the Stehlin family of brands which I think of as being a crusader and a warrior warrior for flexible work for women's they can live happy fun passions and just be in the world and I am a serial entrepreneur author of the Book Find Your extraordinary and a podcast host for self made aide so of all those many things I am just a a woman trying to figure out yeah. Tell me about actually don't know the origin story of Sellin dot I mean I've been a fan for the longest time I've had some you yeah. I don't know the names of things I actually have quite a bit of your all. You have the aesthetic that I'm into. I love gold. I love <hes> not too Fussy and I love like statement piece and you sort of you. Cover me both ways okay so is thanks yeah partner Harris and her design team. Take no credit for the part where we have to take all the credit. How did it start like where did this come from you know for me the manifestation of being in what I think think of Moore's <hes> movement and emission than a business with came from every mistake I previously made which was I grew up with this sense of almost like from a desire wanting to be secure because I really fascinating childhood of just trying to be in a financial place of security and so I wanted to be an entrepreneur and I went and I just worked hard in school and I started a company in technology and I did all the things that you're supposed to do check the boxes to be successful and and I became an entrepreneur really young? I co-founded e commerce business that became wedding channel DOT COM. Oh Wow out of college. I feel so fortunate. I was on Oprah the twenty four being a young entrepreneur and at the same time I kind n._F._l.. Like this looks good on T._v.. But in life it's a nightmare like do is my business runs me. I don't run ED. I please all the people all the time except that over. Here's a shell of her son who works all the time. We were <hes> husband. I'm looking at him. I you know we wanted to start. A family wants to get married. That's when we were GONNA move to Austin. I thought to myself. How on Earth am I going to change? My narrative to say success is happiness not my profile on linked. Within or what press she get or what other people think. You're doing but like I actually happy. I wanted to be a mom more than anything yeah. How am I going to balance those two things because when women asked me for advice I'd be like whatever you do? Don't do this. Whatever you do don't do would I do it? Yeah like wait a minute. I have to come up with a better answer for myself. I have to come up with a better answer that I think other women want which is yeah. I want to work but I want to do it. Flexibly I want to be able to balance priorities and I looked around at the options became obsessed with this concept. Okay Love Entrepreneurship Love The Passion Love the upside but how do I not be just beholden mole the time and I wanted to do it differently and I just became obsessed with it and I started saying. How do you reinvent work for women that takes out all the risks uh-huh I have to have all the money have to have all the time I have to have all the skills and make a platform where more women would take the leap into starting a business and from you so deeply personal because I grew up raised by single dad so so my mom had a lot of mental illness a lot of decisions and our live pregnant as a team all these things because she was didn't feel like she could support herself or wasn't able to do that and it just has such an ripple effect and I just want more women to feel financially I very strong and so so just became my mission like i WanNa do this but I want to do it differently? I want to do it on my own terms I want to be able to I started at pregnant on my living room. I want to seem crazy yeah to do what I was doing yeah but I wanted to reinvent a platform for women to have choice and that was my biggest when applied to date we paid out over five hundred million commissions. That's anatomy is not the big number yeah individual stories that people made possible yeah they did it. They are able to work at around what I love so much. I have the opportunity I would say like ninety percent one of the stages. I speak on our excels. M._l._M.'s and what I love so much is that most of those stories are not people who want to own their own jet. They're not trying to be a millionaire there trying to help their families. The audacious dream in their life is to be able to come to Hawaii on summer vacation with their kids. It's a way to help their families and help themselves but it's taking ownership of that instead of maybe my partner will do this or it no so this is a goal that I have for myself. I'M GONNA work toward it and I love the community that's found in in these kind of these kind of businesses. How in the world did you even start at? Though did you have experience in this kind of thing or you. Were just like noisy yeah yeah. I have to say I love the message you give because I think you not only tell people what they need to hear but you tell to them in a way that they can here and so I love that thank you thank you for being you yeah and I so when I started this for spa and the other thing about like the whole people want jets the one of the things I thought I was going to get into this business. I was like Oh my gosh. This is I had all these impressions like this is a get rich. Quick scheme like this is all like a pyramid scheme. There's Mali things broken industry and I thought Oh my God. I can't get anywhere near this yeah and then oh I thought wait a minute. That's not the reason why I shouldn't do it. That's the reason why I have to do it because I don't want to make this. A ticket to fantasy island have a legit conversation. This is what it takes to start a business. You gotTa Have Hustle. You got to invest in yourself. You've got to be F._A.. You to do these things yeah. You deserve to have time for yourself like don't feel guilty yeah and I didn't. I wanted it to be really different and I knew nothing about what I was doing and I think that is the comical part which I want everyone to know every hustler out there that wants to go do something you don't know things and thus you get started got started you make a zillion mistakes and the only reason you do it right because you've figured out the thirteen ways. It's not gonNA work so I was clueless. I'd never done anything in this this business of like homebase sales. I wanted to radically modernize it but I had been an entrepreneur before so I did have the benefit of being super naive and that is I think the best lesson I ever learned in my first go round on a business of don't ever lose that sense of optimism that sense of like forget what everybody is telling you that because the odds and obstacles and probabilities are not more relevant than and your passion your purpose and your potential so you need to just ignore the fact that there's going to be all these naysayers being like what on earth are you doing in this industry. I have no idea what you're doing. Well can read yeah. I can Hustle Ryan the dust myself asset backed up and try again yeah. I remembered moments where I remember. Do you remember when I called you. From this convention. I went to try to learn about it. I am pregnant and feeling totally sick and somehow it's like ten o'clock in the morning and the elderly Israeli man who was clearly intoxicated hitting on Mike. I'm sorry do not see why am I in this bizarro world. What am I doing? I WANNA quit. I WANNA go home. There's a zillion times that I wanted to quit and go home and I just it was the mission that got me through yeah and what I find the press a learning and businesses like kissing a lot yeah and just ask everybody yeah and you figure it out. That is the definition of entrepreneurship figure it out Yep <hes> I love the the shirt y'all have the self major which you just talked about the podcast but I loved that one actually went on and bought like I was like thank you because you guys send me little stuff but that was like I'm GonNa go. Grab the shirt for myself because I love that idea that there's always a team like I want to acknowledge that because because I mean there's there's a week so it's not that you by yourself made it alone but it does take you as a leader to have that drive to have that fire in your belly. You stand back up and to keep going when you don't know what you're doing but so what year what year did it start. What did you start doing well? That is a great question and so I would say I was pregnant with my first daughter. She's fifteen now okay but I think this is the beautiful thing right. Every overnight. Success story takes seven to of course and percolates for years and then it comes to be when other people the Weiner business so I was doing it on my living room then I partnered with life Harris and she really helped we renamed it after our grandmothers dot and and too so that was two thousand and four or no that was two thousand and seven Eboni started in two thousand and four and a lot of people think about what why did it take those early years and whenever I go to business school which is comical. I really believe the best schools the school hard knocks and your best mentor is a customer yeah but when I go to this school and it's so funny because people are thinking about business in theory yeah did you have access to capital or was it has breastfeeding and that is what was shaping my business. My priority was like mom I and then I'm going to do this and yeah you know what would it be with my husband and so those are all the reasons why it took that early period when do doesn't idea start in theory we've been really at it and two thousand seven okay wow and how how was it. I'm I need the salesforce. I I need the product. I I need the like. Where do you even start? I was so committed to walking a million miles and being my own venture capitalist because the first time around I went out I raised venture capital. I mean we you were in the DOT com heyday. I think our business collectively raised one hundred twenty million dollars venture firms we had this. We just ridiculous because you know what when you have a lot of money. Don't think that starting a business like you need money in order to make it work. Honestly you can just make big glossy mistakes. Yeah <music> says scares me is the mother of invention. I was like I don't want that because you're beholden to all these people with all these different expectations and it's not about the mission. I was like you know what I'm going to bootstrap this. I'M GONNA be out of my. I did not take a paycheck for six years yeah ah painful and and but I did it because I wanted to walk the mile of what I wanted to create so I did my living room. I made the jury I went and did sales in homes so that I can learn everything so that I could interest rate from knowing. Is it working. Isn't it working. I still do that today. Is it not working always curious. I'm always questioning because it's businesses not static. Yeah have to change every day to be relevant so I did that by just doing it figuring out and every time it failed I thought to myself Oh. I'm so grateful I got to learn for free yeah. I'll be back tomorrow and iterating until bit by bit and to me the mission was the driver not the product so I wanted product. Of course I think about this business. This is my first visit with my head this one I started with heart and had which is mission I but then of course the head's GonNa come into place which is a large market. How can we deliver something better for the consumer idea not and will not ever just market? Look at product and say get this yeah. I want it to like. legit be better yeah. If you have a great business you're going to have the track customers but you're GonNa get a repeat and referral because what you're delivering is worth it yeah and so that the hard part of like really making sure I felt that way. Yes it was slow in the beginning we just built it under those guiding principles better product Yeah Tech Innovation Toro Integrity Social Responsibility and community yeah and people I yeah and when you so did you you sell your selling on like an e commerce platform before or you started initially with no we need sales people and that's that's where our mission was. How do you get sales people to have a higher dollars per hour because they have a multichannel smart business ask? I don't believe that any business can exist in one realm. You GotTa go where the customer wants to go and so how can you serve the customer base and how does she want to shop and then how do you make it super easy and super power the people yeah toad in order to deliver that way today we have like mind blowing amazing apps where you can create a sal board and text it and somebody can get it on their phone and check out so to me. It's always been about the integration of the two SPANTA grading amazing product with a great so the person can do their business whatever way they want to and we give them the product of the tools and the rewards to make that possible so they've always been integrated but yes it was all about empowering. I just want women to have a platform whether they do it a literal lot that they're made happier and that they they learn on their own terms because I think the professional development is really important to me to don't want them to have a paycheck. I want them to grow in a way. That's GONNA fill over to their family. They're going to be a role model. I want them to get rid of guilt. I want them to rise. I want I I am happy when people they may do this for a little bit but if they leave better off than they've arrived we've done our job and I just realized to be launched into this because it's always hang out with another entrepreneur. If someone doesn't know what stolen is family family of brands dot which is fashion accessories and apparel and then keep collective which is charm based jewelry and ever skin-care which is a clinical and clean but effective beauty line guys who were a platform where people can launched their own business and earn flexible and the thing is we did these different brands so that no matter what you're passionate as you can have the dental a paycheck and it's authentic. Do you ever have a ton of doctors because it's a clinical product that really works and then amazing they do that. If you're into fashion. Can you do sell 'em dot if you're into meaning and storytelling. It's keep collective. It's a business platform. I should include men because there are a few good men yeah obviously majority as women. Oh life is too short to hate your job seriously if you are getting pumped up and motivated by the things I am saying it all feels sort of obsolete. If you wake up every Monday morning and dread the fact that you have to go to work so so maybe it's time for a change and if you are looking for a new GIG you need to go over and put all of your info and your resume and your head shot. Do they take headshots. I don't know put it there anyway on. Ziprecruiter Ziprecruiter is the best this place to find a job or find employees. Which is why you want to be there? ziprecruiter is so effective that four out of five employees who post on Ziprecruiter get a quality candidate through the site within the first day which means the best employers are looking on Ziprecruiter so the best employees need to be posting all of their info there so whether you are looking for a job or looking for a great employee right now my listeners can try ziprecruiter for free at this exclusive web address. S. ZIPRECRUITER DOT com slash Hollis. That's ZIPRECRUITER DOT COM slash H. O. L. L. I. S. ziprecruiter dot com slash Hollis and how big is your core staff now like Home Office. How big is that well? We have four hundred people at Home Office but we have over forty thousand independent business owners <hes> in in in our global business so it's been such a journey and honestly I think about that and I wanNA teach myself because I imagine being in my living room. Thinking I was insane. It was gonna work no sense no reason why this should yeah and so now I think back and I'm like wow that's also it is so exciting to think about it and when you you're starting out and you start to build and scale how important were like the people that you surround yourself with those key hires like when you re yeah. It's everything everything yeah yeah but you know sometimes I want to caveat that because it sounds grandiose and obvious oh you should go get the best partners. You've got to hire the best people and you're like well. What if I don't have any money and I can't reality is you people are everything yeah because people solve problems up and people help if you do something and you can't turn to somebody you love next to you and like high five like what's the point yeah you're not making an impact on another person like very lonely yeah hard to be an entrepreneur so many emotional ups and downs yeah? People are just everything yeah. You don't grow a business you go people you throw yourself and they grow business yeah so I'd say they're everything but that said I mean I just getting it right with partnerships. That is an evolution honestly we we. I have been through so much of like having every comedy of a good match a bad match you know all this kind of add up and you just work through it over time so if you're there in a place where like oh my gosh I'm alone. I'm not just keep going over time yeah <hes> and so those those early years for you as you're managing being a mom and you have young children and you're trying to grow and scale this do do y'all work together. I didn't even ask that question so I love that you indeed work together and yes we did in the beginning and let me tell you how that went in our living room. I make jewelry and Mike Honey. I need your help Yeah and within like twenty minutes remember you were cutting wire because we were beating. I was like an assembly line going in my small production facility in our living room that had no furniture and we we were in about twenty minutes in Chad starts going strike strike strike. He goes on strike and he wants a snack and I'm like okay. This is the end of us working they love you. We've been married for twenty years but that was the end of working together. I mean the end. You're always work with your spouse support yeah whether they're actually doing your business with you and we went through hard times zags working out because he knew he married an entrepreneur. I was doing my first business when we got married but yeah after we had kids we had these traditional backgrounds like just emotionally where yeah he we're both like okay. Who's home with the kids not was hard that was a struggle US figuring out how to be partners and persevering through that and so it was really hard is eight your biggest hurdle for me? It was not competition us not production. It was my mom guilt was navigating marriage partnership of two two people working and not going to lie like that is not easy and is why I want to like be vulnerable share that message with women like okay. Here's every mistake we made yeah here is where that can really suck and I wish I could go back to myself because I did so many stupid things on that front yeah. I thought that I could not be a good mom and a great entrepreneur. I was so conflicted all the time. I felt guilty all the time in France and Val. I'm like why. Why did I do that to myself? Why did I beat myself up? Yeah so silly yeah and so. Will you share some of the things that you did that. You feel like we're mistakes. You wish you hadn't may yes when I almost died alone on. I could do it all on yes. I thought okay. I'm I'm the woman it is my the job and like obviously if you're going to get pregnant if you were going to nurse or you it's like you have to be disproportionately like there's no sharing equally average right and then even if you get a newborn and you just our society society you still have this pressure. I feel like my neighbors are judging everyone's down. I'm a bad mom if I'm not doing I felt that yeah so I would basically try to be the supermom and 'cause I gotTA. I gotTA prove to everybody that I can do it. All and these children are not suffering in any way just because I'm a working mom twice as good extra big organic blended all. I'm not going to buy that would be no. I'm going to get up at three A._M.. Yep Blend that's. They're gonNA take you to swim through your birthday party and we're GONNA have amazing. Stop looks like pinchers through yeah and I- meanwhile I am by depleting my ass. I'm exhausted Owen. When my husband gets home maybe like greeting him at the yeah look and Hugh Yeah Yeah and we had our first baby and you know what I kinda like? Keep it together yeah with like no sleep and I thought that that was like Oh so great and I'm like winning because I'm suffering yes. That's the model of success but I literally thought that like Oh. I'm tap and therefore I must be yeah and then we had our second kid and that is when I was like oh my gosh guys so I sat down with Chad after having a mental breakdown level of services being downgraded yeah. Here's what's happening. Yeah good this new great yeah no more Clean House no more organic that well okay organic food but not that I made it was frozen and not as okay. I'm trejos yeah like we can microwave this. Yeah and I just had to be like Whoa we we honestly went to one session into marriage counseling like we needed this yeah yeah and after a very hard like realization they're like you need to renegotiate your contract like here's the contract you will have her a lot and she does everything basically the deal. You've stopped yeah. I'm like Oh my gosh yeah. This is a really bad deal. Yeah why do I I mean I was like Whoa you're right yeah so obvious when someone else tells you but we were living that we did not see it and I was miserable. Yeah and I just think oh my gosh. Why am I asking for help I do? I think that's weakness yeah totally guilty well and I also think this especially as entrepreneurs or even people who are listening who are working their way up in a career is there are people bowl that you admire who who have gone further than you who've gone before. You and I like to remind myself like Richard. Branson is not running it all by himself like he has hundreds if not thousands of employees who are helping keep this thing afloat these entrepreneurs that you admire. They have so much help. So why do you think like you Rachel. Why do you think that you're going to be the one that magically does it all by yourself has four Kim and yeah and society we let society yeah make us feel bad because I feel like we're being judged and therefore we are suffering people's opinion yes why and by the way Richard Branson I love him? Yes and he also sleeps tonight and he has fun feel guilty about he goes on trips. He does whereas whereas we're like. Oh No yeah so I do think that's a little talk with ourselves. I tried it sure that because I want one we changed yeah yeah and so I tried to do that and then I finally was like what is long as the core for is happy. <hes> I came if it please the other people yeah. Why do I have this woman? I'm ever going to see again. Hi My list of trying to yeah well. I always think mom Gil has a lot more to do with like it's not about how we think we're doing. It's how we think other people think we're doing. What are the other moms at school? What is my mother-in-law? What are my house my sister-in-law judging how I'm doing this because my life looks different than hers and when you let go of that pressure it's the most freeing thing in the world and I also think I don't know about you but it's when my business business started to explode was when I finally like Lee took off that weight off like stop trying to roll that boulder up the hill when I was just like no this is who I am? These are my values. This is what I'm going to focus on and anybody else's opinion of this doesn't matter because you're not in this with me and you're a great mother. Yeah there'd be nobody suffering yes. The lovely hat is just like it is like everybody feels like my religion is fantastic for us. Yes and I also think we you need. There's two important things that I want MOMS to give up the guilt and really think about this one. If you think about genders in the world you want them to look and say I can do. I can make my own choice. I would be so happy if my children were happy and contributed to the world they were good human yeah if they were gracious and they were kind contribute and whether they are working fulltime in the home because nobody doesn't work you are working without pay without vacation. You are working yeah so if you were if that is your choice and you're contributing to your community and you have that luxury yeah privilege to make that choice amen and thank you yeah and if you are going to go pay your tax dollars and could you be just amen thank you and I'm so grateful that you are putting out these different beautiful models of success to show both boys and girls the this is contribution Yes yes and how tragic would it be. If we were all these robots that made the same choices not how life works there's diversity and it's beautiful and no matter your gender you can make different choices and that is what makes society together yes and so I am glad that my children have different role models just as gladys. I'm going to have to be working. They have meant staying home. They have other moms doing different things. They have people leading social causes then all these things are beautiful fabric society and so that is point number one I need different role models and all genders and then another thing is I am obsessed. I think I come from a family that really struggled with mental health and the rates of anxiety and depression that are growing with our children is something we need to be like a red alarm fire. People yeah like there are things in the world. We need to be like hold on yeah. This is why okaying of success if I die and my children are happy and good humans that I've done my job Yeah I've had love and my lion have made an I'm successful if but I think that we need to be really concerned that this model of super parenting MHM helicopter parenting of snow parenting US feeling guilty I need to like be at every event is good for them. Yeah they're going off and they have higher rates of anxiety and depression and lack of coping skills because we've been trying yes to pl- to manage it all for them. It's not even working. It's not working out for adults or kids. Can we just back up everyone. Let's lower the bar yeah get strong from struggle because that is the the only thing that's what I know is entrepreneur. Yeah honestly think the reason I have been able to create success is on some measure and it's still struggle every day. It's a process where all works in progress is strong from struggle early. I learned how to have like hard things happen. I'm still alive. Yeah and I think that I had a singled out that worked all the time I had no role model of perfection parenting <hes> that men are strong. Here's my hero yeah. He's the greatest human yeah along with my husband until my by Asus yes but we get to think that we all get on that front but I just you know and I think that more people need to realize you're enough yeah. If you're loving and you have intention there is no perfection that's coming. Your way is just getting getting a little bit better every day trying to make the world a better place well. It's also important. It's an important reminder. It is a privilege to have mommy gilts. Oh my gosh appropriate like if you go. I had the opportunity several years ago to go to Ethiopia. If you you go talk to a mom in Ethiopia she can't even comprehend what Mommy guilt is like. We wait by the percentage right. Yes like women in your country have guilt because they have jobs which is like are the greatest thing she could hope for is to have a job to be able to support her family. We women in your country have that and they feel guilty about it like this is a privilege we need to flip. The perception of one hundred percent like this is how how what a blessing for for you that you have a job that help support your family that helps pay rent that puts food on the table and they're gonNA be okay. They're going to be okay. Everyone take a breath. I guess what what I'm confused about to his most of the women that I know mccarey guilt about. This didn't have moms who stay like their parents worked. You're okay you know like if you were up when I grew up like they throw us in the back of a station wagon they were not garland knows the snow carseats like we're for all okay and honestly that is where did it how did it. I don't know it's crazy place. I couldn't agree with you more. I think expos is such a first world problem yeah to feel guilty about these choices yes that we are so privileged yeah half the amount aww privileges off the charts and we to this experience where we're building a school in Nicaragua and you look around there construct of a family first of all all the men are working to get a job Costa Rica Yeah. The family unit is moms with kids everywhere. The community is raising the expectation. Yes isolated doing this and they're laughing and they're happy and they don't have material things and they're and yet they're happy that experienced me. I came back and my kids have heard the story zillion times right they they always rice and beans every meal that is sesame and the whole excitement of the whole week was that somewhere in the village there was an egg it never we never saw the egg. The Egg was not real did not materialize but the hallway all of our like backed up <unk> systems. All the Americans doesn't Hague and we go home. There's no open my fridge and what's their dozen eggs doesn't everyday there's eggs in that fridge and so when my hi kids complain about anything we have a okay we have eggs and you have to have this perspective of like you know when I apologize for working who do what do you think this baseball this. What if your kids are crying when you go out that door but like you're welcome? Welcome welcome yeah well the thing that we work really hard to do. I mean I think when you're an entrepreneur. It's an even it's an even greater strain. It could be a greater strain on the family then when you are working you know for someone else and when we get grief when the kids say at there were like and you know how you're going to summer camp <hes> you know yeah whose pay and not in a not in like antagonistic way but really making making sure that they understand what the payoff is so like when we moved we moved to Texas last year. They wanted to go to summer camp summer. Camp in Texas is very expensive to go to sleep away camp and I remember it was when I was I really starting to travel a tend to speak nick and my middle son the Middle Child Oh to the degree was like you know all your and I said yeah and I will have to travel to speak six times in order to pay for you to go to this summer camp. Do understand what that's what Mommy's doing like. We work extra hard so that you can have certain things that other people don't get to have or even when we go on a family vacation explaining to them. Hey guys while we're here and we're having this much fun. I just want you to remember when mom had to go do this or when dad had to write that book that was because we were going to have an experience like this like bringing them along on the journey so they understand the why I'm not believe me. I'm not like rolling out of the House to go work because I don't want to hang out with you. I'm doing it because yeah like this is what we're building and they need to understand what what is involved in it and I think even if what you're doing is not to pay for the luxury vacation. Maybe what you're doing is just to make rant. It's even more powerful like takes for you and as a child who grew up in a home with parents who never were were having a lot of money who really struggled financially who fought all the time because they couldn't afford like I am so driven by the fact that my children will never worry about the fact that there's no food in the fridge but the fact that there are no ex- because that was my reality a lot of times and so everybody has choices that we make it goes back to what you said like. What are what are the values of your family? They might be the values of mine but that's the power in knowing what matters to you guys is that you can go all in on what matters to you and let the rest fall away. 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Fifteen percent off on your first order go to third love DOT COM com slash rise to find your perfect fitting Bra and get fifteen percent off your whole purchase. That's third love DOT COM slash R. I S E for fifteen percent off today. If you're living your life in accordance with your priorities and values yeah you're doing the right thing and I think is an exciting time because women can make bigger choices today than the ass where you can Dan. You can't have it all but you can't have what matters most and I think what you're doing and I see you doing it working out of your home. Is it really is you can work very intensely but you can still be there absolutely be around them. I love this journey the most because I've gotten to do with my family yeah and honestly mostly just we we joke because now our kids officially just turned teens yeah. It's so sad how fast I'm like a stalker mom now. I've been bear you yeah with them. Yeah and I go and we parallel play yeah and I just sit next to sit here often on a timer. The beautiful thing is like I can work side by side and just the togetherness it fills my heart with totally and I love women being brave enough to question. Can I redefined my life. How do I be this brave entrepreneur? <hes> how do I question. Do I want to do this for myself to him. Wonders that because you can be there for the moment and have your own thing and not feel bad about it but still show up yeah in a way that's important. I think that is more possible than ever before one hundred under percent yeah so as you look forward to the next decade of your life or the business where where are you headed. I love being at the stage. I am in life right now. Which is I've changed just using the word wiser because I really do live in the moment and when I think about ten years I wanna make impact I want? There's so many things like all the things on my business. I'm going to innovate. I really believe we're just getting started heard it. I really do the team that we have on a business perspective. Oh my gosh I'm so more fired up and excited than ever but I want to measure my life in the minutes of love. I want to think about the trip the R._V. Trip. We're taking Alaska's a family. I want to think about every family tradition we create because my kids are gonNA move out. I just WanNa live my life. I'm GonNa live with love. I WanNa be kind and happy. I want to stay healthy. When I meditate? I want to just be grateful to be alive. Every single day. Yeah and you know I love that good intention. I think you said something earlier that that made me think about this. It's something that I've been walking through a lot in the last. Let's say nine months because the business has exploded in a way that was never yeah right amazing rat but also it is. I don't know if you've ever had a moment in your career where you've had massive success with the business yes at the cost of your life. Well call me. We just coming out the other side of her gain. Yeah I'm coming out the other side of it. I really I would say at the end of twenty eighteen was one of the lowest points in my life and was at that point the highest success I had ever had and do you know how many people say yeah. You'll hear now yeah all these I feel so so lucky to be in this group yeah that where you have peers that are running these giant company yeah and if you knew the truth and I want everyone to know that you knew the truth is struggle and pain that is behind that mask it is normal normal yup and the reality is self worth <hes> it has to become more important not less so up here more importantly boundaries yet more importantly yes because otherwise what was the point that and that Jack chief this that is exactly what it is is this is I think that the ultimate failure is having the success and not enjoying it at all and not and not only that but just like you're you're on and then told Dave when I was walking this like. I feel like all I am is on and then resting so that it can be on again and you're just like keep feeding the machine keepdriving the thing and it feels like a sometimes you're like on a train a runaway train and you can't once it picks up its own momentum now. You're we're just going and it takes actively like fighting against what everybody else thinks. You should be doing in your life because the second I feel like you start to have real success as an entrepreneur. Everybody wants it right. Everyone wants apiece. Everyone wants a piece and all the sudden. You're getting opportunities that you're you can't even believe we coming your way. I think you can't say no to them and you got hanged right. Yes and that is just really getting crazy about nope we. We won't like we we didn't know that going in and we said yes to everything so right. Now we are playing at the end of like for the rest of Twenty nineteen. I am playing out the end of every yes that probably I believe should have been a no well. I'm so proud of you for realizing that now here's the big risks and what I did wrong. These are missing yeah. What I realized was the same problem on repeat right like I look successful on the outside and yet here I am this husk of a he s and who's getting the brunt of that yeah my family yeah because I would travel so much because I wanted to please the people and I wanted to be everywhere at all do everything and then I'd come home yeah and it was like the mayor put it sucks that yes a life out of me out and then had live it like that is exactly that is exactly right? I would lay like I didn't. I wanted to be the kids but I didn't even have the energy to be with them so I would literally lay next to them like hey guys. Let's watch a movie and I would like lay them on my Jalen rule for like two like a two days. I got Saturday and Sunday Okay and then Monday morning like I'm back again and it it's it's. I feel like if I was hearing someone say this five years ago. I'd be like Oh you're not. You're not grateful. You don't appreciate what you it's one of those things like unless you've been in it you can't. It's a marathon not a sprint. Yeah are a mere mortal yes yeah. Have you seen the movie Princess Brian of course yeah I would always joke with my kids. I like I'm I'm like I need a miracle Max. I'm not I'm not mostly. That's mostly just mostly dead and I might wave to stop living my life mostly. That's so real yeah until I'm like wait a minute. I'm GonNa put me yeah. I'm GONNA put me by being saying no and actually learn this lesson before. So why am I learning it again and I did this with channel my first business okay so I was single well. We got married in the middle. I didn't have kids and so you know what I thought. I thought oh I'm going to do all the things because I can. I thought being successful would be giving all my time and that's how it would please my my investors that I would show the world that was entrepreneur and I think the huge chip on my shoulder was young female who wanted to take one for the team of them are good enough that I can do it. Don't do discount me and so I had this thought that I had to do that every night and every week and so that made me do is my time is infinite because I'll do everything for this business yeah then when I was oh I did not need to prioritize because we'll just get to that later at midnight yeah then when I had kids and I had to get home because I had to be there to get the kids at five o'clock I was like okay. I'm going to drop balls. I'm not going to do everything so let me figure out which ones are mission critical and which ones are going to matter a year from now three years from what are the big picture and it made me get strategic and the more you get to have infinite options. If you're creative ambitious person and you are mobile maker Yep GonNa die with things to do exactly right away have more things that are that are going to be action absolute. All you do is get fierce about being strategic and thoughtful all right witcher the glass balls on. I'm not going to drop and the rubber bounce which the things that really matter and if you don't think those are just a few things and you're not prioritizing. You're going to be stressed so it to me. That's when I got fierce about my time fierce about big gas and yeah yeah so I will say just for our listeners who have seen this manifest like in social but the two things that I went so hardcore on once we hit the new year that have made such a difference in my life is I am insane about my health like insane like I think it's probably not the Nice Nice I work out every single day of my life. I'm so intentional with what I eat. I'm so intentional with my sleep how much water and it's why I beat this drum every day. It's not because I'm like a fitness. Whatever it is because that has made the most massive difference in my life? Dave right is because I'm starting every single day that to me is self care like I'm taking care of my body so that my body can perform at the level I need it to and then I just say no to everything. Everything does a great quote and I don't remember who says it but it's the difference difference between successful people and really release accessible. People is really really successful. People say no to almost everything it's berkshire-hathaway. It's that Guy Warren Buffett six ss most about what you don't do what you do and just saying no to it all and we will get through the end of nineteen. I'm finishing up. I have thirteen more keynotes for the year. I've I've given more speeches in the last year than anyone you've ever met in. Your Life will now fourteen so you tomorrow I no and it it is such a gift but this is i. I have said no to every I will. I don't speak on anyone else's stage after twenty nineteen. That's my commitment to myself and my family so we will we do our own conferences and if people wanna hear me speak week though constraining that's right but I won't I just can't my mentor always says h what's good for you is good for them. Meaning the community it what's good for you. It fills you up gives you energy and allows you to serve at a higher level to those people all to your team to to your employees and in a way that you can't if you're totally depleted and your pudding that beautiful parameter on loving your life and recognizing that you need to be successful for you is going to elevate your impact yeah because you were then going to go create something so magical and beautiful even beyond what you've already done your greatness ahead of you I refer to you as like the world's new Oprah. Oh I do when you are in that moment and you're hugging someone that shaking that impact to women it's reverberating throughout the world I know ahead for you is going to be scaling this and what the world needs you to do is stay healthy and whole yeah because that's that's the message yeah love. It and I went through the same process of saying. It's got to be scalable and that's what the podcast is about. That's what reaching more people in a powerful way is about doing yeah and I love that you're doing that so proud of you thank you Oh if if people are listening and they want to know more because they do if I am not really I'm not saying this. I'm not you don't pay me. This is not an ad. I always say not an accident. You know I really do where so much of your drills that I by myself just because I've always loved the brand around so and I know you have other things that they can go check out but if they're like I actually have not heard of this before. I WanNa go see what you guys have or I'm really interested in being an entrepreneur and checking out with this means. Where do they go to find out more information so you can go to WHO Jessica Herrin Dot Com and that will link you to Stella Dot Dot Com yeah ever dot com collective dot com and I wrote a book find your extraordinary and I have a podcast called self made by Jessica Herrin and I would say the product that I'm most proud of and I think you and I have in common is what I really want is confidence for women yeah? I want an endless belief in yourself belief beyond reason because you don't need to be practical when it comes to seeing what's within you yeah and that's my greatest joy is knowing the proceeds of the Book Co to financial scholarships for women because that's what somebody gave that gift to me and I just want to pay it forward and I've made so many mistakes yeah. I want you to know that there's a way there's a path and so whether it's you want to launch a business you WANNA learn more. Whether you want that community. That's where they can find it and then they find it within themselves so cool. Thank you so much for coming to hang out in my hotel room on his sleek. You Rachel has been the best girl stop. Apologizing rising is out in the world you guys I know I can't believe that any more than you can but it's true this book. Baby of mine is finally here so if you have a desire in your heart but you're worried about what other people will thank you you for trying to chase after it. This is the book for you. It is the most tangible and I hope motivational advice. I've ever written down and it's available today. Anywhere books are sold and if you like it when I talked to you just.