3260: It Started As a Joke w/ Eugene Mirman

Automatic TRANSCRIPT

welcome to Keith. And the girl. I'm Keith Malley. I'm come. The people are saying. I killed Fiona Apple on the last. I mean let me be clear. I killed it singing some of her music on the last episode. Please anyone who heard the last episode has no argument. I am now a bigger field apple fan through you. Somehow I've heard fetched the bolt cutters more than once. And if any of you ladies out there need me to explain it to you. I'm happy to you may not have understood everything. I get every single reference. Is this a free offer case? It's just it's out there. It's up to it's up to you. What a status. While it's a it seems like it's an for ladies and I want them to make sure they understood it today's guests. He's been on flight of the conchords Archer Bob's Burgers and depending on how things are going so far this supposed to be a moving next year spoiler aqua teen hunger force at the new documentary. I just saw and you'll love it. It's so good. By the way a hundred percent on rotten tomatoes. It started as a joke is the title. Our guest has been Keith. And the girl before seven years ago in two thousand thirteen the episode is called. Special Education at one thousand seven hundred forty. One Harry is your pal in mind. Eugene Merman I. That's what I'm talking about. And they go data voice actor. They knew right away so it's been seven years you. Jane. What's no mostly a guest? Pandemic things change in life I was at my high school reunion in the what's new. What's new a I can take the car out without askin. Yeah I stick it in on a couple of things or no I. I'll get to this movie of course but I mean you know in case there's not enough around that's making me cry. This one's should those essentially those throw me over the edge. Congratulations though it's it's fantastic. It's a because it's so heartbreaking and again I'll get into it but What it's also magnificent at the same time but let's Let's first let's cover The news basis and Corona Virus News. Last time we talked in New York there were thirty. Six thousand deaths by the time you hear this. They'll be over fifty thousand how you hold it up calendar. I have actually stopped reading the news on a regular basis because it really is something that I now can just see. Yes next time I look at it. They'll be more deaths. It's not really a difference. I have to stay calm so I'm just kind of Understanding that the news is what I know it will be. Do you find yourself refreshing APPs. Eugene I find myself I go to where do I go world? Oh meters dot info slash corona virus. And I just keep refreshing. Nothing is going down. Yeah right meaning people who have died or not returning not at all the number goes one way and it's up. It's yes in past pandemics. I'm people return. And that's what you would hope for It's Yeah it's terrible. Look I don't watch the news on TV. So I think that there's a certain amount of a certain amount of of horror In terms of just bombarding myself But yes I do. Tend to look at the Internet For what it's worth. I don't know what it means. But it doesn't seem good. They found that two New York state domestic cats have it so animals are getting the domestic we tigers were getting it. Then they have even more those they go. Hey let's test. The cat see what happens. They have to see. This is the kind of news that I I I. I don't know I don't even know what to do with so I I don't know how to read it and then be different. It's just continuing so it's just kind of like a waiting game of the same news. Recycling itself only somehow worse. So welcome to our comedy. Show this this is. What's odd is like this feels biblical but it's not as majestic it's not. It's magical as the Bible always suggests God's hoops in you know the idea. Is that God swoops in and saves us but really the when I think about the biblical stories God swoops in and kills us further and then hopefully we learned some sort of lesson that he's the only one but if you like in the Bible the sometimes people are just sort of Baird but I don't know that he albany's he's homage swooping there is. I mean there's some there's some you're in Massachusetts Right Cape Cod. Yes that's right. And that. Are you taking boxed Mac? Grocery store trips I am yeah. I'm taking some walks in the yard so much Sunday night. Play in our yard In swing on the swing set I saw the documentary. Someone Act like that like we're good friends house all doing. And how old is he? He's three and a half he's doing okay. You know I mean. I think that this isn't his favourite pandemic but of the People. I know he'd sort of taking a better than ready. We learn a couple of lessons from him about one day at a time. Well Yeah I mean yeah. He mostly wants to watch TV and play in so you know he has gotten that he also would like to go to places. But we can't do that. You'll periodically like. Can we go to this place in that in? Yeah again what someday? Someday we can. I don't know that will be a lot of adults that I know like. Yes we would love to sit around and play and look at the computer and Dream about going somewhere. Someday you'll see understand what it means. That outside is noth- no no he. Well gets that I mean. I think that it's a you know I it. I don't think it's that he gets it as much as like it doesn't. He's like okay like whatever. Let's just go play outside or let's watch? Tv girlfriend is trying. Cy Microphone was trying to school her Twelve year old son and he's supposed to be doing math and so she checks on it. And he's actually looking up in Google famous midgets so it's not easy for everybody. But what do you? What do you teach and a half year old? I mean you mostly occupy their time more than teach them more than time to learn about the history of Europe like it's a lot more just. Let's figure out how to get to tomorrow when you see. The streets are people social distancing. They're over here in New York. They had the double fine's from five hundred to a thousand dollars for astles that hang out together or wear a mask in a store. Sure so so here Like I'm on a sort of street with no sidewalks and nobody would be walking around in in general i. It's just. It's a much more rural area so so nether now. No one is walking near each other because that is exactly what you could do. This disobey very interesting time to get recognized on the street right at A. No if you have enough people in your area to walk around to see New People who are surprised by your face Does that happen at all? Anita I mean I haven't been going out It happens Sometimes but I think that I feel like people would would respect my no selfish and a pandemic rule who knows I don't know panoramic now I mean yeah what I stand twelve feet away from someone as they took a picture. Maybe maybe it has But I've like there's like farms that deliver click. There's a farm not far away brings like meat and stuff. And there's there's places you can order stuff from so a new of that. It's it's so weird seeing these You know certain states opening when everybody's told not yet I know states are having different Different rates of course but nobody. Nobody should be. It should be out yet. Of course Bernie didn't have a chance. People are fighting to get sick. I mean it's clearly insane to open a state like that is the strangest most foolish thing Only only if you believe in science so Right so we'll see what happens. We'll see what happens. Yeah I know trump. I mean the truth is I feel bad for people. Going to those rallies. Who for one reason or another? Believe that the like they won't be harmed. It's yeah I mean I don't know I think it said I guess we'll we'll just see what happens in the coming weeks open. Las Vegas could see of what's ridiculous. That's that's a a strangely terrible idea. Except that you know I could see Vegas having this strange notion that their air is going to be filtered out because you could smoke cigarettes in their space and it doesn't smell like it so I can see people kind of justifying the The atmosphere yeah. The casino atmosphere may be turned four of the casinos into field hospitals. It would be worth a try right right right if I when I when I think of what. Churches are right now they could each and every one of them could be hospitals because they can't be used either who wouldn't want to be in a in a pew right now hooked up to some equipment. You're at bally's hooked up to equipment and there's the ringing of the slot machines all around you. Hail being entertained. Somehow I'd rather listen to that. You know listen to my breath leave me. I was going to say that. The trump banned all immigration in the US because the pandemic so we got the wall after all one way or another is his favorite day. I don't think he knows that he did that. Because of the pandemic though it just happens to work out timing wise I got a letter from somebody that says anonymous but I I can see their name. Right on top Steve Miller so anyways from anonymous. I'm kidding Hey Keith I thought you would like these interesting inside stories of politics in the secret service that you will not ever hear about or see in the news pastor present. I feel I should remain anonymous. So don't have secret service agents showing up my door one day. I ASSUME WE'RE GONNA get an inside scoop here to definitely how anonymous works right. Have Two quick stories to tell you. What about Joe Biden? When he was vice president one about his wife. Jill I have a buddy that is in the secret service. He was on the Biden family detail. He told me these two stories. I think they're pretty funny. Bugaboo one Joe Biden was vacationing at one of the summer homes at night. When can I say already? This guy should be fired but okay go ahead the which one or is this a thin. You're sorry are you never mind? Just keep doing go ahead. Yeah it's a real thing that you or is this now. This is what you've it's a bit. I get sorry it's been seven years. He don't have. We do legit. Joe Biden was vacationing at one of the summer homes at night. When the secret service was outside of the House patrolling female agent was patrolling nearby and all of a sudden Joe Biden decides that he's going to go in the hot tub. He comes out of the house completely naked stance on his patio with his hands on his waist. Like is enjoying the view. I believe that right in front of a female agent nearby. Another agents area. My Buddy told me that Joe Biden happens to be hung like a horse. Okay but just the come out completely naked when you know secret service agents and a female agents are right there and are going to see stark naked shows that. He's a frequent Weirdo. Apparently a well hung Weirdo okay. So there's one fun fact to take to the polls with you to the next one involves my buddy directly. He was on Joe. Biden's detail Joe's with a bunch of her friends drinking champagne. Okay Jill that checks out. Joe was with her friends. My buddy was guarding the door and was just sitting inside on a chair while Joel socializing. All of a sudden joke is up to my buddy and turns her girlfriends and says hey girls check this out lifts up. Her skirt straddles my friend and pretends to do a lap. Dance on him by the way. If you pretend you're still doing it right. All of her friends whip out their phones and start taking pictures of her doing a lap. Dance over my friend. My friend was taken by surprise and just sort of froze awkwardly. He says to she says to him. Hope you don't mind this my friends who says I'd worry more about your friends taking pictures of this. She was like Oh. Don't worry about them. I trust them. Ooh Yeah I do have more insiders stories. I can share. Here's some quick things. Obama and Biden. Don't like each other at all and it was really strictly a political decision. And he's stories about them being buddies going the baseball games x etc is bullshit. Okay Interesting Clinton. Used to stand in a hallway outside the Oval Office with his pants down and his hands on the wall and wait for Monica to come out without saying a word. She bent down and give him a rim job so specific rim John. That's a blowjob rate at a job. I think that's what I thought. All these politicians who are on camera insulting each other calling each other's names and our so called enemies go behind closed doors. Laugh ABOUT DRINK MARTINIS and go to their vacation homes in the hamptons together. They're all buddies. And it's all an act and then against each other when cameras are on a total bullshit. So what did we learn? Here Biden Obama our friends. That's number one behind closed doors. They aren't friends also. They are friends. I feel like there is a lot of information. A lot of strange. I'll take that in to your Political Knowledge and see how you WanNa play all right so we saw this documentary. It's called it started as a joke. Have you seen it Eugene? Yes yes I have The Not I thought I take several months back meaning for as for the most recent time okay And the talks about your festival which you were. It was celebrating ten years. And then it smacks you right in the fucking face. Forty-five minutes in and talks about Your wife having cancer. How how long? How long did you know her? Before you got married in two thousand fifteen for nine years nine years okay in ten years. Yeah allow so. It's the real deal. Yeah when funding ago well. It was a good solid week and then You know she gets cancer and she passes away in January of this year so it hasn't even been three months and this pandemic comes at the same time. Are you holding up okay? Are you able to Now we have the technology to at least see people on the computer but are you are you. Is this the this question? Is this the worst timing I mean? I don't know if it's the worst. Timing is not great timing you know I would have I mean I don't like the pandemic I think all the things that I thought I would maybe do to try to sort of Copen Feel better are not exactly possible in the way I imagined because of the pandemic in how you can't go anywhere or see anyone What do you do to I you know I do. You love cooking writing jokes and then just spending time with my son basically to do like it's not like I'm not like building a ski resort really. Because if I did that that would probably take up about the amount of time I would have because of the pandemic back with you. You make ten the this up that when you make those cancer cards and you hear the audience by the way Cringing they don't they don't know how to react to your cancer jokes about something that you're also I dealing with and you know you're clear about it. It's not talking about cancer. Billy mixed meaning of the legacy had done maybe three or four times and so yes. Sometimes I mean I forget. Sometimes people are uncomfortable and sometimes they were. They thought it was funny. Comfortable with the sort of I mean as it was every time I did. The bit depend on a couple of years ago. I had a open heart surgery to remove a tumor for my chest and I thought the the cards were amazing. I thought they were perfect because it is weird when I started coming out after the surgery I would see people look at my scar and I would see people sort of hesitant to speak to me and I'd almost bring it up on purpose to say you can bring this up. It's a lot less awkward. If you tell me that you feel awkward than just skirting around it because it did happen and we all know it. You already know it. It's not like they're I feel like people have the feeling as if they're telling you. You had cancer I already. We already knew I mean. It's not great but we knew that is like I feel like what the reaction is. So yeah there's a lot of Like almost whispering lake. You're you're calling someone a racial slur or something like you know because you had the tour and I'm like yeah I know it's I had it and You could say the same volume because I won't get it again just because you'll call upon it. Everything's Okay how how were you emotionally? Meaning comics usually understand them to be children. Did she have to make sure you're okay? And you caught yourself like wait a minute. Are you consoling me as opposed to meet consoling you or did you know the things to do and say uh-huh? I mean I think everything you sort of learning adapt We consoled each other. You know we. I think we both tried to you know. We've both tried to do as much as we could together. Which we you know she. Depending on. She was on probably fifteen or so different treatments over the years. So there'd be long stretches of time where the treatment you know where she could go out and we could travel and do things together in there. Were Times where it was hard to leave the house so so I think one of the things was that you know when was that it was up and down. You know when we thought something was allow sometimes it would get better until of course it. Permanently got worse. Did she was? She was nervous during the movie. That your son wouldn't remember her. Does your son bring her up. Oh Yeah we talk about her. Yes he He just the other day we were driving in. He said I Miss Mama and I said I Miss Mama two. And then he said. Can we draw pictures of her and send them around the world so people will remember her and I was like. Yeah Yeah we can absolutely do. That was his pictures. Any good we thought it was more the the time he doesn't three and a half so he's like okay but now like let's run around the yard like. I'm keeping my schedule. December two weeks ago. When I said this thing it was pretty charming so I think at some point. We'll do it but Yes so we I. I wanted to make sure that he knows that it's Yet that we can talk about her in that we miss her. And you know we'll make a memory book Are actually working on something like that Has He seen? It started as a joke. No He's three and a half you'll probably I don't know when he'll see it like in years. I don't know when he learned how to take a joke I think. Yeah when he's like. I'd love to see a documentary about my parents. I don't know I don't know what age that is. I think I e s to like not be scared of like long form Improv. I saw in in the documentary. It's very sweet. How you guys interacted with each other and I think a lot of documentaries If if you are on there with your spouse or with your with your partner With cameras on you for that long. You feel where people snip at each other. And you guys had none of that. There was always consideration and Just like a a real warmth between you between you two is what I think I think does asking. Is there an extended cut cut but there is worth foot would be great if we an hour and fifteen minutes and we used all of it? We were very lucky. We were very lucky. It came out very well do you. I know him to head the cancer and Non Cancer. Only a tumor. Okay okay. I'm sorry never mind I can't okay. Let me if I can relate somehow I br break up so did you. You find that you had the console other people as opposed to dealing with what you're going through. I know I saw that and I know I did that during breakup like no. Let me deal with what I'm dealing with like now to make sure you're okay now. It's not a big deal. We'RE FINE. We have a schedule. Well I mean yeah I mean. I think that there's an amount to which you try to make people feel comfortable I don't know that it. Would you know necessarily consoling exactly but but yeah I think that You know again. It's a hard thing it's hard to. There's also there's kind of cancer that she had the first time which goes away and you think we'll come back and then there's the kind that's terminal and then that has an unknown time limit like you know. Maybe I mean she could have lived for two years. She happened to live for six. Even though five was sort of the the Max if that's that's The very difficult part is we all. Don't know but now it's we're face to that. I noticed that I would i. I like to laugh about it so I would drop the I joke and then watch the person go okay. This is all right. We get to talk about it in full volume and start joking with me this idiot. I would joke around with each other all the time. What is What chain does anything change How do I phrase this? What changes when you know. You'RE GONNA die. Does she live differently? Knowing. Hey you know this is the this is the final years. I'M GONNA I'm GonNa have cake for breakfast. Do Things Change. Does she want to keep things normal his if nothing. Sam I mean I think you're aware of it. I think it's both you don't i. Don't think start having cake for breakfast. This you you know in a sense should eat anything you want because sort of eating in sort of staying as strong as you can is important But you know we I mean I think that we just tried to. I mean we did moved to Massachusetts to be closer to family We had a son But you know I think you you just try to do what you can. You don't I don't think you start like it's not like we were like okay. Well let's like fly around the world. I think you try to live the best life. You can essentially. Are you gonNA stay there by the way are you staying in Massachusetts? Yeah I'M GONNA stay in Massachusetts. I mean I'm also the Boston area You know so. Start starting this year. I'll always started going to school when there was school thing but now that there isn't knows but yeah. I'm I'm staying in Massachusetts. I do think it's funny that now you know it. It's Kinda telling that we know that Keith. If he had cancer the first thing he would think of is yea cake for breakfast and they'd be like no you your body extra healthy and I'm like for for the next month for breakfast. They specifically were like if you want to eat like brownies. Or whatever you want like the I mean N- like like cake for breakfast might actually be fine depending on if it's more important for you to keep calories on and also when you're on different medications you just like there's certain foods like she would have sort of cravings for certain foods and not other foods so it's not like like like the once you know you're going to die. The worry stops being that like if you have sort of an unhealthy meal that'll be what gets you. Pms just between us is the worst thing that Like you can't complain about your day like you can't come home and say. Chris gathered stepped on my punchline. Twenty minutes set up. You know I do shit No she was. We could You could still you. Yes I could still complain There nobody stepped on my punch lines. Had Her not cancer at all. I can't be complaining about not getting a package on time. Kelly different apples north of my friends. I'll tell you that I'm monster. Once gifts is that I could still complain about about things. I just chose never to do it. Well it's in. It's in my contract with Keith. That he's allowed to complain when people step on his punchline so that's usually the after show have generate on the radio. You can step punchline in standup. No-one can step on your punch lines. That's what that's what made you even angrier. That's why I was like it's a black thing. Now I realize because you're just thinking radio are you. Are You bummed out that? There's no sports. No doubt that I can't go anywhere or the friends but I don't I mean I don't really follow sports. I'd rather there were sports because I think people would like it but not in the pandemic. I mean mostly. I'm bummed out that there is like a real failure on the part of a federal response But I'm listening to like the Massachusetts governor give updates. You're like Oh that's what like update would be like when someone tells you what's happening in what they're doing and how they're trying to make it better. That's that's how we feel about our our governor Governor Cuomo we feel like is is giving us good updates. This is what I need. This is what I can get. This is what I'm asking for Felt Good Yeah. Yes that feels so. They're they're feels like there's like a semblance of how we might come out of this. It's amazing how did know to test our governors at you know at the time like handsome amass and go quick. Put It on and you see if they can put it on. I feel that would be. I'd be more like quick. Can you organize quick testing sites in kidding nippy stars like I feel like somebody could help him with a mask and you would think you? I'd still rather you knew Tom. Brady left The Patriots join a tip. Or he was a free agent anyway and joined. Tampa Bay and Ron Gronkowski. His great tight end came out of retirement to join Tampa Bay. Yes I went to different. Isn't this breaking up with someone you're broken up. Don't worry about it. It's a pandemic will. They're together now the to get the same great team together on a whole new team Brady had the the whole time. That'll be something bright sort of life and now they're on an island waiting for sports to return right okay. We'll I guess we'll see what happens two years like you know. Why didn't we never got to try? This is the new fantasy football right. It's regular football is nap. I'm guessing how they would do. Yeah just imagine how great that would be. You guys see later. You'd have to pick just a random season. I know enough about a fantasy football but I feel like it depends on how people actually play that season right. It does yes. You're very close so yeah so I feel like fantasy football. You'd have to like turn it into a dice. You'd have to like make it a real thing game. Right I I'll to six touchdown. I saw the movie the pianist the other day. The Holocaust movie when it happened to be Camden Eugene Holocaust remembrance. That figured I needed to let you know what I did. I did. My duty will cause we know of the Holocaust so you got to do something special. I never know what to do Okay so you remembered view I I remember it just throughout my life so I didn't watch movie that day but I was like. Yeah but the Keith is saving his never. Forget for nine eleven. So it's hard to like. Do Two of those. Why I know two separate. This is never again Nine eleven is never forget. Never got this by the way how do you? We Are New York strong. I get it. Let me ask you guys something when you see a Holocaust movie but it's very boring. How'd you let people know that you don't right? You just give it a ten stars. This guy just went from Marmot. Come up okay good. I was getting nervous. That's good news. I I knew I was thinking of the movie the piano when I was watching this which I never saw her talent. I knew he took the dick out at a piano. So I kept waiting for Adrian. Brodie be forced to take stick out because the Nazis love to humiliate the juice. I'm like well. This is where they make him take account see. This is why I asked people not to talk to me about movies before. See them because then you're waiting for somebody to pick out a holocaust movie. Get very confusing. Well there's no Dick There's no Dick best director screenplay actor best picture and I didn't know this. The movie Ed's the record by Roman landscape. It got me again Did you pay for that? Did I was on Amazon? Or whatever is on whatever for part of the package. Yeah so you're part of it. My God the rape was a nineteen seventy seven. This was in two thousand and two ADRIA. How can you do that? How can you pay? What do we think gene? How can somebody but not to not to lead the witness? How could somebody be an a movie after you're convicted of rape and you go? You know what? I major in Brody. I'm going to be in this Holocaust movie. It's important Eugene. Merman explained place. I don't think I can I can I know I can't I feel good about that. I. I don't think I could do it. You don't have to have that's good. That's good all right. Let takes care that I was nervous about it. Like a lot of like unlikely. Would you rathers? That's basically his life. Yes yeah yeah. Speaking of fantasy football I see that a lot of race car drivers NASCAR drivers now. They compete in video games and they're playing race car video games. Well it's the same thing right I don't know do you still have to pay your pit. Crew probably will probably not right. I don't know that's probably why you paid license for the game. Let's see so there's this Guy Kyle Larson. He's playing a video game online He's a twenty seven year old nascar driver in the throughout the N. Word. He said. Yeah he said the let's see. During the eye racing event he had technical difficulties was talking to his crew. So you still have the team of some kind. He said you can't hear me. Hey and words. Civil drivers in the Stream confirmed they heard what he said. Another person another team said Kyle. You're talking to everyone bud. And he's been dropped from Nascar so he can't play real or otherwise. I love that the the heads up is you're saying this to everybody. Not You're saying that you know like hey we know that you say this but just so you know you pressed to everyone button right. And if that's what he says during a video game what does the Nascar Racer say when his life is on the line. Yeah you kinda wonder like. Is that what he's saying in the car the whole time like just as he talks or didn't we learn that online games with a bunch of ten or twelve year olds is just the N. word repeated over and over again when you're playing against them. Yes but you would think these are all adults. Think it would be different. Yeah we tend to age out of our bullshit right. It's not what do you miss more football or NASCAR EUGENE I guess football because I watch the super bowl okay. Okay I'm in Massachusetts in the Patriots. Were a very successful popular team. Are they upset that that players are going to Tampa Bay vibe out there? I feel like they might be guessing but I don't know it'd be like a pandemic really took over. I see of of a lot of like the concern so I think yeah if you ask people like two months ago they'd be like Oh. This is at the top of my thing and now they're just like I want to not be afraid of cafes in elevators this is like a bad jeopardy game where every answer is what is the pandemic with the next course with the NASCAR season on hold. It's unclear for how long the governing body will keep Larson's suspended or how many races he could miss arson was in. What was his seven FULLTIME NASCAR Cup Series? Season is six career wins. He was rookie of the year. Maybe he'll get corona virus time served. Maybe he'll be able to do every race after all. This is so surprising because I picture the people at Nascar being open minded right. You know very liberal. Very Very Bernie Bros. It seems just a bunch of starbucks and other labels and on their. You're saying nobody's jaw. Dropped when he said the N. Word now I think that's part of their vocabulary all the time. You're correcting somebody saying the N. Word in public. Maybe don't add the word. Bud Right Bud. Hey Bud anybody. You're fucking up in public eugene. What do we have scheduled for the rest of the today? Oh you mean it's all about normalcy. What are we doing what are we doing? I might make some pasta. That's GonNa make some pasta later. Okay Pasta what's known pasta? Eugene new. I don't know that there's anything. How do you play it knew? Exactly what is the pandemic linked to take up time in today until it's tomorrow wake up and be like okay so we we have a thing at night. My boyfriend and I play this game called. Hi Lo and we say the high of our day and the low of our day in what we're grateful for today just one of the things and we forget which dade is 'cause it's Har- it's like wait was today. The thing that happened like is this my high from today or two days ago. Am I do that for me today? Yeah and I'M GONNA I gonNA facetime with a friend so I have a pretty full day. I just saw buzzfeed article today. Fifteen newest things in pasta. I was sure I have not. I do have a scheduled call with my nephew. Who's about three entrance is already rejected? Okay well my my brothers have this app where you can play online with the kids and I can interact with them almost like babysitting virtually so we'll see how it goes. Yeah it's it's gone I forget what it is right now but I could send it to you after a and we can post it on But basically oh so we're GONNA try this for the first time and also I don't know if I said this in another episode or if it was on our chat which happens every Wednesday at nine pm I'm going to try because two of my nephews birthdays are coming. I'm going to try to do a magic show for them over the Internet. They're gonNA place all the kids in front of their own computers and I will do the magic can. Do you know how to do? Magic Ho cares. I'm on a screen. The kid either so easy to do magic over the computer outlets hair you know Jesus go behind the screen. Yeah just go. Hey guys. I'm here in turn off my computer. Now I'M NOT SH- I. I did kids parties for thirteen years before I tested. Yeah so answers. Absolutely I warned you tended that I played played that virtual thing with your brothers kid and he he likes this. Some memory. Game with cards So fucking bad at. Let's Eugene. I go off the monkey which we saw. In the second row he clicks on the third row and gets the duck news through of what the. Yeah Yeah Yeah I thought. Terrible twos reads terrible. Twos are probably better than threes in terms of disposition. But I would say trying to play a game. A computer with a three year old is more your fault. I needed Michael to do something so I had to watch the kids either. Fix a keeping the girls problem but man I was just. You're GONNA do good. I was I was kicking ass monkey. Well I just saw the monkey done so easy. Are you GONNA love it? We have had Also virtual dance parties with the lake If they catch me okay. We're about to go live on zoom or whatever and they play a song we just all dancing our computers. What a world their growth. I tried to do with friends. A Karaoke Zoom Party for kids for the kids and that it overall did not work it replaces my friends so that and then the part where kids were like just would sort of listen to a song. They kind of liked than it was in. That it was done are you. Are you doing shows online so that you don't go? Stir crazy or do doing John Benjamin. I do like a weekly instagram live. Qna to raise money for different charities. But I haven't been doing like a stand up in my home on a show but I would probably make a video or do something but under that I would like to tell jokes into. When's it nothing until this kind of an Eugene others? A few theories said they put it somewhere between about a year and in four years. I guess it depends. I didn't hear the four years. Well I mean you know the fastest vaccine we've ever created up until now was I. Guess Mumps Mumps I think which was four years But they they are starting human trials on Corona's virus vaccine so so we'll see it could be a year year and a half up and down with lockdowns. You know it'll probably ease up. And then when it hits a certain number of hospitalizations will have to go into lockdown again Government housing here in New York. They're doing random testing now. That just started. That's great that's great. It's once we all get tests than that. Will you know help a lot? But American needs like a million or more tests today And I think we're not anywhere near that. Well apparently they're starting with these fucking cats. It's like let's work on the cavs. I'm not kidding. You need to stay away from tigers cats are you know I guess. I don't see any more cats than I see other people. So right has your family. Yeah everyone knows being very careful than isolating keith. Keith do you know about your parents? And if there I mean I feel like. They've been training for this. Their whole life isolating forever. They haven't seen another person except in church in since before you were born my mom broken ankle had to get a cast incisions in the hospital for a little bit. That's never good at Bredon. She was doubt in things seem okay. She's out now My Dad the only thing I worry about is where does he go now to sneak? Hojo's usually unites them and drives into the local park. And it's all the candies in cakes at now. I don't know where does he does. He have to be That's the main concern there. But I think it'll feel going. Tito hoses is his risky behavior. It always has been Eugene always too much too much but that's a story for another time seven years as a lot to catch up on Eugene. Thank you very much. Thank you yeah. It's been great Also what was the? Oh we were in chat last night. we'll do that every Wednesday at nine pm Eastern but the Chad is always open because We just kind of pop in there to say. Hello it's kind of a way to get connected in to be outside without being outside keeping the girl dot com slash chat drop in there. We just basically chat people stop in On their break from work and that's all otherwise be a VIP member Keith. In the goal dot com slash. Vip The. Everything's everything's there every show we ever did So if you're getting a little stir crazy have about the fifteen years of stuff to To listen to including all the spin off shows and we'll talk to you soon.

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