Episode #1905 The New Phil Hendrie Show

Automatic TRANSCRIPT

You can't control what's outside your home but you can control what comes in. Because clorox disinfecting wipes kill ninety nine point nine percent of viruses and bacteria including covid nineteen virus when used as directed on non porous surfaces. So whether it's from dirty doorknobs dirty shoes or something else outside. Germs won't stand a chance when it counts. Trust clorox kill pseudomonas salmonella and influenza virus type a to kill sars koby too hard non porous surfaces use as directed right. Now at kohl's it's the last minute gift sale. Take an extra twenty percents off and save on kitchen. Must-have get twenty five percent off toys and get twenty percents off fragrance. Gift sets plus get cold cash. What's fast in store pickup. Still not sure what to get our gift. Cards are always a great idea with all your heart shop. Kohl's and kohls dot com select styles twenty percents offer valid through december. Twenty four th with promo code received twenty coupons do not apply to toys and beauty. Some exclusions apply see store for details. Hi guys is phil hundred for the world. Famous phil hendrie show website. Merry christmas to all and to all a good night. this is general. Do that this general kevin sharp. I'm glad i didn't mean to hit their this. General gaylon shaw. We want you to subscribe to phil's website because he's the guy that makes the money we don't we don't see a dime we do this out of the loving the goodness of our hearts because we believe in phil we do we do. That's a very good point. There we believe in mr henry and the things that he does so and to that end we ask you to subscribe to his website for both for a year for a year or for a month. Whatever you can afford whatever you can do there. You can subscribe for week if we could talk. Fill into it but he won't do that. No i won't. Because i don't know how i don't know how to do. Subscriptions for one week month three years we feel. That's the appropriate time. Let's move on okay. We don't spend our lives on this thing. Okay yes go to spend my life kick. Somebody's at the world. Famous phil henry show and phil hendrie show dot com get a subscription today or tomorrow for christmas. The world famous fill every show for the in southern california. This this is a dickman. I'm robert leonard. i'm general kevin shaw mark gray. Welcome to the world. Save phil hendrie show for today. Here then is phil hendrie. Thank you guys and margaret. I know you and frank was shopping at the chow chow mall. I don't know where that is. Where what is. Where's the ceausescu mall in beverly hills. It's the new mall that they've opened up but what happened. Was frank got into it. I was in the store. And we were christmas shopping. For for dave for for buster relief and for the rest of the guys over at at francs office and then i had some christmas shopping to do for for the twins who it doesn't matter general right so you guys were christmas shopping. Well frank is great. You wanna come on now. He's having a possible. He's doing what he said. He says he's having a popsicle get his tired. Frank what are you doing. I told voted. I was having a block. What's the problem having pumps and waiting to get on the line with henry show. You're talking to your wife right now. Oh all right well. I stopped over here. They had one of those v. Remember what we were coming out of the store tonight. They had the vendor their popsicle vendor on the twenty th whatever. This is the twentieth of december frank. California in the name of everything holy. There's fine so what happened to him. Sitting in my car and a man came over and she says to me. You're in my car at which point you know. I got out of the car. I said we'll go talk to my wife. He's in the store. He has the car keys talking about the man that approached you while you were in the parking lot right. I was in what was in. What i thought was my car. Let me start from the beginning here. Hold on for a minute. I gotta get out of there. Looks like they're having a parade here something. They're moving equipment. What what happened philly. there. I'm right here. Yeah okay what happened is. I'm sorry i came out to. the car. was christmas packages that he'd given me because we went christmas shopping. And i opened up the rear hatch on a range rover which i was sure. Was my range rover. Who is black. I have the black with a sleek lines and the linear detail okay. We don't know what that means. Frank sleek lines. The linear detail got a beautiful range. Rover it has it's got the blackout wheels and the chow chow grill. What do you mean the chow chow. That's the mole we were in no but it's named after the same guy he doesn't understand. Fill so i got into the car. The grill means it's a specialty grilled at range rover does strictly for members of the entertainment. If you happen to know you know. Put johnson are the guys over there. Beverly beverly hill chow chow. Not beverly beverly hill land rover. No i do not. If you're laughing at me so help me god. We don't know what you mean. Kelly you try to explain the story. What we heard on. Frank wait margaret. What we heard was that you got into the wrong car tonight. Got into the wrong car. But i kelly hold on for a minute. Mental illness is foot phil mental illnesses on the move. It's everywhere in america and it is in. It is secreting itself and informing the body politic. I come out of the beverly. I came out of Wolfe's margaret over their i. Their these stores. It's a story over there at the at the center at the mall we rent frank is talking about the chow. Chow mall right. Yeah the judge mo all right. That's really worth what is the. What's the chow chow grill chow guerrillas designed after the couch. It's a real specific world. You put on a land roadway ethics wayne this go ahead dope. I come out. Got christmas. Packages i get into my car. I load the packages in. I get into my car and i light a cigar and i hear out knocking. And there's a guy standing there with a inflamed red eyes and a like a beaver skin campus. I don't know what he had on but he had on a blouse a pair of women's slacks. You know this is all stuff that you're adding on all right okay. But in any way and she says to me what are you doing in my car. And i said your car i said you gotta have the sleek grill. Look there's the chow chow design. And she says to me she's my wife's in the store and what he comes out there's going to be held a pay. If you're now this is by car. I said you watch your tongue with me. My name is frank graham and entertainment turney and my wife's installed by go. Ask him and that's when she started looking at me. Like i landed in a flying saucer and came out the bottom ramp and so is they're arguing with this man. I didn't know any of this is going on. You're you're still in the store. Harveson the store. Why don't you go get her. Why didn't i go get him. Because he's in the store and he's he's wrangling. The price of a coon skin cap. I was getting the davy. Crockett hatfill left. Something like wear on one of my You know singing engagements i right. Okay well whatever. I give up a fat hot holy sweet. Jc you're in the store. Haggling negotiating the price of a coon skin care. And i'm out there trying to say by my reputation in my life with this man. Who's hollering me in the car. So frank where you in this guy's car nut hold the phone for a minute. I'm trying to tell frank you're dragging the story giving star cigar. You're speaking to sit down another guy's car. Am i gonna be able to tell the story. All right sorry. Molina up Roy chan because i happen to like good fragrant cheap cigars. That's where frank gray lives. I live right in the crotch of cheap cigars by it reminds me of the struggle that i had as i came up through the ranks. Sorry so sad So there's this guy and she says to me when my wife comes out and he sees you sitting here there's gonna be a whole planet full of trouble that's going to spin out of orbit ten can destroy a whole universes of dreams. You and i have not never had. And i looked at her and i said god lee aren't you i. I just turned away and turned up. I was knx trying to get the news and listening to gird duffy. Doing the sports you know the sports report on the football field okay. So what's the story with the car. All right so anyway. I a car. I said you're telling me this is your car. And she says yeah. And i said where's your wife. She said he's in the store is can we double check it and this. This guy has got the big nose. The wc fields jones with a with a checkered cap of some kind. And what forget about what the guys wearing. okay francis. Tell me what the the upshot of this was phil. Frank will tell you the story as he tells the story. There's a lot of detail here. Thank you very much margaret. That's why i married him. He's a wonderful woman. Backs me up. All right fine. So the guys wearing whatever he's wearing looked like the guy had on a hot rod jacket and a pair of penny loafers up so she says to my car. So what is it. I have a black land rover and she says so do i. And you're sitting in it and she said you also lit up a fat stinking roy tan and it's funny she said it's a funny thing because had been a white owl or something like the can't help to have had a tampa says it's called heaven. Tampa shows what you know. And she's all. Oh ouch that hurt. So now we get an almost a shoving match. I say You know yeah you didn't put hands on the guy. No but i felt in my mind got into a shoving match until finally this guys wife comes out of store. He's about five foot. Two eyes apply keep slipping into that too is a blue okay. I'll he was. He was of little tiny blonde feisty. Hell with a booth on hairdo and baked big rarin. Another personal descriptions are all right now. The wave comes out and he says what are you. I said what am i. I said i'm a full grown man. And i was just talking to your husband and she's telling me that this is her car now the two of them looking at me like i've got three fingers to white bulbous is that i live underground and i should. What gives here. Let me pick a prank. I come out of the store. And i said what's the problem and this man. His name was bevan bevan. I shouldn't give the attorney. I know it's already to give her name. Wallis it might. That might be night. My my phnomenom not be at a at a hard time doing some bubblicious. It also publishes it anymore. So so margaret comes out margaret cho out out and i said oh i miss my husband and these two people were stunned because of frank's gender confusion. They don't understand what he's talking about the whole thing i did. I didn't talk no. I didn't talk. Jenner confused with a let me. Just go ahead. So i said to the wife and he's about five foot to not fight but anyway i got the five foot two and Big rear end at he says to me. You look like you need a mental. You'd need a straightjacket. You're in our car. You belong in a nut house and we're going to call the police. i said. Hold on before you call the police. That's what i butted my cigar on the side panel of this guy's car o. Frank what got into you. What got into me. You weren't sure at that time. Who was your car. I was absolutely sure at the time it turned out that my current hold on for a minute so it wasn't your car. Get the big brain neuron generals. No it wasn't my car all right. Well we're trying to find out and determine exactly happen tonight. Because you all i know is phil spencer. We're going to do an hour on mental mental health. And i said who's the guest. He said frank gray and i said every hour with frank. Raise our about mental health. Isn't that cute. ha. Here's because you're a vietnam veteran doesn't mean shit and swallow what you give all right boys enough of the jail shower bench. Alright shower better on. Have you wait a minute. So you're talking to the guy. I'm talking to the guy and i said let me see the back end of of it. And she the husband she thinks i'm talking about her wife and the wife instinctively turned around and bent over and then went. Oh i didn't mean to do that now. The husband's glaring at him. Like and saying i was married. Been married you for twenty five years. You're showing it to another guy. And i sit at that time this really. Did these people really talk like that. Dickman if people really talk like you then yeah. They talked like that. Franklin not be bashing. Bud you're the guy that's having this weird conversation with these people okay. Oh i'm having a conversation these people. Okay what what what did i do. Hey frank sold. The story was what you said. You want to see the rear end of what i said. I wanna take a look at the back end of it and her wife turned around and showed me his rear end. Honey feel about that. Say that's not the only thing that happened. Then i said no. I mean to back end of the car. And that's when she says to me okay but let my wife put the groceries away and need to help him because he's only five foot two is blue whatever they said groceries. I didn't help him any growth rates and then what happened. Was i look at the back end of the car. I'll be the son of a jinglin jinglin cowboy. If i didn't see regular california license plate and i have the heritage place you know the gold on black right. They weren't there. It's gonna turn out that. She was right to husbands yellen. It may all the while. She's right in the wife screaming that high pitched whine. And he's going. Oh ooh and i said let me take a look at the back end of it. And that's when he goes you know and i don't believe a word of that. Say well then you better. I couples name is wallace and sabrina. Beaverton or bevan's give me. I'll tell you right now. Okay frank you know. You're you're a lawyer and you know how to talk. And you know how to save stuff. And i say stuff good well you know if you know what you're saying you're saying a lot of stuff here that might get you sued. But i guess you know what you're doing a manager cigar you know and they only years i've known phil hendrie never knew her to have such an acute sense sensibility and everything. So what can. I'll pick up from here frank. You'll pick up. How do you like him. You'll pick up from here all right. I'll have you pick up at mcdonald's it's gonna ask you some for drunk. Am my what he's asking you don guy by barely. I'm not drunk doll because you're sitting off in a flight of fancier i've heard you say some crazy stuff. I've never heard you talking about getting guys. The wrong car and i gotta ask you do now. Oh wait wait wait. I know what she's gonna. she's gotta ask him. I having a senior moment. That's what it sounded like. No i wasn't having a senior henry. Didn't you tell me that you put groceries in the back end and some women excuse at the backyard. Yes i did. I opened up the back end of a car. That looked exactly like mine. It happened to be jaguar. Black jaguar out black one of those. What do you call it Checkered flag jaguar. suv. I open it up. I put my groceries in. I took the cart back to the cart thing. I walked toward the car. And i realized it wasn't my car. How did you know that. Because i noticed that license plate numbers were wrong and the car was a little it. Just look different the license. You don't have a no heritage play. No i just noticed the license plate. Numbers are on c. Thanks some people member license plate numbers so that make how do you remember. I just know what the first few numbers of my the point being. Yes i opened up wrong car. And and that's the other thing. How did i get into this guy's car. She didn't lock it well. That's the problem that they have. But believe me what i did what i did. I was practicing my apologies as i was taking my groceries out of that car and putting them back in the cart my car was like two cars down. It was an easy mistake. i make. Yeah that same thing with me. When i looked at the tail end and i took a look at what it had. I mean. i shouldn't say about licensed. And i looked at the back end. And then i noticed across the Way you know across the trump separating were the perez drive. My car was across from the other car and there was by car. We defray parked across from that car. I told you frank you didn't you didn't park the ivy which is where that wall was great right. You're i know that now. I didn't know that. I did not know that then like the man said what i know. Now i did not know. Yeah do not know then. Okay so tell me more well. And that's what i said or i'm sorry sir you're right at this is your car. And she started a whole song. Dance bricks going to have to pay for the damage to the car with the cigar. You'll probably wind up paying buying that man a whole new car. All right so why buyer and a whole new car good for her up by her and her wife a whole new car and he can walk maybe then he can walk off that big anne frank. You've talked enough about how big this guy's wife's rear end was and and all the other stuff. So when i was interested in knowing about was the whole you know the the butts wants to talk about mental illness. If i'm sitting there make an honest mistake. I'm having a cigar here. She comes screaming at me with the big nose. Big glasses and some kind of a i. It's a head to come the trappers wear and wearing a like a suede vest and a leather check and about sixty five years and she says to me. Where is your wife. And i said he's in the store and and her and her wife looked at me like i'd flown in twenty five million miles from earth on a venetian rocket ship with a little lizard. That's gonna be jagged so the man looked at you like you're nuts frank. Because recalling him a her here we go again here. We go again. I never mind. Let's forget that okay. Frank's you coach. Frank i mean okay frank listen. The country is lust. it's mine people are nuts. Bigler more nuts than ever before. And i said to her and her wife. I'm in my car. The only thing that makes it not buy cars the fact that there's the heritage. There's no heritage plates on this rolling canada garbage. Otherwise i'd use this as a paperweight. And that's when she started losing her mind said you're talking that way in front of my wife and look at him. He's showing you his rear in well that that's the only part of it right. Don't suria frank. I gotta tell you when we get a chance to talk. I'm gonna explain to you. Or maybe margaret can how you're wrong you'll never be able to fill you. Can't i'm not wrong. You can't explain to him. How wrong it won't happen frank. You're gonna wind up writing a big fat check. I don't care. If i was sitting in my car. Having a cigar. Using the handle that i found and i realized oh did. Wasn't your car your car frank. So you're sitting there in what you call your car. Isn't your car you but the cigar guys door and the reason i said i would never but you're being a real pain and the you know what and i pointed the mind just like her wife dead. Shown me his all right frank. I don't know what to tell you. You gotta do a special on the mental illness. That's a foot in america. People are nuts and they're getting goofy all along and and why it is you and dickman and the rest of them. Don't focus in on this is beyond my great sync with frank. Hake michael will by wife. He me frank. Faa ks spelled. frank. I'm sorry thank you. That's great franken will never happen. We're not doing a special. Are you the host of the phil haney show. No you're not feel henry frank. I think you need to lay down or something is he. Tired get out of the market to my phone. I'm sorry thank you know. You're tired and it's been a long week. What have what have you been doing frank. I was in palm springs at the gene autry hotel throwing bones with rac waterloo Tie up all the guys that i used to. I mean we used to hunt downtown at this at the justice back in the days when boogie. Oc christ it was great. I don't know i thank you very much. I want to talk to the host of the show. Frank thank you very much money. So good talking to you greg gray. Y'all can kiss by kiss. Well i don't know to me a well. You know we love you and we love frank. There's something wrong with guy. There's nothing wrong with him. He is an obstinate argumentative arrogant man times and he just feels like he's right even when he knows he's wrong. You're saying he. He knows it he was wrong. I think he knew full. Well he was wrong but he was not going to admit it and decided that he would but the cigar. What are the things about frank. He wastes a lot of money. Frank wastes thousands if not even millions of dollars proving no point at all just being an arrogant slob. Now he'll by that man in new car one hundred and fifty thousand dollars and and be happy. He did it just so he can say. Here's your car. now take it getting it. turn it make a u-turn and park it up there. I'm frank gray. I what i feel so i know what i'm saying is it is a frightening thing to hear him when he isn't making sense. Free make sense if you can flip the gender and understand that. He's never wrong about anything world famous film. Show folks we've received a recording over the weekend. That was sent by steve bozell. You wanted to get out in front of this. Steve correct answer. I am a difficult thing. I've found a recording in my possessions. And i had talked to but dickman when i heard margaret singing christmas songs. I said i'd like to do that to see the stand up comedy That you do. What your men's club. Yes i do and you also want to be a singer. I think that. I can't be a singer and what happened was this recording was never meant to be released. Mr dickman didn't for me to listen to it. Gotta listen to what. Didn't tell you what mr henry were. You let me ask you something. This is a recording of you singing christmas songs because it's a good example of by singing. We've got an example of your singing when you hosted your own show and you're sitting in country music. This is christmas music at shows. My rank problem is the problem with this. Was i started recording this when i got home from work. It was a christmas party five years ago. When i've been slipped asked by member name. Excuse me by member of my crew. And i told clip pederson pan if this was hugh pettigrew. There's no country there's no there's no world you can escape to that. I won't find you. Slip the tab of acid. That is a criminal act. I understand but i. I don't really know who did it. You got slipped a tab of acid by a member of your crew. Whoever and you recorded the song recorded this. Christmas son got home. And i recorded this christmas on not coming onto it and you still want us to hear this. It's got good because my voice sounds good if you could just ignored. We're supposed door the part where you're you're you're tripping out and hosting on the lsd. Would i mean the tape. Anyway we got the tape is here. We're gonna play it on the air well at first i didn't want you to but then i realized that there was probably you know it wasn't that bad. I haven't heard this. i haven't heard it either. You have not heard it. You wanna play this on the one frosty the snowman. Very nita's snowman where the corncob pipe and the corncob wedge and the corn cob Steed stole man bowl. He was made of snow and he was made of blow in the blow in the snow and the blow blowing snow and blowing. Snow blow blow. Whoa whoa whoa. Whoa silk cat. Wet his snout. He began to dance about. Hey frosty the snowman was living breathing flesh and molecular structure taller. Mix structure frosty. Did it all phony. Listen nobody somebody up dump it all over town. Dekom home and dump it. Somebody's thumps frosty walk. All around town high five and little kids. How do you have a tiny kid. You put your hand in air. Then you live thick kid by the back governors jacket and help him. Smack your frosted hand. Well he led them down the street to a bank of america. they set fire to the had. Nine that's right. The famous burning of santa barbara bank. Oh man happy happy man. Any wave goodbye and he said f you all of you burn. Slow i'm applauding myself. Do not ignore the parts. You just want us to ignore all the weird stuff. What's the quality of your voice. That's all i want you to know. That's all i want to hear about your voices. A great voice. You've got a very good singing voice steve. I think it needs some work but obviously that is not a good example of your singing because of the fact that you were high on this drug man. What did you do a regular song man. I'm gonna do a regular song but dickman got of the tape. You send it over for you and filled a review not to play on the air when you gave us permission didn't you sir i did. Why don't you do another recording of you singing a regular sound like you like you saying those country songs. I mean i'm trying to say. Can i do some christmas music. Based upon the quality of that you can do some christmas. I would vote for them so my decision to make you do some christmas music. If you don't take lsd how 'bout that that's not a very difficult thing to ask. I don't think steve. If i don't do what you can sing some christmas songs for us if you don't i take lsd. I mean man. I mean what's the answer man. It's a pretty easy question. Yeah what do you think about it the fact that you have to ask me that. I think it's very offensive. Just did a dare man. I didn't mean for it to be on. A podcast is all. I'm trying to say yes. You may want to do this. i'd like to do it. Are you going to go to fort on on on on wednesday mystery. I'm going to florida on wednesday. You want to be part of the show wednesday. I mean wednesday through all of christmas. We take off however we are not going to be taking of course since week year. We'll maybe. I don't know. I thought you take christmas week off. We do take christmas week off. I don't know man. thanks a lot. Okay how about christmas eve okay. You're on st bozell. The christmas eve show that will be the twenty four th show the twenty fourth of december. Show we'll sing christmas carols right and and try not to take any acid. Take acid mad. I don't remember my own crew. What you believe me. I believe you. But you've got to be some moron and you didn't find out who did it. I tell you what. I've turned over that croat five times since that happened. So but all i know is my wife. April has polaroid of me. Apparently painted polka dots. Myself or some stupid ass. Wife has pulled. Polaroid's you're kidding henry. Yes yes yes all right. We got to see those to not a chance. That's the funniest thing. I've ever heard my life all right man well. You should've been me. No thank you but we will certainly enjoy having you christmas eve singing christmas carols okay. Well don't do me any favors. Mr henry look. You're the guy that sent over a tape of you sing and that stupid song on acid so be happy that we're actually entertaining the idea of having you on the show. You got a good singing voice steve. But that's the stupidest thing i've ever heard stephen. He's right if you're going to sing. You have to sing in a way. Please don't lecture me. I think i have a good thing invoice proposal. You a decent singing voice okay. We knew that when you segments country songs. Just don't start telling everybody how it is right. Steve thanks. i'll talk to you. Then what you got. Fuck me. world-famous phil hendrie show. Thanks to the misery slim's by the way for the music tonight very good one of our favorite bands. Their misery slim's a world famous. Henry show you saying executive produced by me. Fill henry for separate inc. All rights reserved on podcast. One i'm margaret gray dickman. We already did this. You style and you can't control what's outside your home but you can control what comes in. Because clorox disinfecting wipes kill ninety nine point nine percent viruses and bacteria including ovid nineteen virus. When used as directed on hard non porous surfaces. So whether it's from dirty doorknobs dirty shoes or something else outside. Germs won't stand a chance when it counts. Trust clorox kill pseudomonas. Salmonella and influenza virus type eighty to kill sars kobe to an hard non porous surfaces use as directed right. Now at kohl's the last minute gift sale take an extra twenty percents off and save on kitchen. Must-have get twenty five percents off toys and get twenty percents off fragrance. Gifts sets plus get kohl's cash. What's in store pickup. Still not sure what to our gift. Cards are always a great idea with all your heart shop. Kohl's and kohls dot com select styles twenty percents offer valid december twenty december twenty. Four th with promo code received twenty operas and coupons do not apply to toys and beauty. Some exclusions apply see store for details.

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