137. Criticism with Cal Wilson and special guest Celia Pacquola
I am a feminist bunch quite enjoy learning. I find it soothing actually have to do it. But what I really like about. It is once I've owned the Onnaing board for long enough, the cats come and sit on it. They it. This may just warming up in receipts. Three doors over it becomes a laptop for them. Yeah. They not talk because it's warm in. And that's that's pretty sweet I can has cheeseburger thing whether it's a little on a laptop and the cat saying if not for sits why made of warm. Adorable. Fez have been cat loving arrow. I always thought to that. They should be like I liked the feminist version of the bachelor, and it will be called the spinster, and it would just be twelve women competing for the love of a cat. I'm in for them, albeit contested, the thirty bad things about because the cats now, no the Onnaing borders, like the one place to sit is that if I'm on an address they will get inside the drifts at the bottom and just kind of swing. But you're in a send warmed hammock or something some airtime. Dangerous dangerous for everybody. I'm a feminist. But I said to the tool producer last night in Melbourne. Look, there's an exhibition at echo, which is the. Australian center for creative arts contemporary aunts. All odds of creative. It's quite a long time show, wasn't it. This an exhibition at the Australian centre for contemporary art, the next door to this very lovely theater called unfinished business perspective on art and feminism. And I said look God. That's amazing. It's right now. I should go to that. And he said, yeah. But you won't will you and I said, no, you're right. I want. Shots at five. And I don't have to be Hissel six get radio early. Then you could just get someone to tell you about it like Zuni one here this. I would. What's? Speechless. I'm a feminist. But sometimes I wish I was a dude just so I could we off a balcony. So befriends husband do it at new year, and it just really fun. And I was like, yeah. I could we off a balcony, and it's kind of the aftermath that are not so good with like is this a bit to the MRI kinda holder copter. Suspend do have a super advantage on that kind of thing. It's one of the things that makes me think there is a God. And he's a mom. See Tita she way or something like head, sir. All like can icing piper. Or scott. Obviously, I wouldn't use it again. But. Scott, the we it. I mean, you could make nothing pumpkins. Different shape nozzle. So you can have no that doesn't work at all. I'm a feminist. But when a friend tonight said he'd seen audience members walking out of feminist and African American Powell film Black Panther. He'd seen them walking out in it. I said we'll hopefully they babysitter. Texter to say their childhood died because that's the only reason you should go out of a film like that. And then I thought that's probably not okay to say not seven s you would takes to news anything that's with pool. Just wouldn't came to the show in LA. She's actually quite actress, and she was sitting there. And she said after what she said, I was enjoying the show so much. I don't start at the phone and the babysitter had texted child's name. Let's say it was Tina wasn't. Tnr is dead. And she said I thought that must be a typo because she said I didn't want to go. So I just thought probably not should. I was so into the show. She said afterwards. I look down on it actually said tina's in beds. She said I'd miss read it and thought that can't be Ryan's. I would love to be relaxed as appearance like because I'm I'm the opposite. Like if my husband hasn't taken me back within ten minutes. I'm like, well, he did he's gone. Like Nomo husband. Is there a tiny bit of relief as you feel free? Every person will you do think would be a new chapter. Really ties in with your mindset of like, the only reason you'd walk at a black pair he'll be if you didn't you're like, well if you husband did die. I. My husband edits this podcast. So this will end up very much on the customer. This is just for us in this room to enjoy. He's not putting it out there and telling you that but nothing or if he does it'll be in that bit at the end where does a blueprint the end it'll be there. I'm telling you that right now for nothing into suspended him sobbing quietly. The. You that's what it would be on the feminists about the other day at the airport when my husband let me we own heavy suitcase bit like, hey lift your game. And my suitcase. To be fit. He was holding his own backpack and our son's backpack. But I was still like Thai. This is the, you know, we'd we I go together. Like, I put my Becca at trying to prove that carry it draws by myself. So it's not like a need to prove anything to know. I'm a feminist bought just before the show cale said, let's all go backstage and put on makeup on. And I said my my Cup is on. And seeing you coda was there and she said, oh, no you look fresh like you've come out of the DOJ. Oh. Gazebo? And I went backstage and put on lots more. For the. I guess goes Powell's. Special. Owed on to. This is the guilty feminist cost in which we explore on noble goals. Twenty-first-century feminist poker season insecurities, which on the mine them today. We are talking about criticism. I mean. Yeah. I know it's terrifying. As feminists when can we be criticized by whom when can we give criticism what is criticism stultifying when is criticism motivating when is criticism necessary. When does it gets to change? Does it gets to fail? Why we hate it? So fucking munch. Why is it so painful, why is any tiny little minimal criticism? Just make us go. Is that because we criticized that much as children because of the patriarchy because it hates fem people and non binary people, and it wants us to conform into the binary. And therefore we're so used to patriarchal criticism that when we get some actual valid criticism sorts that we should be taking on board. Just makes us feel like we're being criticized as children again. And then we just. We just. Is just replaying the conversation we had the suffering when you're gonna win that top. We'll topping topping. That's what's happened. No. I'll tell you just confronting knows criticism specie, if it's your mom, but I mean it a loving way. I mean at loving mom, who's a delightful creature. She is so beautiful and the mummy est of the mums in my friend circle. She wants to me when I get my ESPN's for the second time. It makes you look like a slut. Which I didn't think it did. But apparently, but also there's nothing wrong with being a slot. That's should've been your comeback. I mean, the thing is when you fourteen and say to nothing wrong with being a sheet. I don't think we got to that point. Then where slot not a pejorative and had been really cleaned. No. It was a different era. When just slot equalled, Biden, we felt bad about it. It calls bomb having four holes in the ears and not to think was says, you creating extra orifices. And that's what she didn't. It's true. That's what it is. Here's our offices. And they make your mother nervous. She doesn't like the orifices. You have would gladly. So those up. She doesn't want extra orifices meme Senate. We're than she is. I just think mothers in general with teenage daughters fiercely now, there are a lot of enlightened mothers who are just like your sexual being Harvard. Dialing. Hopefully, if I were mother of a teenage daughter, I would be saying what are we saying saw stop doubting. I think that's a bit much. But I think I would be saying this no such thing as a start. And so it's like Santa like. We've been told that this mythical creature called a slut that comes all the time. Really? It's just your mom. That was a perfect punchline to joke. None of the setup so good. We weren't expecting a punchline guys provide as one that's gonna me show. Piece of spontaneous on if only we were recording this. Have you been following Douglas high? Okay. Terrible shooting in America. And the Doug was high students, basically have said this is going to be the last mass shooting at a school, and we are going to get a salt rifles band. And I mean they've been cold snowflakes. They've been criticized massively and they've been called snowflakes. How anyone could call a teenager who's just being in a traumatic mass shooting with their friends of died and is happy to get on a plane or a coach and go to Washington demand audience with the president and speak passionately and powerfully about this experience, which they they must have post traumatic stress disorder during this time and speaks powerfully and actually make meaningful change a snowflake is extrordinary to me. But the most extraordinary criticism is the conspiracy theories have you heard about this? So some people are saying they're actors. Yeah. That they're actors and they've been hired to pretend to be high school students in our Ray people saying, they're not real students. Obviously that to articulate took it at this. They've been media trained. They're obviously just like twenty five year old out of what actors on Broadway who like have been auditioning for a while. And nothing's really worked out there. Like, I look pretty young. I think I could play a traumatized students who has been through a mass shooting, and I could go to wash and this is the conspiracy theory that's currently going around and some of the responses from the students have been excellent my favorite was if you'd seen me in my high school production of fiddler on the roof. You don't think that I was an actor? To this. I've got video threats. So I was thinking about this. And I was thinking about conspiracy theorists because they are critiques of something they have to invent. So they invent the thing that criticizing. So it's like going to a Broadway show inventing a whole other Broadway show and critiquing that Broadway show, and I was thinking about my favorite conspiracy theory, which is the nine eleven conspiracy theorists. Do you guys know about the nine eleven conspiracy theories? So that will actually bombs in base of the World Trade Center, and that's what really brought it down. And I always think because people went backwards, and they go over to building full that way. Oh, but a plane wouldn't crush that way. Oh, but it would be difficult to see the plane into the building. But why is there this on the ground, and I sort of think they never really stepped back and go how did this begin? So I sort of have a much it. I always imagine in my mind, the young guys that must have gone to George W Bush who they believe was the one who started this false flag. Attack because that's what the conspiracy Sarah say, they say George Bush needed an excuse to evade invade. I've got a son in Iraq. So he created a false flag attack. In other words, he wanted a Middle Eastern country to attack America. So that he had the justification to do it. And I think I can I can see that. I can see George Bush wanting that and I can see how it would begin. But then like, I just imagine like you'd have to hire some creatives to do it come up with the ideas. And I just always imagined the young PR guys who was sent into the Oval Office to pitch because they have been those if that's the case, and I just imagine them going in and going. Okay, president. We've got an idea. We know you want a spectacular false flag attack. You need something where people say this is unequivocal. This is the worst thing that happened in America. It's going to be spectacular conscious. Be the same old same old things we've seen before so within king planes into buildings amazing spectacular. You gotta have the footage for CNN is gonna be incredible. I'm George Bush Gunja like it. I like it goods go that spectacular certainly. Yes. Great. Okay. But this is the best part. We're not sure what the planes are going to do to the buildings. So we'd like to put. Bohm's at the foot of the building just to make sure it's really something else. We don't want to be giving you what some of the other PR agencies are going to be offering you which is kind of ordinary. We wanna make sure this goes up. Okay. Great. So so people are going to think the terrorists did planes on Bohm's. No by that's the beauty of this. The bums a secret. Why the bomb secret that just got to be secret? So people think that the planes did all the damage, but really the planes did half the damage and the bombs did the rest of the damage, but everyone's got a sink the planes. Did all the damage? Okay. Guys, guys. This is too complicated down. This is this no need for secret Balm's like, let's just do the planes thing. It's easy. Simple. Whatever damage they do. I feel it's going to be enough that people are gonna go that was really bad. No, MR president, you need the bones. Okay. Well, in that case, the bums need to be bumps like, we need to say, hey, the plane's though, Bohm's they did both known the Bohm's need to be secret. Okay. Guys, the thing with Bohm's. It's really hard to do them secretly the bomb really fucking obvious. When they go off guys there's already to make the Bom secret. If you want to do bombs down with bombs dommage planes down with bulbs, but I don't want to do the ball of secretly. It's too much of a chance that's gonna come out. People are gonna be like our goals. Mr President, spare Keach my plan while branding agency, these bombs be secret, we need people to think the planes did all the work, even though the bombs did have the work. Just fucking heads. Why is this to you is just important? Just trust us on this one. We're the experts your just a president. We do peel. And then this point he goes, all right fine. It's so important to you. And you really think you can make the bump secret fine. So we'll just have these passenger planes into buildings. Yes. Bont? Bont the plane's not the planes that you think they are what we'll tell people that passenger planes, but really we're going to send military planes into the building too difficult passenger of buildings we're going to send military planes into buildings. What are we to send the military into the buildings and say they've been hijacked, no passenger planes. It's got to look like possible. Where are you going to do you gonna do the positive planes? We're going to land on an island off Hawaii. And pay the people to live there forever. And just not tell anyone guys. This is the plus lots. This is too Mr President. Let us do our job. We gotta to scatter some random pulse. Sports around of people who we want everyone to think all the terrorists just want. It look really bad if there's just like a full possible ban. But surely that's gonna look from DOE. It's going to look, right. And then we're gonna fly. Well, we're gonna make it look like we played at the Pentagon, right? But there's gonna be no plane. No play to all. What are we display plant into the pentacle because we wanna use that holograms? That is Jacob leave that is genuinely the conspiracy theory. Hologram plates. Joe? The president. I don't planes. We've got some new technology, really? Stick with us on this one. All right. You seem to know what you'll doing what I love about the response to Douglas high is how incredible these teenagers. Really all I just want to read you some of the responses this is from Sarah Chadwick. She says we should change the names of AR fifteen tomorrow Rubio because they are so easy to buy. And Jacqueline Koren. Who says you're missing the point. This is Twitter, by the way. That's not really he says, you're missing the point. We don't wanna take away your guns. We just want to prevent Americans from owning assault weapons into tighten the methods at which a person can push the firearm. Sorry at NRA. The children are winning thought some press. They're incredible. And consistent response is just phenomenal to watch. They really give me hope that the future of this world's in good hands. If we can just get it to them if we can get it to this next generation who are inclusive who do understand gender fluidity. Who do I'm stunned that something like America being owned by the NRA is destroying generation and all taking back that power who are so feminist in their attempt so socialist in their intent, I really feel they're going to turn it around. But we've just as the sorts of middle generation got to wrangle it. So that they just get it. We've got to find a way to sustain the world's that stands without some terrible terrible thing happening in terms of borough climate change because if we do it's going to be in the hands of people like Cameron Caskey who says. David hawk who was accused of being an actor. It was accused of being one of these outworked trauma students. David Hoge is smart funny diligent. He says in defense of his friend who survived the shooting and went to Washington DC. He is smart funny and diligent, but my favorite thing about him is undoubtedly that he's actually a twenty six year old felon from California. About. Really really feels like a moment doesn't it? Like these kids have they've taken control of the own story. Like the way that they not leading people at the NRA or other people who signed that they're making this up the telling the story and the being so courageous also just not backing down there just saying we're going to keep on and the things that they've done include just so you know, what they've managed to achieve in a short period of time. I saw this on Facebook today in just nine days students have pushed for CNN town whole forced Rubio commitments squeezed, the president to propose a bump stock bound, and that's the device that makes mobile it's come out of already terrifying. Gum, pressured advertisers to stop funding, the NRA crowds millions of dollars for a March. They've done more in nine days than politicians have been able to do in years. Direct-action is the way forward we can convince politicians to do what we want if they think they're going to lose power the mall. We'd go to number ten all the White House. Okon bre and say you work for us. We don't want. This. You have to change or you will lose power the more. We do what they want is to continued power. So the more it becomes clear that the segment of society that they're under representing or their modulating will vote if you are a young person a person of color, a transparent, we need to get everybody voting and everyone vocal that voting and allies saying I as a person will not vote for you. If you don't legislate on behalf of my transistors and brothers. That's what we need to be saying because some segments of society, if you're a minority ethnic person, you're a minority, and that's why you don't get legislation for you. So the majority has to step up and ally hard and say what how you legislate for my friends will affect my vote because it's not going to change until we start doing that. Until we start letting them know. Today is an award-winning stand up comedian on award-winning actor multi multi award. She's got more awards than anybody except George Clooney. And the co creator of the television show rose haven. Please. Nice. I meant the dodger thing is compliment, really not show entirely. What it is does a Karachi. Yes. E- house. Do I look like? Weck solve you could've of KOMO of vise. Yeah. So yeah, I'm real Anna joke, but it is a couple of because she signed it you've come out of a dodger, and you look fraiche like you've just totally what that might be real fifty dudes killer, leased oil being fighting men's rights activists. Yes. Probably just flowing you. I'd say for flipping the my shoulder in reality. I have no suffrage it too. Very good. Yeah. Thank you back because he told me this afternoon. That's what we're gonna be talking about. And I've realized I have a very special skill to hit everything as criticism even on criticism. Just you looking at me right now is like I'm sorry to stop. But it was warm embrace. Oop. I know it's not you. It's very much. We'll sort of examples like I think it might have started. I went to an old girls high school that'll do it explained. Well, this is very much all girls high school, the number one. Most commonly used phrase in any old bills high school is behind my back and. The second most common is right to my face. It was and it was you could never tell like genuinely it was a life of life. It was five years. But when you it's like, a, you know lifetime of people saying things like I love your outfit. Tell you the suck has them. So I think I grew up never actually knowing what was real. And what's veiled sort of insult? And always have a way of pulling an insult out of a compliment. I think women ought so criticized every billboard criticizes us it's an implied criticism. Isn't it? Every time you see a woman on a billboard who is smooth issue. Not you suck. Why didn't you could be? I went into this big venue that we use the guilt famous in London, which is sort of like also lots of chamber orchestras there installing and they have these huge billboards at the front of whoever's on and often it's like famous cellist and stuff who I don't know. I don't know famous cellists. But I can we all do I can tell. Sometimes it's comedians and stuff one day I walked in. And I didn't know that I was going to be on the billboard. And it was a photo of me from a photo shoot. Where bar this big feather hat. Wings. Yuck. And I was starting like posed with my hands on my hips. And it was from the shots. Probably a year old. And I was doing a lot of yogurt at the time. So I think I was title title. I was more toned, and I was tighter. Also, my is kind of cute, and I looked pretty fierce. And I walked under am I was with my goddaughter. She said, oh, let's go picture in front of it. Or I did. I remember one of us. Wanted a picture in front of the poster of me. And then so I looked at the picture of me with Mike Alta in front of the poster. And I look as good as that. You hearing myself to my enviable eight may even when it's you realistic. I'm telling you, I setting off to that every time that building scurried in because I couldn't live up to my build. I'm not think it's true though, nobody on a billboard looks like the billboard. Because it's you in the best lighting wasn't furnish up probably a bit because it was huge. And otherwise you pause look like mountains, but it was an unrealistic defer to show it wasn't like they chopped off my hips off. They were still big box. It was beautiful lights beautiful makeup. And I was just looking at it going. I will never be that really only be that in that shot. And then I realized that every time I saw Bill but margin the real person standing onto Nathan going, but they finish up my sunny line, all but all the clothes peg in the bat. I was glad that so many people walking past that going you sorry, you probably make a little feel really bad about themselves as a compliment like I've seen that photo when it super hot. And like intimidates me I'd say that'd be. This woman. I'm a feminist up. My billboard makes women feel about. For the billboard though. I didn't also the billboard and Doria. Also, I think I'm allowed because I'm not in that bracket of super attractive to note. I mean, okay, this is dangerous surgery. No, no, I'm not I'm not like petite and bloomed. And like, I don't know. What thinks this is the other thing I was going to get to the self criticism. We find a way from a place of I've seen that photo. And it's hot and you're gorgeous sure without being absolutely not like a science six like, I don't know this vision that I have of what these stereotypical tractive woman is isn't me. That's true though on saying I looked wear look. But I don't think I'm Jay this is therapy. I should stop. I should stop objectively enemy. But no, I'm stuck have a look that way. If somebody if I have a team of people around Shicheng anyone can look a list if you by the right people, it's grooming. Screw ho Jenny creamy. It's totally gumming. So yes, if you grew me does. But I think that's anybody though, I still feel I'm out of billboard. Because I've done conform to a stereotype what I'm stuck Beckett. Is you say mobile would makes women feel shit. But. Martill? And I don't think it does a sort of said that in a way that maybe didn't make us feel better. When we see those billboards of people, we don't know that seem so unrealistic to think of that woman's gonna everything that I don't God that woman thinks she's one for half achieve not look gorgeous. She is and thought of that woman will be positive owned building going. Oh, I can't even live. That's what I do know, I'm module whenever I see like a bus stop. I mentioned the real woman standing next to it. And I imagine how she looks with makeup in normal nights. Or even if I'm feeling like I need extra help on nights. Fishing room nights. I think this is how this is how she feels that Bill allied to everyone, including her really helps me because I find billboards to be criticism, and that's ridiculous. But it is true. Just what? And then we discouraged by the patriarchate from leadership roles with constantly told every time, I see an all male panel or all male panel with one woman on the end who's being edged out. That's a criticism. It's a criticism of women in general that we shouldn't be on panels. Yeah. I just in my because of our line of work criticism as a lot more person. But it just as well, actually, this is one hundred this week. And I want to get it off much as I did a show somewhere on this tool. I we are doing one nine. And I thought I had both for the guests are group of women who are incredibly diverse, and then we realized I was on top of one nine and that night they happened not to be there. And so we didn't have guessed, and it was really hard twenty guest or co host because everyone shows at the same time at this particular place. So we found a really co host who was able to flying. And we found a really pissed who was on the fringe. And it was a really really good fun show and afterwards there was a review which I never look at my reviews, but someone had average the reviewer saying, no, no, no look at the history of the pope cost. They do do a lot of diversity. And so then I kind of had to click and the review I had said two things one is by looked around and basically virtually everyone in the audience was white middle class than straight. And this is because Deborah is drawing those people to her because her podcast is all about white straight middle class women. It's all from their point of view. They all referring to the husbands, and they were all referring to having businesses and that kind of thing, and so it will fall far from the Mark if you're not in that category. And I got really upset because I felt I was reviewing the audience. And I thought you look around that you don't know who straight unless you're imposing your ideas of sexuality and gender expression on people. You don't know who's indigenous just because somebody has pale skin doesn't mean that they're that whites. I'm living with someone who Syrian who's very pale. And he says he is white privilege. You don't know that you certainly whose middle class unless you're going working class people don't dresses, well or something some imputation that you have in your mind, who's disabled just for some of the wheelchair disabled. So I got really angry, and I also got really angry because I feel like my commitment is over the course of the show over the vailable seats. I must not available. Too bad. Vailable seats over half of them need to be sat in by people who are not white straight middle class. But I don't want to also close down voices of amazing women who are out there doing their thing because they're not in that category. I just need over half of those seats and recently someone called me on and said, what's your diversity in LA? And I counted up we'd hit seventy percent, which was really good. I mean for comedy, it's incredible. But. Moving before. But it is. I thought it was really good. And some when she said, oh, you've basically created an audience in your own image. Because all you ever do is thought you could've just clicked on the thing and seen previous episodes and seen who was there. I don't mind the comment given the diversity of the show. This one was particularly white straight wasn't actually fully Mukasa saying, I don't mind someone saying I found this disappointedly homogeneous given that, but she basically had made a decision, and I got so upset and I hundred incredibly badly hormonal and jet jetliner did not know because I still don't know what my period is coming. Why that is why I think it's because yet to save every month of my work is I think it's because I'd hide it so much that every time it finishes a few. Glad that's never happened again. Yes. Ordered something online. And then it's between five and seven business day. Arrive at some point of these couple of weeks. So I always wear every time so more of us jet nights. So I mean, it he tweeted the review and said something like you can review me my audience. You don't know who they are. And that's your conscience bias. But I also said we're really working to include. And this review will exclude because some people will read it go all this for me, then and then they won't hear does Roberge and Souza more clever. Whoever else is on that. We kinda got to be what about they don't going to hear those people because you've made in active exclusion, we're trying to include. And she said, I'm sorry misrepresentative, please address everything else to the editor. And I wrote to the said, well, we're not changing it because she has a PHD gender studies focusing on your sexuality, and I thought we'll please Senator comedy because. Doctors. The PHD's sexuality that have great civilian. This is main. Main. My main thing we've criticism in terms of whether I take it on board on and whether I give it it's two questions. It's who am I and who are you like other than a review that light FOX? But even something that I feel about this. So I feel like if it somewhat yet another situation in the same place that you're referring to we're much good, by the way. Doing a drag show the caravans three beautiful men being mentors in the caravan. And the publication sent a twenty year old homophobe to review the show. He did. Anyway, I thought about it. And I wrote another Email saying, well at least track the Paul said, and I said retract the pot about the audience or just say the bottom asterisks that says we do not know the demographic calls I joined on the demographic compared to what that town normally gets competitive you come to the fringe. And you don't know how many people they just don't fucking knows please don't say, but they didn't respond to my emails, and she didn't respond to any of the tweets now. I thought about lace out I calmed down. And I thought here's the thing. I was so indignant, and I'm so put out because I felt like lady I've really been trying more and more to censor women of color queer women, and I felt really put out. I thought I'm trying what taking meet what did you just try like men? Doc fringe festival doing shows called boys. Boys boys, all the time. Section really upset. And then I just thought about it. And I thought, you know, why my show is intersectional Krizan when we started we will pretty white straight. People wrote in and said, hey, pretty straight. We said things like welcome lettuce gentlemen, and then some rain and when I'm not binary and that makes feel excluded. And I was like. And every time we go to criticism, we changed. So the only reason the dish show is so intersectional or doing suffered or anything in calories prison. I don't know any of this shit two years ago said I didn't know any of these things. I opus is a every single thing. I'm doing everything. It's the only reason I'm doing anything good in the world critcism. So I it a lot more than it owes me so one should he review from someone who did not stumble doing who? I recommend you know, what I reckon? She heard the rest of the episodes. I want should have done. He's right back and go. Hey, I'm sorry that you didn't enjoy this episode. But I reckon you really enjoy the one about Handmaid's tale. I think you'd really love the one about minefields, and I really would love to direct you some those. And if you feel that actually audience would enjoy those things that I did in the says hangers associate I feel about birth. Sensitive and if they're not gonna sleep fun. That's what it should have said. And I woke so my new my new feeling this. I have to give myself forty eight hours to respond. There is always a policy. There's always another chance to break up with the bad boyfriend. But there's not always another chance to get together with that postal. So you should know you should break up the boyfriend. That's. Charleston. There's always the chance to read an Email. There's a chance to take an agreement back. So not have to write an apologize anyway. So so you're saying when someone gives you criticism you have to wait forty eight hours. Water fits face to face. To the potassium supplies. Always carry back bag Bates. Where the saying that in between length again. Why would just be like set time? I do think it's good to try and take good things out of criticism. Like that. And also trying to do using it to its by rather than because we get reviewed. I worry that it will make me too safe to take risks because I don't want people to say something they weren't like Michaud in particular by show this year is the first time where I think that we will who really will like it. I think there's going to be people who will come knowing me from other things really would like it at all. But I would think come out is you can use it as an inspirational thing to get stuff done, not reviews in particular. But twenty seventeen I had a Mata rather than a resolution, and this is the other way get anything done by motive twenty seventeen was you'll see you'll say. It may be the images the spot just look in the mirror ominous show. Eight is your. Haters. You're gonna get my backup. Motto was made. Fuck you. Suggest version of that. Which is which. Which would be my one because I sort of go to more of an upbeat tempo. Version. Yeah. Same time. You're a little bit. So what I do with reviews? Now, I just don't read them. I get someone to read them for me let so we have management, and so I get someone manages to read the reviews, and then they tell me if this useful thing to put on the poster, and I just act as if it hasn't happened. But when I started my show, I started my show the lead fringe and manager who is like he's got like a laser brain for comedy came to a show. And then he came back sides after gave me half an hour from noise, and it was incredibly confronting the shows could hindsight. And the first thing he said was you shows not about hindsight. It's about anxiety. And I was like oh in hindsight. I wish I had time side. Really confronting this, man. Who is so brilliant all of the nights? He gave me made my show so much bitter. And it was a real spurring on thing. Go oh shit. I thought it was all right? But it's not. All right. It's okay. But I can make it bid, and it was real much of anything here that take him anything other that tried to think hurt straight away. But it does make it better. Also think about all of those kids on like strategies, go town really could've done with them. You love your kids. But who just take him a side doesn't have to be made just a love by. Singing his shit. Does your own child's though, I think I don't have children. But when it's your child, do you not think they can sing is that the do that don't have kids that I know of that's an old joke. Somebody's leaving to tell their child this shit. And I'm thinking you've just she's just got up and going, right? I'll do it. Now. I hope she's going to the what has been too many years listening to that banjo. It's awful. Tonight. In terms of feminism, critcism, we get criticized by other feminists. We get criticized by people on the internet who don't like feminism a tool. How can we be more constructive criticizes? Because I think what you'll go. This is what you was thankful count if criticizing someone. Yeah. Come from that criticism. Like you wanting the person to do something bitter. Are you hoping to help them? Do you just wanna fuck them off? Like is it like you just wanna fuck them? The right way to criticize. Isn't it? That's in the couple of times. Nicking negatives. Pretty someone sort of saying, oh, why do you trust like that? You're my favorite early example of Nagin was me, and my friend were editor a and Melvin over to drama school that we didn't get into relevant. But I'm just telling you, so go to my friend. Susan went a fucking hot tub and she want to fuck off and stop looking at it in. And it was just. Didn't see sex. This seven woods. This is gonna be classic, Nick. This is the most credible woods that a person that identity has opened with about today win you used to be beautiful dim yet. It was amazing because it wasn't your ugly. It was there was a time. When you had it. But it is not this day. It was. My. Yup. Line that I ever got was those lines through. It was really funny. It didn't work. But I thought it was really funny guy up to the basal go in the room. But on the only one talking to you. This opening line just from nothing to these things standing some club. God, I go. He it's to in. So desperate eggs skews me. I was ending near the toilet. And he thought I was in the queue for the toys. No. Disparate to us. That's better though. Telling the story, two grandchildren and like well grandkids us rod Wedneday, grow brevity thought. Your grandmother really needed to pay and he pointed that and. I looked at an just tell let it was bloated. And I thought she is the woman with strong pelvic floor muscles for me. No wrong. But hey, still tells that story as well to himself every night this he can't sleep. This lies in bed going you sprint. What was his Icaria watermelon moment? My we did tell me that. You think I'm dressed like dirty? Did I did? I did. I said I wish on my dad's interest. I had a dress. Oh, I'll feel like what a Milne's, but I do know selectivity daddy. What? No, it makes me feel like the good old days. When you stand on the podium by yourself and Mike with a gun then made in the alley. None of this. True. I am era. I am I went to an underage nightclub code protein, which I only figured. It's now a mattress factory coincident. Oh, I think Mercedes a good nicely. Like, it was it was a mess. It was spelled protein like chicken like chicken has protein and the orange. Okay. Tony humiliating? Yes. My god. My god. This is the worst thing if ever happened. So you wouldn't you wouldn't know what to look at me. So this is unusual that I'm in address as you would know usually Jason Tatum. Imus fifteen year old boy in the buddy, thirty five year old woman. Okay. Comfort is my dream. Right. But there was a time when I was under sixteen because Bill school there was why miniskirts crop tops because he went what because they had the black lots in this glow. While you're on the podium this. This is. Time if I was to describe my car my wardrobe. It was a lot of mesh and dragons. And one important guy. Oh my God. Tap on the shelter. Hands pants place. Explaining to you, Debra. Want scuds? Confused, also Celia. So I wasn't wearing pants. My hands would not at side of the pants with a shoot. If they weren't inside the pets. I said it was explaining to, you know. You get a whiteboard. He's panting. Early nineties. In the ninety s. It was an era. Just give us a shot. If you were child in the nineties of you too innocent to be seen in the nineteen just chin. The nineteenth. You don't remember the nineties? What how what were you born? Have you seen the graduate young? Could be a very nice MRs Robinson. What shouldn't get back to me? The things like it's terrify. I'm glad it's so much scary now with like. Accent with technology and sending images. Wearies do sketches of episodes. One time. This is a spoilt by shows at I'm not proud of this as well. But one time let it die film something I because twenty when I it's six wasn't like storyboards in a trotting sheet. What I'm saying, I dated a guy you had a phone. The good thing is that was like ten years ago. So and it's a knock. Yup. The chances of that being any kind of this is getting blurry shapes. Brian. Thanks. What am I going to be? That I should have done this. Hollow guilty feminists. Eight is Deborah. I am briefly interrupting podcast listening to let you know that my film say my name is going to be screened in London on the twenty second of February at film fest into national if you would like to find out more just go to film fest, international dot com. Ten AM in the morning. It's an only one on the twenty second February. And I think I'm going to be doing Q, and I often woods, and I will certainly be there to have a selfie with you or sign. Your book say my name is also going to be on in black pool at the winter gardens festival on the seventeenth of March. So give that a Google to find out more details on the fifth of much. I'm going to be hosting the stylist remarkable women awards. I'm terribly excited about this. So if you go to stylist code at UK, you can find out more about this. I believe you can nominate women and vote for them. And I will let you know more about this. Keep an eye. On my Instagram feed. D F Dobbs DB's, Ed and also at the guilty feminist Instagram feed, we will be touring around the country becoming around, but some of your favorite guilty feminist co host doing stand up comedy and a big live guilty feminist with everything you love about it in big venues with lots and lots of fun songs comedy chant everything that you'd have. It's not going to be recorded. It's not gonna be a podcast. It's going to be one show that we tore around. And we've already let you know some of the dates in our second week. We're going to be at Ipswich culture STA Richmond and south end on C that's on the ninth tenth eleventh. And twelfth of may there are dates from the first of may two league thirtieth of me all over the country. So check out our website, guilty, feminists dot com what TicketMaster dot code it. UK to find those dates come along. Check it out. It's going to be a big big celebration. Do not miss it. Global? Just just for another exciting season. We will be appearing alive and recording the show on the twenty third and the twenty fourth of March at full PM at kings place in King's Cross London. It's diversity based comedy panel show, and you the high wind of the audience get to play do not miss it. Go to kings place co two K to get tickets before they go help refugees in Kelly are in dining of tents and sleeping bags. Please. Check out their website to find out how you can donate and get them there as always my book is available at Worcester NHS, Amazon and in all good bookshops. And if you would prefer that I read it to you because you enjoy the podcast, then it is available on audible back to the cost. The sage the wonderful, the only the famous right here. It's count Wilson. I understand that criticism is not just criticism from critics, but as a performer, I think of criticism is generally coming from someone who has been paid to tell me, I'm shit. So. I was thinking about all the criticisms that I've had in my life all from review is. But I was just going through the list of all the criticism that I've never forgotten one pace was seventeen. We did a play at high school. It was called the insect. Play in me, and my best friend would just up his Beatles. Not like, John Paul Ringo, and George, but actual Beatles. And we head amazing makeup on we had Whiteface within a blackboard around their face and big rig cheeks, and we gave her Beatles sort of northern accents from England. 'cause he wanted to make them sound really entertaining. And afterwards. The judge said it wasn't attaining. But would have preferred regional Kiwi accents. And the thing is this only one Kiwi accent? And this is it. Actually that's sorta adore loads. But they will sound the same to you. So. The reason are clearly is when we wash makeup off it was such cheap makeup that we'd had legit reactions to it. And so when we washed Mike, we just head Russia's in the shape of the makeup. So for the whole week. We look like Beatles. Even though we had on one time OD youth group friends getting sick of me cracking jokes all the time and one of them seed, you try to be funny. One hundred percent of the time. But you're only funny eighty percent of the time. Which said the two I moved afford me. But now as a professional comedian. I think that's quite a good hit, right? One dollars two big Brisbane, which was so thrilled to be asked to do. It was a fantastic day. There was so many gorgeous drag queens, I felt disappointingly underwhelming Lee striked, and I'd been picked up from the port by a driver and with a car excitingly and. Sometimes when you do a corporate gig seem to car with a driver. And this time the driver had brought his wife with him, which you not supposed to do. But that was okay. Hello, frank. Hello, ruben. And they drop me off at the big yet. And they said we'll be just here to pick you up afterwards. And I did the gig. And I tried my hardest. It was crazy. And there was this loss of dancing everything. And then go back into the car the driver's wife went well, we could hear everything and we knew on stage. We could you is. So you know, what I'm supposed to be in the fucking car. What are you talking about? My husband is a very beautiful, man. He's very blunt show to new top Pisit smoke. What do you think of top? He said, it's nice. It makes you a bit pregnant. Which I replied does it. That's nice good to have had twenty minutes where out of it before I throw away. My grandmother was quite critical woman. She criticized me for being too clumsy for not eating enough. She told me I was too short my favorite to comments that she gave me one was it's wonderful. The appearance can still be proud of you. Wants back in my mid twenties. And I had platinum blond hair seen it for six months. And the first thing she said was they told me your hair was the same color as mine, but it's not it's he white. To term replied thence because all the guys I've been giving jobs to don't wash their hands. I didn't I didn't. But I had to do something to pull that beckons victory. I did twenty years ago. It was called Cal Wilson is the anti Christ. And it was about maybe born again teenager. I was born again Christian. I sold the lightness switch it off because it was wasting electrity. Things at the Lord's prayer. And I read Rochat using audience suggestions, and I got review that was so awful. It made me cry for a week like get up in the morning. I would remember the review, and I would just cry until it was time to go and state. I looked for this online today. I couldn't find it. It's not online. But I do remember some of the lines. Are remember the one paragraph ended something something something in descended into a hell where there are no laughs, which wasn't true? Other people were laughing except for this woman, and then she quoted a bunch of the beast audiences and seeds. Some of the punch lines were owned. It was absolutely vicious. It was a personal attack on me, and because the newspaper that she wrote it for was the sponsor of the comedy festival. They published a synopsis of the review if we day for the rest of the week. So and this was even more distilled vitriol, and like it was such an awful review. I had people stopping me on the street to go. What did you do to that review? A study showed going anyone seeing the review and even go. Oh, yes. And I don't know what to do to it must've accidentally fucked to husband. It was just destroyed me just killed me. And look I'm over it. Now, I realize that it was more bet who than it was about made heavy people don't try and stop someone from doing the thing that I love like she offered no strike of criticism. It was just tight down. And so was looking for the review online today. I was sort of disappointed half. Glad that I couldn't find it. And then I found optical written by the revere. Pasadena husband unexpectedly made redundant couple of years ago. And I didn't mind that at all. What I would do because great review. It's like don't get me wrong. And I also know that no kids bet reviews the review in the Pusan getting reviewed, and they're lovely review is a species the ones that have come into noise. So so I just six this review is that there are so lucky Greg with you, it doesn't necessarily give you great review. They should definitely critique the show, and you should know more about the show. Then what I thought of it. I was thinking had difficult. It would have been like the Judeo Christian. God had created the world. But had accidentally created a review of I like mega. That's what happened. So maybe he made the first man and then dropped before he was pulling dry. And then when you went to pick him up and sort of stood on the hit by the state by them, even though he pops the he'd been destroyed by blowing into the map, you know, the way you bottle ad again like. Glenn hit out again. But I still we'd creek in the back of the heat and all the noise sleep debt. Quite the yellow leaky out of a creamy. So that would be the first view and so. If head created the review, I review of the world might have gone this in the hands of another day. He will might have been created much more efficiently wanting to sit on a night. And but frankly, it's six days drag dog. The day of risk to the end. We could have done was an integral. Started reviewing God's animals like duck a waterproof him one-stop. Cirrus? With the unicorn cokely's. Could improve its appearance by giving skin that actually fits one-stop. She saw that self-propelling ecoboost. One-stop? Stuffing one's done. Viewing by reviewing things that aren't comedy as if they were comedy. So I thought maybe it'd be it'd be easy to review a chair rather than try to literally armchair critic. So I I would straight. Different sorts of reviews there. So the fame of us that admit the Boya, so they say something like or dislike to the chair. I am more into beanbags to its credit. The recipients loved the chair and could not stop sitting in it. Tug at timid graphic. But if you enjoy cheese, you will love this one. Supportive reviews. I've watched this cheer grow from a piece of ward. To play to a foot store and finally to the chills was meant to be. Look forward to next year's Shays loan. Reviews that take issue with the fact that the chair is a chair chair disappointed with its use of stock standard fully expect an honest to great to see a chair that goes way to hit eighty nine -letes. Use video and social media. The reviews that miss the point and Tali. This chair is a table. This could fit six people around this load hosted policy. Hotter. Next time chair. The current resentment review. I know a lot about cheese on bicycling cheer myself. On a bit of chip in the chair. I want to. I am angry that the chick. It's people can sip about all I can do is about. My kids still hurts from where all the yellow me down. Experienced Rubio who's been Sikora and because the proper review is a busy reviewing the risk of the two warehouse chicks, they notice good as I fell. Inexperienced review is who also prone to the spoil. It looks this chair. It was sitting on the highlight was the surprise bit. We're turns out the seat comes off the chair and turns into a cushion. Also, some great surprise cameos from other cheers, including secret ists, Antea, Sunfire and autumn. And then you hit the personal prejudice review. It chairs on funny. Talk about his periods. Wanted on the record that I am number of times tried to this conversation around too feminist. Critique. And if that didn't happen do not trust your tweets to me. Want any comments about the receipt in underage club in the nineties sharing that the? Shames miami. Obviously. Notice shames. Ashamed than you all about that. He's out there somewhere that guy. See? TV sometimes. On the basis that tick remedy. Things. Sorry. He doesn't recognize you till you like put your hand up faces. It might be only to him when you're under those disciplines the ones that turn everything what black black white or whatever it is that it does. Can you to this character? The only exit. I can do is supernanny which will sound. Oh this in. It'll be -fensive. It's this ship that you'll be is unacceptable. With. You get to be offensive to supernanny. Okay. Here's a piece of criticism. I rejected. I had somebody say I was doing like a mock restraining next sent someone wrote in and said, you're Antea strain. Richard is getting worse, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. You do you know what I said, I said. Both. I said postie I'm a citizen of Australian assistant Britain both Britain under strayed Lia developed nations who have rivalries neither of them as countries a marginalized if I were to be doing an accent in a strata of marginalized people that would be a problem, but the status between Australia and Britain is not one in which I there is modernized. There is a healthy back and forth. We do the ashes so this is like taking the piss out of a brother or sister. And therefore there is no oppression. And there is no power balance. So I think you'll find that you just have no sense of humor. Just these one fun because they're gonna hit that go upset. Now. I love you, whoever you want you trying to do a good thing. But. Okay. Okay. Good to me. What the only reason I know how to do accent? Because I've really fun to make say stuff that she wouldn't say like him. Old look him in the eye and give him some heroin. On Twitter, accurate failed comeback hunky take out Instagram dot com forward slash to feminists. Stop doing that. Carol. Doing grab it. Up to the list to get for it is new episodes release. I'm now Dick Van Dyke. Go to review and subscribe, it helps other people find the put gusts. Anything to plug pagoda. Yes. I am doing it. New stand up show that he's totally finished. Writing season three right now. The red one grits this usually people go the rate hit McGregor. The redhead all the nervous one the other way. Someone win wiz the red one. My time. But my stand up show is called old toke. I think if you'd like this you will like that. It's a lot of this stuff. It's toke because the rest of that saying is all talk, no action. Like, that's a bad thing. Like, oh, you're talking to action, but talk is my action that she's Tokyo. Hyping that talk is it important step on the way to action. So if you like to come to that very much appreciate we would love to come. Undoing much show find sites which is not. Fairly about what I would've called it twenty twenty. But then people would think it was about the twenty twenty hindsight cricket. Could hold of white trims. Outside. Can you do the show? Never forget it into my brain. Hounds outside pants. What he looks like because I exploded. That like into chain. Embarrassed to be with me, they tried to escape. So much naive teenager. Look because I was good Kristen goo at youth group sustain, and I was going out with a nineteen year old my parents, wouldn't let me leave the property because they were at outs and understood what was happening and that he was kissing. Meek would not on the porch one night and he had his hand on the side of my booth, and he was like rubbing his thumb on the side of my booth. And I was in my head going, hell embarrassing. He doesn't realize he's touching my booth. Some beautiful I ever see that. Plugging something hindsight is. The prison company festival. The Sydney comedy his full earth and mountain goes. Goes to do this which is out. Oh before I do that. There is a charity who is the char. See I'm here from Farage Enda fair agendas. An online community that campaigns for fit and equal feature for women with thirty seven thousand people strong and growing we use a collective people palate. A wind change on a whole bunch of different issues affecting women in the puffs, we've campaigned and helping additional funding for family violence services and stopped cuts to working parents time to kick the babies right now two things the first is sexual on university into in shit. Students and survivors also chew and the crew is action of abortion land. Just say somebody who love Queensland many years ago is a portion legal. It's still in the crimes act laws from eighteen ninety-nine still in force. But there's going to be light at the holidays on him state and design up to get involved in the campaigns, which he can do at fit agenda dot org. Thank you very much, by the way that was beautifully done. You have been listening to the county providence. Guess co host special. Let's keep this today to show -pring strating management to everyone of the multi. Listing. More information about this other episodes physicality providence. Thank you shy. We've read the guilty providence. Good. That we could it last time in Melbourne about self defense, which is so excited. I come out hasn't come out yet. But I'm so excited. Young silently young Melbourne city was totally sitting Sydney sorry. But when it comes down to. Well, it was going. So well kills it. So if I come back to mobile when he comes on anymore shows. No good Sydney bitch. You like okay with it. I didn't mind city every time. I go in my mind is just goes put your shirt back on. City's top yet cities walking around confident put it back on show. Some shame. Say. Speaking of criticism.