367 - Alice Roosevelt


You're listening to the dull up on the all things comedy network. Now, this is a buy American history podcast each week, solid emission I. Crank yankers. No more of lawns. Harry face guy. Dave Anthony reads a story from American history to his friend Gareth Reynolds, who has no idea what the topic is going to be about. Let's say some funny unity, something interesting intro, do something calibrating from crank yanking your awful at this. And called the vote is Jim. I'm the fucking guy. They've okay, Gary gear. And this is not gonna come early clod. Oh, yeah. Five part ca fishing. Now hit him with the puppy resent sick arguments. About action. Hi, candy, my friend. What's your name Garrett girth? Yanni upcoming. I'll be at the moon tower comedy festival in Austin, April twenty fifth through the twenty seventh. Until then I'll be Maxon relaxed. Don't say that ever again to anybody or meal as a life. There's nobody you should say that to the doll money tour. We're we got a show coming up on March sixteenth in Durham, North Carolina. The Carolina theory of Durham if you wanna to TicketMaster call the theater directly, Columbus, Ohio at the Davidson theater on March thirtieth, and then we'll be in Brooklyn on may eighteenth that show there's for show sold out. So we had a second show at ten thirty pm PM's in a piece. Thirty in the p pretty soon we'll have some special announcements coming up about live shows. I don't know what you're talking about won't. We. Any time. We are brought to you by squarespace, which is a space that is square. Squarespace is. Of course, as you guys know, it is website, huge gear core. Huge gear core. We're big fans, obviously because you have your website at my personal website was stand ups your stand ups, and then we do our we do our our sources we use age. He'll use it. God you're so angry. We use it. We get it. Look, squarespace is awesome. I I use it because I like the templates they look very clean and nice and they're easy to set up because I'm an idiot when it comes to stuff like this. Two of us. You don't know much. We can showcase you work. Can you blogs can sell products? They got twenty four seven award winning customer support free insecure hosting Milton. Search engine optimization cut by the Mets tons. It's everything. Yeah. So get on some squarespace is what I'm saying. Right. Yeah. I don't think that's what they would like you how they would like it up there. Actually, the slogan squares notes no way, so she got squarespacEcom for free trial. A when you're ready to launch us. The offer code dollop to save ten percent off your first purchase of a website or web site live site day. Aaron let's roll back take another one. Fun here. The blooper reel. Ten percent off your first purchase of a website. Man, you idiot that squarespacEcom enter code dollar, man. You're not helpful. I'm trying so hard. I just want people to like me. Oh, man. We are also sponsored by untuckit. Did. They are great shirts. Oh you. Yeah. But I was I'm into your wearing them. Yeah. We're on this weekend in Nashville where they don't recycle. Everyone why traditional button ups took so long look so long and baggy as because they were never meant to be warned that way untuckit shirts were specifically designed to be worn untucked untuckit is the brand you've been looking for. It's the regional untucked shirt, a modern solution to an old problem with no talking or tailoring required. No matter your size shape. The shirts are the perfect untucked length. I I was going to say I love them. Well, that's awesome. Yeah. They're great. Yeah. I mean. Yeah, it was like a thing. I didn't know I needed help it. That's right. And then I was like, oh, you're not supposed to walk around like like, it's a ninety sleeping over at like a pitchers house. You wear. He goes jersey. That's not supposed to look. Yeah. So they're great. They have more than fifty fit combinations. Look great on tall short slim athletic guys of all ages wherever on athletic, guys and non. On the more roundish leading. But it looks good. It's a shirt, you know, I have a problem with shirts because the Bubis. Oh, man. Little ads sites today. So they look good. So try try it on in person at one of untuckit s- fifty stores or go to unattended dot com to get started. They offer free shipping and returns on all orders in the US. You can save twenty percent off on your first order by using our code dollop at checkout. That's untuckit dot com. Promo code dollop. And we are also sponsored by ritual, which of course, is a vitamin for ladies. Yeah. Look, we all want to do the right thing to keep our bodies healthy in the long. Well, we'll most of us even if we try really hard to eat kale salads and drink green smoothies were still most likely not getting all these sensual nutrients, we need on a daily basis enter ritual the obsessively research vitamin for women. Rituals essentials have the nutrients most of us don't get enough of from food all in their clean absorbable forms. No shady additives are ingredients they can do. More harm to your body. Then good take too easy to take capsules they provide nine entrance. You need to support a strong foundation for your health. Like, I said I've said this before me, and my wife, we're trying to make a another human. We were doing it with the sex stuff. And then, you know, you want to keep your body clean at that point. You know what I'm talking about? And and so, but she was being put on vitamins, but you don't know what's in them. Right. So it could be anything because they don't keep track of that. But ritual totally transparent. They tell you everything that's in the vitamins. Surprisingly, that's the thing. That matters. I know it's it's right. It should be thing that you should know. But but they literally Congress's like that doesn't matter what you gets a little grainy. It's at a little plastic thing. Boom, eat it. So so for obsessive label readers all rituals vegan friendly sugar-free, non GMO gluten free and allergen free ingredients and their sources are out there for everybody to see better health doesn't happen overnight help fill the gaps with your diet with essential for women. A small step that helps support a healthy foundation for your body. Visit ritual dot com slash dollop to start your ritual today. That's ritual dot com slash dollop. And of course, we are sponsored by hellofresh. Hellofresh is a food delivery service, which we now use everything that comes in their bags is recyclable nudge Nashville though in Nashville, you can just throw it on the street. You got some issues Nashville. What is just how about a recycling bin? I get it. Hellofresh mix. Conquering the kitchen a reality with deliciously simple recipes cooking is enjoyable and easy with hellofresh. Fresh premeasured ingredients and easy to follow. Six. Step pictured recipe. Cards are delivered to your door each week in a special insulated box. Great vegetarian options, I should say all meals. Yes. All meals come together and thirty minutes, max, call for less than two pots, and pans, and require minimal cleanup get out of that recipe rut and start cooking outside of your comfort zone by discovering new delicious recipes I'll we we made the wife made a little pork situation tonight as that and a you infer with insinuating sweet potatoes. Okay. And and also that was great. And then. For that. We made chicken parmesan. I had forgotten all about it. But it was done it. Yeah. So anyway, we really like it. It tastes really good better than other places for eighty dollars off. That's twenty dollars off your first four bucks. Just go to hellofresh dot com slash dollop, eighty and enter promo code dollop eighty. That's hellofresh dot com slash eighty and enter promo code dollop, eighty for twenty dollars off your first four boxes, we should point out that we recording. This the all things comedy studio. And they have an all things comedy YouTube page where you can watch any of the video uploads of this. And you can also check out the work of an all things comedy brother, who we lost recently named Steven Brody Stevens who is someone if you're not familiar with is worth checking out his up and his show that was on all things comedy or his other show. I think it was enjoy it. But it was a very unique comedian. Yeah. So someone who everybody in the comedy world was he was beloved by everybody who's I think if he could see the outpouring of affection that he has caused. He would probably be surprised on like all of us. Yeah. Okay. Downer. Yeah. Well, but as a Downer it's tough man that was a tough one. It was it's been a tough year. Agreed February twelfth eighteen you can still. Yeah. I feel come on go come on February Charles they four we're back not really eighteen eighty four H and eighty four. Okay. Our lord. Yeah. The eighties. They even said it like that like eight minutes, the eighties grip your teeth that it's the eighty that's not knowing their teeth out. Oh, you start. This story. Alice Lee Roosevelt was born her father was Theodore Roosevelt, junior known as teddy. Okay, jedi. Went to Harvard where he met Alice Hathaway Lee in eighteen seventy eight she was a Boston banking, Harris Harris. They were introduced by a classmate of her cousin Richard middle. Cock dick salt still. Okay. Dave, I that that is the best one. I wasn't what is it? He has nothing to do with the story. But the navy everything to do with the story. He's the main character of the story. Richard middle cost of first of all Richard is dick dick middlekauff, and that will they call him, dick. So Richard middle. Cock dick salt stole salts. So he's that sounds like what happens to your penis in a deprivation tank. I just put his name in there because this is how rich people name their kids. It's good. Not a good system. It's a great system bad system. Yeah. So teddy and Alice married two years later teddy went to Columbia law school. They're all up in the New York society world teddy ran because obviously teddy Roosevelt. So sure teddy ran for New York state assembly, and he won. He's big on taking down corruption jam Alison teddy bought a large home and planned to have a large family. Okay. It's all it's all great. Yeah. For sure. It's all yeah. No. So Alice Lee Roosevelt Longworth was born. Born at home on west fifty seventh street on a regular apartment birth. Yeah. It's just what you did better. Yeah. Water birth two days later, teddy was in Albany when he received a telegram, his mother's health was fading. Okay. She she. She was in the house that the baby's born. And I don't know if she lived there. She was just staying there. But she was there in the house. Okay. So he receives message that so he's his mother who's in the house. Okay, baby. And his mom, right? So teddy Russia's home. He doesn't rush home for the baby. I'm not sure if he made his babies being born. But he's like let that happen. Then like your mom sick. He's like, oh, I gotta go. I gotta go. I mean who knows back then what it was like, but I would imagine that he was there for the birth. And then he went back to Albany. And then he got this. Call four thirty. You gotta hit it. Yeah. You gotta hit four thirty. So. He rushes home and his brother Elliott opens up the door when he gets there and Elliot said, quote, there is a curse on this house. So Elliott, that's bad. That's bad if anybody dark opener if you if. Yeah. That's the first thing someone says to you, then you Hello. There's a curse upon this house dude on this house. Okay. You're a fucking occurs on this house. You're a bummer. We have ghosts say Hello. Hello. We're dying in here now because there's incurs you're not dying. You're just saying shit. Come on in high take off your shoes. Please. Okay. My shoes are off. There's a curse upon your back. Doc fool. I'm a devil. Turns out Teddy's mother she's burning up with fever. She has typhoid. Okay. That's not. That's not. Meanwhile, upstairs Alice he goes up to see her. She barely recognizes teddy because she had an undiagnosed case of Bright's disease, which is kidney kidney disease. So she'd been living with for a while. But the pregnancy made it worse so kicked in acute now. Teddy's mother died at three AM and Alice died eleven hours late. Oh my God. Bam. Bam. Wow. Yeah. Okay show. I think I'm starting to see Elliot side of this a little bit shit. Yeah. Point kind of occurs time, Elliot, how did you know? And then you're walking around like shut that baby up who hill. Teddy ten he was just twenty five years old. Oh, wow. And he lost his mom and wife on the same day. So he's in saying the with his wife he had fill pages of his dire about how much daughter which I don't a little much. Yeah. Take it easy. No Seattle down. We get it. You think someone's going need it because that's the thing in five years. She's going to be like, you know, used to always right in your diary about me. I still love you. I right. You know, the houses cursed one reason, I know this is your dead. On this day. He just wrote a large black X in the diary. So if you're seeing that you're sort of like what Ted he's not doing great. And the only thing you wrote was the light has gone out of my life. Sure. And then I soon he drew a little light bulb and then a slash through it. And then and then he went. Teddy. Okay. And their bud ten he would never speak his wife's name again. So he was he didn't need therapy. Anything? He was fine. No, he's at all. Now. This is also weird that he didn't speak his wife's name again because they named their daughter Alice. Now is there now what is that hard to make is it time for a name change rather than just know much of a name. That was an idea. You had. Yeah. Change the they didn't do that. No. So then just like you. Just like you. Well, we're locked in. You. You you bang baby lady baseball eighty baby little baby lady. So obviously that's weird. Yeah. Not only did he not speak her name again. But he would not allow anyone else in his presence to speak. His wife's damning taking on a real sort of Scientology five now where it's not great. No. Did he tell the friend the way to survive? Was to keep the pain buried deep inside. As literally is saying what? Now, we use. As like the stereotype things you're not supposed to do. You know, the key is buried deep inside yourself and wait for an occasion when you could explode. And then go to Africa and kill animal. Take it out on Tigers. Right. So keep the pain buried deep inside as possible or it will destroy you. That is actually that's right. That's the way to grieve. Obviously, this is not a widely held psychological to anyway. That's how a little league came into the world. She would be called baby Lee, cool double funerals held and Alice Lee was and the day after. Oh, jeez. So they didn't they couldn't switch the fucking name up. Yeah. She hasn't been. Yes. Baby Li like baby driver, which was baby driver yet at the end of H eighty four teddy decided to get out of politics. He's a rough. Well, what's going on? So he bails he had bought two ranches in North Dakota after you'd gone there. Previously to hunt buffalo so in his grief. He he made for the ranches which are in the isolated badlands of North Dakota. He leaves baby leave behind also known as Alice. So what's the plan? Well, he has a sister share that is taking care of her. Okay. So he's just living in North Dakota. North Dakota teddy is a bad ass. Okay. He is. He's out there hunting Buffalo's. Okay. And other animals. There is. No, yeah. That looks like a man is dealt with is inside demons. He gets a job as sheriff. Okay. He's always arrest in thieves. He's going on month-long round ups. Like, he's just a totally different. On anything. But the death of his wife and mother he'd beat up a gunfighter Slough. He's just take that Alice. And that Alice you left me, my name's Jim. Why did you go? I love you. Bro from bro bag. Hey, hey, my name's Jeff right now. You're kissing me. In a in a saloon. No. We shouldn't. No, we're not going to give in. Okay. All right. Just once. Nah. Nah. Nah. Missed you. Did you finish? Your inside. We're in a saloon. Good to see a babe. Great president. Thank you. Well, I've ever get over this. We're gonna live so happy together here Alice. My name's Jeff how less and us is my wife some live again. And I. Oregon, and we're together and you for sure Alice, I'm Jeff. Teddy's becoming the bad ass that everyone knows Rosa. This is the origin stone. Yeah. Basically he's still kit for Alice in one eight hundred eighty four letter. He wrote, quote, I hope mousy kipnes will be very cunning. I shall dearly. Love her dude, honest. I mean, baby Lee was tough change the name change the name mousy. Yeah. It's weird. It's fucked. I would never expect that to come out of teddy Roosevelt, whereas mousy king is my water shoot mousy kids at this. The man who kills and religiously mouse Akins. So Alison is being raised by Teddy's sister, Anna in New York. And it was also known as by which is a nickname. She got because she was always on the move. It was short for high Anna by Anna nicknames. Really good. Nice family. They're gonna get so Alice called her antibi- K antibi- should very strong intelligent, independent woman with a huge influence on Alice. And she also had a hump. She had a hump like the one on the Bank like the Quasimodo. Okay. So she has hope. Sure. She's your classic humped Roosevelt. Cher. She's just got a hump under names by. So continued Dave ready to this tale. She's in her late twenties and not married which could have something to do with the home. Oh, come on. You gotta get on hump meat. She took very I you missing other people with humps in your area. It's like farmers meat. Farmers dot com. Meet. It was great me. Cheerful trumper. So, but she took very good care about us. Sure. Teddy would sometimes make brief visits when he came back for work when he did he would spend time with baby Lee, you mean, Maoz, Eakins or Alice, whatever her name, not seeking mousy can thank you in June eighteen eighty six teddy returned. So I guess he's over his grief. Now comes back to New York. I think he's not. It's not that. He's over it. He's just buried deep. Yeah. That now I can never get you need a treasure map to get to the demons. He finishes building house. He'd started before his wife. Died becomes Alice's fulltime data again. Okay. So teddy has previously had a relationship with a woman named so that's our our little girl. Now. That's Massey cans as I love it. He's present he previously had a relationship with a woman in Edith, Carol. They grew up next door to each other. Everyone thought they going to get married. He did ask her to marry him twice. But Teddy's father and eighty s grandfather were against the marriage because of potential physical disabilities. They both thought the other family had I think that is something to do with the hump. So the grandpa was like, we ain't having hub kids. That's right. I think that's exactly on Evan hung chin. And who knows what was happening on either side of the family. Yeah. Clearly, there was something. So teddy. Gene, skips a generation baldness something like. Oh my God. If your grandpa had a hump, then you won't have one. No, then you ever hump, but your dad won't have a hump, right? I like I like talking to people that are not you. I've got a lot of hump chewing. Anyway, teddy I'm back. So the teddy went onto Mary Alice, and then obviously that didn't work out. So now rekindles is relationship with Edith. Okay. Okay. Yeah. So you use back in the picture. She is a hot, mama. All right. It starts. Just looks like a nightmare to be to dress. Like a woman back then is a nightmare goes like she's got a collar on. Yeah. It goes all the way up to the top. It's like her head is on God. Fick? All right. Well, let me put on my sleeping bag dress and go out for the day. It's just like you were forced to wear a snuggie all the time. They're hot. They get hot and heavy quick. He proposes. She says, yes, where's grandpa? He's passed on. I guess. Yeah. I guess that's all over now. So they get married at the beach and eighty six. So Alice's life is obviously about to change again, not seeking Mexicans so Edith and teddy move to always debate Long Island Alice or baby Lee moved in with them Edith apparently had a problem with the fact that teddy had a child with someone else. And now the kid was living with them is this not the sort of stuff that you may be talk about in the courting process. Well, no, I don't I think that we're is it just like you have an unveiling where you like I have a daughter. I think he doesn't care. He doesn't care. What I think he doesn't care that she's upset about. Alice. Okay. And and also the first Alice his wife was super hot. Okay. And I think that's also. So what she feels like she's in the shadows. A little bit jealousy going on here. Okay. So I mean, Ted he's just like, well, if you feel bad just bury your feelings deep down here. Oregon deep. So they start cranking out babies teddy into they would end up having five kids. Okay. Are you fucking right, right? Yeah. Yeah. Stop now. So what do they call Alice because she's no longer a baby, right? And there's five other kids their kitties. So so they picked a great name to call her. Sister. Okay sister. Sure. So right now, she's just an extra in her own life remarkably generic. Yeah. Todd. They come up with that. Is that a family name? By the way. That's that's a that's the first mom. Oh, that's OG J. So. Guess so they call her sister. Which is I can't think of like how about a fucking nickname of some kind of a name. What about Lee that's her? Yeah. Really? Yeah. Sisters the most generic horrible your not here. You would also that's like something that you would like you'd hear back then people would be like sister. She turned on the gas like no, my actual sister. What's your name sister? Yes. So this created a feeling of shame that was related to her name and probably wasn't great for building self esteem. Cool Edith didn't hide her feelings about Alice's dead mother. Edith called Alice and insipid childlike fool in front of. Her daughter cool once during a fight es told Alice that if her mother had lived, she would have board teddy to death. Scrapes the. Shoe chill bills, invented you. Eat is fucking monster. Rude. Yeah. Super super rude. As Alice grew up, it became clear, she was going to be very attractive, like her mom. Okay. This probably didn't help the situation with Edith and the tension built between is this story of Cinderella. Yeah. Okay. Edith was a strict Episcopalian with a quote, cold and detached insistence on standards of conduct. So she was a Piscopo. Ian. She insisted AL's call her mother. But Alice would later write quote, she had almost a gift for making her own people uncomfortable Alice had a gift for making Edith had a comfortable. But she was forcing Alice to call her mother. She's sister. Yeah. Yeah. Look we're in a play where we haven't named the characters yet. Teddy was also pretty emotionally distant from Alice possible because her name was Alastair, and he was usually absent and working on his political career. He would write letters to the kids and in them, he discussed the other children like you read a letter to one kid and talk about all the other kids, but he'd never mentioned Alice, except when he wrote letters to Ted junior was the only one he talked about Alice with okay at one point Alison teddy had a fight about never speaking her mother's name, which was obviously her name too. So so she was aware of it. And she's like weird. Yeah. This is fucked. It's my talking about my mom, and my name else was also surprised to learn that Edith was quote, not Papa sister that Edith was not Papa sister. Yeah. Wait was prized to learn that Edith was not Papa sister pretty young at that point. I would assume. So so she when they were married she thought that teddy and Edith were brother and sister and having five children, maybe should know how stuff works. But again also a lot of cousins married back then and just simpler time a simpler time when you could just go to a family, lunch and emir soulmate. You know? No one was awful limits. Made it a lot easier. When you grew up with your wife. That's right. Back to simpler times man, trumpet Alice felt that teddy saw her has as a quote guilty burden. Okay. What would that come from? Did. She have senses. And this just reinforce the decision to never speak that mouse, even once teddy never realized this was creating resentment analysis. Well, clearly, he's very, psychologically minded. Yes. Clearly, he's a man who knows how to get into the emotions. That's right. So this mixture orphaned child who felt responsible for mother's death, given the same name that was never spoken angry about being left by father created a rebellious child picking imagine. Yeah. Journal nineteen no three. She wrote quote father doesn't care for me that is to say one eight as much as he does the other children. We are not in the least congenial. And if I don't care over much for him and don't take interest in the things he likes why she pay any attention to me or the things I live for except to look on them with disapproval. So things are good. Okay. Hold is. She there. She's so she's born in eighty four so three. So she's you know, she's a team is nineteen right? Yeah. I might have jumped on that one. So so Alice had to learn about her mother from relatives. So because he never talked about it didn't exist. The only she would occasionally go visit her mom's parents, and they would we love to talk about Alice. We don't talk about her either. Julie. Granddaughter. And it's up off Alice thought teddy loved the four children he had with Edith more als- also wore braces child, which she called quote, a medieval instrument of torture. Well, I mean, they're just trying to trying to help. Braces them not not now. Yeah. It's like one of the. Like a race or some kind of brace like that. Yeah. Oh, she had hunch prevention, she. I get it. I get you HP. Because a magic braces then. I. Alice related describing herself during these years as quote stodgy too shy rather chunky and not a little cowardly a shy uncomfortable child. Not very bright and lethargic. Okay. She's describing herself like, okay. So she's sure self-diagnosis so she's very unhappy child and that meant she spent time fantasizing. Quote, I would spend hours of time pretending I was able to it will turn into something quite different such as a Princess with very long hair or an extremely Marshall prints. It's nice teddy joined up to fight in the war against Spain. Which made him that made him famous right after he became governor of New York Alice was now under teens and become very independent and outgoing. Okay. Edith couldn't handle her. So they decided to send her to school for girls in New York City Alice was not down. Quote, I'd seen his Spencer scholars marching two by two in their daily walks and thought of becoming one shriveled me fair to that's a good use of word number one. Yeah. And that's a guest it anti. She wrote. Teddy quote, if you send me, I will humiliate you. I will do something that will shame. You. I tell you. I will. That's. You read that like? Letter from your daughter. Okay. I guess I just said our things. Our things if you do this. I will crush you father. Here's me the hunter is the hunt. Did what I have your head on my wall. Daddy. Sony, boarding schools off at that point. That's a good. I get you know, was not impressed with Alice writing friend that she quote cares. Neither for athletics nor good works K. And she had quote, the habit of running the streets. Uncontrolled with every boy in town. All right. We'll watch how right? She also said not do anything unless she was made to Alice was sent back to live with her aunt on or aunt by a bright by with the Hello hump anti hump and a hump by an hump by. So this time in America woman's goal was marriage. Sure. I mean, not probably not women's go. But this society skull for women. I would imagine not all women were like my goal is getting married. They were like my goal is to not be beaten. So I'll do what you people say. So for that to happen her behavior needed to be beyond report reproach right to get right? But because of the way Alice have been raised Alice felt she can never trust a man to love her. So she acted like a woman whose goal was not to get married. Hey. She was impetuous stubborn and insensitive. This is very unique for woman at the time. Imagine personality right dish. It should be around. So especially in high society, this is rare gossip magazines began writing about Alice when she was sixteen. Okay. She's like Perez Hilton a little bit. Yeah. A little bit in eighteen ninety nine the vice president died of a heart attack and teddy became vice president. Okay, Alice moved to Washington, which greatly increased her profile. Sure. But our behavior at the inauguration in one thousand nine one did not impress. Teddy Alice thought the Roosevelt's were superior to the mckinlay's McKinley. And she thought being a VP was quote second place. Interesting. She referred to president McKinley as quote, a usurping Kuku. Wow. So teddy didn't like that. Right. Need monitor bit on September. Six nineteen o one president McKinley was shot by an anarchist faster. This is okay. Sorry. We're I think we're pro pro. I don't know. I don't know what we are anymore. He died eight days later. Okay. Sweetie days offering share sure teddy became president AL's rejoice that our father was finally taking his rightful place as president. She described it as quote sheer rapture. So she's not as set about the shooting as you would think. No, she's excited to get in the like top spot. Yeah. She's in. So now, she's like likes the fact that she kind of likes her data little bit that he's the president was much more pop. Right. But I mean, if your dad becomes the president. Then you automate you like dad became president you've meant fences. Yeah. Yeah. For sure you would you want to go to the White House? Right. You want to try to meet low what's going on there and pick up the red phone? You know what? I mean, Batman phones. There's no phones. There's no phones. Well, there's a thing. There's like the Morris pick up the read more system just type BAT Ray and Moore's system. Yeah. Whatever they had like the emergency. Moore's fucking hit your BBB. The bird Flintstones to that. Okay. Not so. So she moves into the White House at seventeen years old. That's just great. This. Movie plot? She media became a celebrity. She may have been the nineteen hundreds I global celebrity K on January fourth nineteen Ninety-two Alice made her debut to the world. So it's debutante ball. Sure. She was a labeled the White House debutante teddy kept out of the limelight that evening Edith handle the receiving line and presented Alice to society. Here is this embarrassing fucking shit little asshole whose name we won't say. I don't wear. Good dirty. Fuck head v the best out of five. Her name is thing thing. One everyone give it up. My mom died. She is. Newspapers covered it that. It did talked about her dress the music, you know, the whole thing all described the media always focused on the right things. Always saying a month later frame went international wind she christened yacht that belong to Kaiser Wilno will helm up Germany, the yacht. Was Kristen the media would be an honor. If you would come down and B's vonda breaks champagne upon the media. You new it girl. Do you know that I just don't? Don't expression different because they're sent his cousin. Okay. Prince Henry of Prussia to accompany Alice and sure relations between America and Germany is sounding very similar situation. Now. Would you know, you know, about Kaiser Wilhelm's probably the closest thing that has ever been to Trump. I wish I was kidding. Oh, I didn't put the picture in here of them. Is that the right one what a different one than you before too? But I had a picture of Kaiser. Yeah. That's a bummer. All right. You can look them up. Yeah. Yeah. Good photo there. Look ridiculous. Okay. So anyway, sorry prince Henry, so he accompanies Alice short relationship new American Journey house broke abolish and pain over the bow newspapers record it all including how many times the prince touched Alice's. Oh, sure. Right and keep the arm count. Yeah. Alice love the publicity the times noted that she seemed above it, all quote, she seemed to look upon the whole affair as a lark. So she's kinda cool. She's at sounds like. Yeah. Right. It is like I mean when you play the media like that he you are cool. Right. When you're above it. Whereas most people would be like oh super into. And she's like this is fucking stupid. Right. She thinks stupid. We love our more. Right. We're the media. So she's grown up not giving shit. Yeah. Because of what happened to and now she's like this is all fucking, right? And so she's like cool. The press began speculating that the president was going to marry off his daughter to a European the monarchy, okay? The Tribune, quote, she has become one of the most regarded women in the world replacing the young Queen of Holland in popular favor. That's cool that their ranking women. Well, we don't do that anymore though. No more or no list, or whatever. Yeah. So the quote unspoiled the woman was nicknamed prince Alice by the papers. Because she did this thing with prince Henry, and they hit it off. And she little he touched her eight times eight times, it's pretty hot armed count and welcome to gossip dish. And then because he's a prince because she she made a big splash this thing they start calling Princess Princess. Okay. Princeton's Alice, and it stuck okay, immediately after the christening, the owner of the New York Tribune invited Alice to Edward the eighth coronation in England that's the hot ticket. That's the fucking shit right there who Edward the eight eight eight eight eight eight eight eight eight I'm trying to buy weed his coronation. Yeah. He's the corner of right, right? That's the ceremony present you the new man who will be diagnosing how someone past he's gonna come king. Just like Simba the Simba. Now. I get okay now. We're okay now, we're getting it. So he sees pop in the clouds and his dad sort of emerges from the clouds, and he's like you must keep fighting. It you exactly that's how it become king fucking scar. Okay. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Thing insisted on treating her like she was a Princess so word gets over that she's going to come. And they're all flutter about the this is just works. This is like the mega Myrtle story. Yeah. Across the United States people debated whether or not she should be allowed to view the coronation with the rest of royalties. So now they're talking about if she goes where she will sit because she's being treated as royalties. Well, she's going to sit with the Royal family. Like, what's the media named Princess? So she's got a monarchy now. Yeah. Now, she's basically, right? She's anointed. Meanwhile, in Europe, they were saying she was deserving of quote, the honors due to the oldest daughter of an emperor. Okay. So they're all on board in Europe. Right. But some of the the press in the US found this all to be unseemly. Because of course, we are the ones who fought against monarchy. The. Yeah. We're also one thing named her Princess. Yeah. And we're the ones who elevated her status, you're your this is fucking bullshit. While you're doing what I'm doing is calling out the. Media again asshole. The media accused Alison having undemocratic aspirations. Yeah. She wants to be Queen or some shit. Yeah. Right. Yeah. Ever dare sheet that your Byun road Alice should be treated as more than a normal American Girl visiting London, but not much more and not as much as royalty. And they said the treatment of the press in America the way they're treating her was bad right quote. I have never seen so brutally want in unjustifiable a series of misrepresentations falsehoods about a young girl resorted to before in the history of newspaper discussion in this country in an effort to make a political point. That's gone. It was decided you would not go. She didn't even go. No over all the discussion before she got pathetically bridges to climb. Everyone went bug. Fuck. Yeah. Because she's this huge celebrity now. So as a consolation prize teddy sent Alice on a trip to Cuba instead. Oh, well, okay, better. Yeah. I would say better fucking better absolately better. She's been a month and Vanna when she came back. The press followed her every move when she Joe forty five miles from Newport to Boston with a friend it made headlines because they were the only women to make the trip and a car. It's just so weird, isn't it? Yeah. It's like it's the fact that two women driving in a car is grain. Well, also, we live in a post Thelma and Louise era. So it's easy to look at that now, but. It's amazing to think that like two women driving car is crazy. And then because she did it. It's like, oh my God. Holy shit, rebel, rebel. There were constant reports that she was about to get married whenever she was seen with a man, none of which were true. So she's like JFK junior. Totally right. Historian, quote, all Edith and teddy needed to do to know what else have been up to the night before was to open the morning paper. So she's just surely weeded felt really cool about that. She was like this is what I wanted. So I was so popular she would often appear on the front page and legitimate important is was pushed to the back pages. I'm sorry. I just sometimes get caught up in these comparative mindsets. And I just I can't imagine today. The media foregoing actual important things dialogues that are pressing say that need to be discussed immediately Nashville, and and letting that go by the wayside just for something. That's going to sell the rack. Yeah. It's just. Don't know. I don't know. And I think that if we had that system today, we would really be fucked things would really be bad because people would not be able to get the information that was valuable instead of having someone to kind of distill the importance of what was happening and explain the nuance. We would just kind of be caught up in what's shiniest, and what's dumbest, and what's freshest, and what's most scandalous. And I think that that would probably create a culture where people would find wedge issues that they would just become obsessed with and it would kind of drive a large large chasm between us and the distance would only spread further and further the more that we were made to feel like we didn't have things in common as much as we had everything to fight against each other about when in reality, we'd probably agree on seventy eight percent of the shit. I just think it would be weird. Oh, sorry. I was thinking about remember jail. Yeah. From sticky jail from the but then I saw picture them today. So I was thinking about that. Yeah. No. They are they remain friends friends, and it's pretty cool. Untouched by needles. I mean, that's yeah. So I just think that kind of stuff you shouldn't throw away. I mean, that's important Baystate. Brent? Oh, you're sorry. So while you're focusing on your focusing on the important news of J. Wow. And smokey. I don't know if it's important. I just think human. Yeah. I think there's more important stories to focus on don't you think? Like, the whole thing would lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper like that. Like, it's kind of a more important. Yeah. Like everything that happened there. Like sure there's a lot of issues and stuff, but I just think the chemistry between them and for them to have that performance in front of Bradley's girlfriend or fiancee's. I'm not sure what she is. But. That's always talking about a week. Yeah. By the way, ocean life down four percent or president hug deflecting. How long until the inserts himself into it in front of people, and they're like better better. But also enjoy it all this attention. She started phoning in tips about yourself paid cash for the she is the first savvy like she's the first. Media using the media tour advantage, and they don't know. That's right right Alice smoked publicly which was not highly thought of for young lady the time. It's disgusting. Teddy forbid her from smoking in the White House, and she responded by going up to the roof and smoking, they're better better better so much better. That's what Willie Nelson teddy wrote a letter to Ted junior. Quote, sister sister, still I'm sticking with. It says sister is now seventeen this Christmas. I'm going to get you name. He's. Sister continues to lead the line to star after you sister. Sister continues to lead the life of social excitement, which is I think all right for girl to lead for a year or two, but which upon my word, I do not regard as healthy from the standpoint of permanence. I wish she had some pronounce serious aced. He noted she had a habit of dancing all night and then not getting up until well past noon. Should you be jealous? She's seventy Ellis. She's doing what she's supposed jealous. In nineteen three Alice meant to Puerto Rico for mardi gras. Did. This is just. This existence when she left one hundred people, including policemen. Detectives and secret servicemen were on the peer to see her off detective the I know right? A little bit of a creepy. Send up goodbye Alice. We'll all be waiting for. When you come back. We will got hang. Okay. Bye. By nets make the boat. Move mace. I'm going to duck down. Say you Jesus. Sheet over myself under for being a bad girl. We got a nightmare. On the island. The Tribune wrote quote, her stay in San Juan was a continual ordination and our trip across the island was like a Royal progress. That's like when Trump went there must be processed. That must be what could be progress. Yes. So she is wherever she goes. She's being treated like a Princess, right? Her behavior in Puerto Rico, please teddy. And when she returned he gave into her please and bought her a car. Okay. And you can smoke in your room. She got a long red touring car and immediately began racing it down the streets of DC and getting tickets. Okay. Yeah. But the cops are like oh sorry. I didn't realize it was going on the German naval yacht. The Alice Roosevelt was completed in the crew asked say that they were. Oh, so so the the German navy has the feted Wilhelm was so excited by her christening. Just how popular she was that he decided to name a German German navy yacht Alice Roosevelt is very specific. So the als roller is teddy called it sister boat the throws been built and then the crew asked her for a picture, which she provided. So they can keep. You to get a naval vote named after her is to picture the Google. She likes it. She's hot. I mean, she likes his poise. I think we have a shot. She looks like. Yeah. Again, it's a little hard to tell because there's so much stuff going on the head. I mean, look how high up the caller thing. The whole thing is nuts. It's just like it, really. Is it looks like your clothes were eating you. Yeah. Looks like a snake is halfway through devouring you, but you had to wear it out. And the hats are just okay. So basically had to wear a cake on your head. And then just be swallowed by your dress. Alice now started riding in cars with men without showing up road. Oh, dave. Do that. She's got a Gumbo. Grumble grumble grumble room. She's with for John. Oh, no. So this is completely unheard of. Also, we're ending the Victorian area era is ending. So like women are like vets fucked up. Can I be more of a person? Right. So. She also were pants which we've learned on. Not unacceptable. If you're she chewed gum. My aunt not while wearing pants because the to combine my Lord she played poker. This is all very shocking to the public, but young women enthrall. Of course, young women were like, this is the fucking you having out you have a trailblazer. Everybody in the country knew about her large and expensive wardrobe when teddy took her car way for speeding AL's would just borrow her friend, Marguerite cassini's car, okay, is a rich. Russian. Do you have a dark picture? She's. Wow. That's a word. No. Yes. Okay. She she's rushing choose illegitimate child. But then. The guy follower to deal with the soc. They actually why they connected a little they. Yeah, they have like a prison born into and let's have a little fun. That's right, there background is kind of similar. So she's also a party girl. Eleanor Roosevelt was was cousin did not get along at all. Okay. She told her fiance FDR that Alice was quote, looking well but crazier than ever I saw her this morning combo. I saw this morning in Bobby Galets auto quite along with three other men. Uh-huh. Okay. So that's bad to be in a car with four dude time Alice drank gin. She went and watched the Wright brothers make their trial flights in her purse. She kept a dagger and a copy of the constitution. So she's a little allow Jones e certainly. My dad does Jefferies does whatever. Room. Rumors began that house was going to the race track often. But the family was suppressing the pictures her life is dining awesome. She's fucking doing vacations, right? So all this is going on teddy was in New York on business. So she was sent to New York to get a lecture from teddy about getting your shit together. Right. But I've decided to be a father. Good time you need to get your act to gather. Now, I would call you by your names and baby don't have one. I'm so mad. I'm gonna call you by your full name, Princess, baby. Lee mousy Kins. Apparently, it didn't take because when she got back a headline announce she'd been seen at the track, quote, she is as much an attraction as the thoroughbreds her family family. Fred said, she was quote, like a young wild animal that has been put into goody might killer. We're not careful like a young wild animal that has been put into good clothes. Okay. Okay. So she's a teen wolf this is in the car. Look at the nightmare life. You have with driving a car with those neck by the end of the day. I mean, it's just crazy. Yeah. And it looks ridiculous that bird on it. Get an aloe on their year. Weirdos. And a percent. Maine nineteen o four. She went to the Louisiana purchase exposition where she was met by cheering crowd of thousands people wanted to catch a glimpse of the Princess so badly that they almost crushed her against her carriage. That's about to Lenny with the bunnies. Her. I love her though, much that we're gonna crush up against the wall. Now are men on board with this are they I would imagine them to be. I would imagine mentor threatened. This is mostly young girl. Right. She's she's breaking the fucking mole. Yeah. She's the she's a big fucking deal. Right. Quote language, by the way, really face. My mother might listen, she won't Shimon your. New York Times. Quote, miss Roosevelt found herself in the presence of a crowd of five thousand chiefly women all all shrieking there. She is and Harare for miss Roosevelt. Let me bring back her raw. Yeah. I row is good. We also know I want that's what I want people to yell at our live show. Yeah. I I'm going to start doing three cheers in rooms. Now too. Here's a magic being at a time. When you said three cheers for stuff for David. As Roosevelt's party reached their carriage, the women burst the ineffective police berry and a flood of femininity swirled about the carriage. They were all trying to appear over each other's heads. And most of them were horizon. Yeah. Well, would the hat. It must have been really hard. Does see as each other? Did you hear my Harare previously? Only. Great women of the theatre had brought out such crowds a high-society teen getting this treatment was completely unheard of. But Alice's breaking the model for young women Alice, postcards, became big sellers. So so postcards all over the place of her, right? And that's a big deal back. Then I guess I'm sure it it's got to be be it had to be in some pockets of my family, postcards, are still a big deal. So I mean think about that like when I was a kid like people, buy, postcards, and it'd be like the end is the people writing. Threatening to do that. Then it was probably like this crazy. Yeah. Thing you can ride on with a picture on. I got it. It's vallis. Oh, yes. The future. So young women wanted clothes of Alice's favorite color, which was a gray blue, which became known as Alice blue. Millions of American girls on the cusp of the new woman movement emulated, everything she said and did K songs were written about her like Alice, blue, gown and Alice Where Art Thou babies were named after her like human never called sister. This is baby. Baby Lee is baby baby Lee. So Alison kept doing her thing. She fired off cap guns at parties, she danced a midnight hoochie coochie on the Vanderbilt roof. Does that even mean, I don't know what the hoochie coochie is? Erin, can you do it? She drove her own car. And now had her own pet snake L? Hello, which she brought to social functions. There's no picture of this now. Oh, fuck here. He is. Oh, God this what's his name again? This prince Henry Henry he looks. So stiff. So do you like to do for fun does cool? That's cool. I'll try to put these up on Instagram. That's cool. So she has a pet snake which she would bring everywhere and to social functions White House social really now become I mean, this is taking a turn. She is fully like she's every she's really trying. She's like what will it take for people to stop me? I think I'm too powerful. Like, she's just like I'm going to blow all the cobras to party. All right. I'm driving car with five guys in it. And I'm a snake with me. So yes, she has a snake. The pet snake was named Emily spinach. Okay. Great. She named it that because quote, it says green is spinach. And as thin as my aunt, Emily. Nice. Emily spinach was a garter snake? Eight an egg. It had a hump. No. It's different one. There's a lot of Anna Anna by. So it's a garter snake and she'd carry it around in her pocket or sometimes around her neck where it's at pocket book. But I I don't think they had purses. I don't know. But whatever. And then what a pocket books is a pocket book a purse, but they never have win the pictures. They never have a purse with them. Well, they put it down. Dave. I feel like they wouldn't be I feel like they would think it was wrong for them to carry purses at this time. I might be totally. I think they probably did. But they needed to pockets were went when pockets were invented amazing to think that pockets were invented for women it made a huge difference in their lives. Hotter. Pockets was one of those weird revolutionary things for women. Right. It's insane. Right. Because they weren't they couldn't they weren't allowed to carry anything. Also, they had. Oh my God. What a convenience Jesus Christ. You're lucky luckier let you outside. Alice hit Emily spinach in covered dinner plates during White House banquets and would wait for guest freak out when they remove the cover. Okay. So Billy Madison is in the. Okay. So she also liked to barge the meetings in the White House with no purpose other than fuck with everyone there. And then she'd start giving advice show, she would go go new fischel meetings and start giving advice and tell you be like get the fuck outta here. I think you should clean up your language. What's her name? That's girl. After your postures garbage leave the Oval Office, unless he smokes too much get out after she interrupted one meeting three times. Teddy threatened or thrown around a window out. Throw you out of window. My love seems like you would to. Yeah. No. He seems pretty chill. This is what's best for you. Do it. You'll thank me later. So yeah, it's we all know what? Teddy looks like. That's that's our, ma'am. Yeah. The guy looks like he's wearing to Monaco's does doesn't because he's got a monocle thing. But it's it's two glasses. Nothing. Yeah. That just seems like it'd be super terrible really Incan. Breaking your little weird glasses all the time. Yeah. Yeah. Then begins saying she was a pagan, which was probably just hit a upset the very religious. She started calling Christianity voodoo, okay? He's I'm waiting for her to do something. I'm not into. Happen is never does. Teddy was furious. He accused Alice of quote courting, publicity, which was not a lady lady. Not. He wrote that she described. Oh, sorry. It's my bad. He wrote he wrote a letter that she described as savage, okay? And it was a telling her to to, you know, get your shit together. Right Alice, burn letter. So we don't know what it was. But there's one telegram that survived about her serving tea to charity function k. Okay. From teddy quote, do not like the advertisements of your appearing at a portrait show. They distinctly conveyed the impression that any person who wishes to pay five dollars maybe served with tea by you and Ethel Barrymore. I cannot consent to such a use of your name must ask you not to serve tea tea is just that is what's end of Safak, and you can't just go serving tea for five bucks Zenda telegram. Alad monitor video tear telegram Alicea spotted that she got the telegram too late. Sorry money. Dad taco. Now, there's another layer to this, which is teddy is teddy Roosevelt. He wants to be the center of attention. Right. So she's taking away his jam. Right. Right. One point Alice set of dad, quote, he wants to be the bride at every wedding the corpse at every funeral and the baby in every Chris. So that's calling someone a narcissist. Yeah. She's I gotta tell you. She's a very attractive Davor, you know, but, you know, not in love. But that's that's a it's a community. There's no hat no hat, but she's got a bunch of BS on her back for head. She's got a flower mullet. Yeah. She's going to carry that. So so Alice hung out with a group of sorts hanging around the group of other daughters who are super rich. Here we go grace Vanderbilt Cissy Patterson daughters club. Yeah. Wow. And Marguerite already met. So this just increases tension with with teddy and Edith. Okay. As a group they were worse. So when the girls get together. Because they were all encouraging each other. There's powered rules the openly flirted with men they made trips to New York Newport in Washington the social circles they went to each other's parties. They encouraged each other to push the bounds of social norms. They would. Also bail on parties like people with throw them like one hundred thousand dollar party, and they would just bail on it like they were just right yet living living it Marguerite said she analysis where quote too badly spoiled girl's set only on their own pleasure. Right. New york. The New York herald printed a tally of Alice's social life. Okay. Four hundred seven dinners three hundred fifty balls three hundred parties six hundred eighty TS one thousand seven hundred six social calls in fifteen months. Wow. That is I don't I think you're eating multiple dinners. I mean, foreign seventy dollars and fifteen month a. Days a party, very similar. Yeah. No, you're separate categories. You're hitting two of these things. Three of these things in a day. Yeah. I mean fulltime party John one thousand seven hundred six social calls in fifteen months. Yeah. Yeah. It's a lot. The girls were rarely home except to change closer sleep teddy needed became more and more upset as time went by. And teddy was convinced. They were squandering their lives on frivolous pursuits and demoralizing pleasures. Which is what they should be doing. They're like eighteen being more. You knew that girls could have fun. It should be. Cindy, Lauper broke the mold. It should all be demoralizing pleasure. That's that's what you should everyone should be doing. If you wink at me again. I will leave. The camera on me. People are listening to this. It's a wing for the people at home Nydia teddy to friend, quote, I could do one of two things I can eat president or I can control Alice. I can't do that. I mean, you're the president. You're job is to put out all the fires and just sort of have a national on of these issues you have to deal with. I mean, you need to deal with eighty five different problems. Your whole job is putting fires out. And he's like I can't be the president. It'd be the father of this girl, virus bigger. And he's fucking teddy Roosevelt. Right. So this is like for him. It's like interesting to hear an achilles heel. He considered Alice's pursuit of publicity to be quote, vulgar at get. That's what it's that's what he does. Like, she's literally marrying him, actually. She is being the bride at every wedding the corpse. And the baby. And every Kristen, but it's because she's a woman that it's it's everything. He sure. But things began to change in nineteen four. Maybe it was the wise bed poverty that was hitting America butter actions. Start to look a little worse because of what's happening in the country. Right. Maybe it was the fact that just she's clearly disobeying father either way some papers started to be more critical over actions. One such paper was called town topics which was about the rich, but the rich tried to stay out of the paper. So it's like the scandals badge shit. You. You. Town topics turned on Alice and her friends the paper was run by former civil paper was run by a former civil war Colonel who let the wealthy purchase immunity from negative stories. You. Yeah. Good guy. Yeah. There's not any like version of that today. Right. No. No. What do you think? Like, there's not a like specifically media publication publication that if there was bad news about you could buy a rich person or either way out of Canada and presidential candidate. You could buy that way out information. Yeah. I don't think that's the thing. Okay. Yeah. So. So that didn't happen for Alice. The paper wrote quote from wearing costly lingerie to indulging in fancy dances. For the edification of men was only a step. However, it is omitted that she's a smart, girl and smart girls are supposed to be clever enough to take care of themselves without the aid of chaperone. Yeah. He also said she was using stimulants and had listened to some risque jokes told by the son of a Newport hostess. Well, hold on says, she heard some dirty jokes. And that's a problem. Yeah. He she sat there and listened dirty jokes guy who told the joke when a woman is supposed to be like, oh, fainting couch, and that's fine. Yeah. Right. But the the female who thanked her ears need to be cut. That's right. Thank you. The owner of call your weekly a magazine had previously been attacked by town topics and saw this as a chance to attack back. So he's not he doesn't have to. He's like. It's great for him because this is a popular girl, and he can he can defend her honor. Right. He also refused to believe alyssa's hijinks would include such lis-, let Sylvia's Citius nece the seriousness. So he doesn't think that she would be off with mannerless risk. Also, not right. I mean, do you think she's like how far do we think she's gone with dudes? I don't know. But whatever it's like, you should like if you you know, it's just may. I mean, it's there's still is this double standard where like if a, you know, like dude sleeps with a bunch of girls. Get over here, man. Jeff girl saves with a bunch of guys. Just like what's wrong, would you still horrible horrible active committed? But I'm wondering if like if like. Like what happens if she has sex like, Well, I I don't know. What that I don't know what to air is like and what happened. I like when you said she flirts like the first time that a girl flirted with a gentleman. It must have been like what is happening. This is the total opposite of everything I've ever been taught maybe, but I think they flirted all the time. But I think you flirted with a chaperone around. I don't know what I don't fucking get shit. It's so restrictive anti humanity that it doesn't like it. So alien. So call your fires back the two papers fought back and forth and editorials and the editor of Collier's sued town topic for blackmail, and Tom topic sued for libel. The case was really a battle between all Victorian morals, and what was replacing them. But it put Alice's life even more on display. Okay. So teddy decided Alice on a long cruised Asia nineteen okay? He on one hand he wanted her to get away from her friends. Right. And on the other thought seeing developing nations would be good for her. Right. So seeing right. Same people Philippian, whatever people do not have it the right? We have this is a boat hail. Mary. But she was also sent as a distraction for the press. So he knew the press would be focused on her because her presence would allow war secretary Secretary William Taft who was her chaperone Taft was her chaperone and chaperone on this trip. Talk about an easy chaperoned a ditch. Staffy? Now, that's so weird because he has this station that I've certainly played into that. He's extremely obese. There does now who's like a linebacker. Are you thinking of someone else? Tat wasn't half the huge one. I don't remember is. It was just want to get stuck in a bathtub big there. No. It's tubs small show. You know, the picture is bigger. So so so Taft us her chaperone, but he's also the war secretary because he's actually there to conduct secret negotiations with Japan. So they're using her as. What do you call it a decoy? She's the decoy like she's gonna distractions track all the press. Right. And he's going to get this business done. Okay. So along on the mission that Roosevelt has created for. That's right to talk about a movie. Yeah. She is also Twenty-three congressman seven senators on the trip Jesus. It was called the imperial crews. And it was the first time the dot ever president had been a goodwill ambassador. We'll get back people in the countries, they visited all referred to her as Princess Alice k her reputation was only increased by going on the trip. So alex. Understood the protocol and she worked within the limits on the trip, though, she still Alice. Right. So the trip starts she takes the train of San Francisco. On the train trip. She pulled out a pistol and took shots at targets on the top of telephone polls. The train passed what this is quite this is in America's to America. Okay. So she shooting whatever's on the top of telephone poles. Sure wires wires that are important to people's communication for. Sure. She also one day set off firecrackers in the train. And when people said what the fuck you doing? She said it's the fourth of July, and it was wasn't still even if it was not a valid excuse for firecracker train got to San Francisco if she slipped her chaperone and spent the night alone in China to find this much. She had done Opio. Well, great Taft to have tried to find it. I will find Alice. On ship. They went to Hawaii where she danced the hula. And then she put on a bathing suit and went surfing and Taft beg the photographers not to take picture so Taft. This is pretty early in the trim and. Tap tap this resorting to plead pleading with them. Please. Yeah. She jumped fully stop the media normally, that's right. That doesn't make them more excited. Then they're probably like, all right? Sorry. William. She jumped fully clothed into this ship's swimming pool. Lunacy. All she had on was linen top and linen skirt. So so potentially. I mean, I'm sure she had. This is women were lucky enough to where sixteen layers of they had to get like something to ripper out of the water Alice said it was her quote pleasurable duty to stir up her fellow travelers from time to time. Nice. So each country. She was given tons of expensive gifts. The press started calling the government sponsored trip Alice in plunder land. Oh, there we go. Finally, Finally, I hero in the media merges. But she. Okay. There's big boy Taft right guns expanded. But a poet actually came up with that title. And then the press ran right in the Chinese imperial guards only wearing the two dresses there, right one. And then the other one at and then they pizza hat. The Chinese imperial gardens. She was carried on the shoulders of for Chinese men. The country's all thought if they wanted to gain goodwill on the trip they would have to treat Alice. Very well one traveler on the trip wrote in his diary, quote, perhaps the most Alice was the party. This was so outside as well as inside the country before the trip during the trip, and after the trip many times to return the only question that was asked of me, the experiences of Asia was how did you like, right? Did you see all the sites? I mean Alice. So she did she spread goodwill wherever she went. Everybody loved her all the Asian countries. Where like she's great. From Tokyo to Manila when they reached Korea headlines in US papers, just said, quote soul welcomes her they didn't even say who she was everyone just knew her was Alice Roosevelt, right? But this the plan by this account would be working then essentially, right because the plan is to send sort of Taft, and these other people all over the place to do some secret shit. Yes. And but she just is clearly in the limelight. Right. So when choosing Crear Alice scandalously walked arm in arm and flirted with Ohio congressman Nikolov worth k. Longworth with fifteen years older so trapped trapped so Taft to try to do everything he could to keep them apart. But Taft eventually gave up because he could not control Alice. He then asked Alice Alice tired. Tired? He then asked Alice if she was in love with Longworth and Allison, quote, more or less mister secretary more or less Longworth was a notorious DC playboy womanizer and you'll see why? Oh my God. This man, he the not everyone boozer. He was short. He was balding. But he was wealthy in a rising political star. She was smitten. Yeah. Daddy issues. Oh, one hundred fifty percent. Daddy issues. Yeah. Look at the collar. It's great. This is not the man I thought, but this is what happens sometimes it does to Maggio ended up Marilyn Monroe. He's a great baseball player. Still is no excuse maybe one of the best ever. It's not okay. Consecutive hits. Dave keep trying what you can tell me that he you know, jolting Joe jolting Joe is getting nowhere with me. On the Palmer return that was a war crime upon returning house decided to try to beat the Japan to New York travel time record. What is she doing? Just like, she's looking awesome. I mean, if there was social media bag than holy shit. Teddy was angry when he heard he was worried about her safety. Take the regular route regular train not fast. He was worried about her safety. I'm a speeding train and was fended. She'd accepted a ride from another rich guy e h Harriman. He sent word for Harriman to slow down the train, which he did. But it didn't matter Harriman had done it for the publicity and it worked people lined the train tracks to watch the train pass by waving American flags and bands played like, it's intriguing. I know, but it's like it's a teenage girl on a railing pine for the days when that was stimulating. I do I think we think our brains probably brains to focus on when you're big week of them was going to watch a train, and then it's gone. And then you're like, well, I gotta go read. Yeah. All right. I agree. So. Alice got off in New York after the trip she was at the height of her popularity right? So she's coming back. She's basically like she's an American hero because he's done. All this. Great stuff. Yes. She did all that stuff that the Richmond times dispatch called her quote, an American Girl who has not been spoiled. She had served the interests of America well overseas and everyone loved her four and she not been spoiled. I think spoiled meaning a different kind of boy, okay? Now, she was hanging out with congressman Longworth you mean, the sex symbol we saw earlier. Yeah. The hot hot, dude. He was seeing she was driving with him without a chaperone. The Tribune wrote wrote, quote, if they are not engaged they ought to be. Tribune kept following them. And then a day before the family was going to announce their engage. The Tribune broke the story. I they're engaged. Teddy supports it because Longworth had graduated from Harvard. Also got to be like good good constant chaperone hit. Please you try you try. It was about to resign. So he's into it. Because long graduated from Harvard and was a good family from a good family and Roosevelt supporter. The try. The the trifecta for for any politicians on the press. Women sane in the rump to the wedding the couple could barely walk down near extremes because they were surrounded by crowds. The wedding was peak Princess Alice madness, it was at the White House and February night show six. So the wedding happens. They're cutting the cake, she gets so irritated by the knife. These cut the cake that she turns around and takes a military. Aides soared, quote, brandish aloft and began slashing the cake with it. This license fell right and left. Great was the scramble among your friends, I support her. But this is someone who is not heard no allot. Okay. If you are key Tana in a wedding cake at the White House your in chart. Okay. I don't care who they say is the president. If there's a cake, and you take a sword off the soldier, and you start to hack it and nobody's stops. You. Nobody's worried or stopped. Your nobody has the guts to stop you. The new president. You are in charge. A hundred percent. I don't like this whole breadknife. Yeah. Who wants cake just they received extravagant wedding gifts, including fine perfumes from the empress of China, a twenty five thousand dollar tapestry from the president of France Florentine, mosaic. Thousand dollar tapestry. Is it made from money? I don't know. It's from it's from France. I think they're I think they're inflating the price to vases from a former president of France antique jewelry from the king of Spain. And a Pearl necklace. We're twenty five thousand dollars from the people of Cuba. Okay. Alice in was insistent on calling it her loot her loot, whatever. However. Yeah. I mean, I love her. We'll say no to her. She's going to use the sort, but after the wedding couple of the wedding Edith said to Alice, quote, here we go. I want you to know. I'm glad to see leave. You have never been anything. But trouble. Yeah. Well, I mean, whatever I know you are in like an eighteenth tier character in the story. You ain't shit beat it. Still Alice was free of Edith. So she must have been happy. The couple were not really in love as much as they were comfortable with each other. And Nick was a chronic adulterers. So he went about his business that can I is. It's just there's he and so did too, okay. She started having a fares with men on the side after the honeymoon. It's just. Yeah. Fucking great. Yeah. After the honeymoon Alice out of the spotlight of K. In one thousand nine Teddy's presidency ended before they left the White House Alice went and buried a voodoo doll in the White House lawn. What's is going on the voter doll was of the new first lady, Helen Taft? Oh my God. She's little. Right. What are you doing? Dallas what's going on? Now things a little gift for the future administration. All right. That a doll. So people found she must have told people because people you can't keep a secret like that. I mean, I can you didn't well tonight. So. Sorry. So anyway, they found out about it. And she also publicly criticized the tafs, and so was hers was banned from the White House her beef purely the chaperoned experience with Taft or she does I really couldn't find out a lot of the stuff you try to read about her just gets vague. So also, they probably weren't focus. And she she clearly did not like is why threat because she did bury voodoo doll in in. Right. I forgot about that. Right. Right. When Woodrow Wilson beat her father in the next presidential election. She publicly talked shit about him K once again, she was banned from the White House. She also one of the reasons she was banned from the White House was because she told a quote unprintable joke about what Wilson I could not find anywhere. He doesn't exist. It does not you cannot find it knows what it is. Teddy Roosevelt died on January six nine thousand nineteen. He'd been against the US joining the league of nations so Alice took up the cause when Wilson pushed for it. And she was so affective using all of our connections that she was nicknamed the Colonel of death. Well, she did bury voodoo doll in a lawn and the US did not joy. So she beat Wilson. I mean. People can't say it was definitely her. But she clearly had right influence on what happened. Yeah. She had the media. She became such a fixture in Washington DC, she became known as the other Washington Monument. There's a lot of nicknames. So in the nineteen twenties Alice start having an affair with Senator William Bora, Bora, Bora, B O a there. He is. No, just click the image. So he's a good looking dude. Yeah. So she definitely likes older dudes. Yes, she's pretty into the older older, man. He's the chair of the Senate Foreign Relations committee. So he's kind of a mover and actual relations. Never again, they fell in love. They wrote letters to each other. He's still married to do still married. Okay. But that womanizer too, but I'm just curious getting around right there. Fair became known. The press started calling her Aurora Bora Alice. The press still have it. So. So nineteen twenty five Alice's husband, Nick became speaker of the house, and they had a child. Okay, paulina. I would I was just going to say it's time to get a family involved in this happy family Jesus. Nick loved his daughter, even though she was clearly Senator Boris. Oh. That explains the vibe. Odds are Nick knew that. Nick died in nineteen thirty one. He did not leave much money behind to make money Alice published her memoirs. During the depression Alice wrote, a newspaper column and appeared in a cigarette ad nice. Oh. Oh. Alice Roosevelt long with says there light smoke kind to the throat. What does this say? Can you make it a little bigger? I can't. They have the read it anyway. So blurred. Kind to the throat. That's what I was wondering like did did people feel like because even if you didn't think cigarettes, we're going to kill you your throat get sore. Yeah. We're just like, let's normal. It happens. So else is not a great mother. Was that due to? I mean, I can't imagine. Why do you think it's because I got no idea? She's a great mom. She never tried to keep the secret of the real father. So she. She's a total smart ass. And she's got a great wit. She's really fucking funny, and she got away with the words. But she didn't have like the thing that you would you say, yes, something's missing. And so so she people like, yeah. That's not Nixon. She's like, that's right. Like, she just did. Right. So one point she openly mocked the situation and said, she considered naming her daughter, Deborah because the center's name has blurred, right? Fun. So life went on. She hated the hearings on the on American activities committee Senate committee. One point McCarthy Joseph McCarthy, caller Alice and she said, quote, no Senator McCarthy, you are not going to call me Alice. The trek men, the trash man and the policemen on the block may call me Alice, but you may not while her daughter Pauline. I don't know why struggle with depression and addiction. She overdosed on sleeping pills in nineteen fifty seven the Washington Post that it was a suicide, but Alice cut them to print a retraction. So then Alice got custody of her granddaughter. Pauline had a kid and this time she doted over and cared for her and a mulligan mulligan, and she and she loved the Qin did a good job with the kid. She's always a fixture in Washington. She voted Republican. She was super shoes fucking rich. So was she was well. Awesome. As she was for. I think what she did for women. She's still a really rich person who hated FDR doing. She ended up voting for the Kennedys though, because she was the first democrat. She loved who just happened to be from our crazy, rich, right? She even voted for LBJ. But then she became a Nixon supporter after Bobby was killed throughout. That's quite a turnaround. Yeah. But she, but she's a Republican. Yeah. She was just into the likes to go from Bobby back to Nixon grief. Throughout most of her life. She preferred to be called MRs l rather than Alice K after a lifetime of smoking cigarettes, and a double Masek Demy due to breast cancer eighties Alice died on February twentieth. Nineteen eighty eight hundred ninety birthday. Yeah. So there'd be ninety six. Yeah. Wow. So she's damn so she's a she's a fucking battle. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, the I if you if you're driving teddy Roosevelt insane. Yeah. Well, I mean. They manufactured a person. Who was not going to give shit. Right. They the way the way her child went like. I just can't you know at. It would be amazing today. If you thought about someone getting like, a younger like woman getting involved in mainstream political shit and. All the established old people thinking like this is too much. This person's crazy. This is not how we do things. But in reality, it's the person who can use the media way better than you. And actually affective. There's nobody like that. That establishment politicians hate now. And are really worried because someone is actually a real person and is not full of shit. But. Yeah. I mean, there is like it also shows you first of all how stupid the media is. But also how you can manipulate it properly at times and really just again, how dumb the system that white and the set up is flawed and ridiculous. And just you just gotta punch holes through it treat the system like that fucking plink. Oh game on the prices right punch some goddamn holes in it think oh game. You gotta punch holes to get the sound little WinCo chips out how much the price is. Right. A couple of. Yeah. You gotta you just got to fucking kick doors in and do what you're gonna do. You can't sit on a wait for the establishment. Fuck ED's to they're never going to never going to change your mind. So you have to kick doors down. Let's say you're Nashville, and you're at your hotel hotel, recycle and they're like, no. And you're like this hotel, literally doesn't recycle. And then you walk four blocks looking behind buildings everywhere to just find one place to put some recycling. But that means that they don't do it on us. Well, then when I asked people they were like, oh, yeah. Not here. Not here. Like, you think I what I think about all the stuff we think about and talk about all the time. Like are. I mean, all the stuff our minds are really devoted to shit. Fuck. And then you're like, but they don't even try a little a little bit. It's a real bummer amount. Even the tiny bit real bummer. Helluva town. Well, good good is a good egg. I like her. Yes. Come in. I like her. I'm in I'm in. Yes. What? Whatever I'm done. I'm out of here. Take this. Hello. What do you do on the phone with Hollywood? Yeah. All right. Yeah. Let's do the deal. Witting couldn't some stupid right now with an asshole. What the fuck is wrong. When we start shooting next Monday. Love it grading. What do I have a friend is claims he has boobs to be in the movie? No, I don't. You're the worst fake phone call pretender tagger that I've ever met. Well, you're the words coming up with neighbors for things that just happened guy or I've ever met her. I killed it. Thanks, erin. It's been a lot of fun. Door's locked. Anyway, laser doing it for themselves. The moral. I like my ending better. My dog was toll pounds.

Coming up next