Episode 499 - Quarantimes Quiz

Automatic TRANSCRIPT

It side gentlemen who come to the rocks by go sped DOT COM is. Yeah my third. Yeah Jade's Jielin it right and doing it tight doing it all night. Remember when you asked if I would go on a cruise again and I said never never never win. Beat his wife. Hurry here kind of in the trash. Man I will be you booked all remember when he's just fucking beating. The Shit is in the background. The words there's a song by the way where You can hear a woman getting stabbed inside the recording studio and it's in the track itself what's on Google that Alec. The woman getting stabbed. No nothing Alan Jackson. But this is the real one from the setting. The woman was getting fucking murdered in the recording studio. It picked up on the track and they had to fucking leave it in Which look art is. Art is worth that sometime. Artists Murder Gavin Edwards at a woman's getting fucking stabbed but Alan Jackson. I can see him getting trucked in the studio room the Ohio players. That's it yes God damn it. I use her music and movie rollercoaster of love. That's it dude. Innate Nate Nate Nate Nate. And you're happy someone Costa Blau. Maybe it was during that. Say what's stabbing. Yeah so that we use Ohio players in after your American Beddis soon. I heard that story and I was like. Oh Shit. Somebody really got stabbed in the Middle Man. That's-that's art brother Showbiz Baby. The the show goes on. Somebody's getting murdered. You lead it on the track but I could definitely see Alan Jackson. Thrown in Eagle worth the Copenhagen into his mouth show Raucous Shit were member ruin right Kareem home. You didn't food remember when and then just taking off. His belt slowly beaten his wife. That's Alan Jackson. He Sang My high school song. Yeah Chatahoochee Cool Yeah. The river live down swam on way. I changed my dreams as where I came from. Iran cruise ships shapes cruise ships. Going DOWN You have always said you hated cruises you'll never go back on. Never go back. Do you see. Have you heard of this cruise ship? That's in the water. Outside of two people. Florida Florida will not let them on shore because there are nine cases and people are dying on the cruise ship. And they're like dude whatever. Just let us on the fucking Land Corentin US. Take care of us. We'RE GONNA die out here and the governors like now. Yeah yeah this is happening. By the way by the way around the world they got on this cruise ship in the beginning of March. Oh God early March because the first question is I know well the first question is how are you on a cruise right now? Like how did you ever get to board a cruise during quarantine? Do you know what I'm saying? Everyone's like what the fuck sure. And so they said it was early March that they got on the crew by the way. Are there crews that gopher a month? Yes Oh yeah you can do. Look you'd cruise life is so fucked up and stupid. What is wrong with you guys? James One of the worst. Here's your magic and The the problem is most of them are probably going to be bankrupt Currently they're asking for the federal government for about fifty billion dollars to help them get out of what they're in because nobody's obviously taking cruises nor is anybody going to want to for a very long time. Yeah I dare to say that this might might end the cruise industry. Or you're just going to be down to a bunch one company who buys up all the others and that's it by the way none of them. There's very very few of them that are based in the US so they can't get any of the bailouts because they're all based in like other countries as far as headquarters so trump said something about if they wanted to file taxes through us or do something like that they could possibly get bail out but they would have to move their operation here. You know what I'm saying you can't just like get a bailout from the US. If you aren't a fucking United States company you're right but but they they obviously have so many Americans on these things in that's their argument and trump said an-an-and. No of a look man. We went on a cruise since September for drinking bras. We drink bros. Cruiser. It was crazy and out of hand. Craig was on. There wasn't any ski Craig. Draggers was there. It was funny. Yeah he's always went on the boards. Where Oh and by the razor was winning. Yesterday's always live on Youtube Youtube any anywhere from eleven to two neuner. You can actually set an alert honoring browse podcasts on On the Youtube when we go live boom just comes your phone you can be like all right cool man I can put down tiger king for the eightieth time because people are watching that shit now. Oh they re watching it watching it so I finally got a hold of my dad guys. If anyone was wondering did I did you love. He's alive yes and I said what are you doing? Are you watching Tiger King? He's like a netflix documentary. Do you think it's what we have a lot in common. And he's like what's Tiger King. boy what. Yeah now. He is really corn tires. Get him out of the fucking. When he goes off the grid grid he really goes off the grid. Not No but tiger what we'll do fucking live in at this point and again it's this point. I say if anyone's starting to watch tiger king right now man you know what I mean like the hype is so big the characters are so out there when when we all I watched it as a nation when everyone was doing it it was like we were discovering a little world that we'd never even seen before now everyone's inside the gates like everyone's in a yeah and they've taken the characters and made them caricatures already. Yes so you're not like Oh my God like when you're watching it as a nation for the first time which we all did boom. I would say this if you haven't watched it now. Shut Down Your Internet. Lock yourself in your room because you already locked in your house. I guess. Lock yourself in Your Room. Binge all of it at the same time. Just commit seven hours of your life to it and then don't come out and then go back to the Internet again and then be surprised or enjoy the rest of it if not you probably about forty eight hours left before it's killed for you And again the next obsession is GONNA start hearing in about two weeks Michael Jordan Doc. Who but that's kind of where we are Buddy minds finish ozarks ozarks. Thank you said it was fucking intense. Can we start seizing four now and I was like Okay Damn Dan. I asked Dan about Ozark Inis. I can't watch it that is so F- are no. Who is that last night? A DJ JARED SECOND JERRY LESSON. Jared was like man. I can't watch. That is so tense every fucking episode that you just want it to be over and I was like. I understand that I heard. That's how uncut gems is by the way I heard your similarly like we're going to watch this weekend goes Outdoor theatre fact by the way speaking of cruise ships David Geffen is getting a lot of heat. Oh yes this has been. But he's taken fucking he's on a hundred. What fifty foot yacht? It looks as big as the Goddamn cruise ship to be honest with you and He has a drone and he's been taking pictures of himself from this drone on this yacht in the Mediterranean. Or whether fuck I hope everybody's staying safe during these times and he's postings amazing pictures. He finally put his instagram on private so his rich friends and by the way we should be. I'm okay with that same with paltrow like there is a time and place to let other rich people know where they can find rich people shit but I don't WanNa be a part of it. Do you know what I'm saying? So in the corner in celebrities going crazy corner Geffen Gwyneth paltrow altro. She put out a love letter to Italy. Did she really in the video? It's her doing all the most amazing rich person shit with videography for the last time she went to Italy League. Everything making ause done. It's all like perfectly shot. Love Letter to Italy boy. Also though in it is brag about going to Italy. You know what I mean. Geffen wants to let us know. He's SAFE SAFE TUCKED UNDER LETTING. Us know his brag about how fucking amazing his life as an only rich friends going to appreciate that. You're safe right. Only a rich friends are going to like. Oh God thank God Geffen's on that yacht that we use to all hang out together. I don't know what's more impressive. The forty million dollar yacht or the drone picks the the four hundred drone that he used to take those picks because they were flawless gorgeous. Flawless picks I thought for a second he was on a cruise because it looks like crews royals the best crews commercials are the Royal Caribbean Wind. Direction that actually make you feel like? Oh maybe it's not a piece of Shit cruise but it is but the way that they shoot it for Royal Caribbean. Royal Caribbean is like I could do that ribs Brookings Marble and why or just a damn right it is. It's only beautiful. Older people know kids. You're like I could do that. Shit don't do it by the way but yeah What's Julian. Oh Yes who foof how? She is slowly turning into a little Elf. Boy Because as we famous you know it's widely known that she is not straight right. Yeah so she is called Pan. We are we doing pans now. I'm not sure what she's calling herself. There is pan sexual there is fluid. They're a neutral sexual Whatever the fucking sixty three genders are out there with Sushi is I think she's saying she's not straight and that she still figuring stuff out married right. Yes Okay Shiva Kit okay. So they're not doing well. I don't know why I cannot not gonna put that on her. I'm going to put that on the Guy I'm GonNa go right down the barrel on this. One A hombre. Ross married to Julianne Huff. And she's having problems figuring out whether or not she straights or not. Invite all those girls into the bedroom homes going to be the time of your life because of marriage is on the fucking rocks you manage. Well get a few more ladies in the Goddamn bedroom dude. Come on Bro. Fucking first day. Shits don't cry about it. Don't wind to the press that your fucking wife is trying to figure it out of whether or not she's going to invite her other hot friends over in the bedroom to figure out her sexuality you can sit in a chair in the corner and Jack off like the rest of us. You know what I'm saying. So let's not that. Have that being issue. Now if it's her who files for divorce. Congratulations but ride that fucking train until the end of the tracks right near the Goddamn Ocean. My Man I don't think that's it. I think that she is handing out with a little bit. Too much sore throat would throw Gwyneth in there. What she got vaginas recently steamed. Get her in the Goddamn bedroom figure shit out you know. Do a fun little game where you know she pops up out of bed and our heads in a box and you can play like old movie characters for her. You know what that would be an awesome time but yes she is going very elfin. Very Ellen Degeneres by the way. Yeah she's counting. Us Real Short. Like that like yeah. There's some video of her. Looks like she's in the shower but it's like a slick back. No makeup she really does look like She's GonNa play Peter Pan in the in the play version. Because you know in the play like the Broadway version they always have a girl playing Peter Pan famous because it's a little dainty mail boy man right plenty of could choose you love that role you find. Julianne Hough Off. You know you get her all short. Cut It up anyway. She's letting us know that we can still have joy and peace in our lives. Oh so thank God for her video. Say This if you're stuck at home it makes box eating a little more difficult because you can't have people over that social distance you're stuck with your fucking straight husband straight husband which you'd want. I know I'm going to think this out loud now. Because she was dating seacrest for like Ryan seacrest for like six years. It was a very long time. There's a rumor that he is not a heterosexual male. Changing my tune on that. But go ahead so you know. She was figuring shit out then. Maybe that's why and it was A. It was a sweet beard beard up somebody like that. Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah. Yeah he's gone all the time see. They're working out. He's a very J. Lo J. LO in that he's like in bed by eight dinner if he goes out to dinner. No later than five. Thirty or six sure makes sense. He's gotta be up to in the morning exactly exactly so you get it but it's not that it's Super Fun to hang out with. I get why he does it before a partner. It's like Oh man I'm trying to fucking. Oh Hey how did she look out of? She live without makeup. This this this girl. Okay so like I started the conversation. She looks like a little boy L. Still attractive as a woman or just like she looks like a boy. Dude man I pull a Jamie key. Julianne huff without makeup. I just WanNa see this. Pick here and pop pop it on up. Because that's that's the debate. That's going on right now with yesterday. We talked about the death celebrities right so everybody now that they don't have their makeup artists and all this shit like you're really starting to see like what these people look like without team of their. Glam squad and all that shit show and it's really taken a sheen off now for most of us in America you look at Julianne Huff here. We go got long hair there. Yeah I've been short here have been Julianne. Huff sure here. She doesn't look like the same person. Yeah looks like a tiny little boy. Oh Bob or Julian health. Bob Came Up. You know. I picture her with his Bob without makeup on. I'm all right. So here's the deal. Fine. She's not the show stopper though that I that you know when she's on these TV shows because she's one of the host on America's got talent used to be. I think she got fired. You're like man she's really attractive or on demand starts. She's really attractive. Now that you see with our AK- shape dancer girl. Yeah you know I just. I think it's this video to that kind of got to me like I don't mind her without makeup like she's fine she's got great skin. I'm sure she whatever whatever. But it's the you know man as this keeps going on though you're going to see the celebrities telling without makeup and all this shit and you're like all right sweet man. You're not the girl that I used to want to fuck in your Madan to you. Know Right Most of these people aren't so no shit. Yeah yes so so so so. We're going to do today. James do for the audience since we're live Talca about it. We're GONNA do a corn times quiz today. Which look we're going to test this out before you do. And here's why if this does not go well. I don't think it's going to be honest with you. If if this is not go. Well then I would not recommend doing this with your partner at your house. Because you've nowhere to go. We're on the essential list so we're here in the studio so if the quiz of how well do you know your partner doesn't go well today? I have another show after this. You at least get to drive home and fucking sleep this off with me of like. Hey I won't be sleeping with you know. Yeah obviously I'm saying sleep it off by yourself and then ovary you'll get over it a little quicker than the rest of the people at home because they're stuck in home right. I don't think I'm going to be the one needing to get over it like like I think you may know these things and I may not know them really. I don't know all right. I don't know all right. Look I'll get my rolling pin and we'll see stretch out my down on this one and figure it out loop downs. She we do sponsors. Let's do some sponsors sponsors. Some Franch sponsors. Yes some of France. Sponsors you in mind. Give me Some paper towels at a daddy had a little spill over here. You got a little excited. Little got a little too. Am Today Alec and that happens. That happens first. Foremost talking about ghosts. Bed Dot com forward slash drinking bros. The mattress of the future astronauts currently using him fucking space. It's not true route if they were. Maybe there who knows. I don't know I'll I'll reach out to go spend say. Hey Man if you guys sold any NASA they boning in space. Because if so congratulations. You're ahead of the curve ahead of the curve. Right Roy. By percent off at go sped dot com. That's off Earth thing. Everything in the store and if you buy a mattress you get two free pillows. Which is amazing. I'm going to be real. Pillars are just as good as the Goddamn bed and as always thirty six month as you go. Program still works with this. So you're good to go no interest and all that other shits go sped dot COM for slashing your birthday knocks the page program. Meddling twenty bucks a month on the in. The justice will basis or half off right. Now they're out of their mind for offering these deals right now. I can frame issue that freeness next up this premises heaps dot com forward slash revolution look talked about on the show before some friends using keeps to keep their hair. I wasn't wearing the couple of days and So people could see my main. Get a little taste of its share. Get a little with. Yeah I I've always had a five head forever as long as I can remember but you know you get into your early thirties like i. Am You know right around that thirty two range when you start to lose your hair so this helps you keep what she got jabs at thirty to thirty one? Some people don't really know what do you say I'm saying in your early Thirties. You know people start to lose their. You're in your early. Thirty people are saying that All over the INTERWEBS and I may just see what go ahead. I ve very Pan Link Features Peter Pan like features. Some Penn sexual features too short. So yeah what are you shaking your head for. What's what's the Pan Sexual Alec? Yeah you don't WanNa know. Look look up the word pan sexual type it in and then spout back to me anyways. I E COM concern. Yes K. E. P. S. dot com forward slash revolution. Free Thirty Day trial. So I said Look Man. I will do this. I'll do it for the rest of the year but give the audience a free trial of it and for thirty days and they were like done. We'll do it You go on and take a little quiz about your hair all your shit. And if you're clean ball this is not gonna work for you know. I'm sorry about that sorry about that. If you're there are other options for you use that then put on. Some keeps to keep what you got transplant. Gods. Yeah exactly exactly. But it's keeping here you got so we'll see I'm GONNA I'm gonNA keep taking it. Take it with me and then let me know your feedback as well and again. It's free thirty day. Trial keeps dot com forward slash revolution today next W STRIKEFORCE ENERGY DOT COM boom boom boom boom boom show blind. Strikeforce energy is the premier energy drink for the quarantine times ship right to your house. Here does boom ten back. Forty Bucks Seven. Fifty milliliter bottle comes in the same boxes. You see on the counters at seven eleven. You're guilty Gal. Good go y'all four mazing flavors grape orig- lemon are all dolls last. Don's Johnstone's dance dance. Dance DANCE DANCE. Tasty tiny little pouch That you rip open and squeeze into any liquid available here this right here boom right. You're fucking Ding Dong Hall. And you get to go for six hours. I'm GONNA say six hours. Drink that other five hour energy shit fucking diarrhea your pants but he died this Friday. This show is going to be off. The rails go to a strict senator DOT COM Promo Code Revolution. Twenty percent off and they get a subscription a month early. Recommend it because we don't know Shit's going to end last but not least we got straight razors dot com. Ooh That's clean-cut sue headphones up guys. You're Oh oh in are truly were roles for you. Wuhan on got you all in check motherfuckers. Still eating bats over there God. Damnit man's just shut the country down nuke it I'm all done with China. Straight RAZORS DOT COM. Got Everything you need to shave your body parts in this life. You can shave up. Shave Shave a little triangle boo trend as well people doing fun things with their facial hair during corn time. We have a try some stuff out. We gotTA WE GOTTA company. That's rolling on called Man Skates. That's for dudes shaving. Your fucking ball sack area and talking about that on the show. I feel like whatever I talk about is starting to come to fruition because we have so many audio listeners and I think I should really start talking about range. Rovers Range Rovers the safest vehicle those everyone straight razors dot com. Look don't go to the stores it's crazy out there. My fucking stores are ghost towns. By the way I went last night and everybody was looking at me. Like weird of lego. At where you were still shopping. The grocery store one of four people in there. Oh I like I go to the The stores on the wrong side of towns. You get any dirty looks if you know what I mean. I don't give a shit. I look. I've already had its. I don't really care him. Above the law. Do what I want to do it once. You can do what you want it. Straight RAZORS DOT COM SHAPE. How you want. Bronco revolutions big savings over there and I get a lot of deals all deals. Here's what we're going to do kids. We're going to take a corn times quiz. How well do you know your partner her? So how do we want to do this though? Do you want me to just ask you the questions and then you know. Ask The questions allowed. And then I'll try to try to guess for both of us. One person's gotta read when you know all right and then there's gotTA BE I. We can't ask the questions at the same time. No I know what we're doing now but I'm wondering if like you just want to take the quiz like all read the question. I want you to take the quiz to James. Because you know why because you know nothing about me. No I've got to find if you do like I do firewood. We got okay so the first part there in sections first part is favourite things paintings. Okay came Labor of this with your partner. Yeah because what flavor of Ice Cream does your partner love the most Boy For you. I'm already and here's the thing I am going to give you an out on this because I don't really do ice really the ice cream so neither do I but I realize everybody else does has a favorite one that like as a kid for you I would say mint chip is that wrong. That's wrong okay. That's wrong it's so there's a place in town there's a local place What's the name of it downtown was go to kill Wendy? Love Kill Wins. It's a I don't want to Nashville. So maybe it's just the North Carolina thing. They've got a couple of them. It's the butter pecan. But that is. I rarely ice cream so I would not expect you to know. This was going to say that but then I was like the old people's thoughts know and you know why it is because as grandma's favorite yes it was my grandparents favorite so as a kid growing up. We spent every summer in Long Beach Island in New Jersey. That's where my grandparents lived. There was an ice cream shop. Called bubbles move a lot of questions. I'm not sure if we're GONNA do we fucking day history of all of you know where to go. Okay you were on grandparents used to take me home. They would get the ice cream and then I always kid is GonNa let me try yours. I liked it and I never. That was it but as an adult. I don't really eat ice cream that much. So it is what it is for you. I'm GonNa go with the cookie dough. Cher it's peppermint Yours is peppermint candy canes in it the receiving. We're going to go into I. I don't eat ice cream but like we're GONNA go into like our grandparents taking us back in the day or like the first time. Yours Eight peppermint ice cream. We would get no the first time that this ice cream place opened in Ohio and we would go as kids by ourselves. Take the trolley. 'cause I live in a town. The trolley takes you downtown and Kling Kling Kling. Yeah and so I would get peppermint okay all right well. We'll we'll talk that because we don't really. We're not a real fun with them. And we also Jon Allen Jackson. Get home tonight right. We'll toss it just 'cause like we don't really eat ice cream and we don't really know each other that well. So what is your favorite book of? Fuck my own. But that's I'm sure you were going to guess that right for you. I guess I should've sorry your favorite book. I'M GONNA go with that Michelle McNamara the golden state killer one. No it's not okay because that that one's been by the bedside for a long time. I didn't know if you just enjoyed it that much or at the Beach House. It's the only book I okay ever read their sense. Just what is your book kitchen confidential? Oh by four days that makes sense it does make sense if you know me. It makes a lot of sense. Sure what? What's what's my favorite book. We go. Yeah what up girl. What up. Bro. It's be. It's a rock documentary book. Notley crew the dirt. Fuck you fuck you to anyways greats. That's the dirt by molly ever questions and were already fighting. James it's fine the dirt by molly crew. You've not read it. I know you saw the Netflix series. That the book doesn't do that. Series is bullshit doesn't anywhere. Do the justice of that book man right. They don't even get to Ozzy. Osbourne smearing shit on the walls gun. Dead serious. Read the dirt. Yeah Molly grow okay. Good what chip flavor is your favorite ship. Hound ship equally I could find your favorite flavor by just looking at the floor in the pantry one. Yeah the favorite flavor that you like to eat in the Pantry. A couple nibs my my my biggest guilty pleasure in this life is chips. All chips are created equal in my eyes. And I love love chips for you. I'M GONNA have to go. I've told you this recently I told on this. Show the council week now. Okay what is it? It's the Doritos does not show cheesy air. Okay I mean sure you do like a kettle chip though you do sure. Yeah I've seen. We love kettle chips. What's mine what do you think minus I would say a? I'm GONNA say a cool ranch to read or the Taco one you got talk going's good Yeah all of those are acceptable. I it's you. Which celebrity would your partner most lake to sleep with roof? Blam oh I think. We both Benicio Del Toro for you. Go Robby for you might. This is current. We'RE NOT GONNA TO GO BACK TO LEGS WHEN JESSICA. Biel was a little bit bigger right. Yeah we'll go with that. Thank so it's a it's a it's a once. We both got that one. Yeah we both got that one for sure. Yeah Yeah this next section is first and last okay. So what was your partners. I car I'm going to say a jeep. No what I wanted. Oh no I thought you had the Jeep Cherokee no I did have a Jeep. Cherokee that was on my. I wasn't here I that's what I wanted. As my first car was a jeep wrangler. My first car was a Beige Ford Tempo. And no one would know that because no one would ever offer up that ever in my may parents like male one would be like. Yo my first. Yeah so like I think yours was probably a cabriolet yet. Here we go. Yeah Yeah Mine was We call it the Turbo Temple. It was the most basic car you could ever drive Asia a beige Ford tempo with Beige Interior but tried and true cloth seats and then the child locks in the background are the winners only went halfway down. Oh Yeah but tried and true that thing would is probably still driving around it is status. You're right so two hundred something thousand mile it we. I think we sold it for a grand and then I got a ticket in the mail so somebody else had bought it after that and it was like the fucking steering column was going like far left the entire time but Yeah what else all right. Well she got so who was their first employer. Ooh That's a good one says a cut one of my own For you is it The sporting goods store or were you like that. The buzzer no it. Was I believe it was papa? John's Papa John's is my first employer. Oh Papa. John's Pizza Papa. You know come to PLA fame yours. I wasn't yours like a restaurant. No higher thing. Yeah wasn't a restaurant but was a bar no was it. It was a health. Food store called Rainbow Bridge. Of course it was. Ohio's a GRANOLA had incense and self help books by. What's the get a lot of safety at a lot of sage and we had a lot of books by something? Chop trump era. Yeah exactly trump. Lot of shop run there. Where did your partner lasts fly to? This one's easy 'cause we mostly fly together. We were together. We flew to Austin sex. At what age did your partner that by the way was only three and a half weeks ago I now. It seems like ten years ago ten years ago and it seems like it will never happen again. At what age did your partner? Last live with their parents eighteen eighteen eighteen for both. Yeah how long ago was your partners last haircuts. Well here's a fun fact jazzy. Click crazy talented at a bunch of which is unbelievably admirable. One of the things. That's great about her. Is You did hair? So therefore she cuts. My hair dabbled in a lot of things therefore I can like take care of a lot of things which is awesome. Because like I don't have to go out of my way to go to get my haircut or and Shit like you cut my hair and it's great Yours was probably was the last time you went your hair haircut. It was a month ago is right before we went to us. It was right before very good so the next section is have have they ever okay have police have they ever been stopped for speeding but both of us. Dod Dude Numerous Times. Bro Handles had sex in the great outdoors. We're fucked outside. It doesn't have to be with each other but Oh it doesn't well you did a show called the Nature Pampore. You're getting boned All over Ohio inside places though inside places outdoors. Weren't you shit. There was one was a teepee. Yeah Okay teepees. Outdoors had sex chess. Yeah Yeah Have they ever thrown up in public? Yes yeah yeah. Hey we party. So have they ever appeared on television? Obviously obviously working famous shit. Let's go kidding. I'm not but I still have this Okay the next section is would they rather okay? Would they rather swim with dolphins or sharks? I'm GONNA say dolphins per you know I'd rather go shirks. I'm GonNa Dolphins for you though. Yeah because I'm not a fucking idiot. Would they rather drive through McDonald's or drive past it drive through things you better? You Bet a better a role home you better. You better you bet. Yeah what song is that way. Not One that I. I think it's steely Dan. You Bet recipes you better you better zits met up you better you better you bet okay. Never again okay. Would you rather have sex on a beach or a Bouncy Castle one-two-three bouncy castle be a dog or let me explain that to the audience? Anybody who bones on a beach. You're going to sing on yes on your ding-dong or you're not to say we haven't tried it. It's just not a great idea. You might as well Jack off with fucking sandpaper now. I think everyone maybe tries it once. And if you are smart you never do it again would you rather would they rather be a dog or a cat? One two three for fucking people who are trying to suck their own dick every night. Would they re without removing your bottom two ribs like you're just constantly trying to suck your Dick if you're a man you have a cat in your a single you're trying to suck your Dick Every single nets? Would they rather live without the internet or hot water? Ooh That's actually a great one. That's a great one and I would rather I think you would rather live without hot water. Yes I think you would rather live without the Internet. Now really dude. How do I watch Netflix? How do I watch anything? How do I have my drew? That's true I didn't think about that. Yeah podcasts I mean they. They don't just what well here's what he's saying you don't need if you've Fi- five on your phone right. Which mostly everybody has them. Assuming you don't need to hook up to Internet. I mean you can watch all your shit. Oh that is Internet well. I'm not going back to college tomorrow. So fuck you. The next one is a quickfire round. Rapid-fire rapid via the BIZ. Okay what was your. What was your partner wearing the first time you met them You were wearing jeans Wow you really know you really remember it. Well I remember because we took you. I asked you to go to a bar afterwards. It was during an audition and ask you to go to bar afterwards shoes and then you put on flip flops and can take shared on The troop I had Actually wore the shirt in the movie. Eventually that was like cut remember was provide You were wearing a lake cowboy type But not flannel thinner. One Yup and jeans And I think you were wearing your brown the lake floppy hat. Oh Yeah I remember Yeah that business. My missed that Janet man that Mrs you look great on me to. What is your partners. Biggest ambition kind of doing it. I mean well but see for you. I think it's good to have a cooking show for me obviously to make those books into an. Hbo Series Agree We. We know that we talked about that on the show. Emerson or did you not know that? No I didn't know that I thought it would be to just write books and be like a New York Times. We're simple we're talking. I mean the last one wants to. It's just saying Lena the deal. Yeah the biggest ambition would be to turn those intern. Hbo Series Okay. If they could have dinner with famous person with a famous dead person who would it be? Ooh That's a good one. Yes Bodine what about yours. I think would be prince. Yes it is prince. Who were you looking though in your head now because it wasn't print so no it was so it was a toss up between print prints and Kobe. Because it's it's weird. I don't even think about him as dead. Oh man and that's the weird thing so but that's a you're right. Prince is one Kobe's too but I genuinely had to stop and think about it and be like a shit Kobe's Day would be koby and I didn't even think about that. No No I. That is you're way really hard way. More distraught and affected by Kobe's death then prints. Mary affected by. Prince was older though Prince. Was You know? Yeah that's true on fucking fifty eight. You're kind of like I'm probably not going to meet him but with younger people like even with boarding. He wasn't old but like in my mind. This is how silly I am right in my mind. I thought just a silly goose. I'm a silly billy and so in my mind I actually thought that at some point I would meet him like if I keep going on the path of like getting you know well known having interview. Show or having a podcast. Whatever in my mind I thought always thought that I would meet him and I die. Yeah and so. I think that's in a way you may be thought about Kobe to where you're like. He's young enough. I'm young you know we're we're still. We're on this trajectory path. He slowing down. I'm going up like we're at some point going to like hang out I. Did you know what I'm talking about this during the show? I did get to meet Kobe however having a one on one dinner in a conversation with them is the most valuable thing to me right so like meeting them is different. Where exactly so I like I I didn't get to. I didn't get a chance to just fucking hang so like yes but but Princeton Kobe. That is a coin. Toss like I'd be happy with either sharp but that's great Fire fire getting. What is their biggest annoyance just annoyance? I mean how? How long do we have mine? I think that you don't like stupid. People yes that is that is the worst thing conversations and stupid people. Yeah I have to lean towards that for you now is well where I think lately more and more the conversations you're having with people you're like God damn it. These are the dumbest people ever that I'm chatting with and like I think yours I think you're starting to veer towards that camp as of the last few months maybe I would have said two different answer before but boy children chewing toenails but obviously can't say that I can't say that I'm kidding grandparent's chewing toenails down the other day. Some sorry go ahead. That's I think that's I think late of my big. I wrote something down. I sometimes write notes of like things that show. Yeah no that just annoy me. And I'm like so. Yeah Yeah and I make a list. Let's see there's a couple? Do you just do this for your own. Yeah yeah so my newest one that I just wrote down. I'll just right out. There was one where it was like. fancy deviled eggs. You people try and put a twist on deviled eggs. Like I'M GONNA ask restaurants fucking you know strawberries. Whatever crabcakes grabbed me? No no no not in the deviled egg but the latest one I wrote down. My biggest annoyance was people who play superheroes and then talk about how their kids could care less about them being a superhero every single person. Whether it's like I know it is really but the other day it was like the last straw it was Angelina. Jolie who never does any interviews ever and if she does they're like weird and dark so they find my breaking point was they were talking about her playing molested or something like this. Some kind of superhero and the fucking stupid interviewer as always asks how their kids feel about them being whatever. Oh well you know to me to them. I'm just mom you know. Just dorking mom. They could care less that. I'm playing a superhero. You know what they care about. Probably the like a massive amounts of toys and life that you give them from that superheroes so don't tell me like oh they could care less being a superhero because already spoiled the shit out of him so nothing that I was going to impress them anyway for sure for sure. A lot of people in the message boards. You're saying Asians is also one of your biggest I love how they know me better than you not true. I'm joking I knew you guys would. I knew you guys would answer it right so I feel a lot of time together. That's for sure biggest annoyance. Okay if they won the lottery what would they buy for I? That's a good one if we won the lottery. What was the big thing that you would buy? Probably a studio Huge I want the overall end all be all dream is to have the dude perfect setup. Goddamn every time I them. It was my my kids. Watch fucking do perfect but Every time I see their office set up I love our houses and things like that but that that would be probably my first purchase of like all right. What's the Best Mega Studio? I can have and I would want something very similar to the dude perfect setup. I would want to of those so all of their entire sports room. Were the basketball courts hockey rink weight room. All that other shit. And then another one just podcast studios will probably be my first purchase. I wish was answers about each other shit but this is very perfect for who we both are I e you. You've been answering the questions for yourself. Pretty much the entire would know that. I didn't think you would know that one to be honest with you. So bias studio. I think we're actively talk about what we would do if we had a lot of money. And that's kind of what we both you want. The U on your old Cabriolet back. Oh my gosh often said that absolutely absolutely no cabriolet. The cow seats. I want the red dice. I want it to be in bad shape and break down all the time. Just like my old one so that would be the first purchase for you. Overheating traffic. That was so fun. All the time So that's that's it so glad we made it? We made it if we got less than ten right. We obviously fail Ten to twenty. We have room for improvement. Okay and then twenty or more were expert. We know each other very well in which probably get married. We are so so we'd like to go back to your point earlier. You and I spend more time together because we work together then any couple. I've I know Louis and talking. That's the that's the main point of it is that we spend a lot of time taught each other where it's like just couple spending time together. Not necessarily are they talking to each other right. They may be like working together on their laptops. They may be working together at whatever respective jobs. They have but literally. Our job is to like talk to each other so we do know a lot about each other but like most relationships. I mean look. Nan goes to work in the morning. Comes home at night. Or The woman. Whatever dreamworld lots of house husbands in this group. No there isn't any run maybe Barack but yes so ours is different where we're together fucking three fourths of the day. I usually do another show in the work later rate at night and whatever so yeah I would have felt shitty if we would have gone through all of this known not known you know like Yeah. I mean you didn't know a lot of it but well joking no we kind of we kind of knew her dumb stuff like I think the like answer to the ice cream thing for example is like we don't eat ice cream like we. We cheat on diets quite a bit and never is it with ice cream. That's what my answer would be. No like no yeah. That's not our thing that's honor and I didn't know that you are a grandma stuck in a human human body as far as your ice cream choices. Go and I didn't know that now I know. Do you know what I mean like now. I know that you are like a tiny little old grandma. Yeah I would win at curt where I shaw. Yes yes Dami GAM GAM I wanna put my law Sean. Get a little jar full of word. There's my butter pecan ice cream. Yeah yeah that's kind of what was in the house but I will say this as you grow up. There is certain things that affect you of what your grandparents or your parents. Do you like later on in life. Flake as in particular my grandparents. I would say on my my my father's side because you take the ice cream like the butter per gram. I like butter. Pecan PECAN PECAN. It was always in the freezer so as a Kid. I was like all right. Great go and dip into that then even as a teenager like they were always drinking like gin and tonics and the summertime so like I enjoy a great job at a restaurant at a nice steak house. You know. We got your cozy up to the Mastro's masters. I WANNA sit. I WANNA I wanNA wait like fifteen or twenty minutes. I don't really WanNa be sat down right away. I want to have a nice. Gi at the bar and with mingle with people. That's what I miss about a lot of this ship. That's going on now where it's like. Actually miss being out with people like yeah being in a restaurant being in a thing outs. Doors like yeah. It's very strange to me. That we We come to work with the same five six people every day and then go home to the same five six people and that's about it because for the most part and we talked about this last night. Most of our neighbors of just kind of cordoned off to their own bullshit and Yeah well what I was saying is I think nobody fucking does that. Nobody's asking but I think it's a for us to hang out or now with us but I will say I mean they kind of are but at the same time like there are like some of our friends that are like hey if you want to play like maybe we can try get it together but I just think at this point in this whole process. Everyone is just kind of respecting their own. Risky situation where it's like. We're still going to work. We're still going to the grocery. There are people who aren't so I'm not going to try and hang out with people that are for real quarantining thus not fair to their whole fucking Sich. I'm not judging or anything. It's just what they're choosing to do. You and I are choosing to be business as usual. Be careful and not really hang out with people but we still go to the store. If we need to go to work we're not other people in quote unquote danger if you will. Maybe because of a because of what we're choosing to do I'LL PUT I don't mind putting Alec and danger every day harm's way I went to the grocery store last night. Alec who knows what I have. I touched I touched a whole full of pears. I didn't even wash my hands. Always just touching pairs with store you. Might you might get something so sorry. I touched all those pairs. No but besides the not going out to restaurants and shit like movies are like the Jim I said. Jim Is the biggest factor for me. Say Go to the gym here fucking. I don't like not going to the gym but the rest life is kind of the same or it's just like work all day. I read at night and then fucking wake up and do it again and then we usually go and do something fucked up on the weekends. We're still kind of doing that. Were were grilling out. Yeah James. Your cooking smoking pork but yes I gotta get on the way home. Yeah so why is boys? Meet so hard to get like where where people buying this meat. Because freeze won't make sense. It makes sense. 'cause I'm trying to think like I like all the stores at least here. I've been restocked and all that Shit pretty well and I've been pleasantly surprised by that. The toilet paper is still going though from every store. And that's Hilarious to me where I'm just like. Oh Man restocked but and then the meat seems to be restocked like every two days yeah So yeah I don't mind that but the gym thing like fuck man. I'm so I don't know what to do. Is like trying to work out with kids at home? Forget it you gotta do it somewhere else. You create a shit fucking raining yesterday can do that. I've worked out in two weeks and I feel weird about it and then this is the strangest thing to me. It was like at the gym at by touch my bare. Dick Might Bear Dick and balls. Good seven or eight times at the gym and then use every form of Dumbbell Barbaro and the play. That's what you do. Here's the thing I'm assuming everybody else has to just like a great. No one was ever worried about germs or PAM. Dear fucking jam right. You figure you're just going to be discussing anyways because you're at the gym and then who cares right You were never touching your. You shouldn't have been ever touching your face and lips at the gym after lifting or running or anything else anyway so much. You actually do do that I do. I do know that actually yeah. That hasn't been an issue for me. Not Touching my face and all. That Shit hasn't been an issue for me because I never really did it anyways because I figured man all these people that are touching their dick and balls much as I am so You know Fuck it I'm not gonNA touch my face but I wash my hands afterwards. You know you got to adjust the equipment you know gotta give it a quick tug low poll on your bare Dick and balls. Sometimes you know they get caught up in the boxers. Because I go tight boxers to work out I go. I go loose boxers and real life. Sure tight boxers though to work out and it's like you know package gets benched in there you know you struck is all down there. That back is just trying to squeeze out the back door. So you gotta give it a little tugs e- you know little Yang screw if you will you know Yeah it's it's the same as like pension like an Eagle Claw for a dip your fingers on that note and a thumb up kind of pull it up you know towards you that's cool. I don't know tug that screwed up towards you. Where's for women? You don't have that really right Working thongs those weird. Why because I mean that's all up in your asshole. We're used to it at this point really condition by we're just conditioned and shit for tits anyways so it's like you know tits are compact so you're probably not you're probably not as touching yourself as much as dudes are no no not but I mean you don't even notice how much you you do or don't touch your face throughout the day. My face they do. Yeah I know how much assessment this yeah. That was something I've always known okay. Isn't that weird? That you've always known. How touching your face and why? And whatever I don't know why I knew that I knew that. Now after this and then You know everybody's watching every square inch of their body before they do shit. We got breaking news here. Wimbledon is Wimbledon. And if you will. It's been canceled as the first time since. World War Two. Well that's This that Wimbledon has been cancelled. The tournament began in eighteen. Seventy seven so like twice in the history of Wimbledon dawn since eighteen. Seventy seven hasn't been canceled war war to end now. Now fucking shit man. It's weird because tennis is one person's Sport. I I part of me thought all right you you could definitely go on with Wimbledon. All you'd have to do is get your own boss planning your your fucking Home Court. You know in your neighborhood. What's the big deal with that? You're one on one versus another dude or or woman I figured maybe let that go but I guess the flights and Shit you couldn't do no yeah. Nobody could fly in from around the world. You'd have to have no audience well so I'm glad you brought that up. That's what they're discussing right now in all the other sports but the people that are playing have to fly in from Chicago. And that's what they're having trouble with with the U. OF C. Thing so you have eighteen are I'm sorry that's on April Eighteenth Has NOT BEEN CANCELED. However one of the the guys who is on the main event said Hey man I'm in quarantine or I'm locked down in Russian. They won't let us out so we'll see that still goes on or not. I know Wrestling wwe is going on so there. Wrestlemainia is actually going to go on Sunday. I'm going to give you a spoiler alert though. They pre taped it but they did it. They did do it in an empty ring. I mean anti arena. So wherever it's going to they're going to bring you this. Pay Per view is they pre taped it and it's empty but the wrestlers were going against each other so but that's a sport where you're in each other's faces bleeding fucking gratin. Yeah grunting Fook in you. Doing you know That's kind of shocking that that one went on the rocks brother or cousin. Roman reigns he backed out He's like I'm good on this But from what I heard everybody else is still in there doing it and they've already pre taped it so you've got a winner. I don't know if you can bet on it because if you know if you knew someone shit I just put all my all. My money's on that right one thing that I'm not stoked about though that everybody's going to is these fucking video games man so now. They're betting on these video game players and like now you're that's going to become thing now it's just like come on man what yeah and the. Nba is doing a thing with their players. Players are going to be playing. Nba Two cases. They're going to be playing a video game tournament like sixteen of them against each other Post Malone is doing the virtual beer pong tournament which is bullshit are cited Iran. Yeah well I house these brushing up so that when you guys actually do this story a listeners sent me a thing on the show Pat Mahomes and I guess Travis Kelsey beat him fifteen times in a row so maybe it is him that he's it'd beard beard punks goes. There are pretty good. They're just not on the level of of a professional myself or Pat MOMS and yes. I'm putting myself in a super bowl. Mvp homes in the same category because we both beat him but You know whatever I'm I'm not a hero in my kids. Don't kids only got my hero right? Oh No Jerry. I'm just dad to them mom. I'm still embarrassing to them. That's going on right now The other thing too is like There is weird celebrities making names for themselves on like instagram and Shit and Right before we went on air. We're talking about Tori lanes and the rapper. He's got his whole contraption figured out where he's been able to live on show too goddamn. I Miss Phone with the microphone. Although the Shit we're GONNA try to rig it up here maybe try it and see what we can do and see if we could do it from live from Rei Instagram. Feed the ridiculous but fun that video. By the way I posted on my instagram That thing is completely went. Viral which one is the trump China training video? Yeah it is crossed three hundred thousand on my facebook. Donald trump junior reposted it yesterday morning. And it's over a half a million views on his instagram. The China yeah which is really really funny and then today is a Census Day for all you folks out there who really give a shit about that. I do not if you can't count illegals on all of the Shit Fuck. Do you need to know that I exist? You know what I'm saying. Greenkeeper bent losers Don't care about it I'd treat a census treats a jury duty notice. I pretend it's not there. Five Times called jury. Duty showed up zero hombre. That's not something you tell people. Well our was in Los Angeles civic duty fucking live there so I don't live there anymore. I don't give a shit city of Los Angeles didn't give a shit about me. They taxing ready last motherfucking dollar. I Made Los Angeles so fuck you. Dude Yeah Mr every single time. What do you think I want to go in there and listen to your bullshit bullshit? Trials are over in La. Oh someone's somebody had an Didn't have permits to have a hot dog. Stand with fucking chopped onions and shit. Sorry about it. I don't give a Shit Bra. I'm going to treat the census the same way but I don't really care if you know that I exist. Do you can count everyone. We're all equal in this. So you make up a number and I'll be fine with it. You know what I'm saying. I'll be good with whatever number you come up with. Census and then today's obviously April April fools. Oh you love a good. I was hoping this was going to be one of the questions of. Yeah like yeah. You know it's April Fool's Day fools and you you hate an April fools joke or like a dumb all frankly not like pranksters myself either typically stay off the Internet on April first because I hate the fake stories. I hate the stupid videos. I hate the fake pregnancies. The oldest shits. I hate the grandmother popping out of the caskets and all my God. You died six months ago April fools. I've been hiding in a casket for six months and really fucking trying to get you on. This joke like doing somebody. That's something jared would do something so I I. I hated roof media. Cole is a April fools thing talking about that on drinking Bruce Today. Tonight's on drinking bros. Podcast we're going to be live with Tiny cinema is on if you do not follow them on instagram. They're one of the very best Someone gave them three million dollars to make a movie. It's called but boy based on one of the most famous sketches on instagram. It was one of my favorites. It fantastic fast and everywhere else. They gotta theatrical release and they got fucking bone because the pandemic so it is now going straight digital. I believe April thirteenth. I WANNA say. Don't quote me on that. They're going to be on the show tonight. We'll we'll figure it out but I've been waiting for this movie forever. And it's one of the very few comedies. That are getting made now so I am excited about that James and yeah man. We're here with every single day. Subscribed to drink. Umbro's podcast on Youtube. Were all under the same shingle. Drinking BRO AT S- Ross Patterson Revolution during a rose podcasting and Bros Sports. We had a ESPN's Chris on Lesser John. Bring us on last night's I fuck up his name he's great John Brennan was on sports from. Espn was on last night's at tiny cinema on tonight's and then go to itunes tunes right now and just rate the show. The advertisers really want it and A five star in a quick one liner. We be greatly appreciative for. It's and it's free. Just go in there fucking do it and we will be here with you every day throughout this quarantine however long this lasts. I will say this though with John. Being on the show last night. He's in Virginia and they are under lockdown until June tenth Yeah let that sink in April first and that is not an April fools joke. That's real life and he talked about last night hopping on a on a flight to get back to parents during this time and shit man. There's no way this can go until June town. That is puck in two and a half months from now I would kill you everyone in here and you would kill me so yeah murder-suicide who goes first murder you and tell you that. I was going to commit suicide. Would you down okay? Well it's time to be honest with your partner. They're in this world at this point so I'm glad to hear that Outta here. It'll be a murder suicide. You're still alive living. It got a huge insurance policy on me so I don't know if if I've learned anything from this is what I should also leave you with if I've learned anything from a true crime It's that an insurance policy and murder. Don't really go get hand in hand. But do we. Not Have a revolutionary. We're going every single day. Now and unless somebody comes up with a fucking cure for this corona virus there or whoever the pilot is drops the nuclear bomb on all of China and takes that country. Yeah that'll be my revolutionary today. I'm in the. I'm hard in the camp of blame China now for all of this and fuck them so gun so things that I've learned from dateline. Oh if you have a time stamped. Vhs footage of yourself blowing out birthday candles. You'll eventually be abducted. That's obvious right. If you feel you'll never be murdered if you have more than three pictures of yourself. Right okay. You have like a bunch of footage and pictures. You're never going to be murdered. It's only people that have the couple ones that they just like showing if you have a smile that lights up over room murdered covered in blood true in the mid in the mid West. There's no such thing as loose-knit communities. Okay what does that mean d? Do you know like they're always like a tight knit community. There's no loose-knit in the mid West. You can't be murdered if your home in your home. You can't be murdered in your home if you own furniture more recent than eighty three. Nineteen eighty-three Let's see all have to be that kind of it? Looks like lasers Oma on everything. The best way to cope with your loved ones murder is by staring at a boat Marina. That's obvious people only die on beige carpet. That's a fact. That's true. Only perfect marriages end in strangulation and life. Insurance is always a bad idea okay. I wouldn't strangle you though right. It's always strangulation is. If if their friends and family describe their marriage as the perfect marriage we did not know anything was wrong. It's elation of place. Do you know what I mean now. Strength Ends and strangled nation than yes. Yeah and then if someone ever says never in a million years it means next April never in a million years. It'll be the next The next April that it goes down that it goes down. The murderer goes down. I like that James So when you listen to the show you're not only loving your learning and I'm leaving you with that thought. Today's we get out of here for Jessie Wiseman Aka the Djabel. I'm Ross. Patterson this is the revolution. We'll see you tomorrow and the day after day after day after day after day until we die subscribed during a rose. Podcasts needs evening sees every day from we usually go somewhere between eleven and twelve sent up the alerts food while you're from your loved ones on toilets happening jerks everyone after and.

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