#HURDLEMOMENT: How to Combat Stress & Anxiety


What i find what happens with meditation that you're investing your time so for a fifteen minute meditation. You're actually giving your body rests. That's about five times deeper than sleep and this is not insignificant because when you give your body the rested needs it knows how to heal itself and one of the things that heals itself from his stress but not only the stress from today all that stress from the past. All that stuff that we've been storing in our cellular memory and so once stress gets out of the body. You actually get a return on your investment. You become more productive. You become smarter. You become faster more decisive. There's only body year bringing you another installment of hurdle moment from her at all. I know i promised you a marathon recap and it is coming. Trust me if you listen to these. In order i got you but it felt really time sensitive and appropriate that. I pivoted a little bit this week to bring you this conversation with emily fletcher. She's the founder of ziva meditation. And today we chatting about ways to rid the body of stress. It's kind of. It's a little scary because i'm recording this. The day before comes out which is currently election day. It's coming out on wednesday after election day and a lot of us are on edge. Right now Regardless of what your political things might be. This is a tense time. And so because of that i know about you but i have felt stressed and anxious and that feeling in my chest where like my breath feels heavy and i sometimes feel like. I'm doing everything wrong. And then i have other moments. Where i'm elated and i feel like i'm actually thriving and just off woolsey Things and so. Because i know that i am feeling this way at because i just also know that many of you are probably billing this way. That's why i'm bringing this episode to the feed this week Of course. The of course. The tips and tools that. I chat about with emily today. They're relevant no matter when you are finding time to listen to this episode. We all go through hard stuff and the title of this show hurdles constantly and we have the tools within us to although it may not feel i get at the time handle hard stuff and so that's what i got real as always you like what you were listening to please make sure to tag hurdle over on social media it is at fertile podcast and i over at emily a body and also re on the item store leave a rating and review. And make sure you are subscribe to the week. We heard all on the weekly heard all quickly before we dive into this. I get messages constantly. Asking for my top. Picks for everything from sports brought to seekers were different types of workouts to reflective gear for low light running the try to stay low like running five times. Fast i'm kidding by not easy anyway. I get asked for suggestions all the time and every week i am putting some of my top picks my favorites in to the newsletter to all those questions. So you subscribe then. You'll have them in your inbox every single writing morning. And that's it for now. Let's take a deep breath with that. Let's get hurdling today on the show. I am chatting with a fleischer. She's the founder of ziva meditation in. And we're here to chat all about managing stress. How am i am feeling a lot of things to be quite honest and put my twelve years of meditation to the to the test today. I know this is a very timely topic. I mean as if a twenty twenty has not been full of stress period. There's just so many stressors happening in my right yet. This column demands but yes there are plenty of demands on our nervous systems. At the moment. I like that word demands It's a little bit of a vernacular shift but if you think about it as if you believe that stress is external that it's very easy to fall victim to the external circumstances. But if you just do this little flip of hey. I'm in a high demand time. Meaning there's either things or people or events that are demanding my time and burning up by adaptation energy. Then you can go back into the driver's seat and say i have a choice of how i choose to respond to this demand versus this inherently stressful. So we can talk about this as we go. But it's basically switching. The idea from stress is happening to me to stress my reaction to external demands because we are always in charge of our own reactions. I love that. And i mean what you're talking about is a big cornerstone of integrating meditation regularly into your everyday into your weekly practice so before we jump straight into the concepts in the in the practices that we can use to manage stress. I'd love to hear just a little bit about you and talk to me about ziva meditation. Sure so ziva is all about meditation for performance. Like i believe that we meditate to get good at life not to get good at meditation right like no one cares. How many apps on your phone. No one cares how many or few thoughts you have when you sit quietly in a chair but everyone cares how kind you are. How adaptive are you. How intuitive are you. How present are you has. Your sex drive has your immune system people care about those things and the more you have daily practice more regularly. You commit to a daily meditation practice all of those things that i just mentioned not only get easier but they start to be like your baseline like you just are into it. If you just are present you are create. If you are healthy and it doesn't become work or discipline it's just your baseline level of happiness increases your baseline level of intuition increases and so Ziva were all about making things as accessible as possible and one of the things that makes ziva quite unique is that we're not just teaching mindfulness which most of the quote unquote meditation. Apps out. There are teaching. Actually what i would call mindfulness. Which means that someone's guiding you through right like someone is having you focus on your wrath or visualize something and all of that is good. Mindfulness is very good at dealing with your stress in the now but meditation specifically ziva. Meditation is all about getting rid of your stress from the past. All that stuff that we've been storing in our cellular now even on our epigenetics memory Clean that stuff out. What happens when you get rid of stress in your body. Is it you start being able to perform at the top of your game. You can increase your iq. You can increase neuro. Plasticity can decrease your body age. And so we're actually getting a return on time investment when you do meditation versus just mindfulness and we finish off. The end of the ziva technique is. Manifesting has basically consciously creating a life you love. It's you getting intentional about what you want your life to look like so this technique is mindfulness meditation. Manifesting three m's and us from like the appetizer. The meditation is the main course. And then you finish with the desert of manifesting interesting okay. I love this idea of desert of man of messing. Who doesn't love dessert. Nobody okay so then. Let's bring it back to this concept of stress. We've got a lot of it so hacks tools tricks. Talk to me about how we can rid the body of stress. Yes so i think most of the tax and tools would be more in the mindfulness camp of like. Oh my gosh. it's election day. I'm freaking out. What can i do. I feel like i'm having anxiety attack. I can give you a few just like real time. In the moment things you can do to create a state change and then we can talk about the science of why meditation creates a trait. Change our rights. Mindfulness like oh. Let me feel better in the now meditation. Getting rid of stress from your past so some tricks would be something called the to express. This is actually the first thing. I teach in ziva online which is our fifteen day training and basically all you're doing is inhaling through the nose for the count of two and you exhale through your mouth for the count of four and that sounds simple because it is but it is powerful enough to stop innings. Id attract a anxiety attack in its tracks so we can do a few together if you like world disease. Let's just do it while we're listening to this podcast. Let's do it. Let's do you just close your eyes in hell through the nose for to an exhale through your mouth for four really good again inhaling through your nose to right into the belly and acts handling through your mouth for four really good on the next inhale reading space into your bellies face into your heart and as you exhale feeling your browse off in your jaw softener their shoulders drop your heart. Open your legs relax really go to one final time for good measure in this time as you exhale letting gravity do its job the weight of your shoulders drop letting any unnecessary tension or speculation. Just wash down through the bottom of your feet really good. So that was like ten seconds of our life and chances. Are you feel a little bit more oxygenated a bit more present a little less holding in the body and the reason why the to experts is so effective is there actually calming down. The vagus nerve. Which is the super highway between your brain and body and so. It's really simple panic attack. You don't have time for something complex. You know you just need to keep it simple. So it's out for four that was really calming. I liked debt. I feel like there are definitely going to be people that listen to the show who cringe when they hear other people by hate is totally anti. Asmar's but i feel like you know what we just taught them something really useful and made me feel good. Good good great okay. So that's one helpful tactic. We have here. Yeah and then. The other one is sort of philosophical. But i'm big fan of something called watering the flowers not the weeds. And this is another simple concept can be very profound and what happens is that we humans we start to get good at problem solving and then we look at more and more problems to solve so what. We're what we accidentally do that. We start putting our attention on all the problems that there are to solve. And then what we're doing. We're watering the weeds. Instead of watering the flowers so we all know that what we put our attention on gross and so if you imagine standing in a garden and having a water hose in your hands and if all you're looking at is the weeds the naturally the the hose is going to be pouring onto the wheat so you're watering the leads watering rates growing more and more and more of the exact thing that you do not want versus if you take your attention and put it on the flowers. Then you're going to be watering the flowers and you end up growing more and more of the things that you want to create in your life and so the election is actually a perfect example of this. Because as you if you've washed over the past few months what most people have been talking about is anti this. Don't vote for this. This person's terrible defunding this anti this and we're pushing against Pushing against versus. What are we voting for. What are we moving towards. What's the word that we do want to see. It actually takes a lot of bravery to put yourself out there saying four something in this age of skepticism and cynicism and down culture in cancel culture. It takes a lot of optimism. And like i said bravery to say like i believe in this person. I believe in this concept. I'm going to dedicate myself to educating youth. I'm going to dedicate myself to to creating a whole new system and you know this is an interesting example. People at like oprah winfrey or reese witherspoon reese witherspoon has actually done a beautiful job of this. She didn't go into hollywood and say oh. I hate this system it's misogynistic. There aren't enough female directors. There are no rules for women over forty. I'm going to try and take down this. Hollywood patriarchal system. She said no. I'm just gonna create my own. I'm just going to create a new one. I'm going to create a production company. That's going to be so successful. Write the scripts i want. I'm going to produce the movies i want. I'm going to hire the actresses i want. And then she did the same thing with book club. She knows she's it's mostly female authors that she's featuring so instead of trying to take down some old system to to water the the we it's she built a new thing. She wanted the flowers. And i'm very interested in that as a concept of i'm voting for this person i am interested in creating this community instead of taking down. Something else i dig that. I dig that and then also i mean in doing that. In watering the flowers you also seem to have an opportunity to step away from The comparison thing like we're so worried about comparing ourselves our our progress or what's going on in our lives to other people in large part because of social media that in doing that we we seem to takeaways our own joy and stray away from the things that make us happy. Because we're so worried that the things that we have aren't good enough that's right and when you're looking at other people's successes all day you're actually watering other people's success right. You're not putting your time and attention on your own projects on your own creative endeavors. All you're doing is you're actually nurturing other people's dreams by doing that definitely. It's fine to celebrate other people's successes. But you know our time and our attention of the two most valuable resources that we have and so we wanna take care that we are investing them wisely and that brings me back to the meditation piece in that you know with a lot of the accident. The mindfulness practices. They are good but because they're only dealing with your stress in the now. It's almost like you're spending your time. Versus what i find what happens with meditation is that you're investing your time so for a fifteen minute meditation. You're actually giving your body rest. It's about five times deeper than sleep and this is not insignificant because when you give your body the rest that it needs it knows how to heal itself and one of the things that heals itself from stress but not only the stress from today all that stress from the past. All that stuff that we've been storing in our cellular memory and so once that stress gets out of the body you actually get a return on your time investment you become more productive you become smarter you become faster can more decisive and so for fifteen minute time investment you get back three hours of productivity in your day. You might get back two hours of insomnia at night. You might get back days of being sick because your immune system is stronger and so. That's a big thing like we're not spending our time on meditation. Were investing our time. And that's one of the big things i hear about ziva specifically is that people like no. My return on investment is huge. That's so interesting. Because i mean why i'm just like sitting here thinking about the difference of meditating fifteen minutes versus sleeping for fifteen minutes and so. You're saying that the meditation is an active process. That's enabling you to be better in other areas of your life. So in the process of meditating. You're just getting a higher return on investment than just laying. Down in and taking a catnap thousand percent and i would also say that same argument applies to. I'm just going to snooze for fifteen minutes in the morning versus. No i'm going to get up and meditate. Like if you start to understand that with this style of meditation specifically you're giving your body rest. That's five times deeper than sleep. The new laying in bed snoozing hating yourself for fifteen minutes is actually robbing you a four times. The amount of rescue could be getting if you just get up and meditate and once you understand that concept than this idea of. i don't have time to meditate flies right out the window especially if you're a snooze her especially of yours user okay. So we've talked about these two strategies for managing stress. But how else can. We read the body of stress altogether. So i'll share the sort of like i call it art math. It's not math math. But i think it's very helpful illustration of why like an every day. Twice a day meditation practice gets rid of the stress in the body. So if you were just to meditate once a day you're basically just handling all the news stress that you pick up each day but if you meditate twice a day then you're getting rid of not only the new stresses from today but the backlog of accumulated stress and it's really the ratification of the backlog of stress that usher us into higher states of consciousness and performance. So here's the math. Let's wake up on monday. And you pick up ten units of stress. Okay you go to sleep monday night. Sleep is restful enough to burn away. Seven units right. You've picked up ten sleep burns away seven you wake up on tuesday and now you're starting your day with three. You pick up ten units again on tuesday. Maybe a little extra. It's election tuesday. And then you go to sleep on tuesday night. Burnoff seven wake up on wednesday now. We're starting the day with six up. Ten bernas seven with sleep nine twelve fifteen and this just keeps building and building up. This is why people tend to get more stressed. The older they get why we start to have mid life crisis season anxiety attacks and panic attacks by forty percent of american. Women aren't anti anxiety medication. So then we start meditating okay. And here's the math on meditation. You pick up the same tenures of stress because life is still life but you meditate. Monday morning that burns away three units. You meditate monday afternoon. That burns way three units. You've picked up ten. Meditation is now handled six for you. You only have four left. You go to sleep monday. Night's sleep burns away seven four minus seven. You wake up on tuesday of negative three. Pick up ten off a total of thirteen with a sleep and the meditation now on wednesday or at negative six the negative nine negative twelve and bit by bit day-by-day meditation by meditation. We just keep chipping away at this. Backlog of stresses we've accumulated until we get rid of the entire backlog we've ever created and that process for most people can take about seven to ten years depending on how stressed we were as children. How old we are when we start and how regularly are with practice but to me. It's like wait. You mean in a few years. I could get rid of all the stresses i've ever accumulated. Immediate doesn't take life times. And so i think that's pretty exciting. You know. it's not a quick fix. Its practice but it is the fastest most effective means to eradicate stress. That i've ever found for those individuals who are getting just really frustrated. Maybe they've tried meditation or some of the tools that you've mentioned over the last little bit Before and they just feel as though they're not working you mentioned the word practice and that's exactly what it is. It's something that you have to consciously work toward for those individuals that are frustrated. What do you tell them on how to better embrace a practice. Great question so the number one biggest obstacle to meditation number. One reason why people feel like they're failures when they start meditation and they'll say things like oh i wanna meditate but my mind is just so crazy i wanna to but i can't sit still. I wanna medicine. But i have. Add here this all every day. You can meditate. Everyone commodity just like everyone can sleep. Everyone can meditate. Everyone has the innate ability to sleep. Everyone has the ability to meditate. The question is are you using a technique that is right for you. Are you trying to use a technique. That was made for a monk. And do you have any training because if you don't have training and if you're doing what most of the apps for teaching jazz Derivation of things that were originally made for monks. Then you're gonna feel like you're failing because you're going be assuming that the point is to clear the mind right like how many times have you heard. We'll just clear your mind. Just sit down and take some brats and if thoughts come just let them pass by like a cloud. Just clear the mind. So here's some really good news for anyone who helped frustrated with meditation. Anyone who's felt like a failure. The good news is that the mind thinks involuntarily just like heartbeats involuntarily so trying to give your brain a command to shut up is as impactful is trying to give your heart command stuff. Eating it does not work and yet this is the criteria by which everyone is judging themselves as to whether or not they can meditate. And it's why they feel frustrated and it's why they quit so the good news about ziva is that you don't have to clear your mind. Okay you're allowed to have thoughts in this style of meditation. As a matter of fact those thoughts are an indicator. That stresses leaving the body. You could actually be like thank you and goodbye. Thank you and goodbye. And then our litmus test for whether or not the meditation is working does not become. How successful was i making my brain flat line. Which ps only happens over dead are litmus test for is it working or not becomes i better at life and my happier and more present to have a higher sex drive and my healthier and my more creative my more present with my family and then if all those things are happening there like oh good meditations working even if i'm having thoughts right okay. So that's promising that and so it's just really committed at the end of the day. We'll it's first knowing. Meditation is a skill. So i would not say for someone to just white knuckle it and just sit down. I'm going to meditate if they don't have any training and they're trying to clear their minds because then it's just gonna feel worse and then they're gonna do meditation. Shame spiral so no that meditation is a skill like any other skill and it does take some training but once you have a tool designed for you and not a monk and you have some training in it then it becomes like a no brainer like of course i'm gonna meditate like i cannot imagine going through my day without meditating twice like i'm running a company i twelve and please i have a toddler. I'm working on my second book. And so. I cannot even conceive of getting through my day without meditation practice. I need my brain to work at a certain level and so instead of me thinking about it. Like oh i'm going to white knuckle force myself meditate is like i crave it now. I see how much better i feel. And how much better off on the other side of it. yeah for sure. Now i can totally totally totally appreciate that. So then my question for you. One last thing i mean. We're talking about how to rid stress from the body. Something that i have been advised before actually can be a little off putting for some and maybe a little awkward feeling but i am a big like large cy. Screama fits save kind of person and iron. I'll never forget that. I sat down with With sadie lincoln early on in in her office. She's the founder of bar three and she taught me this exercise which was literally just like audibly letting out three deep breaths and i just felt in that process. We did breathing before but just the actual noise making made such a difference for me. Have you ever done anything like that. I have and i love cd. she's actually ziva graduate. I spoke at her bar three conference and we saw a bunch of the shop owners. They went through zeba online which was really exciting And what's happening. There is similar so when you make audible sound when you're sighing. I mean aside is very similar to the two x which we did earlier the pudding sound on it actually helps to stimulate the vagus nerve even more so than the you could do. I mean sighing or screaming is great because of an arctic. But you could also do that with simple humming of just you know in through the nose for two and then humming count of four and that's really nice to stimulate that vegas nerve as well but i think you know i'm all about a good catharsis like screaming. Punching journaling was especially as women so many of us don't have anger as part of we haven't seen healthy examples of female warriors or Female rage actually and because it's so stigmatized and it's so repressed in our society that it's it's tricky to have healthy outlets for it and so one of the cool things about ziva is that it's very much Because it's getting rid of the stress from the past it becomes its own catharsis and that's a big part of my job as a teacher is to help people through those beginning days weeks when people can have some extra tears some extra angers extra. I'm just bubbling up and out. It's why we have a beautiful global community and it's why it's really good to have some support as you start to practice as powerful as this one but i love the signing in the screaming. Love the screaming. Awesome while i. I know that these these tools in these suggestions surely are going to be the some some things that i'm leaning into the over the next few days and weeks and months to come. So thank you so much for your time and your helpfulness and i would love it if you could give me some insight on halla. The hitler's can keep up with you and follow you and All things zepa so the easiest place to find. Everything is at our website which is ziva meditation dot com and z. I. v. a. Which is a sunscreen word. That means bliss. So even meditation dot com. You can find our fifteen day online training and the cool thing about that is at once. People move through the training. You have the mindfulness meditation and the manifesting to take with you for life. You don't need like wi fi or an apple headphones to be charged as who wants to go their phone to meditate Having a meeting in a liquor store we want to be able to unplug for some moments of our day so once you graduate you have those to take with you and i also have a book that came out last year. It's called stress less accomplished more. And people really like a science of why to meditate and really want to understand like how it impacts your and your sex and your productivity and and your body age that their. I go deep into nerd town on that in stress less accomplish more and engineered town i dabble in newtown often. So i feel you. Well thank you so much. I am over at at hurdle podcast and at emily body another hurdle concord catching is next.

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