Sneak Peak: Flying Solo Course
<music> hey everyone welcome to conversations with John and Lisa Lisa. It's so great being with you today and we're going to actually do something a little different on this one. We're going to actually cut into a teaching that you did the office on Flying Solo but before we do this week's review comes from Rachel Lisa and she says this I've been in a rough season for almost a year and these podcasts have helped me so much in the last few weeks I love that wish wish I would have discovered them sooner but God used this in his own timing not my own. That's so beautiful Rachel. Thanks so much for sharing. I love that too and today we're going to like cut into this. Whole series called Flying Solo? You know John <hes> I just I felt that there were so many people had a misconception of what it meant to be single and they're like Oh. I'm misconducting with my life until I finally get connected with my husband and I didn't WanNa see that and so this is an excerpt surp- from flying solo series if you wanted like say hey I love this excerpt you can actually look at the entire course check it out on messenger courses dot com okay so recently. I used my instagram story to ask some questions I said what is it that you single women need and I was shocked by the response but before even go. Into some of these questions I want to tell you guys have some incredible benefits like single women. You'll have to ask anybody else where we're going to eat tonight. You can go eat whatever and whenever you want. You don't have to share your desserts as a single woman. Whenever I got uh-huh John is as big discussion because I want to go to market and he doesn't want to go to market? He wants to go to whole foods. So you get to have choices I wanNA talk about the challenges and the opportunities of being single I I'm going to dive into some of your questions nations. I what is the secret to opening a jar without a man in the house. I'm going to tell you I had learned this one because what I was a stay home mom John was not there. My little boys were not strong enough. You get a spoon and you take take the point of the spoon and you pop the lid it breaks vacuum and it comes right off. It works every single time you don't need a man. You need spoon next thing. Why hasn't this happened for me? Why am I still single? I've been praying for for so long. Has God forgotten me I part. I don't know why it hasn't happened but I do know without a shadow of a doubt God has not forgotten you so I want you to know that he's not forgotten number three. How can I bounce between between being honest with my God given desires for a spouse well content in singleness actually understanding that singleness is season of opportunity? I remember when I was single again. I know that a lot of your like you weren't single long enough to even speak about this but I actually felt very much single very much alone. When I became a Christian I realized I'd had terrible choices in men and I had to just sit myself out of that game for a while but? I took that time to really delve into the person I wanted to be and I had to actually get really honest with God about that had horrible taste in men that I chose men that were really hard to please and really hard to keep heap oftentimes. We are looking for the wrong thing in the season where God is saying. I want you to lean into some stuff that I have for you. I want to do a deeper work or else. You're going to go for the wrong man for the wrong reasons and I. I don't want to see that happen to you because I've known known that heartache of giving my heart completely to somebody who utterly disrespected it and then knowing that I had a man of God this incredible husband who is praying for me even before he knew who I was was an incredible incredible opportunity opportunity that I don't WanNa see you miss so dunk for the wrong thing and then it says. How do I handle the pressures from families than France? I think that's a come to Jesus talk. Everybody sees you a single and things they need to fix it. Why are you still single cannot find anybody? Let may help you with this. Maybe to see to say hey. I love that you want to help me out with this but right now. It just feels like pressure. I don't want you doing this with me. I will tell you if I want you to do something. How about we make a deal on that that if hi come to you and ask for that help you be that person for me so just have that conversation and it's actually going to probably relieve some pressure off of them as well nother question? How do I pursue community and companionship insen on this was something that I loved? Loved a beautiful young girl wrote in and she said we need to be invited. I think that a lot of times people think got the married people over here doing their community world and we've got the single people over here doing their world want. It'd be intentional to ask people say I really want to be included. It's not GonNa be awkward for me to be with people. I'm not GonNa see you as married people. I'm GonNa see you as my friends and I need time with you. I need time with your family. I need time playing games. A I WANNA be included. I don't want to just be left alone and lonely so I want you to invite me into your world so give them permission and just say I don't want to come across as needy but we all need relationships and then if they're not catching the hem you create the community you begin to gather other people invite married people invite single people but you have the power to invite people into your world not to sit around waiting until somebody invites you so just think about who'd want to do with and and then invite them in our family does a lot of games game seemed to be a great connection things. How do I can back feelings of loneliness and feeling less than okay so I wanna just clarify something? Loneliness is different than being alone. I remember feeling incredibly lonely in that season and I'm going to tell you I don't want to minimize the pain of that season but often that's a time when you can dig deep. It's a time when you can really go. Oh deeper into the things of God I call it my cave time where I just go into that place. I'm not afraid of going into a dark place and seeing what is in there seeing what can be dug out what treasures or what can be mined from that. Not Season because there's always a lesson in that season so don't call myself lonely. I'm going to say it's an alone. Time is the time for just me and God is the time that he wants to do something in me. That needs to happen alone. Not Not in the company of other people I really believe in this is just me. I think that people that are single probably need less work. I think married people we need this iron sharpens iron this catalyst of remaking and so often when you are single. I know that you're thinking once I get married. Everything's perfect. That's a lie is not even true. It's not even close to true so I don't want you to think about. I'm lonely because I'm alone. I want you to think I'm alone because I'm gods right now now. I'm GonNa Season of devotion. I'm in a season where I can do certain things you know. When I was single I could turn on the lights at to him? In the morning. I could turn on music. I could dance. I could pray out loud. I could read my Bible. I could get up when I wanted to. I could go to bed one. I wanted to now I mean I got Mr John if he's brushed his teeth and he's in bed to bed within five minutes event Lisa Lisa come on getting back getting better. I'm like I just wanted to know. Come on get in bed. Your life is no longer your own. When you're married you actually adapting to another person so during the season enjoy what you can do you can do a bubble bath tonight? You can do whatever you want so enjoy season. Why you've got also spend a Lotta time in my alone season reading the Bible? And I am so glad that I had this opportunity to really put down some deep roots in my alone season so I'm not saying that the struggle isn't real. I'm saying that you can flip the narrative that being single goal is not about wanted or rejected but being single is about being devoted so to think about that devoted to the season getting the strength of this season. Could you're going to go into another season stronger so one last thing I want you to understand that transition is part of life so we're talking about where you are right. Now is in maybe not we're always going to be so we're going to go into the next video. I'm going to tell you what not to do. In this season of missing police said that was absolutely amazing. I just love your wisdom babe and so this concludes our six part series on the myth of being single that we've done on conversations with John and Lisa and I just want to encourage everyone everyone of you if you are really getting ministered to by conversations. Can you please share it with friends and also just subscribe because that's what that way you never miss. An episode and next next episode is going to be a brand new series. We're not going tell you you just going to tune in and find out what it's going to be and also we love love love getting questions from you. We love hearing your comments. We might review our rejoice like we did with Rachel at the beginning of this one and we have literally designed entire series on conversations just based off your questions so questions are so so important so Lisa. It's been great being with you and until next time everybody this has been conversations with John and Lisa Hey.