Episode 200: Hold Off on the Soup feat. Dril & Derek
Yeah all right everybody. Welcome to episode two hundred of. Yeah but still I just realized it was two hundred. Yeah I thought it was GONNA shoot out of it by now but of the pod. Yeah here I am. You know two hundred Where two hundred two hundred deep? You know thought thought thought I'd find a way out but I've seen you looking brother what's up. I haven't seen you lookin' very hard now. I mean you know I've been and I you know you know then a calling Receptionists Studios A movie Studio Studio. I would like to be in a like a come on come on. Hey you guys have any Do you have any position open directors. This is sweetheart Swede harder director positions right now would love to be an executive. Hey Hey listen. In Babe love would love a franchise money Should we introduced in this STU drill and Derek back one more time honestly. We had to Redo that line. Just there because Brandon Docs drill Yoyo accidentally said full said his full name and address address. Yeah yeah welcome back. You guys were on recently but I I wanted to have you back on and I'm glad you are thanks. We don't have anything else to talk talk about doing from last time I know last time we did our show. We're still doing that and Nothing's going on in our like our personnel Wiley silence. I'm working on a book. I'm doing a book. It's a it. They already said the new working episode. Saying this is just a recap of the last episode. Yeah remember our favorite parts in the last time you were on I mean he's you know he's literally talented. Wanted Artists goes. We had our discord secret. Santa Ana I I know for a fact. Somebody got your last book as their gift. Oh Nice actually. That's my gift is received yesterday late. Shoutout Sean Beg me this. IEP tricks Insane Clown Posse psychopathic records. Baseball Jersey Chrissy. That will probably be wearing that in the picture. I'll throw down for the pictures. Yeah The last time I hung out with you guys was that was it your was it was it drills. Israel's apartment it was my apartment department lives in an apartment living spoilers oxygen show find him. What's the people are really pissed that you don't live in a cave And breaks the pig. I'm a piece of shit you know. Come on over. Oh yes we watched Fat Albert we watch the live action. The live action. No we watched the movie Fat Albert he started by written by the screenplay by Dr William H Cosby. The man himself man himself he does he he makes a cameo yeah and starting to walk connect- like one. Am We watch fully like very late night style. Yeah this is the the lives of content. Producers Answer's yes in this week one. What was it was it just the middle of the week? I think it was like may was it not the weekend we weren't doing the weekend where we watching my no dude. I think it was not on. I think it was literally on like a Friday night and remember like curving. Two girls is to be like listen. I'm watching fat Albert with the boys. Yeah Yeah had to go at that. Well well we made the right call. I could have been listen. I could have had. We've had to just pepper that. NBA Let me set the scene. We'll be down to watch. Watch a movie two weeks before that blow John a year before that I let a convertible leading color. Red Very cool I I had my dick in some warm pussy okay. That's just what I did. I didn't want that. I didn't want that. I wanted to watch the bill. Cosby is be moving. I wanted to watch fat Albert with my friends. Okay yeah because I had not watched it since it had come out. I don't think we've got that it down. We paid for it. You bought it with my credit card and my I gave that right. This is a credit card and an apartment yeah. He bought it on on Amazon Prime Amazon prime paying for you guys got fat Albert on Amazon. Prime support importing taking supporting artists. I don't know who who's. WHO's profiting of US watching fat Albert One? AM on Eliane. Yeah Bill Cosby's like Defense Fund. I mean how many people are streaming share. Yeah cosby notify. aww Say this if you do watch fat Albert Two thousand four get it from Pirate Bay or something. Yeah pirate the movie. Yeah okay so the like Well basically it's so it's kind of It's sort of like burst pleasantville. It's predicated on the idea that like this little girl this like twelve year old girl. She's in high school. Why is this high? School girl is is no yeah high school girl every day after school she goes home and she watches fat Albert. Fat Airing Airing on TV on. Who knows what channel? Yes truly where she watching fat Albert on TV. So she's she's she's every day she comes home. This high school student. She comes home from school after a long day. Keep going to cast pictures secures. I'm GONNA say yes. And she watches. She watches her favorite. TV Show and one day and one day they. They said she's sad she doesn't she's she's sad well. She said because she's like she doesn't have any friends at school. She doesn't have any friends is at school since the beginning of the movie. I don't have any friends. Say Sad that she doesn't have any friends at school and Fat Albert and his friends here her through the television vision. Oh Wow so they here. They're just here. Every person watching Pat Fat Albert impressive the Seventy S. They've been stuck in this fucking like purgatory forty years. They live at a thing about fat Albert but they live in the junk yard or something something they live in a junk junk yard for forty years and then they hear her in these young rats they jump out of the TV yes into real life. They're all oh like freaks just happens like right at the beginning of movie. Yes which leads me to believe too that like they were waiting for somebody to express interest in hanging out with them. It was like man. I wish I could meet fat. Albert in once in in the many years of fat Albert being on TV was at. were any of the kids. Like Man I wish my favorite cartoon characters were real. Yeah they they waited until two thousand four. They waited until after nine eleven. Evan well this kind of like some more like later on the new movie that explored. Well hold on that. That's like the twist that's the biggest. I'm not going to overview. Oh actually yes right on. Oh don't you don't WanNA order. I know you gotTA gotTa build up to it. Even though there's no fucking story yes so fat Albert. Yeah like they here they hear this little girl. I guess Kyla Pratt. She's he's in high school they hear her she's like I don't have friends and fat. Albert's like her could be your friend and ally for the movie. He like like comes out of the TV like he region. I don't doubt it is his name Mash mouth. Yeah Mush Mouth Marshmallow. Much Talk Guy Talk. Yeah like half of them are like You know have some sort of like deformity right. But then one of them. His whole thing is just that he's a tall guy. Yeah Yeah Eh back then that was a deformity. Now they're Chad's but back then they were here he comes back in two thousand four back back in the seventies yeah so they come out of the TV and she's like. I don't know what to do with these. The Fat Albert became real will and grace. Now I think the school with me. Yeah no houses. And they're all in my my house and also like on the show like on Fat Albert the TV show. I guess like what this show is now missing the missing the characters but continues to air on. TV It's like a WHO was. It's like the very small child is left alone in the junkyard. Relentlessly by the villains of of the FAT FAT Albert. TV show. That's so everybody watching fat Albert at home in this universe a new thirty minutes. It's a flag just watching this child. Get torment child's being tormented every day fat Albert really turned yeah. I don't remember this at all and thirty minutes of getting bullied a lot every episode. He's begging he's backing. Please come home home please. I need please come home. And so he's like yes. This boy is getting bullied in the TV TV. Meanwhile the girl meanwhile hanks fat Albert Albert and all his friends to the schools school and they meet. She has like a sister or stepsister. Yeah I don't understand it. So was she. Fat Albert is immediately in love with her sister. High School this school. He's forty forty years old older. Really if you yeah fifty seven or something. Yeah he's like I mean from cosby. Did right South America Eric or something. It seems like she might be adopted in the movie but they don't really talk about it now. I think I think she's just like no. I'm serious accident accent sister. I think so. I don't think so. That doesn't sound right. Just highs do edit out my race. They slept in the same room. That's all you need to know their sisters. They're real sisters so yeah so fat. Albert matters wants to fuck the system and he wants to fuck the sister. He's so they go to school with the girl and immediately like all the teachers are like all right. I guess like I have eight students in my. I guess I'll just fine Okay this guy. Fat Albert Students. Yeah he has a you know his friend. Mush mouth offers His whole thing is that he does it he. He can't sorry I almost don't even want it to. Yeah Yeah it feels offensive. Even though it's not like that's right it's not language not av e that he's doing he's doing evie. Let's be clear. Yeah let's be clear this guy that wears the Nokia's well of course that's what we're talking about. It's like what it's GonNa make sense. He wears a hat. That's far too big for him with two holes cut out for his house. It makes sense in the cartoon a tune but they do like a literal version. It looks like in the movie. Yeah because he can't take his mask well he's like afraid to take his mask not mask his hat off because he doesn't know what's underneath breath in the real world also by the way. Yeah you've mentioned a house. We hates famously. Hated AV pants and pull up your pants yeah. He's he wanted to voice. Ah pull up their pants not really though rapes fine. There's there's like a villain at the school. There's a guy that also wants to fuck the girls ages fat Albert to array race in Fat Albert. Beats Him in the race fast fast beats him really he beats him and that was like that's kind of like the. I think the first moment of the school where you're like okay. Like damn like fat Albert is is from the cartoon world with a girl by the way if he's like lonely and stuff and she's like all have is this cartoon. I wish I could hang out with these seem nice and the move number wise like we're all going to like Essa that's where we WANNA do. Fat Albert and the whole gang runs a train on the media to meet you about by the West so all remember Labor cartoon characters become real Fokker sister. Yeah but but fat. Albert's like a cartoon so he can't feel pain ultimate athlete and so it'd be a marvel. Yes but they mentioned that he said something in the movie. They're like oh but we can't take our clothes off because we don't they're like attached to our bodies underneath but then they do but at first they don't have genitals so this is how it's reverse reverse pleasantville thing because they come to the real world and they get more real they grow Dick and balls calls the whole kit down. There was not with you guys when you watch this movie. I've not seen it so I can't tell if you're joking has like they grow penises. No that's wrong because they struggle with sexual desire and they don't understand it they don't understand the lust in their loins. Yeah yeah but it's happening. Okay another weird thing that happens is over the course of the movie. They get wider remarks. Meeting there's taste taste start fading. I realize we're not built for this world we're GONNA disappear and also there's the DVD TVD store for some reason there's a massive poster advertising fat Albert on Dvd a massive poster. That's like fat Albert the complete series on DVD and at no point. Is anyone at school like those guys from. It's a common. Everybody immediately is like I mean they're not immediately welcoming of fat Albert But ed no point do they question everyone is welcoming the one guy that also wants to fuck the sister. Yes just like underground like nobody's ever. I heard of it. You know and east or seems to hipster that rule. Yeah and so. Eventually there's a block party and the school bully. He's like Nick. He's like he gets on a Mike at the school at the he liked tries to our fat Albert Right. You're so fat. Yeah he's like fat. Albert is so fat. And everybody's like Oh he's like why don't you get up here and spit some bars. Ars in Fat Albert comes up and then everybody loves his song. They're all they're all dancing around. was the bully the special celebrity cameo. Oh others Aaron Carter. I assume Aaron Carter's like fat. Albert's classmate and he's he's he's the guy that's like. Wow these guys are weird. But he's Kinda cool looking on the IMDB and Aaron Carter's here and Carter's this character doesn't do any no none of the characters do anything. Yes nothing happens in the movie. There's there's like no conflict until like the last fifteen minutes and and that's like surprise conflict dying because they're not in the teeth and so eventually like they they they're like sort of coming to terms arms with like. Oh like fuck like I'm GONNA I'm GonNa die if I stay in the real world like I. My only place is fat. Is the FAT Albert Universe. It's fat Albert goes to Bill Cosby's house. Bill cosby played by himself. He like shows up at Bill Cosby's house and he knocks at the door. Bill cosby opens the door and he faints and then like he's like Oh Awali he's real the hell doesn't just assume this is some deranged cost player. Real man coming to visit him lake. Ah Yeah there's a guy address like fat Albert really dislike the real fat Albert is Goddamn like Albert became real and he's out my house. My shows up in this house in stand and he. Then that's when we find out that this girl is actually bill cosby's granddaughter. He says yeah that's why you could come out of the TV or something like that. Yeah because you're related to that girl. So she means something to you or she was like Fr- right he was friends with your grandfather was friends. But that's kind of like her grandfather. Whom Fat Albert was basis basis? So he wants to fuck his granddaughter. Sister that's like that's lovecraft the end. That's like a horror jokes in this movie. That's kind of horrifying a writer. I mean there Show up your family. Yes eventually they they make it they make it back into the TV right. They say they're goodbye like He. He makes peace with Bill Cosby and she hugs fat Albert. The girl and she says I remember I know why you're so familiar to me now. Yes you're my GRANDPA. It's because you were based off my grandpa and he says she's like I love you. Fat Albert Yeah. Yeah and then you for being my friend days with like thank you for my grandpa the of the real fat Albert. Yeah he knows. The girl was sad because her GRANDPA who was fat. Albert's like soul. Oh Yes had died before the movie started. This wasn't really explained that the movie until area and at the very end you see a grave. That's like fat Albert the Albert Johnson or whatever and then it's a shot of like every all of his friends who were the other Based off of guys they're all close to death but fat Albert is I because I okay. Yeah the movie ends with the real death of fat Albert and like his gravestone so was fat actually related. You did and how is bill was Bill Cosby is supposed to be the real fat Albert. No Bill Cosby's all of the other guys Saito friend. Yeah Okay House be. Yeah now bill because he never fat Albert was like a spirit cartoon is a manifestation of Bill Cosby. Yeah Fat Albert is a Topa. Did you see that video of him. Walking out of court no. It's video of him walking out he was like walking out of court. And like you know there's a bunch of like you know reporters and photographers whatever. And he just goes her uh-huh lately the last endorphin rush of his entire life saying. Hey Hey hey outside of that courtroom dude I. I'll I'll never forget. The one of the weirdest moments in my life was I was sent on of really is doing a really bad video job early out of my career. You know where I was just like trying to make some money and I was in freaking Alabama weird part of Alabama in a holiday inn or something like for one day and just straight up the whole time just like do where the fuck am I what am I doing. I was finally able to leave in flight was at like six. AM So I was up at three thirty in the morning. Trying to check out of the hotel and get my receipt and there's a person taking a long time in front of me he turns around. It's fucking Bill Cosby. Aw He's Super Bowl really. Yeah like not that long ago and it was just like in town for a Gig. He's in jail now so I don't know what he was doing in Alabama probably had a Gig he he did he booked playing a lot. Yeah but it was like such a you know I didn't. There was one person I saw that I recognized at all and it was bill cosby. Yeah in that lobby at like an unholy our literally three thirty in the morning shake his hand and say hey Mr Cosby huge fan fan. A uh-huh oh yeah. I heard a somebody told me a story about bill cosby like having like these. This like young actress over for dinner and like it was. She brought her friend like this like nineteen year old actress. Yeah and like. She had dinner dinner with like she had dinner with Bill Cosby and Like I guess like they. I don't know how he like found out about it or whatever. But she's like at dinner at his at his house and It's just him in like these two girls and the like chef or whatever which by the way whoever the fucking chef is should probably get indicted to diet to me. That's like I just realized that he was he mixing the drug. It's all so I. Well that's how the he fucking drug these foods and drinks. It was with drinks and so it was well. This is it was him. He was mainly chicken pot pies with roofing literally. I don't know if that's true. No literally like he He was like with Oh they they were about to yes. This is crazy so like they're sitting down and and she's like Oh you you like you know my dad and he like bill cosby was like Like Oh what ah like. Oh what now like I thought you were just some like you know just some like nineteen year old girl. And she's like she's like Oh you know my you know my dad hat and he was like it was like kind of like startled by this information and they were like talking about him for for a little bit and then he like turn turned to chef and was like hold off on the soup. Ovalles I don't not really a funny story. No there's your right they should indict this shows. You joke about how the chef was poisoning. The Shit Yeah story was just that it is that the shaft should be in jail. Bill Cosby's chef should also be jail. Yeah is that fucked. He's up he's giving them like. Yeah rape soup dude crazy. That's the case. Like you would think I know. I hope I hope we don't have more information than the FBI. Whoever is conducted the because I don't think this is like That's like not a story people now. I mean there's a clip from the cosby show probably the viral by now where he's just like at a barbecue and he's you know saying thank God. I put that love potion soup dare and we're GONNA make love to nine. My wife and everyone is like getting sleepy on the show. It's just like are you joking. No I'm not joking real. He has like that whole standard bit about Spanish fly leaky. That was like a big those. I was like clip that he was doing this for decades. Yeah it was a long running. Yeah I always say like a whole Santa bit about Spanish fly like man. There's a drug that will make women go to sleep. You can just fuck like why are we. Why are we all you know where where we all fucking these women so much? No I mean I think he was where that's just not. There were a punchline. Because he's you know I mean. This man was telling people villa. pull up their pants and doing this. I know this man just discovered the economic code for sex. He was really really good at Connie. My God But yeah he's a crazy story. Yeah it's so often the soup hold off on the seat. How much do you think that telephone game to you or is it pretty direct? It's via it. was I say who it was from. A very like the source is a very big person. Big Source Yeah Bill Cosby. I mean we got I guess bill from stories that later I mean we've had classic one that might be confirmed harder later. Yeah about somebody S in their own D. That's that's that's one one. That's a fun one. Yeah but that's that's yeah that's insane. Also I mean just to circle back to the FAT Albert Movie. It seems like they committed. I feel like they didn't Think that this movie is sell that hard so they on the DVD cover at least the the pages peeling back and it's bill cosby and it's like from the mind if bill cosby the amount of the poster well because that was that was bill cosby had was clouded was was very valuable like literally really like bill cosby himself for years. I was like yeah. That's one of the best show in every decade. He had he had kids say the darndest things. Fat Albert Albert in Little Bill Little Bill. Yeah Matthew Revisit Little Bill to yeah. There's Louis the bill drugs as parents. Jesus I find that you have pulled out ever know them anyway. How do we put a positive spin on that? I don't know what he I mean. It'd be dead in two years. You know yeah it would be crazy to go jail that old. Yeah Yeah should've gone in like jared age if I have Bill Cosby came into the prison prison. Where I was at A? He'd be the guy beat up going to impress everybody by beating up on eight. Yeah your weekend we get YTM ND guys at all dog. Yeah I remember like in in six in like middle school like eighth grade ninth grade. I remember loving Cosby bebop down. YTM Andy Dot Com. It was the cosby. It was the cowboy bebop Song Song but like the Bill Cosby Zubay Bob. Yeah you remember this yeah. Of course I remember like on Toon Zone which we've talked about at length before. Yeah this one Erdos. It's not even the bill cosby clips from like the simpsons. Family guy a breath. Yeah I love this early some classics. I remember the guy. Hi who made that. Who made that I remember? He was a he posted on toon zone dot net. Oh my God most likely just some kid lying to you know it definitely definitely was made that. I don't think that was like it was definitely him lemming. I was but I remember like like dealing with him like like that. Felt like I was like damn I'm like talking royalty that was at the first celebrity You ever hobnobbed up to. Yeah that was you know. Yes name my first You know my my My my first brush with clout. You're like how do I get bigger on. YTM Yeah Really Yeah Uh. TMD why was I loved it. It was so funny to me. Most of it didn't age super well. No that was around. The era of hamster dance not it was a lot. Yeah like you know. A lot of it was just a web page. Jagai stole my bike so a lot of guys still your the Guy Stole my bike. Oh Yeah Yeah. I don't remember those old. Remember the ones that are still today so the reason the ones about guys stealing your bike. Some couldn't tell you sound familiar just never I had a bike. Yeah the ones about it. Just you know some guy. Stealing your bag sucks talk if that happens. Yeah yeah yeah well none of us know. Yeah Yeah I forgot remember. Remember Mr Skin Dude. Of course I remember Mister Skin. Do I was like aimed at the listeners did you yeah. Do you guys know about the listeners. The people know what Mr Skin is. I it's your skin was in in Lake Fuck in movie. Yeah he was in in now for something or forty year old man knocked up like a guy came up with the idea and then they said Oh they already have that idea and he said fuck and I was like a whole plot. Line those a whole plot line is that he accidentally invented he. He made Mr Skin and it was Mr Skin still around. What's that is still around? Yeah it's still around. Can you pull that up you would have cacophony. Police pull up. Surprised hasn't been phased out by technical technology. And what you WANNA do as Mr Skin pop in. I WANNA see some skin there you go. Yeah that we've got. Who is that? Anya miskin right there. It looks like a lot right now. Oh heard wild inside freed all naked AAC it. Oh that's the witcher. The hottest nude comers of twenty nineteen. Okay okay the most nude people in one Male immediately Sydney Sweeney on the front page really. Don't switch US backed the theme here. Yeah no they they like. There are no articles it's just naked. Isn't Chen Dan Rutz Celeb- well this is like the news for nervous loved. It's like but it's like softcore perverts. Caesar really interestingly cities literally guys like jacking backing off to scenes from our rated movies entry level. When you were like yes when you were young that was like the only thing you could imagine jerking often? Yeah Titanic just straight up like titanic. Yeah just seeing a tasteful nude scene in that movie that was a big Yes thank you very formative thing for people that weirdly not not for me. What was yours Bouza? I'm surprised we have. We've talked about this but I forget my first ever nude body. The first movie came out. Yeah I don't like I. Yeah I was. I was too young for that. I had no interest my for the first dishonest email forum naked tits or mail or mail. Whatever nude adult you saw I I yeah I just tell a story about getting molest two hundred? Two hundred episode molestation reveal special. This is this is the molestation episode. This is the yeah. I just You are you still are kind of like telling stories if it's a funny joke guys on camp. Yeah Uh Dude he comes in. He's like yeah. Oh yeah this yeah this. You can't tell anybody about this. Yeah okay. I'm telling you I'll tell tell it everybody on my podcast Sir fully like yeah like having processed. Yeah I think it's funny. Yeah so he comes in right. Yeah he's like okay. Yeah Oh okay oh I got it okay. I got to touch now. I haven't even I. Have you ever seen a dick before. Okay and this is my first time seeing Pete it is. This is my first time seeing somebody else's penis and now I gotta now I gotTa suck it buddy. I don't know how to do you know if you could say anything in that voice. Yes do the standup comic vocal tone. What was the what was is it though is the I knew I knew? I don't know I honestly. It's kind of weird that I don't remember my first time. That is crazy. Yeah because I don't Oh I don't know is well you have to think about this. Yeah you of all people I know because I've flakes talked about a lot of like horny history stuff. I mean honestly I don't know if it was even in a Even movie I think it might have literally been like probably like your mom. I haven't seen my mom. Sits Hits University. MOM's baby you're remember. Do you remember your mom. Sits client of yeah. He needed. Describe them to me. There were like pretty red. I think they're pretty right. Reddish lake the writer shade of Pink. Yeah like the brighter sheet of brands. Get a little to work out like what kind of but like what size are they suck. They were really bad. Please don't think about really gross. How how gross? You're still dodging goes. What's that first time seeing a nude body in cinema or anywhere I like I literally don't remember I think warned? But that's event that early like memory. Yeah I think it was literally like I think I accidentally saw a I think I accidentally saw porn internet or something. Yeah Yeah I think that was like my first time seeing like a new new breast on a screen like. I don't think it was in a movie. Damn yeah I mean so yeah I I think I think that was those it I mean what what about you sable from WWF wrestler. Oh Yeah Utah leaves. How you've talked about the titanic? After that yeah sable doesn't really count because the image was like forty pixels big. Yeah and we had to log onto my friend. Brian's MOMS AOL account into settings off. Yeah look at. It took a full two minutes to load this aim. Oh Wow twenty eight K.. Dial Up Internet is awful. There was like twelve. Twelve boys crowded around this compaq presario computer trying to load this image literally like a thumbnail image. Yeah like what we we had now. Consider a thumbnail at the time of his premium. Quality Graphic. Yeah but yeah. It looked like it was her two pixels. It didn't look anything did you who NUKEM quality you drill to map Mine's probably the worst one will. My parents are rented revenge revenge of the nerds together. And it's basically a movie were a bunch of nerds do sex crimes. Yeah Tire. No there's like the triumphant didn't seem like a scene that is so that you watch. Now it's literally rape honest to God rape. Yes but yeah. They do that but they also put like cameras in the women's dorms and they show like full-frontal and my parents were there knows how old were you like. Say I was probably like nine or ten. Yeah Yeah I mean they probably thought it was like a funny movie about nerds show. I'm wearing a pocket protector. ooh Yeah wait. So that's like as seen in revenge of the they put cameras women's doing sex crime. Yes yeah hundred guys by the end of the movie but it's not changed and when the movie ended today like take like Hey So you know those were like crimes. Don't do no they just You know so oh boy you look at all of those movies like that. Yeah yeah there's like sex crimes although they do a concert at the end and the world forgives them because they're good at music yeah they play. Don't work works. Yeah that's life. Can you say number. One of the first things I typed into. The browser was like turds dot com terraces only word and it was the scat website. Oh uh-huh Naked Shit. Oh and it had the tagline. The tagline for the website was check. This shit out check haven't seen regular porn yet no so I didn't know it was supposed to be erotic. Even I just thought it was like A. It's like brutality almost yeah just like people covered in Shit. Well the I like porn website that went around me and my friends was like gag. Porn website called big sausage awesome pizza dot com big tobacco. Yeah you know. The Gimmick is just like the guy says I got a nice hot pizza for you and then the lady opens the Box Fox and every single time. It's just Dick coming out of the pizza. Yeah and she says okay start sucking it. And that's how it works. Hits Hat had its own website dot com. You don't remember that. That was one of them. was that similar tub girl and like those shock. Say Okay Okay but it was like Porno. It was like a porn company. They'll do different videos low porno gimmick. You don't remember big uh-huh aware of that Gimmick. Yeah I'm I'm in one. Yeah Big Bro. We had I had like a my middle school years when I just saw all the bad stuff literally take my friends bus home every day. Every apparently like three days of the week. I'll go there and we have a routine. We'd like get on his computer. You're in the basement. Download like fucked up videos lime wire whatever watch people dying Olympic stuff was scarred. Unlike the rotten library learned a lot about the world. Yeah I mean yeah theories and what I was saying so we had watched we had done little little the fucked up videos and then there was like we discovered at some point like this barn. And I'm it might have just been like a company like literally like a warehouse for some company but for us it was like do. We found an abandoned barn and we have break in there every day and like steel machetes and then just go like what we did this for months before the the time we were like kids so we like to. Who would leave this like barn locked but in a way that we could still? We're definitely just. I think we're stealing from a company any but we had a ton of is like crazy stuff. There was never any incidents I think there was eventually like somebody came in like yelled at us. Oh but I I just mean like you're just found can weapons cache. We got injured at one point because we got in a fight with like tape rolls or something like throwing duct tape rolls the other throwing duct tape rolls at each other. Yeah I mean that's pretty mild when you talk about like they're heavy we'll could have happened with the fucking machetes. We weren't Michetti fighting chopping stuff. That's like kind of old school minecraft. That is very like I mean honestly kids should be playing with. It should be doing more being ease. Yeah I did Dane Cook and being here or is that just the term the term. Okay that's damn the Lens of calm really really one of the dumbest things I've ever so Probably shoved thing. I've really showing your five dumbest things I've said on this podcast. This is assuming that Dane Cook invented calling breaking and entering beanie because he had an EBA and nobody would have thought thought of that before being. Well it's kind of like what what I was a child. I thought that I invented calling vocabulary vocab. Is it like in first grade. I remember like writing vocab and be like damn I really. I'm finished with the word fucking did at something and I was just like I remember like talking to my friend being like yeah man like instead of vocabulary say vocab where you're trying to get started on this we're trying to you're trying to make it amazed like Oh man this is going to catch up but yeah I guess yeah I mean Jesus Christ young influence influence or vocab popular We were you Mr Hans got all we mean Mr Hans Guy. Nobody's really Mr Hands Guy. I mean he's been video. Mister is the mister hands. You know he died. I I know there's a whole documentary. Yeah Yeah I've never watched the documentary and the audience. Won't you explain what this is. Oh for the listeners. At home I mean ah or the hands monster. What makes you think most the new about Mr Hans? Everybody knows about Mr Hans fairly talking about bigger than Iran. Komo like everybody knows about these shifts like like Indonesia you they don't know about it handles international. Yeah definitely yes thank you miss. Your Hands Explains Liberty Guy Getting he gets fucked by a horse. It's a night vision. Cam of a guy getting mounted from behind by a horse. The horse his Fox him to death very huge in like. And if you watch the video of the Horse fucking the guy and you should. You'll actually see his stomach like bulging. NGOs yeah literally like rear. Think they should watch rearranging his guts. Did he die from that video. Ruptured assured his died a few days after the video online. Yeah revenge binge porn from the. Yeah yeah what the Hell Damn Bro. This ketamine got me feeling like Mr Hans for real. He's a man it's dude it's yeah I don't know I never actually watched it. I just knew kids that watched it. I I knew about it. That's like the thing is I was always very like I had my finger on the pulse of Mr Mr Hands. You weren't brave enough to watch. No I wasn't the brave enough to watch that but I knew about all of them right. I don't care about Gross Gore's stuff I hate those Gore. Yeah I don't want to see the Gore. I don't like that I mean it's what's funny is like some of the some of like the quote unquote shock sites Unlike the software and are like the least shocking thing ever now league Lebanon Turkey so mild shocks for just let him. Yeah literally wholesome. Yeah these old guy having me getting out of the house literally just like yeah. It's so wholesome it's nice. It's aren't people to hang out with like that when I'm old yes just like make it. Like one of them is just sucking his Dick and then the other two are kissing thing. Feel better at work right now. Wholesome so yeah it's really that's nothing compared to the depraved? Saved things that you know the other stuff lemon party rocks. Labour party's awesome. It's like really sweet. It was really a hove. Its time is ooh literally out of its top. Lynn Parties Woke No. Yeah no like eleven party is like nothing that. How was that? Ever a shock shock side. It's the leash as a good standard episode two hundred. Yeah yeah waited. What the fuck is wrong with people thinking again? That's a shock so that's nothing shocking about it. There's literally nothing shocking. Tub Girl. Tub Girl is kind of shocking. Yeah did you in shitting and into her face or something yeah virus and so long sitting in a tub and she's shitting on in her face. Yeah Girl Yeah Yeah. She liked wearing a mask or face. Yeah that was like people would talk of people would pull up. Tub Girl meets spend was the huge on might spin and was it's like. What was the song you spin me? Right baby yeah yeah and it was literally just a cock. Spinning libraries. Computers in my school always had that meets been going always been was was it literally just counted. How many spins counter that said how many spins watched and how many did his dick actually like spin physically spend? Yeah well yeah because he was getting fucked just flopping everywhere and we'd see he's getting it was a flash video yeah loop Sousa loop of a man getting fucked in the ass reverse. He's writing and his Dick is spinning spinning. So we're ready to say that one's also good. But he's digging spitting in a way that is. Is it like perfect circle. We can pull it back. Doc meet spin off and pull it up on my phone but still live dude. I Lake you being pussy. Let me see meet spin whereas I don't know if the original domain still it's not they might have let's go to the archive get taken over. Yeah I'm looking at it right now. This is nothing. Oh you got on this is this is a live live on it. They probably retired. Spin is not. What if somebody might be a millionaire off of meat spent oh absolutely like the fad revenue made? Meet spin is like do this is so I thought when I heard what meets been was is I thought like like when I heard about it like in high school. I thought that it was like literally like it's crazy. You haven't seen it. I thought it was like a deformed cock like spin the ball Sousse spinning also and stuff spin gets. I thought it was like some guys like fucked up. We're like nick. I thought it was like a deformed Dick Spinning it's literally just the Guy Getting fucked in the ass and it's like you barely see. You don't actually worse gifts than that on my timeline. In every day I think in my opinion. What's that all Dick's or deformed in my damn yes? Dot Com is worth twenty thousand dollars. Is this website. Says Damn if you wanted to buy it. How much twenty thousand? Apparently I could easily. Yeah he's fucking Mr Munoz get a a new car or like. Yeah that's all I can afford really. Yeah I mean it's been rocks so so clean so nice it's very i. I don't know there's something like are there any other shock sites you haven't seen yet. I mean the genuinely Lee shocking ones have just avoided. I never watched two girls one cup own really seen any of them. What's I know? Never saw any shock sites no none of the genuinely shocking ones. Because they didn't need to I didn't want to I. I knew about them. US knew about him. Your notes about Yeah two girls one cup came like after I was into seeing being the shirt so I never actually saw girls eating. poop there Yeah they shit into each other's mouths and they make the shit is in each other so you know what it is shit into the cutting everybody knew lake. It was a massive moment in the Zeitgeist. Yeah they just culturally speaking like Irish number like the shakers. Yeah Yeah I mean in like Middle School. I remember like I used to watch best week. Ever Two Girls One Cup on about my act was like a UH Michael Ian Black Hugh. That's actually Common Mistake he was not on best week ever he was in the. I love the blank series series. Okay but best week ever. I remember that was like it was like flavor flav well. It was same era. No best week ever was lake. AAC Doug Benson Paul Tompkins John Mullany. We're Nick Kroll. They should they should bring that back they did. And and then people didn't like it. Oh Yeah I was being facetious. They shouldn't bring no. I would if they brought it back and they let you be on it. I mean wow what a good gig. Yeah Yeah that's my that's my that's an ultimately just my that's my fucking easy gig like three jokes like Whoa. Oh yeah that guy was being weird. Yeah you just have to say it in a way that they WANNA use. Yeah Yeah I would not want that in my mouth the perfect I hate it. Yeah your poop is Damn poop will make the sex ness. Uh that was. That was the Man Did you ever read that like rappers on anal sex thing. No they started this. We started early two thousand three double. Xl they surveyed surveyed every every like the US bureau ray surveyed like every big rapper at the time and ask them how they felt about anal sex. I forget who it was. I think might have been nate. Dogg but he had said YUCK POOP who makes the sex nasty I mean yeah I mean little Wayne had had a great quote where he he said vis-a-vis sexy said he said Birdman told me that anal sex is only for your main grow. Let's just say I've had a lot of girls have had a a lot of girls thus far that's awesome pretty good time waiting folks a lot of women in that respect. Yeah you know I I've Yeah I haven't I haven't done that you haven't had a main girl I haven't I haven't had a main girl I mean. Yeah I don't know I man or do you think you're ever going to get pegged and your life. No me neither. I doubt it. I doubt it. I don't wait until everyone else answered. Yeah I hate it now. I I wouldn't do it I don't know about getting maybe A. There's a lot of things on my to do list of things to do in life. It's not like I'm even necessarily against it. It's just so low on the ranks Portland. I've never been to Portland. We haven't been to Portland yet. I'll do that at lead before the same amount of difficulty you got or you go to Portland you get pegged or you bungee jump play. I mean bungee jumping towns way better. I've never even that either I. Oh maybe here's here's what you gotTa do Jack is maybe you're you're afraid of being pegged. I wouldn't say I'm afraid of you. WanNa do your friends do. It was the subtext of if it were happening to you. But you didn't want it. Yes that was just. It's like this is the subject that you WanNa get pegged. We all WANNA get pegged. The Anus is sort of the center of pleasure for men. There's IT unlocks a new level of pleasure that we haven't experienced yet. You're like the Jordan Peterson of anal. But here's what I'm thinking. Maybe maybe I agree thing about the assholes that it's the one thing that men and women both have. Yes yeah. That's that is our universal reversal truth and it is a great equalizer and so this is sort of something I was thinking about. Maybe he's and so maybe right so you want it. You're thinking about like. Oh maybe I should get pegged but you haven't been pegues right so maybe what you do you it kind of. Just start yourself off easy. Your girl wears a strap on and then you just suck it. Oh yeah well if you just jammed uh-huh yeah more of it easier way you touch your strap on your like your so hard baby. Jacking backing off a plastic second on plastic for a little bit. And then and that. And then that up silicone technically warmed up for having a fake Dick in your asshole. Well they say it was like the asshole the face. Yep because it's the one hole that men and women both have down. Yeah yes yes and stuff like that. Yeah yeah that's true them. Yeah I love it I mean I got a man we've talked about. The we've talked about the flashlight. Move Right it. You know if you're like a true if you're just like a true feminists that does like loves eating eating pussy right you just like you buy a flashlight just like go down to it I scream yeah yeah just be like Oh man like I'm just I'm just getting in reps apprentices. Yeah this is what this is. This is a good move if you're if you're like a long distance relationship is you you like like your girl. Let's say you're in La. Yeah you're on Cam Yeah You well. You don't even have to be on facetime with her. You can just kinda like send her videos like you guys are sexists teller. I think this is a good move is like your your girl. You're in a long distance relationship right. You're like like censor like a hot sends you like hot photo. Her like topless or whatever and then you send her videos going down like going crazy on a flash absolutely yeah wild Do take notes. Yeah Oh aw. They have the limbless rights. Just they have the lip flashlights to. Oh Oh yeah if you like kiss if the ones that are shaped like feet but have a policy in the middle of Oh yes yeah they have. Yeah Yeah Oh they got it. Feel like. That's some shit where it's like. That's not. Even like speculative speculative that's like fantasy league. Yeah yeah they're going to all kinds of new body parts. Crafty sex lovecraft in. Yeah you guys smart. Yeah I know him yeah. He loved the record. Ten P lovecraft Dude Harry Potter lovecraft. Yeah I know about dogs name. What cat wasn't it didn't like just right up the N.? Word it was in. He's in word man. Was It really a known racist. His CA was a black cat. Yeah I mean that's why you know that explains Lanes He he didn't give it to a CALICO. There's a reason that I don't agree with is is a reason behind the mad. He named his CAL. HP lovecraft there's a reason he's like the joker they just named it added inward man. Yeah my most twisted idea yet. Just them do Anyway okay so we we we took. We took a break. Sadly we got you know just took like beverage break for a second but we were kind of discussing the you know. I've got this wording this on a Sunday night right before my show and maybe you know maybe we adapt the flashlight bit to the stage tonight but like a theatrical play lake theatrical but may maybe maybe we go prop sil- yeah. Yeah maybe I buy. We still have enough time. It's it's only about five thirty. Got Those three hours I target and get your flesh. You and I had like ten. Open Tanno an open flashlights. I mean I I think I talked about this on. Say Not on the pod once there is some there is some comedy festival in Austin. Where like a a flashlight was one of the sponsors and so like every comedian on the festival got a free flashlight but then because of that like there were fifteen comedians at once like fifteen like prominent comedians? That all had like a like congruent flashlight. Bit All of them had like a bit about like. Yeah so I did a comedy festival where they gave me a free flashlights. All of them were like all doing this bit at one. And then it's you know and then that's drama this drama in the community. They never they never where they were making out with the flesh line. I I know exactly where. Where's the innovation and? Yeah where's the this. This is why podcasts are great. Because you can birth new who I d a wild west free form freedom movements. Yeah I mean now you're GONNA go. You're going to the new philosophy. He didn't make a Sunday. You need to get ice cream and whipped cream and like yes. Awesome needed out the flashlight on stage. Oh yeah do that kind of subversive gross body Freddie highmore code. Yeah so that's that's just me girls love it. When you eat a young girls girl comics love like eating Gro- shit onstage? Age appropriate that from them right and they'll play go go Sarah squirm style. You know there you go. Yeah and the Yeah Be Nath ask just be messy flashlight. Subversive guess what ladies men can be nasty to it was yeah. We're not just these pretty angels. That House show up at our best dress you know. Oh boy all right well you wanna like eat or something. That's a good amount. I feel I'm what else episode right now. Yeah Yeah you know we just say goodbye we can. Just I mean Dan you got any folks no true my shit I already. Yeah Yeah plug trees. I mean they can watch it. If you live in San Francisco please come to. SF Sketch. I on the twenty fourth and the twenty fifth. Okay January twenty fourth. I'm GONNA BE DOING STANDUP at Swedish American Hall in January Twenty Fifth. We're going to be doing doing a live pod at Gateway Theatre Journal is going to be there for both those and more more guests So come out. January twenty fourth and twenty. Fifth at sketch fest. I think that's that's all plug west And Watch TRUTH POINT DOT com. We're GONNA have a soda about Disney Disney really. y'All love Disney. Get to the bottom of it. Didn't get to the bottom of it so tune in tiny. Thank you for listening everybody but.