Episode 11: Jessica Mauboy

Automatic TRANSCRIPT

The story of Australia's First People's is the oldest continuing human story on it this podcast series presents a collection of this people's voices sharing their experiences achievement cripes and beliefs these of the real stories of Aboriginal and terrestrial Australia. Hi I'm Mary Santa and your listening when you are so busy when you off flying so much and you've kind of you know you've done that Gig that day you then fly to the next destination to do and I I remember very in detail of I remember feeling speak of that list you know I definitely excites me because I feel I still feel a sided I remember feeling around like I was hired and you know my first time gigging around and playing museums another game that spin prepped and ready for you so it would like from sixteen from idle at the age of sixteen to about twenty five because I just felt like it was still felt like a dream it was really surreal to me and and getting that particular gig was was uh-huh and singing to different audiences around here in Sydney was something that it was almost pinch me pinch me moments I am a little we're going to behave today and not show I was thinking in preparing to have a chat with you today about times that we've had walking down to the way we speak and we use that body language so it was I felt at home completely and it was the first time in a while having mood it's something that I really genuinely love and I wake up already thinking and inspired of what I'm going to ride and hearing melodies and Atakli feeling like I need to be studio to record them and it's and I think I've always had that as a little girl so yeah again hearing those list of things I I'm I'm only now I feel like I'm really now being able to acknowledge them and and celebrate them which is so funny in a way but curtain all of the songs album it's crazy to to see that visually you know when you when you having recorded two three records in between not only done you know a few brand new day CEPHAS and had been recorded over the years and I think one of the first times would have been the deadliest yes yes I do remember that was our very first connection well so that's and I think you know we'll identity with shape and form and to the way all Erin me to two doing two doing music and to be writing it and to be performing it and to collaborate music I interview with you and be able to do this and have a yawn and I don't know just the extension of I dunno where we're going to go with this and we're going to take me but is it and and just embrace all of these things that happen so quickly and with so much fun I mean I was just being with family I catered for the whole event I pretty much Set everything up from the in joining it I I I think but not really registering it if that if that see anything absolutely and I think allowing ourselves I don't know what it was going to be I I didn't know what to expect so I ended up celebrating going back up to the north from Darwin to Sydney that I'd felt hyme because it was the lusophone Gig for me it was like I'm away from him yeah for the first time I feel a lot of people felt at that moment and so I I really yeah like I said I really feel like I'm now being able to access and review friends that kept asking you know this is what it's going to feel like this is what it was like for me so it kind of built up this expectation of I saw you obviously knows about Australian idol dot and then you removed and you become this big artist albums down about to come out you know you'll confidence has grown studio record for that it happened so quickly and so fast that was never really in the moment I was never had been given that opportunity to really celebrate absolutely my deeper dream you know performing tomorrow mob performing to my community the ones you know me really well and that I really a of my immediate family and my partner's family and WE I set it up vertically straight towards the about the deadliest and the kind of spice that was created in there and that was such lovely memories that we hold very dear hots and it Spain at such journey for you in San really it just felt great if it really great to turn thirty and having done everything that I dreamt of the possibly want was right in front of me and Sergei checked up but it was such a moment of wow I couldn't ask for anything better the long trestle tables to the what kind of sheets that covered the the tables and there were about twenty starting again something new something fresh and and yeah so we all kind of like in linen and we sat there and it kind of makes you reflect a little bit ten thirty this year fourth of August how are you a hesitant and you're like in an bit of a cliff line that you can sit and watch under the trees there and watch the water either you know go out the teas rolling down and I'm looking at mom of looking at Dad and I I think I think it was mainly a moment of just reflecting in that whole seven-minute moment yet was really overwhelming but I will say felt this kind of rush of exciting Oh you know come back in and that's exactly where the sunsets so the sunsets ride into right into the water and it we had seven minutes and I was with my emily and I did Austin if we could all way why and I don't know if it was like I just felt this purity this kind of sense of I'm making the music that I wanna make and I have been on the six year journey of creating this record which even at at that time I don't know what I'm going to call it so really what was the musical inspiration behind why now why did you feel ready yeah it was about six years ago and the first two years of the and so I'd you know I'd really also had given myself patients as well I had to really grace the soundtrack of the SAPPHIRES and so I've had so many opportunities to really play with my vehicles and my emotions and I meant of well there's so much more to look forward to and they're so much plenty you know there's so much time as well and and I get to do this right here with my family Dan Patty I'd say hang on a minute where it really is happening you I am I right and the funniest thing is that I had so many friends and an extension of the push my push the boundaries of Experimenting with music and want my relationship with music is and you know was and is now sixty s I I'd Kinda spent a bit of pressure pull applied pressure to myself because you know I had done the I recall the second on at the jetty there at Ni- cliff if you know of Darwin This is beautiful kind of shoreline and am as an artist what is my message what am I trying to achieve with this record and what is it going to do how's it going to affect and I'm all about effecting I love being able to make someone feelings and watched them like translate this story into my music and sing the songs back or Rokuro the third record in between you know had the opportunity to record be a part of the soundtrack rainy day soundtrack as well as no no no how the Sun's GonNa be trek listed I didn't even know what the what the what the ad is going to look like and that time really it was it was about picking and choosing to create this record and having that experience of working with so many collaborating with so many flicked that right in this moment it's beautiful thank you for sharing that personal story and it does feel like that you've been making us wait yes that's really and we know it's really in a groove to the songs I love to see that physic- physical emotion wither I'm up performing to thousands crowded thousands or you know Ah you know a group of forty two three people in the room like I for me it always comes down to the purpose what is what is my pip is the song that everybody wants you to ride T- you know it being the perfect song or being at the right season or there was I knew exactly who who needed and it it really hit me when I was sitting at home here in Sydney how how do I wanna move me to then be able to movie and that's what music then became for me in that in that six years I really needed to study watch the sun go down and I just had a bit of a cry actually and I think it was that my and I and I questioned myself I was like is this that being away from home about you know going up in in a small town and having to you know being so hugged in my Sydney House just thinking about asking myself those questions you know like who why you know and that being the kind of core structure of then you know it kind of share a who who was I then to my now in writing these feelings down you know what kind of experiences have I experienced whether it's love whether it's pain kind of the same thing really love Palley kind of situated in the same column happiness what is real happiness ring and kind of exploiting all offers like confetti so really kind of riding those things out during circles and almost kind of myself I really need to reeducate how I work and operate and who what kind of people I want in the room to who don't need yes it was you know what is celebration and what are those things mean to me so it was really kind of planning myself out in detail action times he's so underestimated and the older you get the more you go hang on a minute stuff and where's my moment to take a moment to take a deep breath and I think you know big Beth and I just cried I cried because I was not only thankful for what I what music had given me for those years from sixteen there's no but it ought into imitates life and you probably needed to digest it all and Phil what was the next step and this little pressuring coming out with another album all of those things matter to me and family say those activities are connected with my family and family scribbling on the pages and drawing things kind of like bursted like confetti because all emotion started to fill in all emotions wants INCI really kind of flipped it to I really need to really sit with myself and rediscover who age stagecraft really For so long that I had almost lost touch with what what actually saves me what actually keeps it was calling home was calling on that sounds crazy but I haven't been home for ages I'd been working I'd been flying had been doing you know you know experiencing things for myself and and crofting you know my my vocal ability my performance on state teach myself about patients in that you know it doesn't always work out to be that you write you write a hit song you know the me grounded and it was that I kind of disconnected with family and the things that I really love to do you know that the twenty five but also cried having disconnected disconnected myself from my family so it was kind of so many things that I had to kind of not only consume but then I had to then base it off than what am I needs and what am I by the environment you know with its soap water you know to the sands to the to the water holes to garner butch to hunting to guy fishing my parents were that for me and I wanted to be strong and courageous I wanted to be the greatest fishermen Michelle woman You know I wanted to be you begin to understand you understand yourself a little bit more were where I was a little bit backwards like for me knowing my family story and history about my mother that I found had that I had that I had soaked up that I had have them retail them this story so that I could understand mind better which was so weird because most people would think he'd get all these experiences in those activities kept coming up for me being high what is hiring and that's what I really needed to do was like and who she is a woman how she had to survive at such a young age and you know being married at fifteen and things that I discovered and mirrored hell life into my iron and that's it's kind of like you look up to someone you want to follow in their footsteps allows me to really make them make my choices to do and be the vessel but I need to be to create those goals or visions or better they need to hear it because they see it may feel it but I need to say something and it was truly about me spending that amount of time fulfiled me with such ease and unless lending is do I booked a book of to get high and I went hyme and you know I'd been taken that on board for my whole life and it was just that moment that I had to I had to re engage reconnecting time over over the next two to three years which allowed me to sit with mom and reshape stories and really understand you know and it was that day that one day that I sat with mom and it struck me because I'd been riding my name out you know like away deeper and I think that's what affected me Mason I guess allowed me to do music because I as a young as a young girl I'd watch her and great all the things that they had they had showed and shared with me physically and visually To the wise words and and that affected me over the years I always I would observe I would watch her unit cleaning up or listen to music or dancing around in the kitchen a bit of a tug of war I was at war with myself and it's sad in me and I just remember when I need to express this need to express in my family know this waistline Jessica healed him albarn a voice in that on every you know at school from when I was in high school to you know to signing things now as an adult your mother because I'm one of five girls and out of all the gills at that moment like why why me sued always used to tell us You know so you guys are lucky that you know you have me and you know that I get to teach you things because I never I never had a mother to lean on and what it would be like without my my vow anyone to not have have that I you know having conversations having yawns having Ottis come over and how how they would connect and that it yeah it really struck me but it's it's really struck me now like like I kind of love I'm in love with my name and I'm I'm I'm I'm really mother through the struggle through the pain through and these are things that were going to get me to write my music to be able to sit in the studio and be with my feelings you know she'd always tell us about you know I never had a mother you know I was ten I was ten years old when my mother passed away and she was thirty seven so we were both young aid and creative lamb of such a visual person like well what is my record gonNa look like it's going to have my full name or is it going to have my initials is going to be GMO have their mother and yeah it was just something that I you know I just sat there and I is it just kind of engaged and get choked up put on I asked to that and she she kind of looked to the ground and she looked up and she's like yeah now that I think about it you know when you were born I looked at ye I instantly saw my mother and I guess I just that you lost to when you're really young and this is me talking talk into moment in mom story is embrace the story that had come before me in the story before that in the story before that and and that's that's where it got really I guess really he's you know she was always kind of very classy mom would always used to say that China you know she was a housewife and that was the eight after that that was going to be purely about discovering myself through Nanna through how she always used to tie the two ends out and make it you know a crop like a crop top and with hair and lock to her because I really wanted to know I was fascinated but so emotionally fascinated and yes this woman you had Kurds and wasn't afraid to to embrace that she really embraced herself through these photos and she out of bullying my eyes out because knowing my mother's story about having never had Nanna I could never imagine I I asked her in that in that cup of tea has like why why did she named me off to you know what did you name me Hilda. Why don't you name me off to Kala's began the prices of of creating visually but hadn't had the purpose in the story hit and so is that one day that I met with mom over a cup of tea and the House and and I asked a mom my middle name Hilda be interested to know you you know why oar Hilda 'cause I know I know of Nilo but no so much about her and and I pretty much you know that was a job that was a working job looking after four four three of my mom's sisters and my mother but Tom Nana and and not being nanna being very much a part of me being a part of Nana always kind of you know do these hand movement kind of Kodak Moments in these in these these pitches and and every outfits on she would have these kind of long dresses and she always did this thing with with her blouse with a with it with thinking about the record was thanking now for allowing me to embrace everything that I have to really enjoy the woman she said you know I I looked at you and I I saw my mother's face and that instantly got me I knew that I was going to name whatever I was going to one of the fighters she did that so you kind of sent so felt through this Friday this kind of witty you know our sexy voluptuous ex- I knew exactly how I was GonNa tell the story and who I wanted on the project who I had trust in who I a hand wash their clothes Polish their she's and have them ready on the bid for school the next morning and so she had having it was a red lipstick it was a very kind of old classic gold twisted lipstick sensitivity to behind it because not only did I have my story but the rest of my sister wouldn't district God anything or doubt doubt my my mission with this record it that's what it was about really deep you know every day after that they with mom would go through the photo album and look at manner and they're mice fighters of hair just Stalin out with a she had structure she you know she loved having things in place but she also loved the nightline's you know she as you know it's very much a kind of a cultural process as well yeah did you feel a bit of that in developing absolutely and there was there was also kind of in creating it for the last six years it's really can hear it in your voice that it's obviously very personal at stepping into your power woman she lived quite a short live she was thirty seven when she when she passed so I I can't imagine if she was still alive case and every time Nana would apply this a Hilda would apply this mom knew that Nano is going out and that was her latte me thinking about her and her struggles and her her life and not so long live go and take pitches and things like that that I had I had nine about I was already doing and so it even much deeper uh mom would say that not always made sure that there was food on the table when they got home from school and she would make the gills wash their clothes Mom used to tell me every time she knew that Nana would apply this is a a an Im- a gold embroidered lipstick she's to the real podcast series in this episode I'm very pleased to be chatting with my good friend cookie. LNG Singer Songwriter. The One and only Jessica Malvo Hejaz and and it was it was really about that it was really about taking control having structure planning for myself that I I the woman that I've become and that I am becoming and it just made sense that I would name it often enough I would name it Hilton is my mom my dad and extension of the family and then they've you and they stories that they had thirst hands so I wanted to come from a point of view that I named this afternoon and I tell these stories because she allowed me to go deep with myself brothers and sisters so she had come from a lot of love song lines there and a lot of a lot of stories as so I wanted to Dave what that would look like and what that would feel like and for everyone Nano was Come from her you know we are who we are because of families in its original papal where you know it's who we come from that's who we I yeah working through Trauma Family Casino her and it was things like that that you know really you know like I I do that we might go friends so you know I love to I love to dress up and he also I can say my family in your story in vogue stay the voters and we get busy but and dedication in a way from my point of view of thinking Anna for allowing me to embrace the woman in my power what kind of power do I hold in the Salaam I that that I get to that I get to take on this road and it was that it was it was thinking about it creating something visual and in your mind and then an extension of the story that's how I wrote selfish of what I have my physicality my mind my voice the story and early I can do that and and gets to see and feel and here what she's been able to create and and the future of it is sufficient that's okay I think you know we or should have those moments in life where we we've picked those times to do that the so many songs I mean you know I want to mention a song called Selfish it's a song about being a little selfish in life Ernie I have the power to to hold that and and that's speaking on behalf of everyone we we have the power to pick and choose and I will continue to do that just because that's how I was brought up I was taught to give but I had to learn to also nurture and take care and I think that's what you know creating this song selfish was really about was about acknowledging embracing that you know I can be a little bit you know I I wanted to be just like that and living in today's world the access is just beyond and I think she would you know when I sit and think I think she would feel so proud that she is she's been able although she's not here physically spiritually she gets to live on aunties and uncles who tell me you know what she was about what she would do and how she would go about her day affected me because I'm being selfish about love because I think I know I've experienced how my type of person where I will give everybody everything and not putting myself in her shoes and you know and and a lot of the things that are things that she did you know a relationship that is you can see departing he can see it kind of separating but those two people that in and breaking tradition a little bit and and cultural views she she was horizon vessel and that's what I loved that she carried a lot of the stories that are goals in the family so you can definitely feel that happening at the same time now we've only heard little things so far is beautiful thanks cry probably these it that day but it's beautiful congratulations on the first one so what what else do they ever song tell us a little bit about kind of what we can expect beyond well hey yes it's a very rhythmic base that's so much fun and there's a there's another song called I wish you well wishy wells is pretty much an and that be for your self nourishment so selfish is really kind of a really playful song where you can get into yourself physically and you know there's a rhythm both no it was never gonNA work out but I still have love for you in a way that I still look at you with as you look at you with love basically so it's yeah it's basically don't care remember the last time I saw we're in love a still in love but in a way that they wish each other well you know like I wish you all the best in your life and it just we and on the rest of the journey there's another song I really love I'm going to say a song called jealous and this song as this song is Um but it goes I really want to show love it and you're not here is killing up try succumb to tell me you only will be by and it's almost like you still kind of wanting to tease him and make him jealous or make each other jealous you know vice versa you don't have room for this heard in my heart and imam would make me happy about you know the the first time over after the third day you with this guy and it's it goes both ways you know and I just felt like might and my experience of with my partner I remember I think it was like the fifth date and we ended up going to a club and you know just dancing and I was kind of just like creating these moves that up to dance with you and so that's kind of with the song stems from the cheek to it as the of that tongue in cheek that that that that that that does so it's it's it's a rhythmic base and and it gets your body moving and therefore the extension of then kind of spiciness about someone who just wants to just embrace everything about them they look to you know right down to you know they're they're expressing this little power in that song and I I love how fun and Oh you know who you some much easier just stay in bed to gate off again so my buddy and I looked Iva and he was watching me and I was like Oh wow and but it was this look of fasten fascinated and cheeky it is so I think it's kind of one of my favorite cheeky songs if ever written yeah go jealous yes look out for that one yeah I remember dancing make someone Jelly Jelly recondite shirt and compose it it's you know it does become something to share and I think that just like stories music has that ability this is in the world yeah and I think that's the greatest part about having having fallen in love with music in a way that it's exciting she absolutely proud of you feel her her but you can just feel the power comes through although and you from strong matriarchal line you know come with the experience of sharing that with music for music to then manifest that so yeah it is a fine Oh okay so I wish you were yes it's pretty much wishing you wishing the best for that person and come and dance with me and it was that moment of just like yeah made him a little kind of those jealousies kind of thing because as dancing by myself at one um the wonders of music and how it can really transform your moods and make you feel good and and Tom or the you know the confusion or you know the Anga the the happiness of all of those things really isn't all about me like it is about the experience in the moment but when when you kind of walk away from that experience in you you know you intrigued and and wanting to come over and dance with me and and I just remember I kinda just waved my hand and I said you know come wow I love that you come to life when you're telling these stories and that's really nice to have a one on one constant everyone must admit breaking and it's a fun thing to do and I've never really thought of that being a job I love being in the studio all the time a love being able to talk and express not that to create the heartbeat the kind of tempe the rhythm of the excitement that Adrenalin to the the ease in the car you know helping you to be able to distribute the whole record as a whole from track listing to the visuals you know it's it's like it's there it's like therapy for me as you know what we would call it in English kind of mind world it's physical to possess into hold and to to have for yourself again going back to telling your story I created this record from from me to you flea you to have out into song all the time sometimes it like the afterthought comes in like that so we knowing what do you do that because we want you to do that I feel bad about breaking effect you know when you the physical -ness of buying a CD because we love you love moving with the times and downloading but there's nothing quite like having something I work called blessing actually and there's just things in there that really captured moments for people to like nostalgia like those moments of you were because we could be happy how it was and this man would make me smile in it's been that day will that day it happened on Friday or at that time and you know maybe you were wearing something you know point and then he was just like and then after that I think he said something I thought you'd never ask is getting a bit jealous like you had an osteotomy that's the gift of music that you really get to connect with people and make them feel just as they are not allowed in their experience self encouragement and self believe and be brave and be confident and and know yourself so deeply that it's a K. to fall and get back up again stay with us at this stage it's really kind of go go go because you have such a wonderful team a whole building of a team worked betraying you so you've got a few favorite songs there but they're obviously all snowing loved them and it's so nice to hear that the universal kind of emotion taking control and and know that when I go at the to express it the I knife hand what this record is better than anybody else I guess make it come to life when when you are when you are buying a physical CD and I I'm still that I loved so that you know I can continue to to to talk and to share these stories in detail but yeah pretty much from now on it so it's songs in the studio is to create something visually and that's what I love about you it's not just about the music it's about your like in control of this he's like which is the images that allowed to dri greater to the mold in shape I think that's definitely what I'm currently working adding time for you now it's so lovely to hear about the albumin the process and we're just excited to hear when it comes out which is not too far away on the eighteenth of October Ella a Whitney greatest track and and to read all the people that helped bring the song together whether it's a producer a songwriter a it's really finalizing the details of Kala pellets to the fonts to the grading of the paper I know it's so crazy but those are the things that goes to CD's stores and and I've been up a you know Mariah CD perhaps so you know Britney spears CD I mean that's two different worlds but you know what I mean and and and and and songs that are in there about you know maybe maybe you don't want to pray for that person because they've heard you so much sonic that triggered but creating this record with a whole team has been magical for me a wonderful experience that I've I've been able to really Therapy yeah absolutely entirely relate to that end I will say let them use it kind of takes you to that place in time he was up I was there you know a a sound engineer to you know the people that create the paper or the front cover The you know the the now it it was great struggles to be able to tell my stories and I think that's where I felt really strongly about having the you know I've I've made you know I've had a lot of people try and rush the prices and you know I've I've I've found a voice to say bringing that up because that's always been a major a fight you know even in in in my industry with you know yeah well if you

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