#347: Hot Tub Time Machine (@BertKreischer, @SteveRannazzisi, @DanishAndOneill, @MarkNorm)

Automatic TRANSCRIPT

Com. Check check the fuck is it's recording it's recording. And according we all do you have all of us. Check check check. Check check. Check. Check to focuses first data right air. Jacuzzi the south. Got got us spot. Faded off of what she got. Club. Is something that is punch. We gotta jacuzzi. Away. Papers about a mob nine that we lost it. The latest. With a live. Right. So that's why we stayed tilling 'cause the waterfield fright tickets at a hat the stop up. I'm a need Spice Girl. That's doubling Cup. Bill. She congratulate for the Guinness like what? Very go. And we're on. It was weird. Welcome to ours. I got thanks Marsha fear sitting here with noted bodybuilder, Mark. Hey, great, dude. I'll talk about it. Really? I mean, it really might have been because with Sean Patton, Bert Kreischer next to to fat men. But nobody's thinking about body or Neil O'Neill's was rough pudgy. Yeah. Because he's skinny but he had the weird pregnant belly. Yeah. It's the opium stomach right there. Hit a fuck and fly by his I will. What is with those flies? I don't know the flies. Are the only thing eaten. They're getting the ges. But is it so much I'm swatting away anymore? Like if you fly anywhere near facing swat at it. That's a good point. Yeah. But I think it's just always there. They get used to it. It's fuck it. Yeah. It's like a girl with bangs if a hair on for it. You're you're doing this all day, but it with a bang. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Why does the belly to stand with the no food? Yes, strain every holocaust picture big bellies if small belly. Yes. And if you look at the photo, and you don't know you just think oh this kid's full time. Yeah. It looks fat. Yeah. Skinny arms. Yeah. We need spot reduction on him. Exactly you ever set any money to that. No. I don't I don't know if it's going there. I don't buy it well member when that lady who was from all in the family was like leader of the family ties. Seaney others. She was in it. Yeah. The girl you fucked girl, I hugged. That's right. That started a rumor that I was dating. Lasted for like, six seven months. She blew up. She ballooned. Yeah. She got real fat chick from from all the family, the blonde from all in the family, not seeing the others. I don't know. What is there a blonde and all the family? Yeah. The one of the daughters. Yeah. Or the daughter-in-law one of those. I don't really remember all in the family. Great show. I do remember people like you couldn't do that now. And it's like, yeah. Right. Because we're way less racist than like, you shouldn't do it now. But the whole Joe it was a joke. Like, he was the right? That's why it was good. But like I feel like if you put that in a what do you call it a focus group? It would just go. We don't like you're not supposed to like them. Right. Exactly. There are people out there who are like that. I didn't like this carry like you mean the villain. Yes. Bill. Yeah. You're supposed to root against him. He gets killed you go. Yeah. I know. I don't understand it. Well, that's why weakness. Is winning? Yeah. Lou or whatever. Yeah. People can't take that shit. Yeah. Number homicide life. Yes. The bad guys win sometimes people like what the fuck is this. Real life. Yeah. Gets punished watched those what do you call it the cop car chases? They always catch the guy. He never gets away. But he would get away would once in a while get away course, they never do. I watch forensic files. Religiously and they don't get the guy lot. Always get the guy. Always do the ones they show. They get. All right. Maybe they don't show the other ones. Yeah. Because that wouldn't really be forensics. We put a nail clipper in a test tube in now just sitting in a drawer. Why did they stop showing the show to catch a predator because they were catching predators? So I stopped doing that. Well, the guy is in jail, but I guess they stopped before that. Yeah. The hoses in jail. Did they stop because it was a hit shows? Remember every comic had jokes about it. Yeah. Yeah. That was my go-to like what TV shows you've been on to get rid of it because I heard a black. I say cops. And I said I like that. But I got a little wage. It's slightly. So that's a change like Moonies the hood to the Barrio joke. Damn. Mencia shit. Well, you know, did you did I tell you? Some guy emailed Minnesota the kid in Philly doing your act doing your, and he sent me a video, and it's my jokes for them away and their newest joke. So I think he comes to the seller in like scouts bids. You're going to write him or anything I'm gonna write him tomorrow. And if he doesn't respond I'm just gonna out him it'd be like came in and you just stop doing ninety geologist to me. Yeah. It stopped doing that does happen before. And I just totally shamed. The guy I was like look, man. Why did you get into this? This whole thing is about having your own point of view your own thought process. Let us hear your thoughts. Why are you jukebox? That's all you are you're you're looney. Why even doing just because you need the applause that bad earn it you piece of shit, and he wrote back like holy hell. Yeah. I'm so ashamed. I hate myself. You're right. I'm sorry. I won't ever do it. Again. I feel gross. And it was a nice moment member. That was there wasn't America's got Tom one of those type of shows with that guy. Still Jeff Keith stuff. Oh, yeah. There were like the whole thing about some of the host like autocare due to well others. Like, no, wasn't yours. We bring you back give you chance to your own self. Why bring them back? This is one of the storm as so we didn't do so. Well, this is why fuck Jerry gets hired geria- tired and counties, it should be ashamed of themselves. So I know what that is by the way comedy central hiring him. Let's the numbers. No. It's not the numbers. It's the accounting department. How there's nothing to do with the creative department, and they just a lot of times in a big company like that. They just don't know what one hand doesn't know what the other hand is doing if it was Ryan or and saying we're going to hide the fact you either one of them. Either one of them like, oh, no, no, no. That guy's known as joke. They've interesting. They were never made it never came out of their desk. Oh, really, what did you think these things are devious, and it ain't just business? Yeah. A lot of times when a comic will be like for premium blend or something. And they'll be like they cut that joke. Why they cut that show because too much and it was like now just non-associated Eller going make my own decisions. I guess I'd rather have this one in that one. I mean, that's not as bad. But it's still like, hey, keep on top of your shit shows a lack of like David using the theme song, we have it is not happening. They started using it for Tosh point. Oh, promos. Why? Doing that. Because this this is in our list of. Yeah. That's already associated with thing. You gotta remember people are still involved in people are still not Bill don't give a shit. It into the research. Right. But what is far we do? Give shit was about our Utah week. God damn weekend. You guys went to Denver a year ago, and I couldn't go and then just for the show shows. I want just for the shows, and I couldn't I couldn't do two weeks off. I just can't as a workaholic. But this was four days of just snowboarding. Debauchery great shows you sold out. Four shows advised guys and the house you guys guy was amazing. You guys he's got this huge house in Park City, Utah hot tub back deck big as kitchen five one. Nice. Yes, you could make food the couch area with the fireplace was sick. I love a fireplace. Yeah. You're a pyro. I didn't know that about you. Are you at all I like a fire, but I'll I'll start one in the woods. But you fireplace doesn't do it for me. I like a little danger involved. His light a fire in a wooded cabin. Yeah. You would sit there meticulously with the logs and go in there with the firewood. And the like you have the the pizza box you'd be tearing that up to get the fire. Hey, this is terrifying. The lady approaching our recording. What did you think we were doing? We're on microphones here. We're up. We'll talk to you in a second. We'll be right with you. What? You could bring. Share you, you know, the key to my heart. Don't you? I haven't eaten in days. You could put it. We got a record here. We're in the middle of them. I am very perturbed. That's the one you all your problem with before. Yeah. That takes a lot of Mashi cue or something something's up because you kept looking over your before. Yeah. Yeah. It's what I thought. She was listening. See the problem the comedy Ciller is he's nuts sit here and just listen to it. They got they got a. Over here. A booth full of fascinating interesting comedians talking about the business inside stuff. So they could just sit there and take a seat and listen up, and listen horrible things being said who are already it says, she's not Audie exerts a live podcast. What is like if you turn on porn like this is disgusting. Like, yeah. They'll you're not supposed to. Exactly. So look for it. Right. That was the worst thing about the hot tub is that was fun. When the bubbles of growing. We're all talking. I have a great time. And then you see it during the day without the bubbles. And you're like, oh, there's six people's backyards can hear me a this level. Right. Clearly, you're screaming at each other. Rape joke, and the whole thing we got into it. That was amazing just covered in beer and beer. We'd all the drinks. I forget this. Or in your great about this forget, you can just have fun. I work so much. I wrote for two hours a day just out of guilt were new there. So that's fine. You can do that to. No. I wrote today today. Yeah. Yeah. I didn't do it there. I was so true. Set your brain sometimes fallow. A little bit enjoying yourself. Sure. You'll have a joke about skiing at some share share. Got some ideas already cooking. But yeah, I just forget like you can wake up I had cookies for breakfast. Then we'd go to a snow snow. What do you call a canyons a Wigger? What do you call pudding kiss slopes? You've got to the resort or slopes of the mountain which ski all day would get beers in the middle of the day. Then you go back on the mountain. And you're like, oh my God. It's amazing. We have a show in two days to worry about the show at night. And you just go home you eat like an animal you have eight cookies fucking big ziti. Ziti. Ran ziti made a killer Zini, and then you just drink beer and watch TV. We we smoked we we did mushrooms. It was amazing. Yeah. My only regret with the chicken beers. I wish I would drank more risky. Yeah. Beer, gets you Burgas. Wait was is bloating. And it's full of bullshit. You don't need, but it is fun to drink beer the hot tub. Yes. Yes. More compound him. I put in my water bottle to beers. Or Philip that water bottle coal perfect. Cigar with us today. I didn't I was toured with my story. And I wanted to make sure I nailed that. But I was jealous. I was looking out there you guys like you guys were giggling and shirtless on the steams coming up you look like kings? Cigar in a hot tub is such a good. Look, why don't you have more fun? Well, I had a lot of fun as a kid in my twenties. I've been to jail a bunch of wrecked bunch of cars. So I have like I feel like now, I gotta work. What does that bring you food? What the fuck was she talking about she must know you. She has a plate of food. And she heard me saying, I'll eat anything. I think she was listening. I hate the listing. You thought yours blogging? I'm scared, man. You never know these people come here. And it's always like a cute girl of we're doing something. She was oh instead of going in walkaway. Yeah. Oh, well, maybe one other thing I can say like, no, no get out of here get out of here. And then she's like I'll bring you food as if like a give you something if you let me stay it's weird why sums up anyway. So cute cute older. So before you got there, we decided to do it but hot tub podcast. Yeah. Me Bert, Brennan, Z and O'Neal O'neil. I love O'neil, by the way. So you've never met him before. And I he's my. Zac sense of humor the downs ease. Our Lord was the best the best highlight that probably the kept coming back. Yeah. Yeah. So you can we just like because it's their idea. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Meet ran is easier or Neal asking about the Dow down. Yeah. Oh, dude O'neil. So I I was in me. And mar and some reason the podcast which ones I listened to it. So I gave him a Danish Neil episode. I was like they're on every fifty episodes. They're great. And one hundred go to that one. All right. Got the three minutes. It is like a woke young Canadian for Vancouver, which is four minutes in you were talking about flushing down. Then. Yes. What is it for, you know, four minutes in it's going to be more of that? You're right to turn it off. What what is their pod is that it is just in Saint dark, awful shifts price. Stories just a slightly more degenerate. Wow. More degenerate, those guys were employees. So you haven't met Dennis. When those guys are employees. They will like the worst employee's. And they didn't give a fuck and they were doing something where one of the made fun of dean the old general manager. And he goes, oh, I guess you don't like your job you, and he was like, no. I don't please fire me. I don't wanna be here. I'd rather have the spots. I get out of it. He was working at the door. Yeah. Dan said this wants to to one of the funniest ever seen dove David off. He was like one of those shirts at just came to his beltline. Yeah. So we picked his hands up like the search secrecy. His belly button was around his belly. But this son. So Danis hopping never met him before does a door guy. Imagine a dog. I hear you coming in and just going. Hey, what's getting that tattoo? He was like what like who are like what he goes when it's filled with come. Wow. I love it. Yeah. I got to know. Neil. Have you heard about his dead? Oh, yes. Steve O'Neill holy shit. I can't believe how well adjusted Ryan is after hearing about is dead grown up in a trailer park motel. Yes. I mean, he always kept a gun on them. Like some you got pulled over an apple that he got cut off and the guy pulled a gun on him. And he goes seriously and he pulled over. So his dad gets out puts a gun to the guys girls. Head and goes shoot me, and I'll shoot her. The girls is like the guys like let's get out of here. Hallmark guts, you're dead, by the way, so at his wedding those just a picture with dad's at died a couple years ago, and there's a picture of him shaking hands with George Bush senior and all these like high level people around going like this is some weird meeting. Sums up. Yeah. But great guys, Greg is it was a great fun trip. And I like how I know you had your two stories podcast, but you were willing to go on Monday. You will like I will go and actually have a show which is a fair excuse, and it was sold out. And. For sure like I actually asked. Let's look what was his books. Okay. It's fan. I'm blame you. I don't play. So we did this podcast in the in the hot tub, we call it hot tub time machine. And we just talked about like, I don't know what we the past a little bit. All right. What's your date? You got dates coming up. Mark norman. When's this come out today? Tomorrow's in Cleveland this week in a hilarious. I'm going to be there in may. It's a great room before. It's a great town. Great club. They take care of the hotels. Awesome. You'll get laid. Oh, you got a girlfriend Ceri then amid a rally in good night's then Syracuse funny bone. That's a that's a kick in the dick so funny bone. Yeah. Adrian for like just the night one night, or it's in the mall the mall. That's a rough town man, but come out and prove me wrong. Then Mark Doman comedy dot com. We're doing good thing to do. Oh, that's all. But he actually not Syracuse Albany. Really? I don't mind the club. I'm trying to Albany club. I remember now that's a little different. That was a cooler one a little better. Yeah. Yeah. It's not a great. But it's a funny bone. But it's it's better. It's all a mall. They're all in them. All. Then I met some other places trying to think about comedy club on state and Madison recording recording alma my third album. You really, yeah. Yeah. It's all ready to go. And it's different than the special. Yeah. But comedy central I've been using for my first two and they fucked me right anal. They I get no residuals. No. You shouldn't do with them. That's what I'm not doing. I'm doing guerilla. What is it five hundred pound gorilla eight hundred pound gorilla. They did try Daniels. Yes. Other great. Yes. I'll get some goddamn deals are. But whatever you do at this point. There's no reason you don't need a promoter. I know. I know really you're talking about two hundred and fifty dollar costs of making the album. Yeah. And then the rest should be all yours because you're going to do all promotion anyway, cheap. It's not even that much. Wow. Well, why am I doing with him? I don't know you should you should ask them what you should say. What are you giving me that I can't get on my own? I will ask him that. But everybody does with him. So I figured they were real thing for a while new way was like we'll make your album, we get half fit for eternity and like giving us like we'll put a hyperloop. We'll get on. I tunes. I. Like, nobody can figure it out. We'll make hyper links for you. That's what they said. You guys are thieves Dan, cook exactly well law now, I got an Email them tomorrow. But yeah. So a lot of good days. Mark nomad comedy dot com. Listen to Tuesday's with stories. We talk about the trip with yesterday on this on this episode. And I talk about how Steve said his story. Now is that cool. You said historians what he talked about. Yeah. I think so. I didn't give away any jokes punchline about like he eats d went into the thing. And it was interesting. It was very interesting to that shows all about the storyteller show where people like, wow, you really going for it. I got more tweets about that weekend. Like when I posted about it on this amputee like one of the best shows ever seen. Really, I've never know wise before now comedy fan all this shit chosen Denver from last year show. They said this year, they said that said last year show was the best show that ever seen there. A year later, and they had been there for years and years before they were like all our staff agree that was like the best one we've ever seen. That's good. Good. And Sean was good and Simone is good. But I I felt like I was I was also different stories. When the same exact show all the time. It was it's gripping. It's like more interesting. That's true. Yeah. It's as you start from zero zero with a comedy set. You can just get a laugh in the first thirty seconds. You like all right. I'm off and running with the story later, you're going uphill. Then you kinda hit that plateau. You got him. And I can just tell the story, and then it just keeps going up. And then you hit that big punch at the end. It's a beautiful thing when you get off thicker good good landing. Oh, yeah. But good openings pretty good too O'neil hot one for this TV show where he was like when I was twelve. My dad was an illegal Felker cool. Yeah. We're in we're going that is good. Yeah. It's a good show. I hope you sell it. Yeah. It was on TV. Once how many times do you do at three two. I've done it twice. Okay. What's yours? Come out of Jerry come out March March. Okay. Yeah. The new season's going, by the way, everybody you should watch it. This some great comics on their commerce that I've worked with on those stories. Yeah. I don't begrudge them actually talk them into doing it. So yeah. Whatever you think happened. You should not take it out on the comedians. Roy would last night last night as he doing great man that guy's awesome. He's hills two on the fan big fan of really would be super famous. I think so I hope so he's a nice guy to I am going to be in San Diego presence. They weekend. Followed by ninth. Anniversary the storyteller show in the main room rates eighth. All-star lineup Kreischer. Always the Dc. Pat, nine z c D as Jesus lineup. Wow. For charity. Some kid who come to the show all the time his dad anyway, his leukemia. So we're gonna get all the money to him. And then I'm doing my our in the main room maybe for the last time in LA dam. And then let me see what I got real quick quick. Get tickets at Ari Shapiro dot com. But real quick in March. I got Phoenix and Tempe then the second weekend than than Miami. And West Palm the fourteenth fifteenth sixteenth Vegas with Mark Nolan. Forgot vegas. Yeah. The twenty first or twenty four that's going to be awesome Vecchione list Vitre. Yeah. And then helium in Philly. Sorry. It's my favorite cobalt helium in two weeks feeling in HILI HILI Felim. Sorry. Wait, Philly helium Healy filial. There you Toronto. We're gonna add a second show, the Danforth, I think the first show sold. I don't know why they haven't sold putting on sale yet. But look for it quickly. And then it's going to happen. And then. Yeah, like, you said hilarious, and Cleveland, and may and maybe that's it. I'm at Royal local. So in Michigan opera, laughing skull Lanta every weekend. I never miss a weekend. That's why going on that. Ski trip was such a big deal because he missed a weekend. Yeah. Still got four sets out of it. I got four cents paid pretty well. Yeah. Registered to split. I'm I'm happy with us. I can't complain. All that fun. You pay for pretty much everything. And then you get paid for the shows. Yeah. You're a you're a man of the people always say, you're the Robin Hood of comedy. Let's like that. That's like that. So the four of us had a hot time machine, we call it a hot to episode two forty three forty eight or forty seven. I think hots up time machine guys in another two episodes episode four hundred whatever that is we forty seven Mary three fifty g's now, whatever whatever the fiftieth one is it's three forty seventy eight. But whatever it is shoot. Allante burrito shooter. I'm going to show as my three hundred fiftieth episode with a tail and Michelle and soda and Danish. Neil nice stav rose and Tim Dylan. Oh, what a fucking fun time. That was really wrote a screenplay in college. Nice. It was Hera. I would assume. Yeah, I was so proud of it. Yeah. Which is a basketball movie. But it was so bad. Yeah. It sounds bad as you thought. And then it was like it is I could try to explain to you. But it is. Ladies and gentlemen, ours. Episode three forty eight I think hot tub time machine. Oh, I got some good fucking Photoshop with this one. I bet. Yeah. The only reason I'm asking you to do by the way is because I put out for Photoshop people. I pay them. And I mentioned I said you were in a two, and then I realized you weren't at. Yeah. The Photoshop sorry came in so Mike we'll have to include Norman now. And I noticed Danish or O'neil wasn't in it. Yeah. I think he was I don't remember seeing his picture. Yeah. He was all right, anyway, funny guy, funny guy. Here we go. Thank you for tuning and everybody. Som- back to the liquor stores to avoid frivolous knife. Doomed never got an we're recording. Keep queue here axe. Check. Chad. Looks everyone introduce themselves. I'm ari. I'm Steve I'll shut down forty three. I'm Ryan, my name's Bert Kreischer. And I'm on my body south world tour, please find me this week in Durham, Charlotte. Atlanta Orlando then floor Tampa Lauderdale. Are you turn them down to forty three forty three? Okay. Start doing that are set the scene where we are. Okay. We all this feel great. We are in a hot tub in Park City, Utah home of some of the best skiing in the world. The hot podcast guys as gentlemen, welcome to Arshki spur skeptic episodes something hot tub time machine. We Burke Kreischer Renan's DC and Ryan O'Neal tell been with Tosh. With old flame? Picked a pitch this show called get my one hot tub limo. It was for me as grows hot tub limo. That's yours. I already drank a little bit of it though. Little hot tub limo too hot tub. Limit talk show where we just got. Nah. We gotta limo with a hot tub in it. And drove in Hollywood and tried to interview people from the hot tub. Is your skinnier? Yeah. And how many people bid at the chance to be part of this? We're going to be very candid. I gotta be honest with you like that right now would be great for offense comedy comedy. But back then no one ever wrapped their head around the idea that people may want shorter form entertainment, this just kind of fucking goofy. And fun. Have you ever thought about the ideas you had when you were younger they like August? I can't do that. And now that you're older and more developed like I actually could get that done right now. And it would be good. Yeah. Yeah. That's my entire career. I still I'm still pushing the five ideas, I created ten years ago. Tim does that from the from a bus right in New York a tour bus? The tour bus, but he used to do tour bus, and he was he gives like the the sort of details of the talks like he's like, oh, here's where this candidate. She lawn this person. So if you're in Wall Street, he's probably giving the real deal of the financial crisis. Yeah. Didn't share do that too. Or they're on a bus share giving them a tour, and like then you have random celebrity friends doing we're getting there. Getting their yards from a bus almost like a slippery as celebrities is they're not interest, also boring and interesting, and even if they have something interesting about them, they're afraid to show it. Yeah. And what have you is there and also their public house? Very quiet. No, I agree publicists takeover, and they form the now he will not be saying that. Yeah. And they're they're like, you know, what let's show dean. Didn't you guys videotape? Your daughter coming home with an a and you guys giggled. Let's let's show a clip of that we believe that's a better story. You know? Who's actually the best guy Ron Perlman? Have you ever heard him go off on his movies, and how shitty people are to work with Neil name? Name was he on WPF? I heard him on interviews heard him. He is fucking sons of anarchy. Boy, he's funny too for money. So he's got that. Like, I don't give who does he. Yeah. Romance stand-downs like he does Perlman. Wasn't. He the one that got beheaded. From send no Darby Ari. His name. No Perlman that was his last name. But he took the know off that was very poor. No joke joke Perlman now. I just met because Jewish not because per Allen. Thank you. Part. Shocked people this is gonna sound so stupid speak of shots. We're in a hot tub doing a podcast with electric cities. This could end it very quickly. It's convenient. Yeah. A real you don't think this batteries are going to do much. If you like to watch listen to podcasts away. Do I do and close your eyes and visualize it so it is a blue changes from literate blue red. Yes. Snow surrounding us. There's snow all around us. Look at the stars in the sky. It looks like the house is on fire because so much steam is coming out because it's about eleven degrees. It's a hundred and three. Try to own oh five or six day moon right now. And the and the order goes orien- Steve front burners Mia. Neil back. You guys. And when are we got in here, by the way, Burt this is a compliment to you? When are we got in here? That's one of water poured dissipated. That's not that's not because it's so. Judy knows back already. Stephen Ross, no problem all waters. I'm still shocked. Did I get the rap as the fattest comic alive? Wim Naven fucking that overweight who's that still alive? Gabe, Gabe massively fatter than I. At least he has died like three. I'm Ryan sclerosis bigger than you schola- row. Jim it cigarroa is fatter than I am scrubby. Now. Yeah. No shrimp. Is he just wears tripling out a lot of jumpsuits? He's got more weight and more height, and he's got Rogin Rogin Stalin, his Lennon. Yep. Rogin Stalin his Lennon Blake. I'm gonna coast on this. Tommy, you're not fat. You're not short. We're gonna your. You're right. You're are you telling cigarette by ten? Ten. Insecure and Rogan's is what what's the gore works out? He grunts. And when you work out, you smile. So it's like, he's painting gain. Okay. Fine, girl works out. He doesn't videotape. It when I work at a videotape. Yes. Elite athlete you think Joe thinks Kirk gains weight when he works out because he's having so much fun. Disagree ski. We advisor. Physical. You can't hear you. Physically he could do stocky stomach shotput shotput. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. A shopping. What are you gonna have a fucking this? Do you need someone help you move over teller show? What what's the Gorby doing? If he wasn't doing comedy. Probably pulling a plough on farm in Romania. He'd be sitting behind a desk at tow truck company on. Yeah. It's not my problem. You'd be a cop. He's got a cop body does. He also has he seems a little bit like he would be like a dirty cop. Oh, yeah. For like fig Newton's. They stole it from the house girl scout cookies in your backseat. I'm willing to go. She confiscated this this drugs this money and some of these Keebler. All going into evidence, you're taking cocaine dealers. Most pivots things that to me this whole week was moved at a word. I know. So. Yeah. Okay. All right, fitness was super hates being recognized. But he is the most he's the only comic that with has only all stories about recognized people like you be getting recognized. But that's all he's done is like oh shit. That's Bruce, Bruce, that's Mike Tyson shit. Look, I think we can all agree the top scores a piece of shit, but we can't agree on its how great a timer having anywhere between eight and ten. I would say I'm having a nine point five. Yeah. I was having a nine point nine, and then I had a three point two when I hit that rope, dude. One of my favorite wipeouts was you trying to go. Then all of a sudden, he just like does indivisible rope in just wraps around him ages posing it always the lack I run or the the one where you're trying to bite off a little more than we are in. I last year at Brighton. Our he goes, let's do one more run. He does jump. He wrecks hard. O'neil off the the mountain Burt, and I were eating bone marrow and splitting great bottle of fun. You know? Oh, yeah. Recognize us. And there were like Decca fans. Can we please like, and then they just they were huge fans. And we're like cool. I was grabby cameras. We'll grab a picture afterwards. And then we went out and then they started bringing up oh Mero. Fries. Why didn't you go in there and get recognized? We the either. That was not an F. They would have definitely been down your alley, dude. But whatever with birdied they could've see. Macos percussions crazy for like five minutes. They're loving Burt. Oh, you guys show cool to hang out with them. And at some point it goes, you know, Oregon's oh shit. Yeah. Yeah. Those chef saw an app procreate movie. The difference is talking about when I was in the bathroom like when when when are you recognized I lean into it. I yeah, I definitely I don't want people to pictures, by know that sometimes there is a a a way period of like three minutes that you'll have a conversation where you could cut that in half you go. Hey, you wanna take picture and the guy goes, oh, that's what I. Yeah. The law. They wanted to get this over with is there overtime, Bert. You you love him more than any works. Jeff Ross you to love recognize the most ever time. But I'm hold on. Now, I'm not shit on Jeff. I would never sit on Jeff. But I like it for different reason. I think than Jeff is Jeff like it. I think gee, just a single, dude. It's like when you're single when you're married like Jeff's a public guy likes to be out of clubs. He likes to go out with Dave and y'all mayor and like that's his thing. Like dancing with the stars another dancing with the stars guy. A not. Stars. Tomorrow. You said we watch. Point ten million dollars episode. Oh, it's what everyone else can face. Doing it favored nations. How that show you get what you get when you come in. And how long have you last? For whatever the price. They give you what dancing with this would not want to. I would not want to employed or possibly units hard. Yeah. Shirtless or retard? My number one reason. I don't like I don't like content competition reality shows, they really. Yeah. But you're not really in competition. I Nikki Glaser. Yeah. Initi- Glazer real quick was like I realized I wanted to stay and you realize at a point you wanna stay assure. But it doesn't matter about, Ed. No, it does you've never been in a reality competition. I did one episode of last comic standing. Yeah. I'm not saying because you wouldn't want to do it and embarrassed let's get because you would want to win, and you probably wouldn't be able to. Yes. And now now let me also get back to the Jeff Ross. Thanks. I have okay talked shuttle shit about not being about to do a Jeff Ross party one time and Jeff hit me up. And I know that some fucking cut will hit up Jeff and be like bird. Hey, he thinks you're celebrity whore. That's not what I'm saying. The truth is at the realities say you, but go ahead Burton the route the truth is is that Jeff is not the same way. I am about celebrity. I enjoy celebrity. I love I enjoy. No, no, no, no, hold on. I like when I see someone famous. I get excited. Jeff does nice kind of cool about that shit. He could very easily sitting extra celebrity NAS say hi, if I run into a celebrity, I get excited, and I I am the person that has to say hi wants to take a picture and then wants to take a second picture when we're on the plane together. I'm fucking up. I'm judy. I'm I am. We hate. I am all of our worst. Nightmares? I. But that's why I'm account. But that's why it takes the picture meaning comes back and asked me for fantasy advice later on. Hundred percent, it's so like, so when I say that Jeff, and I come at it from a different place. That's what I mean. Like, I note it's like to be a fan boy of someone's. Yeah. And then have them share a little extra second with me. And then go got to fucking love that guy. Yeah. And so that's why I do it. And that's why I get excited about it. Because I go. No, I've been there. I've that guy's lunar gonna already that guy's never gonna tell a better story to his friends, then he got on a gondola with his favorite comics and one of his favorite comics gave him a joint. Oh, yeah. Jameh full back. That's why I love Bill Murray. Bill Murray gives people those experiences can I get so your fun. One might orthodox Jewish school. My brothers. Great two years below me. But no doubt was just coming up. They weren't big yet. Did they have a smaller term for orthodox? Do they call like an or ju schoolers now? I mean is there like a or no just it's people? Just stay at the hallway orthodox Jew school. Does the school? Okay. Continue to go. See no doubt shows when they play the nine thirty club in plays like that he pie what heap high. That's a good one. I think he's just called with the emphasis on a Jew a Jews school. All right. All right. So they went out late with no doubt that fucking Gwen Stefani. There's other got took him around and how cool very cool. They said we're going to be we're gonna fucking Belay for school tomorrow, and we still tired, and she goes, let me write you a note. And she wrote a note that those kids took in a school from Wednesday. Monty hall said please excuse these bad boys in hell, he loved that. Newt Bill Murray Jeremy Bill Murray, Torri IT Simone. No, I did not you did with small on. Yeah. Yeah. He was talking to Katie the woman that plays my wife on the show at the time. And I went over. And I was like this is because he's going to walk away when he's done talking to her. And then I came over and ask for a picture these. He gave me the look like, absolutely. I'd love to take a picture with you instead of talking to this nice beautiful woman at the Super Bowl. So that'd be like, you know, what appreciate it. Appreciate fuck. You. I want to spend the picture I'm telling you right now, if I could if some could happen in my career, I just blew the fuck up, and I became like Bill Murray level. I would definitely be the guy that showed up at frat parties. I would definitely be the guy that showed up at weddings and grab the mic. I started singing. I would tell you that guy. He doesn't have you seen the documentary about it. He's my I'm not even saying like the way I deal with like Megrahi's fans and stuff is like I go what will Bill Murray? Do what Bill Maher have you seen the documentary about all of his crazy stories? I haven't on Netflix. I was watching I blacked out. Now, they does crazy shit up out of this fucking hot in Rosemont. Now, the hotel you stay at has a Bill Murray's brothers like ho restaurant. Every once in a while Bill Murray will just show up out of the blue at that fucking Ramada right next to the goddamn O'Hare airport. Okay. Rink with everyone in that bar. All. Fucking Chicago people very cool. And he just hangs out pays the tab walks out Bill Murray. Opposite is we're with John Elway's Vail steakhouse, Johnny come in here. Like, no he was here two weeks ago unveil coming here like no he didn't step into. People. It's the phoniness of a celebrity that none of us alike is the phoniness of a celebrity where you go. Oh, this just a business venture their social media team. Yeah. Let me this isn't them. Right. I putting your name on something as as opposed to like being a part of something and like kind of like. Going like it's like it's like Ari when we talked about doing meet and greets. Yeah. And you were like, it's I'm not charging people to shake my hand, by the way is better. So then let's keep. Is is incredible. By the way, that's the thing. With me in grades is like I very easily could have been swayed in doing like, a two hundred fifty dollar meeting or hundred fifty dollar meet-and-greet. I've done them. I did them with with Sal. And Nate and 175 meet meet-and-greet available at Burke Kreischer dot com for the tour body shots tour. There's an accountability. When you have like good friends. There's a calico yet held to where you go. You're that is gross. I'm not doing that. And so that that and then I panicked about that meet-and-greet situation until I came up with it. Did you come up with the early? No contest the doing a raffle of the way. If like if you wanna do five bucks, you're like, maybe. And if you wanted to twenty bucks you like who gives a fuck, and if you if you go I want to meet them, and you put in one hundred bucks, then you're probably going to win and the money goes to you or we give graphic it. We raffled off to the fans, but I got a bunch of shitty. Shitty. Emails but like emails from fans going him. And I really don't give a fuck about the raffle. I don't give a fuck about anyone winning money. Just keep the show moving. Oh, really? Yeah. And is that where it's like, I'm here to see the show, dude. I don't give a fuck about your meet and greet. And I don't give a fuck. So I don't know what I'm going to do moving forward. I may just do you think George of people that think that probably I considering the majority of people do not enter the raffle. They don't even give a fuck. I wouldn't I wouldn't want some other guy to get my five bucks. Yeah. I was in Vancouver. And I was doing like that was always do this speeches during the check drop, you know, like wait staff or like, hey have merch for sale. Whatever was and I was like it the county mix it was like shirts off towards at some guy on to my right? Was like, and I would felt so shitty. Like, yeah. What am I doing really good show? And I'm talking about my t shirts stupid posters up now. And it's giving you on people. I've had people fifties. Pay what you want to dollars fifty dollars dollars. But you have to pay something or can they just take it? Look, I'm just saying is it like. The posters free. I go. I it's a donation throw it in what you can it's cash only his cents fed puck thrown up like coins actual coins me before. But yeah, I think it's a good way to do it. People. Don't feel like you're selling something. Then it is when you're not soliciting necessarily like, here's a fixed price, people will give more. Yeah. They do it on podcast. You just like, hey, here's the listeners can be printed out in the city, you're in you don't have to carry them. You don't have to travel. Posters of the best thing, Charlotte. The Brett Brock and Jeffrey Thais shout out to Bryan. Stephanie comedy Photoshop. Let's take two seconds. Bill Bill Burs fifty poster. Let's take two seconds those guys because they don't get enough. Shout outs. And that's their business say prime Stephanie go fuck yourself. I hope you die. He'll be kill yourself, and your mom knows it shout out. I think he was looking for was going for. I could see already be like he was fifteen minutes late to a faux call. I had. How many festival walk super kill themselves? But like, yeah. What happens pleasant super nice? I don't know why you would ask him to fuck himself killer. Some other kill him sung. All right. Who's brent? Bryce, Brock rep rock does me and STAN host poster rock them. Okay. With who's the other guy? Geoffrey Thais fuck him. Why to obviously who do you got Ryan do? I have. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We have Matt Lynch does a lot of our about Lynch fat head comic who else. And then we have Andrew DeWitt DeWitt school. He's a great artist. I'll let you can eat a dick. Okay. All right. That's a great idea. You know, what I wanna make? I wanna make remember those big head. Did they had this big posters of of athletes that you can put up on your wall? I wanna make it for college. Students of me shirtless with a beer like I'm third party show. It you might sell a lot of those. Oh, look, and they're all hanging out with me. Easing. If you could get somebody takes a photo with UN, somebody from the show, and then instantly gets it on a t shirt and flapper criteria around right then and there. What around right then? And there and now you have you had Berkshire or a character of you drawn. And then it's printed on a shirt, and they can instantly take it Ronnie's on the stern show. Flapper Crushers, Stephen. I came oh, the most genius idea today over wine, this this is the beauty pageant idea that we had earlier pitch that we're talking third shows or or extra shows holograms, bro. I'm gonna do. I'm gonna do. I'm going to record a hologram show for when I die. Yeah. Yup. And that will be the money that sends my kids and my wife off to we're talking about life. The weight limit on holograms. So how many pixels? It's going to get you. Okay. It starts off with me going with me going. I guess I'm dead. Everybody. That's the takes the shirt off right away shirt off shit, man. I'm hanging out with Patrice right now. So you leave it in your will to leeann like three days after I'm gone you release this fucking special Kreischer dies Sullivan. The news where to maneuver Kreischer special available right now on tour on the hologram depth door. I bought that Patrice O'Neal special after he died recorded in the DC, improv. Oh, man. What am I to my favorite joke? So I think about it all the time is Patrice O'Neal coming out stays and there's a blackjack eating chicken fingers in the front row. And he goes, I ain't afraid of big black bitch. He's I grew up a big black pits. And then and then Mitch Hedberg. He goes, man. I'd hate to be the headless horseman horse. Why? With that guy. I've been like, yeah. We're not going to the, hey. Horseman? Well, that's all right. Have you? Do you have any other business ventures? You're thinking about I said, you should get the heave and the cube off the ground. Think you should open up jewelry. Yes. Fucking dispensary. Ju yeah. Really do hope being showing because you care about it. You will sell shit rod. Yes, exactly. You'd be the you realize you realize you'd have a line around the block kids that wait for sneakers relent skis. This of damn saying the wrong name. What is that? Yeah. We're gonna steakhouse, but not you could be the the fucking high end steak house of weed because they know that you are a Guoqing meticulous con-. Yeah. Yeah. That's your brand. So you should open up a brewery and call it a Hebrew ry. Something. Together, and we'll call it. A he brewery. I like that even better. He'll draw. Good, Stephen allergist producer Tajik show. Yeah. We got a beauty. About they'll talk I'd ever fucked in a hot tub. Yes. I got a rash after it pool. The not hot because I was also in steroids because I had terrible poison Ivy lose over how dare you. So I'm not a big fan of fucking in liquids. I gotta be honest with you. Tub younger a week ago. You did it a week ago in this hot tub? Not in this in Middletown when I was in. Yes before you got there. Come it income why? Yahoo fucked come. We're not going to be went into next. Why it's not your hot tub? It's your nobody. I might care. I'm sorry. It's your. Yeah. You've never taken a bath jacked off in the bath. And then got out and you're like, Why's all my jazz swiped. One way. I don't care. That doesn't. We don't come. You don't come in your own hotel. Although I did I was pissing in my own bathtub as a kid not realizing I was bathing him on piss for sex yesterday that and showered before I got in the hot tub. So we're all on you. Mill. Full milking home milking got. Busiest. Fuck. Oh, yeah. We're gonna be steaming. How are we getting to the steakhouse? We're gonna drive. Oh, good. We're gonna try snowmobile. Oh, I wish do love to drive snowmobiles drunk. I have scariest fuck I hate really gap. I grew up with snow mobiles. I love snowmobiles. But we never drank. 'cause we were super serious about them today of electric snowmobiles. I probably do you don't like to smell. I don't. I hate the smell of gas. So like, you know, you caught in the helmet Ulta, smells like it. They pussy stores out here grid. They really are. I love this area. The thing that sucks. Dick about Utah is their beers for we think. They put it governor on the alcohol. Limit you can't even stand in drink, bro. Will you can't you have to sit and drink sit and drink because they don't want you moving around location. These fucking Mormons get rid. People know the Mormons in there. I don't think they like your whole woman's anymore. I don't think they like to be called latter day saints. Oh, yeah. No. I'm not kidding you. I'll send you the article. I attended the Rogan but the same as me and my changed Burma or vice versa. Got bad rap. I just don't like what the church does with all that you can't have fucking caffeine. You can't have alcohol of a certain level. You have to buy your alcohol like your heart, alcohol and your beers. Fuck separate. Arauco, but you can have zanex Ambien. Because you're all in the boards rental passenger van? The guy told me that there was a hidden camera documentary where they got one of the leaders of the LDS admitting black in like, you know, dark black boys changed that he sells meth he deals. Matthew has dealers deal meth forum? He doesn't care because none of the people in the LDS do the meth and he tied on his meth sales. Really? Yeah. He gives money to church keeping the money in house guy's name. Keep one else they spend more money to. Yup. Mormons? I bet you if you broke down even white people down to religion. I bet you Mormons keep money in their religion more than Jews keep money in. There may have been not more than Koreans are Chinese CHAI Koreans were twenty two percent or twenty twenty seven. Spank in Chinatown, New York has the most assets of any Bank in the world. Did you watch that? 'cause when they make money though, like store, we're leaving six families two bedroom. Keep that money. They don't spend it. They just all cash all their businesses appear cash, you go to a lot of places Asian restaurants. They don't take credit cards. So they just stock that shit in the Bank. And she wants documentary in New York where they the only place the only fucking Bank. They got busted in the financial crisis. Was this Asian dude? Who ran the spangling? Yeah. And they literally had the entire Chinatowns money in his Bank and people came there on the day that they said that this Bank was in trouble, and they demanded all their fucking money back. It was like forty million dollars. I hate the version racism that's happening to Asians. Personally. What do you mean? The Harvard shit Harvard shit that bothers me why work hard, you're a person you're fucking. And you want to be a doctor? I want you to be my doctor. Can I say something though? Yeah. Okay. While they are considered. I believe a minority, and so while African Americans and Latinos are out there fighting for their rights. And splitting time between doing activism in school. I think the Chinese are like nobody living, and then we'll just keep his school that oh bad thing. They're not like I wish I could. Conversation. His activism. I I did started. No, I'm saying is like they don't how many when when you see how many Chinese people? Do you see out there protesting or picketing for all right? Get the shit. They take their abuse. And they go out and fucking. So cares. We'll study harbor play. That's what I'm saying. If you let if you just the black people's problems to Haro progressing instead of fifty percent Chinese soldier. No fine. It's fifty shake about China to communist country where these people have to fuck in live. It's not communist China. Oh god. Here we go again. Here we go come in. Okay. I can't do this with you say. Technically fucking calm after trees. Yes. It can build our Marty. But they can't go to Google. They it's an outcast nothing with their system of money. It's a capitalist system. If you make money you keep it. No. They don't. Yes. With ROY is driving over homeless people. That's true. It's such it's an oligarchy like Russia. Yeah. Okay. Capital? I'll go with it. Yeah. Okay. My point is do you? Remember, the kid from Missouri like Mizzou, or whatever that was walking across campus and walked into a black lives matters meetings. The Asian kid he was just trying to get a fucking pre Chem class or whatever. Fucking be rated this poor do though. Yeah. And they were like you're an oppressor. You're an by the way, I'm definitely speaking hyperbole. He's like, I don't know. I don't remember anything. They said. That I bummed me out. Because I go refill I always want allow. Dude, I'm a fucking. Oh, you don't drink it like a fucking like a trying to say hi bottle. We got to just in case. But it's not just the kids to not enough. Now why because I've drinking too much. We're all going nuts. Shout out to the Danish O'neil podcasts. One of my neighbors to listen to every week. Thank guys show. So Neil to the best people ever have on a podcast ever cooking story for all. But we're mighty. I called burn. I was like you got the initial on is like really, I'm like you can do what you want. But I'm saying trust me on this. I didn't know anything about them. I was like just trust me. They're going to be great. And you're like, okay. Do you? Remember that? I do. I thank you so much. And the weird thing is like other people won't have us on who. I'm not gonna name names. But it seems it it's really hard. It's really hard for us people. I don't know. Why? I don't know. I don't we've never done anything to anybody. I guess it's just we're not big names. Kind of like this underground who who was able. Yeah. Andrew Santino goal. Just be really funny. Von but we take it seriously. And when we granted we wanna fuck and you wanna put on a good show. You guys are awesome. And you guys were all saying podcast, by the way, I'm breaking balls. All those people who are my friends. I don't want to start any drama miss fucking world. But the you guys are awesome. Every time you've been on. It's been one of my top downloaded podcasts. Appreciate that. We we always try it. You just did it. You guys were also. Yeah, they know. I gotta tell you like we. Seirawan shank and Kimberly Kongdin on. Awesome. Awesome. There were like they is just like people who know podcasts and come into murderer. You know? And they even like, I'm not even but I'm saying like, you know, like Hollywood veterans like Moshe and Natasha are fucking amazing on a podcast, but they go in. They know what they're doing. Let me ask the story. Not. Well, they don't do many. But the ones they do they like all right. We're going to go to bring it. And then you see people come out and they're like. And they think it's like a like a Barbara Walters interview. Yeah. Yeah. Like fight you on uncovering stuff. Like, I don't want cover anything just fucking share some fun stories. Yeah. Okay. Right now. But I call it hot tub time machine. But I feel like we should talk about from the past because it's hot the time machine. But I don't really know. What does that mean do hot tub time machine? I don't know. I'll tell you. I tell you right now. It was as you say talking about something from the past. Yeah. I feel like everyone right now wants all their past to go away because the past three years ago was different than the current state of this world right now. Isn't it? Crazy. How quick talking insane, man? It infuriates me. And it really it almost makes me wanna go rogue. What what does that mean? Go rogue like just fucking get off the grid and be like fuck all you guys when the shit claps. I'm going to be out there hunting, you guys turns out with. Also, keep track of who's not Roques. You could like watch their demise. Not rogue to go rogue. Let me let me get what do you? What is your stance on like because I always in my mind. I can't see how everybody can't see that. Like, this shit's going to collapse. It's doing. Yeah. And everybody's just going to implode, and then you're going to be out there, and you you have survival skills, and you've got everything you need to fuck and go hardcore you might get killed by like other like military guys will fucking kill you. My plan is to stop putting chemicals in my pool and use that as drinking water said it said electric fence around. I have a sniper's nest at the top of the electric fence. Hookup batteries to the to the to the fan. I have a I have a, you know, a great fence, but I'm going to car batteries. I drive my car through that seriously about this. I done everything they have no plans beyond that. By the way. I have have cons. I mean, we're talking about talking about like, social Justice and all that bullshit. But we're talking about the pockets, I got a filtration system for my pool. We're gonna drink out of my pool. I got a generator a big generator. I got guns, and I got go cash. I got go caches cash and five dollars. I think O'neil O'Neill's talking about is like member Bernie Sanders couple years ago. It was like, hey, we get everyone some money, and he goes he feels like I want to put words your mouth. But like if people start getting money every month for free they're going to have idle time in their hands. And before you know, it it's going to be robbing and stealing and were in it now. And yeah, no. Yeah. I'm I'm Pierre capitalist. But I do, but here's my thing. Your water gets shut off now. So you have a generator, but she got no fucking water. Will right? No. But say say, you shoot some guy and he. Falls in the pool. Now, he's fucking blood everywhere. Him out of what are you doing for food? What are you doing? Now. Do you have a grill? How are you protecting your place who's on watch? I got Lee anti. Hey forgetting when they're not there. Go that house. Yeah. Well, that's the thing. I'm getting out of there. Where you go is do you have a place to go? Where are you going? Do you have a motorcycle that lien could drive one and take one of the girls when you thought about getting a like a a larger motorcycles? So we get through trap too. So that we got a four people on Cobra ethically. Cudgel tell you this tactically. Times of the essence when this all goes down quick. Yep. I'll be on the road those kids. You're can have to kill those kids. They're going to slow you down. I hopefully. Children. No, dude. Body shots for swipe your ticket. Those kids are gonna slow you down. Here. A story. I had to kill my wife and one kid and then keep one kid and then. Yeah. To sell later down the road. No, no, no. Heroes. Joni mass. Yes. The narrative going on needle not to sell for profit. That's how in the first act. The child is sold. He gets all these buddy. He's living high on the hog. About to the right family. Think about think about where they thought the world was going at Y two K. And where it is today. Yeah. But I I wasn't worried about that today. I'm either I was too stupid today. I think people are just are they're going to nineteen Eighty-four themselves out of everything. Like you. Are you have an Alexa, right DL sodas Renan's easy. Like, I mean, I know I might unplugged I do not have one of my tour bus. Today. Yeah. My thing came up, you know, the thing that we could hook both skis onto in carry it like a backpack. It just it was in my Instagram feed because we had gone to that. But I love that. I know. I was I was bought it. I don't mind it when it's actually good advertising. Don't want a car. I do care if I could if I could guarantee that it would just be that just give me stuff in. Interested in taught okay. Shit. Also, I don't think the world's going to collapse in some grand thing. I think it's going to be everyone just narking on each other to the point that like now that like one party takes over, and it's going to be like a really shitty party. And now they inflict all these rules on everybody. And you can't say this. You can't do that. And that's what I'm going in the woods. So you. Yeah. You're saying you'd want to be told what to say or have thought be. Yeah. We'll see and you can't have. Yeah. You can't say you can't even talk about this because the government's living listening evening your fucking house. His court. We saw. No, no. We saw. I ozone line the other day, and all of a sudden my like my phone pops up, and it's like news alert new. Gins hair was an anon- John legend, untied it. And I was like real. Chrissy Teigen, by the way, he tweeted it 'cause I wrote I went what the fuck have. I been googling that this is what my phone thinks I want and by the way, I watched the whole video is fucking fascinating. Because he probably she had a heavy not because Christie Keegan's a fucking dollar sign. Every time she'd says anything she whites Chrissy girlfriend loves gorgeous. She is fucking gorgeous. Like, I literally could start your own country, but having white men go to Thailand and have sex with tie chicks. And just all those all those kids will be teigen's. Yeah. And what's your name from bugging g four? Can. I say something, you know, him on a Libyan months. Yeah. They're gorgeous. She's native American. I believe I supervise soda had. No that I think that that age is super well. Yeah. I feel like often half say like. A lot of youthful until one day. She is severely not. This is the fact that Pusa, well, hey, and again again again eastern love peace in love. White one age. It's the same same genetic. Let's speak. I feel like a. Yeah. Here's the thing though. While you're watching that happen. They pass some fucking law that took even more of your fuck it rights away. That's what they do. They're just watched Chrissy Teigen. And then we're going to go over here and do this in Utah, national parks some half. Yeah. The supreme court just voted for the what's trumps thing for the Trump a for it. Yeah. The only good thing. That you can't even before the president. And you're if you are you're racist. Now, they've they're they made this around the world destroy can't be about economics or anything else. Can't be about like this. I saw some articles at five things Trump done. Well, and there was like begrudgingly I have to give this up for this stuff. And it was one of those like if you're dying of fucking a uncurable disease. You can try some experimental drugs like Yorkie dying. You have six months to live try the drug from what I've read people like, you know, let's go. But a liberal way was that when this was happening from what I read the the the Justice the criminal Justice reform. They did they just was like bipartisan across the board really fucking good. Everyone. Yeah. That's what me off because it was like, but he saved the news industry. Not even like seventy percent bad. He saved the news industry by calling him on the shit. No. Because now they have twenty four hour a day shit to report on that. He's doing to what's that OJ? Did that? Okay. No. There is a real problem going on with like CNN and stuff like that people just weren't tuning into anything. So now, they have like crazy that like you that not not to say good or bad. But just to say that you can't even support the president without looking like in Nazi. Yeah. That's when they made the story you only racist any support of him as like you must be racist. Stupid fucking hat, then you're not illicit Milano said that's the new white hood. Yeah. And you know, it's not like they're the message itself is fine. Did you read her op Ed that she wrote about it defending? It was insane. Insane. Oh, I mean, it was just like, oh, yeah. I'm not backing down from this. I totally believe Charles. Charles and charges. She doesn't have to back down from it. Because people. She her fan base loves message. And it's like an end she needed to be said, it's anyone who disagrees with her is ignorant, and you're like, no, no, no this country's super varied. There are people that do have that hat do believe that at do believe that phrase make America great again that are not, Nazis and klu Klux Klan members that would ever that white hoods stands for hanging black man from a tree. That's what that stands for my opinion that had not stand for that much say the same thing was said, do I think Trump is racist? Probably probably. Josh thinks that like a white hood is is like, obviously, I bet there's a part of him that takes a little tickle joy in the fact that he's gotten away with creating this hat that means something bigger than he looks at someone goes that guy or that person that personal say that person can do the job with that person. Can't do the gym now, whatever he bases that on probably it's skin color, or whatever he feels about them. But he just has a gut feeling about a person, and that's pretty much. Hiros billionaires to be his cabinet. He goes do. You mean people that have been the most successful. Yeah. But no, no billionaire now is a fucking bad you make money. So fuck you. Here's a thing. If they have a problem with how people make money, he's someone hands you two and a half billion dollars in criminal Orne. And so was Hillary Clinton. I mean. Yeah, it was criminal both funding criminal. She was a criminal and the and not only that what the fuck do you think she did that caused the FBI to fucking throw her under the bus? Okay. I'm point some shit twenty and twenty one it's twenty twenty one right now hot tub time machine were time machine forward, the president United States, the rock, Bert. You're gonna put your bird Oprah Winfrey. Says forever. This is a podcast. That's probably not on your top five. Your top five cold outside. Joe Rogan or Oprah. I could tell you. You got two more to go. Reporting this because Oprah Winfrey squeaky clean to look into her and mud sticks to someone. We cleaned mud. Does not stick to Trump who's just a veritable asshole. So it's like he's like a little muddy. It's like when you feel like you're jerking said. Yeah. So what you know what I mean? As soon as one thing. It's like what about the meat stuff to Oprah the net sticks to and she gets taken down. It can't be someone like that. It's got to be someone like legit. I know what I'm doing in politics. I see Will Smith. No, he's going through a midlife crisis. Right. I love how the answer to this. Shitty. Outsider who's been awful is just a different guy who doesn't know anything about tell you right now. We've Joe Biden vice president he's ready for this year's bed rock. Mark it Joe Biden is going to be what three when he gets the record Venezia's soon. He said Rourke he moved the microphone away from his mouth in a mock, Mike, John Doe. No Beto O'Rourke will will carry the south texts for Joe Biden. Who's like the prominent most? I think I think civil war, hopefully, the the best side wins, and we rebuild show the ground. Die. Who I want to be saying fuck and he had his time. You so fat Bernie, I'm talking about these attractor. No. I'm just saying. I'm just saying that that if I was betting right now. That's who I think is to Betsy thing, it would be because I think it'll be Biden's and Trump, and I think Biden is a plain-speaking guy who will. I hope Russia comes in and tries to bomb us. We got a fucking arms to people with all the guns fucking fend off the Russians. Now, we take over hold on the white and you realize arse countries. So weak right now. I know it's sad. Anyone came into to take over our country. They could do it in a month. Oh, we're buying TSA people pizza because they're working for free. Dude. We have two coasts. Nobody has ever conquered a country that has to coasts with two navies on both sides. So you're saying if Japan hit us from one side England's I it was a peninsula. When in Europe, what are the country's coast? What Brazil Brazil have two coasts. No, no Iceland's got two coasts about. What present. No. Yeah. Actually, giant coast decides on Hawaii pretty quickly coast Iceland's an island, right? That's not too cold. It's got all coasts drill took over Hawaii without any arms. Let's take over ice. That's an island though. A Mexico's number taken over four coasts. No. By the way, I'm talking about a surreal how we take over Iceland, like China only has they have one coast and thinking ever taken over you, can you can get you can come in from different angles over China. Sure. Yeah. I think I think it's a it's it's. Xio political fluctuating stat. To coast. We just happened to be one of them. Yeah. And Arctic has got all coast again. How do you come in as I've been taken over by countries such an, but how do you come in Wisha? How you come in? When you have to navies, how do you come in? When you have to name through space. Wait a minute. What do you mean? Nate to navy's who's got to navies. We do we've won on the Pacific one on the Atlantic understanding. Budget creek shooting shooting gun. Summer is San Diego. It's real boats, bro. All along the coast. Yeah, they have fucking. They have a real mushrooms down San Diego. And he thought those catamarans were warships coming at us. We'll holy shit. Dude. They were worships communist. We were. Patio, and these catamarans will come in sunset the most beautiful possible time is it right now for forty five minutes time for steak love steak, we should wait. Let's go to this. Let's go back. Let's this time machine. Okay. Let's favorite stakes. I know my ooh, Peter Luger's with my dad in nineteen no two thousand seven with my brother. We went to Peter Luger's in the Yankee game. I have a tagline for that. Okay. I went to Peter Luger's recently with Rogan, packing and the guy who appreciates your marathon campaigns. Hey. Told my dad I went there. He's like I when I was single. Yeah. He went to his old belongings. He found a appear Luger's credit card. Whoa. It had on it. Four digits. The number was like nine eight four seven. Wow. Yeah. And I still get in India's went a week or two ago. And I was a caveman. Can I see if this is still good? He was like what the fuck looked at the computer can find anything then it goes to open up books old book written shit. Oh shit. That's great. It's a good steak. Dudes for years. It's a good. So went to with my uncle. I. Those were great steak, but I think probably one of the best takes I've ever had. I had St. Florentine in Italy on trip flip while and it was it was massive. The probably the best steak I've ever had was with the zoo tribe in Africa. We fuck we killed the cow humans. We killed a cow. We slaughtered the cow, and then they cut up who's a cow. Sit on it back and forth back and forth. Seagrams story for the cast. So that's and so they had volunteered a bowl of salt. And I thought it was just spices. And I was dipping stake in a bowl of suckle. They would cut it up into slices. Right. And it was like everyone had a big sword. And then you cut it up. Did you get sick of it? No, no, lady that we'd have do doctor voodoo which doctor whatever in a in a room, she was doing the Saint call rolling bones, or she told you your future, and so she role bones. She told a couple of future. And then she looks at me. And she goes, you need your bones rolled as like, I don't want it. Why why I said I don't want to know what's going to happen. I don't want to know anything bad on any good. I wanna stay on the same path. I'm on. And and she was like she goes, I kind of already rolled them. And I was like really like you show. You don't wanna know like, Nope. Wow. Why? Yeah. Maybe that was their version of getting milked. All your bone O'neil. Okay. So I too. Yeah. I is just a childhood memory of complaints. And my mom that we had to eat steak for every meal because we slaughtered our own cows. And there was all grass-fed beef, and we had like New York strips, and we had fucking rib is we had porterhouses. You had a brother? Right. So you how would you guys kill a cow and eat at the entire winter long like it without you know, we just constantly had a we just constantly had her freezer full literally we had a freezer in the garage like my poor cow. Now, just full of king cuts, lamb and beef. And then I would be like we're having steak again. And now my forecast. Let the freezer get to the bottom before you kill another one of us being good lamb is that me and bread band were New York once doing a Rogan show. And I was let me bring you to this place. I love my moons next to the comedy show. Yeah. Yeah. And he was like, what are you getting on like, we get flush woman. He goes, I never tried that one. That's China's philosophy. Okay. We got philosophies and pita had him. He was like I've never had this. This was amazing. That was so fucking good. And he goes, I'm still gonna hungry. Maybe we should get another one. I was like let's get this time. He goes. Yeah. Okay. But man that was so fucking good. You sure. Like, yeah. He won by this former and he was angrily goes, why didn't we have this? The first time. It's that good. Yeah. It's so good or go ahead my favorite sex. My last favorite steak was taken up marinating the whole day in my backpack in Vale with my lady and grilling him at the top of fucking base and watch me with cold sandwiches. Look enviously at us as we're eating baked potatoes and T-Bone steaks. I sake of all time me Brogan. I don't know. Who else? I think Diaz. I'm not sure nine steakhouse in Las Vegas, a porterhouse that I fit into it. I don't know if there's a fillet side of the aside. And I was just like, I didn't know meet could taste that good. And I was like. I was like what's so good, dude? Fillet fillets, really good. They believe syndrome, you owned a wagon fillet while we that's that steak, and they tell them how good they are steak. What kind of cake, would you? We porterhouse. No, no, no, no, no flavor. Lay all cross-border. Now, we took a bunch bought a bunch of wagon for this place called crowd. Cal not a sponsor. But check them out. What they do is. They crowd source a Cal. And then they cut it up, and you can purchase part of that cows. It's fucking genius Licko Licko wedding. Whatever we I'm going to play. They have that in like where I grew up. Like, hey, we're going to buy a cow like like, do you want three legs, and like how much buying on this genius? Yeah. So we get I got I get like four wag fillets. I get and then I get four straight fillets. Right. And so we do what we do is. We create a thing outside. So it's it's basically like Benny HANA, but at a friend's house with like with like a coup camping gear. Right. So we put out like hot plates, and we get all the kids at table, and I slice them all all real thin. And the kids have tongs put the steak on the thing and serum and these mother. Fucking kids eight every Wagga. There was they were like, oh the other one tastes gross. The this one's the good one. The why do they ripped through the without even telling them without even do. It's good. It's so good. It needs. Nothing. I've never had. It is. It's that good. Prime rib. I'm a I'm a huge fan. Coverage white. Coverage white by prime beef or you're white people. But there's there's there's a bunch of different grades of Google. You got to get the right grade. Because if you get thrown grade, then I guess it's not as good. Yeah. Great seal every time. No what I miss though, is like, okay. So if you weren't four H, and you and you were doing house. Thirteen year old girl. No. But listen to this. So you raise this cow from an infant, and then you groom it you make it. So that you can lead it around with like a into Holter something over its face. No. I know what you're talking about four H one of the things you can control your animal yet keep going. Well, you know. Yeah. And then you, you know, you can lead around with a rope. And you make it tame. And then you present it, you do this thing they grade it. And then after that you sell it to the slaughterhouse you do. They loaded up from the four H barn at the fair right into the fucking slaughter wagon. And the better you take care of it, the probably more money you get for that enter it tastes. Wow. It's so that teaches a kid you like, oh, I just raised his hand. Well attached to it. I showed it maybe even won an award now motoring up to the fucking a real kid. I don't have to send it off to get killed. I'll be it'll take care of it. Well, okay. Maybe it was just before we go and get steaks. Let's talk about early memory losing virginity before each person starts a while. So you're dates when you go I I'm going to just for laughs, the twenty-first of the twenty four Hoover. Yep. Yuk yuks swipe up for tickets. And then there. And then check out C Renan's easy for the rest of the Tory dates. I don't know what I have any Philadelphia. All these other great cities. Excellent. How'd you lose? I lost my virginity to a wonderful woman who now is a woman, but was a girl then and had a twin brother who child. No to fifteen year old. Girl. You're fifteen years old fifteen and that's young. It was may. And so I was about turns fifteen to I was about to turn sixty very soon. And so we did a lot. And where we did a lot. We did. The first time first time was at her house her parents her parents were there. Yes. And there was a very special circumstance. And I I hope it's not a joke. But her father was a paraplegic from the fire department in New York City, so awfully Meyer fighter. Well, he he got hurt in line of duty. And that's why he became a paraplegic. That you've saved anyway. But yes, so she had free reign of the house. So we were allowed. I would sleep over. I'm afraid your parents are gonna walk in. I think we're. We'll hear the creaking Okada here coming up the Ray up, but she didn't have a twin brother. Motorized thing that takes up. The stairs. Exactly. What I did not want to have happen. So I still twenty minutes into the garage is wonderful win, brother. Yes. We're still fucked the twin brother fucked the twin brother as well. Hard hard super hard, which was better out her. Yeah. Yeah. That was my she I've taken three people's virginity. That's another question though. How many entity slayer? Well, I'd like to know how many people have never taken anyone's virginity did rent a car that had thirteen miles on at one time. And I took her soft touch it. You're slow. I'll go next. Why not okay? I am going to be in a bunch of place. Toronto in April, April six San Diego LA in February. I don't know where else Cleveland and Columbus in a bunch of other places. My college sweetheart, go fine. We're both virgins. We take shutters virginity Tyler longtime. I was twenty three years old you in college at twenty three I took two years off to Sheva you relate to. What else was what he three port. Yeah. Poking I'm member saying. She said, I don't know if I'm ready. It's okay. I'm just letting you know, I'm ready and then. Fucking. I'm ready. More to take your cock? You ready discount is ready? Creepiest thing I've ever heard my life during we want to watch a movie, and it was a previous Batman the second. Batman. Pet cemetery. Oh, we the one with Michael Keaton. Yeah. The second one with Michael. I can't watch heat and makes me so a handout. Are you going to hand out? Side. She said later, she goes, that's my new why did you God she hot it took a long time super hotch looks like ally Sheedy Bill now or then then? I couldn't get in trying to poke it in. I couldn't get in till one time went down. And then when went right in and we're like, wow. And then she goes oh shit. When my parents couch parents were upstairs, juicing I'm afraid of father paraplegic, we got to get a towel or something to put down put a towel down. The couldn't get back in my virginity lasted for ten seconds. We did you come. No this. That's not your virginity. Then. No it is. I didn't come on my first time virginity councils rape, the cows Virginia. Okay. It on my first time. Really? Yeah. I just saw kidding. I'm mike. I put it in. I was like. Dude. It was the quick hold on condom condom condom. Absolutely. No condom. Yes. I'm with conduc conduct. Which dude I think he explains why if your first time has no condom you never wanna wear. It's like learning. How to drive a stick shift? Yep. Yeah. Why would you ever go back can't go to stick? After that. I've been driving stick for twenty five years of never owned an automatic in my life. Becoming farmhouse virginity. Oh, okay. What's your dates? Good cottam. You can listen to podcasts. We also have the Danish Neil talk show. That's about ready to debut on all things comedy. If it might be a weekly thing. And who knows where I might. How dare you? They're saying we don't have to Bill module. They give you the money. Okay. No. It's actually a very funny show. Did you see the separate Bill? I was there after. Yeah. We thought you were going to we're gonna give new podcast everybody. Ooh. Spoiler alert. I mine who's with a girlfriend that I had. I think it was seventeen. And her whole thing was like, I a doctor told me I can't get pregnant. You can't get girls. I gotta sleep. Why I can't get pregnant and then literally got crazy. I was fucking coming inside you now, and I was seventeen. I trust her. Yeah. I go that makes sense. Great who? Who anyone seventeen and trust? And so we're fucking around in her parents basement she had a Tri level like we're staying at here. So we're in the basement, and like she she's she takes off her pants, and, you know, finger banging her, and then she takes down, my pants, and she just gets on top of me. And she starts like she had a very juicy pussy. Hey, someone's grabbed that audio and said it to me for my ringtone. I see. And so, and then my dick was just hard if she's rubbing, and then it just went insider, she starts writing me, and I see like a showers hind us. And I see I see shadow behind you lost your virginity ghost. No. And then I go and nothing and then a couple of minutes goes by and then I hear voice go and it was her dad. I think it's time for everybody to go to bed. You weren't in my situation when he would have wheels in. Yeah. Yes, he walked you for a while. I think he was like what's going on the lights, but you could see because they had these those basement windows like on these try levels where you know, you can still have some streetlight come in daytime. No, but you could still make out like a little bit like, oh what's going on here? And then I think he's like oh fuck. Go please tell me you said did you see the tile and the door, bro? We left the door open because their parents were asleep. So we didn't think anybody would. So then I didn't come. She stops dead in the tracks than the dad walks away. I was like oh fuck I gotta get outta here. And then about a week later we went and we had sex again. But I just had my tonsils out. And it also had my sinuses is great. So I was on painkillers, and I couldn't come. So what we fucked with no condom for like an hour and a half before. I ended lower. Sect to me. And I came three hours later. What do you mean you come on fucking me? Yeah. We both to. Yeah. I had to make sure it was an hour. Tell your anymore. Are we ruin it? You would let it out of the bags now. It's open. I did not tell any. I said Bert don't tell me about this. But that and you're like, okay inside that day, you were telling people that coming Tracy right away. When you told me, well, when does one person include anybody know? My wife, but that's my wife. Kobe guess what? Are he finally got fucking neutered? So the way. Okay. So you took three virginity. All right. How many did you take just one? I hooked up with. Guys. He's just starting. I've done to. We're going. By the way, we're not done yet over under one more for the rest of your life. One more. It's a push push. Easier. Every Wednesday nine thirty Pacific. What's the? Jimmy twice what never mind. Let's go get steaks. We're not. I'm not being deserts explains. Samuel the first time. No, no. No. No. No, no came a lot. Okay. I'll just stop guys. Let's let's keep attacking for a little bit. And then let them tell us. Yeah. You're too fat. And you could figure nine now, by the way, just juice. That's not true because the water out of this place when Ari got an here that is true. And I will go back and rewind the beginning podcast. We're already dissipated more water than Burke could have possibly imagined too. Big old fat balls just fucking. Fucking eight not ball their free refills at a wild one. Jesus watering the lineup chooses, bro. Okay. All right. Nineteen years old. What's your tour dates my tour dates potshots world tour? As you releasing this this week? Boy, I believe in the next game. I'm in Durham this week Charlotte to shows Durham two shows Atlanta tabernacles two shows Orlando to shows Tampa two shows is longer than ours. But three shows Fort Lauderdale two shows Vegas. Two shows Dallas to shows auditees shows and New Orleans to show, you CIP meet and greet. Bert, Kreischer dot com dot com. You six ad reads for us. Yeah. He speak English. When you do them to have a hard time with so much messing with your ad rates. The best after I met with once or twice. I just went and sat that extra and look to you. And you're like Ari, shh. Stop anything the though seventeen years old. Yeah. Down buddy. Jeff. Dude. I was leak. Yeah. I was like probably one seventy. Hi, Joe at seventeen seventeen five six four. And I was working on like crazy. This is the best shape. I've ever been to my entire life. I saw I saw picture. You showed us the pictures. Jack six jacked he was jammed. And so me, and my buddy Jeff took our girlfriends to Jeff's girlfriend's dad's pussy house. What her dad had a pussy house where he likes an extra little like condo that. He us, divorced. I think he was going through the divorce and then separated they want working on welfare pussy house. We bought we bought a little calls. It a muffs lace of natty light about a case in natty light in Jeff's Jimmy GMC Jimmy door four door to door to door, by the way. I hope Jeff here's this. He'll giggle. So fucking hard. We bought to condoms. The the the m Amoco bathroom you could fight Khanna one to condom because you are barest by like a grocery store. Oh, did you couldn't hear that back? Then. And so we watch pet cemetery. What pets up at Terry? Figuring scare them onto our Cox. And then. And then Mehan the young lady went back to the bedroom. I was in my high school baseball varsity sh jacket, you wait nothing else odd, but the January. Nope. The giants. You get your shirt off you came in the room. Right. I read my shirt with Jagger back on the. But I took my parents off. I love the jacket on like totally naked, right? Okay. Just dropped my pants to my shoes. Schuessel on Jack is still on pants on my shoes. Yeah. Then take conham out in a never seen a condom opposed for never seen a real one. I've only seen them like about TV. Gentlemen. And they dropped them rolled up. I was like, oh, you must obviously you have to wrench the nerds to number one. I thought wacked all the condom note to in registered nerds one. They went to pledge the alpha house or whatever dropped condoms the goat there. And that's right thought they were supposed to be unrolls. Why unrolled it all the way we put it on? I four hundred on. I then grounded the base and tried to slide it over like a sock and it inflated, and I was trying to squeeze year out. It just looks are making balloon animals. I then realize I've compromised that condom that comes. No, good, right? I thought the floor Jeff's go back out. And I say, I need another condom, and he goes doubts fast. I was like I it was broken. But you only had to so grab Jeff Jeff gives me his car. Yeah. Dude, you're not getting my condom grabbed his cO. I'll give you all my condo's go in open it. This clean things like things like reservoir or starting to make sense to me. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So I do it. I slide it over. I get on top ver by the way genes whose meter shoes went to school the Craigslist will to high school. Meet him it it back to the the Florida weekly dances and get on top of her. And in real time. It is I'm in I pull out. It's over it's over over. And then she says to me in the sweetest voice. She was not, okay. She says being the Swedish voice possible who had had sex with her before dad. No. She goes are you going to put it in? Hold on one second like dick between her but she in the bell. I fucked her valid virginity twice. Yup. It's close. It could be I would say you didn't lose your joining the first Jeff end up fucking his lady chance. Harry sidebar here, here's house here. This he knows that. I'm speaking in love. On his lady he ended up fucking the girl that I lost my virginity to 'em my girlfriend for five years. Just like I'll say Jess, Jeff everyone I fought like hold on. And he is the best excuse he goes Burt borrowed my Kanda. Hold on hold on us it by beer, and the worst part about all of this is Jeff has the biggest dick I've ever seen in my life over what like so he's like I would love to say that you were bringing them birds, but I never even got in. So I have no idea. I ended up fucking her that night with a compromise condom to that. And so I went in to Jeff stretch it out beforehand fucking amok. He is shepherd. Cock. He has a taken a really a fucking three sixty change in life because he is not that guy. He's not fucking your wife. Did anybody else productions he he fought her like literally at homecoming? We were this is probably October. I lost my Janati fucker own coming. And I was dating her. And I was like what the fuck then we stays friends, and then I dated or five years. I went to Russia, and he fucked Waller's rush. Oh, no. Oh, no. While you're making a career the machine story. It's the trying. It's so funny friends with him. I am double that's too huge. Now. Comics. Okay, this Jeff character is real aspirin. He he he's not a he's had he'd that's a separate podcast. So call I could tell you stories about him that are blow your fucking mind. He's a good guy. He just had a really really really really rough life. And I think he was always looking for something that he could never like, okay. You can never like quench it. You know? And I think pussy was one of the things friendship implicit issue. And it was like it overlapped for him. I don't think it made sense to him. He did the tool couple people. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. That's a tough one. When you're like when you say like me, you're insecure and you're trying to fill the void by like. Oh, look, I can have a girlfriend, and I can also cheat on her with these other girls, and you're just like go down this road until you finally go do your dick and you need to grow up. And then you meet. That is exactly his story. Yeah. I was addicted to a lot of Ed because it's just like you're insecure kid because you grew up in like, you you had it rough people didn't fuck and treat or twin brother brother that. He lost the twin brothers that he lost. Really? Oh. Doc, thirty minutes later. No, he didn't. At the mall. Then like and his brother got sick on the boat, and they took him to the house will that ninety died of why keep off of leukemia so drunk. Eli that sorry. I'm so drunk, dude. He's he's not a bad guy. My fucking mama told me about Jeff, by the way. Speaking of leukemia doing a ninth anniversary nine year anniversary to the day February eighteenth at the comedy store in LA, California, nine years a day of this not happening or whatever. The name of the storytelling show is Burke. Kreischer Alisa Dc, MS Pat, Joey Diaz, and maybe more raising money for a kid leukemia whose kid really see that story. Who is it is it Jeff's brother because he's dead. It's a friend of the show guys come to all the shows, and it's kid leukemia's raise some cash for really. Really what who's a special guest? Because we just haven't found the fifth question yet. Coltan call Tom or call Joe Joe doesn't want to do. It doesn't really do stories children's stories status thing waiting Jeffries. I'm trying to get. I know you always offered. Patrice Patricia freezes fucking amazing. Yeah. Great story. Great story. You always ask a towel. But I'm waiting for a towel to just finally be like, all right? I'll tell one fucking story. And it's going to be the greatest steinau of all waiting for him. I was like I'm doing his show. It's all boo stories. I know I'm doing this show. Just a you can do a story 'cause I don't have anything like Dave you for sure have drunk stories is that our subject is boost stories, it's a hope or and or fear. Oh, okay. Cool. Let me work on that. I mean, let's let's go. Let's go get steaks. This. How about we keep the podcast rolling as we go to the steakhouse? What are we when we get back from stakes? We'll just pick it back. I'm taking a shower. But yeah, how how long have we done an hour twelve. That's not a podcast what what kind of. Get back if unless 'cause we'll have time to talk shit about other comic close guests post cast. Yeah. Post casts. Okay. Guys. We may come back from this. We may not you may never hear somebody. We're gonna come back to visit. It's possible. If you're listening to hold on we listened to the Danish O'neil show, we call it Poche. Oh talk. I'll tell you what I'm gonna put in here if we don't come out to this. I'm going to put in an hour and forty minutes of silence at the end of this to distract people from the idea that dealt will definitely be more. Yup. Can we organize there may or may not be more? Fucking brilliant. Yeah. If order stakes in dude, I I don't want to get out of the top. It's right. There was a grill here. We already would have gone stay throw them. It's twelve gone now. If you're one hundred percent stakes are let's get out and go get steaks. Let's focus while I'm still pretty we can get steaks. Does anybody have any other hot tub time travel story, did they tell what did I see time travel? Outta my wife's vagina one time. Let's kick. Clip Agar that we have to. Okay. Guys. Great job is trying to get this season that no electricity and she Steve's the first one out. How is it feeling? The fact we have to wall located steam steam dropped chopping here. Yeah. I'm gonna do the same. I want to carry my cord so understand plug me. All right, guys. Thank you very much tuning in. We will see what happens you, totally. Box. The Hoya February fifteenth seventeenth Los Angeles ninety aniversary of the storytelling show, February eighteenth commish remain room all-star show, always Dc miss, Pat. Burt Reynolds -i DS third dollars all to kit kit with Kimia. I care about children Bert Mays on this show. Those does seem like he cares. Faulk may messed up on that one the nineteenth. February are you? Sure. Ju- possibly last time ever in Los Angeles. Cabin weekend. Big. So. Phoenix Tempe, March seventh ninth Miami was palm forty-two six all tickets. Ari? Shapiro dot com Vegas, the twenty-first twenty-fourth short sets list. Norman Vitre Vecchione. Toronto April sixty four th I sold out out of second show soon. All tickets. Are you ACA? Coachella pace. Seattle and Portland come into the. Available Calgary too. I think not up yet. Cleveland in may that's up. It's here. Covers. Queens birth that was that in my. Columbus june. I think that's. Every see we spoiler alert think that maybe she's. Fox trips somewhere between the past prison. Girl lives. Time with my not. Good. I did something unforgivable. Right. Do that. Because. Where are you going? You can't leave. What is what the helmet can't Beatrice here? Disappear with making things right. Stay with me. Maybe. Time we. Comeback. Maybe just fuck you. What I did. Selfish person. Changing. Art. Your life. Call fifty times commit. Yes. The helmet. I did some terrible risk. You couldn't reach the coat. I abandon. I do there's somebody the neighborhood and lock the door. True cents. Head start. Whoever you are. He did. Every time. I was wrong. Nothing. Touchy pulled away. People are bodies. Kick keep lying the way their minds. Stop time ago. For years. Thought. Hiring. If. Putting the time in head down. Everything right. Aching nine feeling of being absolute feeling go away. Stuck with body that is broken a world that is. Apart? Kilby? Let somebody. Tell you. For this whole thing over. Killed her. Easy way out. I told social worker that wanted to live with you and not with her. And then she was dead within ear. You said you wanted to live with just life. She told you. But just couldn't happen. Could continue. I don't think it matters. Whatever I said I've wanted to live with you is internet. Very. Fighting weight. You wanted to? Most beautiful thing in the world. Still have that. Look at you. Now shea down every corner. Piece pushing to be part of this. Stop it. It. Out here. Keeps fucking. This your life force is strong. I don't know how survived all those years. Who? That's the woman that road, Adam green Gables. You know, what I heard she? Oh, deed. I know. Going to say she's haunting. Prince. A century conflict arose quickly. Controversial. For the country. That's true. He's. The video. Egypt. Seven. Got. But continue their inspection. Century onto the phone. About. But. Take ad critic. To destroy. Of the population. Is that? Five hundred km pushing. Free passage. Talking. Jewish culture. Well. Great. Yes. Gen. Kim. The worship. Takes. People. Trivia becomes. Which will? Destruction. Become. Great of the nation. This. Three. Century. Cases conference. Don't. Queuing? I believe have gone. All. Stri. Sixty. Been a single massive on. Stri america. Fresh. Jewish. Twenty people. Type before Christ. Also as traitors captured. Is informed. Century central tricks. Kristen. Religious expedition. Coaching seven. Traits. Poisoning resulting. Trigon? Century. Chretien? Having triplets. Jewish kid. Episode. Richie is called. Nine hundred. Becomes targets. Titian? Superstorm court. Creek. Has improved conditions. This. Pile. More. Joe district. For. The. From that. The. Up to treat. Sorry. Actually, that's what I wanted to talk to you about. Noticing every. Some really obnoxious she smacks little. All my friends on drops. Because. Considered such delicate. Have to tell you. This kid. Aww. Conversation. Seems. Dr. Jeff. If. In helping the country. Nope. Together. Really is really simple. Yes. Because many of the questions. People here. Something feel. Got to country. Not where everybody says. For this. Excellent. He's already. Pretty worried about coal. Noses pleading? It's fine. Disappeared. She doesn't she's my friend. It's a present more like something ship. Okay. Emily. Any? Just sick. Consultant. Egypt rushmore. Sippy. Over. Going.

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