ACS (Part 2): 2019 ACE Awards


Thanks for listening to the Adam Corolla show on podcast one. Well well we keep rolling along and if you WANNA keep rolling along you put some Castrol in crank case your automobile stronger under pressure engines can lose up to ten percent performance performance due to friction castrol edge with fluid titanium transforms under pressure. Keep the metal parts from rubbing and Robin stealing your thunder three three times times three times stronger against viscosity breakdown and leading full synthetics because it is the edge. It's the best is castrol edge everybody at the technical and creative arts aces held earlier. This month awards were given out in the following broadcasting categories best fronts Iraq and with the toolbox station Jason that feels like vacation inside another pre. Ride be sure to tune in this evening for the van Halen fault every weeknight at six from one thousand nine hundred four two onto. We've got an hour as sam and Dave brought to you by Guitar Center. Get to Guitar Center now. For over priced gear and employs with attitudes. It's their annual. It's still way too hugh expensive and I can't find a place to park sale going on now at Guitar Center. We got traffic and weather together sunny skies in the southland. The rest of the country freezes uses. We got seventy four degrees. It's nice whom we are running out of water right now because one of five and you'll win lunch for two at outback steakhouse outback now. Serving Kangaroo Kuku music from Rick Derringer JETHRO. Tull and beloved spoonful next hour got just enough time to tell you that this is brought to you by bed bath and beyond go beyond the bed. The bath that's right. Check out the hallway. Tomorrow's another two for Tuesday double shots that classic Grog all day baby. Here's a ban that we won't play onto for Tuesday because they only got one song it's like they said. Hey if we only get one song. That's it's really make it count. It's also give ourselves a really dumb name like sugarloaf on the toolbox. Green add ladies. It is the best intro joke and now aw he likes boobs like he likes. His walls. load-bearing Adam Corolla. Yeah get it on Mike Day off probably the funeral for one of his customers elation the free time in the morning customer I do mean all right sports caster of the year brother Teve Waterhouse Update brought to you by the rutger. Hauer our the talk show. That is not strewing around women's it's World Cup soccer. USA Let come out of Harris with three loosely related facts. They just keep coming at you. England had as much chance as a straight pride red pray in West Hollywood if the US Women Win The cup. Sunday trump brought tanks to DC to keep them from entering the White House. That soccer wrap up brought to you by dice krispies. Start every morning with a gamble. South America's Pastime Baseball Yankees Played Boston in London and ground them up. Plaguing angry waiter pepper mill shut a local cricket BEN AFTER GAME number. One only six hours. And it's already over. I Want my money back seventh-inning seventh-inning stretch right said Fred saying take me out to the ball. Gag Store Brooklyn Nets. Son Kevin Durant Kyrie Irving and I anti Andrey Jordan. Meanwhile the New York Knicks dropped their car keys. Deva sewer great to eating. Even I don't call that that item sponsored. We're by appointment. The APP that delivers ointment to your door. Exactly when you need it. Best Radio request. I I love this about led Zeppelin when you call in here after request the song. Hey Man can you hear that one about the. It's called the purple alligator. She's got a purple. Oh it's gonNA come on Babe. Come around the block or around that America can can. I request the led Zeppelin Song. This one is called torn Achilles. Like misty hoppy dammit hoppy IPA. I'll tell you what. Let me. Just scrap the let. Ah Hammy take this caller take you to the movies. Let me take you to the woodshed. This one take you let me take you to the move. This is called. I want to take the movies now. Okay forget it. Forget led Zeppelin. Forget it fuck fuck again to take anymore. I want to hear bad companies bad company off the album. Brad Company. Okay fuck it. I'm hanging up and best morning zoo. You have been drug all day all day. Little Grid. Twenty two minutes. Right here with asked Prac- evacuate the Bordeaux but that hurts and you have pop the tap another ass crack at back sack. HR agreeable date ruined fifty one at the top of the hour I'll tell you what Bac Why don't we just March down the hall and walk into Jack Silvers off and see if we can just hashing thing out there in the commercial break. Maybe we could. I'd like to do it because I wanted to show that Saturday. They get free of any personal baggage. That's going to be difficult because you come in here like a Sherpa Erba dragging baggage every single more pass crack the aspects at Kelly to buy Marconi award. Aw I have a daytime local Ami which is as much better than Marconi awards plus I've voted top opt-in DJ in Spin Hits and Radio Dial magazine nine years running strung struggle that I'm not easily led the reason I curb. Here's to inspire people having a tough time getting out of boredom and you think I am intimidated intimidated by your midday television Miami Ami I work itself learning I worked at number one. Why had rigged Fort Lauderdale by the Paul Moves? Include and. I'm GonNa tell you something. I happen to be personal friends with. Check Tab Kelly at that bad has six day tabby awards from local programming and San Diego all kids shows and a big hack but he wants to raise those kids because the parents subtype seventy percent shotgun. Doubt it's kind of what kind of what makes humans humans and why you can't really describe things to other cultures. Churn or the other animals like something rhythmically. Whatever it's it's parts like describe it if you did a great impression? It wouldn't be you know it wouldn't it all comes together. It's one of those you had to be there moments right or or unless your head to hear it but either way it is not something you could right now. It's just there and that's why probably why we love comedy and why we love Magic Johnson taking the ball down the court improvise doing doing something. It's not something you could see coming or workout. Or script out. Sort of his stepbrothers of all things in the movie step brother John. C Reilly Will Ferrell the scenes. Were there sleepwalking. If you wrote that down with sound so fucking stupid like two grown men from walk and run into each other. It's got mysterical all right. Let's see see what I don't know. Where are we on the air? Four here we actually Yeah number four hour force nominee for song song of the year. The twelve rants of Christmas of angry about building codes from the chaser on angry at me too spoiled kids and Dan building codes from the on his third angry rants be three drop call despoiled kids and building Coz from the on this or I may agree Adam brands bean four plates of car. Drop call to spoil kids and building code from the on his fifth angry Rent set me. Free ways saw four three drops call spoil okay from the on. His six reds at me six hours is a fortnight free ways. Four plates of car dropped choose spoiled kid and a building from the on. His seven thing agree Adam. Rents be seven socks appeal. Eight six hours it was a fortnight ways. Four plates have dropped calls US boil and eh from the on his angry. At eight meals from post may seven and Sox feel hours four-night free ways on plates carve dropped goal to spoil from this on his angry at me nine nine Veggie pizzas meals from post me socks nick. Feel eight six hours afford night ways. Four plates of cars dropped go all of us boy. Band building goes from the honest and angry. The Adam turn latkes slack nine veggie pizzas meals from posting Jacksonville. Eight six hours of fortnight ways for placing Carbonari dropped calls us us from this on every atom eleven flights on South West mock you slacking nine nine veggie pizzas meals from post me. Nothing Saxon feel eight six hours of fortnight ways art cars dropped dolls. WHO's living coasts from the ingredient? You had me twelve podcast take flight some southwestern veggie pizzas neal's from post succeed. Fill eight six hours. A fortnight ways off plates dropped calls US news boil. Those guys did all that live mazing and no one was having a sheet of paper now. They're real good. I was like no. They're doing just made up a bespoke song. Once you put it on the piece of paper I went to see them last year after they came in and we took the four year old and it was magical and a little plug that 'cause they invited us back they're gonNa be on the twenty eighth and a couple of days so please go see them if you can't is really an amazing experience. Yeah I totally agree. They're all good guys and and yes. You could hold a piece of paper because it's a podcast and who cares and you've made up the song but it'll be better if you commit it to memory and there's there's a certain pride in doing that absolutely and I just love that there's a super easy way out of this but you're not telling that I love that so good straight no chaser all right. Let's see we go onto Rant of the year number six best musical moment. We're sorry we avenues. We have to. We have to around situation ban. Sorry here's the nominations. For best musical moment we. We'll crown the winner for Song of the year at the end okay. The nominees for best improvised musical moment are data and Aj for Harvey. She was harvey. Grow along these rules are kept their mouth. That's that's part of the way you can see the harvey take and I keep thinking of Charlie girl who often they call him. REPORTER'S FACE ME KITCHEN POW Kuby off of this shower. Wow lose it. He's kind of pattern. They call him harby. Rich banks get to work. Mass smells like an Oscar. That that Song Harvey Dick Down WanNa work in this town again. The song rights and self is the easiest signing sight. Easy Dana Gould. For Jim. Morrison B fifty. Two's mash up songs are written. In people's cadences linking the doors song long riders on the storm is written in a beef fifty bears that killer Rodney screaming like take that road. Rider is odd no harm to his house Adam for Mac Davis tribute all man. It's a it's a it's Kinda rambling from a from a food time. You know what I mean like. It's like listen. Maybe like I'm not going to get up and ramble but after done blown me I need you to ramble. Sell yourself you ramp. Do you get that look in your hot the hot blooded woman child or yes. See you're getting hooked on like we've all had this conversation Ashley. Tash dedicated this person. Hey James what you shouldn't stop blow which is really the undercurrent everyone sub-text just keep min friend. Who Only I'm GONNA blow your? We hooked own. Hey baby only banging on the for John US all set you free baby baby. No Hook me one Bradley Cooper. It's not that hard tests bishop. What for Jingle Bells Paul your ago fly who says you know center our babies that have done in the song long and Brian? For Isaak's Dan Hill Mash Up. I would encourage you guys a tweet. Me Do this periodically a a song that Isaac Hayes would never say it's still too tender for Isaac also when he talks about his feelings gone. Then this leaving you in. It's hard to elite. Were close in its on in the new John Contenders while while now the tests us going to take it because You know sentiment crowd wonderful but come on. Hardy Davis Davis in the Harvey Girl. We just hear Isaac. You know Mac Davis was like he was a singer a songwriter. Anne was an actor. It's like a New York. Dallas played the quarterback in order yet. Mac Davis like mack had like one of those. Oh Chris Christopherson in kind of like careers raised like songs for people and then Sung a bunch of songs then did a bunch of movies either proving that he's super talented or none of those things. Things is really that difficult. Get maybe the difficult part. All right where do you got Dawson. The winner post humorously which means very funny from the grave raved Isaac as. Well done Mr Hayes four four sometimes all right now now we move on to WHO Ran Number six hour six nominee for rant of the year the school lunch debt well the Wyoming Valley West School district in Pennsylvania and hundreds of letters. This week morning parents who had had lunch debt that things get really bad really quickly if they don't square up those bills for their kids the letter which was reviewed by CNN told parents that there have been quote multiple letters sent home with your child that no payments have been made it also said failure to provide children with food could result in parents being sent to dependency court saying that quote. If you are taken into dependency court the result may be your children being removed from your home and placed in foster care about a thousand letters to parents. They're they're freaking out your parents and your fucking kid. Yeah Pieces Shit and listen Tyler Perry. I know you're listening. Don't fuck in swoop in and and settle the debt doughnut swoop in. And make this right. Let those fucking shitty parents figure this shit out this notion of free yes good. These people should get free healthcare. They should have free college and they should have free meal. I've not signed off on it. Not because there's anything wrong with college meals. Heels are healthcare. I'm not signed off on the concept of free. You are fucking people up you tell me if it ever works. These parents have fucking Tuck in kids. They don't pack lunches. The school they said with the school they rack up a bill. And I'm sure it's a buck twenty nine a week or something worth of shed some. The people are pissed off that they owe the fucking school barred. Forty one bucks fuck you. That's what happens with free. It ruins people. Do we not know This good luck. We'll see how that fucking one works out. See how it works. It doesn't it. Can it chant in it. Well Thank Q.. Fuck sticks again the fucking lazy piece of Shit Narrative Well Fuck and parents. They don't want to pay for their own kids and do whatever by the way I guarantee. Three quarters of those fucking talking lazy pieces of Shit Have Tattoos. Where'd you get the money for the tattoos? Where'd you get the time for the Tattoo? What's an average tattoo on your arm? Three hundred bucks. You've company funding hard boiled eggs and green apples. Could you by how many sacks of being seventy sachse right what could you buy with that three hundred bucks or the fuck and tat you got you fucking bitch is fuck you that inspired fucking conversation with a hotline last night shoes explaining about me and my male privilege and it was like a hat rack leany guests and she was like your mail that you don't you don't understand I was like I know your story and she's like what I was like when you were nineteen. Ucla when I was nineteen. That's picking up fucking garbage on a construction site. Said Oh fucking lecture me about my fucking privilege please. Jesus Christ interface. We had a long conversation right. Burr friends but don't fucking lecture me about my fucking whatever when you're on your on campus mid-nineteen near the fucking bell the ball. I could it. Just knock it off. Just go do your own fucking thing. It's it's weird and it's sad but free shit to people pisses them off and makes them agitated and all they want more and then even know what's going on why they're agitated Aright most uncomfortable moment Loman is coming up. Everyone holds their breath for this. I don't know if it always involves Ryan but we don't know it's one of the longer one of those segments of the year all right. You gotTa Dawson the nominees for most uncomfortable. Moment are lar- and Kaelin Kaelin was House sitting days it. We're in Maui. Thank thank God took Care Phil picked up dropped us off. Airport saw good but as we're pulling up about One fifteen in the morning meeting last night. I had this thought how long before I find something that lets me. Know Kaelin's here. I just doc how long then I walked into the bedroom my bedroom. He smells your bedroom and putting them in. There is a bunch of a couple of towels. How's that SORTA like balled up and weird sitting on top of my bureau? Like I have a chest Gerard so on top of it but some unfamiliar towels in an unfamiliar position and I went or these towels came from. Is My chest drawers there and then I lifted them up at abroad came flying out and I thought doc I guess Kaelin was with this Lebron but I thought I didn't have to know that I have to know it because it's on top of my bureau south and it's her bra on top of my bureau literally just took these towels that were like other balled up there on top there on top of my chest of drawers. I'm probably not going to miss him there in my bedroom right by my bed. But I'm like I'll take these towels and I'll hang out to dry or spread them out or whatever then then abroad one airborne when I come out and I went out I guess Halen was having sex in my bed with this cow. Who Wears Calvin Kline thirty four? beat so I thought well that can take that long. We're off to a great start you showed ended up with your lady friend. She didn't come okay. She kind of taking a shower. I took a shower or hot tub. Or what have you but How's it work with the part? Where I find the BRA as I walk into the House that could have been hanging from a lighting fixtures? True the and gate well. CNN reports hold on cable left. Yeah gauge it pulled out it quit I. I don't know doing tried to go get him and he. Just he gave Dylan the P.. Signed it just it just drove away. Clean Office yeah. Did he cleans Out His office. I feel like I was pretty mild mannered with them. I don't know if that was too rough on the on a young boy all right. Well let's hope it doesn't come back. I'm not kidding. Why by the way if that gets him to leave then I don't want him back Thatt's if the talk I had with him about playing video games in front of me and it's messy office that I tell them the clean all the time if that got him to leave and then that's good and Chris? How did we ever find my? Somebody tweeted me. Chicken popper cash or something up the last one I have with from February and somebody TWEET ON HOLD ON I. How does twitter work? How do you and me and twitter work? Ah I sit at my house. I see eight tweets about chicken proper Kosh a day and a half ago and then I go on my twitter and find that thing and you're like it it doesn't exist. There's one from four months ago and I'm like no no yesterday or the day before like people were tweeting me. Hey I WANNA make this. I think it was Anna but yeah maybe so maybe it was I can I can. I'm not blaming you. I'm looking at anything laming but but I love the reason I say this is because at some point we do find it at some point. I got hall like a Web the bucks going on. I just got it yesterday. How do we know when and then someone goes? Oh I got it Gary goes from the other room. I got my search method. Tell me if this is flawed. I searched just look at my go to my page and just look from yesterday or the day before. And you have to see a picture or of chicken Paprika. Anna's twitter inserted outright unfirable but when the two atom I do not I'll Kashan the instant pun. You see what I see on my twitter. Yeah okay so go to my twitter hit thousands a day get a cup like a few go by just tweeted to US looking at everything and I'm not kidding. I why how do you. Oh Act like someone tweeted toward you. Your posture mannerisms like Karol over there. Acting like he's being twit. I said I go to. I went to my twitter. And there's tweets it's about this go to my twitter and see tweets about this or is it all right here. You just look at your time line that you just I. I go to my twitter for like yesterday and look for tweet about chicken. Isn't that you'll see tweets about chicken okay. I don't know about checking my timeline or looking for buzzwords are actively tweeted at me. I don't know they're tweeted at me. I feel like we go through this a lot. I I say blanket statement. Go to my twitter. Somebody tweeted this and then we get a lot of semantics about what happened what we could just go to my twitter. Just look at it right. Okay Adam and Danny the trail when you're in prison. Did you do like a shop class or continuation school any kind of educational. There used to be I I mean but they in fact they had a different college courses but people started on the streets. People started complaining. That guys were going to prison. Getting their their With the first one you get your diploma free from see. That's the that's why do you say that that's not good for saying right right. You're in prison. That's not a free ride some begging the voice of the person on the street. That's me okay I'm sorry for though that's uh-huh and and deal and what's upset about you're just a little hard on on him for this whole thing. What is what am I being? What is the hard part on me? Well he he does a lot of work worked for the show you really pours. His heart puts everything into the show. He doesn't Organiz he's okay. He works hard for the show. Yeah Okay and you don't work hard or Brian doesn't work harder. I don't work harder Brian. Okay he works hard for the Shell House cake with cleaning his office or not cleaning this office as far as the morale here is getting very low with all this this office cleaning. It's worrying me too. Yeah yeah well. How do we resolve this office cleaning? I I called you that day. It's on me. I should be assigning it to people and then I tell Dylan to clean the office. I don't I don't know if you personally told Dylan. Please office or not. Okay Dylan is your morale low. You WanNa take some time off. I'm confused because if you do think I'm as fucking lazy and atrophied and stupid as you think I am then fire tiger me okay to be fired. I would like to have a job here where my work is respected and people. Don't scream at me on there for. We're a fucking radar cord that I didn't put on a shelf but fire me if you think this. Well let's let's take some time off flying on we do that. We'll figure out the rats self esteem movement man. Not a good thing. Thinks it's a good thing. Check with some twenty eight year olds and tell me and how. It's working for them tonight. We'll finish category. Wow all right honor just not to be right. This is the first time you're down streak is broken. You can relax all right Dawson. Most uncomfortable moment. Everybody saw it coming from the most uncomfortable moment. Amount of two thousand nineteen goes to any trail. He did you get heated. Please flipping joke about free education. Dare you all right. Let's see We Are we taking. I'm GONNA break here. Max Banner all right coming up. We have best drops. Best Guess Winner the best ran all ahead right after this. The let's take a look back at the staff's Google search history for the past year Vegan Mexican San Fernando Valley. Asian serial killer Cabins Bill Gates shoes. How does Dennis Rodman make money? Heaven Heart Jack. Zuma Zuma Beach Creamy French versus thousand Daniel Craig shirtless gay marriage longevity. Dr Carmen Electra. Young video saw people eat cassowaries Janko How much does Harvey Weinstein Way? Sometimes when we touch nineteen eighteen seventy nine bantams chatsworth chiefs college of the King's own Kurt. Russell's patch aloha bobby. Lobbying Rose Robert Kraft or a vampire facial jungle roses dangerfield which states have ups Kurt? Laws Eighty five year old man abortion Mark Spitz Sweden protein isolate proud of Turin. Two Thousand Nineteen sports illustrated swimsuit mm-hmm takeoff that brassiere. My near that's sales nine hundred twenty twenty at the Adam Corolla show there we go heading into the home stretch. Many things were working to crown some winters up here. We got the drops OPS coming up. We got the song of the year we got Best ran have all of that ahead. First Zoro Z.. O. R. DOT COM. Find everything for business any size and almost any industry tools equipment safety office cleaning supplies and more tons of stuff for electrical plumbing contracting manufacturing. Being more you can do it for your home can do for your business medium or small large whatever Zoro brands you know and trust Stanley. Three M I use some three Emma. uh-huh double stick tape today Milwaukee and rubbermaid just to name a few mazing Mazen customer service for Real I should say from real people in the US so fast and free shipping on orders of fifty bucks or more and Again you pick up the phone you call these guys. Somebody speaks good English Asia and lives here in the United States visits Zoro dot com slash enemy sign up for the email today. Get fifteen percent off your first order. That's Z. Z.. O. R. O.. Dot Com slash Adam our fifth nominee for song of the year. Kaelin's beds are burning art. How was K then ran? What you how walk Bent Skating Gait? It was not on his chest and routed. They love food. wasn't pleasant His it's such a heads another baby. Yeah Wow be cup or war is Gina Grad knows. It shot glass. That's funny all right. I'll have a Nice Stein of what Jesus surfing surfer them. Why did you just drag your hand across a yes you know we could have been something? Sometimes jokes folks don't work winner. All right aw please of Song of the year so many great submissions nations this year. This man Joseph Fuck you. Rich banks bucked rich. Mike Lynch Grad Gary Smith. We Chris Locks on. I sing with Brian and Mike. Mike Dawson Gina. Range man shops jabs the only one who could actually sing to the whole band here. You guys sounded good but it did does make you. Ironically appreciate eight rich. He can sing all right so now. Bright Shiny Ward best drop by staff right. It's is going to pick the winner. The nominees for best drop by a staffer Bar Jab flaps and Hash Tag Free Bill Cosby to the degree that I do you understand. I don't care I have sucked the dig. I don't know how to put this lightly lightly but who cares and the winner. The best drop up by a staffer JAP laps breath. We got some mileage out of that all right gladly. Take that the best one. They'll Chris we have now best dropped by Jean Christ the nominees for best drop by gene. How are math? I'm on it. She's been around but she's clean. Come get it in blood bitch made asked little boy. I'm out there with a broken. Don't get smoked fuck-ass cracker her. I was supposed to go Christmas shopping with my family. But I'm on tending to my tender tender bottle. There's been a thousand six May and the winner. I mean a plethora. They're all GonNa go good best up by gene is. There's been a thousand. Thank you strong Andy. That's not true the butthole one is the best though. Because there's a moment in which you can tell you like shit. There's going to be a DA. Yeah I was trying to imitate Josh Brolin. I gave you so many gifts this year. Brian Wooten didn't even make the podium. Now we moved to best dropped by more the nominees for best drop by. Adam are Are I'm gay but I'd like to be Gayer when I see something I by most pokka. I'm like mayor of New Zealand. The winner yeah my best route. Buyout him when I see something I take it. It was weird. Whisper again over the right the drop in all right now we have gas ask. Oh sorry this is rob the show the nominees I drop of the year are one hundred percent bullshit a Mike. He's talking about you. You Fuck as Jessica. My asked destroyed today sometimes. Jokes don't work Man This is tough strong mice. Fuck ass is good but the jokes don't work has lay. No that could were well L.. Beyond all all are we. Could we could all pass on and that could still work. That's true how many mics are in this studio mileage out of bed. Look back over the years of ace awards and look at the nominees have mall. You know what I mean like. This may be the best crop of five or stuff. The the winner is of drop of of the year. A Mike he's talking about you fuck as remember who that was in Paul O.. Was Logo Balls Right Buddy. Jokes don't work at the great drop and I will use that. You'll use that. Yeah all right so so that was neil degrasse Tyson. That was Logan Paul. Yeah I know double check. I say I'm right but just check just checking it all right. We have a guest of the year coming up now. The nominees for best guest are. Aj Benz my dog. Ten years ago died on the airplane. which really yeah so? I don't need an emotional dover. We're taking the dog to New York and to go. See your vet not quite I concocted this big extort. I flew on nine eleven. You have no idea. I took that final time. It could have been me whatever phone what how died in ten pound Japanese Chin. Now my dog died on a plane from L. A. New York about an hour and a half into the file guy trying to feed him for a little piece of Ham and stiff as a board. It was the worst next three and a half hours horrifying horrifying. They put him in a hole a hole in the fuselage in the back of the plane. That kind of keeps something cold if something dies and let me tell you something. Dogs expire of pets expire. They release a lot of guests that carefully midst of looking at me. I'm like eight me. Broadening Dot com the mass. Well Yeah Yeah. It's always a dog. It's not a chicken or a pig. The people these people take on planes. It'd be very triggering for you to bring another dog. You don't have a pet not since my other dog died so this could be a very emotional. We'll see the people who take dogs on my dog to see my sister's house before she sells els. It's all taken dogs yes. My sister has seven. I have one. My nephews have five of four between them. AM So we're all taking the dogs there for the last week long. What stock yeah? It's kind of a sister beginning of a chick flick it's very. It's very good okay. So the dog expires expires on the plane. Terrible yeah I now at the gas part adds a wrinkle. Because I feel like I would just slide that thing under the it wasn't it was under. Let's see why did you say anything. I just first of all the amount of gas it was like ten drinks at the bar. You know Jimmy Ken Clams and cabbage wherever we ate it. Yeah you couldn't get away from it and I'm crying and they came across it. My dog died. They put it in a hole in the plane in the back. And you know we. We took it to the vet. We got home and had an enlarged heart and no no idea ten year old dog gray little Yorkie. Little boy died that Dana Gould. I'd like to play the role of a segment producer over at Fail that I was too tight was that should I should open that one. I healed there. We have some new management here and I know you like to play things kind of fast and loose bruce and shoot from the hip but what I am going to need is a shooting schedule. A breakdown I what I'm saying. Is I saw what you did at the Bagdad cafe. You walk more that no Horo. There was an. We're in the middle of the desert and there was a road sign with a one and a five on it. Bats to our I need to our Jill would look The Godfather was less than two hours. As I recall a right around down there that had characters that plot that had Marlon Brando that had movement that had pace a star wars these things. You can't take empty highway away and fill it with two hours of rocks and gravel and scorched desert and chaparral. I got tightness. My background background is MTV. We see we're on the same page because you're talking about the godfather and I got coming up three and a half hours with the woman who found a unkown that from a certain angle. Looks like James Caan. Yeah Joe decide three and a half. Yeah but so. Oh you're Kinda illustrating what I'm saying here. which is we can debate whether the pinecone should ever even air? But I'm saying that is a ninety second hit hit Max three and a half hours you have to get you know. It's like onion there's just levels. He was in rollerball. James James James. Have you ever gone to to to to roller rinks. I've seen in who I am familiar with skinny Minnie Miller. There's there's a roller rink in Glendale. California yeah that well now I I just did a remote exactly five hundred feet from it. Okay he'll talk about. I've wanders it is. It's a chalk outline around that restraining order. We don't need to get in need to get into the the sticky fingers of a middling bureaucracy. Chris Distefano your mom Within the second tower. Yes she she. Yeah when that happened so I knew I'd been office before. She was like the sixty eighty fifth floor. The second tower that said on nine eleven. But when you know that happened I went to an all boy Catholic high school in Queens and we could see the World Trade Trade Center from the art class. That was you can see for most of the classes so we just saw the buildings on fire and then the teacher came in and he was like a boys cities cities under attack. You know those buildings. I betcha I guess this is before it happens like those buildings aren't fire so whoever if you guys have loved ones they are go call them now because he was he kept saying. There's a preposterous chance. there's an astronomical chance that people everybody in those buildings are dead. I was like well great. My mother works in the second one and then he didn't care he was like well go caller and then did line was busy. The line was busy the whole time so I I started to cry because you know I thought my mom is dead and explain why you're crying but also you know seventeen years old emotional but you know I was taken we believe. Yeah so this kid like I said all boy Catholic school so this kid started frank. Start to laugh at me fries. Yes so I broke a chair care over his head because I just am I so emotional. I'm not that kind of guy you know but I just bang him and I got thrown out of school. That was Tuesday and then I didn't and then my mom was by the way I thought my mom is dead the whole time until I got home I finally got home and my mom opened the door and I genuinely thought at that moment I thought she was a ghost in my body. I was like she's a ghost because I had my I was then the towers fell down. So she's definitely know. What time of day was it when when you saw her with your own eyes what my own is that must have been about four pm because she had to walk over the Brooklyn Bridge? Everybody had to walk over the Brooklyn Bridge so when I saw her I was like Oh my God and she had blood all over her legs and I was like then I got like I rate then it was like I'm joining the army like our and she was like no no honey. I fell off the bus in Brooklyn and it was like watching you escape. Nine eleven took talk the boss and she was like I slept off the bus and then so it was like this moment but then I didn't tell her that I got thrown out of school three hours before that because I put somebody in a coma so I just I Wednesday. We had off at the time and a place for this Wednesday Ralph. All New York City schools were closed. Thursday I just like Larry. David just walked back into school. I was like they forgot. Who is a national charity? Come on they forgot. And as soon as as I get there the principal's like Distefano home. You're out you're out so I had no choice leeway on that well time and when did you get a scent of a woman style hearing the whole school there so I call my father. Who's like an old school like kind of like Brooklyn Bronx Bronx Guy? I think he was like a bookie. I think that's what he did. You know that he never had like a real job. WHO's always like a cash kind of guy that's just like the guys? I grew up around my dad. I called him and I was like Dad. Look I'm sorry I got thrown out of school. I hit somebody in the head with a chair and my dad was like well. You didn't get thrown thrown out of school yet and I'm like well I did. He's like I'm gonNA come down there. I'm going to negotiate and I was like you don't have to data like I'm expelled. I was in the wrong. He goes. Now there's no evidence thanks. I swear to God so we comes down to the principal's office on. Never forget this US wearing like a New York Yankees batting practice jacket. He had a cup of Dunkin donuts. Coffee he was wearing his huge Shane. He has like the like one of those. Like Jesus Jesus actual height and weight and gold right chain. So he walks works into the principal's office. And like you know. Keep in mind. I mean you know you have to have a meeting with the principal. There's the secretary is a whole system. My Dad just ignores all that he goes which which room is at and I was like sat room so the secretaries like are GonNa help just ignores walks in the prince. I'm seeing this like from behind my dad. The principal was on the phone and my dad goes. Hey can I talk to you and doesn't introduce himself nothing in the principal's like to use me. He goes yeah. I'm Chris data needs to talk to you on their principles while I'm on the phone so you have to wait outside and my dad just hangs up. Default power just hangs up the phone. He goes looking at now. You not on the phone James Broiling I was going through the chicane and it was just after dark which is or at dark. You know which is the toughest time on a track Can't see you can't judge judge well and suddenly in in the dust I see this. What looks like a Hog? I mean a four hundred pound dog and it was a pet that that somebody had brought. 'cause you know the whole center of the track is loaded with motorhomes drunks right well. They brought their pet hog the HOG Lordos. And it's running any across the track at the chicanes and I go. This mother is going to scoop right up this Porsche Hood and right through the windshield and take my head off the unless I get this thing sideways. It's very. I hit the brake and I did what I did. And guess what it caught the front of the left tire and rip the AARP and the tire completely off the the nine twenty four Porsche. He's driving is low with a long wasn't out of us now know now. There's a six now it's a four with a turf. I don't remember that little car. I didn't drive it. Remember you telling you yeah. I remember. Turbo charged forbid people. Don't get mired in six four three in race car tram because they have f one cars or four sellers. Eight hundred dollars smarts all how they put the turban but it's a long low front hood it's like a wet show for the pigs. Come through the windshield decision. Had to be made in how how many military. Oem milliseconds. And so. But I would just amazed at that tire and a arm just past being like nothing and then the truck drivers later brought this cooked hog in the morning to me and said there was no. They found him in a ditch rolled over and there wasn't a mark on skin. That's where they make. Footballs these bastards and Chris Catan. I love Saturday night. Live I always love. serenade live except for one teacher Khallid performed but I'm right but another one the guy yeah food to copy another one like some ranch with those fries the one okay normally. We don't put the Chili really and the ranch and on top of the fries. The one okay. Would you like a steak cut. FRY curly fry or just traditional Friday. The one okay would you. He likes to dump the ranch into your mouth and then this push the fries about another one okay now. We don't have Bundt cake for breakfast and we don't. We cannot put the eggs inside of the whole of the funnel cake. We don't normally do that but I think we might have one left just another uh-huh thanks for setting me up for that. Really good at the Morongo Casino. No all right. We got a seven card. We got a seven having packed over all right so Mister Kallad you You gotta nine. You flipped over face car. Do you have nineteen. I'm I got. I got the three showing so I guess you're good. You'RE GONNA YOU'RE GONNA stand on that. I'm not the one okay. You have a look. I'm not here to you. You have three showing so I'm probably GONNA flip face car and then probably bus. Are you sure you WanNa hit another one on going back to Cali automatic gallon that James Brolin story was Max fan and You'll know Dawson let's talk about Seib ring singer Daytona probably bring must have been talking about bring whereas the Chikan. Well there's a chicane like that's a part of racetrack. They not all racetracks. But they'll put him in like the Molson's straight at Lama was like three point seven miles and long young guys. We going two hundred forty five miles an hour when they got to the end and people dying so they put a little wrinkle in the middle of it to kind of slow you. You're down a little by little speed bump for racetracks like all right. There's a chicane and we can't go two hundred and fifty miles an hour die in the middle of the night so there is a chicane at Llama. Llama does have a bunch of people showing up in camping in the middle but it was C- bring seabright. Yeah because see bring probably has when two and see brings Florida. It's a little more trashy right to correct them. On the number of cylinders they'd have a pig out field. Yeah all right Dawson sorry. Good the winner of the two thousand nineteen as awards for guest of the year is Aj Benza. Well guys awesome all right now when we wrap up in eight minutes. We're going to go to the shop and you shall see the Porsche that one see. Bring outright six one daytona outright as well in one. It's class at Lima. But not outright came in second at Lama so always appreciate all right. Our last Number seven ran to the year our seventh nominee four rant of the year little Miss Sunshine. This is when we jumped the fucking shark. BLAME MISS fucking movie. I'll tell you why great canir is a fucking dad in a very good traditional way. All he's doing is like working and and all these doing is talking about. Don't eat ice cream for breakfast. You're going to do little Miss Sunshine. You shouldn't it's unhealthy for you. He is the hero of this story. The producers and the director made him into the goat of the story. He's The dad. There's something wrong with him because he's trying to like hustle up work work and he's trying to keep his family together. Whatever you got the brother the gay brother who tried to slit as rests and they're like sitting around the dinner table and she's like what happened? Here rests Uncle Rob. And he's like well. When I was done blowing my boyfriend I decided and and great careers going? I don't think that's acceptable like devil. Let her nose. You know the drill the fuck you. She's fucking nine. She doesn't need to know how about this guy killing himself because gay partner left him for an author. That's number one number two. She's going to beauty contests she. He does need to know about nutrition. She ordered fucking ice cream and pancakes for breakfast. And the Fuck Insane Guy. The same same guy. Thought it would be a bad the idea to talk about suicide at the dinner table when they're back in Arizona also think it's a good idea to talk about eggs more nutritious breakfast and yes especially especially in ironically when you're on the way to contest the other here on the movies fucking junkie. The junkie sex offender are fucking GRANDPA. WHO's a fucking junkie the most inappropriate fucking GRANDPA and the world? He's in the next room. Doing a couple of rails. He was thrown out of shady acres for being sexually inappropriate with other members of shady acres. And now he's been thrown out multiple old age homes for getting Hansie with women in the in the fucking home. He's a junkie WHO's a sexual Predator and he's a second here who teaches his daughter his granddaughter granddaughter dance like a fucking whore and he's the fucking hero and then the gay guy tried to kill himself. He's the second in the line of hero. And the fucking can one sane normal guy in the fucking movie great ca near the Dad he's the villain he's the Dumbo. He's the BEFU. He's the clock plot. Now where are we now in society. We're short on the Caen ears. We got plenty of junkies running around and this movie caused it. Aw it got it completely backwards. That Chit couldn't dance for Shit. She has no talent. That's the other thing like the other chick comes out. She plays concerto on a steinway. The other chick comes out she spent in baton and doing the splits. All stuff you have to practice for all stuff you have to dedicate time to and then in this bitch comes out shapes her ass like fucking drunk stumbling out of a fucking bar and we're all supposed to start applauding. The kickers put no effort. No time it has no uh-huh skill level indoor fucking he's one hundred percent backwards and it marked the fucking of our society. We jumped the shark with this fucking moving. She's got damn price and everyone was like apply. She's got no just no talent. And what about the other fucking girls who worked asks off for the competition. Why bought by the way? Why bother practicing anything? Why pick up the baton? Why pick up a guitar? Why pick up a cello? It doesn't matter anymore. One learn to play the harp. These get out there and stagger Roun- some sort of a dance and then everyone will start slowly like dart to slow slow. Clap for you fuck that but of course it can we love it. We Love it love it. I know people do. They've you stuck with male time. Do your bid on dear. I'm fucking dead serious. I'm not doing a bit anything anything. We're we're fucked as a society because of this movie. This movie represents what we've done we've fucking gone from great career to the fuck and a cousin or that stupid. It's gene abroad up the the clip the PUCK and brother took the valve silence. Because you WANNA be the fighter Jock we fuck and jumped the shark. That's where we are fucked with those guys with. The guy tried to commit suicide with the cool mom with the vow silence guy. Our societies destroyed. Royd with those guys. There is no more society with those guys by the way. Those guys don't do Shit Harbinger. They don't do any marketing. Sit around and they comment on on how they don't like other peoples bridge-building war waging and fucking skyscraper building. Are they sit back. And they comment on things. They don't do check fucking fucking shit those pussies don't do shit. They write about other people and how they don't like what they did with tweet but they don't fucking do anything. We don't want that. We don't want that. We want to celebrate the people who do things and not the fucking snarky douches. Who comment comment on how they don't like what the other people do? And that's where we're at so listen asks wife if that's a society or their you'll have it you got it good fucking getting luck with your next golden gate branch. Good fucking luck with your next world. War Good fucking luck to you pussies. Good Luck No. He's going to be there to build it. Fight it or do it. Good fucking luck. All right DOC- submitting rant and super positive outgoing message to the airport. Jesus fucking Christ. I never thought we'd get to this point. That movie represents everything. That's wrong with our fucking society that's right light a fucking candle and blow it out with a fart because we're fucking done people. It's insane fucking due to do shit and those who fucking sit there and fucking snarky comment on them. And that's what this the whole world is turning into and some out there the fucking Harrison people that talk about shed are the heroes people fucking do shit are the heroes. What's what's the last time? These guys did anything. When's the last time these guys did anyone they build? They make where they manufacture all they do is in full their arms like you big. Whatever pharmaceutical auto whatever your carbon footprint like Oh yeah okay commenters you fucking do something I gotta get my fucking car? You're and I gotTA drive home. Well actually have someone else dry makers all buzz. But the point is who's footing the fuel in the tank who's manufacturing the car. WHO's making a fucking who's who's who's WHO's steel? How do we get it? How do we get here? PUSSIES are we should all this fall arms. Yeah how'd you get that fucking iphone. Ten who made that Chen. Kun vetted that Shit who melted down the medals who cast shit. Who designed the shit? Who did that US? WanNa fucking starkly. Go Away on your laptop your phone your computer fucking electric car back to your fucking Condo. Who built a buck in Condo? You'll live at who built the Buchan roads who built all this shit you fucking pussies. He's shut up for two thousand and twenty. Shut your fucking face and get the fuck to work it. Don't fucking critique those who do work because he's been more fucking working like you sit around. Oh the fuel that they burn. Okay Magic Fuck Fuck and pixies you get us a magic wand you fucking fucking fix everything. You've fuel everything you create everything you build everything. Give Me Your fucking magic wand you fucking hypocrite pussies. What would you go to do yes? We do. have to burn calories we we make we put carbon into the atmosphere. Because we're making steel for the CONDO. You live in steel for the car you drive. How how would you like to do this? Would you like to live on the dirt or you explain to us your special fucking talent for creating things that doesn't involve any burning fossil. A fuel are burning of anything you tell ears get your magic wand out force you fucking hypocrite policies or shut the fuck up because we're tired of fucking listen. Can you assholes. I WanNa hear another one fucking assholes in two thousand twenty explain to me. What's problematic to you? Twenty six year old fucking pussy. Doesn't know shit about anything's things never fucking worked at Dame your life you tell me all about fucking problematic to you shut up we have a fucking country to run get the fuck out of the way but the fucking adults run. Can you shut up all right. Joy Is Best fucking Christ. Look you can complain all the Fuck Fuck you want about what. We're doing what they're doing what he's doing what she's doing. You must come up with an alternative plan that works. If you don't then shut up you you can talk all you want about burning fossil fuels cars and automobiles and roads and vulcanized rubber. Whatever good come up go invent something that works better or shut the fuck up? I don't WanNa hear anymore. Two Thousand fucking twenty. Thank you Christmas goal that first of all Amen and God bless America. Thank you yeah the winner the two thousand nine thousand nine hundred awards for Rant of the year is Gillette and toxic. Fox's masculinity boys wrestling kind of dovetails into what you were just talking about the what the fuck is five zero boys wrestling on a lawn whether it's negative about that unless you're Shankar or dude. Who thinks like a chick dude who thinks like a chick? That's where we're at now all right. Let's see I'm going to jump in really quick and in that rant Adam you said it don't it won't it can't and it. Shan't I want to thank all the people make this show possible. You got your Dawson's out there. Air Your Mike Lynch Kaelin's your Gary's your Matt Bond Leers Your Ami's your as we call him. George Mike August this and Chris Mexa pad Dr Crew thinks. That's his real name Mike. He's talking about you. Fuck as we got Gina we got Bryan and with a why we had read a good point. Your fucking luck with a white boy that saved. Save Your ass man. It'd be a whole different life for you superfan Giovanni Dick Banks as well Charles. This over there eating Barbecue Req- thank him as well. Here we go into. I never know how to word this but passing year. Eleven coming up in February all because of you guys because of the people that are listening who who knew this like fake job can turn into a real job and Crazy uncreative family and while the families are creating families. It's it's wonderful I should give jean-ann ball Brian a moment or two to say what I think at the end of the ear because it would be unfair. Just sort of steamroll over here. I wish good. I've said this multiple times to multiple. I cannot believe in February I will be here five years and I still feel like the new kid every day sort of a longer. Thank you Bob I still feel like I'm new and I'm excited and I want it to be good and I want to prove myself and I'm just happy to be here so thanks for letting me be here. I I love it. Gina I love people. Low self esteem do fucking talks about high self esteem fucking eight tracks. I like Lowe's and Undo my dear you gotta keep it steam and that's we'll never have a fucking crossword of course word or an argument. It will always always be that. I love that Brian on the other. Hand off the top of my head. This has been one of the best years of my life. with Ten Years Yeah. Ten Years Since diagnosis Ten year anniversary of Lonzo Ball last four Ryan doing laps with raising tons the money. And it's been you guys. Adam Gina everyone under this roof and everyone listening has been the big the biggest part of it aside aside from obviously Christie and Tessa. But like it's the engine that's driven you'll probably been my best year so thanks you guys thank you and thank you listeners. Stand stand You can go to Ankara Dot Com. All the live shows and chassis for all the VOD's and DVD's and anything that ends in a in a D and. Let's see last football Brian as we just discussed available on one hundred fifty K.. All going coming to a damn damn cancer. Cancer Sir You get like two and a half hours of comedy for under five bucks in can sign up for Corolla Roland newsletter. And you can also check out my new book or at least you can pre-order it at Barnes and noble and Amazon Dot Com. I'm your emotional support. Animal animal animal animal. You can Give some love to Mike Lynch. You worked really hard on that book as well. Nand on the ace awards and tell next time which is two thousand twenty seven for all fourteen Grand Ball Ryan say Mahalo. Thank you for joining us. For this year's ace awards share with a friend and show them with bay. Amy Missed in two thousand nineteen and get them listening in twenty twenty produced by Mike Dawson and Mike Clinch Co producers. Chris Locks Mona. Gary Smith Kaelin Bean. Andy Flint is and gave Maldonado special thanks to archivist. superfan Giovanni Immortal Throne Score for the ace awards. Thanks to extreme music. Recorded using road microphones and edited on Avid. The drew tools and adobe audition catering by chick-fil-a unless you're Jay Leno Hotel Oh tell accommodations by Kaelin's airbnb putting the B. Cup in. BNB come for the bed. Leave the BRA travel to the ACE awards furnished by car with an open trunk with Mike August bag flying out of it. No animals were hurt. Production the ACE awards unless you count Phil being kicked in the ribs by Olga might. He's talking about you. Influx of the ace awards.

Coming up next