Is social media killing your identity?
Makes you happy. It just depends on so thank god. They don't bigger and could do well to conduct the episode of the podcast. I'm so happy to have you back in just like always. Your presence is laughing to this podcast. Because you're what makes us special annually for me and britain's podcast so let's get started something that needs to be discarded on something. Let's see frieden line Talking about so far. Also just a kramer this going to be a sensitive wrong for a lot of view and trust me. It's okay if you don't agree with me. It's okay if Sit twelve with you all in asking to do is to infect to hear out by perspective into see if it's walk Satisfy you can dismiss it if you want. You can keep it if you want so. Let's get started In the last episode we talked about imposter syndrome and imposter syndrome is the ceiling. Get everything that we are fraud and they don't fit eighteen among the people that were around this nagging feeling dan. We're going to be caught one day for all play or the facade that you put on for so long and honor. Competitions are just a fake. Our accomplishments are not chew. So this feeling that we get is called pasha syndrome. Now wait a talking about something. That's related to probably read the title of this episode. So you know what i'm talking ma. It's social media. So of course on fox are very active on media. Most at least me know what it is. So unless live on iraq you know what social media has. It is all those things that keep you connected with people online so simplified Received as something that keeps us connected to a human beings to digital platforms because of course code with everything else. It's been hard to find collectively. It's been hard to you. Know not feeling Lonely and to have someone else's viewpoints right on a touch of handwrite on the tip of for fingers during so it's those benefits associated with really enjoy because we're able to connect with people were able to share joy or sadness or share. Whatever the other person's fearing just with a picture to their staffs just through so many other colorful paying social media puts across our screen for us to see and uneventful agreement of it because it has dropped in a lot of good things in our life. I mean it happened impossible for me to talk to my friends during kobe. If it weren't for let's face worn for need to see their instagram's and see what they're doing in to be able to see how they're enjoying for what they're doing with their time. The home the quarantine so things like that has been very helpful in terms of staying connected with people normally would have fallen out of touch just because of being a toddler connectivity. Where do we stop in. Right is very we. Draw the line very known that it's starting to impact us in a negative and first of all. What is that negative alien. How does it take to the level where it completely butchers are self esteem or self confidence and in a way causes an identity crisis so first of all the thing that social media does for australia presents a part of the picture of other people's lives. I mean just being on you're able to see what other people are doing and how they're enjoying life. Let's say you see you open instagram. You see a story from a friend who went out on a saturday night. Their friends and they were partying or anything like that. I mean kuwait could say they were at home. Having a good time with the family posted a snatch our like a picture of their moment there will smiling little. Kathy got a good time cooking. Because it's a saturday night at home so things like that now. That pictures was think about it. Do you think this is what they were doing. The holiday and i you're gonna say no very prompt and you're going to say that you know of course like i know that social media has pictures and as part of the day to day but hear me out while they see on social media is what people want us to say rates overseeing is image of. What's being put out for us to say so like a good metaphor for Tip of the iceberg. What we're seeing is just what they're doing on the outskirts. You never know what happened in that kitchen. You never know if that person is not settled with them or not. I mean good for them. They are unhappy. Mud saying run has disabled relationships with their mothers one. I'm trying to say is that there's so much that goes on in the background that we don't know about and just by the outer image of things we tend to judge upon it tend to Become sure overseeing so. Li li compare others outskirts with our internal. So we compare others externals with our internal than this fits right into the ideal social media. Because we're able to see how happened. Someone looks how much they're enjoying their time. But we don't know what's going on in the inside and this has the ability to completely completely. Take down our confidence our self esteem or walgreens during the our lives in just being able to see that or this person of enjoying this night with the mom i might become sad. The why do i not have that close relation. My mom used to cook with her. Make cookies with our little. That's not true. I'm not baking cookies in her. There are other ways express than we do a lot of other things. So maybe maybe we need to start drawing lines for what we see on. Social media does not become internalized into who we are or. It's it's not a race trying to run. I know it can be hard because the are it's very easiest cape from our reality. Sometimes you don't feel like we don't. We're at work gorgeous simply procrastinating. It's easy to just open up your lock screen to perform and pop up any of the social media apps and than there used tooling start seeing videos up. Bq happy because first of all. That's what the algorithm the algorithm is supposed to the algorithm and social media. Supposed to show you the things that make you happy. Let's say all the things that you're interested in like i have kurdi hair And i used to be very into looking at like the girls here and see how they keep up with the her. Or what did you do to manage it. And they learnt it of course right like. That's all the people on the Out there doing the building of algorithm very strong so that the able to engaged. Now i i would start schooling. starts all these gorgeous with perfectly pretty cardi hair and my initial motivation for looking at apple's just to learn how to how to keep the her credit cards like some sort of curbing training some sort of shampoo. What is it rate. But then slowly turned into me comparing right here with their hair. And that transitioned into me comparing my puberty or our local physical appearance with someone else's call appearance Good as at look as good as they do and before unit it took down as confidence that in field pity anymore. I feel like doing anything with her anymore. Because it just felt like thank like. That's never going to be as good as the person as i was spending hundreds of hundreds of bucks on of these women had and i was trying to follow the advice and a made me even more sad knowing that i'm not able to you know not able to get what i'm trying to get even after falling the steps that someone else did so. This is a very smart example. How social media can slowly creep in your mind. Interprets -nology indefinitely cause a identity crisis. I say that's one side of the social novi comparing in room making ourselves sad about it and we don't even realize because it just seems like on games it's going to be on inch number five minutes taking rake but if the compounding effect it all starts to add up slowly school starts to boot up. I mean seeing one girl one day and then seeing another girl on social media the other day in an starts to boot up everyone out there look so good. Why am i not able to do that or that. Save the food right. Like i would john in scum law flew by the way and i would like double tap Picture off this chocolate cake this one time and slowly. I started listening more chock as on feed more cakes more food or junk food and then of course it so coflin pretty. You know what i'm talking about. It looks so delicious like messy. It would be guard. His they have create hair occurred here and food. So you drew me. Tell what obama priorities lied. And i was willing to my seat in would be liking pose after post food and then I'm also into how the eating on someone who's trapped tries to stay fit so what happened was slowly. I started to feel that everyone on instagram. Where everyone on the social media app about so many people on it are having this deliciously gorgeous food in. They're enjoying their life because they look perfectly fit in beautiful and the food looks so good why why denied myself of this food wine. Not having the stuff that everyone else's enjoying or women not having a chocolate cake simply and that kind of destroyed relationship with food slowly because I started having all those things started having things that weren't good for my body and i'm not saying chocolate cake is bad or any kind of food that are classified as bad but i knew that did not sit while the my stomach and the only reason why i started to have it was because Since everyone else is having it should be good at it is normal and deserve it as well so it took away my personal definitional good or bad for me and i had this definition from society that it made me take on so not destroy relationship. made me overeat at times. It made me eat food. That was not good for my body and it had a direct impact on energy levels. On how i started feeling about myself because of course adding unhealthy food took down my confidence level and things like that they add up. They make the change. We are in south aways and you don't even realize it. So this is one aspect of social media. Ri- bill up our identity. It makes do things that we normally wouldn't have done puts thoughts in our heads. Do not related have would have not had right the other aspect of it is if you open up your social media account if you look at what post your posting may see. What kind of image are you creating argue. That person argue do the people around who really truly know. How would you feel if your mom. So handsome young shields. That's not you. I'm i'm shocked. That doesn't look like it made for some at least through. We have these pictures of ourselves. We re looking nancy happy or joyful. We have like the league. Amazing ramic on social media was a great lives and when we talked like appearance or a core people who know us really well even on our insights. I think we can keep our hand on her out and say. That's that's what truly who i am or that's not that does not represent even one percent of who i am so imagine if someone else landed upon your social media maybe you're putting out an image for them as well to see that makes them question there southward and we get stuck in this infinite loop rear out being others one percents representational social media in It's making us question. Ourself work and you're putting out this picture of herself as one percent of who we are and relenting make someone else question their for now. I'm not saying your intention or someone else's intention is bad because all of us do it out of you know. We want a few good luna show that we got something good if he is nice to show will be happy with the word but oftentimes all it does is it feeds are eagle and either That it destroys our dogs on the insides Destroys others because it drops us of the tent city robs us off our image because we try to be known for someone else for the world to see. We're not meant for eight thousand people to look at our locators and judges who we are and then you have to keep up this facade to impress people so definitely if if you're able to see what i'm getting at social media. Ads impartial syndrome. Because when we started feel that we don't belong everyone out. there is having a good night. Good time saturday night. But i'm out here at home. You're and suddenly i feel like a misfit salting all these things add up into making us or software at times and i might only ask here i don't have any kind of action steps Only as for you is boomer. Mindful social media. Try to see what it's doing to try to see what you're seeing on your feed Ready to come from because let's say the food it can't maybe one day. I crave chocolate cake. That started this whole impact off feeding the food. So what started that State dot com on your social media. Why are you see what you're seeing wise. You feed food with things at us is sad. The thing you're lacking in your life becoming more mindful ass makes us question more. Things makes us things that we would have normally thought about and using social media carefully we can do wonders for us but if the use it if the social media uses us than you no one can save us. Because then we'll be used social media the victims office and not the other way round To use social media jim benefit. Do not let me to use you and this could be done in thousand as for me. I started limiting screen time for me. I started instagram Notifies if you have exceeded its own mount vanishes excellent. Because tell you. Hey you've been here for too long when you're minutes exit the app try to make those features because they are for your benefit now that is using socially to your benefit and do not completely cut it off. Because then you might have a Wanna go rushing back to it and it talked to completely cut out things like that. So maybe baby steps and start noticing. What it's jane to you and what the impact is an thank you so much for listening. I hope this helps. Oughta hope. I hope social media is used to your benefit and not the other and have a great day. I am so happy that you spend time with. I'm super grateful for the person you are your unique and just remember that i.