Lubed Up Skin with Whitney Cummings
Introducing built to last a new podcast by american express. I'm elaine well trough. And i'm excited to host debut season where we will be deep diving into the stories history and continued legacy of small businesses. That shape american culture through these important conversations will hear how the black business leaders are. Pass have inspired. Today's black owned small businesses and communities. Join us for the debut season of built to last on spotify apple youtube or wherever you get your favorite podcast Okay everyone welcome to crazy to be episode of going up. We're going to get right to it. We do for forty five minutes. Or should i just leave we can. He said that you can tell the people that are already listening to your podcast listener. Podcasts subscribe but just fan i. That's another podcast. Look esther as eight podcasts. It's it's all good. It's we jump right in. We don't have announcements On the show the one. The only low whitney cummings knowing what whitney beauty are being here. Here's a lodging. I have not shared by skincare routine with anyone. Turn off your notifications carolina. Esther that's her. That's carolina whitney off minor rocks. It's one of we might never figure it out. I have not shared my skin care routine with any one. I tried to make a youtube video a couple of times. And i my perfectionism took over and i felt like it was elitist because one of the Oils was like forty dollars and then it was too many oil. so do you want to have the exclusive. Is that what we do on this show. We would love it off. Act that all of airlines his working in the background. It's really frustrating. I can her stressed out by my by my room by my hair with the famed. Your i your parents spaces beautiful. It's just. I don't know why anyone would let me so asymmetrical but i'm a big fan of wabi sabi. It's japanese word that says when something imperfect exactly actually more beautiful when something is broken they build it. They put it back together with gold because Something that's been broken is actually valuable than something that it hasn't so that all is that all three of us wabi sabi is rustic. It's resurrected would its nine earn shine as again until year her. But but yeah. So that's why we're we can be messy. We can kind of be best. We can be no astor's sloppy. i'm talking. Oddly sabi which is about minimalism and honor. Things that are extensively thought up is flaws. So what do you want to know about. This gotten whitney told did this a million times. You're the oj of skin care like literally in nineteen ninety four in the hallways of the comedy store. Maybe it was two thousand nine still. Og i saw you greasy dripping in oil on your face before the skin-care movement before youtube like literally to the point where the boys were making fun of you like. Why is you dipped in oil. Why is she your face so wet in her vagina so dry. So here's what i'll say. I'm going to be real like sustained in clear. Because sometimes when people do their beauty routine. And then i just use these things in. It's like it's very chaotic. And it's very instinctive. And the way that i think about skin. I learned this early. Because i grew up around horses and i had to oil. Saddles was like the chore that my aunt gave me and i learned a lot about how to preserve leather her. So think about your skin like a piece of expensive leather and expensive purse. Expensive shampoo whatever it is. What are you going to do to make sure that leather does not dry out or wrinkle or deteriorate. You're gonna keep it out of the sun you're gonna never you're to keep as little water on it as possible for little amount of time right and you're going to keep it oiled up at all times so for me. I just i just learned like your skin is like leather. That's how you need to treat. It should never be dry. It should never be in the sun it should never be Without some kind of moisture on top of it right so i have in every part of my house some oil. At all times. I wake up the middle of the night when ip night. I've oil there. And i re- oil in the middle of the night like it's a tick it's psychotic fine turkomen crazy. Love that I am to it constantly. it's in my I have rollers droppers in my closet. I have. I just have them everywhere. All the time sunscreen on the hands all the time in the car at stop lights. Were stunned screening. I wear gloves in the car. Sometimes when i drive So much of the sun exposure we get in the car on our hands and this side of our face when we try which is why we have more crows feet here And it's like a system you just have to make a habit you know it's like you know we. All have addiction is to get healthy addictions make them healthy addiction so instead of hitting the ball four times a day oil around your is four times a day. You know you also have to not give a. It's also tricky because right now. We're kobe and touching her face weird and you know and but what you've got your parole you've got your advertisement parallel hands. You should be oiling. Your face it is never not shiny care. If people think i'm look shiny weird people always sought got a ton hunk of plastic surgery. I'll tell you everything i've done in a minute. I have done thera I did cool laser. I do filler on this side of my nose. I did botox here when i was twenty. Five because i was told to buy network it just me. I actually think at this point. Wrinkles are fine of youth. Yeah so if you need to do a little bit here are like here. I like to have these. You know like. I like these And i like these but if you do here sometimes it fucks up. It's like oh. I'm not anti work am not wireless y you want your It's expensive but if you want to get in shape you go to the gym. What what's the different. What's the difference surveys like. Why just shame anybody for whatever they need to do. As long as it's for them your hopefully you're not acting in place of dismore fiat like. I don't think you should decide what happens But i'd have dental. Faira talked about that with libya mon on the podcast and then with allison brie we talked about bo talks like ding ding ding cure. Which i did like three years ago. And then kinda fades. And then i kinda like it is i. I like these lines right here at like these lines. But i also have a lot of really. I remember when i was in the show on the show. Whitney critically acclaimed That in the room. Because i was always so conscious that my mom worked at neiman. Marcus npr so she would get samples. And we love perry. And we had charles of the ritz and we handle income. And we all the creams and it was all about creams. Like those were my toys as kids. I didn't have toys green creams province products products. And when she went to bat. I would like put them on and put it on my lips and it was obsessed and I'm saying that because it is beautiful. And i can't stop staring at your unbelievable skin. I mean i'm in the light. I know how to let myself. But what was i just saying. Oh alison brie products on. When you're on the show whitney resolution with me. Oh yeah your show. Any i always said. Don't make me laugh. 'cause i don't wanna get lifelines all it's sad and then i realize it's not. It's not sad. I've been conscious on for a long time. I never smoked. Because i didn't want to get these. I never drank from straw. Which i do now glass job because they don't wanna go through slip all. I was very conscious of this young age. Because i had a mom that was conscious of that because the generation before us they're they're beauty was their currency you know and So but then. I realized that the craziest thing you can do. In a writer's room of comics is say. Don't make me laugh like don't do your job and then going on. I'm sorry that was crazy. So i didn't like it wasn't a rule for a long period of time but dan lee can attest when because i had the funniest writers in the world and that i would just go look i would love. Oh my guy but it's like it is true you know also when i apply my products always up. We never go down. We never go down. People put on their scream. Like this and i'm like it drives me nuts. When people in their makeup and circles you're dragging your skin down redoing up up only only blush only up cream only up oil only up only up only up. I'm taking notes right now when you listen back to this and then when you sleep most people product on the face. They don't sleep and they put their face on a pillow and then all their product himself on their pillow. This was my next question. I i still like you'll know about sleep case only i sleep with I don't have the ivory phones or some kind of headphones. So that you're sleeping up in your product is not being wiped off. I sleep like a fucking Course i said this about you on this podcast like three times. Now i like whitney cummings famously. Sleeps with headphones. So her product doesn't round up to p. There's an oil by the toilet paper and i'm being. I'm putting 'em re-applying three in the morning. Can i ask a personal question. What is what's your skin type early. Believe in that because a lot of its genetic. I was also on accutane twice. So i'm there's i think that we love that like my skin. Type is kind of false sense of control right. Your skin type is very much how you treat it. It's like saying like oh that breed of dog attacks people on it's like well nature and nurture and try you know what i mean like all that like i have good. That's that's been pathologist. Ice skin's oily. Because i make it oily but also it took me a long time to learn this in a lot of really smart dermatologists to explain to me is like we associate the same way. We associate fat with being fat by eat. Fattening foods. i'm gonna get fat. that's not true. For fifteen years. I was eating fat free snack wells which was just like all cooke's like like all sugar like avocados. Don't make you fat units the sugar or whatever. So all doesn't make you oily so i had such bad acne as a teenager cystic. Acne statistics stick and sealer salicylic acid squeeze and just like the sky cycle is so vicious. Been there from all of it all and then knife pretending. I was sick to not go to school. That taking on accutane the flaking off. I mean it was just like you know when people say the skin care like superficial and then like what. California unlike elitist. It's like your. This is the first thing you say to. Someone uses your self esteem. This is your presenting your teeth in your face. I'm sorry human nature is sexist and superficial and went to tell you if i have zipped here even if you can't see it it's all fucking thinking about its we are wired that way and also we are wired to be obsessed with it because you know in tribal time that was infection were wired to get the infection ejected out of our bodies so when i see is at another person i'm like oh god i gotta get it to begin to get it again and they just needed So that is We actually made a movie about this. About how the picking we actually wired to get serotonin from it mentioned race here. That king of skin care. I know we need to get benton automatically. Shout to your movie. The female brain which is so good and excellent. People are watching it. Now i'm like. Oh god should now. It's getting big and sorry. The thing is with the oil is putting oil on. Your skin does not make your skin if you have oily skin. It doesn't mean you can't put oil on your skin. A lot of people wanna do these like oil free foundations which is just going to actually A trains your All what are they call. Not ducks glare glands. Actually they produce less oil so i stopped getting acne. The more i do acting twice. So if there's any doctors are dermatologists scientists watching the show feel free to Debunk me Which is that. After that i oiled my face constantly in it stopped producing so much oil. Didn't have to. It's a huge thing when you have acne to you. Don't wanna moisturizer that you wanna keep you think that you want your skin to be dry as possible. but that's like very important for people with acne moisture. Is it makes your acne so much better when you use the right moisturizer deem oil patients cord topical cortisone prescription cortisone cream. It's two percent when i'm like it's something like it's your wedding day or fucking engagement party or whatever there's also cortisone shots which i recommend if it's your wedding day or your big presentation or a statistic thing that's going to distract you but over time cortisone is actually not good for you and if someone does it wrong you can actually get an invitation which has happened many times saying so. Do it like when you have to do it. Really early. In the pimple life cycle. If you do it too late you get the scar. I'd like a really deep when coming up right here and it's just like i'm just gonna let it do its thing it's not noticeable in. Yeah of course. Yeah where do we stand on. Are you in the zits sticker pimple patch universe known alison breaches told me. She swears by those i. Don't this is fucked up also on birth control. I don't really get. I mean the masks. Like i thought i was getting Acne from the mass. I don't really breakout anymore. i do. I don't have my period. Because his birth control. But i started getting it hormone leo my chin and since we're now zooming and stuff no one can see anything and you have a mask cover it like. I think that we're just in this like for the next six months. We kind of have a pass like reset your. I'm just trying to like not wear makeup all day. I'm trying to like. I'll do like for zuma this. I'll do like lip. Liner blushed. I but nothing on my skin. Skin except sunscreen or tinted sunscreen. Shin question. i'm getting. I'm like okay. I wanna be anti ag a little bit and get serious about it. Where do you stand on retinol. You know. I mean. Benson swears by personally. Because i've put my skin through so much trauma with tanning beds. It's going to be specific to everybody. Everybody's skin is different. It's like saying where do you stand on red wine. It's like some people gotta hang over. Some people have had eggs. Some people won't some people get addicted. Some people don't it's just like there's no you can't throw a blanket statement about what works for to be clear. If whitney cummings says she likes red wine i will start drinking it. So let's just also live in. That reality had a fair. Share that in utero. I have done so much damage to my skin. whether it's like eating disorders dehydrating myself sun damage. I did tanning beds. I mean i used to do like twice a day. Tanning beds skin poisoning. I like when i came out. to ucla and a summer theater program parameters like seventeen. I had Voyles on a hands from. Because i would drive every day Going home from school in washington. Dc and at every day at four o'clock that some would hit my hands. I just didn't know. I was like screaming like joan osborne song and lauryn hill and i didn't know one told us like we used to put on Go out in the sun maybe oil. Yeah in tin foil like we like that was so i of if you're twenty two and you're listening to this. It's different than if you have a you know if you're grew up in phoenix. And you never use sunscreen like i. Don't you know right now. I think there's a lot of different iterations of it. I think there's a lot of different potencies and what loses phones. My whole thing with vitamin c is like if it's soon as you open. It's the activated. Like i just. I think a lot of this. I keep my sinker hair in the fridge But i think a lot of it is bake And i do not do retinal just as a personal preference. Because i just don't i do the mitts so i can show them to you. I do the Scrubbed meddling in the foliage eating. And then i do dermot rolling with the tiny needles every other day and then so that your skin connect you can actually absorb it because there's so many skin cells that's what works for me and then i put my product on so if retinal works for you great. I just can't recommend one. I don't know how to use it now. I've seen you use those mitts. Literally seen you like in the bathtub. Put them on. Yup are those. You're doing those on your face as well. I'll do just like a my face and lips not around my eyes ever ever ever. Okay lymphatic drainage. I do it all over my body and it's kind of as needed They're super cheap. Right adult dollar unit like fifty of them all due up always like around the lips you know like and people also forget like what germany role so little dermot roller here. Which is like everyone's gotta be. You gotta clean it. You gotta make sure. I'd be the alcohol on it every couple of weeks or like. Get a new one or like four dollars. He's a sell out. And i'm looking at the Also go over your eyebrow always people forget your eyebrows skin and then over your lips always and people forget to put sunscreen on their lips. True i gotta know. Got up so many questions i know and i'm like looking at all my shit. Show us what sunscreen. What's your go-to sunscreen. Everything it's a i. I do feel like knowing whitney. She uses everything. I use everything. Everything that i alternate. Because it's like your skin gets used to something and there's like something smell something and you go through a bad breakup and every time you smell it. It's gonna remind you about persons you need to change. Like i love the moroccan oil smell. And then i had a tragedy and i was in every time i smell. It takes him back there. So then i can alternate And then you know I like to experiment and try. New stuff and smell is really important to me. I'm super emotional. So i looked play around right now. Whitney are you know you don't have an actual skin-care fridge in your bathroom. Have saved gear in your downstairs. Fridge are you. Are you considering getting a skincare fridge. Hard hitting journalism right now if fridge fridge. I just like if it's re hundred dollars just because it's pain. I'm not going to get it. I'll just get a fridge. That has a clear thing you know. I hung my fridge and then like my cream. Oh my god. I don't even that rand no. There's no way to keep up with her and her galaxy brain rob. Oh yeah backups. I'm it's a hoarder but itself care and it's like it's just something you have to you know it's like people i know they're like time for my skin. And what will you just put nine powder on your baby and you got your car washed and you just got three new pairs of shoes and you just your dry cleaning. We just we chronically as women ourselves last. Select by my bad. I'll have a bomb. You know it's so in the middle of the night. I can literally just like breach over the the. Are you rubbing my on your body to do it under my body. Yeah i started to get like more serious about my body. Like i do the spray. Like at all do astringent on my body now. Why wait way wait. What do you mean. You're exterior stringent vetting by vagina. Which part of it. I the lips part. I look that we're not women are not told a moisturizer regina and i think it's a huge huge missed opportunity. Traveled gives us really train. Not touch it in general so and then you go to my closet. This is. I'm staying at a different alternate between the closet and i've just got like a pump oil though say love that jazz. I'm looking for close. I'm living up my legs as i'm changing as unthinking you know so it's like it just having one available at all times to just keep blue hands hand lotion. Like i'm just constantly. he's lewd follow. Yeah in is. I look i do have a of of ocd. Everyone knows that so that helps. But it's it's comforting to me. The smells are comforting to me. My mom growing up Every night before bed or she walk around the house there was always vicks vapor. Rub around the house and she would put it right under her nose all the time and she was always like putting on cream sets like i get an ice. I saw a lot. You know but you just have to train yourself to make it a habit and and become addicted to it you know. It takes twenty eight days to make a new neural pathway. So just do it for twenty eight days and then it'll be habit. Have any pack. Have your lip balm your sunscreen. Your eye cream roller oil. Totta harper roller. Whatever the fuck it as saying like your own and by the way grapeseed oil. This is like that's my main thing rapeseed oil from i do like whole foods and amazon or whatever Face at face and body grapeseed oil grapeseed oil grapeseed oil tomato seed oil to never never heard of such a thing unbelievable. Well oh and then I we are working on an oil. That's gonna come out that s. There has been very helpful. And where. I'm going to put all the oils that i use in one place because i feel bad. Same tomato seed oil and grapeseed will evans. Like what brand is just like stresses people out. I don't want to cause people stress stress is actually most ageing so the last the biggest part of your beauty routine is break up with the toxic guy. Get out ship with toxic friend. That's fucking jealous of you and causes anxiety Stop resenting gossiping that co-worker like the releasing cortisol deteriorates are collagen. Basically at ages us. So forget your products. What's going on the other twenty three and a half hours a day in new relationships. Godown alanon. I'm not gonna say go to therapy. Most people don't have the time or the money alanon is free a is free codependence. Anonymous is free gets when you are wrinkle your forehead because you're mad at your coworker who keeps fucking writing passive aggressive emails like you lose. You're hurting yourself. I'm also big bodyshop bitch by the way. Wow since we're big fan. It's just. I'm i'm a loyal bitch. We talk in the body to call warriors owners love we just to the people listening like i didn't know we were allowed to talk about wendy's upcoming face oil. I'm so excited. I thought that was exclusive information. I don't really was. I am really excited. Esters esters told me. I am thrilled as it's huge. I right now have only the benefit one the body shop in my purse but a lip stain lips. I'm a stain bitch. A lip stain and then sunscreen lip balm the rest of the day. I with me. This is kinda my main thing. I'd under kobe. I have my sinuses draining. I sound better yet. We are you taking tak taking tech. Every morning i've put this antibacterial. Shit my nose wait. Why am i need when i go right. Now the aaron. La's so shitty. When i go to the construction zone is my house. Or if i'm like to go on a plane or something like an antibacterial it's called mu pre who names. These things isn't a description. Yes and i'm not recommending an another doctor where you are my doctor. Great neutrogena revising with sunscreen. Spf twenty. and. I bought all of them finding them when i bend over that i can't really. That's what happens. When i might face down but guys are making me feel better because i have that problem too and i thought it was sick as lip balm that is kind of got a sheer color to it like. It's kind of a year. And then i'll do this all day. Oh yes sunscreen. In it and the stain on your body shop owned that was. That's been a tent. you're holding right. Yes but i prefer the body shop one at as do not let me animals never have. We're the first now whitney as a longtime fan girl yours. I do wanna reference your old blog. The princess complex wa. She does think she scared is gonna sunscreen. It just keeps it. Your hands kind of went told badger and i'm obsessed with. Honey badgers so. I like the packaging is important. It's emotional four love. Admitting to that yeah to the license of yours notice became cream which is just good to have. It's it numbs. Like i have a making at my ingrown. So i have lighter king cream to just because we have such a combative relationship with our skinner bodies. So i just try to hurt. It is possible okay. Let's talk about my blog. Okay so on your blog years ago. I don't think so. I find data i own a i own the rights to it. I love it right. Optioning sumi You had mentioned that you. I remember back in the day. You are obsessed with will lead us skin food and like bought all of them. Yes on the problem is now. I found out that it has land linen. Oh a lot of people are converging to land. And it's from sheep's skin. And i don't want to call them out trash them and maybe they've changed her formula but i really just think it's an unnecessary The same with There was another thing i love. That was land. I just i look at the ingredients. And i just don't put sheep's poss- on my face. Yeah fair enough for many of us. The holidays are going to look quite different. This year. You know why we're in a damn pandemic but that's why this year there's a very meaningful gift option that you may not know about and it's called story worth story. Worth is an online service. That helps your loved ones share stories through thought provoking questions about their memories and personal thoughts. It's a fun new way to engage with your family especially those. You can't see in person every week story worth emails your family. Your family members. Different story prompts questions. You'd never thought to ask like what's a small decision you may that ended up having a big impact on your life or if you could see into the future what would you want to find out reading. The weekly stories is fun and makes your family feel close. Even if you're not together after one year story were worth will compile all your stories including photos into a beautiful keepsake book that shipped for free. Give your loved ones the gift of spending time together. Wherever you live with story worth get started right away with no shipping required by going to story worth dot com slash glow up. You'll get ten dollars off your first purchase. That story worth dot com slash glow up for ten dollars off. Hey gloomy is As you guys remember a few weeks ago we discovered everley well. The company that makes at home lab testing easy. Well i got my results for indoor outdoor allergies and actually very not allergic to things which is kind of crazy but it's so empowering to now know that every well next thing i want to do the food sensitivity test but it's super easy. You know you just prick your finger and you send the labs way it. They are very fast about it. It was such a good experience and a highly recommend going to their site checking out all the different tests. They have they offer every well offers over thirty at home lab tests like food sensitivity like. That's what i'm gonna do thyroid. Health b vitamins s. Td caroline needs to do that one heart health. Indoor and outdoor allergies metabolism women's health and testosterone tests and more each everley. Well test comes a super easy to follow instructions and every test is physician reviewed and the shipping is free your results reviewed by a board certified physician and they are sent directly to digitally within days. You can even share them with your healthcare provider your result personalized. They're super easy to understand which is good. Because sometimes i get lab results from my doctor's office. Don't know what i'm looking at but these were very easy digestible to start understanding your health like i did check out every well two day all you have to do for twenty percent off and everley well at home lab test visit everley well dot com slash glowing up and enter code glowing up. That's everley well dot com slash going up code glowing up for twenty percent off your test ever really well at home lab tests your answers your way. Okay as we just took a quick break. We're back whitney cummings this year by the fire. Grossed me I want to talk a little bit about eating because on the show. Talk about all things beauty. Food exercise whatever I know you have a past of disordered. Eating as do is do many of our listeners. And i just kinda wanna get some inspiration from you in like just fun all positive like what are you into eating like what do you have any like Belief systems about eating. Like what can i. How can i copied it all. Can you make this question. I just got hungry. Because i've been listening to this question for know i. Yeah thank you. And i know. This is a sensitive topic and it's a triggering topic. So i'm not gonna make light of it and be dismissive. I am not saying this. Because i'm trying to sell things. I'm good but I did write a whole chapter about it in my book. I talked about my last. I just want you guys to know. I'm very open about it. That is how we dissolve shame. Which is the engine of many of our addictions is Secrecy were only as sick as the secrets. We keep so. I just did a podcast with nikki. Glaser and we got really into the eating stuff. It's different for everyone. We think we're the only people that understand. We think that that were the own. Excuse me speaking speaking of wrinkles new rescue now. This is a former rescue. that is fat. Sa- beautiful beautiful dog right now. We're working on the perfect home from wrinkle dragon The only getting wrinkles is a sharp. Go up so yes. I i you know might disordered eating. There's so much ancestral trauma. I grew up with Primary caretakers having disordered eating notably anorexia and wine. Only wine diet coke coffee. That's what i saw women drink There was a lot of control around food for addiction for alcoholism new present. Alcohol doesn't have to be present so alcoholism can present itself in being addicted to cooking gambling doubting sex controlling organizing crafting calling obsessing worrying adrenaline. Like we have all kinds of addictions right so there is a lot of cooking like to control you and you have to eat everything on your plate and if you you i will get a glass of milk and yet a finnish. The milk initiate. You can't leave the table to finish the milk. There was a lot of that shit growing up and there was a lot of like her tending to eat something and spitting into a napkin so that it didn't like i told the story on howard stern where i was sitting next Kill bill quentin tarantino and you know how why they call it. Cunning baffling disease of addiction eating disorders. You think you're getting away. You think nobody knows you think no one has any idea and we were at dinner and of all things of all the things. It might make me cry that it was octopus. We were at a sushi restaurant with a one harvey weinstein and one quentin tarantino. And all the people from a tarantino roast was like thurman kathy griffin whoever whoever whoever and he was like try this and it was an octopus lag. And this before i understood that octa says it's not occupied rain paper in high school that they feel they're all their feelings are in their arms and a half gold blood only live for for years and they have like eight hearts. It's just eating. Octopus is just kills me. Anyway i didn't know any of the time i was like that looks fattening. Because it's shining has oil on it. And i put it in my mouth and then try to spit it out because i had like a. I could choose something. Spit out. new napkin and quentin tarantino's like did you just hugh sneezed like the amount of lying that was in my eating disorder that you think you're getting away with it. You know it's like. I wanna be skeletal Skinny and i don't want you to notice. But i do want the tension. It's it's it's a real mind. Fuck it's a labyrinth it's a labyrinth of hallucinations. A hall of mirrors and there was a lot of binging and purging. There was a lot of. I didn't have a lot of friends in high school i would. I didn't go to lunch. Time at my car. In e Dried fruit only reasons. Only sabato hush my my athletic career ambitions as a basketball player. Has i would only raisins at so many cavities. Because i would only dried fruit like two years only like dr goes and like swiss miss packets with that. I would put in the fridge in big so we all have our thing. Only smucker's jelly out of the jar. There is a lot of like alestra potato chips. This is your your listeners and viewers are probably younger than me so there's probably other the sugar free candies. The sugar free twizzlers making myself sick. The binging and a lot of it was from sexual abuse child's and the need to isolate is a big part of might disordered eating was. I'm gonna make myself so sick that no one will wanna have sex with me. No one will touch me. I'm gonna stay home. It's an antisocial thing for me And it's a way to check out. So i'm going to eat food. Four boxes cereal. That are feel shame. Then we're to jim for four hours in run on the treadmill And then can't soul on my friends for dinner. Because i feel sick then meet nine protein bars and then hate myself and be in a fetal position. It was. It was like i was conscious. It's so hard. Yeah and when. I see people doing it. It's just there's you have to stay in your lane because the more you it's about control the more you try to control someone's eating disorder. The more they will recoil into their disease. I mean i remember. I put this my book where When i would serve fifteen two wild things happen. I was so skinny. Fifteen picture do put in post like picture stuff. I can show that picture of me with my sure Collar bones that New if it makes news maybe it was. I was so skeletal. I remember running up wisconsin avenue in washington. Dc like you know we all those moments that were just like that is imprinted in your hip canvas. So deeply in this guy is went. Eat something like wasn't a it wasn't a cat call. Eat something. And i was like like i had olive oil nickname and like it was sort of Bys couldn't touch. The whole thing had to sleep with a pillow between my knees. You know the whole thing. And god. I wanna hug that girl so much so hard. How did how did you overcome bat like. How did you get better You know it was a number of things I'm a broken record about how hard i'm in a twelve step program of anon Codependence anonymous I'd never really went to away like eating disorder. My thing was the sheild so and and childhood sexual abuse. You know women. We all have a complicated relationship food whether you're breastfed or not breastfed or how much i contact you got while you were being breastfed. I mean it's just everyone's got their own constellation of what works for them and my services are better rest. Look your mother. Jeez my doctor and your doctor. I know i'm so grateful. I don't give advice. My advice is figure out like connect your source. Read the gift. Fear listen to your body figure out worse for you. Yes scientists on your own body and people like take vitamin d. It's like okay. Well what what it does okay. We'll half the vitamin d supplements have read number five in them in the. You're eating plastic. And then the vitamin so. I have to eat plastic. Doesn't it kinda cancel it out like you just have to like constant like radically go inward radically trust. Your gut sounds cunanan. Jfk junior is alive alive and landing was shot by hubert. But you know so it's Where was i on the emailing. And i did the Adult children alcoholics the exercise of connecting to your inner child. was huge for me. Where you It's the aca big buckets. A big maroon book Take what you like and leave the rest. Not all of it is going to Apply to you and your if your defensive keep reading if it doesn't apply to you just get bet The laundry lists traits in the codependent workbook Twelve step workbook That fourth staple getcha the blueprint for progress. Fourth step will get ya Take likely the rest. I didn't some took me two years. Some took me two days. We'll go at our own pace And the writing the letters to my inner child you write to her with your dominant hand and she responds in your non dominant hand And running you say like what do you want to eat today. And in a better great. Let's wow it's it's incredibly powerful you'll cry your head off if it's the right time the right place and you save it in you. I have a picture of my inner child on my phone at all times. And i talked to her and i eat for her so how way that we feed ourselves. We would never feed children that way if you had a child or did you feed your child ray utterly kindness then bar a think thin bar a manager joke. That's funny because i had a think thin year. Wait yes same. What flavor do you remember. They their very peanut. They changed the name of their company. Who think thin is now called like think slimfast not into that. Boiler whitney do. I am curious because now that you have a healthy relationship with food now that you've really worked hard for like just circling back to beauty. Do ever subscribe to like eating for beauty. Do you ever like eat avocado. Because you know it'll be good for your scanner or anything like that. Yeah for sure. Fat that that Fat fat so we hate fat. We have an adversarial relationship with that. We think that fat means you're fat Which is wild girl good. For your skin. Labor discord cortisol levels increase. Serotonin eating yes. So i am very conscious of look. Look it's like i'm not a dot. I can't get into that slippery slope of diet every day's a new day and i'm going to the worst thing you can do for your skin in your body and your mind stress out over whether or not you should eat something or not so. The quarter saw all that is released from your brain from the should. I eat this. I can't drugger is like it's bad for me. That's worse for you. So i enjoy have hot chocolate with marshmallow and not think about it. I mean it's been. I mean it's a twenty. It's been a twenty year thing guys and also i realized that dinner you are the older you look one hundred percent and eddie kind of cancer anorexia and my work hall ism also challenged my anorexia because i was like my brain is not highly functioning because are sugar-free schedules. So i can get as much work done. So i started to sort of a eclipse that and then i did something that for me worked and this is gonna get cancelled which is like mine. I i talked about this in my More elegantly eloquently and hilariously Fischel because of the damage to my body from eating disorders disordered eating. So i my special talked about how i my boobs and really grow in because i Had starved myself and they were asymmetrical As much that's normal but mine were like particularly What was the joke was like one was alec baldwin. Moma stephen baldwin. Wanted to alec to siemens i don't remember the joke. It was like a salvador dali painting oaks. I thought it was too elitist. Or something. And so i did get corrective on my bibs because i wanted my boobs because of some Childhood sexual trauma from a woman and such like boobs. Like i just thought if i buy if my boobs were bigger i could be bigger. My whole body could be bigger like i had almost be symmetrical. We do have a driving. Need for things to roost magical It is a reptilian brain thing plus the trauma. I guess if i can say anything it's just like get to know your ancestry. Ask questions Vogues fault it's not anyone's fault like just it's it's our ancestors. Got it honestly. Food is incredibly complicated and codependent glow. Today i'm going to tell you about something called first leaf. I leaf makes any day. Feel like a friday. I leave is a wine club that sends personalized selections of wine from top vineyards vineyards around the world directly to you because the only thing better than one fantastic bottle of wine is a case of award-winning wine. That shows a bigger doorstep. You guys i. Am you know. I'm not a wine drinker. I'm sober my fiance's a wine lover. My childhood best friend is a wine lover. I have so many wine lovers in my life every bottle. At first his handpicked by experts were your exact preferences and palate in mind for unique combination of wine. You're guaranteed to love. Unlike other wine clubs firstly uses an algorithm and your feedback to curate future wind recommendations subscriptions are flexible and shipments arrived on your schedule with practically zero effort. Plus i sleep is a much more affordable way to get to enjoy wine from top winemakers vineyards. You'll always get award winning wine for an unbeatable low price. I'm as i'm like thinking about this. I'm totally gifting. This to one of my best friends who's addicted to wine. That makes it sound bad but like he loves wine so much. It makes him so happy that this is such a good gift for the wine lovers in your life you guys. What are we waiting for. Get that friday feeling lake. We all love any day with. I leaf join today and you'll get six bottles of wine for twenty nine hundred five that he's that a good price juice go to try firstly dot com slash glowing up. That's six bottles of wine for twenty nine ninety five at try i leaf dot com slash. Glowing up is there something interfering with your happiness or preventing you from achieving your goals. Better help we'll assess your needs and match you with your own licensed professional therapist now. I know i'm someone that definitely has mental health struggles just like the the next guy I have really bad anxiety. And i learned that this year in fortunately was able to connect with the right people and start the treatment that i needed for that better. Help will assess your needs are told you that you can start communicating and under forty eight hours. It's not a crisis line. it's not self help. Is professional counseling done. Securely online and there's a broad range of expertise available which may not be locally available in many areas you know. I always hear that and think about the times in my life where i've needed a eating. I'm sorry a therapist who specializes in eating disorders or therapist for right now. I need one. That specializes anxiety. So you have so much access to that. The services available for clients worldwide. And you can log into your account anytime and send a message. cheer counselor. You'll get thailand thoughtful responses plus. You can schedule weekly video or phone sessions so you won't ever have to sit in uncomfortable waiting room as with traditional therapy better help is committed to facilitating great therapeutic matches so they make it easy and free to change counselors if needed. It's more affordable than traditional off. Line counseling and financial aid is available. Better help wants you to start. Living a happy life today visit their website and read their testimonials that are posted daily visit. Better help dot com slash glowing up. That's better h lp and join over. One million. People have taken charge of their mental health with the help of an experienced professional in fact so many people have been using better help that they're recruiting additional counselors in all fifty states. That's a special offer for glowing up listeners. They get ten percent off their first month at better help dot com slash glowing up whitney before we lose you soon. I wanna get 'cause it's around the holiday times and i gotta ask you about this. Because last year. I had a really terrible christmas and i saw you right after and you really helped me so much and i would just love to hear you talk about like the pressure of the holidays because it's just holidays made me so depressed. I have such a bad time. No matter what i do i would just love to hear some advice on that if you could radical forgiveness and patience mine mine is is is all relatives like your mom knows what buttons to press. Because she installed them she knows where they are. Everyone is In their chronic perfectionism and they're given their unhealthy giving Receiving and giving is very complicated in fraught right. I gave you a gift last year. Gave me the gift i gave you last year. The re gifting and the uniform new at what are your opening. I'm opening one by by. We open the same time in the league i had there was a my mom would hover with the garbage bag. The wrapping never hit the floor. Garbage i mean it was like you're cleaning up as you're going. It's christmas morning. you're not off. You're not awake. You're not wearing the red sox. You your christmas better insuring. Gummy checking your phone. I mean it's just like there's so much just radical forgiveness. I sound like such a fucking cliche. Like and it's I would look into your ancestral trauma in what you're knowing what your ancestors were up against and knowing what your parents were up against and not judging your parents based on today's standards don't just do something sit there when in doubt say nothing smile. Fake it till you make it. That's not being inauthentic. I think the younger generation darling. I have to say everything. I feel at all times but feelings aren't facts and you're allowed to just be okay. You're allowed to let feelings pass like a butterfly. It's just gonna fly go by coop. You hurt my feelings by buy the fact that later. That's old that's old. That's really struggling. That's old it's your fault your fault your fault i forgive you i forgive you just right. I have this tattoo whites. You can't see it. Just says i love you because of this movie meditation like just like in your head just like i love you. I love you. I love you i forgive you. Just be the imagine when you go home for your holiday that you're in a movie about the holidays you're in parenthood. You're in happiest season. Dan le vian allison brie and ulta beauty. And just pretend you're in a movie and just be the person the movie that fucking act positive contribution to your future like b b star wars. Have a fucking thing dum dum. Ooh insult insult passive aggressive. Ooh oh you're jealous make all but forgive you love you love you like just it's like protect yourself. We drink poison and expect other people to die. That is not working for ya. Who gives a shit if you've got someone candle at sixty dollars and they give you a bath. Bomb regained last year. Who's a who's a fuck of jenny didn't eat the pie you made. She is problem. She's insecure about her body nicked. Yeah we do this advice. This is advice is applying to a lot in my life of like when someone rows you up and like how do you react and you just kind of went in has the best We talked around christmas in a little bit in the kazzee david episode or kaley cuoco episode lot the flight attendant watch it By get no money from that. So good i can't lay. I hear anything you're cast like as soon as you go home to your family of origin you like time travel into the your fourteen year old self and because but let but like don't let them cast you as that person like. When i see my brother. I love more than anything in the world. He's like you know. Were i'm fourteen and he's twenty one and i'm like hey can i get some business advice. And he's like why use eating like it just turns i remember kevin christie Brilliant artists comedian Was with me in. London wants that. I saw my brother and he was like. I've never seen anyone talk to you like that. I've never seen you like. I totally time traveled back to being fourteen. Hours a kevin. Oh you know. We just go right pattern recognition. Just try to be aware of the pattern. Your home you're back in your child at home in your child things in your childhood dog barks and the the smells the perfume of your mom. Okay oh factually glance firing got it got it. I'm time traveled the candle. She's looking at some of the outline cinnamon off that charlie girl perfume and the now i'm back and twelve aware of all your senses and what is activating and how it's influencing you just go. I don't have to go. The i get to make a choice right edge. Turn it over to make a choice right now to not be ten like to me right now to not be six. I'll have to be mad at you. Mom everyone's mom imagine being a woman in the fucking sixties seventies eighties. Fuck out of here. Forgive them all they nailed it. They did the best they could with the tools they had. We should pay them and worship on. Forgive all moms forgive hashtag forgive all mom definitely. They don't imagine the mansion anyone wanting to be a bad parent. No one wants to be a bad parent wakes up at like to fuck up my kid today. They're the best they can. It's fucking you up so it's hard to have kids. It's so hard. I feel like i'm learning so much today. Most importantly i've learned to hashtag stay wet. Always i know the speyrer. The but i'm like already feeling like i'm starting to ono reach for your reach for the nearest surface. There's an open jar somewhere. Oh this is a duplicate of ajar in the bedroom of the lube there it is face lube loop up at albany. This fireside chat literally Was there so enlightened. People are so mean to their hands. Also the biggest piece of advice when you wipe your pussy front to back. Sure will there's that but if you're peeing or have told the paper here because of a sinus infection is that you don't wipe you dab dabhol. Y was you're pulling the collagen if you're the skin six. This explains everything i explained again. Make a square. We davin hold. Release whitney why feel like you use a day. Am i way off. I don't i could suffered some rich ship. Yeah no i. i grew up poor though. I'm like west. Virginia i will. I know you grew up poor. Because you don't have kleenex. You just use toilet paper out. No i've never never clinics toilet paper horrify. Amazing so weird. When you say kleenex. I was like b by the nair. She nares only do like paper towels toilet paper. It's like it's all. I hate that. I hate everything pat though but she passed or to rub printer paper but then a doodoo brown. It's like a little scoop. Whitney not a white overdose mini scoop. I'm i don't know why i've now become obsessed with the idea of you using a day. I think it would never never in is bad. Oh right water okay. I take it back. I forgot fucking full of oil. A dave face away are we showing showering or taking baths ou. Don't give esther another reason to nobody in oil before i get in the shower bath. Wash water enemy lauder ages. You what happens to would piece of what piece of leather water. Water water is the enemy. Why i don't wash my. I wash my face with oil and up it. I'm telling you that this is what my mom she's always lecturing about taking bads a she looks under the bath- when i watched the him it's telling him watching from those baths it's like it gives me like with no nothing in it makes me so like bitch get the grapeseed oil so the bat has trump oral on your body before you go in for. You're gonna pool cover my body with loyal chlorine on your skin. Are you insane own. In our you loco died your guru you're literally skin guru. This is insane now. You're radicalizing me right now. There's a there's something very exciting the message. It's like stay wet but also stay away from water is very funny is lou schulman and gentle. Use our fingers and were gentle. Let's see the way people treat their face when they put makeup on his name. Yeah the polling is bad debt. The eyelid four little eyelid number. The city love. I could watch you do this all day. Round never gets any love which is great for an eyebrow We'll hairspray jennifer love. Hewitt taught me us will hairspray on the finger. I'm here for that. Wow whitney thank you so much for teaching us how to live our lives. I am so grateful and also your book that you referenced is amazing. Everyone in my family has read it. Including my fiance's. I wish i could like i don't have time but i like i've so many updates on it really queasy that next time you bells are very important emotionally music. I wish i can't wait for the listeners. To see you each time think that your skin is had enough moisture. I down and it's like another half cup goes on to grab something moisture moisture moisturizer isn't so that you it can't absorb right right. You're this is good. This is really. What do you do with your hands. What does that so when people do this up. Only a only my face skin is so saggy like i've already done the damage. I yeah. Do you ever do korean facial massage on youtube. There's a lot of good videos. Oh no known to no one touches my case you do it naturally. You're already you just do that. You know so always up always always up off your hands before you wash face. Wash your hands before you apply your shit. I never do that. It's such a bad habit here on your disgusting disgusting i am. I've chose i. Just don't i don't understand why anyone pays for that. Do you ever you like you. Like all sarah. Yeah took a laser all look once a year. I don't. I'm not a doctor but maybe it's working when i say you have the best skin i've ever seen in my life i am. I really mean that we know work goes into like now i know now. I know how you've got beautiful skin princess. It's it's inspiring rings. Scratch your face owners of lot of ship thinking about. And then when you do. I go whole fingers and steered man's at the first sign. No no we'll whitney thank you for you. Please love back every week. You are a hero. A- goddess there are no words. This is an honor. Thank you so much. Love you post in post imposed because this is actually what everyone me about. So i hope i can make this get more than two views. Thank you could think you wanna get up to seven view. You're delight airline so nice to meet you whitney. You're the best has been everything. Okay no exaggerating in twenty twenty one. That's my resolution. Got it copy. That i make good person and you are tastic. The best Elf member is the best coffee ever. They did it. It's it's laziness exaggeration. It's got to be more intentional with our choice caroline a great way to put it. It's lazy and it makes me stop trusting. I know it's a dirty habit. I you say you're the best and then you go to the bathroom like well. I thought it was now. I can't trust you fuck but you're coming from a good place from a good place but we could afford to be more mindful with addiction. Always it's everything This badge is into the Yeah precious with your words. Precious has gets about. Rob that word Meticulous with the words you use you can meticulous. You can't take them back and words need to mean what they mean. Not everything's genius and amazing and hilarious in perfect and is now in quite a ball like now. now. I this has been eye-opening though and i do mean that and i do still think what is the best. I am. sorry. I talk to you later. Esther when you text me a question you could. Google bye starving a podcast network.