Fix your Mind: Guest Erin Pheil
Welcome to life. Algae I James Miller your house and a licensed psychotherapist. I am looking forward to spending this time. You as we learned some pretty amazing life lessons. Let's get started. Thank you so much for taking time out of your busy schedule to listen to this. Show when you're done listening. I hope you take a minute right. A quick review on whichever radio podcast platform. You've heard this show. Your insights will help others to be inspired and encouraged. I have a fantastic show for you. Today I'll explain to you the importance every emotional national debrief. I'll be interviewing Aaron file. Who is a founder of the mind? Fix Group and specializes in helping entrepreneurs and high achievers just like you get out of their way in ten weeks or lasted guaranteed for more information about Aaron an her successful program please visit mind fix group DOT com. Thank you so much for listening till I follow. 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Once again go to James Miller life dot com forward slash audible to get started today. Importance of an emotional debrief life happens to all of us. It doesn't matter if you're considered a good person or quote bad person. Listen live is going to happen to us when that happens. What do you do in the past? You've heard me talk about the different stages of grief and today's episode. I wanted to combine the stages of grief with how to heal much more quickly and it becomes stronger than before. The situation happened real quickly. The stages of grief are originally. Denial denial anger bargaining or bartering depression and eventually acceptance now. They don't always go in that order. The anger bartering and depression Shen usually manifest multiple times before we eventually get to acceptance the whole point in that. Is this after an appropriate time of grieving while we are thinking about our future. What do you tell yourself if we come from? A place of this is my fault. I can't believe I did this. This always happens to me. What is wrong with me if we stop and listen to were actually thinking about the situation in our role in that situation we may find that? Were repeating the same types of thoughts. We've had every single time we feel type of grief. Reveal this type of pain. The reason why it's important to be aware of that is because every time you say something over earn over again that then becomes a next foundational thoughts four. Should something like this happen again. So let's say you go through a really bad break up. And in this break-up you're devastated and as you're going only through the grief you tell yourself if I had only done this or if I was prettier if I was smarter if I made more money whatever those thoughts may be that then becomes how you remember that break up so when you reflect on it your subconscious automatically says you weren't good enough weren't pretty enough. You weren't attractive if you didn't have enough money. That is essentially what your subconscious tells you so anytime you go into new relationship that now becomes the foundation for how you start that relationship so the emotional debriefers has this as you're going through the appropriate stages of grief speak what you're thinking aloud. Listen to what you're saying because as you start to hear that you'll hear a theme him or a common thread which loops together. Which explains how you truly view yourself and as you hear that now you want your health yourself to come in say wait and James had nothing to do with money? Had nothing to do with how you looked. This was not a healthy relationship or another way to say that as I've learned a lot about this relationship relationship yes I'm in pain but I know that there's someone else for me. I know my future is bright. I will get on the other side of this grief my point in saying that. Is You acknowledge how you're feeling but then we go to the second part of that. which is my future is how I want it to be and as you speak life into your future and self worth into your future as is that grief starts to pass you now have a new stronger foundation? Then you had before you experienced this grief so the next time you go into a relationship your foundation stronger you have self worth you have value are important and as you go and stronger into that relationship now. You are more empowered. You make healthier choices. You don't repeat those same looping thoughts of there's something wrong with me not good enough for it's my fault and not as what emotional debrief is your debriefing with yourself to make sure that your takeaways from this situation seven are healthy because if not unfortunately we will continually repeat those same thought in those same patterns over and over and over again every single time we experienced that certain emotion to it so important even today speak aloud. What you're thinking? Challenge those thoughts if they're not true. Look to your future because remember burt. Your future is bright and successful as you want it to be. I wanted to take just a quick moment to thank you. All who continually support and listen to James Miller life allergy. I haven't been so blessed and honored by your continual supports however. I want to make sure that you don't miss out anything. Exciting Eddie mets happening over here. So good or James Miller follow dot com or DOT TV and sign up for the free weekly recap. Each week I will send you an email. which has all the latest just radio episodes youtube episodes magazine articles and self help products specifically for you once again go to James Miller life dot com or a life algae DOT TV and and sign up for the free weekly recap? Aaron file a founder of the mind fix group and specializes in helping entrepreneurs entrepreneurs and high teacher's get out of the way in ten weeks or less guaranteed. Welcome to my show errand. It's so good to be here yes. I'm looking forward to this. We were trying to talk show earlier but we're going to do a fantastic job today now. You weren't always this mind fixed person. You actually have a story yourself. Tell us about yup absolutely no. I never could have planned this out in one hundred years. Try I ran a digital agency for sixteen years years we were. We did great we were we made millions for our clients. We were nationally ranked. We were award winning. Everything on the outside was was going splendidly. Our revenue went up and up and up every single year. Like outward signs of success and looked great About twelve or thirteen years into running the business though. I started to get the sense like I wanted to do something else but I had no idea what else I could possibly do. It was all I knew new and then one day I didn't have to wonder anymore. I couldn't wonder because what ended up happening is is I suddenly woke up and had chronic pain out of nowhere out of nowhere. I'm in my thirties. I'm just a high level athlete and I wake up and suddenly my my entire life is consisting of going to therapists and specialists. End this doctor and that doctor no go see the Baxter no go see the brain surgeon. Oh and it just escalated and I ended up just leaving. GROUNDHOG's Day almost two years where I would see two two to five day and nobody knew what was going on and to go from someone who was so successful and has helped all these other companies to go from literally wake up and you can barely move when you're in chronic pain. Why can't even imagine what that was like for you to all of a sudden have to stop everything especially being a high level athlete as well what what went through your mind right? In that moment at the moment I approached it the way I approached everything else like okay. It's a challenge. I'm going to get through it. I'm GonNa do it what it wasn't actually the pain. That was the hardest part. It was after the first month and then the third month and then the fifth month of all of the effort and all of the work in all of the doctors and all all of the time in all the money and I was getting no wearing that that is what actually hurt far more than the pain was the sense ends of powerlessness that I shouldn't do anything to change my situation that affects her affect your self esteem. At all. It wasn't that it affected my self esteem. It affected in my my mood like when you when you feel helpless I started fall into severe anxiety depression and rightly so. Yeah it was rough. I just felt like a helpless animal and I couldn't do anything to change my life so I started to go see see Therapists there was one day that changed everything when if therapists looked at me and said look. You're looking for more stuff and more tools and more people to tell you what to do. You're never going to change your situation unless you clear out your mental lens because the way you are looking at life the way you are approaching your challenges the way you are thinking about everything is keeping you prisoner and you have to change that. I which is probably different than what you've you've heard before because we're all wired or conditions to seek out professionals and obviously I'm one of those professionals but when it comes down to. It doesn't really matter how much I work with with a patient and our client if they're not doing the work themselves they're not internalizing if they're not using these tools if they're not taking ownership of that it really doesn't matter how many sessions they have. They're not going to find the successor looking for. It's so true it has to start within so many people look for the answers. And that's I told you have self help added. They're looking for another tool another technique. Another tactic and nothing will work. If you don't have the right kind of Lens then you don't have the right approach and you're not solid internally exactly and that was the transition for you that was the Ha Moment for you're like wait a minute. Some there's something with us that that was the Aha moment because I had kept looking for everything on the outside and this woman came along and said you know what I bet. If you changed what was going on up here she pointed to my Noggin. Everything around you your entire existence will change and I was fascinated by that so I asked her great. How do we do this? And she had some responsive it was going to take years and lots and lots of faith and I needed to increase my visits per week and I was like listen. Have this they just kidding. Literally was that kind of answer like we're going to need a triple your visit each month and Baba so you're golf I one thing stats and I figured out what I needed to do. So I set off to figure out. Look how can I change what I feel inside intellectually. I know that I'm intelligent in that I am capable in that. I'm not powerless but I don't feel that way out. Can I change what I feel and actually actually deeply believe it so I set off to figure out. How can you actually change what you feel and what you believe and change old programming? That's been around since they were kids. Qadhafi's and that's that's what I figured out that was what my two year journey after that led me to figure out and not only did I heal myself. I changed everything about my life. I sky after sixteen years business skyrocketed into our most profitable profitable year by a lot had the most amazing partners Oh yeah partnerships relationships friendships. Everything just blossomed right in front of me. Everything changed when I changed myself. I am is that when the mind fix group was at one that came about it. It was right thereafter because people started to see how drastically my life and my business changed everything from money to relationships to my my happiness so I started to help friends and then suddenly people who were clients at the agency saw changes in were asking me to do work with them on the side died and then suddenly word got out and before I knew it. I didn't even have a business. And I had a ways lawson who saw that that we had this. I had this incredible success rate in worked for nearly everybody and I realized holy cow. The whole thing I've been looking for. What do I do you for the rest of my life? Since I don't want to just run this agency. It showed up right. Norman Vincent Peel was one of the most well known self help people back in the early nineteen hundreds he said you find a need and you fill it. Whatever that need is in the world you find it and fill in for you? You had a need for yourself and so you filled it and then with that then what became your. What was your stumbling-block became you're stepping? Stone is now you are helping so many people and fact you have our success rate of ninety five point six percent. That is incredible. Tell us more about that absolutely so I realized very early on that I wasn't going to do you. This if all I had was just another tool like plenty of people out there who do solid work. I wanted something that I could hang my hat on I. I wanted something that if I was back in the same position that I could look at it and go this works for almost everybody. You know. There's so much stuff out there that's just Kinda Kinda works at SORTA works. It works with some people and so we kept refining our process until we basically had something something that was so consistent that we were able to deeply believe ourselves that we could help nearly anybody who had the types of challenges that we work with in the way that we determine success rate beautifully. It's not us it's our clients our clients are the ones that come along and say yes breath. This problem that I came to you with no longer holds me back and it's only when our clients tell us that we're able to consider it a success. We don't come along and say we help this person. We only consider a success if our client says Yep. That's not holding me back anymore. I don't procrastinate. I don't have perfectionism. I don't have money bought. I'm no longer living in scarcity. Whatever it is that they come to us with? They're the ones that tell us that. The problem is gone. I love that because that's not about you. Tooting Your Own Horn simply your clients are now your referral baser. Your your the ones who can prove how well your model works which I think is fantastic. Some of the you mentioned just a couple of the struggles that people have but what would be the main struggles that you typically find when you work with people I would say some type of avoidance or procrastination people business owners who know that they need to do x Y and Z. In order to be successful you know whether their coach tells them or they have set up their goals and they just a week ago a month ago six months they go three years and they. I still haven't done the things they know. They need to deal to back. Definitely one of the most by far the most common because because we all want to be successful but to have that disconnect of. I know. I need to do this but I'm not going to do that in. Psychology actually have what's called an approach avoidance conflict. It's fancy term event fancy model basically. Say the more you approaches situation there's The the the the closer time is when you purchase situation the more you will la void it because there's more work to order to do it and so the heart of the worker the by the more the resistance of you wanting to do it and that conflict there is just exactly what you're talking. What about that can actually go on for for years and for for decades even for many people but for you and you know in psychology we help you get on the other side of that approach avoidance conflict with certain techniques but it sounds like yours? Does it just perfect wonderful way as well but for people who are listening dot is something to consider that there is an actual term for that in psychology as well if you do struggle without but now for you at ten days that is fantastic. Yes I mean we do not get rid of problems intangibles. Many people have had their experiences go away. We just had someone yesterday who finished her first day in the program and said that her issues easily fifty percents better and she's looking forward to week two so things have been really really quickly but the vast majority of within a week and a half of starting the program program already start seeing incredible changes and that's a significant difference than you know people who are doing six six month twelve month programs hoping to eventually see some chefs in the rhymes now in psychology. That whatever you perceive to be true determines what you feel determines what you do when you speak with people is it more about their perceptions of self or the world or is it more of information emotional implant. No no it's absolutely perception. Perceptions come from the beliefs from a cognitive behavioral standpoint. That's definitely what we teach as well when I'm looking at your website. I see that you talk about the impostor syndrome. Identify them that before. But why don't you tell me what that is because so many people struggle with imposter syndrome. Typically as when people feel like they're a fake a fraud. They're phony and that they're going to be found out talk that the success they've achieved or the recognition they're getting is not actually deserved or that they don't belong with the other people are that they're around or they don't deserve the success that they're having at the end of the day. What drives me crazy? Is that people say that. It's just something that exists and the most famous people in the world have it so you just just part of life. You're going to be successful. You have to suck it up and deal. Learn to deal with it. And I think that's the biggest bunch of bull I've ever heard because the only reason the only cause of imposter syndrome the cluster believes yeah. Exactly if you get rid of. I'm I'm afraid I'm a phony. I don't deserve success. I'm going to be found out things like that. And you you get rid of a couple of handful of other ones. There is absolutely no part of you. That will ever experience imposter syndrome. Because you don't believe those things to be true true anymore. Well and that would be a huge stumbling block for people because if they have that could you imagine if they didn't obviously you work with people who now no longer have that. But when you don't have that how much more room in their thought life in their in their belief system to go beyond with ever imagined absolutely I mean. Can you be successful impostor syndrome absolutely but it takes up a whole bunch of energy in your fighting resistance in. You're pushing through fears and anxieties when you could just have flow in momentum and go through your day with ease. It doesn't have to be hard and when you have in deal with things like imposter ostrich syndrome that's up energy could be putting towards something else and you know. Some people may not think of it this way but an entrepreneur their creative. I'm I'm ah a content creator I love to create entrepreneurs love to create when they create their business when they do all these things and so when you have this mindset of. I'm an imposter of sorts that that is destructive fan and that doesn't allow for that like you said that creative flow to flow through you tube feed a successful business person entrepreneur. Whatever it may be some so Glenn people are out there like you have fantastic program are able to help people do that? Tell us more about the process itself so I heard you say they have ten weeks ten sessions. How does that work? So our signature program is is in initial sprint of ten weeks many of our clients Levin kind of do a couple of weeks of integration. Go experience life with they're they're kind of new upgraded mind and they'll come back and do like a three month job where they get the two. They've up leveled so much. There's all sorts of new and exciting things that they see. They can Polish and improve on but in the initial ten weeks. A lot of what we do it is instead of trying to give people new tools and tactics we go in and we actually focus on subtraction. Instead of addition we go Ryan and we subtract the old programming we subtract the old belief structures. We subtract the problematic repetitive. Inner critical thoughts We subtract the stuff. That's holding people back. We don't give people things to learn or videos to watch trainings to do we. Just go in and go. All of these things are causing you. The headaches the problems and we help them pull them out so that they're no longer there. That's actually the bulk. And where a lot of the juice of our Kerlin comes through the subtraction. What I really like about this is and obviously there's a there's a whole process behind? It sounds so simple. And that's the that's what I think. Many people don't realize is change is simply fata way changes simply one second away two seconds away and and it's and I love to hear the the process of with a subtraction. Part is because with that it can be as simple as that and once again. I'm not I'm not minimizing the process of what we do because it's very powerful but people don't realize it can't happen that quickly. Oh absolutely absolutely. And there's the the easiest thought exercise in the world will illustrate this for people just to give them the tiniest tiniest taste of how how different their lives can be with what you just said you know thought difference and all it is is for for give yourself four seconds and imagine and that you were somebody who believed that everything that happened to. You was for your greatest. Good not telling telling you to believe that. I'm telling you to imagine being a person who believes that for five seconds. Imagine deeply deeply believing that for five seconds how amazing he would feel and how we know is something scary. Were to happen to you. How you'd feel entirely okay? uh-huh and just that tiny little thought exercise. Imagine you or someone who did believe you get that little glimpse of Oh my gosh. Everything would be different if I had that one belief if I actually believe that all my God the amount of stress and fear and worry would plummet. Because you'd you'd be sitting there going. No this is going to be for my greatest good eventually. And that goes back to what I said before about what something to the stumbling block or steppingstone would we rephrase. Situation say wait a minute I I don't like this. This is very difficult painful but I know that it is going to fit together what I was telling people as our life is like a jigsaw puzzle. Every jigsaw puzzle piece links together the other and when you pull back it what's what's created so far. That is who you are and so every piece you may not like a piece. Where would this piece even go when you put it together? You'll see. There's some beautiful sections of that picture. There's some really dark sections but all links together to make this beautiful tapestries. Beautiful photo of who you are and so when you think of it not respect as well. It doesn't make it like oh I have to isolate this issue. And that's that's who. I am an event that you went through simply event. It's not who you are. I really love the how you Oh really how people think about that that everything is highest good because it does give them a different reframe of their past and their future looks like so if people were to work with you. What what would that entail tale? What would have what would happen? We have an application process. One of the reasons we have such a high success rate is we really are choosy in picky about who we work with because we want to ensure that we want to ensure people experience incredible success and so we have really simple application process or we make sure that someone would be a brilliant fit in. They would absolutely incredible benefits that we can offer and if somebody it gets invited into the program they would do the initial ten week sprint with us. And at the end of that whatever their biggest challenges are that are holding them back the thing that is costing the biggest amounts of money and stress and anxiety and energy. It will be gone. Well it it it really is that simple. Wow that's amazing. I really like how you have that selection process because for some people and there's nothing wrong with this other companies may be like yes. This is every single person and and with that. Not Everything can be the cookie cutter so I'm really glad you have selection process about specific people that you know your program will work for now. Obviously it's GonNa be a lot of people but I like how you weed that out. Choubey say yes you are a good fit or perhaps at this not ready for this program absolutely so if they wanted to find out more information about you earn and to work with your company where are they find this information national on super easy mind fix group DOT COM. We have a website There that people can browse through a super long results Zolt page we have case studies. We have a free one hour video training. Lots of stuff for people to look at their perfect and file thank you so much have been a fantastic estimates. I'm really excited for people to work work with you. Thank you so much for having me. I also want to thank you my listeners. For Tuning in today please subscribe to this radio. Show through whichever portal you. Join me today. Also so please go to my website. Were you may sign up for the free weekly Recap Watch. My youtube episodes read articles. I've written specifically for you. I purchased my previous guests. SELF-HELP PRODUCTS REX. If you'd like to work with me be a guest on or advertise on this show visit. James Miller Life Dot Com. Be Sure to follow me all social media platforms under the name. James Miller policy except for twitter was james m life algae once again. Thank you so much for your support and I'll talk to you soon.