#055: Big Trouble On the Little Island of the Gods | Alisa Rutherford-Fortunati IV
This show is a production of migration media to learn more about us and see a complete list of our shows visit migration media talknet from gration media. This is migratory patterns. I'm your host I Mike Shaw. And as has become tradition we are wrapping up season. Three with a discussion between myself and my life partner her legally legally married to person paper. That's right yes individual person who is signed the legal contract with me to be. Did we actually sign it. Or did I just do my fingerprint actually. I don't remember if we signed find. It gets my thumbprint and maybe not signature. What we will check the check? We got the official document from the People's Republic of China. That says we are legally married which is interesting interesting but anyway this is a Lisa before to Nardi my wife slash partner and we are in Bali. Yes currently sweating sweating profusely. It's basically the default position here. You're sweating profusely unless you're in a place where the air conditioner is blasting. Let's good for your health right. And that's very good for you healthy. We have come to come together at the end of season. Three to talk about the big transition an ir life kind of talk out a few issues. If you've listened to this show you have heard me mention this being in Bali moving to Bali if you listen to a recent episode of the podcast bittersweet life. You would hurt my interview on nats show where I talked a lot about the issues. That have come up for myself as well as thoughts about my leaving China. But we're going to that between myself and Lisa right right now. So let's do a very quick recap. Why are we in Bali for those who have not heard the story before so we talked a little bit about this? I believe in the last podcast. The end the season two we talked about. We were GONNA go to Bali and yeah so we're here now in part because because I have joined a school here in Bali and The school focuses on mindfulness and holistic education nation. which is something I'm very interested in? Of course there's still a standard thorough academic curriculum as well but it is. It's very holistic and focused on developing all aspects of the individual which I think is an essential part of education. They plug in the mindfulness and Meditation Classes Right Not specifically meditation classes one of the classes. The students do yoga. One is gardening nine and then also. We have mindfulness time in morning. Circle Times where we do do meditation or breath work or things like that. It's non secular. There's nothing religious about it in any way shape or form bite. The students have the opportunities to develop techniques that can benefit them in a variety of ways. And this is all plugged into the British curriculums. This isn't like some crazy pampering scheme this is this is all I mean if you do research on it there's tons of schools actually in England right now. That are integrating mindfulness programs and is there. There's definitely more and more research about the benefits of mindfulness. Four were youth. There's already been quite a bit for adults that are shown how it can benefit us our health our mental wellbeing and things of that nature but as far as for students or youth. There's a less served it's being done now but there's less there are. There are already programs in the United States in and other countries that are integrating this into public the schools and private schools. So this is nothing new. It's nothing like shocking but this school has been around for twenty years and for me after I finish. Finish my master's program. I really felt like I wanted to continue my education and so in choosing jobs I am choosing schools that not only am interested in the country or the school itself. But I feel that I can continue continue my education as individual and as a teacher there so Bali was the place that we ended up being drawn to but it was more so in in some ways. The school that drew is here than it was. The Bennett was Bali itself. There's lots of wonderful things about Bali but I think it was the program and it it just kind of clicked. This feels like the next right step is very much career oriented. Yeah it very much is kind of different for us. Yeah neither reverse has ever made that kind of decision about life path before there are other schools of course they'd have these type of programs integrated into the core structure of their schools but again it was partially that it felt like the right place for for for anyone who hasn't heard before the story. We've actually we had a chance to come down here and actually visit the school. We were down here on holiday. Last winter last northern winter as staff offering to announce last northern winter. We were down here on holiday during the Chinese New Year break. The school was here. We checked it out. It was great. You had a really good good feeling when you met with the people and the environment is really nice and it's so different from Beijing and there's lots of great vegan food there's lots of You know lots of juices. We can drink lots of healthy food so there was a lot of things that made us feel like. Oh this is not only career wise for you. That was the paramount but then all the other things kind of lent it to being so different but in a way that we were interested in exploring right now when we got here here we ran into some unexpected road bumps and Some of them were kind of they were of the kind that you would expect. ACT TO RUN INTO IT. Which is kind of oxymoronic unexpected? But they'd be expected basically. It took US way longer to find a place to live than we thought it would. I think we'd budget in three weeks to find a place and it took a seven. I think in general to be a bit self reflective both both of us. I don't think we were no arrogant in the sense of. Oh we've got this. We've moved to across across the world before we've moved to another country. I was very much like that. Okay so maybe you word. I don't think we were. I wasn't necessarily arrogant in that exact way but there was there was an arrogance. There of we've done this before we know how to do this and I think we were. We're both naive in thinking that since we've gone through that whole process before that we would get here and yes things would be different but it wouldn't be such an intense culture shock. I honestly again. They're sounds incredibly naive. Steve Reflecting on it. But I didn't really expect to get culture shock and I just thought wargin I can kind of cause I love people watching and I love experiencing new perspectives and traveling new places and just experiencing different things so for my perspective. There was the sense of like I've done this before you know. I traveled across the United States. I lived in this place. I've lived in that place and so when we got here here. We gave ourselves week to settling joy ourselves and we really have a great time and then a certain point where like okay. We need to digging into house hunting and we had challenges finding houses in China as well but it. This was a whole other type type of challenge. We didn't know what an acceptable price really was. An a lot of things you find out through word of mouth moving to a place that has a high density tourists and not a AH. The density of the population is low enough that you can feel it really changes how easy it is to find a house reasonable cost of things in China. There was always kind of a higher cost because reformers but I think there was higher. Hi It was. You didn't feel it quite as much as you do here. It's not developed here. We went some some aspects will know week we came from a place where we had to figure out the cultural differences and we had to navigate not knowing the language but in in big cities in Beijing and big cities in China now especially in a place like Beijing Tier One city. There are apps you can just plug in what you're looking for and you find the options and it's not as simple as seeing what's is there and hitting a button you have to go visit and check places out but there's just a sink there are two or three places you can go and you can just find lots lots of places here. It's not quite that simple. There are websites you can go to. But it's an polices are notoriously. Not what they appear to be plus also we kind of put our restriction on ourselves but we wanted to be a very specific geographical area. You know we could have probably had an easier time finding a place if we had gone a little further out from where we are right now where we settled is great and we got it to just within that circle that we had drawn on the map and we Kinda I had to go to the edge that circle defined what we wanted. Because you couldn't find exactly the attributes of the House that we wanted and that was a real wakeup call and for me on my eyesight it was really about the lack of development like we came from a place that is. It's almost like living in the future if you come from the US and you go to China some of these tier one cities cities it is like the jetsons. It's just everything works. Everything is on an APP. You can find everything in a push button and most people speak enough English where you can get by. That's how I felt I and then we come here and none of that is no. That's here. I think that you have to make caveat here that that's true on a lot of aspects but at the same time there was also moments where you're like what is going on. Why do I have to go to the bank Ted Times to make this one transaction happen? Why do I have to go to five? Different banks to find one that will do you know. I think that there are lots of challenges in every place you go and there were lots of challenges in China but for us they were easier to navigate. There was something something about it and again it could be who we are. It could be when we went when you went in particular. Could be the people we had around us. It's hard hard to say specifically but there was something a about the way that Beijing worked. That was easier easier for us to navigate. When we got here I think both class it was just this huge wakeup call of like Whoa we have? I've no idea what we're doing in this place. Every thing that we thought we gathered every like to. Whoa we thought we had in our tool belt one? It was still being shipped from China to Indonesia. We had to wait for it to get here but figuratively we. We had to throw it out. We had to completely say okay. We're and maybe that's not the experience that every ex pat has or every international migrant has or maybe it is. I'm not sure but for us it was jarring and I because I had my work and school could find a grounding in that way but you know Working with migration media media it was I think it was even more so jarring. I went from having a nine to five job that I had had for eleven years to coming to a place. Ace where I'm totally working for myself at the same time trying to find a place where we can live. I'm I'm scout now places online finding links for you while you're at school and then if if we're lucky after school we can go visit a place or two if we're lucky. I actually started taking the headway on it. I was actually doing a lot of the research urge the majority of it and at a certain point I got so overwhelmed after two or three weeks of doing it mostly on my own because I am more particular particular to be completely honest. I'm more particular about certain things. And so that's why I had taken the lead on of course but after a certain point three or four weeks I was like I need you to take the lead now because I was so overwhelmed in burned-out by it. So that's the house part of it that we did have particular particular set of requirements that we wanted to find what we wanted in the very small geographical zone that and we wanted to stay in and then find it within a price range and at at high tourism season so a lot of these places are are being rented out as AIRBNB. We want to sign a yearly or multiple year lease from a lot of these places are going week to week month to month. So yeah that was. That was a struggle and that was kind of indicative of the road ahead. Yeah I mean it was it was Kinda rough. It was a lot rougher than I thought it would be and I the next thing saying I want to talk about is how we got to a week after we moved in. We haven't really settled. I had to do a visa and to for that visa on actually went back to Beijing and it was rough. It was a rough time. I loved visiting Beijing. I love seeing the friends I saw I saw. I saw more friends in the four days I was there then. I probably seen you know during the normal course of a month or so just because says it's all packed in very tightly and it was rough I found out I really missed it and I didn't quite understand why and it was a struggle. I remember we came. I came back and we had a conversation and we talked about how much we miss China and it was quite shocking to us how much we missed it if you listen to the last last podcasts that we did together. We were both having a hard time. I think at that point. I was almost having a harder time with the concept of leaving China which is unusual. Yeah it's very unusual for me. I am very flexible migrant. I'm very flexible about my concept except of home especially knowing my partner was going with me and off those things. It was surprising to me how how deeply I was feeling feeling it. I kind of come to a place acceptance when we got here it all came flooding back and I actually had to even ask like. Please don't talk about China. Please don't talk about Beijing. Because it was so heartbreaking had such deep grief about leaving even though it felt like the complete right decision it it was gut wrenching and both of us. Immune particular kind of came to this place that I realized I mean there was so many beautiful benefits and things that we got from being their challenges as well but what I realized eventually was that you know. It's is partially that Mike and I got together there. We got married there. We had our first apartment there. He used to offer his furniture. It against. Yeah we used to like just have incredible weekends either walking around a park or walking around Nikea Keno now people watching park. That's an incredible experience with China. You should do it if you're at the chance but it was. Yeah I mean it was. There were so many powerful memories there and when we left of course we didn't leave those memories but we left the things that physically titus to those memories and that was definitely a such a process of grieving. Yes tough and I honestly don't quite know why I feel that way like I mentioned this in my interview on the bittersweet life with Katie Shady. Sewell that I didn't feel this kind of missing this kind of longing after I left Boston. which is the place I grew up in I have such an intense attends deep love and connection to my hometown and I? I still don't feel that way. I mean I feel out here in the world as an international migrant. I am kind of in my my element. I'm I'm I found my calling. This is what I WANNA do. This is where I WANNA be and I'm with the person I want to be with but that it's getting better the whole separation from in Beijing as time goes on the AAC fades a little bit. I had to do another trip back. Just actually a week or two ago and it was a lot easier but I'm just not sure why felt that way and hopefully I can figure that out because I don't want to go through this again. Maybe it's maybe it's eleven years maybe it's it's all the amazing life experiences and coming into myself. Maybe that's the reason I got to tell you if we're here in Bali for a handful of years and I feel this way after moving out of a place I. I don't know if I'm able to handle this. We have to find you a job somewhere. We don't have to move. I think that is actually something thing that I think. Were still on the path of being international migrants. And I think we are still in the path of Living in various as places throughout my career and your career but more so it's my career that will take us different places. I think that we're still on that path but I think it did call us both to question how many times we WanNa do this. Yeah the shipping things here here. I mean we we down sized our lives a lot wheat throughout everything or gave away or sold everything that did not bring us joy and Aliens Marie Condo very proud of that. Well maybe not because we still have five cubic meters with us stuff which actually is not that much. I mean you the account when you say five hundred meters. I mean I took a picture. It's basically didn't even feel half of one of those mini pod containers but it took so long to ship it and it was so oh expensive and it's funny. Now that is derived. There's kind of this nesting process. That's going on and it feels really nice and I and a lot of this transition. It's feeling a little easier because it's just every day you do a little something you put something away. Something finds its place and it just feels nice like Oh. This place is a little more hours now. Yeah Yeah and that's really nice but yeah we're going to have to figure out some other way to do this and I actually. I've never taught to people who've around so much like when we left Beijing aging we were living out of our luggage for about four months because we left China we spent a month in the US. Then we spent two two months searching for a place here and actually in the first couple of weeks we were here. We were still live. Our luggage really was until I got back from visa around three and a half months living out of our luggage. I don't know how people can kill it. Didn't feel good at all. Now if felt very ungrounded and I think part of what attributed to that as well is that finding that community and that friend circle is a very different experience if you are in a place where you're just okay. Let's just meet everybody in forever however long you're here that's great and we'll start a friendship. Maybe that friendship will last for three hours. And then I'll never see you again are. Maybe maybe it'll be a couple months. That's great there are definitely people who are here long term but finding that long-term community mini and finding those people that are grounded in living here but still open to other people is challenging and and so we were searching for our home. We were waiting for all of our things that are nesting items to arrive. I from Beijing. We were starting to kind of look for socializing opportunities and all of the things we were finding. Were just just not very grounded. They were all transitional. The relationships were transitional separately. The people that I was meeting at my work mark which was lovely but I think We were also searching community beyond that in kind of I just feeling things out I can be at times introverted. I call myself a introvert or an ambivert so I've definitely have desired deeper friendships in the last few years and to not have quite as big a French circle but but to have the deep friendships and we did meet some some very nice people here but a lot of people are here for a very short amount of time and so figuring out what community means here has been an experience. Yeah and that's been a little a bit tougher for me because I don't have a professional environment that I go to. I don't have a set roster of people that I interact with every day. I don't have a routine. I have to develop my own routine which is tough in basically you have to pay to have a routine here. You WanNa go to like the same co working space every day and then you have to make an effort to engage with people you don't you don't have common cause with people going to job. What I've discovered is going to a job is is very freeing which is an oxy's like an oxymoron because when you go in their structure everyone has a way that they're operating everyone's part of a team? You're a part of that team. You know your role. Everyone's roles and define and within that context you can engage with people and that is very grounding and very freeing because because it gives you space to explore relationships with people how to relate to people is that someone could be a friend outside work etc etc here. It's not like that. And even if I go to the same co working space every single day the people who rotate in and out of there are constantly changing whether it's someone who doesn't go there everyday just once in a while or at someone who's there for a month on rotation and then they go to some other place. It's really this whole different animal. One interesting thing that happened to me is actually. It was last night I went. I went to this kind community event at a school and it was awesome because everyone who is there were our age and most of them had kids and there were vendors. It was Kinda like this this fair at the school where they had vendors and food and rides and all this cool stuff and and I met a bunch of people people and it was the first time I felt like Oh there is a community here and there are spaces where these people gather and I can gravitate to them. It doesn't have to be about me going to work every day. I can build those relationships and find those structures outside of workplace which is something I've never had to really work has always is provided kind of the foundation you. When I was in Beijing I was in Beijing? I found my job a two months after I arrived there and yes I'm all of my friends. I met outside work but but I had that grounding in a job that I went to every day I had that steady income that afforded me the ability to go out and drink lots of alcohol and art clubs and stuff now. Now that I'm GonNa do that now but yes so it's been really difficult for me to navigate this space because it is so different from any other space I've ever experienced here and if we go to a different city in a few years it may be totally different again. It may be another one of those cities where people tend to live there here. This is a place there. There are people who live here but there's also are huge proportion of the people just pass through and it is really tough to find those spaces to navigate through through the environment in such a way that you don't feel isolated. Hey everyone if you like the kind of conversations that we have here and migratory patterns you should check out pop abroad hosts Michelle. Obama is a mission to help ex pats and migrants live their best lives overseas by talking with the people who are doing it right now during the first season. She's talking about community why we need it. How can use it to get a leg up? And how the best community leaders make. There's work listening to she interviews credible women who are killing it overseas to hear how they're creating community in their adopted homes. You can learn more and hear the latest episode at Migration Media Dot Net. We're just search for pop abroad. Wherever you get your podcast so the last thing I wanNA talk about was the physical environment vis-a-vis transportation infrastructure? And this sounds like I'm GonNa get all Wonky but I've discovered there is is just a basic level of comfort that I have knowing that there's public transit around and here in Bali there is zero. None no I know public transit at all. You have to either get a cab or a car hire or a bike hire and let me let me tell you. If you're not riding a scooter you you ain't going anywhere very fast. You GotTa have a scooter otherwise you are sitting in traffic because the roads are narrow. You can't walk anywhere. I see people riding bike and riding bikes and I think think my God those guys have a death. Wish it's crazy. The roads are just so treacherous. It has been a wakeup call for me. Now the flip side of that has been ever since I Sattar riding a scooter man feel awesome like to get on that scooter and go and I know I'm not going that fast but I'm going pretty fast. It feels very liberal out. I was telling you I think might be a motorcycle guy. Yeah I never thought of myself that way I mean if we get back to North America at some point I might. I WANNA get a motorcycle or a really nice scooter really enjoying the scooter. I never did the scooter thing in Beijing scooters everywhere in Beijing but I always wrote a bike because partially because I wanted the exercise but also just because even there was a little treacherous and I just felt safe on the bike because it's smaller frame and I can weave in and out much more agile then cars and scooters but here man. I really liked that scooter. I had a different experience with that. Maybe for you like the community has been harder to find for me dealing with not being able to just walk places or take a bus or the subway. I really don't like not being able to walk to for me to in that you know for me part of how I explore and find my grounding in a place is is to walk. I love walking place for us to walk to the grocery store. That's kind of on the other side of our neighborhood which is not that far. It's like a treacherous the ranger at some point. We're walking in the middle of the road. It's dangerous and so I think that was all we had visited here. That was one of the things that it was like. Oh Oh wow like you cannot walk here. There's there's a few areas have sidewalk or enough of shoulder where it feels safe towards the area. Yeah yeah but most areas there's no shoulder and if there is a shoulder that's probably a bike on it. Yeah we're in the places where it's not a tourist I e area. We're in a place where it's a touristy area and there is actually a sidewalk or a shoulder that is separated from the road. It is not going. It'd be free of motor vehicles. Not People do not walk here. There's just no consideration given I and because I love walking the first three or four weeks we were here are actually more than that. I think the first seven weeks I did walk and People Billig I saw you walking or some of the people from my school would stop and be like two hundred ride. And I'm like no all of this is purposeful. It's okay yeah we actually purpose this mistake. Two months I want to be the first seven weeks while we were looking for a place. We purposefully found like AIRBNB B.'s. That were within walking distance school so you could walk every day and I met. I met some amazing dogs. Not Everybody has agreed experiences with the dogs but I met some amazing dogs. who were lovely? There was this like huge Mama pit bull that I would see every time so sweet and and I got like a walk through a rice field and then in on crazy busy road to my school and there was lots of interesting and enjoyable experiences that but for me since I started learning learning to drive when I was fifteen and a half sixteen. I've had a lot of anxiety about driving and I'm not sure if fits proper to call it a phobia or if it's just to say that it definitely causes me anxiety and I've driven across the United States for three and a half months of my own. I if you know. I've done a lot of things that required me to drive but if I don't drive for a long period of time it starts to make me anxious again so moving here where basically if I want any freedom I have to get on a scooter has been intense and I think part of the reason that this is important to talk about is to talk about mental health and what that means as an ex pat. Because you're going through an experience that's often hard to explain to people that have not been through that experience in you may be used to a certain type of health care and mental health care in your home country and finding that elsewhere can be extremely challenging. I think talking about mental health mental health challenges is incredibly important Porton. I'm doing fine but I do have a lot of anxiety about this thing. That is in central and important part of life here in Bali on on the scooter. Yeah I'm getting on the scooter and this is definitely one of those times where I'm like. Okay what kind of counter can I reach out to that that can maybe support me that or that we could even talk about the experiences. Were having as partners and on our roane individual journeys because for both of us. This was the first time that we moved to a new country with with somebody else and so on many levels I was wonderful because we have this partner to go on this journey with but you can also also expect that. Even if you're in the same place doesn't mean you're on the same journey. Yeah it's kind of interesting we the way we did it as we were traveling for a month breath and even during that month we were kind of separated for a week or two doing her own thing in the US but then we came through Beijing and then we came here to Bali the first week we were just kind kinda hanging out so we were kind of almost on this travel vibe together. Like we're traveling. Were on the road where we're getting on a flight. Where going to this hotel? We're going to this AIRBNB here. And then at some point it stops being a trip together and starts being. We've moved someplace together and that's where it started to feel different. Yeah And I could see for us. We have been able to maintain and Allow our relationship to shift and to grow as were here but I you know. I think I was talking to you a a couple of weeks ago or something like that. That that I bet there are quite a few international migrant couples. They break up when they moved to a new place. This because for both of us we were able to thankfully talk through our experiences and to share that with each other but his so incredibly intense and kind of like stepping back from that and looking at it together. It's like wow I think a a lot of people could not survive this. Yeah so even though they it might sound strange to be in one breath talking about motorcycles in the next breath talking talking about how intense it is for couples one example of how again we were having completely different experiences. RANCE'S I'm on. I'm on the bike. I'm loving it. It feels like freedom. It's helping me ingratiate myself into the environment here at super triggering for me me. I'm finding great community my school for you not. Yeah and so again like I had a lunch with Somebody in the first few weeks that I was here and there like how are you doing and everything and I was like. I'm doing well. I'm actually doing really good and and again like on many levels GATT. Were we're great. We're we're doing well but then there's these other levels of processing the experience and figuring out what it means is to be here and to be together here and to be having only only separate experiences in the same place it is it is really mind blowing. It's jarring a you know I. I've used that a few times but I think that there there has to be okay so in our first week here there was an earthquake. Yeah was that a second day or something right and so we're sitting on the couch in the it starts to shake and and I'm kind of noticing it Michael. Ix Mesa's this system quick house like generous quake. It was very minor so we're both sitting there concerts to get a little more intensive sh winco somewhere him maybe get a little more intense starting roar. Yeah we're like Oh yeah we need to move. It was done so it was like it was not a big. But that's what it's felt like. It's felt like the earth has been shaking. It's actually a really great analogy because it started slow. We just noticed it. We we had enough time to question it something happening. I think something's happening. And then it's like Holy Shit. Something's happening and you had so we're both kind of. That's that's basically the the best analogy of like we're looking at each other. We're going what's what's going on. Something are we having experiences that are challenging and then they're gone and that it's like a so. It's a cycle of kind of being like well. That's that was an experience and I think we had those in in China. Ah but for some reason we were able to take them in a different way. He's feels different here. If we went through this stuff in China. Obviously it was different in the sense that when you got there had been there for I think six years at that point so you had someone to obviously. It's different if you go somewhere and you're moving in with someone and there's we had challenges with that where it wasn't Europe. We got our own apartment and it would I place that was ours because the place you went to wasn't yours. Awards was an hours but this this feels so different. This this whole experience feels a different. I don't know what the heck is. I don't know why my first six months in in China were superintendents. You also got hired pretty quick. I got hired a new school and I was learning Mandarin and I was just transitioning to being there was there were very intense But for very different reasons and again there's been lots of things that have happened that have just rolled off my back there. There was some tools in my tool kit that I was able to use like there was a whole bunch of stuff that happened with getting my workers and and bureaucracy that I could easily allow to roll off my back because they've had crazy experiences with getting work visas before I just wanted to check the great story about US going to open your bank account. We have total child China bureaucracy. PTSD this was hilarious. We had to go get you back account and we thought what we need to bring every scrap paper that we could possibly think of. We brought you work contract. We brought your work visa. We brought a birth certificates Africa. We brought our marriage licenses and the English translation we bought. We bought our lease every possible thing and we got there. They wanted the passport and my work year. We're the permit which is called Keita's but yeah it was like we had. We literally brought a backpack full. The documents we were so prepared and then we got got there and it was like. Oh okay we don't need as much but again like there have been lots of experiences that we've just like rolled with and have you know there's I mean we've been here for five months four months four months and during those four months so much has happened so when we're talking some of the challenges there's been tons of things that I think other people would say that's a challenge and we were just like whatever we just like let it go because we've lived in China. We know challenge pitch tons of stuff that we just like let roll off our back and lots of again. Lovely people that we've met but but there was all these other things that have been really humbling and I think gaming humility is always a good thing because it makes you more empathetic and compassionate schnitt person towards yourself and other people that are having those same experiences but I think that the the thing that it really made us realize was that we were going to have to evolve as a couple that we were going to have to find find our path here on our own but also together and that we were GonNa have to find our way to strengthen and maintain our mental health in a different way and it's been a really a powerful experience in looking at where your priorities are what you truly need and what it means to migrate to different places. Do I think Bali needs more foreigners. You know straight up. No they should kick us all out. Do I think there are benefits sometimes having people migratory of course of course but I think again. It's it's been an eye opening experience On the impact. You have when you move to a place and the impact. That place has on you. Yeah so ah one one note before we get to the end. I spoke to a mutual friend of ours who will go nameless because she wishes to remain nameless she is from Hawaii a place you have lived and and she was telling her when I met. We're here in Beijing and telling her about our experiences here her is just like Oh my God. It's just like Hawaii. I would hate it. They're you just and Hawaii is a place. I've lived as well so what you say when you're saying that I'm just hearing her saying the same thing and I just can't wait till she comes down and you you guys can talk about how much this is. The things that are bad in Bali are like all the things that are in Hawaii right right so we've been here for months. We got at least a year and three quarters to go or more. Maybe we're open to it but at least that what do we think. What's the verdict moving to Bali a decision that we made thumbs up up comes down moving to Bali a decision we made thumbs up comes down down so can I have more fingers than just my mom I? I'll start didn't come affreux break. I I need at least a couple of digits to explain how I feel the five star rating. You can't do yes or no. You gotTa have the gradations Dacians of ratings in two different things so I need category. This is not how the Internet works. You see how I work and the the Internet can deal with it. Well I'LL START I'll say thumbs up and I'll repeat the same reason I gave when I was on a bittersweet life which is I need to be uncomfortable. Yeah and yeah. I was super comfortable in Beijing and I was. I found this thing I wanted to do. With Migration Media and cross-border communications nations and trying to create a space where ex pats and migrants can create culture together. Bring us all closer together even though we're far apart that's what I WANNA do can't do that if I'm in a place where nine to five job and I know all the ropes. I don't have to work for anything. I need to be uncomfortable to force me to do some stuff and in that sense. I'm glad we moved here. Would I trade in some of the experiences. Yes but I'm actually because we're not fully through a lot of the stuff that we're still dealing with. It's Kinda hard to feel this way but I tend to look back at the hardships in my life and the stuff that I've overcome or survived through. Those are things that those mountains I've climbed those are things I can point to and say I accomplished that. Yeah I got through that and I feel like I'm not quite there yet but when we get I'm I'm almost there and when we do I'll be able to say moving to Bali. Ali and making the transition was a thing that I complex and combined that with the fact that I've been uncomfortable and it's helped me to learn how to do something new I'm it's a thumbs up for me. Yeah I'd say work-life Work Community Kids in my classroom teachers. I work with administration all of the people surrounding that aspect of my life. Two thumbs up they are beautiful l.. Incredible kind hardworking. You know there's always challenges no matter where you go different things but to fricken thumbs up as far as finding my grounding here Pinky oh sideways Pinky and pointing fingers TVD TV. What I mean relay wave TV the working on it still working on it? You GotTa get John That scooter generally opportunities for growth thumbs up like you said. I think that was a perfect perfect way to say it is those opportunities where you are. Uncomfortable are perfect moments for growth. That's why we came here and we are getting exactly what we came here for. Well let's leave it there for now because because we are gonNA come back next week with a special guest who's going to actually talk to us about some of the issues that we've talked about some of the stuff we have been going through. Help US maybe find new ways to think about it and maybe even tell us a little bit about ourselves. We haven't figured out yet which wouldn't be that difficult against I. Thanks so much reduced baby. We're GONNA turn the fan on this. Has Been A migration media production to learn more about the lives of international migrants and see our lineup of shows visit us at migration media dot net or look for us on twitter facebook and instagram.