Episode 85: Let's Just Start Over

Automatic TRANSCRIPT

This episode of the short portraits brought to you by hellofresh. So what does hellofresh hellofresh makes conquering the kitchen reality with delicious, simple recipes the all the meal planning shopping prepping. So you can focus on a healthier you. And a happier family. We got a lot of stuff going on in our lives. We don't need to be worrying about this stuff. Hellofresh takes care of that for you. Fresh premeasured ingredients and easy to follow six. Step picture recipe. Cards are delivered to your door each week and especial insulated box. I'm an idiot following directions. Not good at it. They make it easy. Very simple. Tommy. I mean, it's the best. Like, that's all you want the best nothing better. Yeah. So you spend less time you'll planning grocery shopping. So you can take that time. You can get that time back. Do more of what you love which is watching the Yankees didn't go so well this weekend, but you know, things will get better. Hopefully, so there's three plans to choose from classic veggie and family with the option of switch between whatever your taste whenever your tastes change, which could happen. Very frequently. It's a fun menu. Features. Hellofresh dinner to lunch twenty minute meals, gourmet and one pot wonders among more. I personally went with the amazing apricot chicken at brought over my buddies place because I I still live at home. But I was able to bring it over there. Just bring some food, and they we loved it. We made we made the apricot chicken we made the Meatloaf ball Sonko and the poor convey g bit I still can't pronounce it. But Bibi bap-. I think that's what it's called all delicious. It's so much better than like like getting fast, food and stuff. It's just actually in real meals for cooking. It feel good about ourselves. Emit our weekends a lot better. So what you're gonna do listeners for eighty dollars off your first month of hellofresh eighty dollars off you go to hellofresh dot com slash porch. Eighty hellofresh dot com slash porch. Eighty and you're going to enter the promo code porch. Eighty it's la- basically like receiving six meals for free. You get twenty dollars off your first four boxes. It's great. I mean, there's there's no reason not do it. I don't know what I was doing before this, you know, getting faster wasting my non that don't need to do it. Hellofresh has all the things you need. So again, you go. Hellofresh dot com slash porch eighty enter the promo code porch eighty. Our Todd as five as go the Bosnian love these Aaron Boone the leader his I sat out of the game. Piggies? To the first. The portrait ROY. What's up? What's happening? Welcome to another dish in of the short porch. Presented by barstool sports. I'm host hubs alongside on the other side laptop the colossus the cloud the got himself. He's got some new dance moves in his in his bag. Apparently, Tommy smokes. Tom belly? What's going on? What's those moves are actually one video wasn't good? But the one where my knees are moving out of like, a crab leg. I mean that was actually. Disagree. I don't know what you're doing. You got don't don't let that be next time. At people ask you, comfortable comfortable in my own skin. I'm I'm gonna let the move talk themselves. We'll we'll get in the Vegas at the end of the show. We're going to the Yankees right now. It's a new season watch regular season baseball. Feels great actually stuff to do. Now. Watch the keys instead of just sit around on my ass, the bad news, they'll sitting around their ask just watching the ankles. Well, went to the game on Saturday. That was well tire still sitting on the ask there. I guess but. Bad news, still haven't changed the strategy of beating the Orioles. We're not doing it or hitting with runners scoring position. The up to for fourteen to twelve to fourteen to fourteen not good two things. I mean, the two biggest the biggest problem Yankees. Last year was their inability hit with John scoring for this hour to get that key hit make productive outs. I think they were very reliant on the long ball, which is okay when you hit two hundred sixty seven home runs at burqa major league record. But as we saw in the playoffs and stuff you need to be able to be better at situational hitting us. The reason the Red Sox or so good last year the reason that and we'll, you know came back today, and they they get the right hit at the right time. Danke have not been able to do that they chase out of the strike zone. Yeah. They'll draw their walks here. But they just cannot seem to get the big hit in the moment. They needed. It was the biggest problem last year. It seems like it's going to play them again this year, which would suck and the other big problem for last year, which seems to again be the case is they cannot be the goddamn Baltimore Orioles to four twelve runners Corp. Today. John Carlson hates big moments in driving people in just the spy not a good not a hobby of his to drive people. In a big big moments actually comes up with the worst moments of his life. Can't hit the change up. That was interesting. We got a guy name. I mean, the whole Orioles roster. It's fucking insane that they should be two three. I mean, it's got him. John means going three and a third against us. One run ball five ks anxious. Throwing the changeup into anything else. Isn't a fastball. Many thing I'll stir changeups you knew. It was coming screaming change, my room alone. I'm just screaming changeup Stanton has no idea. What's coming swings? Which I- Thursday after the game Thursday. I was laugh as looking at the Orioles roster. I was laughing all this team this poor team. When twenty four games this year, the number. I throws the Oriels may when twenty four games this year. Yep. Well, they already got to knocked off right there. Yeah. You like you think about so the priming the the probably going to be a very bad team. Don't think Oriels that surprise sleeper this year? Just don't see it happening or we had our own. What if the Oriels are the powerhouse alias? Thank you just lost a tough series to great bulk up. I said today's looks like the to me the raising raising Oriels battling enough they at least while. Neither is we'll be. Yeah. There is good. I guess the Mariners are gonna be five and one they're gonna be in Croatia. They might actually be that sleep. They have like some scrappy guys on the Mariners team. But what we're talking the is here we got guys like the Smith guy, Ray, Nado, Nunez, just killing us all week destroying us. Fucking three run Homer today. Jay hap- body. We doing. I mean, you probably early part, but wasn't good. Yeah. I only saw the end. I we didn't have TV on the plane, and they didn't even have how do you not have TV's in twenty well that too? And then Also Thursday opening day. I didn't have live TV was able to like buy something where I could stream video so just used FOX Wirtz go, but they they didn't even have like a streaming option. Couldn't you just how to buy like basic WI fi that that didn't even work whatever I don't wanna complain about that see I only saw the end of the game. So I didn't see Jay half. But judging from the vox gore from the scores. I mean, Jay have come up clean it up. I even solve verse three hour rain delay that I will I'll give half a little bit of a pass here. Because as a starting pitcher like, you know, you that for sure three hour rain delay was tough. Congrats to anybody stuck around new ever ward with the Anki just taking a shit on your face, basically. Because I said that if you when it was. Only was early on us for nothing and things were looking bleak before they made a little bit of a rally back. I said every fan should just get a thousand dollars for sticking around the three hours and sitting in the cold in drizzling rain watching this fucking shit team. Be us you deserve thousand dollars cash. You should have been handed that as you walk out the door. I mean, there's a chance that if you went to today's game as anti fan, you could almost Mark today down as one of the worst days your life. You probably leave your house so early overly had a sit and rain for hours thing all the money is spent on the tickets all the money is spent at concessions there. And then you sat through in awful game that took so long and they lost your wet. You get home on a Sunday night. How far you live? It's super late. It's like an all time bad that. Yup. And you probably those me great days Sunday in the Bronx. Nice little one o'clock start and watch him beat up on the Orioles. I mean, a lot of money on them. Just just fucking shit on by lost so much money in the Yankees this weekend because I was at the game. And then today just kept live betting them. They're killing my banks there minus four hundred both days, right? Yeah. We were taking run lines. Live lines. Never bring a mardi Michigan. That's that. I want that blew up my face at great CT ruined everything. He's just is. Fucking mush. So what else? We were you watching Ronin Tarpley today. Did you see that? No, I think that was just about when I started Gary hits the Homer to cut it to one hits a fucking bomb. The most like let out your frustrations home could have. Anoc concern mccarey. I still think he's great. They call it to one eighth inning rolls around. They got Stephen Tarpley in there who hasn't pitched this year yet. And now, I think even Tarpley's good these very good for us. Nice left. The arm out of the pen didn't give up a run in spring. Stephen tar bleeds shouldn't be pitching eighth inning in a one run game. That's not the spot for Stephen Tarpley with plenty other guys do that. And he just and it gives them a two run Homer to Joey Joey Ricard, Rickard whatever I say is names, and that pretty much did it. I mean, they rallied a little bit in the ninth. But wasn't an too late to too much too late. Zach Britton could have been used there for sure I mean, you don't wanna use Chapman that spot. Obviously, maybe is I don't know you wanna use out of you know, three or four days, but there were options they're besotted when Canley and inning earlier use Canley there. Yeah. Him to I'm Brenton. I think Zach Britton like I think they're scared because they they have you know, they're gonna they're pretty much doing bullpen day on Monday with her mom. Starting it. Although I think it's gonna turn into her mom pitching a normal game. Some sure they were trying to, you know, save a bullet and go Tarpley there. But the wrong move. I didn't like something. I mean, you gotta win games. I get it. I mean, you put him on the team you have faith in him. But. It was again, it's gained three. But you don't want to start the season lose two out of three the I think they had a manage it a little bit more like we need to win today. Yeah. I mean. I hate people that say like, what are you getting so fed up about like it's March relax by this is how we how we lost the division last year. You lose these fucking the shit teams. This isn't even a shit team. This is this is a really good teams zaas this some good teams. There's the sleeper teams. There's some bad teams. There's shit teams. Then there's a hundred feet of crap. And then there's the Orioles that's the team we lost a fucking series too. I'm not okay with that. That's you can't be okay with that. Judge is not okay with that. Judge had a quote after Saturday, and it was great. I was like I want to get it right here. Pull it up. He was just you know, they were flat. They reflect. There was listen. I get Sunday you come up, a rain delay three hour, rain delay. You're all out of whack or three hour rain delay to that's fair totally fair. But on Saturday, no excuse for that you're facing fucking Nate. Kearns who hasn't. Pitched in a year. He didn't pitch last year, he's recovering from thoracic outlet syndrome, which is what Harvey had them pretty sure. And you let that guy just muo over you come on judge after the game on Saturday. I love all this scummy fired up was like pre gaming when when I saw this quote. I was just like let's go we're winning ten fans on that. Didn't happen goes last year. There were so many missed opportunities in games that we should have one. We didn't come up with a big hit a costly error. Every single game is important in the playoffs. Especially in twenty seventeen going down to Houston and Cleveland our backs were against the wall. And we came out and played our butts off that's got to be our mindset our backs against the wall. You can't take anybody lightly. I mean, that's exactly wanna hear that something Derek jeeter would say that you know, that something air as the leader of this team. Aaron judge these say that and then you just come out like this on Sunday. They what. I mean, you got it back that talk. I mean. Yeah. I mean, he had he had a big hit. He added. He had. I'm not saying him specifically. Yeah. They have to be able to back that up, and they just didn't any. I agree. These people are like it's March. It's not even April. It's game show. Equal. Every game. The Saint every game is one of one hundred sixty two doesn't matter when it's plead. Everyone counts as a win every loss counts as one loss. And also, we waited six months to loss in heartbreaking fashion. The Red Sox. We spent it off season they got a little bit better. But you know, it wasn't the splashy offseason. Everyone sort of expected. Thank he's finally get back, and we opened up the season losing two out of three at home. One of the worst baseball teams ever. Of course, you could be mad about that. Now, we're going to be bad this year doesn't mean that they're gonna you know, lose one hundred games or anything they'll be fine in the long run. But still right now like it pisses you off especially because of the way they lost being what basically ended their season last year. The people that say these games are important can actually go fuck off go into the ocean. Just keep walking. And don't don't turn around just keep walking. That's why won't you do every fucking game matters while we're basically if you're a baseball fucking nerd lug us every like, this is what I live for your gangs. I lift the Neo gangs. Get trounced fucking Baltimore Orioles. And Ray not newness. And John means John means, I mean, we're we're whole company based off of like names. Right. Like, you have to have a good name to be an athlete. John means. The odds of becoming a pro athlete negative one hundred percent John that is a mere Johnny fucking professional baseball player. John means an insurance Ausman. Yeah. Generic city. The fuck is Eric Uber. Mint is a better fucking name than that. Now. I don't know about that hubs works short works better. Classic office guy. That's why like walking around. You're walking your desk and say human, those files, we're not. Yeah. Then you time me in the bathroom, which is crazy to still let you do that. All right. Let's get good group in there. I like exiled when you do that. Because I was actually timed at my last job in the bathroom. So we'll PTSD your time at this job to fuck. You. There was some good today. Your your most hated person in the world and the guy who has some belief in Lewis pretty fucking good that I say I thought he's he came in and the fifth to leave to relieve half and. And Hymie Nieva's good. He gave a run early. You got charged one for the game give too. But did what he had to do eight innings through strikes five ks. He's pretty good. I as a long relief guy passed the first for me. So I don't know look you'd probably see. But now, but you know, what I do is. I don't wanna start the season three games in losing a series to the Orioles and talking about our bright spot being Louis goddamn Cessa. That is not how I wanted this season to start for totally fair. Got another bright spot for you. DJ LeMay who is the best hitter of ever seen in my life that I couldn't agree? More the keys need nine DJ limit who's he is a professional hitter. And when we got him we saw that in the off season. All right. He's a contact hitter. He's gonna hit hopefully near three hundred just put the ball in play kind of type hitter. At the Red Sox too made them successful last year. That's the type of guy we need an oats only been to two games for him. But I mean, he's he's unbelievable. He's unbeliev. He is everything out amount of, you know, told us he'd be he said, he's quiet, but you're gonna love him the fans will love digilent- IRA deal. I mean. What? Yeah. I mean, even on Saturday. Had the are opening RBI single up the middle. He had two hits on Saturday and made a few plays at third. I was like, Yep. I like that guy knows that feels like them like that man because everyone else is like very shaky glared gleyber still making his young mistakes a little bit too low is gonna be legit obviously to Chiloe throughout the guy at home yesterday on Saturday. And I was like okay, I in that was a little too low wind back the clock type play. He looks great out there. So far, I basically a little liability burder. Void no one's an all star. There. And obviously you have to her when you watch and Harpo third, although he did make it very nice butter today to save a double and he couldn't come up. He he is throw was like probably three tenths of a second. Too late. Not as falls very nice play. But when you watch LeMay who out there, you're like, okay TAT's? That's like if we Manny Machado. That's they're basically the same fielding wizards out there. I will say jumping around here real quick. But and a hard getting charging error on Saturday. You actually game on Saturday. I saw that. Yeah. That that being charging error was. I mean, don't always that Saturday Friday now. Wait a minute Thursday. There's bird sorry. Yeah. Yeah. Rainsville jumbled that air on Thursday. I mean that's Greg birds error. That's that's bullshit that he got starts there invade very nice play. The throw a one hopper that bird has to come up with. That's his faulty hit or an error on bird. Not. And that's that is bullshit to the errors thing. We said we're seventeen and a half. That's well it does count. I'm only saying that because I took the over in that. But back to LeMay who do you think he should be leading off? Who sucks is Brett Gardner Burke, garner sucks. He did today did have one as in zero seventy or something. I mean like you look at the ankles lineup and all the averages and on Baker Sanjay's, a pretty good three games. But it's not like people are hitting, you know, a buck fifty Brett garners the I mean he's starting off every game. And every time he is out with the exception of thing. And that hearts, you can't have that making out every time you get up, especially when you're a head of Aaron judge, call the Stanton, Luke Voight. He yeah, I think should be leaving Brett Gardner shot. He's a shell of himself. I'm sure we'll get hot eventually whatever all say Gardy, come for me, usually more of a garner support. Anyone else should be price ocked route there, whatever I don't wanna get into it. But no Gardner leading feels forced this point. What here it's not anymore? Now, you know what's gonna happen on Monday. Right. I mean. That's no, no. Here's a hundred percent now playing on the. Yeah works. That's how Aaron Boone in the analytical department work. Oh did good today. Day off the Mark. It's tally do it. Yeah. There's no way you a Monday. I mean. Yeah. He needs to be. I mean, I agree. But he needs to be in the lineup every day at this point. I mean, he's hitting the ball. Really? Well, hopefully Knicks get back soon. Too obvious. He'll be leadoff hitter. Once he's back now Burke garner one thing to bring them back. It's one thing to have them be starting now while likes his out, but you can't have them lay off any more. No, it does not work. Obviously, we do need Hicks his bat in there soon. I was thinking long term today, even though it's been three games. And this is the most overreaction thing of all time to thought, but when Dee's back, and let's say Hicks is there and everyone's healthy. How do you get LeMay, Hugh, everyday at that's think I starting to think about that. I do have the the correct answers Voight will be Deitch and LeMay he will be a first baseman. I think that makes a lot. Lineup. I think. Yeah. I agree. That's yeah. So drink Carlo and left Hickson center judge in right? The man who first boy. Yeah. Now, I make sense. And you and you can also you still have all the tulips. He's a lot of. Yeah. I I mean, I don't think that's going to be like that was not planned to be a long-term makes it to July were that's unbelievable to the cat him. You definitely get a World Series ring. Really ready if they win the World Series. He right here in the World Series. I will say on and with that lineup. I mean, we're taking we're talking months ahead. No. But. You know, you can play you can still spell everybody. You don't. Void can just go play. I for a day when we'll make you just go place. Short third second while that guy de H is you can finagle it a lot. There's a lot. You can do it at the top of their priority list right now, I was just thinking it because I think he's the greatest ever seen. So I just want to plan for him to be in the lineup everyday. But that doesn't need to happen. I would very much like him to be leading off. That'd be very cool. Other things from today. I guess that's covers today. Saugus talk opening day. It's good things. Right. Opening day was awesome. Luke voids Homer was electric. I mean what better way to start of can Harper just homered again Jesus Christ. Two zero seventy seven Brecher and Harper's just moon. Shots aren't little hoodies wherein Barcelo de screaming he is a Hanje every single person in in the stadium. Even the fans. Luke voice, Homer was awesome. What better way to start? What just gotta be like an awesome moment for him. Because you know, we're year removed from him being in Saint Louis forgotten man with no role whatsoever. Because Matt carpenter's ahead of him in the in depth chart and carpenters, very, very good. And it wasn't his fault. Really? And then we give chasing even guy goes. And he flashed over the year and the guys are fucking opening day cleanup hitter for the New York Yankees. And he's hitting a three run home in the first inning. Does not get better that now it was it was like when he came up to a plea. It was in the back of ruins mind here. Like, oh, could you imagine? If it's a home run here didn't actually expect it and then he just sent up ball to the moon. I mean, you've dubbed Luke for your favorite athlete of all time. Right. Basically right now, I I like him a lot. I'm I was I think a little more skeptical new coming into the season. I mean, obviously, he still has a lot more proved this. Zain? But that hitting that Homer that I in that moment. I was like, okay. Like, he's the real deal. Yeah. He has vaulted to my favorite player in sports, which is very hard thing to do because Roger Federer is number one. But right now weird. But whatever what fetter there was the fact that was fetters weird even over this. But McClay just one is hundred first title today, says very cool one Miami open on that great. But it's just weird tap is your favorite athlete ever. Yeah. Whatever. But just brings a smile on my face every time, he's every time something good. I just get. I personally feel maybe we've been so in on him from the start that like he's our guy. But everything I mean him he hits the home run. His heart is beating so fast tries to eat sunflower seeds and just as brain isn't working. He just throwing like five hundred of sieges in his mouth. And he just no idea what he's doing is very young. I used to. I when I played like literally got so I would because I could never eat sunflower sunflower seeds never able to crack my now and get the seed just put a chunk in suck on them. And get the flavor and spit them out whole, you know, I played baseball my whole life. I never have ever done seeds ever. Yeah. Never tried one sunflower seed. That's insane. I just I. Yeah. I know it's crazy. I do video just trying to sunflowers. I don't I wouldn't even know what to do. It's I mean, you it's hard to do it in your mouth. I know people. Do it. You could crack it you do one at a time like crack it in eat it look ridiculous. But it is a way to try it. Yeah. I mean, come up is never a major corrobos gets a hold of this. You're in trouble. Probably the Yankee baseball ours. Never eaten sunflower seeds to shoot gum all the time. The gum guy. I probably prefer gum. But still something you just gotta try. Yeah. Whenever I played baseball was true. Gum. Yeah. That is very bizarre and hand up on that. But it's just the way it is. I guess I'll get into. But the thing is I've very addictive personality. So I'm probably gonna try very soon, and I won't stop. I'll be I'll be eating sunflower seeds forever ago. So look forward to that the backs of Voight that was great and the funniest part two is out on the flip side of everything you Greg bird striking out in his first three at bats. He has that visual laid laying out for the end of Hearthrow, and he's just the balls behind them, and he's just on the floor. And then the other side voice. Just the hero of of the city is but they did go deep later. Congrats. You hit a solo Homer. Make it seven to two man. Awesome. You're you're the best. They had to make the apologised happy. They had to bring them send them home at something. Now, we'll say did hit the overs. He was kinda hero to some people with that home run good for him though, since then he's done absolutely nothing like zero didn't even play on Saturday knew. I was going game. Just said he wants the analytics team boonies like can't do it hubs is in third row. Can do it. It's probably exactly what happened. Exactly, what happened Tanaka was very good. On opening day. Think he was a year prediction that he said he's gonna be Cy Young candidate right contender? Good star for that. I mean. Yeah. Good star for that. I mean can't you know, I I was gonna say it's the Orioles. But then again, J half made the Orioles, you know, look like the what they are capable team as the rest of the team. So yeah, I mean definitely good start like he he looked a little tick that he came out of the game before the end of the sex. Thank you aren't finished at six ending. But it's early, and you know, or the ozone monster so embed bent for him bad. They do only shrug off three guys. Couldn't get the fourth tough. Is the way that ball moves is ridiculous. I don't know how anyone is ever. Hit a ball. I wholeheartedly believe he was strike out. They Ruth everytime. He. Yeah. He might like I now believe it. He's giving me no reason not to like, he's just incredible. And then it's impersonal Saturday came in for an out got the guy mealy. He he's great. Yeah. I mean, that's he's such a weapon that we're gonna have all year. It's off a lot of lot of gifts. If people just having no idea what they're doing with this bitches, and so far so good Gary behind the plate minus is throws of every of all things for things to be off. Every throw is like tailing into the runner at second. He had like a few ball like three three balls two or three balls. So far this weekend in the feel? Yeah. Yeah. Blocking balls. Great. Just can't go the Flusher hill. When you got a cannon. You got a cat. And I think he'll he'll figure that out. But yeah that is weird. It's almost like he can only be good at one of the two things at a time, and you know, for the rest of his career. It was always good at throwing camp lock the ball. And now, it's which very bizarre ever gonna base on Friday on seeing Friday Thursday. I've got on base even too low a nice little double. I must've felt good for him tool than homered on Saturday opposite field. So good rim. Hasn't been hurt. Making good place guys out the plate. He did pinch today. For Gardner didn't go swell. Didn't get a full swing. It blame for that though. I mean that stuff to come on that. Yeah. I would like one swing in your pin about though instead of two half swings. Yeah. That would have been that would have been ideal. But I mean, I think all things considered pretty pretty solid start to the season firm for sure. Yeah. I mean, three days not hurt. The fact that you've made this far without anything is fantastic. I don't very cool. I couldn't tell. So did you see the close up shot of him Thursday after his double to think he was getting a motion or anything that was just a face? He was making. No that's just as face and asked him f game. And they were like they they estimate like eight times like house a field ahead that double you know, how how good if leaving the home run. And he was just like, yeah. It was fine. Whatever just is stone cold faces. He he tries to be Derek Jeter. And he's just like, yeah. It was cool like good to get. We won the game. It's all a matter. He's literally Derrick jeeter. So in terms of his persona. We've a new segment on the short porch. It's called I made this up texts. Didn't even know what this was going to be called texts from your ex. Today. Three former Yankee starting pitchers pitch today. We're gonna call my access number one was Sonny gray. How do you think the sun man did today? I know he did very very poorly. So I watched the game. 'cause I 'cause we were delayed, and I well, I watch the first few innings when he was in even took the reds Mayes from thirty five felt like, hey got a good lineup been here. He's gonna win the Cy Young. Probably fuck me and face all this. That's a nap. So here's how the game started. Staw? There's a ball immediate out. Then a ball hit back to the first base ball heads of auto sonny's cover. I drop Sibal. So that guys on then a line out to Yasser, which was probably hit one hundred forty miles an hour. Couldn't have been hard hit harder than a single because on the air. I think he went to second or whatever and hit by pitch. So the first of all the hit by pitches. Sunny, grayer, two balls hit over one hundred ten miles an hour and a run. So he has not changed one bit almost like it wasn't the keys that are false room being dead. Yeah. It's almost like having his college pitching. Coach means absolutely nothing. And at it's like, oh, you actually just can't pitch anywhere stink. Sonny's full line was two thirds five hits three runs to earn four walks. No strikeouts and seventy two pitches. Awesome. So they gave him a four year deal. Good for that. Someone pitch today who I didn't even think was alive anymore. Michael Pineda made a start to see that absolutely shocked. He was good. You see his numbers? No. I didn't. He only I guess he's on a pitch. Limit of something unless he got her looking at the box score. But I could very well or you gotta check for pint one another. Four innings forty pitches. One hit one walk five strikeouts. I could see him having a comeback player of the year type season. I always I always liked Pineda. I always thought he should have been away better than he was even back when he was on Seattle. I I liked him a lot. I remember the way wars had his stuff was always fascinating to me as a mand obviously things didn't work out injuries. But he still what he's still pretty young. Like, I I could see him putting together a night season. He. Oh, how old you think? He is. He could be anywhere from thirty six to twenty seven in my mind. Now, I was gonna guess. Thirty. You're correct. Exactly. He's thirty. Although. I remember when in a twenty seventeen right? He was that was last year to twenty sixteen. Twenty seventeen. I. Hearted never sevi- breakout. Your was that's twenty seventeen twenty seventeen. Yeah. He started last. No. Yeah. He had the he got hurt. But there was a period where it was full fought. Who was the ace of the Yankees. It would just go, but go back and forth, every no opinion. That's good Pineda was. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It was very fulsome. Remember, there was I think it was it was twenty fifteen rehab fifteen or sixteen strikeout game against the Orioles was mother's day Sunday afternoon, and he. And he. He is have the ability. No hit you like there was no hit somebody or or give eight in three innings. Our last contestant on text from your ex your best friend your best pal. You guess? I mean, my immediate thought was Sean cone. I know he's out of the league best friend best pal as in sarcastic tone. All right. Let's hear it. Lance lynn. Flint's Lynn fuck, Lance. Lynn, guess what? He did today. He went five and two thirds, which is good for. That's that's good length. Right. Five and two thirds. Good for him. He gave up ten hits and gave up seven runs tough. Yeah. Well, the Rangers. They went eleven to ten but not because of him. We know did he get? No it was tied. They they walked it off like Joey Galloway wild pitch actually watches on the ESPN. Yes. That was texting me actual keep that going. Hopefully and just talk about the shitty pitchers. We used to have. And now they're still shitty on this Michael Pineda's of scien- year. I guess we thought a little salary. Paxton was very good for us. I like him a lot. He's just a cyborg out there. Big big Paxton guy. Did you you said I only saw a little bit in the beginning. So I saw a little bit of packs in and then so how you said if you were in Vegas you'd been streaming the game at the pool party what he did in the ninth inning. We were watching. I have on my phone watching them try to most rally not able to. But I I do not see much Paxton. But from what I did see and just from seeing like, the highlights inbox box stuff did seem very impressed. Yeah. He's just he just a pitcher. He's just a good starting pitcher just going to be reliable guide. Never gonna fuck us. Unless he gets. Well, I was gonna say let's go to Chris now that I feel I feel very comfortable him on the mound. I mean grants. The Baltimore Orioles. But this one two three guesses. John holder was not good in that game. And he was probably left in way too long. So where to go Boone that was cool. They did make that nice run late, but it was too fucking late. But actually started caring about the game. Agassi tool at Homer mayhood, a double even void comes with a single. But and are in her not off to a good start Greenwich through games, but has not looked the best out there. Giancarlo had miserable. At that that that sucked almost a guaranteed to happen. And that's how you lose two three. The Baltimore Orioles. Tough not sees especially after Thursday are so hyped up. Like this team they're hungry from last year. Only one hundred twenty games they're going to win twenty four games going to be easy. He's going to start off, you know, eight and one. What a joke. We were saying what two losses is the minimum for the first nine games. Yeah. We were like seven to anything with Esther. I mean, six three I, you know, isn't the end of the world, but you really wanted to go seventy two after win six on our own out. So now six and three take they they have to mean. The Tigers tiger's any turn six this week. You have to five out of six Tigers of a guy named Turnbull pitching them are who for that Tyson. Ross of the sports action Turnbull. I got score mobile shows Tyson Ross. Okay. Well, whatever I mean, I don't know which ones right doesn't matter. But I think you should they should sweep. I mean, five out of six is what we need this week five six who's the Tuesday pitcher Tanaka Zimmerman. That's. What? Oh, yeah. There was sorry. There was often Friday. I was trying to think how that worked. Yes. Bullpen game on Monday that should be fun with Boone. Sure, he will messed that one up. And it's almost we don't know what to blame anymore. That's the thing. That's what I was going to say it's like. But it's like I also wanna yell at these just faceless nerd sitting in the dugout. I don't know what to call like, maybe we need a new analytics team to sit down there. They should be in the dugout. They should have. They should have a corner in the dugout like just a big comp- like, you know, the computer had on advisors. Yes. You just old computers those? Yeah. Knock out the camera. Well, and that's the analytics corner, and it's just like four guys you went to Harvard just running simulation after simulation. And whatever like a decision goes poorly fans could just tell them with tomatoes. Yeah. All they do is just constantly. They just give thumbs up and thumbs down. The Boone will ask a question. They go. Yes. Right. I don't know who to be mad. I mean like dune I you know, Boone is the easy target. But I get if he's not making decisions, and he also doesn't wanna lose his job. There's wanna stand up to these analytics nerds and tell them what to do. So I don't know. I don't know who to blame but decision making the bullpen decision making has been questionable. Very bizarre. Hopefully, we get out of tomorrow. And he just he just doesn't thing for Chapman. So far good. I will say Canley pitch today didn't go. So well, the start did this thing where he just walked three guys on a road to start the inning. Not the best strategy in the world. David Robinson, love doing that. And then camera woke up the best news of the whole Canley thing though, he's starting ninety miles an hour. So that's that's really what Tommy that's the old Tommy. So we have in back end up Gaddi ending unscathed. It was just who do you need tight rope act. But. Job holder. Not not great Tarpley. Not good everybody else's. Okay. Tigers for three and then in Baltimore, so. Yeah. Five of six should happen. In other news. John sterling missing a game. Did you see this? I saw I mean, I know we joke of us our fault curse. Put can't make this stuff up. Have a guy on thirty goddamn years. He set the miss. I mean, it's not definite. Right. I mean, I think logistically I mean the the game is in the evening early. Granted game is an afternoon. And then at night is the is the thing is the graduation triplets graduation. Yeah. Obviously, he's today off me wanna don't wanna miss it. But there's no issue. There's no other priority. I'm going to my kid's graduation. I think I've earned it any like he he almost missed it a few years ago, but his daughters thing was on an off day. We've been steps the game who's going to do it. That's what I was. Wondering is it will the guess I mean Susan will call a game right now. No Susan's the color the analyst unless they have her do it. But would it be a different job constantly, and maybe Ruko amount of no, you know, owning radio in color, so different. Radio and TV or different. Yeah. But Ruko he did. I mean, I know he did that for them like us able to call right? E I'm sure he he would be able to do it mean. We're available. Yeah. I talk getting what like there's any chance would have. Yeah. John's lay these guys interview those. Yeah. That'd be great. I don't know how it works with like FA N 'cause you know, they're different than the us networks on figured just lend Ryan route go near right, one of its French. That'd be unreal. I've no idea be weirdest health not our fault. It's not a fault. It's not our fault. It's q-quick things. Non Yankee related MLB. Did a good thing in a bad thing this week the incorporated Twitter hitter. I think it's very cool. So basically everyday use is four guys they pick and you vote before the game start whoever wins they show that person's at bats in that game in that game that day on the Twitter feed livestream. You probably the best idea that come come up. It's finally somebody at MLB headquarters took their head of their ass and came up with one good idea. Now, if we could just be able to tweet clips that would really be ideal, but it's a step in the right direction for sure step in the right direction that guy deserved a raise on the foot side. So while they did a really good thing. They countered it with. Maybe the worst idea ever. This is not a joke. This isn't from the onion. This isn't a satire thing. They reward the team that spent the least in arbitration with a WWE heavyweight championship style belt. A real belt give it's what I completely missed. You got see this blog on Friday, basically, they're they're from the onion positive. It was an athletic article. They send over it was the talk of like mean fights were talking about the comments on this block. I did. Seems like it. I didn't do anything though. Oh. Whatever there are none. But it does. Usually it'll say zero finished are whatever it doesn't matter. But there were definitely comment's. Definitely saw the comments. There were comments on that. But anyway. But yeah, they were ward them with a championship belt for for saving the money in arbitration. I think it's. I'm speechless. It's almost like they know they're going to strike, and they're just like fuck it. Let's piss off. Everybody is like, yeah. It's coming. But fuck fuck all the players. It's I I'm like, I'm stunt war site. The worst ever was it supposed to be a secret and it got out fake so thick. So that you can't make that up. It's. That's the worst idea ever made in the history of ideas. The worst. Like, I don't know how this strike is gonna work. I soon they go to some sort of court and figure it out. That's gonna be the quickest decision ever like. Hey, all right. We'll be how do you feel you being treated? What's what's going on here? How you feeling? Yeah. They login. We celebrate being cheap. With a fuck and championship though. Okay. No. It's rule favor. The players and thank you. I think a lot of fans were weird strikes. I think typically fan side with the owners more they think all these players get paid enough. I think in this case with baseball was starting to lean more that fans signed with the players. This definitely is a helps the players case in terms of you know, who the fans are gonna be with. I don't I actually can't believe they're playing baseball right now like that they should've it should've been an immediate strike technically Conan. But I would have that is the biggest slap in the face you can possibly make. Established astonishing couldn't I like literally spent ten minutes making sure it was a real story. I mean, just saw meet on able to process that. Yeah. Absolutely insane. God damn, okay. Do everything else. The show don't think. So. Yeah. All right. Well, winning baseball games. Yeah. I mean and the Red Sox stink. They they're starting pitching. I don't know what they're doing. But we can capitalize any of that. Also, another thing last year is every time it felt like a night the Red Sox off the loss to. Yeah. I mean sale couldn't have looked worse. I'm not I think he'll be fine. And people are always ninety to figure it out. I assume when he signed his big contract extension. They did a full physical. And they figured everything was okay. I I did that. So I think he's he's fine physically. I think you've all these not going to be good this year. I just don't. Fuck that guy this. He's not he's not the Cy Young pitcher that he was then a year. He's me more of the guy. We saw Seattle couple days ago getting shelled. I think he'll be more of how he was with the inky. Yeah. Existent flashes of brilliance together. Right. But other other days like like yesterday. I think it'll be a mix of both. You know, he was fourteen and three with us in her first year with him. I didn't know he's fourteen and three hit a four year. Right fourteen. Yeah. I that. I remember. He was he won a lot. I think crazy around support. Yeah. Then wins the losses. The worst thing. You can judge. I just saw fourteen years. What I would remember that. Yes. It'd be nice to capitalize on that. While they're out in the west coast losing. But of course, the or thing maybe it's a good thing. We Orioles six games start. Because then you don't we don't play them. You know, we're just getting it out of the way or. Yeah. It's like the toughest part like work work hard play will get get through the Orioles. And then finally, you know, hopefully, pick up some wins like ripping abandoned off. That's Orioles those there's fucking nets. So frustrating. A microcosm of this whole weekend. With the Yankees was out a bar Saturday night. And I've since the lead this tweet because I was just embarrassed when I woke up I was like can't believe his real. I mean, we were out with a lot of people actually was dancing with a girl that just never happens like ever. But. It was like, hey, you wanna you wanna get drink take the bar, whatever. She she's like, let's do shots in my head. I'm like, I I actually hate you. I want you to die. So I'm like sure what he want. She was tequila. Casa migos. I'm like, all right. It's classy least you still psychopath. You were shots at the bar. Fuck you unless they're your bombs, my me, and my buddies do we still pretend eighteen years old. But I mean, your shots the bar this point in your twenty five Woody fuck you door. So she's like, oh, you gotta order to more. My friends are coming. Okay. Four kill shots. Friends. Never come. So it's just this fourth Gill shots there. I think I might have audited at one point. Oh, it's tell them to. She goes. No, no. We'll do double. I now I want you actually get hit by a car now. I don't do shots. I. So take one and while she's taking the second one. It poured out for the second one out and like, oh, great. We tequila shots. And then it hits me. Oh, you're actually enthrone everywhere Zik sterile idea because I keep mine. This is like midnight one AM one AM one AM, and I've been drinking to nine at the Anki game. You've been drinking all day. So finally, my body just happy and was like buddy that you can't you shouldn't have done that as terabyte so say sorry dance for got around the bathroom quick definitely not throwing up said in my head and said the her I make it two steps down. I don't know where we were a two steps down. And I go to cough, just throw up like thoughts the worst its worst. And one guy was like what the fuck. I just threw my mouth, basically, it's all over my wrath Arain quarters that is so nice birthday gift for my mom's real nice and went into a stall the throw out the rough run core. Really sad. And the nice corns. Gotta get a new one. And a funny I were turned back to the dance floor, and she was gone funny. How that will? Yeah. Great funny that works. So I'll say I am at a point where I deny shots like me. That's even worse Friday night. We were at this place cat like this nice restaurant. And if you know Brian Axelrod, but he's like been a catch the been the cash there's one of the city. He's like a connection to barstool. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And he knows people at catch. So he had like e said over it wasn't there. But he had told the place to send over shots that guys over person in the world. Oh, yeah. He's he's the guy. That knows the guy. He's the most serious thirty for thirty on him. Yeah. He so he was sending over shots and stuff, and he settled were like eight of us see sends over these eight whiskey shots just said, no my worst ever experienced with drinking was whiskey. So if I even get a whiff of it, I just can't do it. So I had no problems. Be like, no, I have not. I am not doing this right now. I just did not Chris. I'm not a good. Yeah. Whiskey? Anyway, I don't think anything just don't give me a shot bunny beer. You said your what was your bathrooms with Frankie? We I think we may have been drugged on a night because we both. I mean, we were obviously we were at the club or drinking. But you know, I've been drunker before and I've been having stomach problems recently too. So I think it was sort of a mixture of that be a we both just got back to our room Friday. We were like we'd a sweep meet him were sharing a room within it as we had our own bathroom. It was a goddamn mess. He was he was throwing up in the toilet. I'll start up in the sink. I one point didn't make it. So I got a little bit on the corporate. There was some of the bathroom door. It was on the floor. It was a mess. He storing up in the toilet while you're throwing up in the sink at the same time. No it wasn't simultaneous. He would go. He would go and throw up in the toilet. And then like a little bit later. I went was throwing up on the secular. It was tough. What the fuck? I don't know. But and then I was fine. The next morning. Early was totally like was like totally just meet thrown up from drinking because I would have been I think in worse shape, Frankie, either not good. No. He's most pal person ever seen my life. It was concerning. How is he at the pool fine? I mean, just I just hired. We drank a little bit at the pool. But not there was no way. I was going to be able to to do that again and the whole KB thing. What was that like? Kaby is just he's a wild card. He's the definition of wildcard. I mean there were times this weekend. So we're at obviously, the whole thing getting kicked out of the hotel Friday Friday night, we're at Omnia nightclub. We got a table and key was using fallen asleep there. Go sit next to cut a fallen asleep. All of a sudden, I blink my eyes. He's got just gone no idea where he went doesn't come back as well. That's the end of Kate will just never see him again. But it was there Saturday. And then last night we ended up we didn't make it out. But I wake up to a text from TV. That's like you guys out like about and he tells us today. Okay. He just went out his meets goes out. He's just like, it's great. I I've never seen. Someone just meet so many people it just doesn't know and just enjoys life. I mean envy, but he he's a while. But I like, he's a nice guy. That is my worst. Nightmare is like to go out alone and meet people too. It's like the worst the last thing next to take him to to keel shots in a row would be to just go out my own and have a time out have time with myself and other people like I like being alone. I'm saying like going with what are you supposed to do at a bar alone was a meat. He's people. I don't know. Sure is blog on Monday will be very funny. Yeah. But. Yeah. Oh, short porch. People I met on Saturday. Love you guys. That was awesome. Those are cool out you guys setup. We are trying to bounce around the every bar. I never been dug up before they tackled Delon there. I did not know that she. No, this is a Taco Bell dug out. That's like further down. Right. Yeah. There's a Taco Bell like like window like within the within the bar. It's very cool. Billy's was pop and Billy's MS of good fucking time. Stands we got there early time swish. They want. Shiloh bells. I got that for lunch. It was the best sandwiches. Just incredible every time, and that's pretty much it, man. That's all she wrote. We're looking to get a pretty pretty big guest for Thursday's that should be a lot of fun. If we can actually work that out you might be coming into the studio which be so look forward to that. We got the let's let's let's just beat the Tigers commits to win three against the Tigers make everything better five out of six. That's the motto for the week six Essex. Nothing less have that mentality and just fucking kill everybody. Fucking orioles. That's report. We'll see there's a there's a John sterling you've been listening to short porch. Byproduct of barstools.

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