Tricia Huffman on Becoming a Joyologist for Jason Mraz, Finding Fulfillment & Joy, and Letting Go of "I Should"
Thanks to as low for supporting. Don't keep your day job as low as a free business checking account with invoicing bill, paying money transfers, no minimum balance and no fees sign up with no minimum deposit at as low dot com slash, dream job and get a free copy of Oslo small. Business Starter Guide. Hey, guys, it's Cathy Heller. Welcome back to another episode of. Don't keep your day job so I'm really happy about today's conversation because Tricia Huffman is year. And tricia is actually very good friends with Jason, Mraz. And you're going to hear her story of how she got to be doing what she's doing now, which is so fantastic, but she actually started out as a sound engineer and she was touring Jason. mraz and Dolly Parton in Colby Calais. And the story is so special and in celebration. Have what seems to be Jason Mraz. Week here on. Don't keep your day job. Apple was so sweet and featured the episode. If you guys saw that. That, but we're so grateful to apple for all their support and Jason is so awesome and Tricia is an amazing person, and it's just so cool that she and Jason are so linked, and I can't wait for you to hear her story. Because I think that you will find it super inspiring. She's a coach. He's a mentor. She's a speaker writer. A podcast her. She's also known as your joy allergists. That's her instagram handle. And I just love her journey because she created so many possibilities for herself. I've never heard anyone do anything like what she's done. Her real gift is helping. Bring people in alignment with WHO. They WANNA be in the world. Her podcast is called. Claim it with your. where she is conversations with awesome people like Jason with my friend Robin Eucalyptus and I was also a guest on her show. Her podcast is all about exploring the fears and doubts and worries had a move through it all and get out of our own way and claim our life. Our joy are worth at our dreams. TRICIA is also the creator of the own your awesome APP. She's created her own affirmation cards that you should definitely check out. And I think you'll just be blown away by her generosity, and what she's built so without further ado, please welcome. The wonderful Tricia Huffman TRICIA. Thank you so much for making the time to be on the show. I've wanted to do this for years. I feel happy to be here and to now know that you wanted to be my friend for years because I did not know that. Very hard to not want to be your friend and those of you I literally feel like it's Christmas and I just gave you a gift so if you don't follow her, you're going to go. Follow her at your job and you're going to see immediately why everybody loves her instantly I WANNA. Talk about your journey. So can you kind of take us through like the creation of you stepping into this part of who you are? Yeah. I have to go back to being fifteen. I had a lot of undiagnosed pain and problems in problems in Blah Blah and also I was fifteen and I was like. What am I supposed to do? Say Look like be you know I felt like I I remember feeling so much pressure to like. Get it right or to figure out like to stand out, but still like blend in just wanting people to like me like me. and. Everything just felt so hard, and also my parents get along, and my sister would like you know four years older and doing her own thing, so I just felt really lost alone, and then the pain, and then undiagnosed pain of doctors, telling me like it was all my mind and all of that. Didn't help. So. I thought about an in my life a lot honestly. One day, I really had a moment. Where like a breaking point where I just now looking back. It was like you know this choice of like you think about this all the time. If you really like hate your life so much then. Are you going to do it? Or what if I chose to try to live life a different way? And I don't think I. had those words for myself back then, but it was sort of like okay. Just end it. Stop thinking about it or give yourself a chance, so I went with that. I gave myself a chance and I chose to live. And I can now see that I'm getting. Goosebumps now that like that's something that I've been doing ever since that I choose to live into, not just be. In going through the motions of life that like I'm choosing to live my life for myself and that back then and that was a lot of starting to come out with like I'm GonNa. Make my opinion of myself. Be The one that matters the most. I'm going to stop trying to fit in so much. Your make everybody like me in and just speak up and say what feels right to me and. Talk to Beth, even everybody says she's a Nerd, so before I was concerned about if I, talk to her, then does that mean honored? That kind has like stupid stuff that weighs on us like I basically so much physical pain. I had had it with the emotional pain that I'd had been causing myself. So that was the sort of like me. Self Love Journey back then, and it's taken. It's still like an every day right like work. I had those lake innings back then and then believing in myself more than anybody else sort of just again like that was like me. Seeing like I'm the only thing that matters is for me to believe in myself. It does not matter if anybody else. My parents, my friends. My Mentor is my teachers. If they understand me. If they believe in me, it doesn't matter. What matters Eilly myself. Should I really loved him? Use It. But I was not trying to play music or singing music. Well I think I mean. I was in my bedroom, you know. But I I really love live music and I wanted to be without knowing what it was. A live sound engineer I went to concerts, and I would see the person console, and I would be like all my friends would be like dancing and partying and I would just be like so turned into the music like the is too loud. The singers need to be louder immaculate. I didn't know again what that was called. I knew that that's what I wanted to do. But I didn't know what it was called so I found my way ended up. Graduating high school in moving to Chicago and starting at House Blue Chicago in the company store selling t shirts because I wanted to get close to the live music and became friends with the sound engineers and the production. People and I said I think that's what they're doing is what I want to do. And I worked for free. For months quit a job, an office job because I was missing load in and wanted to see what it was, and I put my full south into it. I saw that that's what I wanted to do. I believe in myself. It's not a field for girls. You know being a technician. Especially a sound engineer I was nineteen so I always a young girl so again a lot. Lot of people were like roll their eyes at me. Girl, come check out what we're doing, but I was there working for free more than the people getting paid because that's what wanted to do. I wasn't afraid of looking stupid. was what I wanted to do? But I had no idea what it was, so they'd be like Tricia, going to a boom stand and like I don't. Understand is Tricia Mike. The snare drum. What's a snare drums? So it was like a really like. Again like I believe so much in myself that I had to be okay with looking like an idiot and asking for help constantly showing up. And being like okay with like just again like this is what I want what I want I'm choosing to live. This is my wife, I'm not going. Let all these people tell me that I'm never gonNA. Make it and girls can't do sound and do. Many girls go out on tour as sound engineer like. Maybe they were like four at the time, and at the time I also came across a quote from Eleanor Rosenello no one can make you feel inferior without your consent, so that became like my lifeline. No one can make me feel inferior without my consent. Because everyday people. They came through and. Even, though I've had family there then, they wanted to judge me. You're not going to be good enough. You'RE NOT GONNA. Be Good enough. No one can make me feel inferior without my consent, so eventually that turned into I, was touring with Grammy Award winning artists around the world I toured with Dolly Parton as sound engineer it was. Big Deal. And very, few women have had done it to the level that I had, and it's a lot of daily self work. Because I was scared out of my mind like every day. But what that also then dot me to see is I was living at my biggest dream. I had become a live sound. Touring the world staying in Ritz, Carlton's. Being paid to fly the world and travel with these people and hang out with these amazing icons I was living the freaking drink my frigging. And then these people. That were singing their songs that thousands of people around the world showed up for them. You know they even had amazing like relationships. They had it all they literally what we think of as having it all they had all, and yet I could see them not feeling fulfilled enough worthy having doubts having years. They were dealing with the same. You know stuff. But I was and so that was like an awakening of like here, I am and I was also taking very good care of myself because I was eventually diagnosed with fiber myalgia. which you know like that can just be a term. They give to people I. Don't know I don't even know, but so I had certain are also really taken care of myself. I tour with a juicer. I started doing yoga off the bus, and so and I also saw like being on tour is not conducive to like. Being healthy being inspired being grounded like you're in a different place. They're working nonstop, so I was seeing that and then when my father was. Found dead in his car one day and That was the moment that like stopped everything where? I didn't know what to do, so I was supposed to be getting on a plane to Australia last day instead I went home for the funeral, and then went straight to Australia tour, and I was a mass for a couple of weeks, and then I finally just like I kept looking around, and seeing people ever I went, that looked unhappy and unfulfilled, and just like they're walking through the motions of life, but not my God alive, and that was like I. Don't know. Know what I'M GONNA. Do with my life, but I know I have to stop doing sound and I have to do something more like i. want to shake grab everybody that I'm passing on the street and shake them and be like what are you doing? You could die tomorrow. Live your life. Like what are you worrying about like? Just live your life like I just wanted to shake people, and so that was the start of the creation of what I am doing today. But I didn't know I didn't know what I was going to do I just knew I had to quit, and I didn't have any money in the bank I was supposed to be on tour that entire year and I had been. That was my life like I had already been like in that. World found even know how long so I just stopped, and I like went and. took the year off, and like I eliminated the words should from my life. That was I didn't know what I was going to do. But that in that got me to then ask myself every day what I want. Instead of what should I do today? What do I want to do today like I knew I wanted to make the. Difference in the world, but I didn't know how, and so that was the big shift for me, and then I ended up just taking it back on the world that I knew so I ended up going back on tour as a joy allergist. And being the person that grounded the artist empower them lifted them up. Also be like if they were in a bad mood, then I opened the dressing room door. Hi, what's going on? What are you feeling? What are you going to do about it? 'CAUSE also I think people in any sort of power whether they're an artist. Boss were afraid to ask them. What's going on and what they're GONNA? Do just like everybody would rather walk around on tip toes and have the uncomfortable conversation, but that doesn't help anybody. So I did that. I had a lot uncomfortable conversations with lifting up ground him down. I also then became renamed Jason. Mraz also gave me the title of his manager of Integrity. Could be the person that was all so then like because that it is, there's a lot of when you in that like there's so many opinions being projected out you so then being like what are you doing? Why are you doing? How does that feel to you? Do you like that actually serves you and your mission, or is that what you're labels telling you to do? Is that what you're management once you. You do your exhausted all the time from touring. Have you ever thought of saying I don't WanNa tour like that could still tour, but maybe you'd be created different schedule for yourself, so that sort of thing being an advocate for these people in like giving them the space to think about things differently and coming back to where you do it. Why how does that feel for you? It's such an incredible story and It's only the first you know part of it. A lot of times people age don't give themselves permission to even say what do I want be? We don't give ourselves permission to think that we have the right to pursue it. And then the bigger thing is, we don't commit. To doing what it's GonNa, take because we want an immediate Roi. If we'RE NOT GONNA. Do anything unless unless we know, we won't look stupid. We're not going to ask what the center drum is, and we're talking. That's spend eighteen months interning or two years on the road until we know for certain, and you did all of those things you weathered all of that, and then it's just under brought you into this place like of course like it rose to the top. She's the one who's here. She's the one who cares and you've got good at it and people like you, and then you notice this really powerful thing, which is like. Oh my gosh. These people who have everything and like they're having a human experience. So what's going on like? They're not fulfilled like they're not feeling and the fact that you noticed that is huge, and then what did happen to your dad? So Ariza's freezing snowstorm that night, so what they think happened was that he slipped and hit his head got ahead because he was found dead in his car with ahead. WHO's you or whatever it so much? And then you somehow were able to breathe in and out during that, and then not only were you breathing in and out, but you started to use that as fuel. To crack open and shed everything that wasn't working and up level once again and then you just you talk a little bit about how how this insight what you wanted to do, and then you went back on the road is. Joy. ALLERGIST is like no, I Know. How the heck did you do that? What does that mean that you didn't question yourself that you could be like? This is the thing and this is. WHAT IS GONNA? Look like and this is what I'm going to do with these people and I have the confidence in myself to just say this is what I'm doing. Yeah so I didn't know like I said I. Just knew I can't keep doing sound. I felt like I had to do more with my life I had no idea what I was going to do, so I like Dad. Quit My. Dream job. It was also with my dream. Tour and then I ended up doing a yoga teacher training because I was like one else will ever be like. I had already done yoga for many years I. Don't know if I want to be a yoga teacher, but like okay. What else will have this experience to have this time? I really into like cooking, healing food and I just was doing all the things that spoke to me. Read all the personal development books, and whatever like really it was like A. Self study year, but I again I kept knowing I wanted to do more and I didn't know what it looked like, and then it did start to visualize as I. You know again because that was the world I knew I knew live production touring world, and I loved it I. Loved that world so much and I still do so to me. That was like where. Where my mind went, and again because I had seen them being unfulfilled, so I started to visualize yeah, touring bike stocks, it's amazing, but it's rough in the dressing rooms are roles in the food is usually terrible, and so I started to like see these ways that I can make that experience better in that I could nurture and empower the artists to then make. Their voices shine louder and it wasn't about me. It was like all right. These people already out there making differences. So how can I support them? Even more than maybe that will support the people in taking. Their music. Like, Jason. But I didn't know house new already visualized that in my mind, and then what had happened was Jason Raza's production manager. who was someone I had worked with for many years was like Hey, tricia? We. Know that you are done with sound. You don't WanNa. Do sound anymore, but we really miss you on the road, and this year's going to be really big year. We are GONNA add a production assistant to the tour. Would you consider coming back out as a production assistant? So he that was like him making a stretch because for me being. That sound engineer. Production Assistance Work Hard, and I value them very much, but that was sort of like taking a step backwards. Pay Level is well. You know and I was like. This is my in and I said to him. Because I had already had visualization on the phone call before that so I was like. Yes, I am going to come back out the production assistant, but this is what I'm going to do. I'm going to do the job of the production assistant, but also going to make the dressing room nicer. I'm going to be putting formations up everywhere. I'M GONNA lead daily Yoga classes I'm going to be offering like. Bring my like juicer, and by the mix out and I'm going to be like trying to make healthier options. I'M GONNA come out as a production assistant, but I'm with the intention that I'm creating a new role for myself. And that's what happened, so I went out on tour God. That's so awesome. Reduction stint job. Put up the signs. Did that stuff and then also started doing these things. Within two weeks Jason said. I don't know what Tricia is doing, but I just want her to do that. Because I, also was putting affirmations up in the bathroom on the stage again I create a disposition, had for myself, and just started doing it without being paid for it, so I was let me open the door. Let me talk to you. Let's everybody let me talk to everybody on. If I saw somebody upset or not feeling about that I created the rule, I wanted and started doing it without it being a thing. And the results showed up so within two weeks. They hired in production assistant. That production manager said okay so Tristesse, the joy Allah gist that was where the title came from. At Stock? Then they built me a road case kitchen. I had my own dressing room in every venue. From then on out I have my own Ryder. I then really did create this role, and then when that tour ended, and after I rested and recovered. For a time, then had this sent out all my contacts. This is the position on tour. This is why you need me. In Kobe hired me next so I went out and made up a thing I just showed up and did it. It worked, and then I was like people. This is what I do for you. You need me. On was that scary and hard and. This is one of the most amazing stories I've ever heard I am completely blown away by your generosity and your confidence. And your intention, and what's interesting for me? Personally is that colby was on our show. And, most of the conversation was about how much anxiety she had on tour and little did I know. She was talking about you, but she. Basically we had this whole conversation about how if it wasn't for the people who she wound up bringing with her on tour, she never would have made it through. Like! That's amazing what you've done. So what happened? So you did how many tours until you decided to build your own platform? Yes, so when I became the role of joy allergist it also what happened is that was back in the times of twitter and Jason's management really wanted him to be on twitter, and not for them to be running it, so he delegated twitter to me, and so his twitter account used to say Jason Res- official. Twitter account run by his geologist TRICIA. WHO's by his side at all times except in bed or something like that? And I was not going to tweet as him or taken over so what I did. Then we start to tweet the quote of the day I was putting out the affirmation of the day, and we'll do lenses of backstage, and also like here's the green smoothie Jason's drinking, all of that stuff so then, but I was like Oh, twitter, and then when the tour was over of like kind of like twitter, so I started amount, twitter account, and then I in in continued, and so that sort of like started, and then I started writing a blog. And then you know went back on tour, so a lot of my life had been. You go out on tour and it could be for like nine months at a time, and then I like because I always wanted make sure I was taking care of myself and enjoying my life, and I would not. Let. Go tribe on my own or decompress for a couple of months in those bursts, and it came to like oh I build a website. Oh, I have all these information whatever only the Webinar like I never knew what I was doing. People do webinars. Okay, let me figure that out so I would like just do things. Could coach people like while I'm not on tour for a couple of months and then like with coach someone and they'll be like. Oh, going back onto. So I would keep going back and forth for years so I'd have. Do Blogs created this whatever I think. Two thousand twelve was the last year that toward so you know it started with me accepting a job that I didn't want with the intention of creating something else and taking away lower pay and everything like that the end the last job I had I had a contract that included benefits. A year salary like I negotiated for myself, which is again with scary because they could have just said never mind we. We, don't WanNa bring this person because I also had seen people be like Oh. Yeah, I need, you never mind I. don't and stuff like that like gone through that of like because of what the budget of the Horlick's later. How they're feeling in themselves, so I was just like. If you want me to go back on tour and then stop this part of my life, then like I'm going to need a year long salary and I'm going to need benefits and I'm GonNa. Need this like it turned into me. Negotiating my worth, which was serious. And so then by the end of that I was like toast, because I had been on tour for like a year and a half or two years straight, but that was I felt like at that time. I didn't wanNA torn because I wasn't a relationship where I saw it I had always wanted to be a mom, and I was like pretty sure this is the the one, so it was choosing to leave tour to create something for myself that I could do without touring. Because most of my income had always been on tour like I said somewhat done coaching in this and that, but it was like barrier erotic, so I was like I, got us. Eventually I'm going to have to stop and build something else for myself. That sustainable while I can be a mom and I ate it because I love touring so that first six months of like seeing everybody starts to go on tour again and stuff and then omega. Did. I make the wrong choice. 'cause I loved it so much amazing. How at the right choice? Yeah so then that led to like starting the the first thing that after that was like creating my affirmation to act of own. You're awesome in. That was like the first thing I'm going to product. Line, Creating Group coaching programs and one on one programs, and yes, now at the digital daily inspiration APP and. Reading a book now. I had to give myself space to look at the bigger picture of like the bigger impact, and like if I want to be a mom, I can't keep torturing and do this and I also wanted to be able to reach more people. It's incredible. I can't believe how many times when there's sort of a a turn in the maze, and you just recreate yourself all over again every single time. You're on this mystical scavenger hunt. And you'll just be like wait. What's that next little clue? Great, let me just do that. That's what I mean that there's a part of you. That feels like it's connected to something. Because most people can't do it unless they can see it. And everything in your story is like and then I had this like there was like a clue, so I was like. Let me just see where that leads. And I opened that door, and that door leads to this story, then that is this you know there's just keeps going. What's the thing that you really want to say? What's the thing that you really want them to know? I think the thing that the most that I most want them to know in. This was one of the podcast now. I. Keep Coming back to is like it's up. To us so often. We're I think we're just programmed to be like Oh once I do this. I'll feel enough once I have this once. I'm this weight enough. Worthy successful fulfilled happy lovable, whatever it is, that were program to look for it outside of ourselves, and that that is that it's you have to claim it for yourself every single day like I have doing it, so it's it's hard so every day I'm like. This is an I'm not enough. Struggle Okay Tricia like comeback back to like. Oh, I'm aware what I'm worried about what people we're going to think if I say this if I do this if I dare to believe in myself if I tell my story if I would ever it is, and then it's like, but what do I have to keep coming back to what do I believe about myself like that thing that I got when I was fifteen like I have to make what I believe about myself to be the most important thing and coming back to that we can get so caught up in what will other people think of us? But those are really just our own judgments of ourselves, so like the constantly seeing. It's up to you to claim your worth to claim that you are enough claim that you're lovable like you. I've seen it. You can have the most love in the world. Instill, not be accepting of that love. Right and you can like. Somebody can give you the big acknowledgement compliment ever and I remember like always wanting like i. want to be seen. Please me and thank you Kathy so much for seeing me in everything you've been saying it's like so much to me. But again like for me to actually fully absorb that I have to be able to see it within myself. So I want being knowledge all the time I. Want People to see me, but the real work is constantly reminding myself to see myself. Myself to see my worth, but my value, my enough because that's where it comes from. That's what's allowed me to see these little glimmers on things and make them be real. It's huge, and it really is everything and we had Byron Katie on the show and it's. She's very threatening to some people because she's basically telling you that you're creating your own suffering. Because it's an illusion that it's coming from anything outside of the narrative that you're believing in telling yourself. People really have a hard time with that because. Void. We Really WanNA. Make it about our husband. Would we really WANNA make it about our boss or do we really WanNa? Make it about what someone isn't giving us. And I forget that too, and it's fascinating that you're saying like. We. Get to decide every day. We get to choose it. And then a so much to do with how we receive. What's coming in? Is that the consistent thing that you saw? And that you see working with people is that they don't give that to them, self. Yeah I. That's again in a union and you mentioned earlier let. That I've able to do this. Because of the work that I have done and continue every day to on myself, and that's what I have. Figured out boils down to. Is that like why I was able to work? With? The biggest people are different things in relate to them that empathy and compassion because I now I'm also aware of what's happening in my own mind, and instead of blaming myself and beating myself up for it. I'm like Oh that's like the human. Experience and we all have that, and so of course we have different life stories in different challenges and different hardships. But like within our minds, it's so similar this like daily fight in so just being able to see that in in people and I think I've always been able to see multiple sides of every story in this to just like. Yeah, it's like. Not Knowing, of course, anybody's like personal experience because I don't think anybody can, but just like having that compassion for the human. That we all have an allowing them to see that within themselves. It's incredible, and as far as you know, it's interesting what you were talking about earlier because I used to say you know that the opposite of depression is not happiness. It's a sense of purpose, but what I found out which is really sneaky. Is that purpose really helps a lot? But it's also not the end of it like I feel a tremendous amount of purpose in my life I feel like my work is not a job. It's a gift. It's a mission I love it I love being a mother. A loving friend is a Lotta purpose in my world, and I still have a lot of run INS with feeling deeply sad and deeply anxious. And so when you talk about seeing these beautiful souls on tour, who've created so much purpose, right? Their work is not just hype. There's something meaningful in the songs. They sing in the work that they've created and yet they're still something's missing. So, that begs the question, so what is that Ben if it's not purpose, what is the thing that makes us feel fulfilled felt. The first thing I was just going to say was ourselves like I. Don't have a word or like it action how we treat ourselves. Would you say how we take care of ourselves? How we look at the world? How we changed the way we think yeah, yeah, I mean, and it's just again because it's going to be though it's like the getting that not like I got it. Did it did the work on? You know like that. It's like it is. It's a daily thing and sometimes a moment to moment thing because it's not even you know I used to always make sure to be like you know you never know what life's GonNa throw at us in sort of like in a struggle format. But what I can also see when we get the things that we really want Oh, I met the man of my dreams or the woman of my dreams I got the kids I got the job I got the book deal I got promotion. Then all of its come back like flashes back so it's just constantly. I mean that that quote I mentioned at the beginning. No one can make you feel inferior with yourself. What that ended up shaped me to believe? No one can make me feel anything without my consent. No one can make me feel joy. No one can make me feel loved. No one can make me feel appreciated. Nobody can make me feel enough fulfilled without my consent. It's me consenting to that every frigging moment. So it's constant work, and so you just get more conscious love that and be like Oh. It's me I'm what's The missing? Key Me me acknowledging it my approval me. Consenting I'm so filled today. He didn't do anything on my list. How necessary is what you say every day? But especially this year when there's so much going on, and you can say Oh my God look at all these circumstances. Circumstances, I now miserable and I have, and that's it period. This is where I stay now. I stay miserable because of all of these things that is defeating place to be and what you're saying is so right on. It's so right on my grandmother used to say life. It's timbers. What happens is ninety percent. How you react to it right? It's your choice. It's what you how you perceive it. But we don't spend that time. Yeah, I WANNA share it. You just made me think of like this thing I like narrowed it down to last year, because one of my like key phrases for years, my product line was the only judge of me. Is Me meaning like we spent so much time? Worry about what other people will think that I. Realize a judgment can only really have power over you if it's something, you believe to be true about yourself, so we're so afraid of what people may or may not be judging us for when most of it like. Yes, of course, people will say things you. They're actually judging you. You, but again you get that choice. Do I believe this to be true? Even though that sucks and can hurt then you allows you to lift it off, but most of the stuff is just in our own minds. That's holding back that. What will people think so? Then you get to see, but what do I, think. Do I believe this to be true? If I say this, people are GonNa think this is that what I believe by wear this or whatever if I declare, I'm of this? If I call myself a just whatever people going to think, what do I think about bad to constantly bring it back to you. It's so juicy and it's so true that things that we can't triggered by. It's because of what we corroborate on. That's really powerful. Okay I have a lot more I. 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Wouldn't it be cool if I could help? People figure out how to do what they love. Before you even can teach people. The steps. One of the things that people struggle with is like I. don't even know what makes thing is okay now when they say I, don't know. It's usually because they're believing one of two lies, which is I? Do Know But I. Don't think I'm worthy of it. Or I do know, but there's no way it's possible. So, really I'm just GONNA. Tell myself I don't know and I really think I don't know. Or I have three things I could do and just stay stuck because I. Just don't know what's really to me. Is like fear of like choosing the wrong thing or making a fool of yourself or whatever? What is your answer? If someone's like I would love to be fulfilled. I would love to be working somewhere that I feel passionate about her helping a cause or making an impact in the world. They're feeling aligned with myself, but I have no idea what that thing is. How do I figure it out? That's the biggest question I get. Yeah I totally believe. With the with the reasons you name to, and like yeah, I have my own drought discourse, and that's one of the things like some people just don't even allow themselves the permission to dream into what is possible because they are like so stuck on will that will never happened. About I will never be able to make that happen, or that will never be worth, so they don't even allow themselves to like dream about the possibility, which also plays into like the fear of failure. You know it's like there really is no fee. If you go back to my thing like the fear of being judged, really is no fear of failure. Because why would you the only reason you're? Fear of failing is because what would other people think about you? So. Really, it's all. Come back to what you would you think about you like? There's no such thing as failure when you come into realizing like the fear of failure is still what will other people think about me if nobody knew you failed like who cares, it's you. It's your own judgments again. So that seeing. Okay, believe myself. Yeah for me in this is I brought it up earlier which that was what got me into creating the position that became the joy allergist was eliminating. The word should was huge for me. And that's what I'm writing my first book about in so like just paying attention. We're so programmed into should. By that I feel like we're constantly unconsciously. Giving all over life choices away were outsourcing all our life choices, so we are never causing to even imagine what do I want. How does this make me feel so I? Eliminated that word the year my father died, which was two thousand eight, and the only word that I found fit was want so then every time should comes up. Switch it out with one, and just you'll be amazed of what starts to show for you and your life. Trying to think about what you WanNa, do with your life, but just oh, what should I eat today? What do I WANNA eat today? Which I do with you know the night now that the kids are asleep. What do I WANNA do like you're constantly giving yourself this space of possibility and bringing it. Act Yourself instead of looking outside of yourself. That's one of the most mic drop things I've ever heard. We outsource these decisions. What a powerful thing to really get! It's so true. And we're. It's so in our blind spot. It's amazing what you just said. Yeah, it's on one word paying attention to it, and it really makes you face yourself all day long in see, it's one word. It makes you see like why again like if you're like Oh, I should do this. Oh No, but the one. What's making me feel like I can't do what I want like. It's just one word to focus on, and it makes you face yourself and get in touch with yourself. Get in touch with your intuition. What's motivating your choices? It can cut out procrastination even like Oh. I should really answer these emails. Why would I WANNA? Answer these emails because then? I will like won't feel about weight anymore, and then I can get onto the next thing because I really do want to show up as somebody. Who's you know in communication? Whatever all right? If I wanted to those emails, but it's like that's my game. Changers secret for so many things in life brilliant. The next thing that comes up and you already hinted at it. But when you think it's not possible, you shut down the I want you know it doesn't matter what I want because I already decided. It's not possible so the biggest reason I find that people don't think something's possibles because they have imposter syndrome, so it's not possible because I'm not good. Enough I'm not worthy of it, so I see people struggle with starting. With making things that are mediocre, because I can't do it, unless I'm going to be Mozart the first time, and if I'm not, it just reinforces that I'm not good enough. So how do you help people on that road? To. Becoming and living the life they want when they believe they're not worthy, and then they have to sort of. Start where they are right and they have to be imperfect. So this impostor syndrome thing. How do we get through that? So with should switching to one thing does help me so much because again then I. It's making me see of like. Why do I WANNA do this. It also sees the motivation of even like. Why do I WANNA make this thing? Why do I want to create this service? You know even though these people are doing it because i. feel like called to wake people up in my language because I can feel it with me so like again. Tuning into that is allowing you to ask yourself. Why do you WanNa? Do it like what's motivating you. And so that can help me get out of my own way and do things in clients the same thing to be aligned with Wi whether they want to do it, and then with part of the narration is sort of like. How would it make me feel to do that? You know like in I always just even focused on like one person still like I'm GonNa. If I make this post in one person says, thank you so much I needed it then like VAT feels like worthwhile that it's not that I of course I. WanNa have a huge following of course I want people to like. Listen to my words and stuff like that, but I always have to. To come back to like. If there's one person out there right now, that could feel something from me sharing for me putting something out there from my affirmation debt from this product, whatever then that feels good in it because it's the the feeling of doing, it makes me come more alive me connected to myself me connected. My purpose like enough course doesn't mean all the other people that might be doing. Something similar aren't worthy are amazing in the beyond say they're out there and stuff like that, but it's just like allowing yourself to believe in yourself again, and and also like coming back to even like choose to live, and so what makes you come alive and? Most people can struggle with. It's being like me. What about me or I'm doing? This is already enough. People bring it so I am saying it is all about you. But then there's also this thing of like what's motivating me like. I mean I created a career and I'm like hey, everybody listening to me I have so many important things to say. But again, it's all been motivated by like wanting other people to wake up, so it's a different, you know it's a thing of like coming back to like sure this about me. Creating something mead building, something whatever it is that you're out there, struggling with putting out into the world, but what is the impact that can have on one person? Why do you want to do best so good? I love this idea of looking at it like you know, it's not relevant. What other people are doing I? Feel called to do it even if one person you know. I feel called to hope so. I'm GONNA Trust that. It's interesting because. The word. gised remember when I first saw it I was like. That's like a threatening thing. Shot feels unattainable. Right. And we just get so used to days that don't have joy. And months that don't have joy and when Martha back was on my podcast, she talked about her book called the Joy Diet. And she said these are the things you need to do every day you know, spend fifteen minutes doing nothing. Listen to some music by yourself a bouquet of flowers just because they should all these diet you know, of course not about food, but for your own joy. And she said people were amazed at everything she would say and she was like. I'm not saying anything novel other than. How could you go to sleep at night? Put your head on the pillow and not have done something that brought you joy today, and if you did that's a productive day. That was a day well spent. The joy is enough of an excuse for being. And I think that we are not working toward it as much as we're working towards achievement, I think that people are wired to I'll be loved if I perform. Do a good job. And then we miss decades of our life. And there's no joy, and what the Hell is that? And how can you help us understand how we can release the shame? And let so do the thing in the middle of the day. Just because it feels good, not because it's productive, not because it furthers our bottom line or even serves our neighbor just because it literally makes us feel happy and alive. How is that so? Divorced from who we are. Totally get that and not even like I. fumbled into being an entrepreneur online business owner in most of the people that I had followed. It seems such like work work. Work strives drive in Oslo like. What I'm GonNa like stop working now because I gotTa, do this thing and I. Honestly I think that was. A blessing, fiber, Myalgia and chronic pain is that it at has training to me that I have to take care of myself and prioritize myself even when it feels leg, but I have these things these deadlines in these goals or whatever? So. Kate north of read her do less. Unlike thank you someone for talking us because that was the way it is. Always lived. That was programmed into me the like because of my body, and and seeing though firsthand that. I'm not good for anybody if I'm not taking care of myself and making space for joy, the thing to get Austin again. We are so like I can't do this for myself. It's selfish or I'm doing this thing I'm working on this groundbreaking, so I have to keep working on it. Whatever it is is that if you can't think about like I'm worthy of joy, and this is going to help me think about how you're affecting everybody else in your life. So you've pause you go, do something you take the rest of the day off and do something that's good for you. How does that shift your energy year more present? You're more alive. Alive you're more gracious grateful, and so you're showing up to everybody in your world that way your kids, your neighbors, the people in line at the store whatever they get this version of you, that is now like expanding and alive and awake enjoy filled, not the version of you that has been slaving over your computer, giving to everybody else this that is like a shell of a human, and is like whatever, so it's like back for me I think is a good way to look at it because we can feel like I'm not allowed to have joy I'm not allowed to two things. Take care of myself. I'm not allowed to prioritize my own. Needs Joy, whatever will think of that how you're showing up in the world for everyone else then if you can't think about it for you, how are you showing up for other people? What what you just said that to me is the fact should be the political conversation because. It's actually so selfish. To be depleting yourself and think that's not going to ripple. Around right and instead we're so worried about what's happening on the other side of the world. Like what about yourself like? You're on fire like you're literally burning and we're so wired exactly what you just said. That's not true that selfish right and it's not. It's the opposite yourself. Realization is the greatest gift you give others right? It reverberates and so important. The work that you do is so important. You guys I told you. There's a reason I. Love Her. She's a gift are a gifts and special to tell us where we can follow and Buy Your Products Enjoy your coaching. Listen to the claim it with your. Podcast, tell where we can find all your stuff. Yeah, I'm most active on Instagram at your. Just your shop, also there. My website is your drought dot Com Youtube, everything's your joy, allies, Youtube, channel, everything, and also the daily inspiration APP. That's called own your awesome. Deck of cards, but yeah, so in the APP store Google play an apple APP store owner. Awesome. It's hundreds of powerful thoughts and affirmations you can set a daily reminder time to get a card or come into any day, and it's only three ninety nine and I. Add cards to it all the time. No other fees, so it's totally worth it and you can get it to. Other people do which is like the coolest gift I think. They're so awesome. There beautiful ear, really extraordinary a can't be said enough, and it's amazing that you walk around in. You look like a normal person, but that's all these things. Come out of you. It's really inspiring, you guys. If you WANNA. Get a gift for someone. She did not tell me to say this but I just thought to say it in this moment that we're living in. Were there so much pain? I promise if you went to the products that she has an you. Send a friend of yours. Any of those things including that deck. Guarantee you. You will change somebody's life. Today couldn't be a better thing in this moment, Tricia, you're the best. Thank you very very much for being you. Know my Gosh I could seriously talk with tricia hours nonstop. She's amazing here. Are The takeaways number one? Give yourself a chance choose to live. Do It makes you come alive number two? No one can make you feel inferior without your consent number three. Don't outsource your life. Choices eliminate the word should and replace it with one, and before you have to claim your worth. You have to know that you're enough that you're lovable. It's up to you number five year. Approval is the biggest key to making you feel fulfilled number six. A judgment can only have power over you. If it's something you believe to be true about yourself. The only judge of you is you. A number seven. If there's one person who can feel something from you sharing your gifts, then that's enough all right now. Let's celebrate your winds. Rebecca posted in our facebook group in. She said I had a serious today. I did my first stained glass class for the year, and it went amazing. It's sold out if I could just do one sold out class a week. I could quit my day job. I'm so pumped. Also contacted this week to get started on a custom window. Rebecca that so awesome. I'm really proud of you for one. You had the courage to offer your class, and you put it out there into your selling out all these spots. That's amazing. I'm so excited for you and I. WanNa see how this is going to go, so please let us know how it all unfolds. You guys can go give Rebecca some love. Her instagram is at Rebecca's nerd glass. Nine, one eight all right? Here's the next one. Jamie said I was finally able to launch my online dog training. Course on I'm so excited I. I spent so much time making it perfect, and it's finally out there in the world for everyone to see keeping my fingers crossed. It takes off Jamie. I'm so happy for you. I know this will be so helpful for voters especially right now if they're not able to take their pets to dog training in person I love that you're trying to fill this need and that you gave yourself permission to finally hit. Publish and get this out there. If any of you listening has a dog that could use some behavior adjustments than go check out. Out Her awesome course training with Jamie, J., A. M. I. Dot Com and give her your support. Thank you guys so much for listening to this show. I know that there is a zillion things you could be doing right now, and it does mean the world to me. It really does that. You're here and that you're listening so I promise I'm GonNa, keep putting out really awesome episodes for you. If you're not subscribe already, it's free to subscribe. Please go ahead and subscribe on Apple podcasts or wherever you listen, you can get more fun episodes. Episodes in I'm actually doing a really fun giveaway this week of some Jason Mraz goodies. So if you come to my instagram at Kathy Dot Heller, you'll see a couple of posts where I talk about how to enter the giveaway. All you have to do like the post Tagore friend, and subscribe to the PODCAST, and I'll pick three winners and send you some really fun packages. If this episode inspired you, please share it with somebody. Because maybe it would inspire them to a league. Is The song of mine and I'll talk to you Monday. Many Times. So many times. Saying I needed to scare. News. Now. Game! Live. This. Says I can't answer. That I'm alive. I'm assuming. The courage. You. Got The heart of. So Strang. As. Much. Ha Ha.