They Called This a Movie Episode 39 - Invasion U.S.A. (1985)

Automatic TRANSCRIPT

no-one thoughts it could ever happen here. They are army international terrorists. America has not been invaded Hannity into their target America their objective control eighteen hours from now medica would be different glass. Now only one thing stand in their way. It's time to die then work now. Will they wanted a war Zia now gave them one city a Postcard Chuck Norris Invasion U._S._A.. Welcome today call this movie testing the strike the friendships one terrible movie at a time subscribe the podcast on itunes another podcast services by searching they call this movie part of the maiming network to find more from US check out the website the main aim dot com or on twitter facebook and instagram at the main Namie. We're also now proud member Geek Vibes nation. I and you can find them at J._V.. NATION DOT COM welcome back to the they call this movie. I am Anthony Delvecchio with me as always is Dan Acquino and Mark Meyer say Hello Gentlemen Hi. How's it going is? Hello <hes> just sitting here watching this movie going. Were helicopters a big thing in the early eighties or is it just because I love the show Air Wolf that I make that connection helicopters are always big yeah margin. They're China's science. Their science makes no sense. It's wonderful miracle of modern modern technology about it. Yeah I just gotTA chocolate like magnet. STU also real quick. I WANNA give a shout out to a <hes>. A related to shoutouts allowed this one time I guess because day at work one of my co workers was watching this film with me and and he already knows now that you know when I'm watching something for this podcast so he goes always for your podcast. I said Yeah and he was so where do you post these. I said Yeah we're on itunes and he he lost. I is minding like no way is so cool. You actually do that so <hes> he subscribed to us these downloading he's listening. He'll listen to this so I just want to say thank you to Brock for listening what up rock yeah so so I hope he enjoys it all right well. Welcome to they call this movie brock. This week is jumping a little bit of head of the holiday weekend. It is for the weekend in coming up <hes> so we decided to get America all over. Everybody's ass we <hes> we decided to go with a little chuck Norris movies by the name of Invasion U._S._A.. From nineteen eighty five darker by Joseph Zito Oh <hes> guys what is your opinion before going into this movie of one Mr Chuck Norris or what are you know of him. What have you seen any of his movies? I'm glad you brought a question up because up until until this point I had never watched a Chuck Norris Film and I've seen movies with him in it. You know the expendable Z- <hes> was entered the Dragon. I think he was in believes up yeah. That's that's a real good fight scene yes so I've seen movies with him in it but never one of them starring and I and I think in our last podcast I even mentioned like Oh. It's about time <hes> Chuck Norris made an appearance angrily starting to regret that I'm kinda hoping he just would stay away from they called this movie <hes> and I was expecting this to be a good performance and a lot of action and and I got a terrible performance and just some like there's action obviously but I was just real disappointed. Yeah sounds like someone that never watched Walker Texas Ranger. Here's another thing that mark has seen a ton of yes. I know I've actually never watched Walker Texas Ranger. I have watched Walker Texas ranger care to admit but wait for that way when Conan was doing his joke thing there were times. I recognize the scenes yeah. That's my own. That's my only acknowledgement of Chuck. Norris is when the when Conan had the Chuck Norris <hes> Lever <hes> so or the Walker Texas ranger lever so that that's all my experience with Chuck Norris besides like his dodgeball cameo grant he is void of anything considered charisma isn't he yeah it's super bland watching paint dry and that's why his most famous scene and probably best performances that fight scene in entered a dragon because he doesn't say anything for you know yeah I'll send being bad asset martial arts jer and I'll tell him I'll take everybody's word for it that he is great <unk> martial arts. We really don't see it in this movie very brief lashes but he really isn't showed off at all can I can. I point out one thing I've noticed this guy. Aid Time has actually helped him in a way because he looks in this movie. He looks so weird to me. I don't know why et now vanilla because he's like eighty. He looks normal right. I maybe it just adds to the Chuck Norris Mystique sure I would go back and even look at movies from the seventies because that that theory holds up even and further because he's a weird looking dude in the seventies he really is. I was trying to pinpoint who he looked like. I couldn't pinpoint but he just his face looks like it goes on for miles uh-huh yeah <hes> Chuck Norris <hes> it's kind of this yeah. This movie sucks it so it's a canon movie which is infamous cannon productions for are these kinds of real dis- churning out movies that are explosions boobs although lacking in this movie <hes> they're they're they're. They're they're very briefly and like they picked up the death wish series after move after the first two I believe started three four and five <hes> they did break in and break into electric Bogu as well as a bunch of Chuck Norris Movies <hes> their model of movies movies will <hes> would be they would <hes> they'd get alone to Fi- to finance one movie and then they would immediately take any sort of <hes> <hes> gross or any profit from the movie that has made aid and they would immediately finance very next movie so it was kind of like a revolving door of money and production and sustain that for about ten years and they went bankrupt this is this a long time to sustain yeah <hes> <hes> and this movie was made on a budget of ten million dollars gross seventeen so this white prophet. This movie looked like it cost seventy dollars to make I would say that <unk> I there are like the end the final scene the production value is definitely there the amount of extras that they have and that at that final battle scene outside the police station. I guess definitely there. There's definitely you know you gotta you. GotTa pay on his extras at the very least tanks they get a whole bunch of explosion. Is Explosives are squibb's so there I mean they do. They do demolishing entire town to or neighborhood. I should say everything just looks so cheap though to me even the tanks kind of look like toy tanks at times yeah yeah. I don't know how you fake it but some soon as a real tanks. I'm sure they are they just to to me. The overall budget it just looks so so terribly cheap yeah and I also didn't know so that the Department of Defense let you buy troop transports. Oh yeah the barges. It's just purchase. I will say one thing that this movie has going for it. There's a lot of great mustaches in this movie yeah. It wasn't quality mustaches yeah so if you're a mustache AFICIONADO. This is your movie. That's one thing we could say about this movie. It has mustaches it. Holds holds a five point four and I am D be an eighteen percent on rotten tomatoes to Chuck Norris Richard Lynch and Melissa Prophet who is very annoying in this movie and she shows up at sporadic times too. It's like I would wait. Why is she here now? You almost forget about her. Yeah Yeah. There's this movie doesn't even have much of a plot either. It is a series of scenes that happened eventually leading to an end yeah right. It's essentially how the John Wick tight movie could go bad because you know this is just basically the whole movie is wrapped around the Russian guy in Chuck Nour's <hes> I guess what the entire movies wrapped around dislike in John Wick the whole thing becomes him and the son of that rump Russian mobster writer for that in that first movie but at least in that movie they gave you some lower and made it interesting this was just for we're just blowing shit up and eventually you know that charts is going to succeed feel like this was <hes> Michael Base first movie as a kid sure lots of explosions yep gunfire and just really bad accents and this is run up his alley. It's he probably saw this in the ad that epiphany where this is what he wanted to do in life. I will say that <hes> the makeup department in this movie he boasts not only Tom savini would also greg nicotera along in bed. Yeah look in that is interesting. That's the most interesting thing I can say about this movie a couple of diamonds in the rough. I beverly remember that many makeup effects either for this movie so surprising the Russian guy looks like he's caked and make up sure he does. He does look like he just came out of serving A to clean up a shift at Chernobyl yes. He looks like you look smelt deface. I was GONNA say he looks who who played skeletal. You're in masters of Universal Max von Sido <unk> <hes> was at him or Robert Land Gela or Bob Jello Franklin Jealous Franklin. He kinda looks like Franklin. Gela in masters of the Universe is really pasty. White very skeletal toll yeah trying to think is or was that now now we're going off tangent. I WanNa know is was that <hes> Franklin Gela. I think it might have been confer. Let's let's do a little research real. Quick Jelly Yeah Okay who now who was maximum Sido feel like was he was he in Flash Gordon. Maybe I've never seen that movie. It was somebody Eh Franklin Villa last quarter and he was the emperor main yeah so we are avoiding talking about this movie because there's really like you said they really not. It's paper thin the plot yet. There's really not much to talk about in this movie <hes> so we might as well just get right into it. We're GONNA try and breeze through it. <hes> I still wound up like five pages of notes but <hes> overachiever so <hes> the the movie opens on Cuban defectors lost at sea trying to make it to Florida and they are tired hungry a are huddled huddled and looks like they've lost all hope nope when a U._S. Navy boat approaches <hes> with guns ron very aggressively but regardless the troops on the U._S.. Naval ship welcome them with open arms and then immediately execute the entire higher team at the entire <hes> defectors boat and find a ton of cocaine on it. I wasn't expecting that part right when they when they turned on though my thought we were going to have a we the baddies moment uh-huh yeah. I was like the ban it's really on the nose is very apropos. I thought so then we get title card of Invasion U._S._A.. And we are I look at our hero. You Chuck Norris Plan. What's his Matt? Hunter drives fan boat. Is it me or is there. Maybe just my mind just the way he was dressed. I swear there is like video of Macho Man Randy savage driving a fan vote like probably with the Denim Jacket Open no-shirt undershirt on that sounds like something randy would do we get that sweet Denham on Denim and <hes> that's all the Hell francine trying to fan motors. Let's go and wear them. There's a couple of scenes like that where they just it's just there to maybe extend the run time I don't know well. I think there are a lot of scenes that are there her to just be almost transition between action scenes and it's usually like the F._b._i.. Yet like like terrorists decimated entire neighborhood than the F._B._I.. Show up at the previous crime scene and then they go to the next crime then another terrorist blows up the church or something like that so it's just like it. Just I guess they just like well. It's kind of Ed. It's weird if if we just put a back to back action scenes let's throw these F._B._i.. Agents in there for for good measure <hes> speaking of the F._B._i.. Agents <hes> we meet F._B._I.. Agent Cassidy was on the scene <hes> as the boat soup has come into ports <hes> they this is also repeat find our reporter McGuire. She's on the scene. I it's her film confiscated by the COPS F._B._I.. Agent looks the boat <hes> did finally drugs but they sorer shit fine up but Loda bodies that yet they let the bodies and then we get just a quick scene of Mad Hunter Gainer wrestling with John Eagle it looks pretty real apparently chuck norris that all his own stunts here in his in this movie <hes> but that that alligator looked alive and well today say we're this takes takes place. It's in Florida right in Florida a lot of it takes place in Miami and Georgia Okay and yeah the where we chuck Nour's. That's the it's in the everglades somewhere right. I thought it might you've been like Louisiana. You know gator wrestling <hes> it could be but yet the COP car say Miami P._D.. On it I and also there's a scene where it says some restaurant in the everglades. Yeah you know what's interesting. <hes> I guess setting you don't get many movies in in that area now. It's this police academy six or something so the only shit movies get set in the everglades Scott next scene we get a Rostov takes the coke his drug dealer Mickey. I guess the plan is they're going to ease trading eating drugs for arms. Just loading up on some weapons. namiki is played by Billy Drako and I have no idea where I've seen him before but I've seen him before so air and I looked on. I'm DB for three days. I couldn't figure it out. He's got the craziest looking face great hairdo though you looks like he looks like a Siamese Cat F._x.. Move really good this apparently he lives in the hills. Half is days where I know from. I have no idea I went through. I went through his filmography up and down could not place them. I've seen the untouchables. That's not where I know him from. He's still getting movie. He's still getting acting gigs. He's too yeah. He's still fat cat face. Yes the however move. We Watch has kind of like a <hes>. I'm trying to think of the word it has a need not not a tone but oh a theme so every movie we watch as this weird theme. I think this one is everyone has weird faces in this miss movie. Everybody does like <hes> what's his name. The Richard Lynch who plays plays Rostov just kind of looks like a a aversion rutger Hauer with severe burns. It's he must've spent hours in makeup so Dan. You're saying all these characters in this movie could fit into the new avenger video game now. Come on now. How you GonNa do that to my is not he? He's not he doesn't look boxy. He he looks melted okay so <hes> so they're trading drugs for arms <hes> Mickey's chicks he's got he's a woman with them doesn't aggressive amount of cocaine while they're taking the deal and then they make the deal and then Rostov Turns on Mickey and shoots as Dick off there. Is this check out the window. I love that he does the why guess they did it. I technically so it wouldn't be the joker thing where he slams. The girls head in a coke Straw goes up or knows yeah like the I the Pencil I think <hes> that was a cool seen when I was not existing man this actually maybe the best of home movie cool when <music> happened. I was pleasantly surprised excited at that point and it happens because of reasons this really no reason why Rostov Kit as the kill Mickey or throw his woman window shoot. You know I mean I guess leaving witnesses. I guess is is the thing I guess these Mickey as a paper trail and maybe roestoff is just a psycho. I guess they're trying to do yeah <hes>. <hes> I guess but it's pretty good scene and then like comedy show up but beforehand like guy comes in and steals the rest of the coke and runs away the owner of the do we see that guy again. nope okay awesome so I guess seeing back in the everglades where we find out John Eagle is selling gators as a side hustle and that's that's all we learn from that scene and he stuck in the government. Apparently that's it even do fan boat rides forty years <hes> but at night and old Associate Finds Matt and tells him the company really needs him this time the cement must be a mercenary sort of like Raven. That'd be great eight Mash Up Raven. This movie burt rents a Matt says no and he says the I think this this guy's name was seem like twice right or three times. We see him a couple couple times. His name was Adam's Adam's but they don't really they don't really name him. I had a look them up <hes> and he says that Rostov is back and Matt's like you should've let me killed them when it kill him when you when I had a chance now is your problem them <hes> from there we immediately get a Rostov dream sequence of I guess the time where <hes> Matt was about to kill him but then decided not to the scene from a foreign country that is U._S.. Dignitaries Meeting <hes> some sort of King or ambassador something <hes> at a mansion Rostov is seeking onto the property to blow it up with like rocket launcher but Matt Hunter is there her <unk> kill him but doesn't <hes> so from here. We realize that Rostov besides trying to inflict a whole bunch of terrorism on America also really wants to kill Matt Hunter <hes> despite it being a distraction as his associate tells them another good thing about this movie you brought up. He's he's using a rocket launcher. There are rocket launchers out the ASS and this movie. It's Uh we hit. How many good things do we have? We have mustaches rocket. Launchers and grenade bulger's allow you like the new tubes right if they if this was a modern warfare game <hes> and I think that's it right there just a couple of things that are that we have grown for it. Yeah I mean basically I can't think of anything else that I was like. Oh man that was pretty cool and not and knock off Jennifer beals as day photojournalist journalists <hes>. She's the worst in this Jesus such. She's like a bitch to everybody. She's always yelling at the cops zone at the F._B._I.. Agents there's always the ellen at at hunter like she doesn't even know who the fuck is but but she's always yelling Adam Cowboy is she supposed to be like that really like Lois Lane so the extra mile to get the story but she's just a jerk apparently Chuck Norris was lobbying for Whoopi Goldberg to have that role it is it's an interesting interesting change. That would have been yeah. I think it would have made it any better no not at all I I said interesting that better in my opinion I don't I think it would have made it better. I I wonder they're like their connection. If he was like he was lobbying for her. That seems like a weird deal. It would be one hundred percent more SAS in the movie though child but this is like he's very conservative and he's very religious and he's anti gay lesbian as we find out later in his life <hes> so it's interesting how their paths crossed I in the eighty s well saying Chuck Norris Champion for Whoopi Goldberg to have that Rolls Gotcha. I'm wondering if there was a relation net net like a sexual relationship just like they must have known each other in some way shape or form. Yeah maybe through Ted Danson was at around the time. I don't think so this is earlier out care with Ted Danson was early nineties yeah okay but <hes> so then we get a scene back in the everglades swear hunters cutting some trees and he has acute pet armadillo as as one does in the everglades I don't think their native to the everglades <hes> but some guys on bamboo storms house John Eagle to get shot and the guys use some rocket launchers to blow up hunters house. Luckily he jumps out the window. Just in time in the armadillo gets away. I thought they killed the Armadillo I was going to be out for blood are there there is one thing about this movie where they do a lot of explosions but anybody that we spend more than five seconds with usually gets away unharmed out the a young Cuban kid in the beginning well but not the main Cuban kid. We we find right so it's like this to the two buddies and shy one I feel like is the not the one again no no no no the and in the boat and a very beginning Oh okay yeah I think that's the only one that dies that we spend any more than a couple of minutes with yeah so it it kind of pulls that punch a little bit because like we get a scene later where they completely -pletely obliterate a neighborhood and we see a girl and her family let setting up Christmas tree Christmas tree and the entire family gets out alive. I think I must miss that part. It was that middle of the movie you miss the entire scene where they they just pull up in the middle of a neighborhood and they blow up every single house all that that's right and then and a couple of scenes later the the detective is saying how the cops are calling in sick to protect their families right yeah yeah okay. I do remember this yeah. They're blowing on random houses <hes> so so matt hunters house gets blown up. He jumps out the window the safety <hes> he brings John Eagles Body into the house set on fire says what's left of it on fire so easy to know you know he means business now gives it quaking funeral American. He's got nothing left to live for so he heads to the mainland and he is pissed. He's about to unleash Prime Chuck Norris <hes> so we got a quick seen with Rostov meeting. The other guy plan is asset. That's really all that seems that's up again probably just trying to cut a ED scenes between weird transitions. It's from is where they said a thing where it their plan actually hits very very close to like our reality right now I think he says like we'll use their freedom against them l.. Maybe I think that might be the same sort of like the way you can interpret using the you. We know freedom of social media against you know in today's society. We'll reach their mark but I'll bet will also at this point. We're about half hour in. I'd say right thirty five minutes into the movie like twenty twenty you think so I I think we're getting to the par when Chuck Norris goes into the bar right. Now we're going to the part where they stormed the beaches. Oh and and nothing happens and kills the two people on the beach in a death so it's nighttime on the beach couple goes night swimming and they start making out on the beach and they are immediately executed and then hundreds of nondescript terrorists make landfall on the beaches and they pack up in their whole bunch of trucks and drive off and Rostov. Oh says eighteen hours America will be completely different. Place did not nearly enough people to do that <hes> Yeah No. It's really more like Georgia. Georgia becomes a martial law state right. I mean this show that they go to show you at the end because they bring in the National Guard and everything these guys are just incredibly outmatched. It's not even really think of what was that movie. <hes> when the Russians invade right dot red dawn like if red dawn just like it it didn't last for more than a couple hours. That's that's really what it was so next scene we adams again is trying to get to hunter finds them at Taco. Stand and hunter says he'll take the job that scene and let's see you can't an we get a quick scene at the F._B._i.. Agent strope on the beach crime scene report is there again and she is complaining that she you know can't step foot on a live crime scene because she's Nydia <hes> she's screaming for the cops to get her story that she sees hunters call him cowboy and then he pulls the Old Batman Disappearing Act on her too so he he's there. One Minute gone the next. Is there anything he can't do <hes>. I don't know he rose rose very impressive stuff. Check there. We go <hes> so then we get another nighttime seen the busiest street and suburbia. It's is Christmas time family. Putting Christmas tree is putting up Christmas decorations bringing packages teens making out in cars skateboarders and all sudden are terrorists roll up and just an orgy of explosions absolutely leveling the entire neighborhood says actual this was actually the actual demolition of this neighborhood because it would be set for demolition and they were allowed to destroy it and is currently the Georgia International Convention Center College College Park Georgia Aycell Cherry. I I don't know how many studios are allowed to do that but that is an awesome idea to seek out areas that are ready for demolition or about to be late late to waste or whatever and just say hey. Can we just borrow this for a scene. I think that's a pretty cool idea again. I don't know it's probably done more often than we think yeah. That's how that's movie was only ten million dollars there you go. Oh yes <hes> again. Despite an most of these people do getaways without serious injuries <hes> most of the people that we see anyway we have a party at South Miami Community Center and where the bunch of Hispanic people are having griddle time Danson. I got a couple of guys trying to hit on some girls and then to terrorists dresses cops show up which apparently is not is cop showing own up the harass people something that's not new to them which is a long nose yep now that you could draw parallels society and then he terrorists just start shot shot gunning the fuck out of the crowd but in in during the Malay one of them says they have to leave witnesses so some people die most people live and the real cop show up in the crowd turns on them. That's right yeah they start throwing bricks Adam and everything right yeah yeah because they think that the cops just shot a bunch of their friends right completely understandable. Yes it is it is the reaction they should have yeah yeah then we get some scenes of Chuck Norris driving through the bad bad side of town. Everybody's yelling Adam to get out of there yeah for no reason is around less. It's because he's white right judgments a white dude with the mustache I guess huge square with at Denham say maybe because he looks authoritative. I guess I I couldn't really figure it out but they hate him with the fire with a passion of thousand fiery sons and there's some really skis e people in that scene. Oh Yeah it's pretty pretty not subtle. It's very taxi driver. Ask there. There's probably a probably a movie in some <hes> parallel universe or Chuck Norris was taxi driver and he does indiscriminately killed hookers and pimps and drug dealers. I'm sure there's a movie script out there. Where Chuck Norris does all of that and maybe maybe there's a movie stars? Did we have no idea one hundred percent. I couldn't tell you filmography the I love those warrior looking ASS motherfuckers that kick the truck doc at the end they just pop up by hitting joke Narcisse truck for no reason yeah so then we get. He's I guess he's GonNa Gill spot which is a dive bar. I mean an old friend who's probably named Gill <hes> he gets some info and this is Kinda like the the first scene where it's super obvious that he has like zero charisma now because they won guys hassle them in the bar and he like basically so we breaks the guy's hand and he has some choice words for him but it's just like so flat so painful I I want. I want to say that was probably take what we think. Hundred for a hundred they're probably like take five or six right. He's is not get we gotta keep gallon it reminded me of the up in Adam and at them uh-huh up in Adam up and at them better names turned to annoy me. I think he says at one time yeah it's it's painful listening to him. They act really. I really thought that he has some worker is more than what he has especially in movies like expendable 's and Chuck <hes> expendable and <hes> dodgeball. I mean Dodgeville. Oh he really doesn't have any lines but he at least gives off that kind of he's he's having fun with it vibe <hes> especially in expendable when he's just basically it's nothing but one liners for him mark quite for you bob does he get better by like Walker. Texas ranger time like the little does seem like he learned anything. I think the best thing to say about that is that he gets better as Walker. Texas ranger goes along okay okay have because he probably I. It's like comfortable with the role yet. I was GONNA say comfortable's probably the best word for he starts to know what that character is. He still still little wooden delivering one liners but the the actual dialogue back and forth accounting to do cop shit in <hes> show <hes> he gets a lot better at that goes along Gotcha <hes> but yeah. It seems like he seems Kinda guy that you know the more he does us something you know it. He'll he probably gets you know less nervous about it. You know stuff like that. You know being a guy that probably didn't WanNa be a movie star and just you know had a look of about him. In the seventies confusing movies were huge and just became a phenomenon from there sure so from gills body gets them information then we get another scene with the F._B._i.. Showing up to the last crime scene and they have some words with the reporter and they say they're turning people on each other against authority. He has some sort of a monologue about you know what happens when people can't trust authority <HES> <HES> Strip club. I only pear boobs very darkly-lit and we get a guy who this point. I guess is a terrorist picks up. A girl <unk> brings her the backroom yeah so if I remember correctly I we have to talk about them. Two guys washing the car outside the thing if there's ridiculous guys in the whole movie <hes> and are only set up for one purpose which will get to later <hes> but I believe this is the guy that gets shot when by John Eagle <hes> when they're on the fan boats white has the bandage on his hand okay Gotcha. I think it's the same guy I didn't go back and look but I think that's where the connection units okay. I missed that little detail but <HES> so they goes a strip club brings the girl back and immediately he gets his hands stabbed <hes> by hunter who was looking for Rostov he's getting he's trying to get some information a couple of guys including those those dudes that are washing the car come up one. Do is <hes> just muscle on top of muscle. They're like what are you can do about this. Bub Me Kicks that guy through through the door frame purpose for that guy that scene where Chuck Norris kicks them through the door just so you can see how much of a bad ass onto his as this is the where he drops alive. Now you guys really starting to annoy me probably giving the debt too much emotion to I I was going to say I think the problem with this is there's a lot of cool the things that he does obviously he's dropped kicking people. He's breaking glasses with his bare hands over other people and stabbing dudes but it's done so boring robot like yes. It's like this is mundane stuff. I'm just GONNA stab this guy in the hand. No biggie moving on like come on man at least make it I I should be feeling something when I see a guy get dropped kick through you know adore or whatever but with him. It's just go. This is what I do so he gets them information from the guy and then before he leaves he places a live handgrenade the guy's hand and he says if you live through this tell Rostov it's time to die again. Super Boringly net. I gave too much too much emotion in that so he walks out and then the guy throws the league grenade at the window landing in the car that goes that those two guys have been trying to clean and blows up the car setting up a finally paying off that joke which is is barely a joke yeah just like everything that's <hes> takes place outside the action <hes> it's it's written by someone that probably on paper or in his mind alone in his office thought was a good idea and then just no corrected them. You mean Chuck Norris the writer of this movie yeah I would say it's mostly I would say the the transitions that don't involve Chuck Norris One liners <hes> are written by the other guy yeah I know how to do these actions stuff you. You write that dialogue. Go ahead. We're not gonNA. We're just GONNA read whatever you're right. We're not going to edit you so then we get move onto a mall seen during Christmas time so. So it's packed bratty kid with with some bubblegum this throws a this really confused me. This part kid in the insecurity guard yeah give for some reason really wants to throw his gum on this Nissan on pickup truck windshield. Does the COP is show ready for it to he's got my eye on you buddy. Does it get Renzo lay but meanwhile we get a nerdy terrorist as leaving some packages packages around this is this is hilarious part and Good Samaritan knows the the motto see something say something Tressler Attorney guys package to this. This guy will stop it nothing to return this by the way chasing him down the Malter turn his packets screaming. Watch your package. This is definitely something that would not happen today. He was this guy must have been in his past life like the best mail carrier ever or something like everyone gets their packages on my watch right. It was so funny <hes> <hes> so eventually the chase scene devolves into a whole bunch of terrorists shooting into the crab and in the package blows up and immediately after that hunter drives right into the mall this pickup truck and start shooting and he has some sweet dual holsters on his on his back guys his Uzis as Uzis so he's shooting at a terrorist terrorism shooting at him eventually the terrorist jump into that Nissan pickup truck <hes> hot wire it and drive off is they they drive through the park in through the mall into the parking lot and they crashed into woman in her car. They take one of the women hostage hostage and perhaps to the stunt woman on this. This is a long chasing and she's like being held out the window the entire time. It's a decent stunt but it's a a long chasing takes forever hunters in pursuit with the journalists jumps into the back of his. It's not even his his car. It's her car and they attempted daring rescue of the girls being taken hostage hostage eventually. They're able to pull her away. From the terrorists hunter tosses a grenade into the terrorist truck and it blows up onto a whole bunch of parked cars and the on that seen yet knows cars parked data just for this yeah they're <unk> lakeside like right the windows open those doors just meant for this cool explosion see <hes> Saratov <hes> he eh questions the guy from the Strip club <hes> the guy gives him the message that hunter sent like he's dead and then Rostov shoots this guy's Dick off to Dick Shootings. Yes movie and that's pretty cool calling card though is now my thought is Vincent near thinking about it since the first one Margaret Thinking about this movie too much is not not good for you know you would know better to me when I make this statement because <hes> you know about these things more night though <hes> would the fact that they did the shooting narrow just be a way to hide needing like a special effects or props or anything you know shooting down the pants means and you don't need blood or anything I I I mean it's entirely possible but I mean the first shot in this movie. The first person killed in this movie is a headshot that has zero blood so they really didn't try and hide it at that point. I wonder if Richardson Lynch just requested that he shoot everyone in the Dick. Thing is shoot people dick will I would like to think that's what actually happened. Well Chuck Norris wrote this right. Yeah I wonder he wrote that in and and Rostov shoots guy on the Dick Chuck what what's going on here nothing just I just thought it was cool like he's like you know I see here you wrote that Rostow shoots this guy in the head but I was thinking wouldn't it be cooler shoots him in Dick like a bunch of times like his rallies unloads as clip into the guys ditch. I love it. Go go with it. Even if you surprise he's really dead. If you know what I mean what if he turns the go himself after themselves with no Dick Point is is is it really dark. I see it as that mean where everyone is in the it's. The people in the meeting room in the boss is leaning like all right. So how are we gonNA make this better than to people say some random I answer and the third guy gives out of this world answer and gets thrown out the window so it's like how are we gonNa make this better. What about a headshot whereabout a body shot and then Chuck Norris just over what about Dick shot thrown right out the window Kazeem Jeff came out the window so rust up shoots back on the Dick and then that's the on that scene which kind of unfortunate I enjoyed that this entire movie is just that you you do that forever soon as then go and that's the end of that? That's the end of that chapter. Yeah I mean I think <hes> according to Trivia. I'm just GonNa pull his real quick and because it's it's kind of <hes> indicative of how we're processing the the point of this movie which is there is no point in this movie we see cannon films completely removed all all the story elements and background characters in the editing room in order to concentrate on check nor is in the action editor Daniel Thal has stated that cannons cut made the film heavily episodic and pretty much a collection of explosive action scenes exactly what we get <hes> so after the Dick Shooting off seen <hes> we get military presence in now on the streets are putting rolled road blacks hunters trying to get through the roadblocks can't so he's driving around town. <hes> eventually get stopped by terrorists poses military <hes> who he shoots both and he gets more information. We get some curfews now plays everybody's trying to get home after dark guessing church meanwhile terrorists get set to blow up a whole bunch of churchgoing white people hunker foils their plans by disarming the bomb and then blowing a terrorist up with their own dumb and that's the in that same eh he has a one liner says didn't work did it and then blows them up. Now it does or something like that isn't some real dumb. That's that's one thing buyers hot wires the ball. He's got a lot of one liners owners in here and none of them are memorable Niro written by Chuck Nour's yeah. It's it's it's I I wonder if it's one of those things where he was saying it and he thought it sounded cool and maybe no one had the no-one had the heart to tell him like this is. This is terrible. Check also. I don't know if anyone called Chuck. I guess so right because that's Chuck Norris. I feel like with cannon. It wasn't like the details didn't really matter in any other movies. It's like there's no one really looking over their anybody's shoulder. Read like reading the the scripts and giving anybody notes. It's just like all right well we. We've got this money. We gotTa make a movie right now. So we can make more money would make another move movie right now. It's all about things it's all about just keeping their head above water to make the next movie so that they could fund the next movie just churning out content pre kind of like what we do yeah sure so. They're they're probably just like Oh. You've you've written the script and three weeks I'll excellent. When can you start filming right <hes> so there's chaos going on the supermarket having a hard time getting any food they're running on a food because of the military presence <hes> the military military actually terrorists and opened fire on the crowd but then hunters shows up and kills a bunch of them? The shop keeper has a shotgun and gets around off which I don't know if they cut this but at that point from from the People's perspective it looks like this crazy I drove in chuck and killed six military people. That's probably what actually happens with if there's what if like all this just happened all terrorists were in chuck. Norris's mind does the same movie that's incredible. It's almost like a a Rambo where he was a chuck. Norris was as a special and maybe he was brainwashed or guys. They couldn't wait to make the movie better moment it was that really one of your yes. It was getting out of here. It's incredible yeah. No what if all these people that are supposed supposed to be stressed as military people are actually military. The end of the scene is just him in a padded room and that's the end of the movie the Electric Chair. It's a Jacob he's planner scenario very dark ending do it for us here. They call this a movie. Well technically all the terrorists were in check. Nour's is Ed as he did right the movie. That's true now. What if what if they were terrorists yes just murdering cops and on the news? It's just a random man going on killing spree targeting targeting cops in army men turns out the real terrorists or the friends we made along the way the tagline so at the grocery store the reporter gets taken hostage and she screams at at a hundred helper so he immediately does and <hes> she is annoying about it because she says he could kill her. She definitely has a point that oh because he just basically takes the guys gun and just shoots them in the head. I and may pays no minds for the direction that gun is is facing because she should have gotten killed by it. You said do something you said do something and then he just leaves and that's the end of that scenes and then we get seen kids are being bussed out of the city for their own safety. <hes> and I guess a lot of people are leaving the city. There's a lot of traffic heading Adam city at a construction area on the road D- <hes> the terrorists run over construction guy just so they could get catch the bus and stick a bomb on it so hunter. He drives up next to the alongside. The bus pulls off the bomb sticks to terrorist car has terrorist car blows up and that scene you guys forgot this cheese another terrible one liner and then that's the end of that scene and then we have a scene where hunter mournfully looks on at a destroyed carnival and Adams shows up and they kind of hatch a plan to try and get <hes> whatever what's his name Rostov Rostov Rostov him to come out of hiding and that's the on that scene the one thing I've noticed so far anthony is usually pretty good with remembering everyone's names in these movies. You're struggling YEP. I it's gotTa be because of the movie relate only ever name they really ever named to people consistently Rostov and hunter most. I think most people don't even have names. They haven't been I._M._D._b.. But like they're they're not named areas of very often. <hes> <hes> like McGuire McGuire isn't even the reporter ever said they say once at the first time we see her and they don't even give our very first name so that's the kind of level thought they put into this right like you said it's just abandoned that for for <hes> Action Yep so the plan is hunter holds up in the motel. Lets himself get arrested by the F._B._i.. Who are like you know? You're individual. Lanny justices is not real justice. Blah Blah Blah. You're going down yeah. Rostov is watching some televisions about his handiwork <hes> and at some point hunter it gets taken in into the police station any dresses rust up directly on T._v.. Basically calls a coward and tells me Kill Them Seth Rostov off break one of his many. T._V.'s three lined up right next right next to each other because he doesn't know how to use a remote. I guess another moment in the movie the Chuck Norris Pardon is seen that would win to the credence of if it was all on his head it would be a better movie. He's just insane same like the guy that kill kill those kids in the subway in the Eighties Bernie Goetz. It's time to die. He's you like home. I holy shit nuts so that Rostov gets his crew together. They break in and still bunch of armored cars and they start storm the F._B._i.. Building holding the fight with a real military there's an an singing amount of people shooting at each other in the scene but it's not very fun. This scene goes on for fucking ever yeah again. It's all of these this action sequences are just kind of their. I guess everything is just kind of your run-of-the-mill action scene it. It's like something that should have happened in the first half of the movie not for not towards the end. Yeah I mean like I'll give give the scene credit for the production value just for wrangling this amount of people into this one scene and having the helicopters the the the tanks and all that kind of stuff but like it goes nowhere like I don't there's no I don't know how many people get shot and killed in the scene was really not any <hes> like <hes> plot or story story that gets affected by what's going on outside. 'cause most of the the the the action that we care about is on the inside of this police station yeah. There's things that happen in Santa to me. I WANNA applaud the stuntman that gets blown back towards the camera when they crash into the armored vehicle place that was that was jarring. I'll say is he. He takes tumble. Yeah you get blown alone up. They put him in the wrong spot for that stunt whether I wonder if because it it it it looks. It looks like it hurts. Wonder if that was a mistake r.i.p that Guy Yeah John. Landis wasn't directed in this movie. I was trying to think of a way to say it. This is the steel marks Thunder podcast man. Maybe host Mark 'cause I had that story in my head recently because people were making fun of Maxland this and calling data helicopter dad if it's it's like my instance I read that own twitter anyway. <hes> the second grade thing is I love those terrorists walking through the lobby of the command center just shooting guns at nothing just firing at the wall and the cubicles just wasting ammo for no reason yeah yeah I got real skyscraper vibes from the senior showed I that's that's chuck. Norris has gone through the <hes> the office building yeah and to me it was like this could have been used in skyscraper so this is one hundred goes from office to office shooting a whole bunch of terrorists eventually gets a hold of a really big gun manages to blow away two guys through wall and then we have the showdown with Rostov also has a giant gun. I and everyone has grenade launchers by the way the open that upgrade on their gun founded in a drop. I guess so they kind of do a standoff in a slow motion ocean draw and yet and hunter gets the drop on Rostov and blows them through window with rocket launcher concert slow motion rocket launcher versus grenade launcher Beaumont and I think more movies need that as very anti-climactic because they never even share words right and their background is in really explored further yeah. I think the only words they exchange was <hes> hunter says it's time and that's it don't yet your words they ever speak to each other in the movie. It's very disappointing like a little more weight to that too that final meeting that was all this movie as bad as them right. I would've taken exposition during a fight scene a finding out why they hate each other well yeah I mean that's what this whole movie really should have been about building up that the tension between in Rostov and Chuck Norris's character who I don't remember his name met Hunter Matt Hunter so you know what we know that they met at one point in like the Congo or whatever and that's it. That's is really all we know and chuck. Norris had a chance to kill him but didn't doesn't but we don't know why because Adams told him not to but it seems like it was his choice in the in the flashback Oh yeah he he had him did to writes <hes> how you've put put up a fight whoops I would love to see this end seen if they just like if they both just threw down their guns and we had a good old fashioned fistfight and intrude Chuck Norris Fashion Yeah because he he doesn't he does a kick kick the one guy through through the door frame and that's about it and the only hand to hand combat they have is basically Chuck Nour's just Pizza Shit out of him yeah before he goes and gets the rocket launcher. Yeah I think that would have been more than more than fine <hes> if we just had them be like it's time to finish this than they've just like to hell with bees dislike karate at each other for several minutes and then maybe he kicks he kicks him through the window and he lands on something one hundred percent and that's how I would have ended that kick him through the window and then say a witty one liner like see later comrade or something like that and then an end in the freeze frame Yep. We have a freeze frame ending which is how many do we have now. Are we four three three or four three or four yeah we have killing killing zone killing zone endgame and. they had this one and i feel like there's a there's a fourth one raven was it raven i can't remember nano sukhoi camp on that's right the chick with the terrifying find face yeah that's right area and that's invasion u._s._a. it's it was he slog a little bit of slog for a movie that that packs that much action it's it's disappointing to it'd be honest <hes> it delivers on that it's like your promises you action against the action but it's like it's boring action right and none of it is none of it is fun i agree it's very run of the mill it's like something and you would see a t._v. movie there's just no there's a stakes to any of the action nope because it's not it's not <unk> hunter is like the only person we really know and he's not he's not in any danger he's the one stopping the danger and even like you said the people who we meet kind of they all make it out alive for the most part so we don't even think that this civilians are in any danger right yeah like that when kinda took me out of it when it was like not that i i wanna see that that cute little girl that finally got to put the christmas the star on top of the christmas tree just get blown to bids but when she walks out unscathed and her mom is there and then you like oh well maybe the the data and the son died died on his right over there what the fuck happened go out the the the they have dinner on the back porch maybe it's just a time we're living in now but i did find that unique at the two times when they attacked white neighborhoods everybody came out alive and then the gathering at the spanish place and on the boat at the beginning of the refugees that is a fair point yeah white people make it out pretty nicely the church the boss neighborhood do we find out from this movie that chuck norris's secretly racist all the kids that secret i i don't follow i haven't followed his career so i is is it like a well known fact that he is racist i kinda looked it up when we decided to do this kind of looked up his his politics and he is republican but he's also <hes> been a large donator to anti like a key he opposed same sex barrett in california gets too late for meat even try the acronym l._g._b._t._q. it's yeah he's very anti l._g._b._t._q. interesting i did not know that yeah yeah is very religious <hes> so it makes sense i didn't even get to what made this movie the worst okay okay laid on me and that was my one co worker for about an hour telling me chuck norris jokes <hes> oh jesus and he would do it and they were it was like a novel when he would tell the joke right he would tell all the long ones and i'm just like oh yeah that's that's funny was hilarious was it wasn't the short ones like they nope curing cancer one and all that nope he did one about jesus and make sense with check fires it was basically it was chuck norris was one of the wise men and then how the otherwise men were jealous of chuck norris so they omitted him from the bible and then jesus did i was like oh my god this is is so poorly done or sure to skip wasn't just pitching his screenplay was he i'm not picking it up that's for sure i am not grieving green-lighting that project you also endorsed <unk> alabama chief justice roy moore twenty two thousand seventeen so he's he's a slime bag hasn't been completely cancelled but yeah he's he's he's done it under the radar i think i i think that's probably what it is i don't think he's in the limelight as much as some other people he's not he's not gainful james woods yeah yeah he doesn't hang out on twitter he kinda keep and he doesn't doesn't do his stuff on there israel name and united states name i'll be undertaker yeah what what's your favorite what's your favorite chuck norris joe dan after you heard him all my favorite favorite is probably a was something simple the the boogeyman check checks for chuck norris under his bed every night sore that's probably i think to superman wears chuck norris pajamas it it was something that we were talking about it at work <hes> basically those jokes were funny for about a week when you heard them and then they were they were done i i remember sitting in college and i was reading them and i was getting a kick kick out of it but then i heard him again i was like well that's pointless it ran its course so quickly chuck norris doesn't sleep he waits yeah that's it took steers cure cancer too bad he doesn't cry the winning when chuck norris does pushups he's pushing the earth it's there's a few that are funny but again long drawn out wise men now you know we we need nice icing quick here friend okay guys so how do you make this movie better will mark how how would you make this movie better i don't think no yet can i just go with my second choice if you if you want to expand span on your first one go right ahead to know i was it or you can do it one of both ways you could have chuck nour's his character be nuts and imagining everything or you could have rostov be imagining like chuck norris character is not real the other thing i like chuck norris go on there being crazy the the second one i have to say now so you guys don't take it probably won't get but <hes> the one way to make it a little more intriguing it's too maybe instead of having it be the foreign bad guy have it be like <hes> at actual part of the u._s. government or military you know doing a inside job invasion sort of nine shown style of row you know a rogue wing of the armed forces false flags it's not bad and that you know chuck nour's is trying to save it but then it keeps getting he's chased by the f._b._i. because they think he's the terrorists you know sort of thing interesting goal dan what about you so i had time to think about it because i really didn't know what i because this movie was so bland we'll how do you fix fix it so one thing that i noticed that they did was they were in the terrorists were impersonating you know military police officers and i thought like all right we'll how 'bout again like bringing this to modern day where people aren't really trustworthy of our law enforcement how about the terrorists are infiltrating in our military and our <hes> police officers and making the public not trust the police and and it turns out it's just this con- it's a conspiracy chuck norris's kind of he's into the bottom of it gotcha sounded interesting yeah i think i think i make it better by putting anybody with a little bit of charisma in the lead lead world having bringing the plot back i mean there's really no reason for this reporter to be in this movie take her out it doesn't difference i think you you bring that story line a little bit back maybe your partner maybe she's uncovering things and maybe it's a mystery what's happening and he doesn't realize it or something and then all wrote like her investigation leads him to rostov or something why why do i get the feeling that kurt russell would be really good because her russell's amazing and everything i i actually thought this would be a steven seagal kind of movie steven seagal would make this movie better steven seagal is awful yeah because you know there will be a lot more fist fighting in steven seagal and he in steven seagal would not get like no one would leave finger on him never it'd be it'd be a laris yeah but it was his delivery would be better <hes> there's so many people you can just walk in there you can either go for actual really good actors like guys with kirk rossler he could do <hes> you know j. c. d. <hes> you know in j._c. around at that point i think he was right i don't think so is he was barely in he was in predator for hot minute in years later found the he was really well known yet saying general this type of movie yes absolutely yeah go completely you know that type route or you can go and make it into the i think like kurt russell type would fit the movie anthony trying to make <hes> as and you put them with you know you know oh how i try to think of without like just picking up popular names yeah for some reason and trying to get a time period you know in my head for some reason i was like <hes> <hes> grab i lost it but <hes> you you know just putting like a wise cracking make it like a buddy cop you know between him and the female reporter and those are pretty big in the eighties still just have <hes> a big trouble in little china minoring in cantrell you know how you make this movie better you know how we make this better by watching different chuck norris movie we watched the wrong one i think i don't know man i don't have any faith that there's a better on a at least the synopsis better so he was in a movie in one thousand nine hundred to called silent rage sheriff tries to stop the killing spree of a mute maniacal murderer who has the result of years of medical experimentation has the ability to self he'll ooh rift tracks is done an episode on silent rage so it probably worthy okay so i picked one at random out of his filmography he was also in way up the dragon not entered the dragon okay wait a dragging sorry i apologize no it's fun yeah invasion u._s._a. not great <hes> but it had u._s._a. title so that's all we watched it hello real quick to slightly tangent i had to look this up while you guys are saying it for some reason i was trying to think of the movie <hes> that he started <hes> that had the glass named mcquaid at the end of it at i kept saying launchpad mcquaid quid okay is that a thing mcquaid what is it launch pad big launchpad macuac or okay movie called topdog where he has a dog cop partner rich or worked under newt turn say this fletch dog in it i don't know i don't think we're going going often these tangents reno the dog pairs up with tough cop jake the wording criminal organization and i think it's last movie before you know nineteen ninety five eight that's something in two thousand three after that and then it's dodgeball hi bonnie expendable and that's it always done stop the well he was a walker texas ranger lasted for nine years in terms of fulfillment it's like an eight year gap a hundred ninety six episodes of walker texas rangers episodes of walker texas ranger they couldn't make those four more though it's an indication yeah isn't it one hundred thousand one hundred four more for an even two hundred hundred gotcha yeah and sorry the one the one the one clip i always remember remember haley joel osmond he's like walker tells me i have aids and i liked it he played the ranger walker in into looks like made for t._v. movies as well that timeframe hotel walker yeah grail walker yeah it's in martial law and sons of thunder oh wow walker texas ranger trial by far fire was a two thousand five movie again this stuff i've never seen i'm really upset that i missed that haley joel osmond oh yes i only know from conan's and if you if you type walker tell it comes it it it auto fills what are the chances of us but what are the chances of getting chuck norris and haley joel asthma to re to redo what's the word re reenact act to reenact that scene in jimmy fallon enough he could make it happen now headed that sounds like something jimmy fallon's alley how how do so i'll take the twitter and we'll get on this well that app sorry i was watching the walker texas ranger saying we if i'll just tweet jimmy fallon how do we can we get chuck norris and haley joe asthma to redo this seem to serve the scene and i feel we if we get that hashtag going walker told me i have cancer was aids walker tells me i have aids that's that's a hashtag that will take off i think <hes> i i think i need to watch the episode to just get the context context of it man and makes me laugh i think that's that's all that's all she wrote for this episode that's a good hina to go out on a little final chuck nour's trivia he's been in three tv series or five t._v. roles outside of along with walker texas ranger he has played himself in three of the five or four of the five wow <hes> yeah that's gonna wrap it up for invasion u._s._a. episode <hes> next week i believe we're gonna take a break it is the fourth of july week <hes> also a couple of our birthday week so we're gonna take the a well deserved little week off so we've back into week after that <hes> with some movie i have no idea but but <hes> you can subscribe the podcast listen to if you haven't listened to any previous episodes you go back and listen to that we are they called smoothie you can find us on make all this movie pod being dot com you can find on the main damien dot com that's our main website site we posts in theory post articles <hes> we haven't done so sometime but dr evil quotes around but hopefully someone will be as lazy as they've been recently in the title start writing more articles <hes> were the main day me on twitter facebook and instagram you just type the may naming on those and that's where we'll be <hes> what else can i say <hes> we're on like just again <unk> shortly before that we're on most podcast services <hes> just on itunes stitcher <hes> basically if you have a podcast streaming app to search for us in chicago pop right up we're not proud the members of geek vibes cbs nation who do some great work by posting a whole bunch of episodes of whole bunch of different types of podcasts <hes> surely there's probably a show for you they've got top tans they've got best they've got geeks against the grain they gotta i think wrestling <hes> podcast i think they have a they do have basketball but obviously that's over <hes> what else did i got they got i think they had a comics one or like a comic <hes> t._v. show one on <hes> great stuff we pop up their articles on g._b. nation dot com they actually do write articles <hes> and yeah you just look for geek vibes nation on again any podcast yeah streaming app i tunes all that stuff bishop right up <hes> do you guys have 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or actually any suggestions may they have on how to improve the video stuff because we are rolling into a new thing there so anybody does have an experience with it that might have some constructive criticism with that i'd we'd appreciate it okay <hes> and for the game vault it is <hes> on twitter at game volt pod <hes> so yeah find that there were five being right now <hes> you know game vote that pod being dot com yet and we'll be on i tuned shortly i believe leave we need one or two episodes before they'll officially let us on but will be there <hes> in the next couple of weeks here yeah and i am at andt delvecchio on twitter fund me there <hes> and that has been this episode sued <hes> we will be back in two weeks don't mrs too much go back and listen to some other episodes if you want the godley one is excellent they're

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