132. I Survived A Mass Shooting
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Beautiful at checkout, go to the merged or twenty percent off. That's amazing. Enjoy. It you guys might know Howard Kremer from the who charted podcast had the pleasure doing a Howard is a really funny guy, two gentlemen, New Jersey. Howard and engineer started producer young Kevin, bring an extra charge for Stitcher. Premium listeners. Listen, our discuss old music with new stories like momento updates, some tips, much more only on the premium stream. Listen, a new weekly episodes of who charted prem- stream out now in Stitcher, premium for free month, Stitcher premium. Go to Stitcher, premium dot com. Slash charted use promo code stories. Hello to everybody who believes in random acts of kindness. It's full anonymous one hour one phone call, no names, no holds barred. I'd rather no one on one. I think it'll be more fun man. Now. Hello, everybody, Chris gathered here. Thanks for listening getting your warning up front. It's going to be a tough one for a lot of people, but it's a beautiful one to one that I hope spreads around because I think anyone was a human being could get something out of this one. Usually at the top of these things that tell you what's going on in the Facebook group. And plus my upcoming tour dates in the book and stuff like that. I don't think that's appropriate for this one. Even just mentioning it. That's enough. There's nowhere to find that info. If you want your about to listen to call that I would say is one of the most incredible calls in the history of the show. And I know sometimes with these intros I cannot be a little hyperbolic with my claims, but I think everyone's going to agree. This is someone who survived an incident that is infamous worldwide shooting that 'cause headlines everywhere that has continued the debate surrounding firearms and mental health in our country. This is someone who was there. This is someone who I learned through the course of this call is also. Potentially someone who can teach the rest of us how to deal with life and how to treat others and how to stay strong. I just got off the phone on pretty shell shocked right now. You can hear it. Just one of the most beautiful people who who's ever called this show, and I feel so blessed in so lucky that I got ear. Her words enjoy. Thank you for calling beautiful anonymous. A beeping noise will indicate when you are on the show with the host. Hello? Hello. Hi, hey, how are you? Good. How are you? I'm good. I'm I tell you I was just recording my audiobook for my new book and it's I was in there for seven hours today, but I got another. I got another hour in me. I just switched recording. Hopefully I can. You know, out a little bit of excitement into that day. I would love that. I'm sure you will, but I'm good. I'm good. I'm excited about everything. And how, how are you. I'm good. I'm getting my summer is about to come to an end. So I have a few more days and then I had home on Sunday. So trying to soak in the sun and enjoy the last few days of summer while I can teacher. Do you get your summers off? No, I'm not My husband is in school and I actually work fulltime, but I am lucky where I I can basically work from wherever I need to be. So when he's not in school, we get to, you know, come home and spend time with family and the all of our friends and go to the beach. So it's nice. That's awfully nice. You can work when you can work a system like that. That's pretty great. Yeah. Yeah, it. It can be a little hard, you know, working from home by yourself for forty hours a week, but I get through it. Well, you gotta you gotta put. You got to turn off the WI fi, not fall down in the internet, rabbit holes and find the motivation. But you know. Unfortunately, I need the internet to do my job. That's a trap that's a trap right there, but some some people are breaking their backs in in much harder situations than you. And I, my friend. Sounds like sounds. Yeah. Me too me too. Yeah. I mean, you know, I, it can be hard depending on what's going on in your life. You know, if you're if things are going well, you know, it's easy to sit in a room all day and work and get your work done and things aren't going to. It's easy to get distracted. Absolutely. And get your mind off of it with any other thing. Now, full disclosure for anyone listening. You left a voicemail. I have not heard it. I have heard that it did. I have heard that you left it a few months ago and it was it was very topical to something from when you when you you left it, but it was like two or three months back. That's about all I know about what you want to talk about today. So I am actually a survivor of a mass shooting. Whoa. That's, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. Low. Don't be sorry. There's nothing. You know. Really anyone can do about it. I'm living life, so yeah, but if I didn't say, I'm so sorry, what? What kind of person would I be you when you say that? If I was like, oh, cool. What was that like then? I'm a sociopath. Yeah, that's true. But what was that. Wow, okay. I don't wanna make too many jokes because seriously. You know, I, it's good. Laughter is good for the soul. So Tokyo. But it's this is actually something that. I very worked up about for variety of reasons, but I don't wanna make it about me. I'm sure my opinions will come out along the way. Where would you like in? Where would you like to begin? Because this is your story. You know, I think you know, agitator -vivor you know, a lot of people don't really get to hell their entire story. And I feel like when a mass shooting happen, a lot of what the focus is is like all on the, you know who the shooter was, and you know how many people were injured or didn't make it through. And you know, I just think that there's a lot of positivity that also comes out of being a part of that, and you know, I hope that I can. You know, share a little bit of that side of, you know, being a survivor, we'll maybe we start there because most people don't think positively. When they hear mass shooting. So maybe before we get into anything else, maybe you could share the positivity you're mentioning like, what are the? What are these silver linings? You've found the positivity that's come out of the situation. Well, the first thing that happened was a few days after the incident. I found out that my husband actually saved or you know, help a girl who had been shot. And so you know, that was very positive, you know, to be able to focus on, you know that story and reconnecting them and all the crazy news that it was coming out in the days following. So that's, that's one thing. And the other thing is there's a very beautiful community that has been created from all the survivors or as a lot of people like to say within that community, we're warriors just because it's a constant fight, you know, to get through all the things we saw and had experience, but it's become a very positive communities that is very focused on spreading love. And it's a great thing to be a part of. Yeah. That sounds beautiful. Yeah. So August fourth mart fifty eight days until the one year anniversary and fifty. Eight is kind of an important number because that's how many people were killed. Fifty eight and honor of the fifty eight people myself. And a lot of the other warriors have just started a journey doing fifty eight random acts of kindness and honor of each person that was killed. Wow. And yeah. So you know, I, I haven't smiled so much you know in the last year or so. Then when I'm doing my random acts of kindness. Doing? Is it like one a day for fifty eight days? You may have said that. That's the idea. But you know, some days it can be hard to get one in maybe just not in a situation. So yes, the ideas wanted day, but so far I kind of find my weekends are little bit easier to go out and do it. So I do about five to ten every weekend. That's incredible. And you know something, you know, as simple as this sacrificing my five dollars that I spent on Starbucks Coffee every day, you know, buying a gift card and giving that to someone else. You know too simple small things to make someone else happy. Yeah, exactly. Dan, you know, hopefully you know, the goal is for it to start kind of a ripple effect. So hopefully that person who you know, received this random acts of kindness, we'll pay for word and that person will pay it forward. You know, this is love is great. Yeah, yeah. And there's a whole community of people that are each doing these acts of kindness over these fifty eight days. Yeah. So you know, we're, we're all over the world and they're not world the country, you know. So I think that is the very unique situation because, oh, I guess I didn't mention it, but the shooting that I was a part of Las Vegas one yet when you said fifty eight, I I imagined that that was the case. So you were at that it was a music festival or a concert? Yeah, it was a festival, so three days and it happened on the last day of the festival. Right, right. I'm just gonna put out there right away if that's okay, that whatever you'd like to share about being there that day itself. I'm I'm very happy to listen, very interested. I'm not gonna. I'm not gonna. I'm not gonna force the issue though. 'cause I would imagine that those details are hard sometimes to to relive so if you don't want to, I'm totally down with that. And then if. Body who might listen to this in the future is like, oh, why didn't you ask for the nitty gritty stuff? It's because this is not a game in. This is not, and you know, hopefully this is an entertaining podcast, but your your feelings are far more uncomfortable are far more important to me than than the entertainment factor. So whatever you wanna share share it, but I'm not gonna pry. Yeah, I appreciate that. I'm an open book. Any kind of question that you probably can think of asking? I probably have been asked already, and I don't mind sharing anything about it just because you know, I think it's important to talk about and you know, I've dealt with it and still dealing with it, and you know, have had lots of therapy. But you know, I, I, I find talking about it is healing for me. I think killing for other people as well, just to kind of hear from someone who was there and you know to know that, you know, I'm still smiling on still enjoying life. You know, this is this event is not gonna define me, or, you know, bring me down. So. Yeah, so I don't mind. I don't mind sharing anything. I mean, it's been, it's crazy. It's been ten months now. So some of the details like, you know, you walk out and they come become a little bit fuzzy, but you know, that's like. Details that there's just maybe some Mike PTSD type. Those memories aren't aren't combat right now and. I mean, there's PTSD, but you also have to remember this was the festival and Las Vegas. So far I probably wasn't gonna remember. You know, even if the shooting didn't happen. I can't believe we are finally laughs. I can't believe we're finding us right. Just on a more basic level. You're and it was a country festival. If I remember right. Yep, you're in Vegas. You're having some drinks. Oh my God. So just on a basic level, people are a little fucked up. Sorry. Sally. Yeah, yeah. I mean, and well, at least myself and my friends that I were with, you know, we didn't want to waste any of the alcohol that we brought really, really. That was that was a priority in that situation. Yeah. I mean, obviously, this is about four PM so you have no idea. You know what was going. We had no idea what was going to happen later that night. So finishing the alcohol, we did. Right, right. You know. And that's the craziest part for me about that weekend as it was one of the best weekends of my life, and it was one of the worst weekends in my life. Yeah. Yeah. It's crazy. You know that that Jack to condition of the two in my mind, it's hard to wrap your head around. Right? I've never thought about that that it was a festival in Vegas. People are drinking people would probably doing a little bit more than that people are impaired. So when. Well, yeah. When when the situation starts folding. I've never thought about this. Would you say it's a situ it must be people must not even their reaction time must not be on point like it it. It must've taken people a minute to figure out that this was real or what was even happening. I would imagine. Oh, definitely. And you know, a lot of lessons Sam knows firework you know, we're like, keep partying firework and then one day in I'll dean ran off the stage it at least for me, that's when it hit, you know. So. So I thought, you know what? What I thought it was fireworks, I thought maybe it was part of the show right as the last day he was the last act. He's he's a fun performer. I thought it was just part of the show until my husband threw me down and laid on top of me. Wow. Wow. Yeah, so someone someone must descent. So the performer on stage someone sent them word or symptoms signal like you got you gotta get out of there right now, and what happens? He in the band just take off and you'll realize, oh, that's not a thing that ever happens. Yeah. I mean for me, that was a very defining moment when the music stopped. The lights went off and he ran off stage. That's when it became real to me. Yeah. Yeah. And he got on top of it. So this guy saved, he helps save someone. He got onto your you, you must again silver linings. You'd mentioned your husband has one of them. His behavior sounds like you must be so impressed by the courage that he showed that day a few times around. It sounds like. Yeah, I'm definitely very lucky and very proud. You know, if you if you talk to hand, he would say he didn't do anything. You know he was in the military and he was actually medic in the military. So if you ask him, he just says my training taste in, you know, I just did what I was trained to do. So it if she wasn't there, I don't. I don't know what I would have done. So I'm very lucky. So can I ask so he the performance takeoff, it dawns on you that this is not fireworks. He gets you down on the ground. He's on top of you and then you just what's his. I mean, I mean, he has. He has military training, so I'm sure he has like, who knows? I can't make any sumptious, but maybe less panic than someone who doesn't have that training. What steps does does he kinda walk you through these stay still do try to get out and find cover what? What are the next steps. Two things are going on, right? So one you're being shot at and we don't know where it's coming from and to your surrounded by twenty two thousand people, and we're down on the ground. You don't wanna get trampled. So the the first. Like sign. So basically throughout the shooting, there were brief periods where there are no shop. I don't know what he was doing. I idea, but basically what we did was every time there was a lull. We got up and we ran toward an exit every time he started shooting again, you know, we got down every time, all got up. Keep running. You know. Oh, yeah, that that's basically how it was. I, you know, my knees as you can imagine. We're pretty messed up because I'm I'm running up. We'll feed. And then all of a sudden, you know, my husband is throwing down, right? So I'm lucky in that, you know, I didn't get shot, but I got injured in the my knees were so swollen. I couldn't walk or a week after and I'm sure that's your. Is that his training kicking and going. This can't be like a gentle thing where I say, hey, it's time to get down and he has to get you down and get you covered and he's not. He's not. He's willing to sacrifice your knees at that point. Get you out of there. Yeah. Yeah. And you know, maybe in the wife I'm yelling at him like I know what's going on. I can do this myself. You know, I, I wouldn't be a wife. If I wasn't doing that, you must look back. You must look hidden. This guy is this guy is. Shepherding you to safety using military tactics, you must look back and go how? I probably coulda did my tongue on that just is training a little bit more. I would imagine. Oh, yeah, I, I definitely apologize. Wow, wow. And then you make you make exit, you get to a place where you feel safe yet. Go. What happened is we went out an exit and then got death in a coldest act and had to start jumping fences to get away, or you know, just to get far far enough away. You know. 'cause still at this time we have no idea how many shooters there are. You know what's going on. We're still, you know, in this panic mode and you know, I'm a very clumsy person. The amount of injuries I've had in my lifetime is insane. I've never jumped. Offense. So gracefully or quickly in my life before just pure adrenaline onion. Yeah, here a genuine kicks in. So we drums like two fences, and we got to a place where my husband sell that I was going to be safe, and he just found these random women who were walking or we weren't walking at that point who running by us, and he just said, I have to go back. Please take care of my wife. And I, I ran with these three women down, you know, one of the main boulevard away from the strip until we felt safe and just found a hotel and they're still, we could regroup. Oh my God. I'm very thankful for the three women. You know. We're going to go ahead. We're gonna pause there and you know when I throw to commercials that usually like to make a joke or something, keep it like, I'm not doing that. This time we have ads, we sponsors. It's why we get to bring the show to the world. So check them out. Just the promo code, you know, the spiel when we get back, we can get back into one of the phone calls that has most touched me in the history of the show. So let's just do it. Support for today's show, comes from Brooklyn named the winner of the best of online betting category by good housekeeping, Brooklyn. And is the fastest growing betting brand in the world with over twenty thousand five star reviews their mission to bring five star hotel quality sheets to everyday life, offering luxury sheets without the luxury markup. Their method, eliminating the middleman, keeping things personal from designed to manufacturing to customer service and beyond. 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I tell you I've had some in my house. It's good. Stuff. It's easy to grab and go, like I said, actually left the box of them right by my desk and that way. If I'm running late in the morning, I'm trying to get here to the the studios. Try not to be late. Grab that cafe, monster drinking on my way to the train. That's a fun train ride. After that Wideawake cafe monster, chill it down, shake it up in joy. Thanks again to all of the advertisers who help us bring the show to the world. Now, let's get back to his phone call. Found hotel and their until we could regroup. Oh my God. I'm very thankful for the three women, you know. So when you when you were having when you were hopping, the fence is that was just you and your husband at that point that wasn't like a stream of people? No, no, no. Like I mean, all these people, you know, there's pandemonium everywhere. So people are jumping the fences, you know, right to the Ryan left of us. So I would say there's maybe you know hundred two hundred people near. And I hate to even ask this one because. When when you when you laid out the facts, it stopped me in my tracks, but I feel like I need to ask like when he turns to you and says, I need to go back. What are you thinking. He didn't even tell me So all of a sudden, I mean, I think that is one of the worst part about it for me is he told these women and turned around and went back. All of a sudden I look around and I'm like, where's my husband? Oh, so you don't hear that. I didn't know if he maybe gone shot and had fallen or something, and I'm so like focused on getting away notice. So he didn't even tell me and once the women like came up to me and we're like, it's fine. You know, he went back. He's doing a good job or, you know he's doing the right thing. Then I was like, of course you would go back, you know, obviously I was a little annoyed which sounds silly, you know, I was in Noida that he wasn't going to be there comforting me, but I knew like that's just the type of person he is. And I knew he wouldn't have been able to live with himself. If you didn't go back. And that's an in. That's when he found some other survivors and was able to use his medic training to help them. Yeah. So this story that came out that I learned of after is there is a girl who had been shot in the arm. And he was standing there. So he didn't go like fully back into the venue, but he basically stood outside and was like, if you're hurt, come to me, I can hope you if you're not hurt, keep running that way. You know, keep running away because people, you know, were in shock and they got out of the venue and they would just stop. So he was kind of there to be like, okay, you know, keep moving, you know, you're okay. Keep moving and if you're not, okay, I'm here to help you. So he probably helped many people. But the one story that came out after was he held the girl that had been shot in the arm, and the details that we had were originally been given. We were like, oh, you know, he's like I didn't do anything. I just walked her to the ambulance. But this girl was seventeen, and it was one of her first country concert. And when we finally reunited with her, we have learned that she had gotten in a car and this woman was going to drive them to the hospital and the woman freaked out and basically told them to get out of her car because she wasn't going to drive them anymore. So then this girl, the seventeen year old girl was like, what do I do. So she run and finds the security guard. I was like, I've been shops. He's helped me and you know the curator Girgis closer to run. And she's like, okay, and then she finds, and, oh, sorry. That's okay. We'll bend my husband. We'll bleep it because my husband and you know, my husband is the one who takes her by the arm tells her, it's gonna be okay. You know, puts pressure on it, stop the bleeding, you know, you know, inspect it and then gets into an ambulance to get to the hospital. Wow. Wow. So it was definitely a crazy night. Your husband sounds like a really incredible person, and I just wanna make sure I say that. Thank you. Yeah, you know, I I definitely lucky. To be married to someone like that. You know, there's a common phrase that's like I take a bullet for you and it's like, I know you would, you know, after that, I know he would. Human and ready to, you know, I knew he would before beforehand, you know, but it's like. It just makes that fraying real. Yeah, which is crazy. Yeah. Wow, wow. I mean, he turned around and went back. He shepherded people out, and then there's an actual child who has been let down twice and he steps up. That's. That's, I mean, and here's the thing. Those people were panicking. I'm not going to judge anybody for how they're behaving in a situation where they feel like their life is in danger, who am I to judge? And I'm certain a lot of people doing incredible things, but I have to say to hear your perspective on on how you got out of there and then his behavior following that it's it's pretty astounding. It's pretty sounding. Yeah. And one of the other like parts I was really bad for me or you know, that just made it even worse for me is I was with a group of fifth, my husband and I were two of the six, but I live four other people, you know, my best friends and their boyfriends. And I got separated from immediately. You know, I went with my husband and I got separated from them. Then I ended up in this hotel off the strip and what a lot of people don't realize is that they locked down the entire strip because there were reports coming in, you know, the the sounds echoing down the strip, so their reports coming in, there's been a shooting at the aria. There's been a shooting at the Balaj, oh, there's, you know, a car that's wired for bomb at, you know, I'm GM or whatever. So all of this like false news, it's circulating around. Yeah, and you know, so they shut down the entire strip about midnight when we decided it's probably safe, you know, for us to make it back towards the strip. I'm trying to get back to my hotel for the night. You know, luckily I. Had you know phone batteries. So as able to at least tech and check in with my friends and make sure that they were all okay, you know and let them know that I was okay. And all I wanted to do was get back to them. Yeah, of course and see them, and everybody was okay. At the end of the day. The worst that the out of the six of us, the worst injury that we had was one of my friends took shrapnel. Because they ended up in a shipping container. And. As the bullets were striking. The container little shards of metal were breaking off of the container. And unfortunately, a lot of it ended up in my friends like. Who. Yeah. And as has she has she recovered from that. So it would be I sorry about that. He, yeah. No, no worries. You know she was like, I haven't been fought, I can walk. I'm okay. So he went home and waited a few days before he went to the doctor, and they basically told him that it was going to be more destructive for them to go in and remove all of the strap. No, even though it hurts really badly then to keep it in there. So he's okay. He just has a whole bunch of little bits of metal that come out of his leg every so often. So they they come out on their own from time to time? Yeah. I mean, his body has started rejecting it. Yeah, the real pretty. This is one of the realist conversations we've ever had on this show by far by fall. Wow. Kennedy. Every every question I ask at every as you give, it gets just another little bit Reeler. Yeah, yeah. So, yeah. So we were trying to get back to them that night because you know, obviously my husband has the medic training. My friends knew that, and they wanted him to come back and look at his leg to make sure that he he was okay with waiting to go to the hospital, but we weren't able to get back to our hotel that night. And so you know, fine. We tried for two hours waiting hoping that they were going to, you know, take the strip off lockdown and we could get back for hotels and nothing. So finally at like two am I call my mom, my mom I mean, hope we need somewhere to stay tonight. So we end up, you know, I think it was like a window or something that's just right off the strip. But we had no clothes to change into. You know. And so one of the worst part about that whole experience for me was having to wake up, put the clothes back on that is the night before that was that were torn and bloody, and you know, dirty. And look at the news and see what happened. Yeah, yeah. And let's talk about that closed the way real fast. Yeah, I would imagine. How would imagine you don't you don't keep those for posterity. Anyway, I do want to ask just, you know, now that you've kind of walked us through the bullet points of what happened. One question I have is in the course of that whole process from when it starts to when you get to that, win them. At what point did you feel safe? At what point did you feel like, okay, I'm not endanger of getting shot anymore. I didn't feel safe until I was back in my house that following day. Wow. So it was just a night of pure panic. Yeah. Wow. Now you brought up the news again, one thing I noticed before and I might be, I might have heard you wrong or or might be misquoting you if I remember right before you said something about being in your survivors group, one of the positive aspects is that it fee said something along the lines of I, it feels a little more genuine to the experience than than the crazy news afterwards. I, I don't know if I misheard you wrong on that. Yeah, I mean that's about right. We want through this experience and no one else is gonna understand it unless you go through it and I would never want anyone else to go through it, but it's nice to have a community there that has gone through it and understand, and you know, can just hope you get through it and we're through it or find the help that you need or there's a lot of nonprofits that have been started after and there's a lot that husband done for the people that either lost someone in the shooting or were injured in the shooting. You know, it's just it's a great thing to be a part of this community focuses specifically on people who were present for the Las Vegas shooting in particular. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you know, it's a closed group and you have to basically prove that you were there. But yeah, it's it's family members of people who didn't make it and people who were there. Wow. Yeah. Well, I mean, I heart as it must be an for as much as it as it. You know, it's funny because you want to say that it's a reminder of the traumas, but it's not because it's not like the trauma goes away, so uniting thing, which it must be really beautiful even though it is such a dark thing, what's what's it like reading the news about an event you were at what's that like we're watching Mars? Yeah, it's hard. It's really hard every time. You know something comes up about it. It brings you right back there. It's not even just about watching knew about the Las Vegas shooting. It's any shooting in general. It takes me right back. Of course, of course. That's not good. Oh, you know, it's heartbreaking. And did you did you did you? Sorry, I just want to ask you. Did you feel like did you feel like the news was fair or the news was genuine to your experience? Or did you get the sense of like, oh, this is they're trying to sell papers or they're trying to get ratings right now, or was it both. It's really hard to say for me because I mean, I was so glued to it like that pal out of getting all my information. I wanted to know every single detail, you know. So it's hard for me to say that just because I was hooked on on finding out the information and you know, I wasn't really looking at it for for me. It was an information thing. I wanted to know how many people there were, you know why he did it how he did it. You know, all those questions and not so much from, you know, if they're trying to push an agenda or sell story, or you know, get their ratings up or whatnot. Even though I lived in, I still have. I had no idea what happened. Right, right. You know, I feel like that's actually good to hear that you were able to feel comfortable getting information from it and it wasn't. I would have fear that it would be like this sense, Asian allies, new cycle thing that's almost like fetish sizing it or or something like that. I mean, like the first day or two after I would all about it. And then after a few days and where you know I was processing what was happening and trying to start the healing process. It did get a little hard and some sensationalized and you know social media to try and avoid all the news that was being spread there. You know, I just had to stay off of it because afterwards it wasn't really the new a about it. It was all the debate that. Happens after it. Right, right. That was hard. Right. And is that and share their opinions on Facebook? Right. And I would imagine specifically the big one, obviously the gun to beat. Yeah, yeah, that must be. Your opinions on that must be far more layered than most of us. 'cause everybody in America has an opinion on that. I think at this point yours must be more more complex than most of us. Yeah. And I will say this everyone expects me to be very antigun because of what I went through, and I don't think that's the case. I think it's actually made me want one even more, a responsible, you know, be responsible gun owner, but it it makes me realize how many. I hate to say it, but like idiots can get their hands on guns, you know, and how easy it is. Like that's what I have the issue. Yeah, and we don't have to go into it. 'cause it's obviously it's very intense subject, but I will say that you've also probably heard the podcast where I think at least a few times now I've gone not saying I wish they would just. Mel tall, the guns to a big buckle medal, throw to the ocean. But that's just my, it's my opinion. We don't have to have the same opinion and. Yeah. And you know what? I look at it as I'm a fisherman, right? I go out there and you know, I go out on the ocean and I go and slay tuna and my Rodman real isn't going to hurt someone, but I would never, you know, it's very similar to hunting and I would never take that away from someone who is responsible and can go out and hunt for sport. You know. So that's kind of like how I look at it. Yeah, I get it. I get it. I get it. It's so funny. It's like. I just grew up in the northeast is not as much of a thing. People hunt in New Jersey, but not everybody. It's not like an entrenched part of the culture when you meet people who hunt where I grew up. It's an outlier for sure. So I just didn't grow up where people had guns, and that is one thing of like everyone has the knee-jerk reaction that basically boils down to like, why don't they just do it the way I grew up with where nobody has gone or if you grew up around guns, why don't why are why are these idiots allowed to have twice aren't? Why aren't people trained? You know, I do think one thing I thought and again, my opinions do not matter, but I just wondered what you think is. In the case of the Vegas shooting in particular, it's like the level of equipment that guy was able to get his hands on. Seems insane to me like you're saying hunting. That's the thing I like if you live in a remote area where you think the cops can't get your house in time when you call nine one one, I get why you'd want to have a handgun. I really do, and I'm not totally opposed to that. Or if you live in an area where you hunt and your family is actually eating that food, there's I, I would say there's even a part of me. That's like I think there's something more noble about that than just buying meat from a supermarket where you don't have to think about the fact that it's life that's been taken. I get that I get a hunting rifle, I get a handgun. If that's how you feel like you have to protect your family. I don't get all these accessories to guns that turn them into like video game, weapons, and military grade weapons. I, I just don't understand. Why why any person using one for an actual tool would need that. But this is me, yes. As me and my opinion. Yeah, I definitely don't get that either. I don't get, you know why he has this huge stockpile. And the crazy thing about it is you know everyone when a mass shooting happened and all the debates third about the gun, Billy gallery of how they are choir. The quick -ment always comes into it, and the insane thing is here acquired everything. Legally, there was only one thing, a type of bullets that he was using that were not legal and everything else was legal. That's what I have an issue with. Go ahead and hit the pause button because we're gonna be talking about this because of course we are right. This thing that always gets talked about surrounding this issue, but got to say the way that our caller talked about, it was very eye opening as far as the core amend behavior of talking about this stuff and how how we should be respectful in the course of doing so. So really fascinating thing. And I hope you're excited to hear more about it. In the meantime, we got ads how the show works. Let's check them out. Deodorant, something we use every day, but it's not something a lot of us think about. So I gotta tell you about the aluminum free, the odorant changes the game Campari camparis coconut, the odor in his Lumina m- free deodorant, but it doesn't suck k. instead of plugging up the sweat glands, camparis deodorant, takes care smell without messing up, your body's natural patterns and it works. It fights odor with plant based active such as sage oil and coconut oil camparis dealer in his great for sensitive skin and doesn't leave behind a sticky white residue. 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That's Campari k. o. p. a. r. i. beauty dot com slash beautiful Copari beauty dot com. Slash beautiful. Thanks again to all of our sponsors. Now, let's finish off the phone call. There was only one thing, a type of bullets that he was using that were not legal and everything else is legal. That's what I have an issue. That's exactly where we cross over. That's where we, like you're saying if someone uses it as a tool for hunting, I get your perspective on that. But that's where the Van Dyke crosses over of like. Why in what world is it? Like if you have the money to spend that you can become like an eighties, movie action, hero level, human arsenal. What the hell are we doing there? There's gotta be a middle ground. There has to be a common sense middle ground that we just I mean. Fine. This guy wasn't saying, of course, I don't know how call common knowledge it is, but he was using incendiary bullets. And was shooting at the the jet, fuel tank of the airport. His China make big explosions happen at the airport. Yeah. So like imagine how much worse it could have been. If you know a the, the bullet actually punctured the, you know, tanks and then exploded. Yeah, it's so funny because one of the things that and again, not trying to make it about myself, but I've, I think I've said this on the podcast I go nuts because I've spoken so much about mental health and being Medicated, and I feel like there's these, you know, news stories that when you look into it, I think it's pretty clear that that some gun pro gun organizations race to figure out was this person Medicaid. It was this person mentally ill effectively was it's person crazy, and it drives me nuts because it becomes this thing of it. This is not a guns issue. This is a mental illness issue and it's like, well, yeah, of course, of course, of course to do what that meant did. He was mentally ill, but I do think it's fair to say it's it's not one or the other. It's the fact that both can cross over so easily in this guy. The fact that someone that and I don't love this word because it's when it gets thrown in my direction, it it stings. But. When someone crazy can get that arsenal, that's, that's the way problem is it's not a mental illness as you or a guns issue. It's the fact that there's such a wide open playing field with all this stuff that those things can cross over so easily. It's a problem. It's both. It's both. Yeah, yeah. And I think you know, being apart over and actually, you know, being on the basically on the other side and actually experiencing it and I'm like, you know it. It doesn't matter. Like I never day like there's something wrong and it doesn't matter if the guns for the mental health or, you know, even if you, you know, you take them away. They could still have acting with them. It doesn't matter something needs to be done. Right. And it's, you know, without, you know what's is about all of it is that we all settle for letting it be guns versus mental illness issue. We're just like you're saying cancer really is like, who cares? Okay. Let's pour money into both. We're stripping down the mount of money going towards mental health care in this country. Molina let's increase that. And let's really put some money into researching how to regulate guns a little bit better in a way where progun Americans don't feel like they have the rights threaten why don't we put money into both those things? 'cause if we make it went versus the other, here's what happens. We all fight on fucking Facebook and who gives a shit about that. Yep. The biggest issue I have debt must be the most when you go on Facebook and you see anyone who has some Mike crazy incendiary opinion fighting in their Facebook comments about this issue, you must just be you must have the most justified moment of just shot just shot up. Oh yeah. I mean, and even like, you know, I'm not someone who really is on social media law or will post anything like that. But I put a few people and their place after after it happened and not publicly. I, you know, always do it in a private studying, but it's like, do you not have respect for the people who are going through this hard time right now? It this big debate always gets sparked. It always happens. People on put it on Facebook and share it, and you know, get all craz-. But it's like. The people who are victims and survivors of this events are also on Facebook, right? Or any social media thought one. Right. And it's like it really came down to like, do not have respect for what I'm going through. Like, do you really have to put these kinds of opinions on Facebook and fight about it tooth and nail with everything like, why can't we just. Leave it be like, you know, the Facebook warriors. What are you really doing about anyways? Other than anything on Facebook. Thank you for saying their support, the people who are going through this, you know, and not spread more hate in in this world. We don't need more, hey, we need more luck. Right? Can we fighting? We don't mean eat more uneducated to bait. We don't need more division. We don't need it. Anyone, like I feel like anyone listening to this. It's, you know what? So I feel like what you're saying is is so true. And I've been thinking about this so much lately so much lately and it's coming to shape a lot of my at my the the comedy I've been coming up with lately is that I think there's a shift that has happened in the past five to ten years where everyone now, I think because of social media, everyone's assumption is that their opinion is the starting point for conversation. Their opinion is the most important one. Let's go from there and it's like, no. When I grew up and I say it too much on the cat on the podcasts, especially lately I'm Mike, I grew up like an Irish Catholic. I kind of grew up feeling like my opinion is the least important one as I should shut up, shut up more. But we all maybe like I want to hear from, like you're saying the people who are affected by it. People. There. Those are the first people whose comfort I care about not my own. That's how it should be. You know else I want to hear from experts people actually studied this shit. Not not not not the, not the guy who who graduated a year after me and height, not not a guy who graduated after me a year later later in high school who just wants to spout off about all this, some guy who I barely met three times in nineteen Ninety-six and vaguely remember because he's the younger brother of a girl from migrate like, I don't need to watch him, causing fights with everybody. This is the last thing I need. Some guy who was thousands of miles away from this was like anxiously. I got it all figured out. You motherfuckers, let's go. It's the craziest thing that we settle for that that we will allow ourselves to that level of empathy. It's crazy. That and then on top of that, like if you don't agree with me, I don't wanna be your friends. Yeah. Well, just block you from my life if I. Yeah. If I was friends with everyone who shared the same opinion for me as ne- like my life would be pretty boring. Yes, you know, like who cares? Everyone is allowed to have their own opinion doesn't affect my friendship with you. If we have opposing opinions thousand is I, I don't get that one thousand percent. We can't. We, we just can't descend into this culture of all. Put out there things. I, we, it's like, I'm gonna just say my opinions and anyone who disagrees with me rather than rather than figure out any potential validity of each other's opinions. Even if there's some painful truths have to swallow their some painful milligrams define, I can literally just click block. I can, and you know what? I can screen grab it. I, I can block you and then I can put up the screengrabs so I can talk about what an asshole and what an idiot you are, and then everybody who hired me can go, you really showed him, what did you do? You did nothing. You shrunk your world both in the amount of people in it and the amount of discourse you're willing to have good job. You really did a good, a lot of good really did a lot of going and that's for people on all sides of the issues. It's really driving me nuts. I cannot believe this. We only have nine minutes left. That's insane. That's insanity. By it really did. I cannot believe what you lived through. I mean, I could talk to you for two more hours. I really could. Hey, is that go for it? You mean what? I was just gonna say, you know, I'm really low. L- lucky to be here, you know, and I'm happy to share my story and you know happy to live life the best, but I can. They can do, and you know what? I'm listening to that and I haven't lived what you've lived through and. I bet a lot. You know, almost everybody almost everybody listened to. This has not lived anything close to similar to your experience. And I think all of us would be well served to remember. We could take that advice and we didn't have the trauma. You had, we didn't. You know this whole idea of trying to live your best life trying to be thankful for it. We don't all we all need to stop and think about that a little bit more. That's my opinion. I was gonna ask, I would agree with that. One thing that's been on my mind is the the survivors group is the seventeen year old girl in the group. Have you, have you ever been in touch with her again? No, yes. So anchor is actually the one who read this story on social media woman who I used to work for hag me in it and was like, maybe this is your husband. 'cause his name is, you know, not super common and it turned out, yes, that what you know that was my husband so, and may. I think I think it was my anyways, e- either April or may I can't remember the exact date, but we actually flew back in Vegas. She had no idea and surprised her and they got to reunite. Wow, that must have been tenders every way with amazing. Everyone cry forever. Oh my gosh. Yes. I just want to say this to go for it. It was what. No, it was just very just another. Thing that just shows you know how people have, you know, come together and these strangers are, I never would have known, you know, are going to be a part of my life forever. I wanted to say to you, just, you know, this was a very publicans in it. You just revealed that it was covered by the news. It's probably easy now for people to do some internet detective work and figure out who your husband is. This girl were who you are, and I just want to say this is a public, isn't it? You mentioned that it was on the news. It is what it is, but for anybody listening, if your vantage podcasts. That's not permission for you to start sending messages to my callers. Okay. There anonymous for reason don't internet detective it. We have a caller on line sharing an intense story that is a story of pain and tragedy, but ultimately story of beauty. I want people sending you weird Facebook messages because you opened up to us on the show here everybody every again, I'm an underlying that's everybody on the internet. Stop being weird, a little cooler. Nobody needs to harass you about this. It's okay. It's our in all ready happened, you know, so bad way, but the messages that are got once it was revealed that it was my husband and you know, just these random people on Facebook that I don't know. You know, I've never met these random people who saw the story where messaging me, these beautiful things, you know, and that was that was the best thing for me. That's random. Random messages I get on the internet are rarely beautiful, and I know many of them are many. That's not just focus on the bed. One ninety percent of them are people who are like, thank you so much. I listen to your podcast it. It's really been a nice thing among those ones come in and they're beautiful. And then the other than there's ten percent that are like, why is your bullshit ass ugly face true TV, impractical jokers forever and on my call God. Oh God. I'm friends with those. I'm friends with Sal. He'd be so mad if you said, if you knew centimeter anyone who cares made it about me yet again, yet again, I found this show about me with foreign half minutes left. Yeah. Well, I don't know. The internet trolls will always be in the natural, but you know you, you have the power to either take what they say. You know, it's a heart or just, you know, let them just be word people, you know. The truth, let them be words, don't don't let the trolls get the satisfaction. I cannot believe that somehow one that this is a new level of low for me because this is having before we're survivor of the Las Vegas mass shooting is giving me a pep talk. I have somehow managed to pull that off. This happened before on the show or someone who has lived through something that I have never seen him pray. I will never see is going. Don't worry about TRU TV. I was just kidding. I was just trying to moment of levity. I know I, I handle them pretty well. Well, yeah. Just the positivity. It just needs to keep in spread. I'm, I'm amazed at you. I'm amazed by you positively. Love you say this community has helped get you there. I would imagine that there you would think that. An probably probably is also factor. Have you had nightmares or anything and he trauma things like that, or is this or. Yeah, yeah, right. It can't just all be positively love. I mean, no. But at the same time I think I, you know, I've been through a lot of therapies which has helped a lot, but at the same time I just take the stance that if I live in fear or terror or you know this, this guy has power over me. Right? And he he doesn't deserve that. Right. So you know, I tried to and I'm lucky because I was very happy, go lucky person beforehand on. So I think that gave me the, you know, tools to deal with it afterwards. But you know, there's nothing I can do. I can't go to the past and change it, so I'm just gonna move forward to the future. And you know. Be happy and live my life. That's incredible. It's really incredible. I give so much credit union and so much credit to that community that has formed to to help help you and other people embrace that. That is incredible. And if you have a chance, do random acts of kindness and spread the love. Yeah, what's what's your most Reno one been? What's been the most recent active kindness on? I went to a beer festival last weekend and I handed out Starbucks gift card. Wow. So that was fun. And I randomly met another survivor while I was doing it. Wow. How does that come up? So do you explain why heading cards? So yeah, I've got like basically business cards that say, you know, please accept this random acts of kindness and memory of someone's name. You know, one of our angels from the shooting, you know, and someone's like, oh, my friend was there. And then then I got introduced to the friend. Wow. So. I don't either like, you know, I don't either recognition. I would rather just be anonymous and you know, lay them all around, but it par. It's part of my healing process. And I would imagine that face to face connection with other people goes a long way. Yeah, it's great. I can't thank you enough walling. This was. This one has has really has has has really been overwhelming in a positive way and one of the darkest and most infamous incidents, anyone has had personal experience with that that has ever called. And yet you've also somehow managed to be one of the most positive people that's ever called. And it's inspiring, really is you're very inspiring. I appreciate that. And I appreciate you creating the platform where I am able to share the story. I, I just put it that phone number out there as all I do. I I don't. You're the best an incredible person. Thank you for calling. Thank you. Caller. Thank you. Thank you so much for calling. I again, I know you said I don't just say sorry about just I am so sincerely sorry that you end anyone had to live through that, but I will say a huge massive. Thank you for being who you are and showing me and revealing to everyone listening how you handle this. What a good reminder about how to treat people how to interact with the world and how to deal with the darkness that life can throw our way. I can't say enough how inspiring more. Thank you so much. Thank you, Jared dot com. And get a Harry Nelson. One of the ones where we all stop and kind of looked at each other right after it ended. Thank you. Just window helps organize my life and all the ways that are necessary for a disorganized mess like me. Thank you to shellshocked from the intro music. I'm on the road all the time. I'm doing standup. I'm doing my favorite podcast. Chris dot com. Has all the dates and all the cities. Check it out. You like the show go to apple podcast. Rape review, -scribes it helps. But honestly, after that call, who cares? Go hug somebody, you love. Next time on beautiful anonymous. Someone hard past is really looking forward to a new future. So you're getting married on the clock fifteen. You know, I'll tell you, I'm a jersey guy saw I'm prone to compare things to Springsteen song. But since you're in the middle of the mid west, say the sounds like John cougar Mellencamp song. Yeah. And the whole time you're sitting there going, hit the brakes. When are you gonna hit the brakes and you just never do it. Yup, I never did it and I just kept thinking, oh, man, what do you say? What do you do? What are people? I mean, how do you stop it? Once you've already put in motion so far that's next time on beautiful anonymous. I haven't mentioned to you guys a while that we got merch beautiful anonymous merchants. Off your phantom for the show came. Like right now, we've got an illustrative mug available on pot swag. Your one stop shop for podcast Merz head to pod swag dot com. To find a wide range of clothing, accessories, and novelty items, courtesy of all your favorite podcasts are Ella. Straight mug was made in the USA with art by Louise Nielsen fan of the show we much appreciate it's perfect success to your morning routine. We've got the sorry, Sally t shirt in there as well. Go to pod swag dot com slash beautiful. The shop, the full collection that's pod swag dot com. Slash beautiful. What's up everybody. It's Lennon Parham and Jessica, say Claire. We just wanted to tell you a little bit about our podcast. Womp it up. Now you may have seen Len in an eye on our television show playing how or on our show before that best friends forever. And we play characters very close to ourselves on those shows. Now, in our podcast, we play alter egos which are equally close to our, but. But. Insane. I play a character named Maria Wampler who doesn't exactly know how old she is, but she's a senior at marina Delray public high schools in a terminally fifteen-year-old foul mouth ferry model shaped person who is living her best life. Well, at least she's living it out loud. That's right. And she is in rolled in a alternative learning program at marina del Rey, public high school called the stars program led by me, Charlotte shar dog listener who was a former sniper now, turned alternative educator, sole guide, mentor, and mother figure to Marisa and all of our guests. We feature one guest week playing a character from the marina del Rey community from our crossing guard played by Nicole Byer, who is, you could say that I'm a Coon good to our head of our. The daily dolphin newspaper. Chet knows worthy played by Jack mcbrayer in the crazy thing is that dog is blind, but I'm training him to be a guide dog. I just think that animals need their independence as well or my on. Again off again, love interest, Eric gutter balls. Gutter. Men played by Jason man's Zukas. Think about what you're saying. You cannot invite a teacher over half an Ambien. It's a who's who of the comedy improv world here and you're gonna love it. 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