"When Punk Was Punk"
I'm Dana Schwartz and I'm the host of noble blood a new history podcast from iheartradio in Aaron Minke that focuses on the stories of some of history's most fascinating royals the murdered the murderers and everyone in between the world is wasteful of ill fated love affairs bad decisions and family drama but when you're wearing the crown mistakes tend to mean blood listening subscribe at Apple podcasts or on the iheartradio APP or wherever you listen to podcasts so open your hearts listen to your butts. Listen your butts. I changed written down in front of me and I said it wrong. It's time for couples therapy. Yeah this taken both talk at exit. Vacationing with brunches cousin linked to messy situation since unconscious coupling from Netflix to stay with the Mulu Tech Sex rexel billion on your new Jubal you were eating. They repeat welcome to couples therapy. My name is Andy. I'm I am now me and we are a real life. Couple real couple of COMEDIANS and on couples therapy we bring you the best sets from our live show where we have comics who are close to set together a bathroom relationship. Sometimes we have guests in studio. That's one of these. Oh me who you gotTa Fund One. This was lovely these were can we say new friends of ours say like I think this is officially. These are new friends. You guys we are sitting down and talking to Ashley Birch and more Burke true power couple okay ashes a writer and actor voiceover actor known for her work on shows and video games like Stein's gate attack on Titan fortnight final fantasy and she's on the upcoming apple show mythic quest. Ah You're on that to Naomi ooh more burke is an actor U._c.. non-drug history that he dynamite comedy Bang Bang Mindy Project and one of my Andy's favorite shows and listed with another one of our friends and also a couple's therapy regular Michelle Bhutto so we sit down with these folks and it is a good time before we get to that wonderful beautiful compensation housekeeping baby girls. Let's see here. What should we do first and what about our live shows? We've got some live shows coming up. You guys August. I we will be in New York City at Union Hall to shows seven thirty and ten P._M.. Oh Man I'm very site. Jean Grey is going to be on one of the shows wonderful hip hop MC. We got dulcie Sloan from the daily show on one of them. We got Alex English who you know from the Rundown Robin P._D.. Nitrate Wyatt setback and it's just going to be a wonderful time also the next day. We're going to be Philadelphia good good comedy theater doing couples therapy name. You are also going to be doing an hour of stand up. It's an it's a night of US Good Friday August second so you can hit US eight thirty and ten PM and we're back here on August tenth in L._A.. Yes Virgil so if you want tickets to any of those shows go to couples therapy pod dot com while you're there you can also sign up for a Patriot on for the low low price of five dollars. You get two extra episodes a month with just MIA Naomi we again real deep with issues. We goof around. We Sing Song. Sometimes I mean we'll tell you happy birthday. That's what we do on the Patriae Riyan. It's a real wonderful time. People seem to like it a lot so you can sign up on couples therapy dot com for that you can also find the call in line every once in a while we do advice episodes and if you call in you can leave a voicemail and ask us a question we will answer it on one of these episodes so right and if you want but you can find all that stuff couples theropod dot com. What else do we have to tell them anything else? I think they know everything else. Yeah we met we met Ashley and Mort for real at a party. I think we reference that the whole thing but that's where we met and we were like we want to talk to you guys and honestly it was a fun time. I think we we were in a weird emotional space coming in but I feel like we all got on the same page. We had some the laws. My soul feels rejuvenated really. Does I feel I'm floating. I hope yours will feel to you and Ashley. Did you guys meet working on. Was It mythic quest now. Oh Yes yes. We did mythic Quiz mythic quest I I think the first thing I did was with Ash I think half of my body was covered by a green screen. I think yes you had to stand. I heard your voice from afar tar in this. I wish I wish all normal office comedy plus me as a Centaur would be ideal before we get in deep. You guys introduce yourself slasher voices for the listener right. Hey I'm mort burke and I'm actually Birch. We're dating dated aided and are continuing here making that choice every day haunches decision of course more than I met on enlisted I played the lead on that. Show your sexy or now look great. Wow that's a nice thanks. I think my only acting credit is. I was in a a photograph in the Pete Holmes. Show what I got paid. I did you gotta pay to photos got paid twice okay. You know that's all I want because like when I love procedural when my favorite show is criminal minds this is his last season and I was like okay. I have no power enormous girl fifteen years coming to a are you OK longest relationship but my big big goal was but you know they always have the faces like the previous victims. I was just fucking victim fate. Yeah you know what I mean yeah. You're a photograph actor. That's like you're really only credit. Can you get me in then. I don't know ash more I mean first of all. I just need the listeners to know. I need to tell you on the record. Thanks for coming in thanks for going on emotional journey with us today actually and more you know late in the day in the afternoon I was like hey can we push to six thirty instead of six like a goddamn animal because we were in the middle of a cat issue and we just had to run around and we just had to get him in. You know the doctors at five o'clock and of course that's it's the only opening they had at the vet you know when I got somewhere to be fucking fit for the listener I I was. I was typing away at my computer and I looked down. I saw spots of blood on the ground and I look over and I see our dear darling growing squeeze. His ear is bleeding dying dying terrifying moment that very much whatever your phrasing was a little corner. The cat is not dying. I am dying thought yes. Oh sorry that's fine lines. Yeah okay so we went to the vet and everything's fine but just that moment of panic and so that's that's the that's the emotional space I'm living in today. Spots yeah we own two cats and I felt like a small bump on one of them once and I almost had a heart attack so I can't imagine anyone actually bleed. We lost our dear Samantha for weeks or something that I didn't know if Ashley was going to survive I was it was I can curse right of course I'm so fucking bomb so bummed for so long I like walking around the street like a lot like a fucking orphaned child shooting a bag of cat food calling to her the night to ghosts in the neighborhood neighbor's neighbor's roof like on the daily she has a human name would so many Tim McGuire searching for our daughter so serious got now and just hit the whole weeks the fucked up thing was that I was in our bathroom and I heard from afar and we saw her on the river neighbor's house so we knew she was even roof but we couldn't get to her. She's so fast jet black and Wiza- pound so it's like tiny she's very small so for two weeks. I was like going out there with a bag of food. We got a trap dude and we went onto the neighbor's roof like steel seal team six ten pm we asked him if we go into the wind. Stop coming him uncomfortable the X.. I was thinking yeah. I was so bummed Charlotte who you met. I think onset was like fuck those people this is your baby. Do whatever you needed to add much Kasama. You found that there was a cashier. Pornography Psalms Weird little cavern no one time my old cat professor whisker so I was moving thank you I was moving. The Voice of Professor was area of study surprisingly rising anthropology mostly though French the French and sociology board do anyway the point is I was moving from Pittsburgh. The point is podcasts name in the middle of a dead Milkman. I'm no children. The punk was God. The two of you wrong was a real musician and not acting in the chase so Andrew on with professor with I was moving from from Pittsburgh to Philly and we packed up the the house and I took out my air conditioner and I forgot to close the window to go and take a shower. When I get out I see the windows open and I can't find professor whiskers anywhere and I start this is the second floor to start flipping out? Naturally I run everywhere and then I like glance outside. He's just chilling out on the porch can his leg. Nothing's wrong just one of that direct Sun Louis Freedom and then did some one day show up at the door though we'll so we got a possum trap. Originally I put K._F._C. in their because my friend was like you get a whopper and they'll come running and someone else said K._F._C. and I was like all right so I bought K._F._C.. I think for the first time in my entire our life and then I got trapped in their chicken but I put it in there nothing and then my friend was like you should actually just put a can of wet cat food in there so we did. We're going on Christmas Eve Walk John and I saw. I saw that the door was closed and it could be and I went and Samantha's fully lashes a Halloween cat. I saw like white and like Brown patches almost be another cat creatures head turns and it's a full on fucking adult crazy looking possum mouth kind of opened a million teeth. It was terrifying the the mouth open thing like this we. I don't think he's just here. They're scary and creepy think from stranger things could have been. It probably was freaky Moore said let me open this. It'll take you away Mickey. What's possum Queens China Mary my lady he opened the gate and I was like that? possums ever GONNA fuck. That's like a palm hotel. Put a blanket in there but then I went to bed early that night distraught from losing Atlanta and more woke me up at like twelve o five in the morning on Christmas Day. Hey Samantha was in positron. She got him there as a Christmas miracle a drunk as trackers and now she's the cuddly as can change gene on the streets now. She's like Oh. I had the good life didn't know it yeah. I was out in the street. Yeah didn't realize how rough it was trapped on roofs there for a little to be on the are you guys stress eaters <music> like how do you deal with over those two weeks. How did you deal with the stress? What did I do think we binge T._V.? I like watched a lot of parks and rec I think or maybe new girl one of those one of those I think I tried to remain calm for Ashley's emotional rock now playing your gender. You're like I'm the man of the House you're gonNA hold it down. You can't it's hard to tell from my voice but I'm hyper masculine who are for the list or he is lifting weights right now. I'm looking at it as a centerfold playboy center. How did you two crazy kids me on the street all the streets of each other yeah it was the central Los Angeles was the streets it was literally the plot of Aristocrats Disney film? We met through a friend I was I was playing you guys play games now. I Count Raven Hill. I don't think you should object in matching. I do now does in order to appease me but like if find Mike we should be social then you will play a game with social like video games. It means okay. Yes just me then. Just you know came or Queen. Okay you need to know those fat I refer to as the ultimate Gamer Queen you all the time yeah he does that feel title. Wasn't it something when we met when you guys met you and Ashley you mentioned Stein's Gay and then later we found voice on Stein's gay so okay King in himself for the audience. We were talking about Naomi since moving to Los Angeles has become a real anime Stan an anime state and there's a handful of ones that I think trans something. What's the second word in the end say the one we're because I was just say grass Trans Grass and that doesn't feel right? That's not the flavor transcend the kind of just like the regular like what you think of as anime right right death note and I said I was trying to I was like all right Stein's gates the other one <hes> and then I found out that you were a voice on that and I felt very very embarrassed I didn't I don't know why I was embarrassed. I don't go around walk out of that. People's like I._M._D._B.. Resumes in my head weird. If you're like Dude I love this movie and then the US talking to the Star that movie nights what to do in that situation situation because I feel like it's kind of an arrogant thing to be like I'm in. Maybe that's the more polite thing to should I have done that. No you should've perfect okay should have elbowed me and I would have said it. Would you remember that I was in the animates Stein's j whenever you elbow me. I'll know you start listening. Just say she's in that video game all of Naomi's I was like Oh Adam Ruins everything. Please Eddie please that sick. Can I tell you guys though to be at a party Hollywood party and get to talk about anime because I feel uncomfortable at parties and the second you brought up animals like yes something I come party to beautiful neon Liane Lights. It felt like an eighties Hollywood very attract a little bit but he was hot as hell in grey dresses felt like I was like Oh. This is what this is that deleted scene from entourage that intensive entourage delete seeing from entourage plus from Dr Five had came together. Cardi Rica was their side aside seen from Big Bang theory. I guess we're talking about anime really weird mix. I'm getting all over the place but we were talking about games. Did you guys meet through game. Oh so we were I was playing. This game called last Guardian to be played in Indy. I'm a Nintendo Guy. That's the right knee if you're going to pick one but the last guardian is just it's like I don't know how to describe. It's kind of more of a like an artsy game but you're a little you're like a little boy. That has a massive dog. Creature is a friend I love that and so I was playing this with our friend. Andrew Moore came over and the dog is really cute but it has like bird feet wheat was watching play. It was like this dog's feet really bummed me out. I hated this very gross. That's the fucking funniest way to phrase that this guy was a huge because it's what's the never ending story. It's like that much fun and then also it has disgusting Grossberg but saying these people bumpy out made me sad foul core with weird feet yeah yes exactly so that was how we met. He was very funny immediately. Now's like one day when you were smitten kitten I was were you a smitten yeah. I was like dude. It was so natural right away. I think that's the thing that it almost kind of went over my almost even like it went on my radar radar because it was so easy I think I think probably also kind of I think he wants to that. You are a little worried about being weird and creeping on your friend's friend. I don't know maybe pursued you very intense. Actually Yeah <hes> and were you always that way straight shooting sister making barely like well tried triple as I just I thought no but then I went back through my my lexicon of being rejected in my life and Yes yes I have. It's strange because I see myself as kind of an anxious bunny but I asked out many guy before more. I think it was rejected Egypt really everyone every time I asked a guy out before you I think I was rejected really wait everytime that's crazy a handful of times. That's insane. Nice <hes> yeah yeah that's absolutely true humbled over and over again you were brought blow to say if we could see like a clip show version of that every single time you like whatever or just optimistic ten of those in a row no absolutely not horse not very nice to me. One guy tried to come back later and I was like Nah ship sailed my dude. Yeah not really does. How did that all happen? How long wait what was the reject? What was his rejection of you and then how long until wait and then what was your rejection of him? It was all very mild I was like do you want to go oh and he was like Oh. I don't really see that when I was like okay and then he dated a friend of mine in high school and then I got to like this middle school that I asked him out and then like junior wait sophomore junior year of high school. Maybe someone was like he might be into like trying. I WANNA go on a date and I was like no thanks and then that was good. It was very very mild. Yes No. I'm just like putting on a petty Lebel. Even though it's like you've gone through puberty. Maybe you've grown. I will never fucking for I love it holds some shit against him either even eleven my way my way were today because we've been emotional cat in your cat. Energy is like bubble yeah yeah wow that's he week. Samantha was John Yeah Man so Chris and here's the other thing I noticed I was thinking recently about cats is that people are projecting. People hate cats. They're projecting so much shit. They're cancer fucking assholes. You like it weighs a pound and a half your annually fired from your job. This is my theory about P._S._A.. That those people are assholes because I think cats pick up on your energy and if you are a decent God fearing Carson yes on whatever God you right doesn't matter they will they will pick up on that and come to you yeah but if you if you are Satan fearing if you are cruel if you are a shriveled cockroach of a person right they pick up on that and they stay the hell away there. Also your huge compared to them. Thirty foot man came in here and you know what I mean like scratching my ears. I would do everything in my power to stop that mania. We'll also the cat doesn't need to fuck and dance for you exactly like you but they're liking of you is just more subdued. It is let me lay next to you. Let me pay we in Japan. We Ain't yelling at hope reduction. They don't need you truly then and if you're needy they don't like that they don't like that yeah and you know it like respect respect boundary other little models like like runway models year the hot little models. I'm sexually attracted S._X.. Thing and this is what couples therapy is. You know you should pick up on this on the break attracted the cat ECE that's going. You're wicky wicky back. Hey I'm andy if you don't know me. It's probably because I'm not famous but I did start. A men's grooming company called Harry's. The idea for Harry's came out of a frustrating experience. I had buying razor blades. Most brands were overpriced over designed and Outta touch at Harry's our approach is simple. Here's our secret we make sharp durable blades and sell them at honest prices for as low as two dollars each each we care about quality so much that we do some crazy things like by a world class German blade factory obsessing over every detail means. We're confident and offering one hundred percent quality guarantee millions of guys have already made the switch to Harry's so thank you if you're one of them and if you're not God we hope you give us a try with the special offer. Get a Harry starter set with a five Blade Razor waited handle Shave Gel and travel cover offered just three bucks plus free shipping just go to Harrys DOT COM and enter four four four four at checkout. That's Harrys Dot com code four four four four enjoy and we're back so I was just a foolish goofy it does and how long have you been dating long. Have we been eating over two two and a half and are you living together. How long has that been happening years? Something Oh fast. 's Okay you. You went in hot yeah yeah what what. How did you know it was time to get in there? We went on a very long road trips together to Saint Louis Missouri where Mortis from and that's how many it was like. Let's drive there to see if we can break this relationship. You like a pressure cooker okay. Let's get a real crucible going. We are in a Chevy Chevy spark which we love this car but it is not like large or Ra luxuriance. It's really we're very close to the person doesn't have a C._d.. Player it's like no cable broke like nine the <hes> cable the port broke when we got to Missouri and I was on the way back but but we didn't get enough we didn't get in any fights and had fun the whole time and then when I got we got back. I like dropped him off because it was it was my car at the time we dropped. I dropped him off and then I was like oh I kind I miss them like after spending like two weeks straight we SORTA wanted to hang out the next day yeah after having been trapped in a car a year and a half in going to Missouri so so yeah I felt like Willy Mayes. Let's move in together at that point all right. The seems like we're in good shape here. Yeah we get along. I say like gangbusters yeah. He does like to say that it's more fun. I said rigmarole earlier and I was like no one says that yeah no I use the word Scalia Wag that sets the cat's pajamas before more don't get attracted to this is the call that did it to myself. You had other long term relationships. I asked this because like before andy the lungs registered. I have been in before Andy eight months. Really we push in. We're at nine and a half years. I will say like the first couple years like I over thought everything does he just like is this normal what happens next what our love over and over what our loves are how many loves but like but that's dated much so like I was in Calico. I was in a tune to like even what I thought I wanted for myself. Let alone are you happy. Do you love me yeah. I that doesn't change okay and you know you taught me over in the you WanNa to bring up some shit around drag me just play it. I told you out for jobs. Are It's okay. It's what we signed up for with each other's sell out your I feel like I had had my the <hes>. I've had some long term relationships the one board so I was single for three years before we met <hes> before that I was in a relationship for about four and a half years and that one was actually pretty good. It was kind of the healthiest relationship I'd had so. I think that helped me to trust this relationship more which is nice mobile by that. I've been in longer term relationships that they've all been a little wacky like none of them. Were particularly healthy. Okay so this is probably the first long term healthy relationship I've been oh wow I would say and you're not freaking out. Oh I freak out more knows ivory which is extra fun but yes so this is yeah yes so this is like the two and a half years of of a healthy relationship is good. I think we're we're both trying. You know what I mean. We're both in therapy and we do stuff therapy. I repeat further ability like be with yourself so you can be women another purse. I really like this. I one thing that I'm trying to be conscious of his. It's easy to blame your partner for pain. That was there before them yeah more more sister girl Anton alive and it's so easy when you're like you did one kind of annoying thing and all of a sudden it brings up a lack of love that existed in twelve that mad at you over Yeah Yeah Yeah Happen at twelve was kidnapped and assaulted. We not wait so you're the Naomi I feel. I feel like you and I'm worried. Have same kind of energy <hes> feeling jovial kind yeah actually are freaking out at that party was like Oh good someone I know my boot keeps falling out of his job. uh-huh literally how I say Alot because you seem very composed and very eighties Oh yeah but I was very relieved. I was like I wanted to go the second week out there and the Michelle was like no it was like Oh God we we go to her. Immediately talked to someone else. I know now and I'm not acting like I'll freak out party Alfred over. Although do you find that having somebody else frigging out makes you feel a little less freaked sometimes right because that 'cause it's forces you to be the emotional rock doc they can cling to the waves splash against the pain of life so yes so I find when I find there is a certain kind of calming effect to Naomi to you kind of losing it. Oh my God so you're welcome service so there's not been around her neck. No because what happens for me is my brain kicks into and AH WE'VE learned in couples therapy is necessarily healthy but my brain kicks into. How can I fix this mode? How can I come you? How can I make your anxiety lesson? How can I drain the ocean and that so then that's other side of that thing? Which is oh that person having pain that was there before me as well? You know what I mean that to me. Helps me not try to fix that stuff as much. Yes and you can't fix it you can you can just listen yeah eventually learned right it can be there as in the rock of trying to come up with a long wait to see it come to but yeah yeah we've been like it's been interesting just because you guys both being therapy so we still have our couples person skype with New York because we're addicted to him and that works. Have we ever mentioned him on the show. Okay everyone if if you are in New York City okay you need to be calling up James McGovern okay guys. He has a sliding scale. He is dope. He will give you life. He's coming from all angles and he's literally responsible for our love by right now. We're not an individual individual therapy. We haven't found a person Yup ear because everyone has nine therapists. I'm surprised I got I got. I got hot wreck for you. If you want he's actually but I will say is like Nick. Were relying on each other more than we did in New York like to be the the fucking receptacle for everything and to like help me figure it out because you're it's easy to get more isolated in L._A.. Okay and then you're kind of isolated with your Martin. Yes just moved to right so that's extra hard years but yes just feels like it was yesterday almost two Oh wow July fourth for you yeah. I got here here so so yeah so it's been but it's like we're together all the time and like these are are are we are each other's friends and it's like Oh. No that can't be that's how a love lasts you gotTA. Have your separate lives yeah. It's when you when you make one person responsible for every part of your life like elevating every part of your life. It's it can get really sticky yup totally and I do feel like that's a Los Angeles thing where you have to really make an effort to become part of a community in New York. I lived in Chicago for a long time. Whatever you kind of walk out the door and you're just as like you'll see a buddy within twenty minutes? Whatever that was New York too? That's there's this fanned magnetic fields and there's a song called one hundred thousand firefly's <hes> you and I forgot about I re listened to one of the two thousand firefighters the other day for the first time in a long time and I forgot there's a line. That's like uh-huh. Why do we still live here in this repulsive town? All our friends are in New York Andrew. I would have to say twenty times in a row over over no and then I went on superchunk doesn't cover Everett listen to that Youtube and listen to all these different people doing covers of the song just listening for that line in a different way. You're speaking to my heart Stephen Merritt big exploiting music for the sadness sad and it's been it's been Elliott Smith for forty eight hours. You have a knife poise at your but I think you have to find the advantages of Los Angeles because there's a thing that happens where you can't. It's like having a new boyfriend or girlfriend or you can't compare them to the old one that what you like about L._A.. Because you never going to be New York it can't yeah baby. They must feel is let slightly moved to the cool kids area. New York is like waiting a shape shifter then shifts that changes based on whatever your moods are. uh-huh lost what don't scare in Los Angeles like dating a Troll who understand your journey no offense offense to any trolls that are listening well. Yeah you gotta find the parts of L._A.. That you like I think and things about you know what I mean. It's active. I know we always talk about L._A.. Like every episode we'll find a way to be like we're not happy. We're fine and also I'm probably not happy anywhere. You know what I mean. Is that kind of person I get it. So you guys with you type of thing Hon I moved to Australia and managed to have a problem really make yourself where you go. That's how I am. It's not even like Oh. I I hate it so much. As much as <hes> nothing is perfect and know where you live is going to be able to counteract the emptiness and self hatred. You may feel right and then you really gotta face it in way well. That's the that's the thing that I'm from newborn race. I think I'm just it's just my natural way what I'm used to really drive yup but also it is a distracting city right New York yes to end immediately have something going and then also just like it. He's such a struggle to survive but kind of like that because if I have to just like literally make sure my train doesn't start going express and I don't end up involving Queen Yup. I don't have time to be like why is it my career I have to they get to where I need to be totally last time it was there I was and I love the energy. Obviously he's like nowhere else and I was like I've always loved it but last time I went was a few years ago. It took me. I was like it just felt like people were screaming at me for three days straight. It's great about I know but then of course that's the ultimate distraction right if they're like honking horns and fire engines and children's crying listen to the silence I put on podcasts all the time so that distracts me for my anxiety diety <hes> as long as I got some fun stuff going on in my ears. I don't have to worry about the looming specter of death his side boys that my neck's last night I had to call you out India's getting ready ready to go to bed and again. He can't do any of it without playing something but I'm in the bedroom. I'm already calling it a night and this is a decent hallway and I can hear whatever podcast he's listening to top volume and I was like Andy. You're in the route with it. Why is it this loud? It's like you're playing it loud enough to drown out your brain and he was listening to something if I don't have my my laptop going whatever it's not that loud right. I'm right next to it and he's like the whole bucket hallway. We are listening to this right now and I'm like you must've trying to read. My plane is like the craven's drums in the Spiderman issues craven's last hunt. Where is there? What are what are some of the points of connection for you? Guys we liked to Goof is a big one yeah. We'd like to live Yup. I mean we're we're. We kind of do a lot of bits. I guess together Yup so I guess comedy and then I think what pretty in sync spiritually I suppose. I think so if that's what else we don't actually have a lot of overlapping hobby thing yes Ashley is the ultimate Gamer. Queen gave a million dudes on the Internet who you know what I mean. Who would love to sit down and play some video games? I'm not super into it. You know a little bit of Mario Odyssey though totally and she'll let me talk about skateboarding which I'm obsessed with with so we their stuff that slightly over last. I think that's because we love each other yeah yeah yeah so mostly. I mean we'll do some T._v.. But even it's funny because even our TV interests aren't always aligned but when when they are aligned at it's like magic like we watched Red Dwarf recently for the first time it's Oh it's so great Scifi comedy the British Immediate Selling Point Andy definitely yeah he's gotten me into T._v.. Host of London is unbelievable all US go nuts Glenn Bendon go. Can you hear me any word over enunciate all their names ray purchases the funny purchase and you described rides and episode to me and my loved it envelope. That's the name pen Vullo literally old black woman someone who was in love with we got to watch the whole thing. I watched a couple of more. We have watched the whole thing. It's fucking funny yeah. It's pretty unbelievable so I think we all would like funny shit. Yeah we will whatever watch stand up and yeah we like funny stuff and movies in general I think and <hes> yeah that's I think we get a we get along so well conversationally that we like any interest can almost become the other person's in a way yeah we don't like. I don't think we unless it's like a comedy thing. We don't necessarily get as excited about stuff but we're pretty. We're pretty open to doing what whatever the other ones do. We like different kinds of music but like the Ashley has good so the music. She plays me like fuck yeah. This is great yeah vice versa I don't know does it go by I or because it doesn't for Naomi's like he likes beyond say or whatever and I'm just like yeah of course lemonade slaps APPs like we'll find will wear it into the ground. He really wanted props for that. I can't I can't say it normally. Do you remember it's Selena Look at an Annunciation. Let us all love leans into it. Crazy little impish slang that thirty years younger than me right you know we don't but I don't understand the Indie rock. You know what I say. It's it's men who are up here and women who sound like ghosts and too gentle ghost to haunt me and so I don't so we don't own overlap on the music I- overlap into you my ven diagram dips into yours but yours doesn't dip into mile how you draw that. You probably don't exploit music for sadness like Amanda I used I do like middle school high school. I mean girl Gimme anti-franco envelope and then at some point you like Oh. This isn't helpful right. I shouldn't be doing this anymore. I'm feeling worse so yeah definitely stop but he's not as into music I used to be. I love like yeah same. Give me a good Broadway soundtrack like I like voices. I like a belting. I'm going to be sitting around the house like we make up songs in the house and that's a big part of our life. Yeah I think we do that yet. Will lead we mostly adapt existing songs is to be about our cats that John Nra here either love that her that made you physically sick to hear that we do. We like the Beatles helping we know about cats yep aw that's the that's our main to who I should've had children already by now SCAP per gel helter cat lert cats cats goofy kitts yeah. There's something in the air tonight so bright Samantha etc.. I got that that's a more settled paired where you just change the name yeah to be Samantha just to be. I'm willis creative more more. Does the whole we're GonNa take a quick break and get back into it with Moore Ashley. y'All do you sell stuff online then. You knew what a pain shipping can be. It's time consuming. It's expensive. It's a hassle until now introducing ship station the fastest easiest and most affordable way to get your products to your customers. Whether you sell stuff on Amazon Oetzi Shop Affi- or your own website with ship station you can quickly ship all orders from one easy to use dashboard saving you a ton of time. There's even an easy to use mobile APP. So you always have access plus. You'll save money. Worship stations deeply discounted rates from all the top carriers like U._S._P._S. U._P._S.. U._P._S. Fedex and more so you can always choose the best carrier at the lowest rate for every package. It's no wonder ship. Station is rated number one by online sellers and right now you can try ship station free for sixty days Geez. That's right free just go to ship station DOT COM and enter the Promo Code podcast. We guarantee ship station will make getting orders to your customers a lot easier that ship station DOT COM Promo Code podcast ship station make ship happen all right. We're pack Naomi Name A saw. I'll make game a Beatles song about a cat. As long as I can remember the melts okay. I don't know many Beatles Song. Don't at me bitches yellow submarine. We all live in a yellow cat murray. You gotta change altogether. I don't know the tune but I would just we live in a yellow litterbox. Aw I don't know we is way better anti comedy you went for Real Comedy. The cat's life play real agenda return to the same sort of thematic subject matter so it'll be like these leads a pretty goofy British sleepy. They really like cat food. That's icing say like cats. More thinks it's so funny that cats like cat food that they have only one food. It is cat food and they love. It thinks it's so funny. It was only human food. It was just called people food or every restaurant your food please a big bag that they empty. I can't wait to run to it. The way cats run the cat from fossil wild on boy the little mouse Kempton. You're saying that when you guys would on that road trip you didn't fight and I'm like crazy. Do you find do you have little fights and obviously we're GONNA honey. I don't have the I don't take the Kobe but what sort of like what are some of the little. You don't need a little story like we get into this and it's like dumb but we get into it anyway. Yeah Fair myself under the bus I. I have anxiety and it manifests as a need to control things and so sometimes gesturing to be listeners yesterday right to your face so sometimes they'll do a thing where like like if I've if we've bought all of the accoutrements make a particular sandwich and and more leaves out a particular ingredient I really start to fear that it will go to waste and that I'm a bad wasteful person and I am the problem. I'm with the with the world I'm the climate change is happening. My brain will just and so I will vary overtly try to force more on a sandwich posing it as potentially something that he wants to do. The album out in the streets and Avocado is great. I'm not trying to hate haters. Welcome you know yeah yeah. I was like Oh great. I'll put this and then after a while I was like I don't think I want to know while Oh wait. No no I have to say no order this Kado no thank you. I think this is the thing that my mom does that. I never realized so. I think I've it's one of these ways that you grow to. Are you paying what Beatles songs that I don't know it should be one yeah they would have made it fading into obscurity. This sounds like you now. How so Andrew what do you mean? Manifesting anxiety is control of your partner. Do we just break you guys up. Yeah I stared no. Do you want to bring an example to the court. You know what I mean. Do you have an exhibit. Oh I tend to this is how I stay sane with all reality whatever's travel and may I just put in a little box and then I forget about it buried under the rock. I'm eggs -IETY. What was the Rock Anyway rock of empathy or throw into the savings? I was so <hes> I don't know if I have an example. I just meant in general that I mean example to draw on you know what I mean. Not Play that resonates with me and I feel like I can kind of throw myself onto the bus a little bit. I think I get it freaked out about like career stuff or shit like that and then I'll kind of expect Ashley to deal with that emotionally and then when it's actually my job to do with that stuff and sometimes she doesn't really beautifully and then sometimes she stressed on our own then I realized Oh this is my own bullshit. I have to try and handle <hes> yeah. Maybe yeah probably yeah yeah. It's hard when you're both like in this hustle. You know what I mean which I think I can. I've been just distilling down to when you're both fundamentally waiting to be chosen. That's what this this this this work to do. It is just to be like I'm here. I'm here in tech avail waiting for someone to pick you like do you know what the kind of reminds me of like when you're in Uh school at Gym Class and they're picking teams for something and you're just there to standing waiting expectant and as a small ju I was one of the last ones chosen and I'm just standing there kind of like come on. You're a chosen person but you orch. Do they ever go not the Joo Jin Pennsylvania founded by Germans terrified founded by Germans. That's yeah man to we talk sometime and I've heard it somewhere else too but just trying to not make Hollywood your mom and dad or trying to knock marriage thing. It's like Hollywood is not your parents business. Not Your parents yes. It's it's true 'cause it's an authority figure. It's this nameless formless Amorphous Authority figure that controls your destiny well you you project your safety onto it because it's like it's feels like this thing that is going to give you money invalidation or whatever and if you feel unsafe fundamentally than you are under the delusion that that Shit will make you feel good forever right which of course no yeah yeah so the difficulty then is in usually in a relationship at least one person is like the rock that's right but when both of you are in this together then you have to. I don't know what we're still trying to figure turns being the raw like what it is but sometimes I think for the most part it does work pretty well but then sometimes you can't line up right right and that's when it's really that's the main thing that I think it's us as when we're both in a shitty spot I mean that's probably every couple but like when you when you aren't able to pass the baton back and forth for whatever reason and you both both have a shitty day on the same day it can like. I feel that so lately we're trying to be to say something along the lines of like. Maybe I love you but I just don't have the bandwidth for this gentle because like the fighting thing I don't. I don't like fighting eating makes my stomach hurt by that is gonNa Punch me for some reason my God that is U.. N. D. O. Literally doubt even though I need everyone I've never laid a hand on this but but it's just like that's what his anxiety impulsive. I could take a punch when you were growing up. Did your friends were they hit. He friends my friends. Were kind of like like not like punch hit but like if you if you like made a joke we're GONNA rock. Oh that's good hit you in the arm or something like the recipe dudes mine win. Were too much feel like <hes> but I I don't like it when I see I've seen people do it. I'm like I'm glad it's not me being wrestled to the ground dominance. I have ancient P._T._S._D.. Right right just a good and bad hits being smacked all the time indiscriminately by the people who claim to love you like playing basketball my friend Kirk and I would go for a layup and he would just punch you in the leg and give you a Charley Horse God. I don't like people like lear literally not winning anything that he felt the need to do that. Gotcha yeah right. We're displayed Russian yeah when I was all like the friend group. Yes I think it also partially does maybe come from like dudes aren't allowed to touch each other affectionately so he's just hit each other. All you could touch somebody to be like we're the I love you do oh. I just punched the microphone so crazy yeah you're right. It's a symptom of toxic masculinity where like you can't just hug your friend so you got to punch him. Yeah that's it. That's hot takes or just putting a button on that is there. Here's a question. Is there a story that you think typifies your relationship together. Oh that's a good question. <hes> you have one. I don't now I mean we're talking about that like do other people. I feel like I should listen to think about this more. We're talking about the first bit we had was a weird silly little bit that we loved and just built on top of it yeah and to me that that tip. I don't even know what's worth repeating. How it is? What's the bit <hes> we just had this the idea of this little creature imagine <hes> almost like a minion type of guy from <hes> despicably I guess but he's just like I imagined this? This vision a minion sort of short little mole man who is maybe green to is maybe green and he only say the word okay no matter what so we give each other prompts and then the other person would interpret them and say okay. Isn't it was mark his name was mark so mark is on is testifying in a murder case Jason and then the person says swear to tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth is the person in this room. Who committed this crime okay? It'll be him having his children children taken away but he's only struggling. It sounds as we would give him. Give him a nice thing. Market can have a daughter okay. I feel that one. I think it doesn't try. We loved lobbed thought it was no but that is definitely one of us is like that. Is Your vibe in a nutshell the relationship. Do you know what I mean like. It is like it's very silly. We are going to ride this out yeah as far as we should be like <unk> bits and goofs Google which is a big thing for me because I realized like there was a relationship I was in that was like not terrible but it wasn't the right one and I realized that part of the reason was that the guy wasn't very playful and I it was it was good to be in that relationship because it made me realize how important that is to me to be able to just be goofy with someone pretty essential thing yeah. That's definitely I think are too. I think so black cyclops. Oh Yeah Yeah Yeah if you've read. I'll throw another comeback reference. The Brian K Vaughan Comic Book Saga. I Love Saga. There's a black cyclops and we made up songs about blacks reading. He can't take the news because it's got him to show cyclops yeah so it's always that and then a rhyming like sure I love that here's this about more fun than singing. Ours is real limited to one word Okay L.. I know he's a sweetheart. He's doing his best. That's a little cutie all right anything. He's still on you know. He's in a courtroom but I also think there is something interesting about the fact that you know your earliest bit was about being agreeable. People saying okay to each other and you said you you said more like arguing makes my stomach hurt which makes me think that you might be like a relaxed. Possibly people pleasing yeah yeah for sure. I think people like to be pleased so do you are really oprah it up today. I'm having fun. I think that's true though like you really the interesting thing about our relationship to think is that when we get an argument more is almost always the person yes and that is trying to be conciliatory I his I think when my anxiety gets activated I I want to be taken care of. I and I don't have to give anything and more a Yes. Ash We are twins and more will be the first one to try to build the bridge so he'll he'll usually be the first one that will like try to be like I see what's happening. I see that you're in a lot of pain. I'm sorry and I'll be like banks and there's like an like an assumed like end. And now you will maybe but it takes a little longer but I think it's really nice because I think I've gotten better at it over time <hes> with therapy go to therapy everybody. I mean do whatever you want but I want. uh-huh is to sort of be like okay. I'm like you're saying this is pain that came before you were even around the anticipation that if I like anxious and then open myself up that'll get hurt really crazy eighty so I've had to learn to trust over time that like Lord actually has my best interest in heart. If we have a disconnect it's not because he's mentally trying to ruin you. Yes yes well. That's what we were talking about with those two women when they came by for that interview while I was like it's so it's a while because I assume we were interviewed for some other yeah but it was like this idea like when something happens recognizing your partner is not trying to destroy you. Tell you because all your fear systems that uh-huh protective shit is like yeah this person is going to ruin me foundationally and they know everything about vulnerable them. It's like yeah becomes a really really intense Mir I mean and that I yes I think the beautiful thing about Ashley I and also sometimes it's challenging thing is I think really really really alike. <hes> in a lot of ways oh yeah what do you guys too yeah just not as like what I was looking for other more in this room. No Oh I think so. I think it's like we I think we feel the same things I think it manifests itself differently. Yes I think that's ultimately you and I are very similar but whereas you tend to be more internal I just externalize at all about how this thing about a mere right is it sometimes it's the exact act opposite but it's still the same doctor Berg is in session also sign on. It's really weird that our last names are so close to get birk Birch J. It's weird it's been twice. My last name has been misspelled as burke since we've dated randomly article and one's a letter in the mail. It's at Ashley Burke. which isn't it never happened before we do you have have you like we've combined ours to Beck Baragan? ooh ooh that's good are similar ish cool British soccer team and against Awesome Bet Perry in fun too. I wrote feel like I'm <hes> I'm in this episode but thank you really yeah. I feel like the cat anxiety is really <hes>. Oh sure you guys seem a few seven and funny and great to me. You guys is a lot so it's easy to kind of push. Pass it but it's always there like a doctor dooms hand around my heart do we do we get the prognosis from the dock like stated. We'll look it wasn't just his little the era he's also just been being a little funky gear. Thing was pretty much that final Straw but let's just take him got it so they've done some blood work and we're GONNA wait. You know what I mean so our so that is like waiting in that work for me. I can kind of shut it off. It's just go. We're talking to think about this forty hours right and that's what I'm doing. I'm like I'm GonNa live in a world where nothing has happened and then like you know what I mean like and then I will adjust which I think is a healthier move because you can't worrying about. That's not gonNA change the outcome at this point. Maybe we're similar in this way and there's some when it comes to anything real <hes> this is how I am like the way a normal person should be at the tiny stuff. I really can't control and the tiny stuff that doesn't matter as much that I will obsess yes over until four in the morning that really good in an emergency up really great emergency anytime for some reason like a couple of times since we've dated I've had to randomly go to like the our urgent care and he's great. He's just like okay go rhino and like he's totally fine and he'll the dogs hunting dogs or there's a story where I'm great so more. Now we're walking along. There are these two a massive dobermans that were very loosely tied to a stop sign Jesus and they were on upside. Yeah like some guy had like gone into like kind of ran around the run into this liquor to run to those leaders are truly of course if you lose time you're Doberman. Lose your hostile German dogs so I was walking. I was on the side closest to the dogs as we were approaching. They lunged embarked and more without thinking picked me up. Put his body between me and the dogs because I'm an angel on earth that is some ride or die. She didn't even realize what he had done. He was just like are you okay. Are you okay and it was like he's and that is not what I thought I would have done in that situation right. I definitely would have been like oh I would've I would've sprinted away when he did yeah yeah. He was like I'll sacrifice my body. Everything was fine but yeah that's amazing dunams until after it happened I was like I don't know it felt like somebody else had done and I wanted to shake that person's. That's funny. I think my mom is like very lake. shifty eyed about anyone date and I think when I told her that story she was like okay as long as will die by dog is your are you and your mom pals. We're becoming pals again. I think we were pals and weren't pals and are now becoming POWs which I feel like as a typical mom daughter. I'm hearing I would not no. We don't have that Arthur all it's like we were we were friends when I was young and the moment I like you know start to push back and have opinions and not do what you told me Yeah Yeah. She's not having yet dude. It's hard for both parties is hard to be a kid like that. I mean it's hard to be a parent to watch your kid. Be like this is turning into a real a human being. That's the process as you gotta figure it out and I think the the thing with parents the reason that I feel like I can become pals with my mom that she is capable of self analyst nation. Is that a word I met analysis but now I'm getting the cat anxiety. I'll just play on uh-huh wafting breathing it in <hes> yes she can like self analyze and and kind of hear what I'm saying but my dad is the same. He's just like I'm your father should respect me respect deman- time anyway feels good to yell at into a microphone. Stop being attorney moral to hear it. Stop it turn final question. Have you ever used mark mark is the Minion is marked diffuse and argument. No we're a bit in general that happened recently. Maybe it did I think did you said something and I laughed and be calm down. Sometimes it makes me well earlier ship. I think it made it would piss me off a little bit like you. Try to joke and I was like don't make jokes I now that's real real I actually I I worked with someone which I think. This is the funniest I I'm just going to steal her story. She and her husband are arguing. She forces them to touch tummies so if an argument is test test your tummy and like and that basically she says solves solves eighty percent of their arguments because touching that is a good one. That's a good tip yeah. Do you guys have a thing a bit that no every once in a while. I just know that laughter if we're like arguing doing and then one of US makes a joke usually you'll say something that's funny and then I'll laugh and then that kind of like diffuse things yeah if it's like not a real meaning if it's not one of those fundamental fights and it's more a product of like one of us feeling touchy why it happened. Isn't that bad I think easier to just be like you idiot. You know what I mean like me. Sometimes you will think I'm mad when I'm not yes meaning. I'm just like as you could tell I I'm am I come in hot. I'm going to be speaking intensely like you're going to think it's also you know his intro to black women whereas like it's GonNa sound like a mad but it's like I'm not gonna Lag your little extra. Thank you know I am like the gum and so there'll be at times like that where he'll be like he'll like bristle thinking he's being attacked and I might bitch. I'm just talking at this level and hope when she screams bitchy it's actually a term of endearment at our household. I feel like in touchy. Situations Humor works too yeah. I think we're we're in like a proper argument like a core argument. It's Kinda hard to defuse that way but I think if we're both just feeling kind of sensitive than yeah totally and I yeah that's so hard when it gets that deep and I I don't know sometimes it's like you got to walk away for a while and then really try to talk talk through to communicate the walking away when you live together hard. That's the that's the work figuring out how to like. Go to your corners same same place yep totally even if I'm GONNA go for an angry walk walk it out. I feel that way too sometimes. If you just moved from a different room like there's something about the energy in a space where you've been like heated yeah go outside the Gulf. There's a breeze out here. Yeah get some ice cream. Yeah Green going or even talk to a friend not even about the argument we just had but if I just like goof with a friend for a second that can diffuse some of my stuff and I'll be like oh I'm being kind of unreasonable or whatever it will be easier for me to go back even if we didn't even talk about it like my head spin different. Sometimes you shouldn't talk about it. Sometimes I feel like sometimes like can we just not even get into it and just real that was dumb. That was dumb worked on like sometimes sometimes I'm like. I don't want to unpack this right sometimes cliches pop in my head one. Let sleeping dogs lie or whatever reason they say that dog exactly yeah. We're on the other side. You don't want unpack it. Just WanNa throw the suitcase into the ocean. They come together. That's how you thank you for coming in thank you I love this in France Yeah <music>. I'm Dana Schwartz and I'm the host of noble blood a new history podcast from iheartradio Aaron Minke that focuses on the stories of some of history's most fascinating royals the murdered the murderers and everyone in between.