Hey, folks, this Hampton here. I know that David I tend to joke a lot about suicide and make a lot of lighthearted jokes. But honestly, if you're having any sort of trouble, we would recommend that you call one eight hundred two seven three talk is the national suicide prevention lifeline, and they do amazing work. They they really will talk with you. And so we we just hope that you know, you have fun here at the pod. But if you're ever having truly deep suicidal thoughts that you would call one eight hundred two seven three talk, we love you. We want you to take care of yourself. Thank you for listening. No. Me. You get sick. Please stop putting the microphones directly down your. Up your heinous and up the SAFA Amos. It's one tube. I gotta clog to soften as. Worm? You got one two million. If you come in have you got to Dave's now. It's good. I think the world can handle you your damn right dude to two days. It'd be too funny. He will be laughing so hard they die. Yeah. I hate it when I'm too funny. No, you don't one time to funny in front of a Buckingham Palace garden. He blues fucking brains out because he laughed they do kill themselves. If they get flustered fire that was the joke that made them laugh went you. Like our president. Yeah. Totally who's great. He loves that. Kind of riot bald in your face American style. Politico we bit political humor. You know, what I was thinking about forgive me. But this will be a bid I do have mercy and up. Is it like, and I think this is actually a pretty obvious observation. It's like a thought that we've all probably had at least once, but it had never really sunk in for me until I found out that there's no White House correspondents dinner this year. Oh, yeah. Because Trump said he wouldn't go. That's because they were upset about the about Michelle wolf. And so they did this other show that was just like a panel thing on CNN, right and Jordan temple was telling me this. And I was you know, it's good for him. It's good like multiple commies cut to do it. But I was just telling me that I was thinking about it and like liberals get called cuts, right? But like always the most thin-skinned in the fucking world coward insane. He's a coward all his followers or cowards. It's really funny. Like it just really is sinking. In with me. How like sure I there's a lot of things I'm afraid of and one of them being confrontation. But like those people are like babies little crying fuck in baby. He should little bitch people and roast master general, Jeff Ross, the roast master gender Rostom. Yeah. Isn't that weird? He had the comedy central roast. And the thing is he's kind of a sociopath. Like, you really can't laugh at anything, especially has real trouble laughing at himself. Yeah. So it's like the funny thing is like he could easily just ask for a different comic or done a different thing. Like, yeah. You really is like a lot. I'm not gonna show up which he didn't do didn't. He not show up last time or something. Just Sarah Huckabee. He wasn't a wasn't there. Now, they're just like, let's just cancel it. Checks though. It's like even really sell them that it bugs me about because he is so historically this way. But I guess just like, I don't know. I know it's probably not revelatory. But it feels like a revelation to me it just occurred to me like like sure I'm a liberal and I am softy. I am Gajah. But let in I like truly like this is a liberal. I am I just said the word bitch, and I feel bad. What I mean? You are a little big. Yeah. That's me. Working my aggressive. You know, red state blood, look good character. Yeah. I think you're making my point is like that's how liberal I am even I'm more liberal than even liberals want you to be where I'm like any gendered insult, no one should ever say. And here's the other thing about me. I'll fucking kill you. Do you know what I mean? Like, I'll kill you. Tell you saw sitting. All of those things together. No like, eat me up. And you, and you are also know what I'm saying is like I'll like those are how that's how I feel politically. And I stand by. No, yeah. Any sense? You have empathy is what that is not being soft, and that's actually a sign of strength. I agree should about other people. You know what I mean? And it's and it knows them kind of soft. My point is like, I literally am I get upset easily? You know what? I mean. Like, I am. I just it just never really hit me these guys that are like constantly complaining online and saying they're the strong ones and saying they're tough like I'll kill them. Do you know what I mean? Like, I feel very I feel so much stronger than that. I won't kill anyone. I won't hurt anyone. But I just like heaven turn allies d- that we're the soft ones. And then recently like, no, I feel like I don't take. That kind of shit from people, and I don't also get all like. You disagree with me? And I really think that as liberals we should stand up and be like, no fuck you. I like we're stronger than you will fuck in kill you. That's really feel all bullying behavior is guarantees. Right. Right. Bullies are cowards. That's the opposite. If that is somebody who does have empathy, and yes, you beat yourself up. But that's actually just having empathy for yourself. Sure. Understanding how feelings work and how you know things are maybe not right and you have to fix the situation, and then you feel emboldened to correct that situation. That's actually just being a functional person for the most part. And it's the people who are trying to be, you know, ruin it for other people trying to out early harm other people for no real reason. There's usually some sort of like cowardice they're trying to bluster and back right up. You know, by just hurting other people like I can't think of a more frail individual than Trump. Yeah. He's like he has a. Doctors say say that he's basically superhuman motherfucker. We can look at you like, you're you're obviously lurch across the room like you're out of shape. At least, you know, like you're not Hercules, and it's like you're the president. And you're wearing pants you found? He's like, I'm not a lot. I'm not a liar yet will say like women's cause cancer. This like he's everything is like a defense. It's all defense mechanism. You know, and it sucks because people look at that person. Go what a proud strong guy. But it's like same thing with John Wayne that guy was like the most complete blubbering. Loser. If any director ever said, hey, John that gives you do another take. It wasn't very good. He'd be like, what do you mean? No. I know. That's what my favorite thing about the sopranos is like, we you. The we like their murderers, and the we like they are kind of in our culture, the embodiment of being tough is Tony soprano right nihilistic. But if you watched the show, they are crybabies, they're like, would you say about me? Why does it bother you so much that someone said you eat too much spaghetti or whatever they said, you know? That was racist. And I think that might have been racist. And. A window. And the weird thing is like I I don't know why I was thinking about when Piers Morgan is an example of these guys who think of like JAMES BOND or John Wayne or Tony soprano as like these are all masculine men and Mike they are all fictional care. And James Gandolfini, no matter how tough you looks onscreen. I guarantee you at one point he wanted to go to drama school. You wanna do Shakespeare to do the whole fucking rigmarole? So let's do did. I tell you this that I did it show Carl Heston I wants to show where Michael chiklis was in the crowd, and Michael chiklis is one of these guys who like he's like V tough cop on the shield, you think of him as just like you'll break into your house and he'll kill everybody. And. Family thing to. Yeah. That's what he is. Monster. He actually will kill you and Carl as a joke about being a theater going to feeder school, and we were talking the whole show like a checklist likes my jokes. You know, and. And afterward. I was talking to Carl. Beat me uptick listening. Fucking. Up against the wall suck my dick. Fucking punch sign at the end of that thing that tank when I come back going to be five bucks tags. There's going to be body tags toe toe tens on bondage, or tow tags. Don't make correct. Is. It's so funny. Yes, I'm just talking to Carl after this show and Michael chiklis walks up. Looking all chiklis looks at Carl and goes, I went to feeder school. Chiklis famous out. I know. Yeah. Totally so hysterical. Yeah. I think about like Tony soprano, James Gandolfini and Michael chiklis. You could have done anything really like as an actor. You're kind of open to whatever he could have been like a sci-fi actor James get but at one point people relation body shape. You look good with a gun and a Meatball. Sam I get you. Now, totally minute. John Wayne put on a cowboy hat people. Fuck. Says it's a James Gandolfini while he's auditioning to play curly. Sue, and he's like, oh, okay. Gonna be girly. I win over to roll this seat three. Ellison might joke. Mcgee scum. It added a front CAD piece. Got the big nice fed horn Indem trying to do all the dialogue a Luke AM day in this space is on fire. Gotta get out of the desktop building. Our building. Got. The N Y. No, thank you. Thank you for your time. No. Guys aged skinny better agents folks, by the way, I'm sick welcomed suicide buddies Davor us, I'm having young and sick this week sick. He's sick. And I'm in the middle of depressive episode five. Mentally sick. Last sex. And then you die. That's from NewsRadio. So we often mentioned on this podcast loving NewsRadio. It's the much better show than Seinfeld. And I stand by that. Stephen root never had a high school girlfriend. Well is radio. Yeah. For a lot of reasons actually fully might Seinfeld, folks. I know she was seventeen right folks are going to wanna bring up I've held on YouTube going to look Shoshana is. Pick up Seinfeld, lizard girlfriend. Seventeen year old girlfriend was in fact snake? All women are snakes. Keep my wife and my toilet gonna black forced com. Literally sweating right now is fever. Tried to do an Alex Jones impression. Well, story of your life. You're going to be eighty five years old sweating sick trying to do Jones impression there as long daddy five. You definitely will make eighty five. But no further. That's it. That's the end of the road for old ham. Oh, man. There was something else. That was going to say about that tough guy thing. I liked everything you were saying about bullies in that way. Certainly when you're growing up you never bully who's making my life shed is such a coward. It's weird because I think one one super negative of the internet is that it really helps bullies win. Because like the the people allot of the liberals that are killing it online are the bullies of the liberals like the liberals that are like if you do one thing wrong, you should be dead. Just like we're all like, hey, wait a minute. What? I didn't say I will kill you. But I meant it cosmetically. All like, I won't from. You is what I meant your honor. Metaphysical now, I know I really try and watch myself to not say something that would be way over the line. As far as go kill yourself or whatever because it's so easy. You absolutely want to. Yeah. First of all, I would never say go kill yourself. And I don't mean I didn't mean. Yeah. I guess that's like shaky ground. I was saying I will kill you in the sense of as if I were doing stand up, you know, what I mean? You know what I mean? Like this like the stand ups different you're up there. And everyone's watching you, and there's this context of this kind of extreme I'll get you. And I don't even really mean that I mean, like if what I mean is this I see people being tough online. And even though I am a person who is straight up of frayed of fighting. I see these people being like fuck you and your fucking cook. PCS bullshit. I don't I don't give a shit it should be male and female bathrooms, and if you disagree with that, then you're not an American and I'll kick your ass. My point is like, okay kick my ass, man. Do it. That's my point. I guess I'm just sick of it, dude. I'm like, I don't want to be in a fight. And I will probably cry in that fight if I will. But like fuck you, dude, I'm not your I'm not your whipping, boy, we're not your punching bag, and that's what I mean. Like, I'm not gonna kill you. But I will not fuck you. I'm not gonna take the ship for MU. But what if I get you? You on my twelve month Chritine, shake Rogan experience which rogue. Rogue isn't even this guy. He's not like, listen liberals are garbage. I have all kinds of problems with Joe Rogan. But like, he's not you know, what I mean. It's like town fans. Here's how you do a reverse spinning back. Kick a trouble. Giving you trouble to you and your trouble reverse spitting? Kick has twice the power of a front kick because whipping around using centrifugal force to break the sternum. Strong. More like Mia FC. You know what I mean? Jerk off often, I watch it, dude. I'm so mad at getting called week. Oh, this is what I wanted to say. I totally agree with this. There's this weird thing in like the way that we talk about manhood, America. They're all these diverging ideas that I think are so funny and like like, yeah. One of the things they say is like stand up for yourself. Right. That's a big part of being quote, man. But another thing is like you have to be our idea of a man or will make fun of you. And I just think it's so interesting that those two things exist inside of people saying what manhood is because to me the quote manliness thing. And what I mean when I say, quote, mainly is strongest the strongest thing to do is to be you and be okay with that that's incredibly strong to be surrounded by people being like, you're not one of us. And to be like, yeah. Well, I'm still me. And fuck you that is standing up for yourself. Yeah. But then the bad verse. Standing up for yourself. Stand your ground laws where people anybody who gives me. Trouble will die. Yeah. Exactly. You're not standing up for yourself. You're trying to create an image of yourself. That is this. God this hero figure. Yes. And it's like you'd need to really actually just be comfortable with your weakness. And that's very well said being comfortable with your own weakness in limitations yet. And honestly that is like my goal in life to get there. I am not there yet. But I would I really really strive and want to be someone who's like unabashedly me. And I just it's so funny as much as American manhood says that it's about being strong. It's about being one of the heard it is American men hood is my favorite Seth MacFarlane show. Currently. I hate it American it ruined my life. No. I. I would say gave you a career. Well that to I'm blown. Yeah. It also gave me my current depressive episode. Would you create? Bullshit when you're growing up. Does you think that you are? Yeah. Would it be creative? I would Elliott, dude. I would just be making telling jokes about like pin wheels and Thuc and green grass, man. I'd be making stained glass wheels, more like art wheels. You know what? I mean. I probably have a little that. I sell jewelry in Phoenix literally. You're right, dude. I would be I would be a fucking human resources span. I would I would have nothing. No for sure I mean, all of my I mean, I'm sure I would have liked the creativity. Is it some way on the like nature end of nature versus nurture for me. But yeah, it's mostly situation. Talking sometimes about with comedy, creative also comes out performance. Just like if you have that desire to perform say at a young age. It's like, whoa. Where's that coming from? I wanna tension. Do. I don't I'm sure I'll get into it. I don't really feel like getting into the depression have been dealing with lately. But I will say when. I will say one thing about it. I said in therapy yesterday. That. The stand up is the only when I'm perf- literally while I'm performing stand up is the only time I feel actually safe socially because it's the only time I feel like I'm important to anybody. Wow. I know didn't appreciate oh. It's like, I don't know how to like. It's very real. I mean, that's what I've been dealing with. I like I had a thing happened over the weekend that like it's weird, man. It was very minor. But it triggered me into. Into just thing that I fight off constantly, which is the feeling that I have no one, and and it's been just so bad. And so that's why said that because it's true. It's like, and so like what you were saying about creativity. Like, that's it's funny because there are millions of reasons why I like stand up, it's my favorite thing ever. But. I, but the reason I'm doing it is that it makes me feel wanted. And maybe right. Maybe it's wrong. If you're putting that level of emotion on it. It's maybe not healthy. You know what I mean? Because it's not that. It's not the thing. That defines why people love you. You know what I mean? Like, I and you're my friend, and it has nothing to do. How hard you crushed in front of me or. But I don't know man, because I think that I think that anything you like can be boiled down to dark, emotional reasons. So I don't it doesn't bother me. And I don't think it's bad. I think it would be bad if I needed to crush. But I feel good after stand up. Whether I bomber or kill really dude affect me because I have. Bombing hurts my feelings for sure and it can it can really affect me. But I feel I'm not I'm not kidding. When I walk off stage. Don't matter what I almost every time. And it's because everybody paid attention to me for seven minutes. That's cool. It's crazy. It's it is. It's sad. It's definitely very sad. I'm very like. I'm very like. Yeah. I do. I do take it so hard if it's like, especially when it's new stuff. It's all like m I still finding like it's more like, that's maybe where I'm coming from it. Anyway, stand up is just not a healthy thing to invest ton of emotion into it can't be your main thing. Roese like lawless will. There's there's no rhyme or reason to it. It's just such a fucking anxiety attack of career that it's the more. You can really find happiness outside of it. I do it and do it professionally and treat it like a job. Then you will be happier. Totally. But I see people on. I think that I'm Razi bet. I'm better about that than many comedians. But and that's kind of what I'm saying. I'm certainly at this current moment. I'm not it's really. Very present that reality. But yet it's weird. It's not like an ever-present like I need this. I don't. There are other things in my life. But that's I think like this subconscious motivation for sure. Because I don't know. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe maybe it is that and it is unhealthy. And I shouldn't like, you know, just shut that thought down completely because it's something worth paying attention to. But you're right like actively search for other things in my life and try to like make sure I like maintain friendships and have other things that move me through life. But, but when it comes down to it, at least, a minor level throughout the day all day, I have interactions where I'm link where the entire interaction I'm saying to myself. They don't. They're not trying to get you. This isn't a cruel joke. They don't what you're saying matters. The fact you hear matters. I say these things to myself in my head all day every day. Well, I'm really sorry. This sounds like it's a really awful. Sorry. I'd give you a hug, but I don't want to give you the flu. Flew to. Thank you. I appreciate it, man. We were talking about do seriously. Thank you. I wanna talk more. Oh, well, before and before we get into talking about the suicide this week there two things we talk about real quick one of them is tour dates, but the first is that era statal is not a cat. Huge, news dot a cat human beings human beings. Our producer is a wonderful, man. He's the only good straight men in Hollywood. He's yeah. Dave an IRA monster. He's honestly, the only straight man that I consider to be alive. Cool because it's a spectrum. Being straight as a spectrum being is. Either day or. To talks Basque, you're straight until you're full gay did. Man. Yeah. No someone who's a fan of another podcast Aristotle produces which I didn't know that he produced other podcasts, but not cool. Not all right with me. Cut out your they thought he was a cat because they only talk about him as the as doddle in the corner. I guess which makes me question. How much this other podcasts respects you? It makes me think that we're your number one. We'll get you to say place. Totally. And. Yeah. Tour dates yet, dude. I I like without even meaning to have like kind of a bunch coming up. Now, the one the big one coming up is him. Night are co headlining two shows that theater on may twenty six fucking Portland. Siren theater. Guys. Santa did all the work things up on our websites. Hampton, young dot com. It's not on my website Ross, but you're putting other dates up there. So that's may twenty six Portland the sirens. Jeter to shows day than me what he'll yet. Coming up, man. We've never done this together. No sauce tonight. Doing sauce a local Austin. Five minutes each at each other at each other. Hey. Sorry. Roofer one straight. I was going to be dead before twenty somehow our material just syncs up perfectly Floyd style. So anyway, my girlfriend cat, my cat. Got depression to Britiah encamped album up with Dave Ross Zalba mitts fuck in seamless. Yeah. And then I also. I'm going to be in boulder on June second. And then I have I'm going to be in Santa Cruz and Eureka and San Francisco also in June, go on my website soon and those states will be up on the roster com. Check out those Portland dates at Hampton dot com. We'd love it. If people came out, we know all up there. So people can make all yeah. We're excited, man. I also been to Portland in a minute. And I love Portland, I decided I don't know what you're doing. But I'm going to stay there for like five days. I'm going to hunt down. Fred arm. A'sun zeal live. The show told me he lives thing, they say you understand that show. No, it's insulting Portland. I think it saying that is the only place Harry Brown your dad to that's not even her name. Do you? See fucking bikini kill is touring. Fuck dude. I wanna see Keeney kills so bad. All right. Well, not brands in bikini kill but. I got to see that ever tell you. I got to see lati- GRA at the smell. It's like. Yeah. Man. They opened for brat mobile. Add the smell if you're listening. You don't know these bans, we're not gonna know what I'm talking about. The smell is like a tiny bombed out punk venue in downtown LA. Which is like if you're fan of no age, the governor of no ages first album is just a building with no Asia at on the front. No age weirdo rippers, and that's the front of the smell and originally like when I first moved to LA in two thousand the smell was an illegal venue where people would drink forties in the alley and shit and the toilet was smashed it was fucked up, and and thus awesome because punk rock, but anyway, Latigo is Kathleen Hannah's band after bikini kill or two bands after yet bands after but whatever they over brat mobile and brat mobile is notorious lesbian, punk bands a lesbian rag band. And I was like in the back with my friend, Ted. And we were like cool. We're going to watch brat mobile, and they started playing and all of these gay women took their shirts off and started marching, and then this huge massive lesbian lady walked up to us. And just. Made us leave. We just had to leave. You gotta get out here. Yes. So everyone in the room could be a woman, and we were like got it. All right, and we left, and we got dinner a real ally would ripped his dick. Got it. Totally. And that women who kicked me out was Hillary Rodham. Kicked three out. Kick me out Clinton. Okay to cough a bunch. And let's sit this week. We're talking about how we Montauk. And he literally was a doorman that use a doorman famous doorman, Howie montoc. We'll be back. The new I'm loved it from McDonalds coming in it. Written by busting Timberlake. Plus timberlake. But I'm kind. Up on busting. Hey. Sup-, dude. Common. Did this is? So what'd you do? So good damn. Did we? Dude, I'm straight up common in this soup right now, I'm really really happy about busting Timberlake. I'm very very proud of. I'm proud that. I said bust in Timberlake. I'm proud that. You said I'm coming in. And I'm really proud of this whole thing this podcast. It's come to Portland and see twenty twenty six in Portland of all places where they don't allow humor. Oh my God. Okay. This week. We are talking about how we Montauk. How we do that. How do we do? We do that would up. I'm how do obser-? I'm sorry. I believe. Sorry, guys. I if how we men Dell's name with how we do that. I would watch Steeler no deal. And I would watch America's got talent. That was his failed show. I'm being totally serious was how Mandel before dealer. No, do or whatever. And America's got talent. He did how. No, we didn't guy on. I think really. It didn't go like it was a pilot. That was like, okay, you're you're not fucking. I'm not fucking around pretty positive how I'm pretty positive. I'm not sure it's not is it never really gotten made other than like a pilot. So yeah, this is okay. So Aerostat who Aristotle who is not a cat. Our wonderful producers just brought it up. How do it? Oh, how we do it. How we do that would have been a better name Hammett. How we do. And how we doing? We because how do it? Also sounds stupid. But how we do that sounds like you're crying. We do. Yeah. Guilty. How do that is a rapper is a soundcloud rapper? Okay. So there's more there's multiple how how do you do debts? We do that. Damn five thousand followers. Okay. How we do that. Interior snus though, how do you do? How do you get back to the how how do you do? How how do you do Mr. cavenaugh? How we do that. Remember how are? How I do that. I was drawn. Talk to the people got blackout drunk with. Like, my friends, smell and pickle. Steve talked to the people. I was actively a huge piece of shit with throughout my life. How we do that. I don't do that. Your honor? I don't do. I don't do that. But how we do that? He don't do that. Ladies gentlemen of the jury. If there is neither an ODA of you questioning how do you have to do? What is morally? Right. Give this man the electric chair. We don't know when you do that. We don't even know that he do. So I don't wanna hear the question how we do. Anyway, thank bullet dodge tallymen. I didn't do the show. It was a little dirty and didn't want to touch it. That is funny. And I don't know what you're. Does he doesn't touch anything? Oh, I didn't know that lives in a separate house and his family. Really? Yeah. You won't even touch his kids. What's shaved his head? He's also like no hair on me. Wow. Well, I think it was balding too. I don't wanna shame someone's mental illness. But it's like at least can you take some pills to be a dad. Billboard pay. We've got a feel for your kids, man. Take some pills dad as a son of others. I am maybe being a little cruel. Right. No, dude. You're not being cruel. I think maybe I was shaming someone for having OCD. But also thinking of his kids like like men, I mean when you have kids I mean, how we do that. How? Starting to feel terrible to have sex to have the kids. You gotta have desserts. Good point. Well, yeah. If you're OCD allows you to have sex he goes into convulsions, this is really comfortable for him. So he kind of works around it. You know? I'm just saying did he live in another house man how he does. Did he live in another house? They in her while they were having sex is what I'm saying. Absolutely Email her. Should maybe he did. Maybe like, I don't know. How do you have milked? It was a good Seinfeld that how do oh city people. The dick sturdy the pluses dirty. Okay. This week. We're talking about how we do that. How iman? He is literally famous for being a doorman, and they're like famous people knew him. He was born in nineteen fifty two. But his heyday was in the nineteen seventies. He was a doorman at Harare dance to rea- studio. Fifty four and palladium cool the life huge dance clubs in the seventies in fuck in New York City. That's interesting. Yeah. And so, and he was like the reason he was about sir at all those places as that. He was like the bouncer who would curate your night got hired as bouncer and then pretty quickly. He was like he would decide who would come into the club. That's what about your does ensure so there's people on the list, and he would manage the list, and then you would let hot people in specifically hot women, but he's very much in that studio fifty four like I'm choosing I've seen that. I mean, of course, we're way too old for that. But like I haven't seen that movie. But I'll guarantee you there's a character that play. AM? Yeah. Because then then posing guy, but he is just like very few. He had an artist brain, he was very creative. He was like so important as abound at these clubs that he had assistance. There would be in front with him with the list. Yeah. And there was another another guy named Mark. Who was like similarly popular as about ser, and so they would look at the crowd, and they would be like, okay? You seem like a person who would contribute something interesting to this party. So like people who have quick question for clarification. Actually. So a bouncer a doorman are these the same thing? I mean, like, he's not like active. He doesn't like beat anybody abound. Doorman are not actually the same thing. But and like an interesting wrinkle with this dude was he actually was like really accomplished martial arts. Also fight people got. Yeah. Okay. So all right. He's what he was all. But he was like a party artist guy who you wouldn't think was good at martial arts. So fuck with them. And then he would beat their S, basically. And they would leave cool dude of know, you really is the guy ever. Yeah. And as I was reading about it. I realized like I mean, basically what happened at these clubs over the weekend is that they would never close the party would never stop inside this club. So he was looking for like drifters and weird artists and people like Andy Warhol's hanging out at clubs and wants to meet fucking weirdos to talk to on acid or whatever. Yeah. So people like that. And people who pay and shit like that. And so yeah, that's what he did. Everyone knew who he was. He did this into the nineties. But as a result of being such a known. Doorman? He then got into the creative community. And. Okay. Here's here's a story about him doors, just like. In the. Does basically a big painting in you in your house. It opens when God closes the door. Man. He opens a window manned. Two or man. Defenders tour, man. Would be awesome house shove people's window. Parking lot. He hasn't window at all times heads through like, oh, sorry, guys. I'm done my windows done for the night. I gotta get a new window. I'm done. I'm done, man. That's I'm done, man. I'm done. No. I already did one thing. Wow. That's so funny. So one of the. One of the big figures at studio fifty four back. Then was Mick Jagger, Mick Jagger, Andy Warhol, Jean Michel Basquiat. Like, these are all people that would hang out at these places. They're all the same guy. And that was yeah. You never saw them in the same room. But I was reading about it. I found out that like the star at these clubs in the Jagger family was Bianca mix wife Bianca who I think was a supermodel, I'm not entirely sure everybody loved her and make was kind of in that scene the one tagging along. So I don't know exactly what happened. But at some point Howie, Montauk forced Mick Jagger to pay the six dollar cover to get into. Get into whichever club Palladian physical currency in years. Yeah. It's a sterile totally. And I my guess what happened is he was like acting king shit and how he's like bianca's coming in quickly in Kant, and he's like Jagger, and he was like that'll be six dollars this. It'll be six dollars to be. Wanna go in? Yup. Man. What a tool I would love to constantly tonight. Mick Jagger things. God. Oh, sorry, Jerry. This is the last soda. Always supposed to live. You can't see it. But AMT his dancing MC Jagger Jagger right now, I've got like Jaeger. Hager Maestra there. It is. I moved out of our bomb. Yes. So like by just being a famous scene person. He started doing other things he he's started writing articles in magazines, like popular, New York magazines, like paper and details, and I didn't know this details is now just like, maxim and paper is what paper is we all know it as the thing with the broke the internet photo from that Kim Carter. Yeah. That's why paper toilet paper joke during that whole. Yeah. For should be called shit shit. Tickets should tickets, totally absolutely Sharman Sharman magazine. I did forget that. That was what paper is basically most known for now. Yeah. It was like did become like headache. Get your. Solely. Totally. Can you believe Jessica Alba is wearing this piece of plastic? Curls. Will you if you're great beer pong? Kill them details. Details all women are stupid. And all men are strong details. Yeah. It's garbage. But back then details paper, we're like New York seen what magazines cool as fuck magazines. And so he wrote for details, especially a lot. And I found this blog post if someone who used to go to all these parties, and she dug up a poem that he wrote about being a doorman that was put in details, and the poem is excuse me, excuse me, who's in charge here. I mean who has the guest list? I must be on it. I am personal friends with just about anybody. You have ever heard of a love this. Yes. Great, right. Honestly like was admiring that like he was writing whole scenes on cocaine everyone's partying twenty four seven. You get to a typewriter. What's crazy to is? This guy went to Boston University. I mean smart. Knows kung FU doorman studio fifty four just being like. Jagger to go take a hike and shit. Let's go. Let's go. Totally. He's just like an ape. But no, he's like, yeah. Coolest door guy of all time. Mr. T, Mr. T stars door guy start it up chains that we get left behind at the clubs and you just start putting them on. And that's how true that's literally out started. Wow. Just find that. That's just like that's very similar to me rollin story about how he was like, you know, this story of why he's in black flag just the audition story. But I mean, what more wasn't audition story the story that I heard was like he was like childhood friends of MCI. And then when black flag was in DC like Dez like hurt his fucking throat or something and Henry Rollins jumped on stage and started singing and they were like oh. This guy. Like, oh, this guy's just like, Mr. T. Pitying fool whose left and right. With. People next at the time. Did he work in an ice cream truck? I remember that. Yeah. Yeah. That story up fast, but story, and then I think he just made him come in one more time where they're just ask. So you know, what I mean, like, he basically the funny thing is that was basically punk music was though is the Mike would fall down all the time. If anybody knew the song. Yeah, you could reasonably pick it up and just start screaming into the microphone, right? And all I get green bit. Can you believe he's hitting the notes? Good. Yeah. So then he he also became such a big figure that he ended up being in movies because these like celebrities would hang out here. How do you? How do you? He's. But how do? He was in that movie downtown eighty one that starred literally star John Michel Basquiat. He played a DJ in crush groove. Cool. Movie called cookie that I've never heard of. Yeah. Then in the other thing, he started doing was that he adds. Yeah. Crazy. He became a producer and promoter of his own shows live shows, he. Had a karaoke show that he ran with his DJ called Anita Sarko and back. Then apparently karaoke wasn't a thing. People knew what it was. But it wasn't. You couldn't go to any bar anywhere and do it. Because there weren't these like program machines, yet show totally there had to be a DJ in a band there and someone had to have made the tracks. Yeah. And so that was really popular. But then he had this really popular show called no in days that ended up getting so popular that it toward multiple continents. But he hosted as this fucking weirdo. And he apparently like knowing ten days was one of the first. Like publicly known places where Madonna played he was like friends with Madonna and also the beastie boys. He had a big hand in breaking Madonna and the beastie boys as pop culture mainstream acts trying to make me Jill. So this really cool. Just like, Mr. T. Well, he committed suicide. Really? Shoot a draw on this. It's like he's read in high, dude. Yeah. I mean, the suicide is very sad. Yeah. I'll get to it in a second. But I do want to say real quick if you wanna know more about this guy, Google, Madonna. Everybody knowing ten days because she played her first single ever at the show, knowing where he's hosting and there's a video of it in one thousand nine hundred eighty two awesome. Yeah. And folks going to. Bono who on Noah ten days? Everybody performance CIA black helicopters lizard conspiracy. Definitely usually watch it because these Tim hosting and trying to get the crowd like into it at the beginning. And they're not. And he's basically like, okay, whatever you suck. You're like a shitty fucking crowd. All right. Here's Donna she's incredible. And then she murders and the crowd. Cheers. Yeah. It's it's honestly, I found it in that blog post someone wrote about it. I watched it. And I was like damn this might be the coolest video I've ever watched. This is like the video of the coolest thing I've ever seen in green day at their high school. Totally dude. Yeah. So in the seventies is when he became a door and became famous as doorman, and he continued doing that through the eighties while he was this like New York City pop icon also made it through the seven. Yeah. Hand through the eighties and then in nineteen ninety one he was diagnosed with aids shit. Yes. The sticky. Wow. His very tragic. This is not okay. Yeah. And like. From being to aids HIV now are not a death sentence. But they were then, and I also more than that than not more than that. But but on top of that like, it was a even more homophobic world. And so like, it was just tragic. I don't know I'm not going to be able to if you don't know this -tory aids. I'm not going to be able to tell it to you. But I would recommend anybody like really look into the story of the aids quilts, totally before your movie, the normal heart. It's like sad. It's just you know, but it's good to know. Dude. Also, you know, it's like was really cool watch as far as like gay culture in the eighties nineties as a person who wasn't a part of it. It was a little bit is the is the the assassination of Gianni Versace CI FX series hasn't seen that. It's like you should watch Netflix. Now, it's so good. And I didn't realize how much it was going to be about. Gay culture in the ninety s which was cool for me to watch. But yeah, it was like, I don't know the world was not good to you. If you had aids vampire, and so his so his reaction was very extreme. He was like fuck this. Okay. I want to say something before I tell you. It's I wanna say something real quick. We got an Email from someone awhile ago. And the the subject line of the Email was suicide is not DIY euthanasia. It's from a person who has a chronic or terminal illness. I believe it's they've chronic illness that causes chronic pain. They don't have a terminal illness. And what they basically said in the Email was, and I the reason I'm not reading it as I don't know if you want it doesn't seem like you want me to oh you can. Yeah. You can read my Email on the podcast, but don't use my name. Okay. Well. Spirit of brevity. I'm just going to sort of summarize it can read it later. But. Basically what they say is it I have chronic illness. And it bothers me how you talk about people who have chronic illness and kill themselves because it makes it sound like your saying. Suicide is euthanasia and youth Aneka is a medical treatment for a disease, and she is right. She's right about that. And she was saying that the David Rymer episode, particularly it sounded like the Lang to her it sound like the language. We were using was saying like that you should kill yourself. If you're in pain, because we that's way way out or something that we think is valid and I have been wind to say this for awhile. I don't feel that way. I really don't feel that way. I don't think anything I think that you should stay alive. I think your life is so worth it. No matter how much pain you're in because we all deal with pain and your chronic illness. Like, I see you. You know, what I mean, I stay here with us. The reason that we talk about it this way isn't because I ever think it's good that these people kill themselves grand cents. It's because suicide is such a delicate subject that we have to manage multiple things we have to manage on the one hand. Not letting anyone who listens to our podcast think that we endorse suicide because we don't we like we need you to stay here. Never do it. That's never our message. But at the exact same time, we don't want to invalidate people suicidal thoughts because we're trying to make people feel better and help them. And so it's tough to ride that line when we talk about things like this because we're like trying to at the same time say stay here with us. But also your pain is valid. So if in navigating those waters, we have made it seem like we think suicide make sense for those people. I am deeply sorry. I really really am. Because I don't feel that way. And I'm almost crying as saying this that I could have possibly made someone feel like I think they should die. Like, I don't feel that way. It's just very difficult because. To have a podcast where we're talking about understanding pain. It's stuff to talk about. And I'm sorry. I mean, we're we're clumsy. We're also done and we're not professional a big. So I don't think guilty of any crimes because I'm done. To them. You know, I think I'm not really trying to tell anybody how to feel about it. And usually my kind of take away with all these just to really not put too much judgment on whatever their reasons are exactly it's like, you can't really know. And that's the thing. That's well says that's what I was trying to get to both both stay alive. Please God stay alive. But also, we don't wanna put judgment on how you feel. And so that's why especially we say like we understand where you're coming from. And if saying we understand where you're coming from sounds like you should do it. That's not what we mean. Ever. I promise you also ever tried just chilling. The least helpful. I don't know maybe just take a chill pill. It does sound like us talking about it at all maybe trigger you, and it's a very triggering podcast. So like just please like in hearing talk about these things remember try to remember that we're coming from a place of trying to keep everybody safe in every way. And so we don't want to be any judgment for real was that especially the listeners for real for real for real. We really do like. So that said he got aids, and he was like I wanna die. And I think that's good bomber. To run a podcast. Dave over to my left. You're talking about how we would ever do that. How air style turn it into a cat over on my right? Neither don't think. That's good. Good repeat. I don't think. That's good. Yeah. But that's that's how he reacted. And it's like, and this is kind of what I'm talking about. It's a hard line. Right. It's hard to not to be like, I understand you're paying especially if you're living in a world where everyone's like fuck you if you're gay if you have aids your gay so fuck you twice. Ever straight outta Compton? When they the doctors telling easy has aids, but he doesn't it very well out. Hey. Hey, well, wait ago. Blew it. Yeah. No, one can talk to them. It's just like no one will visit. It's so fucking sad, dude. Yeah. No one people. They're all these scenes in movies. I've seen where it's like. Dallas buyers club. No. All of his friends are like you have aids. Fuck you all loses is entire friend group. Yeah. So this is what he did June seventh. He invited of bunch of people to his house for a party on June, seventh nineteen ninety one it's birthday party. It's your darling. We love you, very very very very very much since this started humming. And it was all out. This is very interesting. And then twenty people came to his suicide party. Holy. Yeah. Wow. So a lot of people who didn't did they know is going to be. Yes, they knew decided Vicky invited a lot more than twenty people and twenty people came and one of the people that attended the party by phone was Madonna. Actually, he invited away less and a lot more show, which is even weirder. A Facebook event the flyer. Free pizza here. I saw this on chuckle monkey. That's a reference. No one will understand maybe not even Hampton ninety than me. But it was the open mic list in the early. Two thousands chuckle monkey dot com. No, I didn't get the before. Alan the beckon comedy bureau. Boy got saved by bureau. Gour? So he's people come and he throws a party there. Like, there's like, dancing, and drinks and food and drugs and everybody gets fucked up, and then he takes five like in front of everybody is like by takes five second all and goes to sleep. And then the rest of the people continue partying kind of goes to, you know. Sleep. Yeah. But yeah, you passes out into slumber and everyone's like shit. Okay. Were partying him into the after. King Burson deep into the night. He fucking wakes up and people are still partying. The five off dead. It's a lethal dose. But it didn't kill right. You wakes up, and he's super fucked up people are partying and they've destroyed his house, and so he wakes up, and he's like fuck you for destroying my house. Why'd you destroy just like bitches everybody out weird. And then takes twenty-second all in dies. That's how this fucking do died. From. Fuck as into just die. Let's like a pelican amount of pills. Yeah. You can't swallow that I want. So it takes several okay. Just keep going from a minute of eating pills. They took all hundred aspirin. I'm like, she's what did they take him four days? So hard to get that build on my throat hard pills to swallow. It's hard to to take pills in order for me. Yeah. How bills did he put him in just put him at the bottom of his bowl? Makes cereal. Committed suicide. Well done. Fucking in saying, yes. Surprised? I mean, here's the thing that it's cool part of me wants to be like, that's cool cool store. But a part of me also like it is I would be really I don't think I could ever not think about how my friend killed himself in front of me. I know even though I'd be like I knew it was gonna die. But I would just be I think, well, let's the weird underlying thing this entire story. Like, we're I'm listing. All these details about this, dude. All we're talking about is how cool it is. 'cause this whole story sounds so cool. But then you take a step back. Like, basically, this guy just did drugs for decades and was famous for that for doing drugs and helping other people do drugs correction by doing drugs that best. Yeah. And so then he killed himself in this really dark fucking disconnected way. Everyone in that room was disconnected from real life to such an extent that they watch their friend. I and kept partying. That's why it's disco dude. It's disconnected from reality. It's just go. It's not disc. It was actually originally called. No, what's I guess. He couldn't. Couldn't get rid of the party culture. Yeah. It's a party knows how to express himself. Yeah. I guess or I guess like twenty I was just I don't wanna put a judgment on it. I just judging on it. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe it was like literally, maybe it's maybe it was like fuck. Maybe they just I wasn't that party. Maybe they were like, maybe there was all this crying, and everyone is constantly and they were like wool. But we and maybe everyone in that room truly felt like he had no other option. I don't know. And then he woke up and started yelling at us that we left a bunch of ships out. And we were like, oh, yeah. He. He must have dead like you. Checking all is like. It's like a tranquilizer. Right. Isn't it? I don't know what it is. I haven't done many tracks. I've only done Vicadin is that the tranquilizer, oh it is sleeping pill. Fuck okay. So we took five you should probably done more. If you're yeah. Totally done this drug culture for so long. Maybe just maybe should I do should I take a little league? I don't wanna overdose. I just wanna die. I'm gonna make cigarettes and we'd. Watch out. I'm gonna mix vodka with a little bit of nutmeg. Nutmeg? Yeah. Wow. Dude. That's crazy. So wait, he invited Madonna and she didn't come and she was like, oh, I have a thing. But I'll call it. I'll Skype I'll Skype into your suicide party, basically Lord. I mean, it was nineteen ninety one. She was pretty busy. Is point. That's why she's fucking vanilla ice. Fuck. Lucidly at the time is busy wrapping with turtles. Man. Yeah. It's weird. Isn't it? These these episodes we do where where it's like. I don't know this just tough where the life is very interesting, and it seems like a lot of fun. And then they go and a crazy way. It's like there's a lot of jokes to be made. And and there's a lot of like interesting story to talk about. But then you come around to like, I mean, it's still tragic. It's just always is like always would have been better if he had stuck around. Yeah. I mean for sure I mean, w if he hadn't got debilitating disease, but it's also like, you know, try and come to some of these stories with just understanding, and you're like, I have empathy for that. Totally. I like hearing that story because it also is very human. You know, sometimes like people do have these very exceptional lives that are kind of like, wow, they're crushing it killing it. And that's not like the takeaway the story. But it's like it's just interesting to. Always see these dimensions of people's lives. And how. Sometimes you can understand it. And sometimes you can't understand it. But you have to come at it with empathy. Human beings. It is very hard to outwardly show empathy for everyone, and like it's actually not difficult for you to do personally, but it's hard to be perceived as that definitely because right? Talking about because I say, I totally empathize with this dude who wanted to kill himself. And then someone else could be like are you saying I should kill myself. I mean, no, no, I'm not. Play the podcast backwards. That is what we do tell you it, syncs up instantly. Dude. Pink Floyd's, the wall, syncs perfectly with pink Floyd's dark side of the movie, you told me that came out later that the wall was about Roger waters girlfriend who dumped him. I'm going to have to go on this is that you. Yeah. I I've been thinking a lot about it recently. God I want that to be true so bad. This like epic thing that everyone who ever went to college is like he's talking about the system and just turns out he was said bring about building a wall between you and your your wife, and then she leaves you. See all the problems now to mean different things just break-up sometimes Walzer about immigrants than sometimes. It's about feelings, dude. Dude, I'm going to build a wall and make my wife pay for it. Being alone. Great again. That's what you got. I'm gonna make being loan. Great again, the new system PS four. I'm playing my new system. I really enjoyed that episode. Thanks so much for bringing. Thank you, man. Yeah. That was good. I hope listening. You got something out of it. You maybe feel a little less alone, a little less sadder or whatever scares who was tied horny less suicide less. A little less full little content. A little less conversation and guys check up patriots episodes that we're putting up lots of fun bonus content up there. Oh, dude kills himself predator. What movie? Risk cutter. The risk cutter. Predator does kill him. So yeah. Let's episode predator. Cool. Yeah. We're we two bonus episodes with both of us for the five dollar patrons each week. It's patriot dot com slash suicide buddies. We're going to that right now the sewed will be about the suicide in predator and. Yeah. I don't know. Just thank you guys for listening alive. Guys, check out tour dates albeit and Seattle may twenty fourth and twenty fifth, and then Dave and together in Portland may twenty six but feel free to check out rotates. I'll put stuff on. On my website. Dave Ross dot com by the end of today. Yeah. And yeah, we wanna come up. All right. Let's do the fuck it. Dude, fun. Thanks bye. Thank you so much for listening to suicide buddies. Remember, these suicide jokes that we tell we do it because we are dark people that joke around about our own pain. And we hope that that'll help you make you laugh, it's not because we think people committing suicide is funny or that we take suicide lightly. So if you're dealing with suicidal thoughts, please please call the national suicide prevention lifeline right away. The number is one eight hundred two seven three talk. They're always there. They will hear you. And they know you've been through so call if you need it or reach out to people in your life, or whoever there are resources feel better stay here with us on earth. Glad you're alive and thanks again. For listening. Podcast network.